ILLUSTRATION BY MICHAEL MILLER FOR USN&WR U.S.News & World Report, August 18 / August 25, 2003 47

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T he brand-new computer sizzledand fizzled. The roofer’s handi-work led to an indoor flood of bib-

lical proportions. The hmo won’t sendyou a copy of your medical records eventhough they charged a copying fee toyour credit card. You’ve written letters,sent E-mails, left voice mails filled withphrases like “no choice but to call alawyer.” And nothing. Zilch. Not a whitof satisfaction did you get.

As newsweeklies like to say: You arenot alone. A number of reputablegroups and individuals stand ready totake your case.

Historically, consumers with com-plaints have turned to Uncle Sam andfriends: the Federal Trade Commis-sion, the Consumer Product SafetyCommission, and state attorneys gen-eral or local district attorneys. Budgetcuts have taken a toll, but these groupsstill soldier on.

AB-SURD. The 89-year-old ftc usesa massive database of consumer com-plaints to squash scams. Victims mayeven get some restitution. In “Projectabsurd,” which began in May 2002,the ftc filed complaints against thecompanies marketing three electron-ic abdominal exercise belts—Fast Abs,AbTronic, and Ab Energizer—afterconsumer complaints that the devicesdid not create the promised “six-packabs.” (Whodathunkit?) “The claimswere outrageous,” says Heather Hipp-sley, assistant director of the ftc’s ad-vertising practices division. A fewweeks ago, the ftc slammed the abscammers, winning a $5 million set-tlement to give consumers some por-tion of their money back.

“Every complaint,” says ftc spokes-woman Lois Greisman, “is potentiallythe one we’ve been looking for.” Theftc accepts complaints online(www.ftc.gov), by snail mail (FederalTrade Commission, crc-240, Wash-ington, DC 20580), or at (877) 382-4357. You’ll hear back only if your com-plaint is used in a larger case.

The cpsc, which protects consumersfrom the hazards of everyday products,

is itself suffering from the hazards ofbudget cuts. The employee roll is downto 471 full-timers, an all-time low.That’s bad news for efforts to modern-ize, but the agency is still effective: InJune, more than 1 million car seat/car-riers were recalled because of faultyhandle locks that can break and flip in-fants to the ground. The cpsc process-es about 10,000 reports of product-re-lated injuries and deaths per year.Gripe by E-mail (hazard@cpsc.gov),phone (800-638-2772, Ext. 650), fax(800-809-0924), or letter (U.S. Con-sumer Product Safety Commission, In-jury Report, Washington, DC 20207).After reading your complaint, the cpsc sends a letter describing how it may use the information and givesyou a chance to make additions or cor-rections. If you have fingered a man-

ufacturer, the cpsc will send yourcomplaint to the company, whichmay respond directly to you. If the

cpsc does a more comprehensiveprobe—that happens with only a fewcases—an investigator will contact youby phone or mail.

If Penelope the Plumber stiffs you,try a local consumer protection agency,district attorney, or your state’s attor-ney general. But you may need to be pa-tient. Budget cuts forced the Sacra-mento, Calif., district attorney’s officeto “just stop taking cases for fourmonths,” says Russ Detrick, head of theoffice’s consumer division. That situ-ation turned around in July, but Det-rick says that they’ll still “have to scru-tinize the cases we take a lot more.There have to be more victims.”

Even in tough times, consumer pro-tection bureaus can be seriously hands-on. In Montgomery County, Md., a res-ident’s complaint that his water heaterinstallation was too expensive triggereda visit from a county investigator and aplumbing expert. They deemed theprice reasonable but will still investi-gate the company that did the work—itnever got a county permit or inspec-tion. “It’s critical that people com-plain,” says Eric Friedman, investiga-

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S P E C I A L R E P O R T U L T I M A T E C O N S U M E R G U I D E

BY SAMANTHA LEVINE

RESCUE SQUADS

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RUBBERBALL PRODUCTIONS—GETTY IMAGES48 U.S.News & World Report, August 18 / August 25, 2003

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tive administrator for the county’sdivision of consumer affairs. “Theyare our eyes and ears.” For a list ofstate and local programs, go towww.pueblo.gsa.gov/crh/state.htm.

Among nonprofit crusaders, theBetter Business Bureau is the mostwell known—and the busiest. The 124bbb offices nationwide have seencomplaints shoot up by more than50 percent in the past two yearsto more than 626,000. Among thefastest-growing subjects of complaintare confusing cellphone plans, Inter-net services, and computer dealers. Anew online complaint form alsohas boosted the numbers. That hasmeant longer turnarounds for an-swers. To deal with the backlog, theDallas bureau, which received 17,671complaints last year—the highesttotal in 10 years—provides “express”handling for $20 to folks who don’twant to wait up to six weeks or so forresolution.

Some irate consumers are so tired of“free” help, they’re willing to pony upcash to a handful of Web sites thatpester companies for you. Your moneybuys a little more follow-up than youmight get from a government or non-profit group. Attorney Carl Shoolman’scx.org made the difference for one an-noyed consumer. In this case, a clienttried to get a refund from Sears after or-dering a garage-door opener—and get-

ting a deep-fat fryer instead. The mancalled Sears several times. The compa-ny told him to purchase another open-er and said that if it found the first one,it would refund its cost. The flummoxeddeep-fat fryer owner contacted Shool-man, who was able to direct a letter tothe right person at Sears. The companymade the refund.

PIT BULLS. Shoolman says the cus-tomer service reps probably aren’t pro-grammed to stonewall customers,but their “job is to get yelled at all dayand say no.” The $43 fee Shoolmancharges pays for his loyalty: “It’s the onlyway consumers can be sure that we arefully representing them.” And he’s abargain. Consumer advocate DavidHorowitz, founder of fightback.com,charges $75 to write a person-al letter to, call, or E-mailthe offending company,and to follow up twicemore. Be cautious whenyou try out a fee-for-servicesite. Some haven’t lastedtoo long, and some havedisappeared with theconsumers’ dough.Where do you com-plain then?

A simple

online rant might get you satisfaction—and won’t cost a penny. The Web is fullof sites where disgruntled folks dumpon the source of their discontent. Andthe corporate world is a little nervousabout bad Internet karma. Most com-panies ignore the “sucks” sites likesucks500.com, which posts laments oneverything from George W. Bush to Mi-crosoft. But they monitor sites likecomplaints.com and thecomplaintsta tion.com, and once in a great while,they take unsolicited action.

As Subaru’s quality control andtraining leader, Patricia Mickel spends

10 hours a week trolling the Netfor Subaru problems. One dayin August 2001, she found a

Subaru owner vent-ing on car Website edmunds.comabout a broken dif-

ferential on his vehi-cle. He said that Subaru

wasn’t helping him. Mickel“felt really bad.” She also recog-

nizes that a happy customer is a loyalcustomer. So she E-mailed him, askedsome pertinent questions, and thencalled his mechanic. Eventually,the mechanic confessed to damag-ing the part and agreed to fixit at no cost. And it was all

because of a corporate captainwho’s a consumer crusader in

disguise. l

S P E C I A L R E P O R T U L T I M A T E C O N S U M E R G U I D E

GROUP HOW IT WORKS FEE COMMENT

No, they won’t lend a hand if the dog ate your tax return. But these groups promise a measure of aid for folks with legit gripes.

PlanetFeedbackwww.planetfeedback.com/consumer

Fill out a form and the Feedbackians turn it into a well-phrased letter you can send via E-mail or snail mail.They even tell you the best person to send it to.

None. To survive,they sell consumerdata to corporations.

Too busy (or too intimidated) towrite your own letters? You’ve gotnothing to lose.

Better Business Bureauwww.bbb.org, (703) 276-0100

Has online complaint forms. The BBB forwards thecomplaint to the company, requesting resolution. Typi-cally a three-week time lag before a response comes.

Free online; twochapters charge forphone help.

If a company doesn’t reply, BBBcan only note that fact in itsrecords.

Call For Actionwww.callforaction.org, (301) 657-8260

They’ll assign one of their 1,200 volunteers to yourcase until it’s resolved.

None. Partners with TV stations in 22cities. Strong on telemarketingscams and Internet fraud.

Fight Back!www.fightback.com

Founded by TV journalist David Horowitz. His groupconsiders your complaint and takes it on if it seemsyou have a case.

$75 to pursue acomplaint, $25 to answer a question

Horowitz’s reputation carries clout.Maybe that’s why his picture isplastered all over the site.

ConsumerXchangewww.cx.org, (585) 271-7170

Lawyer Carl Shoolman promises to pursue a case withletters and phone calls until you get an offer you deemacceptable.

$43 Limited track record, but anyonewho can get AOL to correct a billingerror deserves consideration.

Complaints.comwww.complaints.com

You post your complaint for all to see (and if you’re soinclined, you can share this fact with the target of yourwrath).

None. For people who want to vent (andhope someone will notice). – Chan-ning Joseph and Jennifer Bauser

OH COME, ALL YE HELPLESS