Reminder: 1. Please prepare a notebook (your Success Journal) and

bring it to this class every week. On the notebook you will write down your notes and answers to questions/quizzes in class.

2. Please write down the following Statement of Passion on your notebook: By signing on this statement, I understand that I will do my best to attend all the classes and complete all the quiz/homework/project requirements. With my passion for life I believe I can do it.

3. This statement of passion with your signature will worth 15% toward your overall grade.

4. Being absent once means 6 points will be deducted. Being late (for more than 5 minutes) twice is the same as being absent.

5. Please start to form a group with 8 to 10 people and elect a group leader. You will work on the midterm presentation and final project with your group members.

6. Please download course notes and upload homework through NCKU moodle.

Maximize Confidence 1

Review the definition of being successful: Audacity to dream; ability to take actions to make dreams come true; self-adjustment for goal reaching or serendipity; creation of value for other people in the process.

Factors in success: methods, observation, resources, attitude, and luck. (MORAL)

There is no absolutely correct answer! Your choice of the factors are also right!

High self-esteem and self-confidence: the foundation of producing miracles and life-long success.

Gold Buddha covered by clay: discover the essence underneath the surface of who we think we are.

Following the right steps to gain self-esteem is just like following some universal laws (e.g., gravity). Without a correct direction, simply hard work will not lead you to your goal (e.g., dialing a wrong number).

Swimming example: transforms the ideas into actions.

High self-esteem is the combination of information, motivation, inspiration, and perspiration.

Research shows that self-esteem decays with age. Why?

Why do rejections mean so much to some people but almost nothing to some other people? The difference lies in self-esteem and self-confidence.

If I say, you have blue hair, will that hurt your feeling? How about saying you are selfish?

You feel hurt not because what I say to you but because of self doubt or low self-esteem.

Why is self-esteem so important? Metaphor: poker chip theory of life. With more chips on hand you tend to participate more and take more risks, but with less chips you tend to sit back or even give up quickly.

In order to build our self-esteem and self-confidence, we also need to risk more.

For example, asking questions in class may also be a risk (because people may laugh at your stupid question).

Start taking risks in life. If we take risks in riding a bike or taking a course, why not take risks in other areas of life?

Dimples on a golf ball make the ball fly farther. In real life wounds will also make you stronger.

Practice: Ask two students to play gambling with unequal amount of chips.

Self-esteem can be built up through relationship. If you do not feel lovable and capable through interacting with your family or people around you, now it is time to build up this kind of feeling.

Having a group of people who can support you or a place where you belong will help increase your self-esteem.

Story of unwilling to go to school. Find (or even create) places in your life; so that

when you go in there, the world brightens up, for you and also for people in that place.

Research (on thousands of people) shows that the more the social contact, the lower the death rate.

Practice of mutual trust: Walk around the classroom and face with 10 different people (whom you do not know before taking the class) for about 5 seconds without any physical contact. Write down your feeling after meeting each person. (Pick one of the followings. 1. I can trust this person. 2. I can’t trust this person. 3. I am not sure if I can trust this person.) After the practice please ask yourself why you choose 1 (or 2, 3) more often.

Next, repeat the same routine but with some physical contact (e.g. hand shake). Will your choice be different this time?

The power of physical touch (e.g. infants, truth telling, and even health …). Using touches to not only raise your own self-esteem but also other people’s.

When you say you want to “get in touch with someone”, why not reach out and really touch someone?

After leaving the class today, would it be possible to feel totally connected with people? Would it also be possible to feel totally lonely?

Practice: Talk to two people who are not in your group.

The most important thing in building self confidence: I am 100% responsible for whatever I experience in my life.

E (events) + R (response) = O (outcome, or experience and results)

Our response is the interpretation of the events, and usually in the format of self-talk.

If you don’t like the outcome, what would you do? You think people can make you feel bad (or vice-

versa) because of incorrect expectation or education.

Example: In the relationship with your significant other, have you thought of changing something about him/her?

It is a lot easier to change yourself than others.

In the formula E + R = O, R can also mean risk. This is because if you want a different outcome, you must take risks to change your response.

In asking someone out, there is nothing to lose. Restaurant example.

All growths require changes, and all changes induce discomfort. Will you let some small comfort stop you from moving forward? Get out of your comfort zone!

The biggest mistake: over-generalization. Incapability in one field does not mean incapability in other

fields. Practice of focus: Notice objects in green color in this room. Practice of focus: List 3 things about you that are better than

Mr. Jay Chow or Miss Chih-ling Lin. From now on, focus more on what you have, not what you

don’t have.

Homework:

1. Please find a friend or two and listen to their goals and encourage them to go for it. (It is better accompanied with some physical contact.) Please write down your thoughts after doing it.

2. Think of an unpleasant event. Write down how you can change your response in order to feel ok or even good about the same event.