DEVELOPMENT OF THE SELF IN

SOCIETY

RELATIONSHIPS AND

FRIENDSHIPS

A TRUE FRIEND IS ONE WHO KNOWS

ALL ABOUT YOU AND LIKES YOU JUST

THE SAME

THERE IS MORE HUNGER FOR LOVE AND APPRECIATION

IN THIS WORLD THAN FOR BREAD

LOVE IS LIKE PLAYING THE GUITAR. FIRST YOU

MUST LEARN TO PLAY BY THE RULES, THEN YOU

MUST FORGET THE RULES AND PLAY FROM

YOUR HEART

A RELATIONSHIP IS LIKE PLAYING ANY

GAME: IF YOU DONT KNOW THE RULES YOU CANNOT BE A

SUCCESSFUL PLAYER

HOW TO INITIATE A

RELATIONSHIP

HOW TO SUSTAIN A

RELATIONSHIP

HOW TO END A

RELATIONSHIP

WHY SHOULD WE WANT OR

HAVE RELATIONSHIPS?

ME

FAMILY STRUCTURE

NUCLEAR FAMILY eg MOTHER, FATHER, BROTHER AND SISTEREXTENDED FAMILY eg MOTHER, FATHER, BROTHER, SISTER AND GRANDPARENTSBLENDED FAMILY eg A MAN (WITH CHILDREN OF HIS OWN) WHO MARRIES A WOMAN (WITH CHILDREN OF HER OWN)CHILD-HEADED FAMILY eg BIG BROTHER AND YOUNGER SIBLINGSSINGLE-PARENT FAMILY eg MOTHER AND CHILDREN OR FATHER AND CHILDREN

FAMILY STRUCTURE: THE PEOPLE IN A

FAMILY

DEFINITIONS

ALL GOOD RELATIONSHIPS(WITH ANYONE- YOUR FRIENDS, SIBLINGS, NEIGHBOURS, TEACHERS, PARENTS,

FAMILY) SHARE COMMON CHARACTERISTICS. FOR YOUR

RELATIONSHIPS TO FEEL SATISFYING, HEALTHY AND GOOD THERE ARE

CERTAIN THINGS THAT YOU SHOULD THINK ABOUT.

1+1=3WHY 3? WELL WHEN ONE PERSON ENTERS

INTO A RELATIONSHIP WITH ANOTHER PERSON, THERE ARE TWO PEOPLE TO

CONSIDER, PLUS THE RELATIONSHIP. FOR A RELATIONSHIP TO WORK WELL, ALL THREE PARTS ARE IMPORTANT. ALL THREE PARTS MUST BE CARED FOR, LOOKED AFTER AND

NOT NEGLECTED. THIS IS IMPORTANT FOR THE TWO PEOPLE AND THEIR RELATIONSHIP TO

GROW AND BLOSSOM

HOW TO INITIATE A

RELATIONSHIP

FATHIMA: HI, IM FATHIMA. IM NEW IN THIS AREA.JANE: HELLO FATHIMA. IM JANE. HAVE YOU COME TO LIVE HERE?FATHIMA: YES, WE MOVED HERE FROM POLOKWANE AND I DONT KNOW ANYONE YET. YOU LOOK ABOUT MY AGE.JANE: IM 13 AND IN GRADE 8. I GO TO MIDLANDS HIGH.FATHIMA: SAME HERE! I HOPE I’LL BE IN YOUR CLASS. I’LL AT LEAST KNOW ONE PERSON!JANE: OH, I’LL INTRODUCE YOU TO MY FRIENDS. THEN YOU’LL KNOW LOTS!

FATHIMA:THANKS, ITS SO DIFFICULT TO MAKE NEW FRIENDS. JANE: I KNOW. IF YOU’RE ALWAYS THIS OPEN AND FRIENDLY, YOU’LL BE MORE THAN WELCOME AT SCHOOL. MOST OF MY FRIENDS COME FROM OUTSIDE OF TOWN, SO WE LIKE WELCOMING NEW FACES INTO OUR CIRCLE.FATHIMA: MY FRIENDS ALWAYS SAID NEW PEOPLE DONT THINK LIKE WE DO.JANE: MMM... I SUPPOSE SOME PEOPLE FEEL THAT WAY. MY FRIENDS AND I FIND THAT WE HAVE SO MUCH FUN LEARNING FROM EACH OTHER THAT BEFORE LONG A NEW MEMBER FEELS JUST LIKE WE DO.

HOW TO SUSTAIN A

RELATIONSHIP

Sipho has looked after his two children, Thandi and Londeka, since

he and his wife separated four months ago. Thandi and Londeka go to day-

care centre during the day. Sipho has trouble when shopping, because

many of the services, such as baby-changing rooms, are designed for

women only.

What other problems Sipho might experience as a single father?

Charles, a 45-year-old man, has two children from his first marriage, James and

Paul. He married Amanda and she has three children, Zak, Max and Alex. Charles

and Amanda love each other very much and they each love their own children very much. They both hoped that this

marriage would be a happy one, both for themselves and for the children. After two months of marriage, they started to have

problems

Charles lives in a blended family.1.“Life in a blended family can be difficult at times”. Explain this statement.2. What problems can arise when living in a blended family?3. Can the same problems be found in other kinds of family structures?

Zainub is a 15-year-old girl. She always had a good relationship with her parents. She loves her friends especially Ruqayyah and Jane. Ruqayyah is turning 16 and she has invited a few friends to celebrate her birthday with her. They are going to have a party at her house because her parents

are going away for the weekend. The party will start at 7pm and all her friends

will stay over for the night.

Zainub is very excited because it will be the first time she sleeps over after a party. Ruqayyah has an elder brother Zaakir. He also invited his friends to stay over for the

night. Her parents and grandmother, however, do not want her to go to the

party or to sleep over. After a long decision, her parents agree that she can go to the Ruqayyah’s house only if her

older brother, Zubair, can take her to the party

and he must bring her home by 9:00pm. She refuses to go to the party at all as she feels that she is old enough to go out on

her own and that her brother will embarrass her. He knows Zaakir, but they

are not good friends. Zainub is very unhappy and feels her parents do not

trust and understand her.

1. What advice would you give Zainub?2. What advice would you give her parents?3. How do you think this situation will influence her relationship with her parents?

Yahya and Zunaid are best friends since grade 1. This year they both entered high

school. Zunaid is more interested in impressing the girls and getting a

girlfriend. He also hangs out with Isa who is in Grade 11. Isa smokes and drinks.

Yahya and Zunaid’s friendship has been drifting apart since the beginning of high

school. Yahya feels his best friend has changed and he does not like the new

Zunaid.

Yahya’s parents have even noticed the change and asked him to keep away from

Zunaid. After years together as best friends, Yahya finds it so hard to break of

his friendship with Zunaid. Zunaid still thinks of Yahya as his best friend. Isa

invited Zunaid to go clubbing with him. Zunaid told Yahya about it and asked him to join them. Since then Yahya has been

avoiding Zunaid.

1. Is Yahya doing the right thing by avoiding his best friend?2. What advice would you give Yahya?3. What do you think would be they appropriate way to end this?4. What can Yahya do to avoiding ending this friendship?

1. FATHER AND SON2. TEACHER AND STUDENT3. BROTHER AND SISTER4. NEIGHBOUR AND YOU5. SPORTS TEAM AND YOU6. SMALLER CHILD AND YOU

WHAT DOES ISLAM SAY?

“It is better to sit alone than in company with the bad, and it is better still to sit

with the good than alone. It is better to speak to a

seeker of knowledge than to remain silent, but silence is better than idle words.”

Say to the believing men that they should lower

their gaze and guard their modesty... And say to the

believing women that they should lower their

gaze and guard their modesty

Rasulullah (SAW) said, "Whenever a man is

alone with a woman the Devil makes

a third." (Al-Tirmidhi 3118, Narrated Umar

ibn al-Khattab)