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Relationship with a Spiritual Teacher in Two Lifetimes

A deep relationship with a spiritual teacher can be themost uplifting and significant bonding in ones lifetime. Itcan also be a source of self-deception, pain, and spiritualdespair. All depends on actively making the relationshipa healthy one. This, in turn, depends on having a realisticattitude about our own and our teachers qualifications,about the aim of the bonding, and about the dynamics

and boundaries of the relationship.I wrote Relating to a Spiritual Teacher: Building a HealthyRelationship (Ithaca: Snow Lion, 2000) primarily because Ihad benefited so significantly from my relationships withmy main teachers Tsenzhab Serkong Rinpoche, HisHoliness the Dalai Lama, and Geshe Ngawang Dhargyey and because I was saddened that so many sincerespiritual seekers I had met on my world teaching tourshad had less optimal experiences. Many, havingencountered sexual, financial, or power abuse, identifiedthemselves as innocent victims. Having placed the blame

solely on the abusive teachers, they distanced themselvesfrom all spiritual mentors and, occasionally, even fromthe spiritual path. Others lived in denial of theirunhealthy relationships and felt that proper "Guru-devotion" not only justified, but even sanctified allbehavior from a teacher, no matter how damaging itmight seem by conventional standards. Both extremesprevented the students from receiving the full benefit tobe gained from a healthy relationship.

In cases where the students are Western and the teachersTibetan, one source of the problem is culturalmisunderstanding, compounded by unrealisticexpectations that the other party will act according toones own cultural norms. Further sources of confusion

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are taking the standard textual presentations of thestudent-teacher relationship out of their original contexts,interpreting them literally, and mistaking the meaning ofthe technical terms, often due to misleading translations.

The lam-rim (graded path) texts, for example, present therelationship as the "root of the path" and discuss it as theirfirst major topic. The point of the metaphor, however, isthat a tree derives its sustenance from its roots, not that itbegins from a root. A tree starts from a seed, andTsongkhapa did not call the relationship the "seed of thepath." After all, the original lam-rim audience was notbeginners. It consisted of monks and nuns, gathered toreceive a tantric empowerment and who, as preparation,needed a review of the sutra teachings. For such persons,already committed to the Buddhist path from previousstudy and practice, a healthy relationship with a spiritualteacher is the root from which to gain inspiration tosustain the complete path to enlightenment. The intentionwas never that newcomers to Western Dharma centersneeded to begin by seeing the spiritual teachers there as

Buddhas.

In my own case, the deepest relationship I have with aspiritual teacher spans two lifetimes of that teacher. Ispent nine years as disciple, interpreter, English secretary,and foreign tour manager of Tsenzhab Serkong Rinpoche,the late Master Debate Partner and Assistant Tutor of HisHoliness the Dalai Lama. Rinpoche passed away in 1983,was reborn exactly nine months later, and was identifiedand returned to Dharamsala at the age of four. Both heand I reconfirmed our deep bond the moment we met afew months later. When asked by an attendant if he knewwho I was, the young tulku replied, "Dont be stupid. Ofcourse I know who he is." Ever since, Rinpoche hastreated me as a close member of his spiritual household

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something that a four-year-old cannot fake. I, in turn,have had no doubts about our deep connection.

In the summer of 2001, I spent a month with Rinpoche inSouth India at his monastery, Ganden Jangtsey, where, atthe age of seventeen, he debated before the assembledmonks in a ceremony to mark his official entrance into theranks of scholars. During the month, I received teachingsfrom him on what he was studying in his Geshe training,and translated an oral transmission and explanation of atext that he gave to another close Western disciple of hispredecessor. When I remarked to Rinpoche how

wonderful it was to be translating for him once more, hereplied, "Of course, thats your karma." I also continuedthe informal process of giving back to him many pieces ofDharma and worldly advice he had given me in hisprevious life.

My personal relationship with Serkong Rinpoche overtwo lifetimes has given me more confidence in theDharma and in rebirth than I could possibly have gainedfrom study and meditation alone. It is truly a source ofcontinuing inspiration along the path. Neither he nor Ideceive ourselves about our roles toward each other ineach of his lives. We are neither totally the same nortotally different from who we were then. Each of us is acontinuity. With deep respect for each other, based on a

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realistic attitude about our different stages in life now andthen, each of us both teaches and learns comfortably fromthe other now. It feels totally natural.

As a fan of Star Trek, I view the experience as if I werepart of the crew in both the original series and in NextGeneration, under Captain Kirk then and now under hisreincarnation as Captain Picard still in training as a youngcadet. The main challenge I face is to continue buildingthe karma to serve on the crews of all future Enterprises.

Alexander Berzin, February 2002