Resolving Conflict and Handling Difficult People Problems

Presented by:Andrew C. Marris, MBA

Learning and Development Manager

FRONTLINE LEADERSHIP SERIESSESSION 4

INGETEAM | February 2015INGETEAM | February 2015

Forms, Policies, Samples

Training and Development

RecruitingHR Consulting and Project Work

CompensationReference Checking

Surveys

How MRA Serves Its Members24/7 HR Counselors

AGENDA

This program has been designed and will be conducted to help you:

Know the sources of conflict

Identify strategies to constructively handle conflict

Deal with difficult coworkers

Understand how change can cause people to become difficult

CONFLICT AND THE PROACTIVE QUESTION

Example:

Why is there so much conflict in the workplace?

CONFLICT DISCUSSION

1. Is conflict negative or positive?

2. When is conflict a positive event?

3. What kinds of things can cause a conflict to turn negative?

4. What can a leader do to help the conflict move in a positive direction? Can you think of an example?

CONFLICT: THE ROOT CAUSE

Knowing where the conflict comes from is the key to resolution.

The source of most conflict comes from

Conflict is intensified when there are great differences in the amount and the source.

CARING.

SOURCES OF CONFLICT

Caring

Information

Methods

Goals

Values

VALUE CONFLICT AREAS

“Older” “Younger”

Employees Employees

Loyalty

Technology

Work/Lifestyle Balance

Perception of Authority

Change

CONFLICT RESOLUTION: BETWEEN YOU AND ME

The Process of “Talking It Out”

Steps:

Step 1: Define the problem

Step 2: Listen to get their story

Step 3: Explain your side

Step 4: Get agreement

Step 5: Work out a solution together

CONFLICT MANAGEMENT STYLES

Aggressive/Confrontational

Assertive/Persuasive

Avoiding/Reactive

Observant/Introspective

Su

bm

issi

ve

Do

min

ant

Non-supportive Supportive

DIFFICULT PEOPLE AND THE PROACTIVE QUESTION

Example:

Why do people have to be so difficult to work with?

DIFFICULT PEOPLE

Think of a difficult person that you currently work with, or a difficult person that you have worked with in the past. Identify specific behaviors that make this person difficult.

EMPLOYEE DEFENSIVE TACTICS

Intimidator

Bellyacher

Dummy (like a fox)

Dodger

Wimp

STRATEGIES FOR DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE

1. Review the situation

2. Identify inappropriate behaviors

3. Identify negative results

4. Plan new actions

5. Give feedback

6. Document

7. Stay calm

JUST-CAUSE STANDARDS

Reasonable

Uniform

Known

Active

Investigated

Mitigating/Aggravating Circumstances

PERFORMANCE FEEDBACK

“I” Message Technique

When ___________________________________ (Factually describe the behavior)

The effect on me is ________________________________

(Describe the results of the action)

I feel ____________________________________________

(Give an honest description of your feelings)

I hope/prefer that you ______________________________

(State your expectations of behavioral change or continuity)

STEPS FOR RECEIVING FEEDBACK

1. Stay calm and take charge of your emotions

2. Listen

3. Ask for clarification or additional information if needed

4. Ask for suggestions

5. Consider the information; agree with any truth

6. Acknowledge and respond to the message

VIOLENT EMPLOYEE PROFILE

White (75% probability) male (80% probability)

25-50 years of age (90% probability)

History of violence, family, or marital problems

Is a loner

Is an angry person—crying out for help—with few outlets for that anger

Has a history of interpersonal conflict

Has temper control difficulties

Strong political and religious views

Socially withdrawn, low self-esteem

Becomes paranoid of others

VIOLENT EMPLOYEE PROFILE

Exhibits self-destructive behavior, such as drug or alcohol abuse

Frequently complains about working conditions, environment, or stress

Blames others for his or her problems

Has fascination with, access to, and is familiar with guns

Makes direct or veiled threats

Intimidates or instills fear in others

A triggering event, such as a loss of job, financial, legal, or other personal problems

Possible history of military service

WHY PEOPLE RESIST

1. Loss of control

2. Excess uncertainty

3. Surprise, surprise

4. “Difference” effect

5. Loss of face

6. Concerns about future competence

7. Ripple effects

8. More work

9. Past resentments

10. Sometimes the threat is real

11. Disagreement with change

12. Lack of ongoing information on progress

SUREFIRE WAYS TO ESCALATE CONFLICT AND INCREASE DEFENSIVENESS

1. Use the words “always” and “never”

2. Be judgmental

3. Speak without thinking

4. Argue

5. Use a loud tone of voice

6. Use closed-ended questions only

7. Remain fixed in your thinking

8. Lecture

9. Remain indifferent

10. Be patronizing

11. Air your own issues

12. Counter-attack

13. Make “you” statements

INGETEAM | February 2015INGETEAM | February 2015

THANK YOU!THANK YOU!

Resolving Conflict and Handling Difficult People Problems

Presented by:Andrew C. Marris, MBA

Learning and Development Manager

FRONTLINE LEADERSHIP SERIESSESSION 4