Real Magazine Vol.1/No.1

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Vol. 1/No. #1 Cover photo credit: berniesanders.com r e a l

description

A satirical magazine aimed at clever adolescents who know quite a bit about today's society. Created by a 12-year-old boy.

Transcript of Real Magazine Vol.1/No.1

Page 1: Real Magazine Vol.1/No.1

Vol. 1/No. #1 Cover photo credit: berniesanders.com

r e a l

Page 2: Real Magazine Vol.1/No.1

Contents Page three: Bernie Sanders 2K16 Page four: Why is Drake so popular? Page five: Hot/not, crossword Page six: Billboard top 15 pop songs

en.wikipedia.com, thefader.com

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Don’t Stop Believing Bernie Sanders 2K16

IT KILLS me to say this, because I wanted Bernie Sanders to win over Hillary, yes, I am a democrat, but Bernie, you’re gonna lose. Despite the odds that he wins democratic representative, he is not giving up. It reminds me of the movie “ Die Hard ,” starring Bruce Willis, but the only difference is that John McClane actually did defeat the villain. I read a political comic the other day in The Chicago Tribune and it was printed after the Golden State Warriors won game seven of the conference finals against the Oklahoma City Thunder. Hillary Clinton was dribbling around a basketball while explaining to readers why she compares herself to the Golden State Warriors, because both the Warriors and Hillary had odds for them to win. The only difference, she explained, is that the Oklahoma City Thunder admit that they lost. Despite 

Being a Bernie fan, I thought it was hilarious and I showed it to my mom and dad, who shared the same thoughts with me about it. My friends always say that Bernie Sanders is in favor of old people rather than young or mid-aged people. Bernie is probably just sticking up for his friends at aqua aerobics. Also, Easy-Cheese toupée guy Donald Trump has taken the precaution of attempting to get more fans by saying at a press conference, something like, “Hey, Sanders is gonna lose, come to me, we welcome you with open arms, I’m gonna win.” For other people who have been following the election with close scrutiny, where have we heard “we welcome you with open arms” before? Answer: Ted Cruz. Donald Trump is taking other republican ex-candidate’s ideas. We must put a stop to this. Vote for Hillary. I was not paid to say that.  

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The Question: Why is Drake so popular?

I PREACH the popular YouTuber Alphacat (a.k.a Iman Crosson,) on this one. He made a parody of popular Drake song “ Hotline Bling ,” often made fun of for Drake’s absolutely terrible dance moves, singing “I wrote a song about a cell phone...Just to prove I can’t mess up.” Sadly, this is true. Every single Drake song is popular and nobody knows why. In the song “ Jumpman, ” he sings like a dying goat who can only say, “Jamman, jamman, jamman, he juss spent like two o three weekz out ta country.” If you want an actually good rapper who actually raps about stuff that is worth rapping about, listen to Kendrick Lamar. It’s some really good stuff. Drake shouldn’t even be considered a rapper. For example, “ One Dance .” That is a really catchy song, but if you consider it a rap song, you mine as well consider Frank Sinatra a rapper, and for those of you  

Who don’t know who Sinatra is, type in “ You Make Me Feel So Young ” on YouTube. But we go back to the topic question- Why is Drake so popular? For as long as I live, I will not know the answer to that question, but it’s probably that one idiot started liking his music, and everyone else just bandwagoning on the cool kid idiot and it spread. 

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 6/21/16    

Across 4. The one in "The Matrix" 5. Third baseman for Cubs 7. Tusk piano key 8. Easy Cheese toupee guy Down 1. Feel the ____ 2. Clever new talk show host 3. Share one of these and a song 6. Democrat bound to win   

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www.billboard.com

Billboard Top 15 Pop Songs

1 Can’t Stop The Feeling! - Justin Timberlake

2 Don’t Let Me Down - The Chainsmokers ft. Daya

3 One Dance - Drake ft. WizKid & Kyla

4 Dangerous Woman - Ariana Grande

5 Work From Home - Fifth Harmony ft. Ty Dolla $ign

6 This Is What You Came For - Calvin Harris ft. Rihanna

7 I Took A Pill In Ibiza - Mike Posner

8 Let It Go - James Bay

9 Cheap Thrills - Sia ft. Sean Paul

10 Close - Nick Jonas ft. Tove Lo

11 Ride - twenty one pilots

12 Pillowtalk - Zayn

13 Just Like Fire - P!nk

14 7 Years - Lukas Graham

15 Kill Em With Kindness - Selena Gomez

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