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Ferdinand M. Salazar August 19, 2013

B.S. ECE 5A Engr. Alex Maureal

How to Win Friends and Influence People Part 2

Reflection

We, as human beings, are sociable in nature. Part of this innate

characteristic is our desire to feel important and be liked by the people that surround

us. But pleasing people is not that easy since each and every one is uniquely

different and this means that the approach required to make each of these persons

like us may vary. However, Dale Carnegie has come up with 6 principles to follow in

order to gain favor in the eyes of other people. These techniques can be applied in

general but still, it requires a different approach for every person. The effectiveness

of these principles is supported by the stories coming different individuals who have

been successful in making other people like them.

Principle 1

According to Carnegie, we can gain more friends in showing interestin other people rather than trying to make other people become interested in you.

Having been able to read the previous chapter of Carnegies book, I have learned

that nothing makes most people more interested than taking about themselves. This

principle, then, is the application of that knowledge. Knowing that people put

themselves as their top interest, we can make them like us by showing them that we

are also interested in them. What makes two people become friends is having a

common interest. If he/she is interested with himself/herself and you are also

interested in him/her then you have something in common. This, we can say, is the

logic behind the first principle.

Carnegie stresses out that we need to be genuinely interested in

people. Our interest must be for real. People can discern if it is real interest through

our actions. Genuine interest can make other feel good and this is how we will gain

true friendship. This will not only be beneficial to you but also to the person whom

you are interested with. If you do this, you will be welcome anywhere.

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Principle 2

This next principle does not require much from us. It is very simple yet

it can convey different kinds of positive messages. It warms the heart, eases the

mind and soothes the soul. It can lighten up other peoples mood and it can brighten

up your image. A smile; it is a very small gesture but does a tremendous effect.

The expression that a person wears has much more value than the

clothes he/she has put on. You may wear the most expensive and trendy clothes but

you will not be liked by other people if you project a sour face. You have to smile

because it reflects your mental attitude. It shows people that you are kind and easy

to get along with, hence, they will like you. A smile must be sincere, it must radiate

the joy and gladness from within. If the expression is but an insincere grin, people

will know it. Even when talking over the telephone, people will detect if whether or

not the person who is talking is smiling. A smile and a positive attitude is not only

seen but also felt.

A smile will not cost the giver anything, but it could mean so much to

the one who sees it.

Principle 3

No amount of sweet words could ever compare to the sound of your

very own name. Carnegie says that to a person, his/her own name is the most

pleasing sound that he/she could ever hear. That is why it is very important to

remember other peoples names. This technique might not sound very impressivebut it has undoubtedly made wonders for a lot of successful business men. Carnegie

has cited a number of examples wherein a leader, whether in a company or in

politics, has gained favor in the eyes of his/her subordinates by remembering each of

their names.

In history, people try to glorify their names by doing great things so that

they will not be forgotten. People pay so much, even fund an entire expedition, just

to have the honor of having a place named after them. This is the evidence that

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people value their names so much. Ones name is very precious to him/her because

it is a thing that he/she truly owns. No one can take it away from. It is his/her identity

and it is what makes a person unique. If you remember a persons name, it gives him

the sense of importance. The persons feels that his existence has been validated or

recognized by another. If you fail to remember others names, you are definitely

headed for trouble but doing otherwise will make them like you.

Principle 4

Most people like to talk, they want to be heard. They want to share

their experiences, state their opinions and relate stories. But most of all, they love to

talk about themselves. It has been repeatedly stated in the book that the most

interesting topic for people is about themselves. Carnegie states that one of the keys

to make people like you is to listen to them. Try to make a conversation which

encourages them to talk about themselves and then listen intently to what they have

to say. Do not talk too much about yourself because they are more interested in

themselves than in you. Listening to them makes them feel that you are interest in

you and you two will get along with each other very well. This is the secret to being a

good conversationalist. Also, make sure that you sincerely listen and remember the

important things that the other person has told you. Once he/she feels you are

interested in him/her, he/she will also be interested in you eventually.

Principle 5

Aside from talking about themselves, people also want to talk about

their interests. Therefore, we should find out what they want to talk about. We must

have knowledge about the things that the other persons is interested with. This way,

the conversation will not be boring. Both of you can share your insights and

information regarding the topic that he/she is very interested with. Both parties will

benefit in a smart and healthy conversation.

Principle 6

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The last principle is what we might say the gist of the previous

principles. It states that we should be genuinely interested in other people so that

they will like us. We must talk about them, appreciate their good qualities and their

interests. They must feel important and appreciated and in return they will like you.