Real Men Wear Hemp Boxer Shorts

8/15/2019 Real Men Wear Hemp Boxer Shorts

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Real Men Wear Hemp Boxer Shorts

I want you to stand up for your rights

A play by P amel a Ol son

Real Men Wear Hemp Boxer Shorts – A play by P a m e l a Ol son I want you to stand up for your rights

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When there’s a hemp plant in every yard . . .


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Copyright © 2010 by Pamela OlsonAll rights reserved. All wrongs revenged.

It’s a story.

Semblance to anyone is not intended nor should be inferred. Savvy, mate?

Doc Sererinsen's There Is A Girlhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MjG0S6dc-sY

A graduate of College of Marin then Sonoma State Unive rsity, in the middle of The American Wine Country, California USA,Planet Earth, Milky Way, Pamela Olson

is A Marin County Volunteer of the Year ,founding board member North Bay

Multimedia Association,

Home Designer, Raconteur, Gardener,

Time Traveler, Swimmer, Veteran,

Friend, Real Estate Authority, Ballroom

Dancer, Mama,

Color Junkie, Bon vivant, Professor,Author, Wife, and

Landlord Extraordinaire …

aka opinionated.

May all your storms be weathered,

and all that is good get better .


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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MjG0S6dc-sYhttp://www.sonoma.edu/http://www.sonoma.edu/http://www.sonoma-county.org/http://www.sonoma-county.org/http://www.cvnl.org/leadership/heart_marin_awards.htmlhttp://www.nbma.com/http://www.nbma.com/http://www.sonoma.edu/http://www.sonoma.edu/http://www.sonoma-county.org/http://www.sonoma-county.org/http://www.cvnl.org/leadership/heart_marin_awards.htmlhttp://www.nbma.com/http://www.nbma.com/http://www.nbma.com/http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MjG0S6dc-sY


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Cast

ALICE as played by Lucy Lawless

MARGA as played by Charlotte Rampling

CAROL as played by Kristin Davis

JAMES as played by Ryan Reynolds

TRACY as played by Barbara Hershey

MORGANA played by That Lady as played byRene Russo

CRAIG B as played by Robert Forster

JOE as played by Morgan Freeman


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‘25 Reasons to Legalize Drugs’ STEVEFRYE, MD as himself

BROO as played by Emile Hirsch

RENO BROO as played by Christina Ricci

LACY J. DALTON as herself

BANDKITTY

TIDE

Directed by POLLY FINDLAY

Tunes Lacy J. Dalton - The Pusher

Nina Simone – The Pusher @ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TQvNFS3URLQ

Blind Melon – The Pusher @ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JQUNigVcBB8

Hoyt Axton - The Pusher @ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wWrYrABuPtA

Steppenwolf – The Pusher @ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jMqVrUSz62o


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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TQvNFS3URLQhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JQUNigVcBB8http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wWrYrABuPtAhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wWrYrABuPtAhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jMqVrUSz62ohttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TQvNFS3URLQhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JQUNigVcBB8http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wWrYrABuPtAhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jMqVrUSz62o


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Character Descriptions Note: Actors chosen here are for among other reasons, their age,

height, voice, and body type, as each is specific-critical to eachcharacter’s portrayal.

JOE: an old reliable Charlie Wilson’s War work truck withnightmares, the real G.I. Joe. Overweight,losing hair, amiable, intelligent, methodical,lumbering painfully from old military woundswith still a healthy dose of his younger swagger, prone to bar fights, smoker, drinker, practical,seasoned, inventive to the core, treacherous, fullof quiet purpose, JOE is several times divorced,

a womanizer, apathetic to his children, fiercely patriotic, ballroom dance troller, wryly comic,and is deadly in some areas. He is a Viet Nam Army vet, 40-year lifer, retired E9, 100% disabled, although to the then world Joewas just an E4, simple, black and The Grease Monkey needed well everywhere. Joe isfrom a poor family in Biloxi, Mississippi where Joe grew uparound the Air Force base there. When drafted into theArmy, Joe earned an Associates Degree in Business whileworking as a heavy vehicle mechanic. Joe’s deceptivemanner covering still waters running deep came to the attention of higher upsin the chain of command when the Nam war ended and choices were made as

to what to keep, get rid of, and develop anew. Joe was wisely sent toIntelligence school and college for appropriately, a Masters in OrganizationalDevelopment, group behavior. He had the perfect Intel cover, heavy vehicle mechanic.Joe regularly has several weapons on him ranging from knife to guns, one with blanks, tomace to taser as well as a variety of cool spy toys. Joe resides in Point d’Ironie. He is a NOT MY PLANET SNL Junkie, a George Carlin Junkie, a R. Crumb Junkie, a RENOBROO Junkie, and a Mary Hartman Mary Hartman Junkie. Joe listens to Shirley Basseyand Gerald Wilson “Quirk with poignancy.” His favorite movies are 1970's Kelly'sHeroes' there's no booze, there's no broads, there's no action! And 1958's The YoungLions' [amused] Can I talk about what I did with your wife the last time I was in Berlin?Young Lions was and remains so much quirk it totally rearranged Joe's self-centered head

the first time he saw it. And it still does. Joe, equally charming, cruel and broken, is a sad bad man with a big-scarred heart, his shell-shocked sensibilities’ emotional instabilityonly held in check by training and his intellect. Joe is straight from Olympus. The troopsknow it. He is their talisman and they will follow him anywhere.


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MORGANA: Air Force veteran, Viet Nam Era,E3, Doctorate, former model, elegant, creativeintelligence, graceful, usually has smudges of

colorful paint somewhere on her, and her clothes that also have potholesin them, Catholic schooled,alert, proud, gleaming, everyinch a queen, esthete, gracious,

sardonic, swimmer, high-style, sentimental, charming, vivid,intoxicating. Drives a red kit 1954 Morgan, and is a falcon and bird of paradise both.

CRAIG: Navy Viet Nam vet, E4, Gary Cooper

High Noon charisma, plain, ordinary, practical,sometimes heroic, groovy stuff, arresting clarity

and compassion, mellow,austere, well-mannered, courtly, wears circa 1976 Levi 501 white bootcut, button fly jeans. No belt. Dark brown low heel Wellington boots--Dress shirt and double-vent sports coat. Concealed weapon permitwith three handguns on him; under arms, in boot, one also with blanks,taser in other boot, other weapons about him, sardonic, very familiar toothers, on the best of terms with everyone. Left wrist has that dead,absolutely hairless, waxed wrinkled puffiness of a bad flame-thrower

burn. Likes Country Western, Jazz and Classical music. An only child,

CRAIG was born in San Francisco in 1950, third-generation on hismother's side, second-generation on his father's side. CRAIG is adisabled Navy vet. He has Bachelors Degrees in Philosophy and Physicsfrom University of California, Berkeley. CRAIG is twice married to thesame woman. They had twins; CRAIG was not their father, whichCRAIG knew was a possibility. Their son Harry died in war. They nowhave two grandchildren from daughter Molly. CRAIG is a retiredSonoma County California Deputy Sheriff. His wife Molly is a retiredSanta Rosa, California math schoolteacher. Has great passion and fealty

to principle. CRAIG usually is working in something or another at University of Nevada,Reno although rumor has it he is now an under cover mortgage fraud and foreclosure

fraud ‘’Specialist.’ We’d heard he’s the one that investigates your claim. If valid, amongother methods only whispered that JOE is used for, money is emptied from the perp’saccount. CRAIG usually has a physics or philosophy book he’s reading he carries aroundwith him. He likes films das Boot, The Perfect Storm, Key Largo.


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CAROL: Navy veteran, retired Commander, Masters degree in South & Southeast AsianS tudies from U.C. Berkeley, blend of Little Nell and Lady McBeth, brass knuckles in a velvet glove, vitriol up a lace sleeve, martial arts

black belt, accomplished card counter and Blackjack player, Silver Level ballroom dancer , romantic. Her timing is always flawless. Has black humor, courage, nobility, honesty, and selflessness. Powerful,inspirational and unforgettable. Has the habit of of holding her drink inthe palm of her hand, Bracing, lively and full of certainty and power. Aflaming comet. JAMES is not her only lover, long or short-term. Deft,assertive.

JAMES: former Marine, just retired Major, a total “What would Samdo?” guy. Masters degree South & Southeast Asian Studies from U.C.

Berkeley, charismatic, sensuous, charming, fashionable, swaggers,Silver Level ballroom dancer , his timing is always flawless, dash andhonor, still gets fear shakes, romantic, puts duty, honor, and the people he commandsabove self-interest, graceful, eager, consummate political animal, brilliantly advances bymaking the right connections behind the lines and in corridors of power, always is pushing himself up and onward, believes his life is a well-charted avenue toward power and distinction; lives on the edge, lusty, irrepressible, well-mannered, courtly, King of Hearts, obsessed with dreams of High Adventure. Has martial arts black belt.Sometimes his eyes for a second glaze over like one hit by a round. Other times a burning desperate look floods them for a couple seconds. Other times he has a brief air of awkward diffidence that was not excessive modesty but naked fear. For he leaped

astride a tiger, and wasn't always sure where it would take him, or whether he even couldever dismount and return alive. Married to TRACY, and having long term now eight-year affair with CAROL. Listens to the Blues, Etta James, Billi e Holiday, Janis Joplin,Robert Cray, Chris Isaak , Gaye Adegbalola. Driven by his own war nightmares.Accomplished card counter and Blackjack player. Has the habit of of holding his drink inthe palm of his hand, been trying unsuccessfully for years to seduce ALICE.

“What would Sam do?” is from Anton Myrer's novel Once An Eagle published in 1968,at the height of the Vietnam War. It is a touchstone for the military professionals whodevise and carry out America’s defense. According to the New York Times, “Once AnEagle has worked its way over a generation into the mindset and lexicon of the American

military.” Named to the Marine Commandant’s Reading List, it is required reading for allmarines, is assigned to West Point cadets, and is featured in the United States Army War College’s annual leadership seminar. Soldiers emblazon the protagonist’s name–SamDamon–across their tanks, and military officers at every level make decisions by askingthemselves, “What would Sam do?”


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http://ls.berkeley.edu/dept/sseas/http://ls.berkeley.edu/dept/sseas/http://berkeley.edu/http://www.blackjackhero.com/blackjack/strategy/card-counting/revere-apc/http://www.dancevision.com/store/MARS05/http://www.dancevision.com/store/MARS05/http://warhistorian.org/wordpress/?p=643http://warhistorian.org/wordpress/?p=643http://ls.berkeley.edu/dept/sseas/http://berkeley.edu/http://berkeley.edu/http://berkeley.edu/http://www.dancevision.com/store/MARS05/http://www.dancevision.com/store/MARS05/http://www.blues.org/http://www.biography.com/articles/Etta-James-9542558http://www.billieholiday.com/http://www.officialjanis.com/http://www.robertcray.com/http://www.chrisisaak.com/http://www.chrisisaak.com/http://www.adegbalola.com/http://www.adegbalola.com/http://www.blackjackhero.com/blackjack/strategy/card-counting/revere-apc/http://www.once-an-eagle.com/http://ls.berkeley.edu/dept/sseas/http://ls.berkeley.edu/dept/sseas/http://ls.berkeley.edu/dept/sseas/http://berkeley.edu/http://www.blackjackhero.com/blackjack/strategy/card-counting/revere-apc/http://www.dancevision.com/store/MARS05/http://www.dancevision.com/store/MARS05/http://warhistorian.org/wordpress/?p=643http://warhistorian.org/wordpress/?p=643http://ls.berkeley.edu/dept/sseas/http://berkeley.edu/http://berkeley.edu/http://www.dancevision.com/store/MARS05/http://www.blues.org/http://www.biography.com/articles/Etta-James-9542558http://www.billieholiday.com/http://www.billieholiday.com/http://www.officialjanis.com/http://www.robertcray.com/http://www.chrisisaak.com/http://www.adegbalola.com/http://www.blackjackhero.com/blackjack/strategy/card-counting/revere-apc/http://www.once-an-eagle.com/


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MARGA: During the world wide Great Depression, MARGA was bornin Munich, Germany on December 3rd. The Munich Bavarian StateOperetta recognized early in MARGA’s childhood that she was a gifted

dancer. In just one year MARGA danced in more than 300 performancesof Johann Strauss’ “Die Fledermaus” (The Bat). That same year,Germany’s then Chancellor, Adolph Hitler, invaded Poland, draftedMARGA’s father into the German Army over her father’s futile protestations, and attended several of MARGA’s performances. MARGA’s

father died five months later in a Munich Army Hospital at the age of 39. He died never seeing his talented daughter’s performances. In January 1940 while dancing for AdolphHitler MARGA did not know then that in less then three years she would have anaccident completely severing her Achilles tendon. Never again could she stand on her toes. An American air raid on Munich later destroyed the Theater. MARGA married adisabled American WW II veteran. Now a widow, MARGA remains committed to

supporting American Veterans’ causes. MARGA is known for her thoughtfulness. She isa Silver ballroom dancer, polite, attentive. Her eyes flash like swords, her smile is graveand gentle.

TRACY: Catholic schooled including Bachelors degree in Art History from San Rafael, California D ominican University, former model,Silver Level ballroom dancer , heedless extravagance, reflective andirresponsible alike, impulsive, generous, not afraid to deal with thetender side of Marines who have not forgotten they are men, envious

of privilege and wealth.

LACY J. DALTON: Singer, songwriter, musician, celebrity, Virginia City, Nevada resident, activist, Time Traveler, actress, Gal Pal.

DR. STEVE: ‘25 Reasons to Legalize Drugs’ Steve Frye, MD, American physician, sailor, world traveler, skier, Army paratrooper veteran, Captain, piano player, who

knows how to pursue his owninterests while

acknowledging that we are allstewards of the publicinterest.


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http://ahss/art/arthistory.htmlhttp://www.dominican.edu/http://www.dominican.edu/http://www.dancevision.com/store/MARS05/http://www.dancevision.com/store/MARS05/http://ahss/art/arthistory.htmlhttp://www.dominican.edu/http://www.dominican.edu/http://www.dancevision.com/store/MARS05/


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BROO: Amorphous, varied in tastes and interests, creator, consumer, umbrella. To thetune of California Dreamin’ and with all respect to Mamas & Papas,here it's to Jose Feliciano http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jq7aSC-

ezBk . All the views are down and the drone is bait I've been for a look.At broo ha ha hey. I'd be drunk and warm if I had the bar’s keysConspiracy Dreamin’ --At broo ha ha hey. Stopped into a bar I passedalong the way well, I got down on my knees just to face the day. Youknow El G likes the bold El knows I’m gonna stay. ConspiracyDreamin' at broo ha ha hey --All the views are down and the drone is bait I've been for a look. At broo ha ha hey. if I didn't drink here I couldleave today --Conspiracy Dreamin' --at broo ha ha hey.

SettingSAUSALITO HOUSEBOAT FOUNTAINEAD: ALICE'S home, a swanky, swelegant,richly colorful, burgundy, robin’s egg blue, evergreen, plum, ink blue, merlot, bering sea blue, contrasts of dim, dark and saturated color, intimate, romantic, upscale, classy, 30s,elegantly eccentric, comfortable, textured, black lacquer cabinets, and well appointedwith Found, houseboat moored at Sausalito Shipyard & Marina formally Arques Shipyard& Marina. 2350 Marinship Way (access on Road 3) Sausalito, CA 94965. Phone: (415)332-3552. Harbormaster @SausalitoShipyard.com. The feel is a pleasing mixture of Tahoe, Sante Fe, a Frank Lloyd Wright Prairie House, Mediterranean, Paris countryside,Florentine, Carmel, Italian hospitality, Japanese manners, Rat Pack banter, razor-sharp

Beat intellect, and San Francisco Painted Lady. The overlay is all Frank Miller , SkyCaptain of The World of Tomorrow, Norman BelGeddes, and Tim Burton. The feel is of a delightful,decadent, Sybaritic way of life with soft, warm placesto curl up, alone or incompany for swell gossip.The air smells of peppermint, spearmint,

chocolate mint, cloves,nutmeg, cinnamon,rosemary, salt, and iodine.‘Snow’ ‘falls’ through thestage lights giving morespatiality and dimension tothe set. On set always are a


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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jq7aSC-ezBkhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jq7aSC-ezBkmailto:[email protected]://www.imdb.com/name/nm0588340/http://www.skycaptain.com/http://www.skycaptain.com/http://www.skycaptain.com/http://designhistorylab.com/students/dickens/?p=724http://designhistorylab.com/students/dickens/?p=724http://designhistorylab.com/students/dickens/?p=724http://www.timburton.com/http://www.timburton.com/http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jq7aSC-ezBkhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jq7aSC-ezBkmailto:[email protected]://www.imdb.com/name/nm0588340/http://www.skycaptain.com/http://www.skycaptain.com/http://www.skycaptain.com/http://www.skycaptain.com/http://www.skycaptain.com/http://designhistorylab.com/students/dickens/?p=724http://designhistorylab.com/students/dickens/?p=724http://designhistorylab.com/students/dickens/?p=724http://www.timburton.com/


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female orange tabby cat named BandKitty and a female Golden Retriever named Tidethat are always interacting.

During World War II, the Marinship yards used the Sausalito, California waterfront. After

World War II, C.L. Arques bought five ferryboats and had them placed in RichardsonBay. The Vallejo and the City of Seattle were remodeled into cool homes. The City of SanRafael was eventually also used as a home, although only its upper deck was used.Another ferryboat ended in Sausalito. She was the Charles Van Damme. Her tenant for many years was a business called The Ark.

PacingSlow, languid, undulates, jiggles, long beats of silence with body

language, costumes, music, and eyes telling the story, ebbs andflows, lazy backwaters, deliberate, savored, everything's sipped notchugged, drawn out, nuances, sway, trances, thoughtful, all the time

in the world, rhythmic.

Opening: (House LIGHTS still up begin voice only Lacy J. Daltonsinging The Pusher while audience seats themselves. At end of tunehouse LIGHTS dim, start MUSIC Nina Simone – The Pusher @http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TQvNFS3URLQ, halfway through the tune theCURTAIN opens. On set: JOE, CRAIG, LACY J. DALTON, JAMES, DR. STEVE,TRACY, MORGANA, CAROL, MARGA, RENO BROO, BROO,

and ALICE at tables of various types; kitchen table, coffee table, bar countertop, tv tray, dining room table, patio table. To mimic anotebook’s illumination, each one has his or her spotlight shiningup from under each glass tabletop. All costumes are sexy, sensual,

elegant, and classic, color saturated, textured, layered.Everyone is invisibly plugged in with his or her belovedubiquitous wireless. There is subtle movementeverywhere. ‘Snow’ ‘falls’ through the stage lights giving more spatiality anddimension to the set. People are up down, back and forth; moving around is adistributed fashion. There is a feeling of a lot of unseen activity going on.

LARGE SCREEN cartoon slide begins with red, white and blue hemp leaf. Cartoon

image slides continue throughout play. The houseboat is always moving which is seenthrough its windows and the characters’ movements. JOE and RENO BROO sit at thehouseboat's bar. ALICE, LACY J. DALTON, JAMES, DR. STEVE, and TRACY sit at a black lacquer dining room table. CAROL and MARGA sit on a settee with a glass topcoffee table in front. BROO sits with a tv tray. CRAIG and MORGANA sit at a patiotable on the deck.


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http://ludb.clui.org/ex/i/CA3476/http://ludb.clui.org/ex/i/CA3476/http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TQvNFS3URLQhttp://ludb.clui.org/ex/i/CA3476/http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TQvNFS3URLQ


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(RENO BROO sits on the bar stool pushed away back from the black lacquer bar. Thehouseboat coolly breathes wealth, sensuous fun, elegance, permanence, grace -the good

life. RENO BROO has her hands locked around her knees while she looks around, shesways easily with the motion of the houseboat. BANDKITTY is curled up on the bar infront of RENO BROO, TIDE is at RENO BROO's feet, RENO BROO petsBANDKITTY –RENO BROO then pets TIDE. BANDKITTY stands up, says “waarrrh”and moves to the floor where she stropps JOE's shins vigorously back and forth a half-dozen or so times before moving to LACY J. DALTON's shins. RENO BROO picks upher ice tea from the bar, drinks, then holds it in the palm of his hand.)

Real men wear hemp boxer shorts.

DR. STEVE

(from dining room table)

I resemble that. My goal now as a medicaldoctor is to change all drug policy to regulate,control and tax drugs, as they have done withsuch great achievements in the Netherlands andPortugal.

(Begin LARGE SCREEN cartoon slide of ‘This is your brain’)

CRAIG as played by Robert Forster

(he shifts himself on the outside patio chair, TIDE trots up the stairs to to the deck andover to check, CRAIG pets TIDE while he sways easily with the motion of thehouseboat. CRAIG then rubs his his left wrist with its dead, absolutely hairless, waxedwrinkled puffiness of a bad flame-thrower burn. From the houseboat's open screenedwindows the sounds of the channel, the Sausalito harbor and the San Francisco Bay reachin. Gulls scream, boats' air horns pierce the air, people's voices rise and fall, fog horns blast throatily, the lap and slap of the waves against the houseboat, an occasional dog bark, are all intermittent. Shadows dance gracefully on the blue walls of the houseboat.The smells of salt, iodine, charcoal, diesel, and marijuana waft though the houseboat.

The curtains ripple against the blue walls. CRAIG sits across the dark walnut patio deck table from MORGANA, who sways easily with the houseboat.)


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Groovy. Put that in your pipe and smoke it.

JOE as played by Morgan

Freeman

(He stands up, sways easilywith the motion of thehouseboat, then moves to thehouseboat's window in anindolent swagger of the professional soldier in an any place, any time. A boat goes by,its diesel engines chug. JOE's face is very hard and plain, all ridges. JOE shifts hisweight on his feet with the movement of the San Francisco Bay, then he murmurs sly.)

Why is the roach clip called a roach clip?

LACY J. DALTON


Because potholder was taken.

MORGANA as played by Rene Russo

(BANDKITTY moves over to MORGANA where BANDKITTYlevitates up to MORGANA's lap, puts her forelegs onMORGANA's chest, and demands pets, right now and no nonsensewith a “naaoww!” TIDE trots over making the same 'pet me' demand on MORGANA.MORGANA pets BANDKITTY then TIDE. BANDKITTY rhythmically stretches out onthe dark walnut table in front of MORGANA, an orange spot BANDKITTY relaxes her forepaws and sings a low song sounding bees buzzing in deep clover, her eyes narrow incontentment. MORGANA sways easily with the motion of the houseboat as she thensighs, then smiles and laughs while she murmurs to BANKITTY, then puts her ice teaglass in the palm of her hand, pauses to pet TIDE who's now sitting on MORGANA'shigh-heeled clad feet, MORGANA sips her tea, then puts the glass back into the palm of

her hand.)

I was 17 years old when I enlisted in the UnitedStates Air Force. 17 years old is young andstupid. My First Sergeant turned me on to everydrug then, courtesy of our Captain. I then bought land in a state where marijane is legal


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and I leased out to a marijane farmer. We wereall so scared the base psychiatrist had us on avariety of pharmaceuticals, including marijane.A man on marijane is lovely while a man on

alcohol is well, useless.

(Begin LARGE SCREEN cartoon slide of ‘Hemp’s circle of life’)

DR. STEVE


Let the games begin. The Right HonorableGentlewoman Sarah Palin is indebted to her memory for her taunts, and to her imagination

for her facts.

(Begin LARGE SCREEN cartoon slide of ‘Legalize weed’)


(from patio table )

What do you call it when a roach ash burns your shirt?


(JOE swaggers over to the settee where hesprawls out on it. BANDKITTY and TIDEmove to JOE. BANDKITTY says “kwleert ', jumps up and sits down on JOE's lap andstarts to wash herself. JOE pets BANDKITYand TIDE.)

A pothole. Sass the brass. Who the hell are theSarahPalins to judge people, anyway? Have any

of them been such a five-alarm-saint?


(sways easily with the motion of the houseboat; his ice tea glass held in the palm of hishand, he sips his tea, then puts the glass back into the palm of his hand,)


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There is less to the SarahPalins than meets theeye.

DR. STEVE

(sways easily with the motion of the houseboat; from dining room table) )

Marijuana is the most mellowing drug out there.We should be issuing it to prisoners, as it keepsviolence down to virtually none. As I researchedAmerica’s drug policy for my radio talk show, I became amazed with what a devastating anddeadly catastrophe drug prohibition is. I had towrite this book -- the policy now is so racist andlethal.


(from patio table )

Based on everything Christianity has told meabout Christ, I just don’t see how the guy theyconsistently describe could ever support anygroup whose symbol is a man nailed to two pieces of wood. Eh?

(Begin LARGE SCREEN cartoon slide of ‘Cops say legalize drugs’) MARGA as played by Charlotte Rampling

(from sofa)

What do you get when you eat marijuana?



A potbelly. Our tactics must match our antagonist. The SarahPalins are best walked ona leash. Their ignorance makes me sick.


(sways easily with the motion of the houseboat; from sofa)


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Then be sick, darling, but not on the rug. TheSarahPalins go the way that Providence dictateswith the assurance of a sleepwalker. What is

Reality?


(sways easily with the motion of the houseboat, her ice tea glass held inthe palm of her hand, she sips her tea, then puts the glass back into the palm of her hand,she turns and watches out the window as the bay swirls through the pilings where shesees seal's heads bob in the swells. She turns to look at JOE then JAMES. Her eyesflicker with wickedness. She then shivers as she speaks with snark)

Reality is real men wear hemp boxer shorts.

(Begin LARGE SCREEN cartoon slide of ‘hemp’)



Reality is illusion caused by a lack of goodweed.

(dry)

Grasping facts is a gracious practice.Grasp the subject SarahPalins. Thedrug legalization words will follow.

(Begin LARGE SCREEN cartoon slideof ‘The drug war is bad’) TRACY as played by Barbara Hershey

(TRACY sits at the table and sways easily with the motion of the houseboat, TRACY

pets BANDKITTY who gives a long bubbling 'bleerrrt ', then BANDKITTY bopsTRACY when TRACY reaches down to pet TIDE while TRACY looks around and thenshe pets BANDKITTY who gives another long bubbling 'bleerrrt '. TRACY's eyes snapwith enthusiasm, she is slender, younger looking than her age and vibrant. TRACY runsher fingers over her chest and throat.)



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DR. STEVE


The misnamed and failed American War onDrugs is a 75-year illusion as it has been acatastrophic failure in every arena. In 75 yearsthe American War on Drugs has killed a millionAmerican citizens, more than all its other warscombined and far more people than drugs kill.And with 5,000 Mexicans killed in 2008 alone,America now exports murder.


(BANDKITTY moves to ALICE, who pets BANDKITTY, who says 'krrwarr '. ALICEscratches BANDKITTY under the chin, doing it properly. BANDKITTY accepts it,stretches her neck and closes her eyes, looks very pleased. ALICE smiles.)

At a stoplight what is the difference between adrunken guy and a stoner?


(restless, moves from window to window to window, sways easily

with the motion of the houseboat, pets TIDE, turns, his faceexpressionless, peers direct at TRACY, pause, stands at a windowof the houseboat. He sways easily with themotion of the houseboat, his ice tea glass heldin the palm of his hand, passes his hand over hischin, pauses, then speaks in a measured cadenceto the others)

The drunken guy runs the stoplight and thestoner waits for it to turn green. I haveexplored tributaries to the river of events.

My exposes are stepping stones out intomuddied, often very deep, water, completewith rough edges and breaking waves. Asany bureaucrat, lawyer, politician, corporatist,and judge know, sometimes the truth iscomplicated. Deftly handled, stories and talescan become tools or weapons while facts are


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just . . . facts. The SarahPalins’ are just tooignorant to grasp facts.

(Begin LARGE SCREEN cartoon slide of ‘Portugal’)

DR. STEVE


Fact is marijuana is the most mellowing drugout there. We should be issuing it to prisoners,as it keeps violence down to virtually none. TheU.S. has five per cent of the world’s population but now uses 60 per cent of the world’s drugs.


(from patio table )

Game indeed. Move along. The poor SarahPalins --They can’t help it --they were born with a loaded assault gun in their mouths.SarahPalins are sport. In America, it is sportthat is the drug of choice for the masses. Sportsdo not build character. They reveal it.

DR STEVE


There has never been a single medicallyrecorded death from pot alone. In fact, the onlyway you can die from it is to get arrested andget killed in jail, where one-third of prisonersare dead by age 45.


(stands, stretches, sways easily with the motion of the houseboat; his ice tea glass held inthe palm of his hand, he lifts it to sip his tea, then puts the glass back into the palm of hishand, he is cynic, sardonic, alert, measuring, intense, he speaks with relish)

The SarahPalins’ insanity, on occasion, are notwithout their ah slutty charms.


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(Begin LARGE SCREEN cartoon slide of ‘Hemp bio-fuel’)


(sways easily with the motion of the houseboat; in voice of maturity, wisdom, experience; from the dining room table)

Say what you will about the ‘sweet miracle’ of The SarahPalins’ unquestioning faith andoverbearing elitism, I consider their capacity for both terrifying and absolutely vile. The twomost elite religions today are Christianity andIslam.

(Begin LARGE SCREEN cartoon slide of ‘Big Headed’)

DR. STEVE


Judge James Gray wrote in his outstanding book, “Why Our Drug Laws Have Failed” aboutthe devastation wrought by a war he witnessedfrom the frontlines as a trial judge and federal prosecutor in detail. Marijuana is much safer

than alcohol or even the most abused drug,caffeine. It’s the safest recreational, OTC or RXdrug in history. There has never been a singlemedically recorded death from pot alone. Infact, the only way you can die from it is to getarrested and get killed in jail, where one-third of prisoners are dead by age 45.


(holds her ice tea drink in the palm of her hand, sways easily with the motion of the

houseboat, pets TIDE, she speaks dry)



(pause, he stretches his arms and legs out, eyes RENO BROO, laughs, he sways easilywith the motion of the houseboat, his ice tea glass held in the palm of his hand, he pets


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BANDKITTY, then he murmurs)

What's the difference between a stoner and atweeker?

(Begin LARGE SCREEN cartoon slide of ‘Effects’)


(from sofa)

One difference is when a potheadis driving down a road he isdriving about 20 mph in a 30 mphzone with a hard on and eating

potato chips. When a tweeker isdriving down a road marked 30mph he is driving about 200 mph,impotent and yelling at invisible potato chips.

(Begin LARGE SCREEN cartoon slide of ‘War on drugs’)

DR. STEVE

(sways easily with the motion of the houseboat; from

the dining room table)

America has the highest incarceration rate in theworld with more prisoners than China or India.U.S. prisons kill one-third of prisoners by age45 and two-thirds are rearrested within threeyears, meaning at best they rehabilitate onlyone-third. They are thus a total deadly failure asex-felons can rarely get work other than dealingdrugs, so America’s drug policy actuallyincreases the drug epidemic.



Now I pass out into sleep. I pray the Lord mysoul to keep. Grant no tweeker take my weedand vaporizer before I wake.


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(through the windows of the houseboat she watches seagulls as they drove down from the

fog bank and sky in wild abandon into waves and waves of swells and wonders, oneseagull did a silly, pirouetting skittering dance as it came in for a landing on thehouseboat where it eyes CAROL through the window screen, the sounds of the SanFrancisco Bay slither, slap, pop, and snap by the screened open windows. CAROL turnsher head to look at DR. STEVE as she sways easily with the motion of the houseboat, her face expressionless, pause, then she murmurs with calm deliberation.)

The weed that pleases.

(Begin LARGE SCREEN cartoon slide of ‘Jeremy Mayfield’)

DR. STEVE

(sways easily with the motion of thehouseboat, sniffs the smell of the charcoal,says matter-of-fact)

It’s propaganda that “We wage this war to protect our children.” The devastating anddeadly facts are: 1. America has deprivedmillions of its children and teenagers of their incarcerated parent(s). 2. Americans

kids placed in foster care have four timesthe death rate of those left with their parents. 3.The American “drug war” has created anobscene teenage murder rate that’s nineteentimes higher than in the Netherlands wheredrugs are legally available. 4. America hasturned a million of its teens into drug dealersand has four times the death rate of prisoners onTexas’ death row. 5. Only 50 percent of highschool students graduate in America’s ten biggest cities and only 40 per cent graduate in

NYC, Baltimore and Detroit. In the Netherlandswhere drugs are regulated, controlled and taxed,92 per cent graduate; that’s No Child LeftBehind!

(Begin LARGE SCREEN cartoon slide of ‘Boxer rears’)


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(imperious, crisp and vivacious against the blue wall, MARGA sits at the black lacquer table. She sways easily with the motion of the houseboat, her ice tea glass held in the

palm of her hand, she sighs, a ship's diesel engine starts up –a series of swift chuff, chug,chuf, chug, chuf, chug bursts; MARGA turns to look out the window, its curtains move,abruptly the engine stops; other sounds now are heard; the slap and lap of waves againstthe houseboat's floats and the dock's pylons, gulls calling out, and people's voices andlaughter, the diesel engine starts up again chuff, chug, chuf, chug, chuf, chug then settledown. The smell of diesel, salt, charcoal, marijuana, and iodine are in the air as the shipmoves into the Sausalito channel and away towards San Francisco. MARGA speaks witha combination of force and tact.)

What's the difference between a stoner boyfriend and a stoner husband?

LACY J. DALTON


About three inches around the waist.

JOE, CRAIG, LACY J. DALTON,JAMES, DR. STEVE, TRACY,

MORGANA, CAROL, MARGA, RENOBROO, BROO, and ALICE

(sardonic laughter)

DR. STEVE


Marijuana is the most mellowing drug out there.This failed War on Drugs is also Racism WorseThan Slavery ever was. Whites commit thecrime (87% of the drug users), while blacks do

the time (74% go to prison). 2. This war hasdone much more harm to black families thanslavery ever did. 3. America’s African-Americanincarceration rates are atrocious and prisonsactually rehabilitate / kill about the samenumber. 4. America’s major cities have drug-war created ghettos, while there is not one


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ghetto in the Netherlands.

(Begin LARGE SCREEN cartoon slide of ‘Stop the drug war’)


(she shivers, then her manner crisp andvivacious, ALICE speaks in a voice of maturity, wisdom and experience as shesways easily with the motion of thehouseboat)

What is a Stoner's Favorite kindaCar?


(he stands. He continues to speak as he swaggers up the stairs to the deck, now looks wryover his shoulder, sways easily with the motion of the houseboat)

A Blazer.

JOE, CRAIG, LACY J. DALTON, JAMES, DR. STEVE, TRACY, MORGANA,CAROL, MARGA, RENO BROO, BROO, and ALICE

(sardonic laughter)

(Begin LARGE SCREEN cartoon slide of ‘LEAP’)

DR. STEVE


This failed war destroys the environment andincreases global warming. 1. It has contributedto the deforestation of South American rainforests equivalent to the acreage of four U.S.

states, while dangerouslyadding hundreds of tons of toxic chemicals to theenvironment. 2. It hasincreased global warmingdirectly by this horrendous deforestation, andindirectly, as America is the only industrialized


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nation in the world prevented from using thevery ecologically friendly hemp for paper, woodand hemp fuel, which could dramatically reduceits dependence on foreign oil.


(from sofa)

What’s going on with a stoner when they have short-termmemory loss?


(from the dining room table)

Potheimers.

JOE, CRAIG, LACY J. DALTON,JAMES, DR. STEVE, TRACY,

MORGANA, CAROL, MARGA, RENO BROO, BROO, and ALICE

(sardonic laughter)

(Begin LARGE SCREEN cartoon slide of ‘Drip & Drop’)

DR. STEVE


Narco-terrorism: America’s drug war fundsterrorists! It’s totally immoral for America towage a war on terrorists and kill innocent Iraqiwomen and children, while at the same timefunding terrorists with drug cartel profits.


(sways easily with the motion of the houseboat; from the bar)

What did the stoner's wife say to him before heleft for active duty?


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(Begin LARGE SCREEN cartoon slide of ‘In weed we trust’)


(from sofa)

Doobie careful.

DR STEVE


There has never been a single medicallyrecorded death from pot alone.


(from the bar)

Real careful men wear hemp boxer shorts.

(Begin LARGE SCREEN cartoon slide of ‘Real careful men wear boxer shorts’) JOE, CRAIG, LACY J. DALTON, JAMES, DR. STEVE, TRACY,

MORGANA, CAROL, MARGA, RENO BROO, BROO, and

ALICE

(sardonic laughter)


These incorrect behaviors of the SarahPalins itis well known are most difficult to eradicatefrom the heart whose soil has never beenloosened or fertilized by education.

DR. STEVE


The failed drug war is the greatest corruption inthe history of the U.S. It has caused morecorruption of citizens, policemen, judges, etc.


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than anything else in America’s history and hasalso resulted in the trampling of the U.S.constitution. This corruption has now becomeinternational.

BROO as played Emile Hirsch

(sways easily with the motion of the houseboat, from atv tray)

What did the paper say to the weed right beforethey left?

(Begin LARGE SCREEN cartoon slide of ‘The manthe legend’)


(from sofa)

Let's roll. I see pop culture breeds prohibition.Typically, once overwhelmed by disinterest or their own inevitable idiocy, the SarahPalins dropcommunity and business and legal and patriotism issues from their important stuff radar and move on to things they understand: like

fried chicken, white paint and Dancing With theStars.


(sardonic laughter)

DR. STEVE


Marijuana is the most mellowing drug out there.The Netherlands absolutely has the answer. 1.America has six times the Netherlandsincarceration rate and still has four times their murder rate. 2. By making all drugs legallyaccessible with treatment available for anyone


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that wants it, the Netherlands has America’sone-fifth its hard drug use and half its marijuanause, which really makes no difference as no onedies from marijuana. 3. They provide extensive

treatment, the only thing that has ever proven toreduce drug use and demand.

(Begin LARGE SCREEN cartoon slide of ‘Modern uses’)


(sways easily with the houseboat; from sofa)

How do you get the attention of a stoned groupon horseback?

LACY J. DALTON

(sways easily with the motion of the houseboat, from a dining roomtable)

Turn off the carousel.


(sardonic laughter)

DR STEVE


There has never been a single medicallyrecorded death from pot alone.


(sways easily with the motion of the houseboat)

Hip men wear hemp boxer shorts.



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(from sofa)

A SarahPalin was talking about the sign at theMill Valley Public Library that said 'THE

COMPLICATED FUTILITY OFIGNORANCE.' 'All I know was that I don'twant my daughter or anybody's child to see amessage that negative every time she comes intothe library,' this SarahPalin said. 'And then Ifound out it was Kathy King who wasresponsible for it.' 'What's so negative about it?'Kathy King said. 'What could be a morenegative word than "futility"?' the SarahPalinsaid. 'Ignorance,"' Kathy King said.


Amen.


(from sofa)

The SarahPalins are all false and hollow. Their tongues try to make the worse appear the better reason.

DR. STEVE


Those sort of incorrect behaviors are whyeconomically drug prohibition is such an ugly picture. 1. America squanders $70 billion on thiswar annually and this would pay for half ahealth plan. 2. America also loses the taxrevenue from drugs and marijuana is the biggest

cash crop in both the U.S. and Canada.


(innocent smile; from the bar)

You did ask for the truth, and you got it for


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http://www.millvalleylibrary.org/index.aspx?page=10http://www.zoominfo.com/p/Kathy-King/31796649http://www.millvalleylibrary.org/index.aspx?page=10http://www.zoominfo.com/p/Kathy-King/31796649


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than for purposes of seduction.

(Start MUSIC Blind Melon – The Pusher @ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JQUNigVcBB8)

(Begin LARGE SCREEN cartoon slide of ‘American drug war’)


(from the bar to BROO,with snark)

Broo, unlike theSarahPalins, I only

attempt to rule theworld on my days off.

(sways easily with the motion of the houseboat; to TRACY)

Tracy, in individuals, insanity is rare; but ingroups, parties, nations and epochs, it is the rule.

(Begin LARGE SCREEN cartoon slide of ‘Drug war myth#726,802’)

DR. STEVE


When my theory of drug legalization is provencorrect, America will claim me as an Americanand the Netherlands will declare that I am acitizen of the world. Should my theory proveuntrue, which it won’t, the world will say I aman American and America will say I’m in the Netherlands.


Bravo Dr. Steve. Which side do you cheer for?Do you cheer looking back to where you camefrom? Do you cheer for where you are? Do youcheer for where you are going?


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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JQUNigVcBB8http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JQUNigVcBB8http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JQUNigVcBB8http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JQUNigVcBB8


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DR. STEVE


I’m on the side of drug legalization becausedrug legalization is the truth.

(Begin LARGE SCREEN cartoon slide of ‘Drug war nonsense’)


(dry from the bar)

When legalizing, always cheer, never insult

more than six men when all you have is a six-shooter.

LACY J. DALTON

(sways easily with the motion of the houseboat; from the diningroom table)

Sometimes you just need someone ’pon whomyou can depend. You recognize a true friend byhow he lies to you. Even a purely moral act that

has no hope of any immediate and visible political effect can gradually and indirectly over time, gain in political significance.


Oh High Sierra Reno, what makes you sofeisty?


(sways easily with the the motion of the houseboat; fromthe bar)

Because when a man doesn't wear hemp boxer shorts and when you're as small as I am andfemale, if you don't stand up for your rights,you're sure to be pushed around by big, hairy,smelly men named something like Steve or John


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or El or Tony with delusions about malesuperiority.

JOE as played by Morgan Freeeman

(voice of maturity, wisdom, experience from the bar)

What is objectionable, what is dangerous aboutextremists such as The SarahPalins, is not thatthey are extreme, but that they are intolerant.Hey Reno.

(Begin LARGE SCREEN cartoon slide of ‘Murdered mayors’)


(from the bar)

I'm now taking a bath. Call me later.


Groovy, I'm relieved. Reno’s simple self-centered selfishness has been a haven of stability in an ever-changing world.


(from the bar)

Why I keep the righteous oath better than any of those SarahPalins so never mind thecompliments Deputy, you still owe me threemore stories.


(sways easily with the motion of the houseboat; from the dining room table)

You mean 'Hippocratic.

(Begin LARGE SCREEN cartoon slide of ‘Real men wear boxer shorts’)



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and/or owner’s names and locations.


(sways easily with the motion of the houseboat, takes a deep breath, speaks good-humored, interlaces with dry)

It’s discoveries and revelations.


Like to avoid prohibition.


(from the bar)

It’s illuminations and intuitions.

(Begin LARGE SCREEN cartoon slide of ‘hemp’)


(sways easily with the motion of the houseboat, from the patio table)

How are you Winter Soldiers and Hippies

doing?


(pause, sways easily with the motion of the houseboat, smirks, banters with)

Aging is a definite reason for using marijaneover bourbon.


(takes a hit off a Vapolution, passes it to JOE)

I cover both bases.

(with snark)


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a veteran?


(sways easily with the motion of the houseboat, speaks flat, her voice heavy with irony asshe smiles to her husband JAMES at the dining room table)

A friend with weed …


(stands and sways easily with the motion of the houseboat, stiffens and stares knowingly,raises his hand and swings it across his body in a long, sweeping gesture, intimate as he brushes his crotch, pause, a dog barks a couple times then a woman's voice calls out withlaughter “Rick, Rick boy, come here,” pause, the woman's voice is fainter as she moves

down the dock, “attaboy Rick.” JAMES speaks flat, taut, controlled, seductively.)

Is a friend indeed --If you will indulge me; wantto get friendly with a veteran AgenteAmoureuse?

(kisses wife TRACY)

Start MUSIC tune Hoyt Axton - The Pusher @ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wWrYrABuPtA Two beats, CURTAIN down. Two beats.


Spot LIGHT opens up on with large joint in hand BROO pulls the side CURTAIN back,two beats, says slowly to audience)

If a veteran with multiple personalities tries tocommit suicide, do the police consider it ahostage situation?

(on skateboard BROO glides slowly across stage and then exits behind other side curtain.Two beats.)

DR. STEVE

(from one side of stage steps out from curtain into spot LIGHT and moves slowly to other side while saying to audience)

Yes --if there’s a doctor around making those


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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wWrYrABuPtAhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wWrYrABuPtAhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wWrYrABuPtAhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wWrYrABuPtAhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wWrYrABuPtA


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sort of medical determinations.

(two beats)

No --if law and law enforcement continues to practice medicine without a medical license.Let’s DO IT! Let’s legalize drugs right nowright here.

(two beats)

Drug legalization is a medical issue, not a legal,law enforcement or political issue.

(two beats)

The AMA supports drug legalization. As amedical doctor I support drug legalization.

(two beats, begin LARGE SCREEN cartoon slide of ‘red, white, blue hemp leaf’)

We doctors work our side of the street, and weexpect legal, law and politics, among others, toonly work their side of the street.

(two beats)

And we need you to stand up for your rights andlegalize drugs now.

(two beats)

The war is with the dealer not the drugs or users.

(two beats)

And Dear Drug Dealers: We have found a better use for hemp.


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Large IMAGE appears on back curtain of a hemp hanging rope. Start MUSIC tuneSteppenwolf - The Pusher @http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jMqVrUSz62o, lost in his or her own thoughts,

everyone remains casually and silently in placethrough tune. End MUSIC. CURTAIN slowlycloses, same IMAGE on curtain. Out fromcurtain steps Lacy J. Dalton who sings ThePusher. The End.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jMqVrUSz62ohttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jMqVrUSz62ohttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jMqVrUSz62ohttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jMqVrUSz62o

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