Reading Games 1-17

READINGGAMESA Collection of Reading Games and Activities for

intermediate to Advanced Students of English

fill and Charles Hadfield

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List of games

Introduction

Teacher's notes

Games material

Index

List of games

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Level Function

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I Parlour games

2 Successfulfailures

3 Heroic failures

4 Punch lines

5 My first valentine

6 Postcards from John

7 Evacuees

8 Urban myths

9 Famous last words

10 Body language

11 Time warp

12 Curious customs

13 Vi l lage gossip

14 A life in the day

15 Guilty secrets

16 Loose morals

17 Roots

18 Ghost stories

intermediate

intermediate

intermediate

intermediate

intermediate

intermediate

intermediate

intermediate

intermediate

upper intermediate

upper intermediate

upper intermediate

upper intermediate

upper intermediate

upper intermediate

upper intermediate

upper intermediate

upper intermediate

upper intermediate

upper intermediate

upper intermediate

advanced

advanced

advanced

1 9

20

21

22

23

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Murder in the library

Believe it or not

Trouble with men, frogs,shoes and sisters

Horoscope exchange

Dream merchants

Politically correct

giving instructions

narrating past events

narration

narration


describing scenes and past events

narrating past experiences

narration

reporting what other people said

describing customs

talking about life in past times

describing habits and customs


describing daily routines

narrating past experiences

narrating a story

talking about past events

narrating a story

narration, hypothesis

defining and explaining, justifying,giving reasons

narrating a fairy story

talking about character and emotions

narrating past events, predicting the future

f inding euphemisms

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The activit ies in this book all require the reading of a textand the communication of the information it contains.sometimes in order to solve a puzzle or complete a task,sometimes in order to do a role play.

All the activit ies consist of two main phases:

rhese phasei may be organised in different ways. Forexample, in the first phase, students may be divided intogroups and each group given a different text to read. Theycomplete a worksheet and/or discuss the text in their9roups.

Phase 1

Text A Text B Text C

Phase 2

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In this type of activity a worksheet or questionnaire ishanded out after phase 2 and the students try to completeas much as possible using the information they picked upin the second phase.

Although not an integral part of the 'read and retell 'activity, ' lead-in' and 'follow-up' activities have beensuggested in most cases to provide further integration ofskills. The 'lead-in' activities are based on discussion orlistening to an anecdote told by the teacher; the 'follow-

up' activities are suggestions for written work.A list of 'problem vocabulary' - words that may beunfamiliar to the students - is orovided in the Teacher'sNotes for each game, to enable the teacher to be preparedfor queries. Students should be encouraged to read asfluently and self-reliantly as possible, trying to guess ordeduce meaning where possible, using English-Englishdictionaries where this fails, and turning to the teacher forguidance if either of these resources fail.

The Teacher's Notes also give indications of level - themajority of texts are intermediate/upper intermediatelevel, but where texts are easier or more difficult thanaverage, this is indicated. The time required is alsoindicated. Most activities will last an average lesson.Shorter activities can be extended to fil l a lesson by doingthe follow-up activity in class. Longer ones can fil l a doublelesson, or a single one if the texts is given to the studentsin advance, or the information 'share phase' allowed torun on into homework.

The activities provide practice both in reading skills and inoral expression, training students in the ability to extractessential information from a text and to give an oralsummary of its contents. They provide a stimulus fornatural and meaningful communication: giving both areason and a motivating and enjoyable context for sharinginformation. When integrating skills in this way, thereading skill feeds directly into the speaking skill: newwords and exoressions are often absorbed almosreffortlessly from the text by a kind of osmosis andstudents' fluency and confidence in speaking areimproved.

Although the activities are quite simple to set up,classroom management needs to be detailed and precise,and you will need to be very clear in your own mind aboutwho is going to do what when - and where! Some pointsto bear in mind:o Arrange desks and tables into groups in advance if

possible for the first phase. lf it is not possible to move thefurniture in your classroom, give the same texts to studentsat adjacent desks, and work out how they can turn theirchairs round to talk to those sitting near or behind them, ifgroup discussion is required in the first phase.

In the second phase students are regrouped to share theirinformation, in order to act out roles or to complete a taskor solve a ouzzle.

Phase 2

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The above diagrams show groupings for an activityinvolving three texts, but activit ies may involve from two tosrx texts.

Alternatively, every student in the class may have adifferent, short text to read:

Phase 1

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P e t c .

In phase 2 the students mingle freely and communicatetheir information in randomly constituted small groups.This activity may have a time limit set by the teacher, andthe aim is to l isten to as many people's stories as possible(i.e. to obtain as much information as possible) in the timeallowed.

1 READ _ EXTRACT INFORMATION

2 COMMUNICATE - SHARE INFORMATION

o The regrouping of students for the second phase is bestdone by g iv ing each student a number, e.g. :

activit ies, but in general some sort of warm-up activityshould be included as an introduction, to awaken students'interest and provide a context for the reading text. Afollow-up writ ing task is a valuable activity, partly to 'f ix' inmore permanent form the new words and expressions thestudents may have learned during the reading andspeaking activit ies, but also because writ ing is easier givena context and a reason, and that is precisely what theseactivit ies provide.

Group C

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Then ask 'All the ones' to go to a certain area of the room,'All the twos' to another area, and so on.

. lf students are not in groups. but moving about freelyfor the second phase, make sure in advance that you havean area where they can do this, by having the desks in a U-shape with the central area free, or if the tables arearranged in groups, by making sure that there is plenty offree space in the central area. lf you cannot move yourfurnitu16, and your classroom is cramped, you wil l need tomodify this activity, so that students begin by talking to theperson next to them, then swap seats with other studentsto talk to a different partner. The seat-swapping hadprobably better be directed by you if space is l imited!

o The teacher's role changes constantly during one ofthese activit ies, and you wil l need to be quite a chameleon.During the init ial setting-up phase, and the changeoverfrom phase 1 to phase 2, you wil l need to be a very clearinstruction-giver. During phase 1, your role wil l be that ofguide and problem-solver. You may need to be very quickon your feet here if you have a large class. lf the studentsare working in groups, try to train them to ask each otherfor help first before turning to you - they can often solveeach others' problems. During phase 2, your role is as aresource and guide, helping students if they are stuck anddon't know what to say, or are unclear about what to do.You are also a monitor and evaluator, l istening to what thestudents are saying and noting mistakes and areas ofdiff iculty, which may form a basis for subsequent teaching.It is a good idea to carry a pen and notebook, or an OHTand OHP pen if you have one, and to note down anypersistent problems or errors.

r The longer texts have an accompanying worksheet todirect the students' attention to the main points and tohelp them read for gist. With the shorter texts, theinstruction is simply to memorise the details. lt is importantthat the students understand that they are not expected tomemorise the text and reproduce it word for word, but tounderstand and remember the main ooints and retell thestory in their own words (though of course they may usewords and phrases from the text if they remember them).With stronger groups, or students, it is a good idea toremove the text at the end of ohase 1. Weaker studentsmay like to keep the text as a prop, but you should try toensure that they do not simply read from the textl Askthem to turn it over and only peep at it i f they areabsolutely desperate, or in the activit ies which involveretell ing the story a few times, let them retain the text atfirst, and ask them to give it up when they have told thestory once or twice and are feeling more confident.

o The introductory and follow-up activit ies are there asSuggestions only. You may have your own ideas torintroducing or following on from the 'read and retell '

Group A

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Group B

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P a r l o u r g a m e s

Type of activityj igsaw in four groups then groups of fourreading instructions and explaining how to play a game

Leve{Time requiredintermediate/average

Games materialTexts: A Botticell i ; B The parson's cat; C Crambo; D Theadverb game

Function practisedgiving instructions

Structuresimperatives, present simple, must

Lexical areasfamous people, adjectives, adverbs

Problem vocabulary

A Botticelli: recalled, guess, clues, identity, restrict

B The parson's cat: take turns, version, round

C Crambo: clue, rhymes, guess

D The adverb game'. adverb, missing, recalled, guess,perform, according to

How to use the activity

Make enough copies of text A for one quarter of thestudents to have a copy each, and the same for texts B, Cand D .The texts in this activity are all instructions for how to playVictorian parlour games, a popular evening pastime in thedays before television. Lead into the activity with a briefdiscussion on what students' families do for entertainment.Divide the class into four groups, A, B, C, and D. Giveeveryone in group A a copy of text A, everyone in group B acopy of text B, and so on.Give them time to read their text and discuss any problemsor misunderstandings with their group. Tell them that theywill have to show other people how to play their game, andwarn them that you wil l take the texts away. They can makenotes if they l ike.When you are confident they have understood how to play

their game, take the texts away and regroup them into foursso that each new group contains an A, a B, a C and a D.The object of the activity is for each member of the newgroup to show the rest of the group how to play theirgame.

Follow-up: Ask students to write a set of instructions for

p lay ing a game fami l iar to them.

S u c c e s s f u l f a i l u r e s

Type of activityj igsaw in six groups then groups of sixretell ing the history of a successful peirson andcompleting a questionnaire

Leve/Time requiredintermediate/average

Games materialTexts: A Author; B Actress; C Footballer; D Pop singer; E

Cartoonist; F ActorQuestionnaireFunction practisednarrating past events

Structurespast tenses

Lexical areaswork, books, acting, football, pop music, art

Problem vocabulary

A A successful author: dead-end iobs, degree, seniorlecturer, ego, took off, paratrooper, kidnap, motivation, put

me down, on your side

B A famous actress: voluptuous, audition, agent, burst into

tears, troupe, modelling, misery, obligations

C A successful footballer: trial, rejected, contract, on loan,

re I u cta nt, esta bl i sh, conf i de n ce

D A successful pop singer: settle down, disbanded,keyboard, tick, on the dole, yell, breakthrough, released,risks

E A successful cartoonist: commercial, sold out, desperate,hell on earth, potential, reviewed, genius

F A successful actor: cope with, audition, registrar,convinced, encouragement, principal, therapist, evaluate,realised, establishment, scaring, literate, pedlar

How to use the activitY

Make enough copies of text A for one sixth of the studentsto have a copy each, and the same for texts B-F. Makeenough copies of the questionnaire for the students to haveone eacn.You might l ike to begin with a short discussion of successand failure. Ask the students to think of and write down the

names of one person they think is a success and one person

they think is a failure (not necessarily famous people). When

they have written down the names, they should get togetherwith a partner and explain why they chose those people and

what they mean by success and failure (in whose eyes, bywhat standards, etc.).Divide the class into six groups, A, B, C, D, E and F. Give textA to each student in group A, text B to those in group B, etc'Give each student a copy of the questionnaire'Give them time to read their text. while you circulate to dealwith problems and queries.When they have finished reading,ask each student to work with a partner from the samegroup. Ask one of them to imagine they are the 'successful

failure' and the other to imagine they are the person/one ofthe people who told them some years ago that theywouldn't make it. They meet again at a party and begin tota lk . . .When the students have finished this first role-play, regroupthem so that each new group contains, as far as possible, anA, a B, a C. a D, an E and an F. Ask them to tell their stor:iesto each other.The object of the activity is to decide who was thebiggest failure and who is the biggest success'

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Follow-up: Ask students to write the diary entry for theircharacter the day they were told they were no good.Alternatively, pin up a set of pictures of men and women.Ask the students to choose a face that they l ike. They shouldthen imagine and write a similar failure/success story for thalcharacter.

H e r o i c f a i l u r e sType of activitywhole clas3 m6l6e then groups of fourretell ing a story and answering a questionnaireLeve/Time requiredintermediate/shorter than averageGames materialTexts: A The crimes that were easiest to detect; B Theleast well-planned robbery; C The least profitablerobbery; D The most unsuccessful prison escape; E Theworst bank robbers; F The most unsuccessful attempt towork through a lunch hour; G The least successfulattempt to meet a relative at an airport; H The leastsuccessful animal rescue; I The least successful banrrobber; J The worst tourisrQuestionnaireFunction practisednarrailon


Lexical areascrime, office work. tourism

J The worst tourist: assumed, delayed, heavy traffic,mentioned, tracking down, modernization, brushed aside,landmarks, benefit, tongue, brief, brilliance, siren

How to use the activityMake enough copies of the ten texts, A-J, for the students tohave one text each, with as much variety as possible in theclass. Make enough copies of the questionnaire for thestudents to have one each.Explain to the students that they are going to read a storyabout a disastrous experience. you might l ike to introducethe activity with an amusing disaster story of your own, or byelicit ing tales of personal disaster (funny) from the students.Give out one text to each student and give them some timeto read their text, asking you for help if necessary, and tomemorise the main points of their story. Then ask them all tostand up and circulate, retell ing their story in therr ownwords to as many people as possible.The object of the activity is to hear as many disasterstories as possible.You can put a time limit on this part of the activity if you l ike.After a certain time, ask the students to return to their seatsand give them each a copy of the questionnaire. Ask thestudents to complete as much as possible by themselves,then move them into groups of four and ask them to sharetheir information to complete the questionnaire.Go through the answers to the questionnaire with the wholeclass, clearing up any misunderstandings and fi l l ing any gaps.Students wil l probably want to see all the texts.Note: With a strong group you can remove the texts whenthey have read them and ask them to tell the stories frommemory. With weaker students I often let them keep thetexts as support to begin with, then remove them after theyhave retold the story a couple of t imes and are feeling moreconfident.

Key: 1 The prisoners'tunnel came out in the courtroom.2 There was a dock strike and his was the only boat movingon the water. 3 The Post Office had closed down. 4 Therewas less in the ti l l than the f 10 he had given the cashier.5 The robbers got stuck in the revolving doors. 6 A cowfall ing through the roof. 7 She thought a total stranger washer brother. 8 The firemen ran it over. 9 ' l don't have apaper bag,' 1 0 He got off the plane during a fuel sropbecause he thought he had arrived. New york.

Follow-up; Students could write their own disaster srones,either from experience or imagination. Try giving some tit les:The worst charter f l ight, The worst holiday, The worst pianorecttal. etc.

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Problem vocabulary

A The crimes that were easiest to detect: dazzling, logic,inevitability, barge, dock strike, craftB The least well-planned robbery: raiding, cash, premises,masKs, getaway car, sped, screeched to a halt, omittedC The least profitable robbery: unique, tactic, till, trolley,goods, snatch, undeterred, getaway, raid, screamD The most unsuccessful prison escape.. convicts, guided,gentus, courtroom, sentenced, judges, jailE The worst bank robbers: stuck, revolving, sheepishty,cashier, practical joke, disheartened, gang, barely,awkwa rd ly, c I utch i n g, a n kl e, g etaway, tra p pedF The most unsuccessful attempt to work through a lunchhour: seta record, uninterrupted, clambered, adjoining,stared, charged, retreated, steadily, scattered, stacks, heifer,chew, elaborate, pulleysG The least successful attempt to meet a relative at anairport: facilities, wandered, smothered, cuddling,enthusiasm, hospitality, modified, ushered, amiss, slumped,kidnappedH The least successful animal rescue.. rescue, strike, valiantly,

I The least successful bank robber: hold-up, cashier,bemused, grille, fled

emergency, retrieve, trapped, haste, discharge, duty,g rateful, fond farewell

4 P u n c h l i n e s

Type of activitywhole class m6l6eretelling jokes and finding the person with the punch lineLeve/Time requiredintermediate/shorter than averageGames materialTexts: Jokes 1-1 5Punch linesFunction practisednarrauonStructurespast tensesLexical areasvarious

Problem vocabulary1: vicar, parishioner, parrot, ribbon, hymn, perch2: crumpled, elephant, proves

4: cautiously, crept5, survey, colonel, achievement6'. scrambled7: canary, cuttle fish, wedged, swing, bird seed8: bumped into, bitterly, pregnant, hiccups9'. anxious, apologetically

10: to the point, romance, royalty, mystery, religion,task, pregnant1 1: speech, faultless, deafening applause12: achieve, conductor, proposed, free of charge13: weedy, lumberjack, axe blow, crashing14: architect, politician, rib, chaos15: tycoon, flair, specialist, prematurely, worn out,transplant surgery, legal, ridiculous


Make enough copies of the fifteen jokes for the students tohave one joke each, with as much variety as possible in theclass. Copy the same number of corresponding punch lines.Give out one joke to each student and one punch line toeach student. The punch line should not correspond to thejoke the student has! Make sure that somewhere in the classthere is a punch line for every joke. lf you have more thanfifteen students, do the activity in two groups.Students should read their joke and walk around the classtell ing it unti l they find the person who has thecorresponding punch line.The object of the activity is to find their own punch lineand to give away their original punch line.When they have done this, they should sit down. Wheneveryone is sitt ing down, students can tell their completeiokes to the whole class.

Key: The punch lines are printed together on one page inthe same order as the jokes appear.

Type of activitywhole class m6l6e then pairwork/small groupsretell ing an anecdote and completing a questionnaire

Leve/Time requiredintermediate/shorter than average

Games materialTexts: A Rabbi; B Pin-up/singer; C News presenter; DSportswoman; E Writer; F Novelist 1; G TV presenter; HNovelist 2; I Polit ician; J ScriptwriterQuestionnaireFunction practisednarrating past events

Strucluresoast tenses

Lexical areaschildhood, love

Problem vocabulary

A Rabbi: glamorous, upset, out of reach

B Pin-up/singer: promptly, feased, dishy, lipstick, jealous,boasting, annoyed

C News presenter: unforgettable, violets, checked, spots

D Sportswoman'. silk, propose, depressed, ignore, signed

E Writer: humiliated, thrilling

F Novelist 1: idealistic, garlanded, trimmed,lace

G TV Presenter: hideously, cruellest, waded, tadpoles

H Novelist 2: puzzled, marvellous, liar

I Politician: anonymous, dressing table

J Scriptwriter: knock, incredible, do the trick

5 M y f i r s t v a l e n t i n e

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Howto use the activity )Make enough copies of the ten texts, A-J, for the students to Fhave one teit each, with as much variety as possible in the Jclass, Make enough copies of the questionnaire for the gstudents to have one each'

^i ..^..- ̂.^.^ =JYou might like to start with a brief introduction of your own Eiabout Valentine's Day: explain the history, customs, tell Ianecdotes, etc. or, if you have a class who are familiar with frValentine's Day, elicit information and/or anecdotes from

-JGive out one text to each student, ensuring that as far as F.|possible everyone gets a different text. lf you have twenty or ,-lmore in your class, it is probably best to do the activity in two E{sroups. JAsk the students to read their text and to memorise the L.{information it contains, in order to be able to tell the story to

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IWhen they are ready, ask them to get up and walk around g!the class, telling their story to other students. -

|The objea of the activity is to listen to as many stories :las possible in order to complete a questionnaiie later. -You might l ike to give a time limit for this activity. With a -1srrong group, you can collect in the stories. With a weaker H Igroup, you may like to let them retain the stories as support

C* lFollow-up: Students tell jokes they know - in English!

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initially but collect them in when they have retold their storyonce or twice and have more confidence.When the students have finished or the time limit is up, askthem to sit down and give each student a copy of thequestionnaire. Students should try to complete thequestionnaire individually, but when they have got as far asthey can on their own, they can help each other in pairs orsmal l groups.

Key: 1 A figure with a red heart, ' l ' l l be loving you'. Yes.he's her husband, 2 Frou-Frou. His secretary. With a l ipstickkiss. He opened it. 3 He waded into a pool to get hertadpoles. 4 Two. 5 One. 6 Her first love - a family friend. 7Seven. A handsome boy. A boy with spots. 8 lt asked her topropose to him.

Follow-up: Write your own Valentine anecdote - real orimaginary, Design a Valentine's card.

P o s t c a r d s f r o m J o h nType of activitywhole class m6l6e then pairworkretell ing news from a postcard and plotting a journey ona map

Leve/Time requiredintermediate/shorter than average

Games materialTexts:A Delh i ; B Kathmandu 1; C Kathmandu 2; DCalcutta; E Mandalay; F Chiang Mai; G Hong Kong; HBali; I SydneyRoute map

Function practiseddescribing scenes and past events

Structurespast tenses, present perfect, present simple andconunuousLexical areasforeign travel, landscapes, cityscapes, etc.

Problem vocabulary

A Delhi: immigration, curfew, riots, demonstration, stuckB Kathmandu 1: hellish, wing (of a house), palace, arrested,smuggling, mistaken identity, freed, case, trekkingC Kathmandu 2: trekked, temple, yeti, sherpa, scuffling,grabbed, torch, creature, all fours, rucksack, trial

D Calcutta: ashamed, perspective, mugged

E Mandalay: ruined, temples, crocodile

F Chiang Mai: tribe, ethnic, costume, trek, idyllic, kidnapped,bandits, opium smuggling, civil war, guerrillas, jungle,camouflage, armed

G Hong Kong: wandering, super, bustle, stopover

H Bali: troprcal, paradise, cobras, heaven, froze, scream,stroke of luck, pounced, grabbed

I Sydney: wheelchair, knocked down, ribs, loan, plaster


Make enough copies of the nine postcard texts, A-1, for thestudents to have one each, with as much variety in the classas possible. Make enough copies of the route map for thestudents to have one each.You might l ike to begin by asking what is the longest journeyany of your students have undertaken. Then give everyone apostcard and a route map. lf you have fewer than ninestudents, give some people more than one card. lf you havemore than nine but fewer than eighteen students, explainthat some cards wil l be duplicates. lf you have eighteen ormore students, play the game in two groups.Tell the students that they have all received cards from amutual friend called John who is travell ing in Asia. Ask themto read their card and to olot on the mao the section of thejourney he describes. They should also mark the map withthe appropriate symbol for the adventure that took place inthat country. Go round the class and help as required.When they have finished ask everyone to stand up and movearound talking to other people to find out news about John.The object of the activity is to plot John's journey onthe map and mark each country with the appropriatesymbol.As they finish ask them to sit down with a partner and tocompare maos.

Key: Delhi (closed bank); Kathmandu (prison bars),Kathmandu (yeti); Calcutta (passport); Mandalay (crocodile);Chiang Mai (guns); Hong Kong (bath); Bali (snake); Sydney(hospital bed).

Follow-up: Ask students to write one more postcard fromJohn from an interim town in one of the countries he visitedAlternatively, bring in old postcards of your own with blankpaper glued to the back. Ask the students to look at thepicture, imagine what John did there and write the card.

Evacuees

Type of activitywhole class m6l6e then pairwork/small groupsretelling an evacuee's experiences and completingextracts from their letters homeLeve/Time requiredintermediate (though introductory passage isharder)/shorter than averageGames materialTexts: Introductory text; A; B; C; D; E; F; G; HWorksheetFunction practisednarrating past experiencesStructurespast tensesLexical areaswar. domestic life

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Problem vocabulary

lntroductory lexl: urban, threat, rural, idyllic, hell,evacuation, masterpiece, profound, uprooted, gas mask,dispatched, amounted to, cockney, manure, come in for myshare of, take someone in, halcyon, city slicker, vulnerable,air raid, inkling, momentous

A: pilchards, wallop, dish up

B: spot5 eventually, nod, bairns

C: peacocks, billets, vicar, gearJever, swastika, bobby,interrogate

D: fortunate, viaduct, rails, sigh of relief

E: greasy, plait, braid, scullery, consent, allowance, treated

F: tortoise, put to sleep, bravely, vet, cargo, forced,sorrovffully

G: bolted, crawled, straw, dashingH: devise, insist, unsealed, deposited, accommodated,overjoyed


Copy an introductory text and a worksheet for each student.Make enough copies of the eight texts. A-H, for the studentsto have one each, with as much variety as possible in theclass.Use the introductory text and pictures to stimulate discussionon evacuees: How did the children feel? How did theirparents feel as they saw them off at the station? Whatproblems and diff iculties would there be for the hostfamilies?, etc.Give out one text describing an evacuee's experience to eachstudent, ensuring that as far as possible everyone gets adifferent text. lf there are more than eight in your class, dothe activity in groups.Ask the students to read the text and assimilate theinformation, while you circulate and deal with any queries.When they have finished, ask them to stand up and walkaround the class, tell ing their story. They should tell the storyas if they were the evacuees and the events happened tothem. With a strong group, the texts can be collected in assoon as they have finished reading: weaker students mayfind it helpful to retain the texts unti l they have retold theirstory a couple of t imes and are feeling more confident.The object of the activity is to listen to as many storiesas possible in order to be able to complete a worksheet.You can set a time limit for this part of the activity if you l ike.When they have finished, or the time limit is up, ask them tosit down again and give them a worksheet to complete. Theyshould try to complete this individually as far as possible, butmay work in pairs or small groups to help each other whenthey have done as much as they can by themselves.

Key: 1 a tin of pilchards and some bread and water...for thebutter...wallop round the head. 2 we were two plain l itt legirls wearing glasses. 3 him...his son. 4 the train came off therails and we fell into the water underneath. 5 plait...braidi t . . .5 p.m.. . .money comes f rom our parents. . .we getmedicine. 6 the vet...soldier...the tortoise...vet...put him in thepark. 7 outside...the chicken house...she brought mein...holes coat. 8 our letters from home and insisted onreading our letters...wrote to tell our parents we wereunhappy...the door locked and our belongings in the garden...seafront... lady with a dog...we could go home with her.

Follow-up: Students can imagine they are one of theevacuees and write a letter home to their parents about theirnew life.

U r b a n m y t h s

Type of activitywhole class m6l6e or groups of eightretell ing a story and finding the person with the ending

Leve/Time requiredintermediate/average

Games materialTexts: A Take a break; B A nasty set-to; C A low note; DPhone home; E Signed, sealed and delivered; F An unfaircop; G Tow job; H Fitted-up wardrobeEndings 1-8

Function practisednarration

Structurespast simple, past perfect. past continuousLexical areascrime, driving

Problem vocabulary

A Take a break: laden down, scruffy, punk, fuming,gathering up, storming out

B A nasty set-to: matet cement mixer truck, thrilled him tobits, soft-top, fist, brim, shrug, bid

C A low note: chattenng, veering, windscreen wiper dented,wing, witnessed

D Phone home: double-glazing, receiver, whispered

E Signed, sealed and delivered: trenchcoat, dog-eared,squinted, scrawl, barrel, thrusting, shoved, holdal[ booty,baffled, track down

F An unfair cop: joyriders, serial killers, flashed, aiar, pokea rou nd, flustered, cigg ies

G Towjob: speedchecks, taken aback, summons, crucial

H fitted-up wardrobe: keep an eye on, chaps, rack his brains


Make enough copiei of the eight texts, A-H, and the eightendings for the students to have one text and one endingeach, with as much variety as possible in the class.Explain the meaning of 'Urban Myths' - apocryphal stories,usually beginning: 'This happened to a friend of a friend ofmine... ' and told to you by acquaintances, or sometimescomplete strangers, in bars.Give each student a story and an ending. The ending shouldnot correspond to their story! (lf you prefer to play the gamein small groups of eight, instead of as a whole class activity,divide the students into groups first and then give eachgroup eight stories and endings to be shuffled and dealt outrandomly.)Students should read their story and try to write a sentenceto end the story.The object of the activity is to then find the person withthe real ending to their story.

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To do this, the students should walk around the classretell ing their story unti l they meet the person who has thereal ending. This person should give them the slip of paper'with the ending on.When they have found their own endings and given awaytheir original ones, they should sit down. When everyone issitt ing down, students can tell their stories to the class,comparing the endings they wrote, with the real endings.

Key: The correct endings are printed alongside the stories inthe photocopiable Games material section.

Follow-up: This activity can lead into a discussion on UrbanMyths - are there any such stories circulating in the students'own cultures?

F a m o u s l a s t w o r d sType of activitywhole class m6l6e then groups of fourretelling anecdotes about famous witticisms and fil l ingin speech bubblesLeve/Time requiredintermediate/shorter than averageGames materialIntroductory cartoonsParker, Coward, Wilde, Whistler cartoonsTexts: A; B; C; D; E; F; G; H; I; J; K; L; M; N; o; PWorksheetFunction practisedreporting what other people saidStructurespast tenses, reported speechLexical areassocial occasions, art, music, theatre

Problem vocabulary

Parker, Coward, Wilde, Whistler cartoons: disaster, genius,good shot, feigning, dim-witted, impresario, blew his brainsout, featuring, prodigy, engage in, would-be, insulter, foyer,rotten, customs officer, scintillating

A: noseyB: threatened, legal action, sueC: busfD: son of a gun, snapped, exceptionE: get the better of, latter, enclosingF: pottyG'. courteouslyH: rebuked, intoxicated, soberl'. ilLreceived, stage, cabledJ: hostessK: tone-deaf, orchestra, dominoesL'. would-be, pompous, scribbledM: desparr of, disconsolately, easel, masterpiece,perspective, alterN: snapshotO: affordP: cabinetmaker, sketch


Make one copy of the introductory cartoons for eachstudent. Make enough copies of the Parker, Coward, Wilde,Whistler cartoons for one half of the students to have a copyeach. Make enough copies of the sixteen texts, A-P, for thestudents to have one text each, with as much variety aspossible in the class. Make enough copies of the worksheetfor one quarter of the students to have a copy each.Begin by giving everyone a copy of the introductory cartoonsand talking about them together. Find out if the studentsknow who the people are (Sir Winston Churchil l, war leaderand one-liner extraordinary; George Bernard Shaw,playwright, crit ic, socialist; Pablo Picasso, Spanish artist,sculptor and wry wit; Groucho Marx, US comic, maker ofsnappy remarks) and give them a l itt le background if theydon't. lf you have an overhead projector, you may prefer tocopy the introductory cartoons onto an OHT for thisdiscussion, rather than hand out copies.Put the students into pairs and give each pair a copy of theParker, Coward, Wilde, Whistler cartoons. Ask the studentsto work in pairs to match the stories with their last l ines.When they have done this, give each student one of thesixteen texts, A-P. lf you have fewer than sixteen students,give some students two texts. lf you have more than sixteenstudents, some students wil l have the same text. Ask themto read and memorise the details of the story so that theycan tell i t to others.When they are ready, ask them to get up and walk aroundthe class tell ing their story to other people. You can put atime limit on this part of the activity if you l ike. When theyhave finished or the time limit is up, regroup them into foursand give each group a worksheet to fi l l in.The object of the activity is to see how many exchangesthey can remember and fi l l in.

Key: t h, 2c,3i, 49,5d, 6f, 7b, 8a, 9e. Worksheet 1 'How

much are you paid?' 'Oh, I don't get paid in dollars. The ladyof the house just lets me sleep with her.' 2 'Your tit le, ANight in Casablanca, is too close to our title, Casablanca.' 'l'll

sue you for using the word "Brothers".' 3 'What do you thinkof the latest Victor Mature/Hedy Lamarr f i lm?' 'You can'texpect the public to get excited about a fi lm where theleading man's bust is bigger than the leading lady's.' 4 'You

old son-of-a-gun, you probably don't remember me.' ' l neverforget a face but in your case l ' l l be glad to make anexception.' 5 'One for yourself and one for a friend - if youhave one.' ' l can't make it, but can I have tickets for thesecond night - if there is one.' 6 'After all, they say he'spotty.' 'They say he can't hear either.' 7 ' l hope tophotograph you again on your hundredth birthday.' ' l don'tsee why not. You look reasonably fit to me.' 8 'You're

drunk.' 'And you, madam, are ugly. But I shall be sobertomorrow"' 9 ' l wil l stage your play.' 'Better never than late.'10 'Are you enjoying yourself ?' 'Certainly. There is nothingelse here to enjoy.' 1 1 'What would you like us to play next?''Dominoes.' 12'Lady Blank wil l be at home on Tuesdaybetween four and six o'clock.' 'Mr Bernard Shaw likewise.'13 ' l t 's a masterpiece.' 'No, the nose is all wrong. lt throwsthe whole picture out of perspective.' 'Then why not alterthe nose?' ' l can't f ind it. ' 14'l don't l ike modern paintingsbecause they aren't realistic. ' 'My, is she really as small asthat?' 15 'Why don't you have any of your own paintings on

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Follow-upr Ask students to imagine what would happen ifPicasso met Groucho Marx or Churchil l met Shaw. Whowould insult the other more? Ask them to work in pairs towrite an insulting dialogue.

1 0 B o d y l a n g u a g e

Type of activityj igsaw in four groups then groups of foursharing information on different nationalit ies' gesturesaqd completing a worksheet on body language indifferent countries

Leve/Time requiredupper intermediate/shorter than average

Games materialTexts: Introductory text; A; B; C; DQuestionnaireFunction practiseddescribing customs

Structurespresent simple, present perfect, present continuousLexical areasnationalities, gestures

Problem vocabulary

I ntrod uctory texf'. I i g ht-he a rted, g affes, co I I i d e, reve rse,fascinating, mingling, signals, cast, globe, rubbingshoulders, posture, gesture, body-lingo, mutuallyincomprehensible, unwitting, insult

A: cheery, thumbs up, cabbies, clonks, devastatingly,insulting, incidentally, thumb a lift, luggage trolley, on-looker, worthless rogue

B: give offence, assailed, tremendous, itch, tug, earlobe,insult, rotten, sponger, watch it, mate, sneaky, so-and-so,get lost, pansy, ineffably, hang around

C: ring-gesture, glancing, remarks, sou, enraged, obscenity,chokes, appalls, go to hell, restrained, punch, maitre d', out-thrust, palms, promptly, skewers

D: eyelid, make a pass at, thrust, palms, gesture, descendedfrom, smear, filth, condemned, gutter, vile, taboo, give twofingers, misinterpretation, the wonder is, functions,flattering


Copy an introductory text and a questionnaire for eachstudent. Make enough copies of text A for one quarter ofthe students to have a copy each, and the same for texts B, Cand D.You might like to preface this activity with a short classdiscussion on body language and gestures. Demonstrate afew gestures (counting to ten, ' l don't know', 'You're crazy'.etc.) and ask the students for their equivalents, if they arefrom a different cultural background.Then hand out the introductorv text to all students and

discuss the gestures described in it.Divide the class into four groups, A, B, C and D. Give text Ato each student in group A, text B to all those in group B,etc.Give them time to read their text and to memorise theinformation it contains, while you circulate to deal withqueries. Then regroup the students into fours, so that eachnew group contains an A, a B, a C and a D.Ask them to share the information they have just read withthe other members of the group. They should use their ownwords, as far as possible, without looking back at the text. lfyou want to make things diff icult for an advanced group, tellthem that no hand movements are allowed - they mustexplain everything in words!The object of the activity is to collect as muchinformation as possible in order to complete thequestionnaire.When the students have finished sharing information, givethem each a copy of the questionnaire. They shouldcomplete it individually without consultation in the firstinstance and then, when everyone in the group has got asfar as they can, they may help each other.Students may like to see copies of all the texts at the end,

Key: 1 A 'moutza' is an insulting Greek gesture (palms up).2 A 'Victory V' is the first two fingers held up in a V-sign (Vfor Victory). 3 Britain. 4 Because an outstretched thumb isinsulting. 5 'Thumbs-up' in Britain means 'f ine', 'OK'. 6 Go tohell. 7a SaudiArabia. 7b South America. 8a Zero. 8b A-OK.8c Money. 8d l ' l l ki l l you. 8e An obscenity. 9a You rottensponger. 9b You'd better watch it, 9c You sneaky l itt le soand so. 9d Get lost you pansy. 9e Something wonderful,

Follow-up: Write a set of guidelines for staff working atHeathrow Airport, or imagine an internationalmisunderstanding and write the resulting dialogue.

1 1 T i m e w a r p

Type of activitypairwork then groups of fourreading a text about l i fe a hundred years ago andsharing the information

Leve/Time requiredupper intermediate/average

Games materialWorksheetTexts: 50 years ago; Today; A Six in the bed; B Life washard; C 'Children should be seen and not heard'; DAppearances

Function practisedtalking about l i fe in past t imes

Structurespast tenses, would (to express habits), may have

Lexical areaswork, l iving conditions, children's behaviour, clothes

Problem vocabulary50 years ago: shame, vandalism, non-existent, respected,

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issue, instil, make-believe, porridge, poultry, dull, itchy,siblings, social stigma, errands, treat, comics, three Rs,11 plus, specifically, wireless, wring, baking

Today: differentiated, pest, menace, supplemented, wellequipped, service industry, guilty, current, casual, hand-me-downs, outfit, non-issue, get away with, cheeky, misbehave,deterrent, munch, snack, take-away

A Six in the bed: crowded, a lot to do with, strict, nurseries,criches, mill, neglecting, tragedy, communal, blunder, surviveB Life was hard: rough, survive, poultry, stagger, pail,scarcely, beloved, admired, nursing, soothe, hush, rock,dandle, distracted, conduct, guardianship, weary, sheaves,cart, line up with, gritty

C 'Children should be seen and not heard': answer back,boxed my ears, chatter, strict, behaviour, fussiness,tolerated, giace, swallowed, hasty, suet pudding andtreacle, unsuitable, forbidden, slogan, dull, punishment,feature, leather, chastisement, yard, strap, strip, bruisesD Appearances: scarce, bargains, second-hand, hand-me-downs, patched, mended, swap, cropped, plait, crimped


Make one copy of the worksheet for each student. Makeenough copies of the text 50 years ago for half the studentsto have a copy each and enough copies of Today for theother half . Make enough copies of text A for one quarter ofthe students to have a copy each, and the same for texts B,C and D.Ask the students for anecdotes: differences between theirparents and themselves, or between themselves andyounger or older brothers and sisters for example.Then give each student the worksheet with the introductoryparagraph and headings. Ask the students to talk in pairsabout how they think children have changed over the lastfifty years in relation to the topics on the worksheet. (Thisshould be kept fairly brief .)Then give one student in each pair the 50 years ago text andthe other the Today text. Ask them to match the headingson the worksheet with the paragraphs in their text. Whenthey have finished, ask them to share their information withtheir oartner.Then ask the pairs to join up together into groups of four.Give each student in the group a different text (A, B, C or D)describing children's l i fe a hundred years ago. Ask them tocomplete part two of the worksheet, first choosing theheadings that apply to their text and then making brief notesunder each heading, on the back of their worksheet. Whenthey have done this, get them to tell the others in the groupabout their l i fe.The object of the activity is to imagine they are a childof a century ago and to tell the others about their life.

Key: 50 years ago - clothes f, games d, money g, transporth, home a, holidays b, discipline c, bedtime k, food e, music j,school i; Today - clothes h, games i, money c, transport b,home d, holidays g, discipline j, bedtime a, food k, music e,school f

Follow-up: Write a letter from a child fifty years ago to achild now.

1 2 C u r i o u s c u s t o m s

Type of activitywhole class m6l6efinding out about traditional customs and fi l l ing in acalendar

Leve/Time requiredupper intermediate/average

Games materialTexts: A New Year's Day; B Shrove Tuesday; C KissingFriday; D April Fool's Day; E May Day; F Halloween;G Mischief Night; H New Year's EveWorksheet

Function practiseddescribing habits and customs

Structurespresent simple

Lexical areascustoms and rituals

Problem vocabulary

A New Year's Day: rise, make the round, mincepies, fool

B Shrove Tuesday: festival, pancake, fair, cane, skipping,blocked, lengths, clothesline, abreast

C Kissing Friday: mixed class, embarrassment, lad, proved,e ncou nte red, expostu I ate, tu r m oi I

D Aprif Fool's Day: joyous, hoax, pigeon, come in for theirshare, fooling, needlework, taken in, exempt, glueing, stuck,yell, eggshell, sense of humour, fright

E May Day: maidens, rise, dawn, dew, ensure, complexion,pimples, freckles, customary, rite, thereafter, maypole,garlands, stool, lace curtain

F Halloween: tub, basin, ftoated, stab, hook, nail, cored,supernatural influences, peel, initial, represents, stands for,vigorously, row, part

G Mischief Night: mrschief, hooliganism, lawlessness,permissible, assaulted, bogus, hoisted, daubed, coated,treacle, tripped over, unscrewed, tapped, drainpipes,stuffed, set alight, wet through, ashes, loop, door knobs,tugging

H New Year's Eve: ashes, afresh, assist, wealth, health,household, fi rst-footer, welcomed, hospitality, th reshold,ensure, well-being, spirit, siren, sprig, evergreen, toast(drink)


Make enough copies of text A for one eighth of the studentsto have a copy each, and the same for texts B - H.Make enough copies of the worksheet for a quarter of thectass.Begin by asking students about customs and rituals onspecial days in their countries. (This is a good activity to doeither on a day when it is one of their own festivals, or on aBrit ish festival, or as part of a Brit ish Life and Institutionscourse.)Divide the class into eight groups, A, B, C, D, E, F, G and H.Give text A to each student in group A, text B to those ingroup B, etc.

Tell them they are going to read abut customs that takeplace on certain festival days in Britain. Give the groups timeto read their text and discuss it. Go round and help asnecessa ry.When they have finished, ask them all to stand up.The object of the activity is to find out as much aspossible about customs that take place on other festivaldays.To do this they wil l have to move around the class tell ingeach other about their day and the rituals that happen on it.When they have f in ished or the t ime l imi t (10-15 minutes) isup, put them in groups of four and give each group aworksheet. They should work together to complete theworksheet, f i l l ing in the calendar with the names of the daysand the activit ies and customs that happen on those days.Round qff the activity by going through the calendar andasking what happens on each day.

Key: January - New Year's Day, children ask for gifts;February - Shrove Tuesday, people make and throwpancakes, everyone goes skipping, a bell is rung; February -

Kissing Friday, boys can kiss any girl they l ike; April - AprilFool's Day. children tell people things that aren't true,children play tricks on grown-ups; May - May Day, girls washthelr faces in the dew, children visit houses with garlands offlowers; October - Halloween, girls put nuts in the fire, girlsbrush their hair in front of the mirror, chlldren play duckapple, girls throw apple peel over their shoulder; November- Mischief Night, children play tricks on grown-ups,December - New Year's Eve, people place money and breadoutside the door, householders welcome a tall dark manwith wood. coal and silver coins.

Follow up: Ask students to write a description of a festivalday and its customs from their own country.

1 3 V i l l a g e g o s s i p

Type of activitywhole class m6l6e (minimum of 8) then pairworkretell ing information from a document about vil lagehistory and fi l l ing in a questionnaire

Leve/Time requiredupper intermediate/longer than average

Games materialVi l lage mapTexts: A Grey House; B Rose Cottage; C Hazel Cottage,D Manor Farm; E Willow Cottage; F HoneysuckleCottage; G Annie's Cottage; H Swallow CottageQuestionnaireFunction practisednarrating past events


Lexical areasvil lage l ife: love, crime, school, church, quarrels. ghosts,weddinos

Problem vocabulary

A Grey House: rnrsdotngs, involve, prominent, linked, bringcharges, break-in, culminated, kidnapped, ransom,unavailable for comment, coma, consciousness

B Rose Cottagei grace, melt, grateful, volunteered,charabanc, smocking, outing, Reverend, eloquent,combination, spiritual wholesomeness, masculinity,fluttering,refrained, parish, blush, enhanced, choir practice

C Hazel Cottage: benefit, explorations, forte, timekeeping,common factor, breadth, precocious, verbal dexterity,inestimable, rarity, instinctive, skill, unequalled, forays,brace, harvest, necessifate5 prolonged

D Manor Farm: heartfelt, token, benighted, ablaze, chapel,peal, echo, oak, pews, flock, blessed, ailments, weaving,exq u i site, h a ssoc ks, f e I lowsh i PE Willow Cottage: insurrection, rebellion, sedition,parishioners, combat, slain, pistol, pierced, wounded,duelling, outlawed, settle, disputes, baptized, font,upstanding, length and breadth, upbringing, naught, fled,distress, betwixt, ghosts, hau nted, revelation, presence,glimpsed, apparition, pistol, vanishing, duel

F Honeysuckle Cottage: decade

G Annie's Cottage: fitfully, treat, cruel, hard-hearted, means,disposal, witness, deceived, depth, suffer, dragged throughthe mire, scandal, gossip, unworthY

H Home Farm: ouf of sorts, wedding breakfast, gallon,

undercoat, gloss


Make one copy of the vil lage map for each student. Makeenough copies of the eight texts, A-H, for the students tohave one text each. Play this game with at least eightstudents, so that you can ensure that someone in the classhas information about a character/home. (lf you have morethan eight students, some texts wil l be duplicated - thisdoesn't matter, two or more people can live in the samehouse. You can group people l iving at the same addresstogether if you l ike.) Make enough copies of thequestionnaire to give one to each pair for the pairwork.

You might l ike to begin with a discusion about neighboursand community l i fe. How well do students know theirneighbours? Were people friendlier in the past? Giveeveryone a map of the vil lage and explain that they all l ive inthis vil lage. Then give out one text to each student. Explainthat they found this document in the attic of the housewhere they l ive and that it gives some information about theorevious occupants of the house.Give them some time to read and absorb the informationand go round and help as necessary. Then ask them to standup and move around the class, tell ing the other members ofthe vil lage about the juicy details they have discovered.The object of the activity is to build up a picture of wholived where in the 1920s and to fi l l in their maps withnames and descriptions of who lived and whathappened in each house.When the students have finished listening to each others'stories, put them in pairs and give each pair a questionnaire

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Follow up: Ask students to imagine who lived in ManorFarm, the Old Barn and Church Cottage and to writedocuments containing scandal or gossip about theirinhabitants.

1 4 A l i f e i n t h e d a y

Type of activitywhole claSs m6l6e then pair workretell ing a description of a half day's work to find theperson with the other half

Level/Time requiredupper intermedlate/average

Games materialTexts: A; B; C; D; E; Flnformation sheetPhotos

Function practiseddescribing daily routines

Structurespresent simple, passive

Lexical areaswork, leisure, hobbies

Problem vocabulary

A'. fiendish attachment, aromatic, vignettes, nonsense, well

brought-up, disarray, efficiency, grace, vying, dominance,deny, unsolicited, fabulous, zucchini

B: rssue chit-chat, minimalised, sensual gratification,

longhand, disbelief, suspended, indulgence

C: butl, take advantage, flatter, contours, macho,responsibility, glory, stress, foolish, shocked, tossed, ribs,

react

D'. superstitious, touch-up, dangling, criticism, failure, risk,

administration, logistics, calamities, recurring nightmares

E. exhausted, muck out, cereal, incentive, irritating,treatment, tack

F: invoices, debts, chap, tougher, effective, Iegal action,mucking out, cosmetics, shattered

How to use the activitY

Make enough copies of the six texts, A-F, for the students tohave one text each, with as much variety as possible in theclass. Copy one information sheet for each student. Makeenough copies of the sets of photos for half the class to haveone each, or alternatively one set to display r

Each of the texts, A-F, represents half a day (

after lunchtime) in the l ife of one of the threthe photos.Begin with a short discussion on what time <students l ike best and whY.

Give each student one text, ensuring that as far as possible

students get different texts. Try to ensure too, that each

student has a partner somewhere in the class, with the other

half of the day. lf you have an odd number of students,there wil l be one group of three rather than a pair.

Give each student an information sheet and ask them to

read their text and fi l l in the information sheet as far aspossible, although there wil l be some questions that they

cannot answer at this stage. While they are doing this,

circulate and deal with any problems and queries

When they have finished, ask them to stand up and walk

around the class, tell ing other people about their l i festyle,

hobbies and habits.The object of the activity is to find someone who they

think is their'other half"When they find this person, they should check with you and

then, if they are correct, they should go and sit together and

find out in detail how the missing half of the day is spent,

completing their information sheets.Finally, give each pair a set of photos and ask them to

identify which character is theirs. Alternatively you could

display one set of photos for all the students to look at.

Key: A and B, C and D, E and F.

Follow-up: Get students to write a letter or a diary entry

from the character, or imagine a dialogue between two of

the characters.

1 5 G u i l t y s e c r e t s

Type of activitYjigsaw in five groups then groups of f iveretell ing an anecdote and discussing reactions to it

Level/Time requiredupper intermediate/average

Games materialTexts: A Headmaster; B Novelist; C Writer; D Journalist; E

CartoonistWorksheet

Function practisednarrating past exPeriences


Lexical areasdaily l i fe: love, marriage, school, babycare, feelings,

emotions

Problem vocabularY

A Headmaster: headmaster, sin, essay, biography, moral,

heading, resist, cheat, guilty, error, arch rival, unbearable,anthology

Jovelist: astonishing, ravaged, nap, snack, extract, gush,

hpound, dilemma, cot, desperate, howling, choked,

nce, staggered, circumstances, dreadlocks, hesitation,

ms, dabble, gratitude, lick

Mriter: seriet receptive, sheer, tenacity, persistent, yell,

vitable, giggled, automatically, Pavlovian, insistent

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E Cartoonist: shin, characteristics, kick, crumpled, self-pity,ruin, threw up, reaction, hop, stool, consume, top up with,peer, letter flap, agony, casualty, grave, shamefacedly, limp,in plaster, haste, rival, trip


Make enough copies of the five texts, A-E, for the studentsto have one text each, with as much variety as possible in theclass. Copy one worksheet for each student.You might l ike to begin by tell ing the class a short anecdoteabout something embarrassing that happened to you. Unlessyour class know each other very well/are pretty uninhibited,it is probably better not to ask for personal revelations fromthem at th is point !Divide the class into five groups, A, B, C, D and E. Give text Ato each student in group A, text B to all those in group B,etc. Give each student a worksheet.Ask the students to read their text and complete section A oftheir worksheet, while you circulate and deal with anyproblems and queries. When they have finished, ask thestudents in each group to talk about their reactions to theincident: to discuss what the character involved felt at thetime and how he/she feels about the incident now,comparing their answers on the worksheet. Then regroupthe students into fives, so that each new group contains anA , a B , a C , a D a n d a n E .The object of the activity is for the students to tell theirstories to each other as if the experience had happenedto them, and to fill in section B of their worksheet asthey are listening to the others.After each anecdote the students should compare reactions.

Key: Answers will vary.

Follow-up: Students could write about a similar personalexperience, or if they don't feel l ike doing this, write a diaryentry for one of the characters for the day the incidentoccu rreo.

1 5 L o o s e m o r a l s

Type of activitywhole class m6l6e then pairsretell ing a fable and finding the appropriate moral

Level/Time requiredu pper intermediate/average

Games materialTexts: A The crow; B The mice; C The ass (1 ); D The ass(2); E The dove; F The bear; G The tortoise; H The maid; IThe miser; J The lion

Function practisednarrating a story

Structuresoast tenses

Lexical areasanimals

Problem vocabulary

A The crow: crow, pitcher, relieved, swiftly, stooped,strained, thereupon, overturn, alas, pebbles, creep, brim,quench, carry out

B The mice: ridding, rejected, tyrant, necessity, invention

C The ass (1): as1 humble, track, rounding a bend, bog,stumbling, clumsily, frantic, struggling, sink, mud, amidst,horde, leaping, woe, groaned, bray, piteously, sigh,splashed, mire, fuss, confidence, disaster

D The ass (2): ass, fruitless, hunting, padded, plump,foolishly, munching ,crunching, briar, perched, stile, rangy,cock, crowing, offended, bounded, haste, idly, plucked,galloped, mere, jungle, error, custom, familiar

E The dove: dove, ant, bubbling, blade, slipped, current,snatched, struggling, pity, distress, branch, delay,clambered, nimbly, stroll, trap, net, heel, take fright,misfortune, sincerity

F The bear: face to face with, fear, single-handed, match for,sniffing, courage, held his breath, perch, wisely, leave in thel r t r rh nnad h t rn

G The tortoise: tortoise, eagle, dusty, wheeling, circling,dissatisfied, long to, freedom, soar, swoop, ponder,discontented, enviously, seizing, favourable, opportunity,treasures, monarch, declined, task, absurd, pressed by,entreaties, height, loose, hold, bidding, misguided, dashedto pieces, hatched

H The maid: milkmaid, balancing, prospects, a tidy price,stock, spoil, gown, grand, seek out, shrug, toss, toppled,smashed, spilt, trickled, dust, overambitious, destroy

I The miser: miser, mean, goods, property, melted, solid,mass, buried, hoard, gloat, spy on, villain, went out of hismind, loss, crowd

J The lion: weakness, prey, den, condition, concern, beasftpay respects, wily, lair, renowned, cunning, consolation,bless you, uneasy, footsteps, emerging, riches


Make enough copies of the ten texts, AJ, for the students tohave one different text each. lf you have more than tenstudents, play the game in two or more groups. lf you havefewer than ten students in the class or group, leave out oneor more of the pairs of texts (A/8, C/D, E/F, C/H,l/J). (lf youhave an odd number of students a loose moral wil l beunavoidable! You wil l end up with one group of threeinstead of a pair.)Tell the students they are going to read fables or moral tales,mostly about animals. Ask them if they can think of proverbsor sayings from their cultures which involve animals, e.g. theearly bird catches the worm.Give each student a text and ask them to read the story andmemorise the details for retell ing, while you circulate andhelp with problems or diff iculties.When they have finished, tell them that the moral at thebottom of the story is not the right moral for that story. Theyshould walk around the class, tell ing their fable to otherstudents.The object of the activity is to find another student whohas a story which fits their moral.The students should not tell anyone their morals unti l theyhave found the right story.

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Follow-up: Students write a fable to i l lustrate the moralthey or ig inal ly had.

17 Roo t s

Type of activityj igsaw in three groups then groups of threereading and retell ing old family letters and completing afamily.tree

Leve/Time requiredTexts A and B:upper intermediate; Text C is easier/longer than average

Games materialFamily treeRole cards: Karen, Gary, Lucy, Alex, Tracey, JasonTexts: A Lily's wil l/Accompanying letter; B Cutting fromthe Pennine Bugle/Letter; C Letter

Function practisedtalking about past events

Structurespast tensesLexical areasfamily history, character, emotions

Problem vocabulary

A Lily's will: will, estate, arable, grazing, in my name, funeralexpenset death duties, exception, expression, carbolic soap,foul, cookpot, bethink, kettle, investments, in trust, capital

Accompanying letter: I am not long for this world, in mybonet sef the record straight, up to you, squabbling,bickering, the hereafter, set eyes on, treat, pack, heartache,inherit, fellsides, strength of character, property, memorial,rejected, pettiness, meanness, soured, raise a family, foolish,pride, humility, virtuous, respect, shed tearsB Cutting from the Pennine Bugle: scandal, detained,undercover regiment, den of corruption, sheeprustlingnetwork, issue, sfaferne nt, charges, persistence, decade,u n precedented, i nvestigations, stockbreeders, traders, acre,currently, alleged, rationing, widespread, black market,slaughter houses, accomplice, revolving round, barracks,maqistrate's court

Letter: operation, teething, worn out, clearing up, lining,capable of, fishy, blossom, folk, torture, bear to, set eyes on,owes

C Letter: fells, a wink of sleep, overdue, another living soul,pregnant, on account of, in the family way, bore a child, outof wedlock, jealousy, barren, stroke, quarrelsome

= How to use the activitY

Make enough copies of text A for one third of the studentsto have a copy each, and the same for texts B and C.Ask students how far back they can name people from theirfamily. How much do they know about their ancestors?Divide the class into three groups, A, B, and C. Within eachgroup divide the students into pairs so that as far as possibleeveryone is working with a partner.Tell the students that they all come from a large family, andthe three groups they are in represent three differentbranches of the family. Unfortunately, because of some oldfamily feuds, the three branches do not know each other.Their task is to find out as much as oossible about theirancestors and discover what happened in the past.Give each student a copy of the family tree and a role card asfollows:Group A pairs: Karen, GaryGroup B pairs: Lucy, AlexGroup C pairs: Tracey, JasonGive them some time to read their card and to fi l l in theirfamily tree with as much information as possible. They candiscuss and compare notes in their pairs.Then tell them that some documents about their family haverecently come to l ight: group A have found an old wil l andletter (text A), group B have found a newspaper cutting withnote attached (text B), and group C have an old unpostedletter (text C). Give each group copies of the relevant text.Allow them time to read and discuss the texts and tocomplete the family tree as far as possible. Go round andgive help as required.When they have finished, regroup the students into threes,so that each new group contains an A, a B, and a C.The object of the activity is to tell each other whatfamily scandals they have unearthed, and to finishcompleting their family trees,

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Follow-up: Write letters to other members of their family

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Make enough copies of the family tree for the students tohave one each. Make enough copies of each of the six rolecards for one sixth of the students to have a copy each.

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1 8 G h o s t s t o r i e s

Type of activitytwo groups then pairworkretell ing a ghost story and finding the ending


Games materialTexts: On the Brighton road; The clockEndings: A, B

Function practisednarrating a story


Lexical areashouse, landscape

Problem vocabulary

On the Brighton road. downs, sparkling, blended, keenness,alternation, vacant, limbs, grimly, loitered, stooping, huskily,lonesome, limping, casually, dog-tired, knocking about, hay,smack in your face, lurched, doubtfully, strained,pneumonia, workhouse, winked, vanished

The clock: waylaid, bounded, flagged, conveys, quilts,vibration, mechanism, motion, indentation, reluctantly,capacious, pull myself together, winding-screw, runningdown, fumble, hopping, scratching

A. splashed, thawing, begged, crept, trudging, slushy,{ . ^ ^ : t ^ ^ ^ L ^ - +t t a y u E , a y r t d > L

B: grip, negotiated, sash-window, fainting fit


Make enough copies of the text 'On the Brighton road' andending B for half the students in your class and enoughcopies of the text 'The clock' and ending A for the other half ,Begin by asking the students if they believe in ghosts. Dothey know any ghost stories?Divide the class into two groups, A and B. Give each studentin group A a copy of the text 'On the Brighton road' and giveeach student in group B 'The clock'. lf you have a large class,subdivide the two large groups into smaller groups to readand discuss the story. Tell them their stories are incompleteand ask them to th ink up a sui tably chi l l ing ending to thestory.When they have discussed this, give each student in group Aa copy of the ending to the other group's story (ending B)and each student in group B a copy of ending A. Ask themto discuss what they think came before it.Then regroup the students in pairs, so that each paircontains an A and a B, and ask them to retell their stories.The object of the activity is for each to contribute theending to the other's story.Which were better, the real endings or their imagined ones?

Follow-up: Students could write their own ghost stories. ltmight help to stimulate their imagination if you give them alist of elements to include, e.g. an old house, a portrait of anold gentleman, a bell, a creaking floorboard, a locked room.Alternatively, you could bring in a set of 'props': an oldphoto, a train ticket, a lace handkerchief, a pipe, etc.

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1 9 M u r d e r i n t h e l i b r a r y

Type of activityj igsaw in three groups then groups of threeretell ing a story and solving a murder mystery


Games materialTexts; A What the butler saw; B What the maid heard;C What the vicar feltWorksheet

Functions practisednarration, hypothesis

Structurespast tenses, conditionals, could have, might have, mayhave, can't have

Lexical areascharacter. emotions

Problem vocabulary

A What the butler saw. parlour, furious, flirting, intimate,port, appealingly, surreptitiously, billiard room, ballroom,glimpse, urgent, piercing, gasped, fainted, decanter,smashed, stubs, candlestick, conservatory, unconscious,rushing

B What the maid heard: forma[ row, cast off, sobbing,rushed, slammed, overhearing, mean, gambling, short ofmoney, peeped, dashing, velvet, look like thunder,passionately, intimate, broke up, retired, embarrassed,muttered, murder, footsteps, piercing, gasped, fainted

C What the vicar felt: confide in, express, congratulate,affect, will, in favour of, conscious, strained, atmosphere,tiff, thundercloud, broach the subject, endeavoured,anecdote, retire, snooker, urgent, port, parlour, distasteful,stroll, composing, slamming, grunted, strode, shrubbery,chime, terrace, aware, flash, strike


Make enough copies of text A for one third of the studentsto have a copy each, and the same for texts B and C. Makeone copy of the worksheet for each student.

Give the class a l itt le background to the story: a murderhappened in a country house last night. They are going toread an account of what happened from the point of view ofsomeone who was there at the time: the butler, the maid orthe vicar.Divide the class into three groups, A, B and C. Give text A toeach student in group A, text B to all those in group B andtext C to all those in group C. Give out the same worksheetto all the students, but tell them that they wil l not be able to

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Key: 1 kitchen - Velvet, dining room, parlour - oldArchibald, Myrtle Berry and Dame Christie, staircase, hall -

Charlotte, terrace - Jeffery (garden) and Reverend Truelove,conservatory - Daphne and young Archibald, l ibrary - MissTopless?, Mrs Horsehair (the body), bil lard room - MrOscarsson and Miss Topless?, ballroom - Miss Topless?. 2Charlotte - the maid. Velvet - the butler, Reverend Truelove- the local vicar, Mildred Horsehair - a rich widow in her 40s(the owner of the house), Daphne - the niece, Jeffery - theson, Oscar Oscarsson - an influential but impoverished fi lmdirector, young Archibald - a dashing but penniless youngman, old Archibald - a neighbour, Myrtle Berry - anAmerican lady, Agatha Christie - a lady novelist, Alice B.Topless - an actress. 3 Daphne and young Archibald mightmurder Mrs Horsehair because Daphne would lose herinheritance if she married young Archibald; Jeffery becausehe would lose his inheritance if his mother marriedOscarsson; Miss Topless because she was jealous of MrsHorsehair's relationship with Oscarsson. Solution - Themurderer was Alice B. Topless. She was the only one wearingblue who was a lone and unobserved at 10.00 p.m. (Daphnewas with Archibald in the conservatory and Jeffery left thehouse by the front door a minute or so before the murder.)Mrs Horsehair left the ballroom after a row with oscarssonand Topless and went to the l ibrary, where she had anotherrow with Jeffery, who left the house by the front door. MissTopless came in by the bil l iard room door, hit Mrs Horsehairon the head with a candlestick and left. with the murderweapon, by the window. In the grounds she found the vicarand hit him over the head too with the candlestick. She thenwent back into the house by the front door. Her motive wasjealousy of Oscarsson's relationship with Mrs Horsehair.

Follow-up: Students could write a police report giving thereasoning behind the arrest of Miss Topless, a policeinterview with Miss Topless, a newspaper interview with oneof the characters or a newspaper report on the murder.

2 0 B e l i e v e o r no t

Type of activitywhole class m6l6e then pairs or groupsretell ing information about the paranormal andcompleting a worksheet

Level/Time requiredupper intermediate/longer than average

Games materialTexts: Introductory text; A Bermuda triangle; B Corncircles; C Cryptozoology; D UFOs; E Cold reading; FPsychic detectives; G Telepathy; H BiorhythmsWorksheet

Function practiseddefining and explaining, justifying, giving reasons

Structuresvarious past and present tenses, razouid

Lexical areasthe supernatural

Problem vocabulary

lntroductory texl: fiver, adept, sleight of hand, hoaxers,sceptic, tambourine, tabloid, peddling, gullible

A Bermuda triangle: kicking round, allegedly, mysteriously,without trace, flying saucers, crews, astral, embellished,inaccurate, explicable, alLtime favourite, manned, peril,compass, malfunctioned, guidance, promulgators

B Corn circles: corn circles, visible, hoaxers, battier, fake,outer space, fairyland, self-confessed, by the same token,elves, Santa, anguishing, psychic, aliens

C Cryptozoology: non-existent, mysterious, scintilla,untraceable, suspiciously, duplicate, hoaxes, otters, serpent,deer, refraction, atmospheric, flipper, monster, prehistoric,extrapolated, retouched, computer-enhanced, vastness,i nca pa ble, sha m bling, ora ng-utan

D UFOs: littering, alien, refracted, haze, regrettably, civilian,spot (= see), skipped, experimental psychologist,civilisations, galaxy, infrequent, conquer, investigating,claimed, subsequent, invisible, entities

E Cold reading: technique, innumerable, charlatans,palmists, fortune tellers, spiritualists, astrologers, cunning,acute observation, suspension, scepticism, fraud, parlayed,medium, session, mass gathering, inevitably, turned to heradvantage, rotten, fake, cosy, distressed, miraculous,mightily, blamed, lines crossed, goodwill, scorned,specta cu I a rly, powe rf u l, occa si o n

F Psychic detectives: forensic, high-profile, bogged down,medium, credits herself, pursuit, arrested, killer, bore noresemblance to, wrought iron, victim, mercifully, validated,endorse. evidence

G Telepathy: limited, knowledge, educated guess, smugly,wonder, consistency, amateurs, mindreaders, initially,conditions, invariably, stringent, mentalist, odd (number),digit, survey

H Biorhythms: dominated, cycle, calculator, alleged, thereverse, common factor, peak, researchers, survives, quoted,proponents, cash in on, subject to, iet lag, menstrual cycle,phenomena, advocates, citing, specific, tournaments,evidence

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Make enough copies of the introductory text and worksheetfor each student. Make enough copies of the eight texts, A-H. for the students to have one text each. with as muchvariety as possible in the class.Give everyone in the class a copy of the introductory text.Ask them as quickly as possible to l ist:1. The examples given of paranormal wonders2. The examples given of rational scientif ic wonders3. Reasons for not accepting paranormal phenomenaCollect suggestions and draw up three l ists on the board.You may like to have a short introductory discussion basedon the class l ist of paranormal wonder.s: what do they feelare possible rational explanations for these phenomena?Keeo the discussion brief at this staoe.Give orit one text to each student, Jnsuring that as manydifferent texts as possible are used. Give everyone a copy ofthe worksheet and ask them to read their text and completethe worksheet for their text. While they are reading, movearound the class dealing with problems as they arise.When everyone seems to have finished, ask them all to getup and move around the class asking for information aboutparanormal phenomena.The object of the activity is to get enough informationto complete their worksheets,When they have completed their worksheet they should sitdown and compare their results with the person sitting next tothem. When most people have finished, put them into groupsof three or four and ask them to discuss the variousphenomena listed on the worksheet: who believes in what? Dothey accept the paranormal explanation or the scientific one?

Key: A i) An area of sea where planes and ships disappear;i i) many disasters documented, e.g. f l ight 19 - 5 planesvanished for no reason; i i i) l ieutenant unfamiliar with area,two compasses malfunctioned, lost with too l itt le fuel. B i)Circles appearing in crop fields; i i) many appear in fields;i i i) twelve teams created circles at night proving they couldbe done by hoaxers. C i) Study of mysterious creatures e.g.Loch Ness monster, yeti; i i) photos and sightings of 'Nessie';

i i i) photos could be duplicated with models or computerenhanced negatives, yeti could be a bear. D i) Unidentif iedflying objects; i i) many accounts, e.g. Arnold (47) saw amoving object, Adamski met a Venusian; i i i) most solarsystems are 200 light years away, this would make visits veryinfrequent. E i) Dead people speaking through a medium;ii) l isteners are impressed, messages seem to be for them;ii i) general statements are made which could apply toanyone, some guesses are inevitably correct, Mrs Stokes'husband relayed information to her, customer has paidmoney and is anxious to succeed. F i) Psychics assist withpolice enquiries; i i) mediums do seem to strike lucky, e.g.Nella Jones drew a kil ler's face and described where heworked and lived and predicted two more murders; i i i) herdrawing bore no resemblance and she was wrong about theaddress and the murders" G i) Communication between twopeople without using the five senses; ii) 25% of Americansclaim to have a telepathic experience, e.g. knowing who ison the phone; i i i) i t is not surprising we can occasionallyguess who is call ing, we tend to forget wrong guesses, not asingle repeatable controlled experiment has been performed.H i) Our l ives are dominated by three fixed cycles which

begin on our birthday; i i) allegedly tested by threeresearchers; i i i) all evidence stolen, a 1979 study found noevidence.

Follow-up: Students could write a summary of all theinformation they have collected, based on the notes on theirworksheet.

2 1 T r o u b l e w i t h m e n ,f r o g s , s h o e s a n d s i s t e r s

Type of activitywhole class m6l6e then four small groups then pairworkretell ing part of a story and finding the other sections

Leve/Time requ.iredupper intermediate/longer than average

Games materialTexts: A The frog prince; B The frog maiden;C Cinderella; D Beauty and Pock Face

Function practisednarrating a fairystory

Structuresvarious past tenses

Lexical areasmagic, home life

Problem vocabulary

A The frog prince: gloomy, midst, foliage, fountain,wearisome, weep, melt, stretching, paddler, pearls,playfellow, chattering, croaking, dipped, seizing, hastily,giant, hopped, obliged, relish, despised, passion, consent,condemned, woe, sorrow, bound, restoredB The frog maiden: ill-treating, ceremony, raiment,mockingly, adamant, posy, jasmine, expectantly, hermit,deer, task, rubbed, pleaded, heir, powdering, chamber,m a id e n, successol, accede. toC Cinderella: guardian angel, maiden, dazzling, drapery, evil-minded, malicious, envious, obliged, scorn, ashes, smutty,cinders, fair, twig, tears, weep, perch, ball, trim, begged,shovelful, seeds, doves, twittering, swarm, fret, disgrace,glittering, bound, dingy, gilded, stratagem, strewed, pitch,proclamation, rage, disregarded, contrivedD Beauty and Pock Face: pock marks, spoilt, hemp, stack,mast seedt flesh, smashed, crack, slipped off, ditch,dismount, quandary, stink, scholar, merchant, pay respectsto, attentive, well, shove, lost consciousness, suffering,smallpox, delicacies, deception, monster, disown, tender,console, weeping, sparrow, mystified, shoots, bamboo,ulcer, pricked, clasped, dispersed, soul, entrails,embroidered, maddened, grumble, spirit, scratch, cauldron


Make one copy of each of the four fairytales, A-D, and cutthem up into as many sections as there are students in yourclass, trying to ensure a roughly equal number of sectionsper story. For example, if you have twenty students, cut eachstory into five approximately equal sections, if you have

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twelve students, cut each story into three and so on. Thenumbers in brackets at the end of sections of the texts (3, 4or 5) indicate where to cut them for different numbers ofstudents.Begin by asking the students What is a fairytale? What arethe main elements of a fairytale.Give out the story sections at random so that students haveone section each and give them time to read their sectionand ask you any questions if necessary.The object of the first activity is to try to get into four groupscorresponding to the four stories.Tell the students that they have sections from four differentstories. Do not give them the tit les of the stories at thisstage, but tell them that one student in each group wil lknow the tit le of the story. They wil l have to move aroundthe room tqll ing other students about the characters in theirstory and maybe the gist of what is in their section,Emphasise tlrat they should do this as briefly as possible, onlygiving the barest essential information to enable them todecide which story they belong to.When they have got into four groups, you can ask eachgroup to tell the others the tit le of their story. Some studentsmay want to change groups at this stage.Then ask them to retell their section of the story to theothers in the group. They should not read it out but retell theevents in their own words. (Some students may decide theyshould be in a different story at this point too!)The object of the activity is to place themselves in anorder corresponding to the order of the sections in thestory, and then retell the whole story from thebeginning to check.When they have arrived at what they think is the correctorder they may like to place their slips of paper on theground and read the story through to check.Finally, merge the four groups into two, putting groups Aand B (The frog prince and The frog maiden) together andgroups C and D (Cinderella and Beauty and Pock Face)together. Ask the students to get into pairs with someonewith a different storv and tell each other their storv.

Key: The sections of the stories go together as on theoriginal Games material pages.

Follow-up: Give the students elements of a fairytale (e.9. asnake, egg, magic key, forest, prince, castle, etc.) and askthem to make up their own. Alternatively, ask them tochoose one of the four fairvtales and to 'modernise' it: howcould it be uodated?

22 Ho roscope

Type of activitywhole class m616eretell ing a horoscope, and looking for someone who cantell you your own

Leve/Time requiredadvanced/average

Games materialTexts: Western horoscopes - Aries, Taurus, Gemini,Cancer, Leo, Virgo, Libra, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Capricorn,Aquarius, Pisces; Chinese horoscopes - Rat, Ox, Tiger,Hare, Dragon, Snake, Horse, Sheep, Monkey, Rooster.Dog. PigWorksheet

Function practisedtalking about character and emotions

Structurespresent simple, may, will, imperative

Lexical areascharacter, emotions

Problem vocabulary

Aries pa radox, rash, conventional, idealistic, ha rd-headed,abrupt, arrogant, frank, charge, trample, daisy, self4oubt,conflict, halting, passion, expertise, plodding,sfafistrcs,u n com m u n i ca ti ve, I aya bouts

Taurus: sensua/tstt domain, coerce, cross someone,ea rthqua ke, stubborn, ponderous, persistent, conduct,ca pacity, rage, demolition, tenacity, hustle, fa i r-weatherfriends, pushy

Gemini: different as chalk and cheese, duality, twefaced,wits, affable, gregarious, chilly, disgruntled, profile,insatiable, urge, restless, skim, glibly, gaily, versatility, hung-up, illogical

Cancer: swirling, ebbing and flowing, calculate the odds,gruff, judicious, caution, stops them in their tracks,pe rspicacity, exceptional, immerse, unwaveri ng, tenacity,inquisitive, capricious, untrustworthy, rebuff

Leo: benevolent, despot, lordly, conduct, patronizing,superiority, flaxery, pompously, snobbishly, posturing,mean-spirited, petty, I unatic, extravag ance, inhibited, bei ngdictated to, outdo

Virgo: purstt loners, impeccable, iudgement, reserved,down-to-earth, industry ft hard work), keen intellect,dedication, trim, immaculate, diligent, methodically,objectives, dedication, pretentious, pomposity

Libra: predictability, unsophisticated, device, tactful,cond uct, defect, su perficiality, i nha rmonious, pride, passion,eleg a nt, pe rf ectly tu ned, ha rmo ny, d iscou rteo u s, f re a kish,inconsistent, unjust

Scorpio: misunderstood, ruthless, intensity, count the cost,mysterious, hunches, intuition, compelling, revenge, loyal,thrive, victory, motivating, stuffy, insincerity, deliberately

Sagittarius: crude, unbridled, tact, delicacy, superficial,touchy, jovial, breezy, exuberance, frosty, undemocratic,gloomy

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Capricorn: one-track mind, prestige, financial recognition,materialistic, illustrate, trim, wiry, endurance, survival,agility, persevering, motivating, tradition, talk down to,irresponsible, frivolous, nag

Aquarius: idealist, melt, shocked, cheerily, hard facts,altruistic, spontaneous, utopian, eccentrically, individualistic,inventiveness, motivating, spirit, orthodoxy, conventionalstandards

Pisces: conflrcting forces, spiritual, idealism, tentative,hesitant, conduct, vague, defect, worldliness, intensity,m isplaced, motivati ng, i ntolera nce

Rat: ad a pta b I e, c re ative, f I a i r, i nve ntive n ess, q u ick-witted,sociable, ostentatiousness, appealing, crafty, opportunist,erratic, budgeting, scarce, lavishly

Ox: stegdfasf, m ethod i ca l, su s pi cio us, u nt ried, u n p rove n,reliable, take the initiative, dependable, authority,administrative, flair, unromatig se/ect (adj), acquaintances,loyal, possessive, prosperity, risk, logical, resolute,practica I ity, e nd u ra nce, routi ne, patie nce

figer: competitive, easily influenced, authority, disputed,stimulant, novel (= new), paraded, bravery, rashness,impetuosity, hall-marks, ardent, restrained, convention,strea k, pe rson nel, m a n ne r

Ha re : esfab/rsh ed, re se rved, with d rawn, s u bm i ssive, h u m ble,co nf ro ntatio n s, be n evo I e nt, cl ea r-si g hted ness, j u d g e,instinct, sincerity, sensing, falsehood, healers

D ra gon : exoti c, f I a m boya ntly, extrove rt, eleg a nt, fo ref ro n t,fertile, dream up, schemes, practical, despair, chaos,fragments, abandoned, decisive, spectacular gains, offset,adulation, the bright light1 seek out, sphere (= area)Snake: byno means, pushy, adept, averse to, double-dealing, scandal, to be above something, aptitude, research,detection, academi a, a nalytica I

Horse: overawed, worship, disdain, relate to, team effort,gang, force, liaison

Shee p : a ffectio n, t r u st, ca ri n g, se lf le ssn ess, crafts m a n sh i p,originality, complacent, confrontation, diplomatic,aggression, operates, crisis, guidance, voluntarily

M on key: i nve ntive, ag i I e, i n sati a b I e cu riosity, q u ick-witted,schemer, at a loss, fundamental insecurity, mask,impudence, take seriously, recognition, frustration, channeltheir energies, fertile, counterfeiter, versatile, go to his head,arrogance, alienates, humour, sociability

Rooster: abrasive, aggressive, resolute, shrewd, alert,p recise, rese rved, n eg I ected, sta m i n a, v ita I ity, co ntr i bute,stimulating, perfectionist, tolerance, second-rate

Dog. fidelity, humour, steady, trusted, valued, handicapped,conservatism, adjust, defensive, maligned, shoulder to cryon, displays, justified, be relied on, friction, eagerness, mix(socially)

Pig: ambitions, benefits, prime concern, shunning, displays,pretence, jollity, caring, industrious, bear evidence, aptitude,carpentry, needlework, put the last touches to, naive,trusting, easy prey, confidence trickster, caring professions,cou nsel I ing, hospitable, va ried


Make at least one copy of each text (see below for details ofquantit ies and distribution, according to class size). Makeenough copies of the worksheet for each student to haveone each.

Begin by discussing horoscopes. Get the students to workout what star sign and year animal they are, if they don'talready know:

Ar ies 21 March - 20 Apr i l , Taurus 21 Apr i l - 21 May, Gemini22 May - 21 June, Cancer 22 )une - 23 )uly, Leo 24 July -23 August, Virgo 24 August - 23 September, Libra 24September - 23 October, Scorpio 24 Oclober - 22November, Sagittarius 23 November - 21 December,Capricorn 22 December - 20 January, Aquarius 21 January -19 February, Pisces 20 February - 20 March

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Pig 1935 1947 1959

1972 1984 19961973 1985 19971974 1986 i9981975 1987 1999

1976 1988 20001977 1989 20011966 1978 19901967 1979 19911968 1980 1992

1969 I981 19931970 1982 1994

1971 1983 1995

Give out the texts. There are twenty-four altogether (twelveWestern horoscopes and twelve Chinese horoscopes) andyou should ensure that they are all given out. lf you havetwelve students, give everyone two texts: a Westernhoroscope and a Chinese horoscope. lf you have twenty-fouror more students, give everyone one text each. lf you havebetween twelve and twenty-four students, give the fasterstudents two texts and the slower students one text. Theactivity is not really suitable for fewer than twelve because ofthe length and density of reading matter. lf you do not haveenough students in your class, see if you can combine classeswith a colleague.Try to ensure that no one gets the horoscope for their ownstar sign or year animal. Give them some time to read thetexts, asking you for help if necessary.Give each student a copy of the worksheet,and ask them tocomplete it. While they are completing the worksheet,circulate and deal with problems and queries.When they have finished, ask them to stand up and goaround the class talking to other students.The object of the activity is to find the person who cantell them their Western horoscope and the person whocan tell them their Chinese horoscope.You could finish off with a class or group discussion onwhether the two analyses were similar or totally different,which was closer to the truth. etc.

Key: Answers to the worksheet will vary.

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2 3 D r e a m m e r c h a n t sType of activitywhole class m616eretell ing a dream and finding the interpretation

Level/Time requiredadvanced (though dream texts are easier thanalmanacs)/longer than average

Games materialDream almanacs A, B, C, D, EDreams 1-5

Function practisednarrating past events, predicting the future

Structurespast tenses, wrl/, present simple, lf

Lexical areastownscapes, landscapes, animals, emotions

Problem vocabulary

Dream almanac A: denotes, unsettled, locality, acorns,betokens, abundance, omen, prosperity, speedy, recovery,sly, crafty, caution, almonds, relish, undertaking,prosperous, enterprise, speculation, penetrates, scheming,arrow, bats, rival, hardships, accomplished, achieved,overcoming, foe, contradiction, debilitate, residence,bounty, foretells, ardently, acquirement, fortune,advancement, muddy, labour, beware, disaster, indication,pecu n ia ry, fortu ne, del ay

Dream almanacB: brambles, injured, overcome, duration,abundance, posterity, sufficiency, affliction, sorrow,contradiction, forerunner, grief, foretell, deceive,impediment, undertakings, prosper, hasty, burdens,drsasters, heroism, rid, feasting, rejoicing, portends, snuffed,grazing, cattle, affluence, diligent, industrious, violent,enable, eminent, speedy, misfortune, roughly, suspended,sorrow, prosperity, corn, omen, perennial honeymoon,stumble, temporal, imprudence, ultimate, regain,reputation, favour, honour, desire

Dream almanacC: boisterous, trials, echo, proposed, idolize,trade, advancement, rotten, treacherous, abode, gaze,flourish, betokens, contradiction, cautious, procedure, fair,portends, negligence, rivalry, fairy, falcon, envy, injuring,eminence, precipice, bestow, embarrassment, mushroom,evergreen, perennial, advancement, bequeath, partaking,unengaged

Dream almanacD: affliction, fawn, deer, inconstancy,fruitfulness, fever, circumstances, fragrant, indication,undertake, bind, bouquet, scattered, sanguine, blasted,denotes, trade, aspire, qualified, applied, assrstance,speculating, shares, ruin, vanish, labour, toil, lucrative,virtuous, disposition, industrious, betokens, thwarted,foretells, desolate, fertile, vegetation, implies, favourable,match, harbinger, adorned, speedy, inspecting, fortunate,flourishing, import, ambition, portent, honour, glory, climaxD rea m a I ma na c E: ex pecta tio ns, sava g e, overcome,reception, destined, crowned with, virtuous, foretells,denotes, trade, prosperity, flowing, abundance, cattle,crops, quft, commence, on your own account, portends,

reunion, betokens, stirring, favourable, gaze, ocean, turbid,a u g u rs, a cco m pl ish m e nt, d evo utly, prog nosti cates,foreshows, courtship, matrimony, mutual, endearing,parrot, emigrate, cultivate, amass, honour, secure, esteem,reside, populous, flourishing, triumph, portends, rainbow,muddy, unblemished, harassed, unscathed

Dream 1: sfeep, brambles, scratched, thorns, orchard,almonds, laden, ladder, surrounded

Dream 2: desert, bats, crouched, beaks, mirage, floated,orchards, rocked, fertile, brilliant, inland, dense, parrots

Dream 3: towers, bustling, galloping, cornfield

Dream 4: candle, leopard, struggle, enormous, growling,snarling, wounded, bleeding, scrambled, rainbow

Dream 5: alligator, jaws, snap, eluded, stumbled, tripped,consciousness, a I m o nd s


Make enough copies of each of the ten texts, Dream almanacsA-E and Dreams 1 -5, for one tenth of the students.Begin by asking the students if they can remember any vividor interesting dreams they have had. Ask them to tell eachother in pairs. Do they have any interpretations of theirdream: what did it mean to them? Tell them that they aregoing to find out some traditional explanations for thesymbols in dreams from a book called O/d Moore's DreamAlmanack.Divide the class in two. Half the class wil l be dreammerchants, and half wil l be dreamers. Make sure there are atleast f ive people in the merchants group, even if i t means thetwo groups are uneven in size. Divide the merchants groupinto five sub-groups and give each sub-group a text. DreamalmanacA B C D or E. Give each person in the dreamersgroup a dream 1 2 3 4 or 5, making sure as many differentdreams as possible are distributed. Give them some time toread their text and go round helping with problems as theycome uo.Then seat each of the five dream merchants groups at desksspaced around the room. Ask the dreamers to stand up. Tellthem they are in a market where the dream merchants aresell ing various interpretations of dreams.The object of the activity is to go round the fivemerchants and find out what their dream means.When all the dreamers have been round and found themeaning of the symbols in their dreams, you can if you l ikeswap roles so the dreamers are now merchants and viceversa. Alternatively you can round the activity off by askingfive dreamers to recount their dreams and exolain themeaning. This can lead into a group discussion on theinteroretation of dreams.

Key: Dream 1 - diff icult ies and problems in l ife wil l beovercome. You wil l be successful in trade and love. wil lbecome rich, travel to a foreign land and marry a foreigner,recover from an il lness and reach the height of ambition.Dream 2 - A diff icult journey, dangerous. An enemy. Thesewill be overcome and you wil l have happiness in love andprosperity, marriage and good fortune, although one loverwil l be unfaithful. You wil l travel to a foreign country andhave two children, a boy and a girl. Dream 3 - You wil l haveenough money to travel and see the world. You wil l have

success in trade and love, a happy marriage, money andgood children. There wil l be good news - you wil l be marriedsoon and life wil l be a perennial honeymoon. A numerousfamily! Dream 4 - You wil l get a pleasant letter soon andhear news which wil l cause you to leave your job and travelto a foreign lane. You wil l have diff iculties but wil l overcomethem and be happy and prosperous. A change for the better.Dream 5 - You have an enemy and are entering a period ofuncertainty but it wil l end. You wil l marry a rich foreignerand live in a foreign country. You wil l be rich, have a longand happy life and be successful,

Follow-up: Students can write an account of a dream theyonce had. Alternatively, play some gentle music and askthem to close their eyes and 'dream' and write up the dreamafterwards.

2 4 P o l i t i c a l l y c o r r e c t

Type of activitysix groups then whole class m6l6efinding out definit ions of polit ically correct terms andfil l ing in speech bubbles in cartoons

Level/Time requiredadvanced/shorter tha n average

Games materialTexts: The polit ically correct dictionary A-FCartoon worksheet

Function practisedf inding euphemisms

Structuresvarious, past participle as adjective

Lexical areasthe socially disadvantaged

Problem vocabulary

A: dentation, canine, cerebrally, inconvenienced, chemically,ch ro nol og ica I ly, red u nd a n cy

B: advantaged, logical, incarceration, survivor

C: finalization, ethically, disorientated, experientially,enhanced, follicle, horizontally, challenged

D. transition, idled, indefinitely, unmet, objectives,inoperative, involuntarily, leisured, undomiciled

E. metabolically, motivationally, deficient, outcome,optically, i nconven ienced

F'. sobriety, adjustment, pharmacological, awareness,temporally, terminally, inconvenienced, vertically, challenged


Make a copy of the cartoon worksheet for each student.Make enough copies of text A for one sixth of the studentsto have a copy each, and the same for texts B, C, D, E and FGive each student a copy of the worksheet and ask them tolook at the first cartoon. Explain the idea of 'polit ically

correct' language - language that avoids crit icising ormaking value judgements about people's shortcomings or

deficiencies. Ask the students if they can guess the meaningof some of the following examples, taken from the texts.How would they normally describe someone who is:hair disadvantaged; an incomplete success; opticallyinconvenienced; in a reduced state of awareness?Then divide the class into six groups, A, B, C, D, E and F. Givetext A to each student in group A, text B to all those in groupB and so on. Tell them that the definit ions are in muddledorder and that their job as a group is to match eachpolit ically correct phrase with its definit ion. Go round andhelp as necessary. (They may need dictionaries - ordinaryones! - to help with some of the terms.)When they have finished and correctly matched each phrasewith its definit ion, ask them to look at their cartoonworksheet.The object of the activity is to fill in the speech bubbleswith the appropriate'translation' in'correct' language.To do this, they wil l have to get up and move around theclass asking people from other groups to translate words orphrases for them.Round the activity off by returning everyone to their groupsand asking them to compare cartoons.

Key: A fat, false teeth, deaf, dog living in USA, redundancy.stupid, boring, drunk, old; B poor, boring, wrong, fat, l iar,antisocial, housewife. housework, housewife; C unfinished,crazy, dishonest, old, bald, bald, fat; D unemployed, failure,unemployed, failure, mistake, unemployed, homeless, worst;E dead, evil, lazy, death, corpse, spendthrift, shoplifeter,blind; F drunk, recession, serial kil ler, addiction, drunk, late,dead, homeless, short

Worksheet 1 ' l 'm afraid your canine American is terminallyinconvenienced/metabolically different'; 2' l 'munderhoused/involuntarily undomiciled and in an orderlytransition between career changes/indef initelyidled/involuntarily leisured.'; 3 'Your l itt le boy is ethicallydisorientated, cerebrally challenged, motivationally def icientand morally different. '; 4 'vertically and horizontall;challenged/differently sized.'; 5'terminally inconvenienced... just in a reduced state of awareness/metabolicallydifferent/chemically inconvenienced.'; 6'You're horizontallychallenged/differently sized. differently interesting/charmfree, foll icularly challenged/hair disadvantaged, experientiallyenhanced/chronologically challenged and an incompletesuccess/individual with tempora ri ly unmet objectives.'

Follow-up: Each group could design its own cartoon

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I did very badly at school. Myheadmaster thought I wasuseless and when I was 14 he

said, 'You' re never going to beanything but a failure.'

After five years in dead-endjobs, Ifell in love with a very nice middle-class student. It was the best thing thatcould have happened to me. I decided Iwanted to do something positive withmy life because I wanted to prove toher that what people said about me waswron!. Especially her mother, who hadsaid to me, 'Let's face it, you've failedat everything you've ever done.' So Itried hard with my writing and went tocollege. My first novel was publishedwhile I was at college.

After college I taught during theday in secondary schools and signed upas an evening class student at London

University, where I got a degree insociology and social psychology. Ibecame a senior lecturer at a teachertraining college and was thinking ofgiving up that job to write full timewhen I was offered a part-time job atLeeds University. It was really goodfor my ego - here was a working-classboy who'd le f t school ear ly , nowteaching at the university.

My writing career only took offwhen I invented a new name andchanged my style. Until then I wastrying to copy other people and for thefirst time I discovered my own style.

Up till then I was selling about3500 copies in hardback of each novel.Then I started on a new book.

My editor rang up and asked whatI was working on. I told him I waswritine a book in which some Germans

disguised as British paratroopers try tokidnap Winston Churchill. He said,'That's the worst idea I've ever heard.Who's in terested in a bunch ofGermans t ry ing to get WinstonChurchil l?' Well 13 mill ion peoplewere interested.

I've never got such pleasure fromwri t ing. I don' t know what mymotivation is - I'm not writing for themoney now. I don't need it. I've madeabout f,10 million in the past 10 years.I'm rich and famous, I've been on TV,been to Buckingham Palace, met lots offilm stars. But what does it mean? I justwish all the people that haveput me down had said, 'I likeyou. I believe in you. I'm onyour side.'

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When I left drama school Ithought I was wonderful. So Iwent to New York to look for a

job. My problem was that I didn't lookIndian enough for the Indian parts and Ididn't look Western enough to be castin Western par ts . And I wasn' tvoluptuous enough to be a film star inIndia.

I got a job at 10 dollars a week,agreeing to cook and iron for a filmdirector. Every two or three years I'dget a little part in a film. In one play Igot the lead role, but it closed after aweek. I used to go to auditions wherethere'd be 200 people, and I'd neverget a part. So I would go home totallydepressed.

By this time I had three childrenand one day I happened to read mydaughter's school essay on her mother:'Eight o'clock my mother is asleep,nine o'clock my mother is asleep, 10o ' c l ock my mo the r i s as leep , 11o'clock ...' I would get up, feed themand then go back to bed. I just couldn'tface l ife. It was even hard to getauditions: no one would look at mebecause I was the wrong type. Noagent would take me on. I thought of

giving up but something made me goon and I kept repeating to myself, 'I'm

not going to give up'.

There came a time when I wouldgo into an agent's office and just burstinto tears. One agent tried to get me tosleep with him and when I said, 'No,'

he said that I wouldn't get any workbecause my nose was too big. Then Imet a film director who asked me to actin a f i lm about a t roupe of actorstravell ing around India performingShakespeare. We made it and I didn'texpect anything to happen but suddenlyI won the Best Actress Award at theBerlin Film Festival. I thought, 'I've

finally done it. ' But it led nowhere.That was the biggest disappointment. Ihad some dreadful part-t ime jobs -

working a telex, modelling ... Three orfour years passed before I got anyacting at all.

My marriage broke up and Iremarried. I used to cook and entertaina lot and someone suggested that I do acookery book. I agreed thinking i lwould take me three months. It tookfive years! The cookery book careerslowly began to become a success andin the end I was writing for all the best

American magazines, and the BBCasked me to do a cookery series and asa result of that I've had much moreinteresting acting work than everbefore.

My two careers have caused mesome misery, because I see myselfmainly as an actress: I have just had totum down the biggest part that I haveever been offered in a majorHollywood film because of obligationsto a TV cookery series. I cried for twodays.

There are some people who willtake 'No' for an answer and somepeople who won' t . However, evenpeople l ike me, who are verydetermined, somet imes feel sodiscouraged that they want to say, 'All

right, I accept that. Nothing is evergoing to happen in my life. Perhaps Ishould just be a nice mother to mychildren.' But there is something insideme which keeps eating away at me andis not satisfied.

Some people can accepttheir dreams: I am dissatisfiedwith a limited kind of success- I need something bigger.'

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@ n successful footballer

'When I was 18 I went for atrial. The manager, said thathe didn't think I would ever

be a professional footballer. Then afteranother trial they told me I wasn'tgood enough and sent me home. Butmy dad always encouraged me, healways used to say, 'Don't worry abutit. It might take time but you'll gettherel. At school, football was the onlything that I was interested in, so it wasvery disappointing to be rejected.

I wal beginning to get worried;then suddenly two clubs offered me acontract, and I signed with one ofthem. Two weeks later I was playingin their first team.

Two years later a Canadian teamoffered me a contract . Anyway, Imarried my fianc6e and we both flewto Vancouver - it was our first flisht.

While I was there, a top British teamcame over and played against us. Iplayed very well and their managerpaid to have me on loan for f ivemonths. He paid f250,000 and agreedto pay f250,000 if he decided to keepme. If he didn't keep me on he wouldget the f250,000 back.

I was 23 and Uni ted was mydream. But I had to miss the first fiveweeks because I was in Vancouver,and by the time I got to Britain, Unitedwas winning every game and themanager was reluctant to change awinning side.

Eventually I had a chance to playbut for some reason we didn't play ourbest . I was taken of f and anotherplayer brought on. As I walked off Ithought, 'That's it. I've messed thatup l '

That was very unlucky but I stillfelt that I was good enough to make it.I wanted to get my last year in Canadaover quickly and return to England.Then I was picked for England andestablished myself as an international.I now had the confidence to pick myclub.

I 've got a wonderful wife andobviously I can afford to buy herthings I couldn't before. My motherwas lucky i f she got f5 for herb i r thday; now I can buy her amicrowave.

I still have trouble believing thatmy picture is in the paper. My wifesays I 'm l ike a l i t t le ch i ldamazed by it all - but I stillcan ' t bel ieve that i t 'shappened to me.

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People a lways te l l you thatyou're too old to do what youwant. I was 26 when I wanted

to be a singer, and they said that wastoo old. At the advanced age of 22 Iwent to art college where everybodyelse was 18. People said it was abouttime I settled down and did somethingsensib le. But I wanted to t ry outdifferent things. In my second year atcollege I joined a local band, found Ireally liked it and left the college.

We did very well for a couple ofyears but two years later the groupdisbanded and I got together with amate to write songs. We got a keyboardand a recording system and spent all ourincome sending cassettes to recordcompanies, who rejected all of them ....One letter said, 'Dear Tape Maker' andthere was a list of comments with littleboxes for them to tick. For us theyticked 'Don't give up your job'.

You have your heart in your mouthwhen you' re L i t t le Miss Nobody

Reading Games, @ Jill Hadfield and Charles Hadfield 1995

sending off tapes. You think at the timethat the setbacks are going to destroyyou but they don't - they make youmore determined.

My father once said to me, 'You're

nearly 30. How long do you think youcan go on being on the dole and livingin poverty?' Mother turned to me andsaid, 'Promise me that you won't evergive up.' I've been so short of moneythat I've had no money to put in the gasmeter and I 've sat in a sleeping bagwi th a hot-water bot t le watchingtelevision. The three of us (me, mypartner and the dog) l ived on f,15 aweek. It was terrible. But at my lowestpoint - and I've had some extremelylow ones - I would never have dreamtof giving up because life without musicis not worth living.

Then one record company said,'The girl's voice isn't bad. What doesshe look like?' I rushed round getting agroup together and we made two songsfor the audition. The director of the

company said, 'Wonderful. Let's talk'.When he left we yelled and jumped upand down with excitement. This wasour breakthrough. A proper Londonrecord company was interested in us.

Our first record was released andwas a disaster. I was shocked because Iknew it was a really good pop song.Then it was released in the US and gotto number four. This meant it was re-re leased in England, and went tonumber four here too. So all the peoplewho didn't l ike it at f irst suddenlystarted to like it. But I don't feel hurt: Ithink it's quite amusing.

I 'm prepared to take r isks. I 'mprepared to fail but want all the successwhen I've made the right decision.

Our second record did nothing,then the third was number one for fiveweeks.

So perhaps I wasn't tooold after all.

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These days people say to me,'Your work's everywhere. It'sso commercial. You've sold

ou t . ' Tha t ' s rubb i sh . I ' ve beenworking in the same way for years,and for years it was rejected.

When th ings changed i t hadnoth ing to do wi th me. I d idn ' tchange. What changed was the time,the place and the climate of opinion.

When I le f t ar t school I soondecided to become a cartoonist. Ithodght that my work was good andfunny but people just weren' tinterested. I was getting desperatebecause I knew that I was doingsomething good, but I was incrediblypoor and needed a way of making anincome out of it.

I got a job teaching part-time in aschool in north London. It was hell onearth going into a room of 30 girlsarmed with knives. And all the time Iwent round trying to sell my work topeople who fell asleep as they lookedat it.

At one time I showed my work toa postcard publisher. He said, 'There's

no commercial potential here. Youshould try this sort of thing.' And heshowed me a few examples ofcar toons he l iked. That real lyinfuriated me.

The worst experience I had waswith a gallery owner in New York. Ihad an introduction from a famousartist but she hardly looked at mywork. She spent most of the timelooking out of the window. At the endshe said, 'Well, thank you, for yourtime,' and I said 'Thank you' andstaggered out on to the street and oneof my teeth fell out. It was not a goodday.

Then one day an Australian sawmy work and offered me an exhibitionin Australia. So I put my work in asui tcase, went to the a i rpor t andmissed the plane. And that was one ofthe best things that ever happened tome. The fo l lowing day a Londonexhibitions organiser phoned me and

said, 'We'd like to show you. Haveyou got any work available?' I said Ihad a suitcase full.

And that was it. The showwas reviewed everywhere; we madepostcards that so ld hundreds ofthousands of copies. Severalpublishers phoned up with offers ofbooks. It was exactly the same workthat I had been doing for years - Ihadn't changed at all. I just thought:'Where were all of you 10 years ago?'

I have no respect forpeople's opinion of my work. One dayeveryone says, 'This is terrible, goawayi and a few years later they'resaying, 'You' re a genius. ' I t 's thesame work and I don't care what theythink of it. The only thing that isimportant is that I'm happy with it.There's nothing people can say tochange what I produce. Itdidn't happen when I was afailure and it's not going tohappen now I'm a success.

O A successful actor

In the theatre you' re notsupposed to want success - youhave to pretend that you never

wanted it. But rejection is especiallyhard for an actor, because if you'rerejected it's your body, the way yousound, the way you look that is beingrejected. It's a very personal rejectionand very difficult to cope with.

As a child I lived in South Africaand my parents decided that I should goto Britain to study acting. We hadfound out which was the best dramaschool and decided that that was whereI would go. They even rented a flat forme.

When I was 19 I arr ived inEngland from South Africa and a weeklater I had an audition at the school. Itwas a frightening but short experiencewhich lasted about 10 minutes. Thegroup of us that had auditioned had towait in a small room and the registrar

Reading Games, @ Jill Hadfield and Charles Hadfield '1995

put her head round the corner and said,'None of you today.' I couldn't believethat I'd travelled half-way across theworld just to get a rejection. I wentback to the hotel convinced that therewould be a message for me saying'There 's been a mistake we d idn ' tmean you.' But they did.

Then I went for an audition atanother school. That school didn't letme know immediately; they sent me aletter, which said something like, 'Not

only have you failed to get in, not onlydo we not want you to try again but werecommend that you think of a differentcareer.'

Wi thout my parents 'encouragement I would have given up.Eventually I got into another school,but when I left the principal said somethings that I found very depressing. Hetold me that I wasn't going to be asuccess until my thirties.

I remember being deeplydisappointed when I didn't get a part ina play in London's West End. It was apart that I thought especially was madefor me.

One of the things that my therapisthas taught me was that i t is veryimportant to be able to evaluate yourown work. It's a very hard thing to dobecause you've got the director, fellowactors, the audience and the critics allgiving their own opinions.

Last year I suddenly realised that Ihad become part of the British theatreestablishment. I was asked to play in acabaret to celebrate Laurence Olivier's(Britain's most famous actor) 80thbirthday. It was the most scaring nightof my life. I thought of my grandfather,who was a barely l i terateLithuanian peddler, and Isuddenly saw how far I hadcome.

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The interviewer asked these questions. How did your character replyT

1 When did you first start wanting to do what you're doing now?

2 Did you always want to do it, or was there another career that tempted you?

3 How did you make a start in your career?

4 Things were difficult for you at the beginning, weren't they? Who turned you down?For what reasons?

5 How did you have the strength to keep going?

6 Did you get much encouragement from your family or friends?

7 When did your lucky break come?

8 How'successful'would you say you are now?

9 Have you learnt any lessons from your experience?

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THE CRIMES THAT WERE EASIEST TO DETECT

Any act of genius is marked by a dazzling simplicity.There is about it a logic and inevitability that is deeplysatisfying. The following crimes were detected almostimmediately after they had been committec.

ln 1972 Mr J Egan from London stole a barge on theRiver Thames and was very soon caught. There was adock strike on and his was the only craft moving thatday.

Mr J Ealey committed a burglary in Detroit in 1968 andleft his dog at the scene of the crime. The police soonarrived and shouted 'Home boy'. They then followed thedog back to the burglar's house. And arrived onlyseconds bfter he did.

In May 1976 Vernon Drinkwater and Raymond Heap ofBlackburn were accused of stealing a car while trying tosell it to its original owner.

O rHE rEAsr PR'FTTABLE RoBBERY

lntending to steal cash from a supermarketin 1977, aSouthampton thief employed a unique tactic to divertthe til l girl 's attention. His method was to collect a trolleyfull of goods, arrive at her til l and put down f 10 by wayof payment. She would then take the money and openthe til l, upon which he would snatch the contents.

He arrived at the cash desk and put down the f 10. Shetook it and opened the til l; but there was only f4.37 in it.

Undeterred, the Southampton thief snatched that andmade his getaway, having lost f 5.63 on the raid.

The til l girl was considerably uncertain what to do for thebest. She screamed briefly until calmed by her friendBetty.

THE LEAST WEII.PLANNED ROBBERY

Three thieves at Billericay in Essex gave hours ofthought in 1971to raiding the Post Office inMountnessing Road.

Among the details which they discovered were thetimes at which there was most cash and least securityguard on the premises. They also invested in masks,guns and a getaway car.

At a pre-arranged time, the Mountnessing gang spedthrough Billericay and screeched to a halt outside thepost office.

It was only when they jumped out of the car and rantowards the building that they discovered the onedetailwhich they had omitted to check.

The Post Office had been closed for twelve years.

THE MOST UNSUCCESSFUL PRISON ESCAPE

After weeks of extremely careful planning, seventy-five convicts completely failed to escape from Saltil loPrison in Northern Mexico. In November 1975 theyhad started digging a secret tunnel designed to bringthem up at the other side of the prison wall.

On 18 Apri l 1976, guided by pure genius, their tunnelcame up in the nearby courtroom in which many ofthem had been sentenced. The surprised judgesreturned al l 75 to jai l .

O rHE woRsr BANK R.BBER'

In August 1975 three men were on their way in to rob the Royal Bank of Scotland at Rothesay, when they gotstuck in the revolving doors. They had to be helped free by the staff and, after thanking everyone, sheepishly leftthe bui lding.

A few minutes later they returned and announced their intention of robbing the bank, but none of the staffbelieved them. When, at first, they demanded f 5,000, the head cashier laughed at them, convinced that it was apracticaljoke.

Considerably disheartened by this, the gang leader reduced his demand first to f 500, then to f 50 and ultimatelyto 50 pence. By this stage the cashier could barely control herself for laughter.

Then one of the men jumped over the counter and fell awkwardly on the floor, clutching at his ankle. The othertwo made their getaway, but got trapped in the revolving doors for a second time, desperately pushing the wrongway.

Reading Gamel O Jill Hadfield and Charles Hadfield '1995

THE MOST UNSUCCESSFUT ATTEMPTTO WORK THROUGH A LUNCH HOUR

Mr Stanley Hird surely set a record in June'1978when trying to catch up on some paperwork. Atone o'clock his carpet factory outside Bradford wasdeserted and he settled down for an uninterruptedhour. At ten past one a cow fell through the roof.The cow had clambered on to the roof from theadjoining field. For thirty seconds they stared ateach other and then the cow, who had also beenplanning a quiet lunch hour, lowered her head andcharged, This continued for some minutes, duringwhich time Mr Hird retreated steadily towards thedoor as the cow scattered stacks of wool.Eventually the heifer, whose name was Rosie,stopped to chew a green carpet and Mr Hirdescaped into the corridor. Here he met a farmerwho inquired if he had seen a heifer. Police,firemen and an elaborate set of pulleys wereneeded to extract the animal.

THE TEAST SUCCESSFUT ANIMALRESCUE

The firemen's strike o'f 1978 made possible one of thegreat animal rescue attempts of all time. Valiantly,the British Army had taken over emergencyfirefighting and on 14 January they were called outby an elderly lady in South London to retrieve her catwhich had become trapped up a tree. They arrivedwith impressive haste and soon discharged their duty,So grateful was the lady that she invited them all infor tea. Driving off later, with fond farewellscompleted, they ran over the cat and killed it.

O rHE woRsr rouRrsrThe least successful tourist on record is Mr Nicholas Scotti ofSan Francisco.ln 1977 he flew from America to his native ltalyto visit relatives.

En route the plane made a one-hour fuel stop at KennedyAirport. Thinking that he had arrived, Mr Scotti got out andspent two days in New York believing he was in Rome.

When his nephews were not there to meet him, Mr Scottiassumed they had been delayed in the heavy Roman trafficmentioned in their letters. While tracking down their address,the great traveller could not help noticing that modernisationhad brushed aside most, if not all, of the ancient city'slandmarks.

He also noticed that many people spoke English with a distinctAmerican accent. However, he just assumed that Americansgot everywhere. Furthermore, he assumed it was

Reading Garnes, @ Jill Hadfield and Charles Hadfield 1995

THE LEAST SUCCESSFUL ATTEMPT TO MEET ARELATIVE ATAN AIRPORT

In 1975 Mrs Josephine Williams and her family went to meet a long-lost brother at Heathrow Airport. They took home a completestranger.Greatly relaxed by in-flight drinking facilities, the traveller wanderedinto the airport lounge to be smothered by the kisses of MrsWilliams and her sisters. 'Gee, this is great,' he kept saying, all thewhile cuddling Mrs Williams in a manner which she later describedas 'not like a brother'.His enthusiasm for British hospitality was modified, however, whenMr Williams shook his hand firmly and ushered him to a parked car.They first suspected that something was amiss when their relativetried to jump out of the car while travelling at speed up themotorway.When told that he was being taken to a fami! reunion in Coventry,he replied, 'Take my money. Here's my wallet. Take it and let mego. '

Slumped miserably in the front seat, he added, 'This is the first time Ihave been to England and I am being kidnapped."I thought from the beginning he wasn't my brother,' Mrs Williams saidlater, 'but my sisters wouldn't listen. They said I was only twelve whenhe left for America and wouldn't remember.'

O rHE LEA'TsuccEssFuTBANKR'BBER

Not wishing to attract attention to himself, a bank robber in 1969 atPortland, Oregon, wrote all his instructions on a piece of paper ratherthan shout.'This is a hold-up and l've got a gun,' he wrote and then held thepaper up for the cashier to read.The bemused bank official waited while he wrote out, 'Put all themoney in a paper bag.'This message was pushed through the grille. The cashier read it and thenwrote on the bottom, 'l don't have a paper bag,'and passed it back.The robber fled.

for their benefit that so many street signs were written inEngl ish.Mr Scotti spoke very little English himself and next asked apoliceman (in ltalian) the way to the bus depot. As chancewould have it, the policeman came from Naples and repliedfluently in the same tongue.After twelve hours travelling round on a bus, the driverhanded him over to a second policeman. There followed abrief argument in which Mr Scotti expressed amazement atthe Rome police force employing someone who did not speakhis own language.Scotti 's brill iance is seen in the fact that even when told hewas in New York, he refused to believe itTo get him on a plane back to San Francisco, he was raced to theairport in a police car with sirens screaming. 'See,'said Scotti tohis interpreter, 'l know l'm in ltaly. That's how they drive.'

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How many of the following questions can you answer? Answer as many as possible and then share informationto complete the questionnaire.

1 Why was the prison escape unsuccessful?

2 Why was Mr Egan caught when he stole a barge?

3 Why was the Post Office robbery unsuccessful?

4 Why did the supermarket thief lose money?

S' Wf,at happened to the robbers at the Bank of Scotland?

6 What interrupted Mr Hird's lunch hour?

7 What mistake did Mrs Williams make at the airport?

8 What happened to the cat?

9 What did the cashier write on the piece of paper?

10 Why did Mr Scotti think he was in Rome? Where was he?

How many of the fotlowing questions can you answer? Answer as many as possible and then share informationto complete the questionnaire.

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Why was Mr Egan caught when he stole a barge?

Why was the Post Office robbery unsuccessful?

Why did the supermarket thief lose money?

What happened to the robbers at the Bank of Scotland?

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A vicar called on an old lady who was one of his parishioners and wasfascinated by her talking parrot. But he saw that the bird had a blue ribbontied to each leg and asked the lady why.' l f I pul l the r ibbon on his r ight leg, ' she said, 'he sings me a happy hymn -Onward Christian Soldiers - but if I am feeling sad, I pull the ribbon on his leftleg and he sings a sad hymn - Abide With Me. ''Wonderful,' said the vicar. 'And what if you pull both ribbons at once?'

A friend of mine was travelling by train and opposite him sat a gentlemanreading The Times. Every so often he took a sheet of the newspaper, crumpledit up, opened the window, threw it out and shut the window.

After he had done this a few times my friend said, 'Excuse me, but may I askwhy you are doing that?''Oh yes,' he replied, 'it keeps the elephants away.''But,' my friend said, 'there aren't any elephants here.'

A man was out for a walk in the town and met a penguin, which started tofollow him. Now knowing what to do with it, he took it to the nearest policestation and asked for advice.'Take it to the Zoo,' they advised.

Next day one of the policemen met the man in the street, stil l followed by thepenguin.'What are you doing with that penguin?' he said. ' l thought you were goingto take it to the Zoo.'

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A man was lonely and bought a canary thinking i t would talk to him.Disappointed by the bird's lack of conversation, he complained to the pet shopowner, who sold him a mirror, and when this failed to make the canary talk,suggested some cuttle-fish wedged between the bars.This didn't work and the man returned daily to the shop where he was advised inturn to buy a swing, and then a ladder, and finally a bell to give the little bird apurpose in life.'You will find,' said the pet shop owner, 'once he has had a swing, sharpened hisbeak on the cuttle-fish, climbed the ladder and rung the bell, he will start talking.'A week later the man returned triumohant.'lt worked,' he said. 'He looked in the mirror, swung on the swing, climbed theladder, rang the bell and then fell backwards on to the floor of the cage with his feetin the air , ''Did'he say anything?'

A man walked into the doctor's surgery and bumped into a very young andpretty girl coming out, but she was crying bitterly.'Come on, ' he said, ' i t can' t be that bad. 'She said, 'Oh, but it is, the doctor's just told me l'm pregnant.'The man turned to the doctor and asked' ls i t t rue?'

The doctor said,

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A man had just finished his lunch in a restaurant and the waitress asked if hewould take coffee.'Yes, please,' he replied.

The waitress went off but quickly returned and asked, 'With or without cream,si r?''Without, 'he repl ied.After a long wait the waitress returned, rather anxious, and saidapologetically,

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All good stories, should be short and to the point. This was well known to atleast one small boy who was asked to write a story in class containingelements of Romance, Royalty, Mystery and Religion, and completed the taskin thirty seconds.

When asked by the teacher, he read out,

A former President of the United States was holding a dinner at the WhiteHouse. Among the guests was a Red Indian Chief dressed in full costume.

The President seated his Lady next to the Red Indian Chief, to make him feelcomfortable and also because the Chief held 51% of a big oil company.

When the dinner started and soup was served, the President's wife smiled atthe Chief and said, 'You like-um soupee?'

The Chief nodded his head.

When the second course was served up she said, 'You like-um turkey?'

Again the Chief smiled and nodded. This went on through every course'

After coffee, the Chief had to make a speech. He stood up and gave abrill iant speech in faultless English.

He sat down to deafening applause, and turning to the President's wife, hesaid,

Two Belgians and two Dutchmen travelled regularly to work on the same train.

After a while the Dutchmen saw that the two Belgians only had one ticket between them and askedhow they managed to achieve this. They explained that when they hear the conductor approachingfrom the other end of the carriage, the two of them left their seats, went into the toilet and locked the

door. When the conductor knocked on the toilet door saying, 'Tickets please', they pushed one ticketunder the door. lt was then stamped and pushed back under the door again.

The Dutchmen thought this was a very good idea and the following morning boughtone ticketbetween them. When they got to their carriage there was only one Belgian. They told him what theyhad done and asked the Belgian if he had a ticket as he was travelling on his own.

He said he did not have a ticket at all and when they asked how he proposed to manage to travelfree

of charge, he told them they would have to wait and see until the conductor arrived, but he had no

doubt that he would manage it without difficulty.

As soon as they heard the conductor coming the two Dutchmen immediately went to the toilet andlocked the door.

Reading Games, @ Jill Hadfield and Charles Hadfield 1995: t

A small and weedy man arrived at a lumberjack camp in the northern forests ofcanada. All the men working at the camp were at least six feet tall, and simplycouldn't believe that the new arrival was a lumberjack. They gave him a very smallaxe and took him to a smalltree. The man chopped the tree down with one blow.The big lumberjacks immediately decided to teach him a lesson. They gave him oneof the largest and heaviest axes that they could find and took him to a particularlytall and thick tree.'Go on, cut this down,' they said,'All right,' he replied.within a very few minutes the new arrivar had sent the big tree crashing down.'Amazing,' said the lumberjacks, 'but how on earth is it that someone as small andthin as ybu can cut trees so well? Where do you come from?''The Sahara,' he replied.'But there are no trees in the Sahara,' said one of the lumberjacks.

. . . . . . . ' . . I

A doctor, an architect and a politician argued whose was the oldest profession.'obviously, the medical profession is the oldest,' said the doctor, ,because thefirst doctor was the one who took the rib out of Adam to create Eve.,The architect disagreed.'God was the first architect. He created order out of chaos, so mine must bethe oldest profession.'

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A very successful young tycoon lost his business flair and was so worried hewent to see his doctor.His doctor could find nothing wrong with him but suggested that he should seea brain specialist.He did this and was told that his brain was prematurely old and worn out butwith modern brain transplant surgery he could be given a new one.He asked abut the cost, and the reply was that it depended on what type ofbrain he wanted - for example, he could have a legal brain for f 10,000, or adoctor's brain for f20,000 or an Army officer's brain for f40,000.'That's ridiculousl An officer's brain can't cost twice as much as a doctor's!,


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'Then I fall off my perch, you silly old fool,' said the parrot.

'Of course not,' he replied. 'That proves it worksl'

'Oh,' replied the man. 'That was yeslerday. Today we are going to the pictures.'

' l always knew it would be usefulto have a second language.'

' l know,' replied the colonel, looking at his watch. 'lt is already 20.00 hours.'

'No,' he replied. 'You scrambled the wrong egg.'

'Yes, just before he died he said, "Did no one tell you about bird seed?".'

'No, but it 's cured her hiccups,'

' l 'm sorry sir. There is no more cream. Will you have it without milk?'

'God,'said the duchess, 'l 'm pregnant. Who done it?'

'You like-um speechy?'

A few moments later the Belgian followed them down the corridor and knocked on thetoilet door saying, 'Tickets please'. One Dutch ticket appeared under the door.

'Not any more,' replied the new arrival.

'Ah l' said the politician, 'but it was the first politician who created the chaos.'

'Oh, yes,'was the reply. 'You see, it 's as good as new; it has never been used.'

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t : ^ ' - r m e < A r l i l l t l e d f i a l d : n d a h e r l o c l - . t : . l f i a l d 1 O A ci Reading Gamer O Jill Hadfield and Charles Hadfield 1995 i: J

@ nauui

It was a huge heart rnade of chocolate whichopened up and had chocolate creams inside, andknew exastly who it was from. I was i 3 and hewas 25 and my first great love. He was a familyfriend, and he always had glamorous girlfriends,but he was wonderful and I adored him. I wasterribly upset when he married a few years later,because he didn't wait for me, but we have beenfriends all our lives. I never dreamed of sendinghim one; he was too far above me and out ofreach. .

: O Pin up/singer

l 've stil l kept my first card. I was 11and it was from a boy in my classwho drew a picture of himself andme in a big red heart. He was the only blond boyin class so I knew from the picture that it wasfrom him. I told my best friend, who promptlytold everybody else, and he got teased byeveryone. But we went swimming together thatweekend and became good friends. At 13 | sentmy Dad a joke one. lt said, 'To Pat, you don'tknow who I am - | think you're dishy.' I putperfume and a big lipstick kiss on it. He believed itand showed it to Mum to make her jealous butshe knew that I'd sent it. Last year he was stil l

boasting to his friends about it so I told himthe truth; he was really annoyed.

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My first Valentine was unforgettable. lt was ahomemade card with a poem inside. 'Roses

are red, Violets are blue, When I grow up, Iwant to marry you.' I was seven, and had a crushon a handsome boy in my class. I thought it mustbe from him and excitedly checked hishandwriting. I discovered instead that it was froma boy with spots whose nickname was 'smelly'

because his mother gave him meat and onionsandwiches for lunch. I was terribly disappointed.

Reading Games,@ Jill Hadfield and Charles Hadfield 1995

O Sportswoman

The most surprising one camefrom a man I worked with. I thought of him justas a friend but then this romantic card with a redsilk rose arrived and inside it was a messageasking me to propose to him. I only send them topeople who are depressed. When I was 12 | sentone to a young boy in my class whom everybodyignored. I signed my name so that he knew hehad a friend, and he was very happy. Ever since, Ihave sent them to boys who aren't the bestlookers or who need cheering up.

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I sent one to myself when I was 'l 3 becauseknew no one was interested in me and I wouldn'tget one. So I bought it, wrote it and posted it,and when it arrived I took it to school andpretended I had an admirerto save feelinghumiliated. The first I really received was from aman in the factory near the office where I workedwhen I was 16. He could see me sitting by theoffice window and kept phoning up saying 'Hello,

darling'. The card said 'From the factoryopposite', I never did discover who he was. lt wasa bit frightening, but thrill ing. I was working outpeople's income tax at the time.

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In my school, founded by idealisticsocialists, it was the custom foreach child in the class to send aValentine to every other child. For this purposewe made our own very cheap cards. One 14February, however, I received a very different sortof Valentine: garlanded with roses and forget-me-nots and trimmed with paper lace. I never foundout who sent it, but I dreamed over it for years,

@ Presenter

I was hideously ugly when I was at school - as Iam nowl - and none of the boys liked me.

When we were all about seven everyone gotValentines but me, so I made one to send myself.The only trouble was, the cruellest girl in the classsaw me so she made sure that everyone knew l'ddone it myself and had them all laughing at me.When eventually I did get one, from an Australianboy called Bill, it was a big event in my life. Hewas so romantic he even waded into a pond in hisshoes and socks to get me tadpoles.

O Novelist 2

When I was 14 I sent cardsto all the boys I knew. I drew them all myself andthey said things like 'Love and Kisses from - HaHa Ha'. lt really puzzled people. No one guessedexcept one boy who said, 'That was you, wasn'tit?'That was when I learnt that I was amarvellous liar. I don't remember the first one Igot: I was much less interested in love than intel l ing l ies!

Reading Games @ Jill Hadfield and Charles Hadfield 1995

Q rolit ician

Valentine's Day was really important at school. ltdidn't matter who they were from, just howmany you received. At 12 | got one from a boy Iwas madly in love with. lt was anonymous but Irecognised his handwriting and kept it on mydressing table for ages. I once sent a pretend oneto my father from a woman called Frou-Frou. Hissecretary opened it, which was what I had meantto happen, and it caused a bit of fun.

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The one I remember best came when I was 16\ .There was a knock at the door, and I opened itand saw a taxi leaving. Left on the doorstep was adoll's house, with a note bythe bell, saying 'press'.

I did, and the windows lit up, a figure came out ofthe door carrying a red heart, and a tune played' l ' l l be loving you' . l t was absolutely wonderful .The house even had curtains and a cat at thewindow. I knew it was from my boyfriend becausehe was the only person who could have madesuch an incredible thing. l t d id the tr ick! At 17 |marr ied himl

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Answer as many questions as you can and then ask other students for help.

I What was inside the dolls' house?

What tune did it play?

Does she stil l know the boy who gave her this present?

Two people sent Valentines to their fathers. How did they sign them? Whoopened them?

An Australian boy called Bill sent her her first Valentine. What else did hedo for her?

4 How many people sent Valentines to themselves?

5 How many people had to send Valentines to every other child in the class?

6 She got a huge chocolate heart when she was 12. Who was it from?

7 A Valentine arrived for her which said, 'Roses are red, violets are blue,When I grow up, I want to marry you.' How old was she?

Who did she think it was from? Who was it really from?

8 What did the message say that came with the red silk rose?

Reading Games, @ .Jill Hadf ield and Charles Hadfield 1995

day. There'o a cur"few on becaueQ of anti-qovernment rioLs, and Ionly juot managed No find a hotbl before the eix o'clock eveninqcurtew.YeeLerday I wao nearly elot by Volice who were Nryinq toconirol a demoneNration ,Lhe bAnks are all closed and I don'tknow how lonq I'll be etuck here. WiIh any luak l'll cailch a bue LoNepal on gaturday, eo you couldNtry oending a letLer Lo AmericanExpreee in KaNhmandu. I hope No be there unLil Lhe end of April

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we trekked to last monLh(a week'e walk).ln Nhe6hown a yeLi'e head, and all NheWell Lhat niqhN, I was woken by a ociiffl inq and heavy breathinqoutside lhe Lent. I thouqhl,'trhieved' and qrabbed my Lorch. When Iotuck my head ou| of Lhe LenL, Lhelp wao a biq brown hairycreaLure running off on all foure, and iL had elolen my ruckeack fullof Line of food and drink. I woke thefi*,ere up and they were oureiN w ae a yeLi. The Irial w ao okay and l c an leave Nep al Lomorrow.Trobably eend you a card from CalcQ,wa.

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to deecribe iL, juot peoplepeopkftXaey&We]g.rtd"all.$f ,ihem eopoor I feel aehamed.1omehow itpute thinqe in"parvpecLive - | wasmugged laet week, and l've lool etXuerythinq, includinq my ?a66?orL,Nraveller's ahequee, all my film, mg camera, Dut when I think howlucky I am, com?ared No bhe people livin7 on lhe pavemente here, Ifeel really lucky to be alive. II t ' l l take anobherfew dayoto qet la new paeeport , andNhenlhopeLo qo to Burma. Tlane for Kanqo.6Un every Tueeday and Thureday.

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friendly and emile andYtfe ̂i&tuirlfuIwi&td:Bdtpfe cominyto Mandalay I eVenLrhree dfuVe aL?aqanwhf,reNhere arehundrede of old ruined Lempleo, alonq by the l rcawaddy

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Chianq Mai ie a lovely town, I cgltIA aaoily etop fu:re an{4ffigpme hpnre,, {The hille around are full of 'hill

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Chianq Mai ie a lovely town, I cgltIA aaoily etop fiere anQnffinap^" hf;" /,The hille around are full of 'hill

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all wiLh their own cu6t ome, dalaea" and\an4uary'9, We wenl {oQ a fdur* * * u

day Lrek, oleepinq in Ihe villagieo*whrphWu,ndo..idylliq buy ig frhcL we werevery lucky not, No 6el kidnappCdl! ThereZrd a lot cjf bandihn ir'volved wiLhopium emuqql inq in and oul of Burma, a{d the burmeee oide is in a ebateof civil war. LaoX monlh some French No$rioNo were kidnapped, and someAmericane were murdered only a few weQko aqo, We were havinq lunch by ariver when ohooting sLarted on lhe bank, and ouddenly we weresurounded by a dozen or oo querillao in camoufla7e. Lucki ly ourquide epoke lheir lanquaqe, and even betler we weren'f, armed so Nheguerillae could see we were only LourioLdWe qave lhem our cameras andmoney, and they helped Lhemeelvee Lo all the food, butr apart from thatwe are luoky to be alive! Next etop HonOlKonO.

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Back in civilization. Y6u cain'N ifnaqindhow a;Ai#l,ll,felvto have a proVei"hoi bath' an) fuy uofiib new' ', ''u

clolhee, afEer eo lonq wanderiilq around Aeia. CoffeilOranqe juicel l,ambuiqerel Hcin4 Konq"io eo otranq'e,l ike England (roadoiqne, bueedp ehope) buL witheuper food and lhe noiee and luot le of China. Ihaven'L qoNLime, unfortunatefu,tu qo norLh inLo NheTeople'e Republic, tha| will havl U wail till my nexttripl Next, otop Bali (my Vlane"p tomorcow) - a five-day eilopover and Nhen on to Qydney.

whether No eueam for help or not. | $lood there, and lhe snake waitedand waiNed.lV's so hot here, but, my plood froze, Amazing stroke of luck,and l' l l never forqet Nhis, a caN came u? ever oo quielly behind the snake,pounced and grabbed it behind the npck, Reeult? One dead aobra, oneproud caL, and one very ehaken Johnl I Lold the landlord, and he eaid'Cobra? Yee, he bad one, bul never miud, bathroom clean if enake live inthere,' tsoVe my nexN eilop ie safer. Do kanqaroos bite?

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wenb, and croeein4lhe road I waelliterally knocked down by a buslBoLh my leTo broken, and eome broken ribo, I qoI to Ihe hoepilal inan ambulance, lo f ind eomeone had ei lolen my baq whi le I wae ly inqin Ihe sLreet. 9o, no VaooVorL, no money lefL, juot a loan of L\OOand lhe aifrare from lhe BriLioh Hlqh Commieeion,

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1ee you next, week,Youre in plaeter,

Reading Gamet O .Jill Hadf ield and Charles Hadf ield 1995

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Mark on the map the section of his journey (A-l) that John describes in his postcard.Then markthe appropriate symbol on the map.

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-Readinq Games. O i i l Hadf ie d and Char les Hadf ie ld 1995

WISHME LUCKASYOU

WAVE ME GOODBYEDuring the summer of.lggg, thousands of British childrenwere moved from urban homes to escape the threat ofGerman bombs. For some, the new rural life was idyllic;

'I thought it was an outing

to the seaside. I looked out of

the window and saw my

mother crying.I said to my

brother, "tNhat is mummy

crying for?" '

'I went on to enjoy some

halycon days ouer the next

six years, growing up on a

200-acre farm in Norfolk.'

also an operation that was to have a profoundeffect in later life on the children, who w"reuprooted from their homes and, with theirMi*"y Mouse gas masks, dispatched to livewith strangers in what often imounted to a'foreign land'.

I know how they felt because I was one ofthem, a six-year-old cockney more familiar withthe smel ls and sounds of Bi l l ingsgate f ishmarket than with manure and bi ia song.Certainly I came in for my share of roug-htreatment from the family who

for others, a living hell.

he evacuat ion of thousands andthousands of youngsters from Londonwhen the war broke out was amasterpiece of organisation. It was

first took me in, but I went on toenjoy some halycon days overthe next six years, growing upon a 200-acre farm in Norfolk,which changed me from young'ci ty sl icker ' into thecountry-lover I am to this day.

The br ief def ini t ion of'evacuee' in the 'Everyday

English Dictionary' -'a persontransferred from a vulnerable toa safe area on account of airraids' - may be accurate as ageneral description, but it givesno inkling of the thousands ofstor ies, both sad and happy,behind that momentousevacuation in the last war.


MICHAEL CAINE

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I t first everyone was very nice and then thef'l\ woman that had taken us there left and we satdown to eat. The woman said, 'Here's your meal,'and she gave us a tin of pilchards between the twoof us, and some bread and water. Now we'd beenin this rich woman's house so we said, 'Where's thebutter?' And we suddenly got a wallop round thehead. From then on it started...not the husband hewas never there...just her. What we later found outwas that the woman hated kids and was doing itfor the extra money. So that food was the cheapestmedl you could dish up...a tin of pilchards and drybread.

e didn't know anything about nature and weran af ter the peacocks and tore the ta i l

feathers from them to send home to our mum. Wewere 48 children and they only had billets for 46.The rich man of the village said he didn't want anyevacuees and his son lived next door. When thevicar explained they had two boys he agreed totake one and the son took the other boy.

So I spent two and a half years living in his bighouse. We were driven there by the vicar the nextday and I'd never been in a car before. On the gear-lever was a diagram that I thought was a swastika.So when we got to the house we told him that theman who drove us had a swastika in his car. So thelocal bobby went round to interrogate the vicar.

f f you were a child with glasses or with spots,|. vou were alwavs left till the end.

We were toldio sit quietly on the floor whilethe villagers and farmers' wives came to choosewhich children they wanted. I noticed boys ofabout 1.2 went very quickly - perhaps to help onthe farm? Eventually only my friend Nancy andmyself were left - two plain, straight-haired littlegirls wearing glasses, now rather tearful.

A large, happy-looking, middle-aged ladyrushed in asking, 'Is that all you have left?' Asad, slow nod of the head from the teacher. 'I'll

take the poor bairns.' We were led out of the hallwith this stranger and taken to a farm where wespent two years.

he journey seemed to take for ever. It can'thave done though, because as I found out

later we were only 85 miles from home. It'sfunny but I can remember that journey so well.We got tired of counting fields as we passedthem - for many it was the first time they hadseen fields. I was just a little more fortunate. Iwas once taken out into the country. I canremember though how we had to cross aviaduct, how frightened we all were in case thetrain should come off the rails and we would allfall into the water underneath. You should haveheard the sighs of relief when we crossed safely.

Reading Games,@ Jill Hadfield and Charles Hadfield 1 995

T h" couple were quite old - maybe around 50,|' which seemed old then. She had greasy hair

in a plait and used to ask me to braid it for her. Ihated doing it. If we were sick we had to waituntil money arrived from our parents before shewould get medicine. We weren't allowed in thehouse till 5pm and in the evenings had to sit inthe scullery with its stone floor. She said thealternative to us was a couple of Irish labourers,otherwise she would never have consented to ourliving there. I think she was trying to save moneyon the allowance given her.We became very thin.From 7 td 9 at night we met with two other girls,similarly treated, and would sit in the bushes,around a fire if we could steal matches, talkingabout when we got home...

f was terribly unhappy there and I remember a day whenI it was raining hard and she sent me outside. She boltedthe door and I crawled into the chicken-house full ofstraw, and I stayed there until she came out and broughtme in. She didn't want me in the place you see.

This other little girl's daddy was a soldier and one daythe lady said to me, 'You're to go upstairs and stay in theroom and don't come down.' And she got Margaret Roseready and made her pretty and she locked my door.

I could hear them talking in the kitchen below and Igot a pencil and a piece of paper, wrote a little note: ,please

tell my mummy to come and get me' and I dropped it outof the window.

About a week after that I was on my way to school.There was a thick fog and I could hear footsteps comingtowards me on the other side of the road. And I suddenlyheard my mum saying, 'Is that you Mary?' and I said, ,Oh,

Mum,' and I went dashing across the road and she wasquite horrified when she saw me. She took me back to thehouse and told the woman exactly what she thought of herand she said, 'How dare you send my daughter out on amorning like this. She's got holes in her shoes and no coaton. I'll make sure you never get any more kids to lookafter, after the way vou treated her.'


Q mut the cat, Joey the canary and a large tortoise wet J had had for 16 years...what were we to do withthem? There *ar oriy one thing left and that was tohave them put to sleep.

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I bravely put Smut into a box, the tortoise in a bagon my back and t\e cage in the other hand. I walkedalong the Hasting6 seafront to a vet's. I can tell youhow much I hated Hitler.

Putting my sad cargo down to have a rest and havea cry,I was aware of a soldier staring. He asked whatwas wrong and when I told him he offered to help.

Only the tortoise never did get to the vet's -instead we put him in the local park flowerbeds. Butsadly we joined a long queue at the vet's. People wereall forced to do the same. Sorrowfully we walked backempty-handed.

y sister and I devised a plan. We knew that MrsHudson read our letters from home before she

gave them to us to read, and she insisted on readingthe letters we sent to our parents before she would giveus a stamp to post them. We therefore wrote to ourparents telling them how unhappy we were and leftthe unsealed letter in our bedroom. We didn't have towait long before our plan showed results. The sameday we returned from afternoon school to find ourbelongings in the front garden and we had no reply toour banging on the front door.

We went to tell our story to the headmaster, who liveda shor t d is tance away. He returned wi th us andknocked on Mrs Hudson's front door but found noresponse. He picked up our bags and took us to thesea-front where he deposited my sister and me with thebags and told us he would try and get accommodationfor the night.

We must have looked an unhappy pair. A lady camealong with a dog and she asked us what was wrong.We to ld her our ta le and she sat beside us andpromised that we could go home with her and staywith her as long as we wanted. When the headmasterreturned he was over joyed as he had found i timpossible to find any accommodation for us.

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Readinq Games.@ i i l l Hadf ie ld and Char les Hadf ie ld l995

@ r"r" a break

A friend of a friend, out on a shoppingexpedition, was in need of refreshment.So, laden down with her purchases, she found acafeteria and bought herself a refreshing cup oftea and a Kit-Kat. The place was so full the onlyseat she could find was opposite a scruffy punkreading the paper, but she put her bags downand relaxed.

Apparently, as she did so, the punk folded up hispaper, reached forward for the Kit-Kat, brokeoff half and shoved it in his mouth.The woman was taken aback and quitespeechless, but the punk ignored her, and aminute later he picked up the rest of the bar andfinished it.

By now the woman was furious. Fuming, shereached forward for the punk's cream cake,took a massive bite, then threw it back down onthe table, before gathering up her bags andstorming out of the cafeteria.

Still angry, she decided to catch the first bushome, felt in her pocket for her travelcard, andfound her own Kit-Kat intact.

Jumping out of his truck he marched to confronthis wife and found out the truth. The car was asurprise present she had bought him: the manwas the salesman who'd just delivered it!

@ n nasty set-to

One of my uncle's mates got a job for a buildingcompany driving a huge cement mixer truck.Driving the monster truck thrilled him to bits,but working on big ready-mix jobs often kepthim away from home for days at a time. Andalthough he loved his young wife dearly, hebecame convinced she was having an affair. ltwas the little things: she'd started wearing newclothes and too much perfume.

Apparently, in an effort to catch her out, hedrove home early one day. Sure enough, therewas a brand new red soft-top sports car parkedoutside the house, and the upstairs curtainswere closed.

Wiping a tear from his eye with his fist, hebacked up his truck, and fil led the car to thebrim with quick-setting cement.Job done, he hid round the corner to see whatwould happen. Sure enough, his wife came outof the house with a man in a suit. They lookedtogether at the ruined car and his wife burstinto tears. The husband was surprised to see theman shrug his shoulders, bid his wife goodbyeand climb into a completely different car.

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One of our old dinner ladies from school waschattering on the corner of a busy road whenshe saw a driver, veering from side to side,collide with a stationary motor.Expecting the driver to carry on regardless, asso many people seem to do in this day and age,she and others in the street were pleasantlysurprised to see the considerate driver stop,earnestly examine the damage and take a penand paper from his car and write down thedetails. He then placed the note under thedamaged car's windscreen wiper before drivingon.

A minute later, the owner of the damaged carappeared. He was distressed to see his dentedwing but pleased to see the note, which heread carefully.

Then he exploded. The passer-by said she'dwitnessed the accident and asked what thematter was: didn't he have the other driver'sdetails on the note?

@ enone home

A double-glazing salesman in south Londonwas ringing a contact telephone numberhe'd been given, and the receiver waspicked up immediately at the other end. Atiny voice whispered:'Hal lo?'

'Hallo, can I speak to your daddy please?'said the caller.'No, he's busy,' replied the little voice.'Your mummy, then. l ' l l speak to her.''You can't. She's busy too.'' ls there anyone else there?' persisted thecaller.'Yes,'the voice conceded, 'a policeman,but he's busy as well.''Anyone else?'The caller was now gettinga little exasperated.'Yes, a social worker.''Well, can I speak to the social worker,then?''No, she's busy too,' said the soft littlevoice.'Look, you've got all those people at yourhouse and they're all busy. What are theydoing?' asked the caller.

'See for yourself,' muttered the angry owner,showing her the paper, which read:'l 've just crunched your car, and because thereare loads of nosy people watching me, l 'mpretending to write down my name, registrationnumber and insurance details.'

Reading Garnes, @ Jill Hadfield and Charles Hadfield 1995

'Looking for me,' came the whispered reply.

@ Signed, sealed and delivered O on unfair cop

The father of a boy I went to school with was apolice sergeant - and was once called out to thescene of an armed robbery, a high street bank.The cashier told him a nastyJooking bloke in atrench-coat had entered the bank, come over tohis window and pushed a dog-eared envelopeunder the glass.

The bank clerk squinted at the childish scrawl onthe back of the envelope. The note read, ,GlVUS ALL T}lE rVUruruY, IVE GOT A GUN'.He looked up to find himself staring down thebarrel of a pistol, The cashier compliedimmediately, thrusting the money over thecounter, which the robber shoved into hisgreedy holdall.The thief himself had only just arrived home andstarted excitedly to count his booty, when thepolice burst through the door.The robber threw his arms in the airimmediately, but was baffled by the efficiencyof the police on the case. 'How did you track medown so fast?' he wailed.

A friend's father is a sergeant in the policeConstabulary.

This was well before the days of joyriders andserial killers: criminals in those days were analtogether nicer breed and one of his colleaguestold him about an interesting experience. Thepoliceman was patrolling a particularly il l-l itstreet. With his torch blazing, he flashed intoeach doorway looking for trouble.It was just as well, because his vigilance soon paidoff. The flashlight il luminated the front of a cosyold tobacconist's with the door slightly ajar.Steeling himself for possible violentconfrontation, he slowly pushed open the door.Nothing appeared to be wrong, so, radioing thestation, the policeman poked around the shop.Then he checked no one was looking and helpedhimself to 200 cigarettes, which he hid under hishelmet.

The. flustered shopowner arrived shortly, burstingwith gratitude, and after checking his goods hepraised the policeman's diligence and dedicationto the job. Then he insisted on giving the officera little 'thank you' for his trouble. ,Here, takethese two hundred ciggies,' he offered.'No, no, sir that really won't be necessary, l,monly doing my job,' the bobby protesteduncomfortably. 'Anyway, I don't have anywhereto put them.'

'Nonsense,' replied the shopkeeper, reaching up.'You can hide them under your helmet.,

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One of the first places to have the automaticvideo speedchecks fitted was at Wembley onLondon's north circular road.Recently a motorist known to a friend was quitetaken aback to receive a summons from thepolice advising him that following theexamination of photographic evidence, he wasbeing fined for exceeding the speed limit.Thething was, his car had broken down on themorning of the date stated, so he demanded tosee the pictures for himself.Down at the station, he was shown the prints,which indeed showed his car crossing a junctionat considerable speed and with the light on red.But, as the driver pointed out, the photo missedout a crucial point.

He was being towed by a breakdown truck atthe t ime.

Reading Garnet.O Jill Hadfield and Charles Hadfield 1995

@ ritted up wardrobe

A man who lives round the corner left his keyswith a neighbour while he and his family wenton holiday to Frinton.The neighbour, a conscientious chap, took hisresponsibility very seriously, keeping an eye onthe property at alltimes.When a furniture van turned up on theWednesday to deliver a new wardrobe, theneighbour let them in, signed for the furniture,and kept an eye on the deliverymen while theywere inside the property.

They seemed pleasant enough chaps - hewasn't really surprised when they turned upagain the next day saying they'd delivered thewrong piece and would have to take it back. Heleft them to it, watched them leave, and againlocked up carefully.

But when the family returned from down south,they found everything they had - video, TV,jewellery microwave - was missing.The police arrived and questioned theneighbour intensely. He racked his brains butcould not recall nothing out of the ordinaryapart from the slight problem with thewardrobe.

The officers nodded knowingly. 'That's

happening all over town,'they explained.

Apparently, a diminutive villain hides in thewardrobe when it's delivered. Then he fil ls it upwith consumer collectables overnight, and hisaccomplices remove him and the booty alongwith the 'wrong'wardrobe the next day.

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US writer, critic, wit

1 And on hearing that President Cool idge, a man offew words and even less action, was dead, sheinqu i red , ' * * * * * ' "

2 Then asked what she thought of a certain woman,she breathed, feigning admirat ion, '***** ' .

Oscar.Wilde

Aesthete, writer, wft

5 Wilde, l ike Churchi l l , could make a would-beinsulter look quite fool ish. Receiving bouquets in atheatre foyer one night, he suddenly found himselfpresented with a rotten cabbage. He took it,smi led and sa id , ' * * * * * ' .

6 A customs officer once asked him if he hadanyth ing to dec la re . ' * * * * * ' .

7 Asked his opinion of a truly awful play, he repl ied,

Sir No6l Coward

Terri bly, terri bly witty actor/playwright

3 A dim-witted impresario, no friend of Coward's,blew his brains out. When told, the playwrightremarked, ' * * * * * ' .

4 Asked his opinion of a play featur ing a chi ld'prodigy' , Coward remarked, '** *** ' .

James Whistler

US painter, friendly foe of Wilde

8 Whistler often got his own back on Wilde. On theone occasion, af ter a part icular ly scint i l lat ing remarkfrom the art ist , Wilde exclaimed, ' l wish I had saidthat ! '' * * * * * r sa id Whis t le r .

9 A well-known bore tried to engage him inconversation: 'You know, Mr Whistler, I passed yourhouse last night- '' * * * * * ' sa id Whis t le r .

Reading Gamet O Jill Hadfield and Charles Hadfield 1995

1 . . . . . . . ' . . . . . . . . . . . . . ' . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ;

(p cnurctdtl was one of the few people to get the ibetter of Shaw. The latter invited him to the firstnight of his play, enclosing two tickets. 'One foryourself and one for a friend - if you have one.'Churchill wrote back, saying he couldn't make it,but could he have tickets for the second nioht -' l f there is one. '

@ tn. young man who photographed him on his80th birthday said courteously that he hoped todo the same on his hundredth. ' l don' t see whynot,' said Churchill. 'You look reasonablv fit tome. '

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9:]f ":r,bi:.I of an ill received ptay, the newty i O And white at a party, Shaw was noticed standing- - - - - - -

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:Y..::ttfYl Shaw was cabled by a producer now i

- alone in a corner. His hostess anxiously enquired if he

offering to stage the same work he'd earlier i *u, enjoying himself. ,certainly,, he replied. ,There isrejected, Shaw cabled back: 'Better never than i nothing else here to enjoy.,late. '

Shaw, once a music critic, was in a restaurantwhich boasted a tone-deaf orchestra. lts leaderrecognised him and sent a note asking what hewould like them to play next. 'Dominoes,' replieoShaw.

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@ ,.'nn mistaken for his own gardener one oay, anosey woman asked Groucho Marx how muchhe was paid. 'Oh, I don' t get paid in dol lars, ' hereplied simply. 'The lady of the house just lets mesleep with her.'

And asked what he thought of the latest VictorMature/Hedy Lamarr film, Groucho Marxanswered, 'You can't expect the public to getexcited about a film where the leading man's bustis bigger than the leading lady's. '

@ *urn.r Brothers threatened legal action over theproposed title of his next picture, 'A Night inCasablanca', arguing that it was too close to theirown 'Casablanca'.

Groucho Marx told them. 'l ' l l

sue you for using the word "Brothers."'

lpt A drunk lurched up to Groucho Marx, patted himon the back and said, 'You old son-of-a-gun, - youprobably don' t remember me. ' Groucho snapped, ' l

never forget a face but in your case l' l l be glad tomake an exceotion.'

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@ OnO when a very old man, on one of his increasinglyrare visits to the House of Commons, an Mp remarkedof him, 'After all, they say he's potty.' 'They say hecan't hear either,' muttered Churchill.

And to a female MP who once rebuked him for beingintoxicated at a dinner party, Churchill retorted,'And you, madam, are ugly. But I shall be sobertomorrow.'

Another would-be hostess sent Shaw the pompousinvitation: 'Lady Blank will be at home on Tuesdaybetween four and six o'clock.' Back it came, bearingShaw's scribbled reply: 'Mr Bernard Shaw likewise.'

Picasso, like Whistler, despaired of poor design,in his case his own. A visitor once found himstaring disconsolately at a painting on the easel so,to cheer him up, said 'lt 's a masterpiece.' 'No, thenose is all wrong,' Picasso said. ' lt throws thewhole picture out of perspective.' 'Then why notalter the nose?' ' lmpossible,' sighed picasso. 'lcan't find it. '

Asked why he had none of his own paintings onthe walls of his house, Picasso replied, 't can'tafford them.'

An American Gltold Picasso he didn't like mooernpaintings because they weren't realistic, then wenton to show him a snapshot of his girlfriend. 'My, isshe really as small as that?' asked Picasso.

Picasso went to see his local cabinetmaker for a newwardrobe and drew a quick sketch of what he wantedon a sheet of paper. He gave the sketch to thecabinetmaker and asked how much it would cost.'Nothing at all, ' replied the craftsman. 'Just sign thesketch.'

. . . . . . 1

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'Your title, A Night in Casablanca, is too close to ourtitle, Casab/anca.'

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' l hope to photograph you again on your hundredthbirthday.'

15 'Why don't you have any of your own paintings onyour wal ls?'

8 'You're drunk. ' 16 'How much will it cost?'

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I'm never bored at airports. Quite the reverse. Ivisit them like other people go to rhe ballet. To aManwatcher, there's nothing more fascinatingthan observing citizens of different countriesmingling and exchanging body signals.

And nowhere is the performance so enjoyableas at Heathroq the world's top internationalairport.

Day and night they pour in, a cast of.36million a year from every corner of the globe.

Iflhere else but Heathrow could youhope to see Brazilians rubbing

shoulders with Brahmins. Poleswith Polynesians,

Madagascans withMinnesotans and

Neapolitans withNepalese?

Intelligence or stupidity?It depends whether you're Dutch.

Each nationality has irs own language ofposture and gesture. But since these body-lingosare often mutually incomprehensible, an innocentgesture made in an airport lounge may well be anunwitting insult.

Reading cames, A Jill Hadfield and Charles Hadfield I 995

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Happily l can report the BAlt's informationstaff are trained in body language.

A Sardinian woman asks if it is easy to find ataxi at Heathrow. The answer she gets is acheery British thumbs up. (Very likely from oneof the 900 cabbies who serve the airport on anaverage day.) ImmediatelS she clonks theunfortunate man with her handbag for makingsuch a devastatingly insulting suggestion. This iswhg incidentally it's not a very good idea tothumb a lift in Sardinia.

Isn't'there at least one truly internationalgesture? Don't bet on it.

A Japanese asks an American passengerwhether Heathrow has a luggage trolley service.It has. And as it happens, this service is not onlyfirst class, but FREE! So the Yank replies withthe famous 'A-OK' ring gesture. But to theJapanese this signifies 'money' and he concludesthere is alarge charge for the service.Meanwhile, a Tirnisian on-looker thinks theAmerican is telling the Japanese that he is aworthless rogue and he is going to kill him.

In America thismeans'A-OK'�.In Japan it

means 'money'.

In Tunisia it means'I'll kill you'.

I ' . . .

It is so easy to give offence. Suppose a passenger asks at theInformation Desk where he should go to pay his airport tax.

Now the good news is that at Heathrow, unlike many airports Icould name, passengers don't pay any taxes.But just as the Information Assistant begins tosay so, she is assailed by a tremendous itch andtugs at her earlobe.

Astonishing though it may seem, thissimple gesture means five different things infive different Mediterranean countries.

Depending on his nationality theAssistant has offered the passenger thefollowing insult:

TO A SPANIARD: 'You rotten sponger'.TO A GREEK:'You'd better watch it, mate'.TO A MALTESE: 'You're a sneaky little so-and-so'.TO AN ITALIAN:'Get lost you pansy.'

Only a Portuguese (to whom the gesturesignifies something ineffably wonderful) wouldhang around long enough to hear the answer.

This means fivedifferent things (four

of them insulting)five differentcountries.

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staff are trained in body language.A Sardinian woman asks if it is easy to find a

taxi at Heathrow. The answer she gets is acheery British thumbs up. (Very likely from oneof the 900 cabbies who serye the airport on anaverage day.) Immediatelg she clonks theunfortunate man with her handbag for makingsuch a devastatingly insulting suggestion. This iswhy incidentallg it's not a very good idea tothumb a lift in Sardinia.

Isn't'there at least one truly internationalgesture? Don't bet on it.

A Japanese asks an American passengerwhether Heathrow has a luggage trolley service.It has. And as it happens, this service is not onlyfirst class, but FREE! So the Yank replies withthe famous 'A-OK' ring gesture. But to theJapanese this signifies 'money' and he concludesthere is alarge charge for the service.Meanwhile, a Tunisian on-looker thinks theAmerican is telling the Japanese that he is aworthless rogue and he is going to kill him.

In Tunisia it means'I'll kill vou'.

In America thismeans'A-OK'�.In Japan it

means 'monev'.

It is so easy to give offence. Suppose a passenger asks at theInformation Desk where he should go to pay his airport tax.

Now the good news is that at Heathrow, unlike many airports Icould name, passengers don't pay any taxes.But just as the Information Assistant begins tosay so, she is assailed by a tremendous itch andtugs at her earlobe.

Astonishing though it may seem, thissimple gesture means five different things infive different Mediterranean countries.

Depending on his nationality theAssistant has offered the passenger thefollowing insult:

7O A SPANIARDT 'You rotten sponger'.TO A GREEK:'You'd better watch it, mate'.TO A MALTESE: 'You're a sneaky little so-and-so'.

TO AN ITALIAN:'Get lost you pansy.'

Only a Portuguese (to whom the gesturesignifies something ineffably wonderful) wouldhang around long enough to hear the answer.


This means fivedifferent things (four

of them insulting)in five different

countrles.

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In France itmeans 'zeto'.

The ring-gesture can have further meanings.A Frenchman has just read a BAA advertisement.

Glancing around the restaurant in Terminal 4, heremarks wonderingly to his wife, 'You know how muchzis aeroport cost the British taxpayer? Not a sou'. And he

makes the finger and thumb ring which to himmeans 'zeto'.

Unfortunately, at the time he is glancing ata Colombian who is enjoying a fineBurgundy with his steak Bearnaise. The

Colombian, enraged by the deadly obscenitywhich he assumes is directed at him, chokes onhis wine and catches at his nose with fingerand thumb.This appalls a Syrian sitting opposire, who

thinks the Colombian is telling him to 'go to hell'.The Syrian is restrained with difficulty by his

Greek colleague from getting up and punching theColombian on the nose. Meanwhile the maitre d'

hurries over and attempts to calm the situation with twoout-thrust palms. This of course is taken by the Greek tobe a double-'moutza'and in his rage he promptlyskewers the unfortunate man with his fish knife.

Something in your eye? Think before you touch the lower lid.If a Saudi sees you, he'll think you're calling him stupid, but aSouth American seflorita will think you're making " p"s "ther.

There is no greater insult you can offer a Greek than tothrust your palms towards his face. This gesture, called the'motJtza', is descended from the old Byzantine custom ofsmearing filth from the gutter in the faces of condemnedcriminals as they were led in chains through the city.So vile is this insult that in Greece even the ChurchillianVictory-V is taboo, as it looks like a half-'moutza,.Thus the Cretan or Athenian traveller, ordering twoteas in a Heathrow restaurant, will carefully reversehis palm and give the waiter two fingers.Ylith 22,600 orders for cups of tea open romisinterpretation every da5 the wonder is the placefunctions at all.

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Answer as many questions as you can and then ask other students for help.

What is a 'moutza'?

What is a 'Victory V'?

Where would 'two fingers' be an insult?

Why is it inadvisable to thumb al i f t in Sardinia?

5 What does a 'thumbs-up'sign

mean in Britain?

What would a Syrian think if youheld your nose?

^^.7 a Where would this be insulting?

b Where in the world might a mangesture to a woman?

make this

.^.8 What does this mean:

a in France?

b in America?

c in Japan?d in Tunisia?

e in Columbia?


9 Translate the above gesture intoa Spanish

b Greek

c Maltese

d l tal ian

e Portuguese

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A cross-section of British children and their grandparents were interviewed on the topicslisted below. Their answers showed how much attitudes have changed in the last 50 years.Before you read their answers discuss with a partner how you think children's lives indattitudes have changed over the last 50 years.

Now put a-k to match the texts with the topics.

5O years ago

Kids and Clothes

Kids and Games

Kids and Money

Kids and Transport

Kids and Home

Kids and Holidays

Kids and Discipline

Kids and Bedtime

Kids and Food

Kids and Music

Kids and School

2 Choose the headings which apply to your text. Write them down on the back of thispaper and make brief notes under each heading.

Then ask the others in your group for information about the other headings.


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50 yeqrs ago: Families were larger, working hours longer and incomes 1o..,^.Most fathers were in full.time employment, but there was littre *ork fo,,

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women, and those,who he.lped by tiking in washing or i"*ins r"it u sense ofshame. Most people lived in rented or council property, without bathrooms,indoor toilets, electricity or hot water. But you could leave your homeunlocked * vandalism was non-existent and policernen wele respected.Children were safe on the streets, too - sexual attacks were unheard of.

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50 years ago: There were a lot of makebelieve games andchildren entertained themselves by making up games, They

D played. with friends, brothers and sisteis ina oni of their- favourites was dressing-up. Funfairs were special - they,d walkaround and decide which ride they'd go on.

50 years ago: Children had three sets of clothes -best for church, second best for school and oldclothes for playing - all in dull colours and oftenitchy material. Most were home-made andmended for as long as possible before beinghanded down to younger siblings. 'My fatheralways sent me to school in shoes,'said one 60-year-old - boots were a social stigma.

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50 years ago: Bicycles were used by adults andteenagers, but.were too expensiv.e to give to 10-year-olds. They walked to and from school, and camehome for lunch - children would often w"f[i"""rrfmi[e.s.a day- Private cars were rare, and many,couldn't afford to use public transport regularly.

50.years ago: There was n9 music aimed specifically at

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50 years ago: Very few children received pocket moneyregularly, They earned pennies by returning empty bottlesand jam iars and running errands, but were rarely paid forhelping in the house. Children spent their earned moneyimmediately in case it was taken from them by theirparents. Many rushed straight to the sweet shop (a MilkyBar was a treat, as it was very rich) and they'd suck their'chocolate bars to make them last longer. They also spenttheir money on comics and trips to the cinema.

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tffill*,fi*',affil3if,',lH,,,,,,50 years ago: A big issue. Parents, teachers,

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50 years ago: lt was porridge for breaHast andbread and jam for tea after school. Best mealwas the Sunday roast. Salads, fruit and poultry

E were rare and favourite treats were cakes andhome.made ginger beer.

50 years ago: The three Rs were allimportant and children had regular spellingand mental arithmetic tests. The 1 1-plus wistheir big academic hurdle and they hfts c h o o l a t 1 4 o r 1 5 .

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Today

Today: They get up as late as 8.30 a.m., and go to bed between8.30 and 10.30 p.m. The days are differentiated according totelevrsion programmes and after-school activities. Any chiliren whohave to look after younger brothers and sisters describe them as

A 'pests' or a 'menace .

Today: Children are rich by comparison, with between 50p andf3.50 a week to spend as they like. Pocket money is supplementedby money earned from washing up, tidying their bedrooms orhelping with the gardening. Most children have bank and buildingsociety accounts, and they save for large items like stereos, TVs andclothes.

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Today: Children have their own stereo systems or Walkmans. Theyhear music on the television, videos, records, tapes and radios. FiveStar and Madonna are the current favourites.

Today: Children look fonrvard to their annual family holidays.Self<atering, camping and villa holidays are popular. They usuallygo somewhere different every year, travelling by plane or car,and the majority of 1O-year-olds have been abroad at least once.

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Today: Children expect to be entertained and oftencomplain o{ being bored. Most prefer to play on thekown in their rooms with a computerised game. Nearlyall love going to funfairs, but aren't happy unless theyhave a ride on everything.

Today: Homes are comparatively well equipped and comfortable. The luxury ofa bathroom and toilet are taken for granted. Fathers in work are more likely tobe in a-service industry or self-employed. Mothers work full or part-time, but

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Today: Chifdren have new bicycles which they'vebought or received as presents. But because of the

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Today: Many children find school 'boring'.

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Today: Kids wear a large variety of casual clothes in brightH colours. No one talks about wearing hand-me-downs. There

are special 'best' clothes, and new outfits are boughtthroughout,the year. T-shirts, jeans, track suits and trainingshoes are all popular among l Syear-olds.

Today: A non-issue. Most children expect to be able to 'get

away with anything'. lf they're cheeky or nrisbehave, they'regenerally sent to their rooms, but it isn't a deterrent. lt's nolonger a case of children being seen and not heanmore to children these difront or them.

ays and discus *unu,n,,tru3f.ti'ilito

Today lf children eat breakfast at all, they munch cereal and then have lunch atschool. There are no fixed mealtimes and fewer family meals. They often help

K :::H;JS:JTff::'.,j?:try-il::lJxl'J;,:l"'theTV Fam'ieseat outoften and

Reading cames, A J i I Hadf ie ld and Char les Hadf ie ld 1995

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SIX IN THE BED

Large families were common/ and homes were small and crowded. This usuallymeant sharing not only a room but also a bed with a number of brothers andsisters. A London man, Mr Forbes, remembers his childhood in lslington in theearly 1900s:

'We had all the boys in one bed - six of us lined up with three at thetop and three at the bottom. My four sisters shared the other bed andthat filled the room. There was a curtain across the middle and whenmy eldest sister got bigger she slept in the living room or at my aunt'snearby.'

It was quite common for older children to go and live with relatives for a whilewhen space became a problem at home. Children were often sent out of thehouse to play because there just wasn't room for everyone to be in the home atonce.

Most children probably saw much more of their mothers than their fathers.Working hours were very long and by the time a man got home he was verytired or the children were in bed:

'My father, he didn't have a lot to do with us really. I mean he was atwork all day. He was strict, strict to a certain extent but it was motherreally who brought us up. My father was at work and when he used tocome home it was bedtime nearly for us you see, and we didn't see aright lot of him.'

Elizabeth Roberts, 'Workihg-Class Women in the North West'

Since working men had little time or opportunity to be involved with bringingup the family it was considered a woman's, not a man's job, But in industrialtowns many women went out to full-time work too. There were no nurseries orcr6ches, and babyminding was usually done by a relative or neighbour - oftena very young girl or an elderly woman. Because the working day was ten hoursor more it was difficult for mothers to organise babyminding:

'l myself had some very hard times, as I had to go out to work in themill and put the baby out to nurse. I had to get up by four in themorning and get my baby out of bed, wash and dress i$ and thenleave home by five, as I had half an hour's walk to take my baby to mymother's, and then go to my work and stand all day till half past five atnight and then walk home again with rny baby. I had to do this withthree of them.'

Margaret Llewelyn Davies (ed) Maternity

Many politicians and doctors blamed working mothers for neglecting theirchildren, believing that men should work and women should stay at home. Thisstatement is a typical one for the times. 'For a mother to work outside the homeis in every respect an individual mistake, a social tragedy, a communal blunder.'Child Welfare Conference, 1890s.

In fact many families could not survive without the mother's as well as thefather's income. And this is stil l true of manv families today.

Reading Games, @ Jill Hadfield and Charles Hadfield

LIFE WAS HARD

Life was hard and rough for working people in Britain at the end of the lastcentury. From a very early age children were expected to do all they could to helptheir parents, in order that the family could survive, as this description of a countrychildhood in the '1870s illustrates:

'Boys fed poultry and pigs and soon were milking and cufting firewood.By eight years they could do much more than all that. Girls had to bathlittle brother and sister just a size smaller than themselves and staggerwith pails of water from the tap fifty yards away when scarcely taller thanthe pails they carried between them. To 'help'was the price of contactwith beloved and admired parents; even tiny ones understood that ourparents could not'manage' without us.'

Mabel Ashby, /osep h Ashby of Tysoe

In working-class families girls were responsible for looking after the youngerchildren while their mothers were busy. One writer described the girls in the EastEnd of London in the 1880s as 'l ittle mothers':

/At the open door sits a girl of eight ... a typical 'little mother' of theLondon doorstep ... She is nursing a heavy baby who is perhaps a yearold. She talks to it, soothes it, hushes it to sleep, rocks it, dandles it whenit wakes up, and kisses its poor little face again and again. But every otherminute her attention is distracted by the conduct of a sister, aged four,and a brother, aged five, who are also under her guardianship ... Becauseshe is the oldest of all that have come, all that come after are hers to tendand hers to watch. By the time she marries and has children of her ownshe will be a woman weary of motherhood.'

George Sims, How the Poor Live

This writer, brought up at the turn of the century, describes his duties as a youngbov:

'l could milk a cow by the time I was seven years old and when eight Iearned sixpence a day at harvest time for'stanarding' - that is holdingthe horse still by its head while sheaves of corn were loaded on the cart. Iwould walk on at a command, then on the word 'stanard' I would stop. ltmeant'stand hard' or stil l. Then at the end of the week I would line upwith the men to get my pay. Most I gave to Mum to help buy boots whichwore away quickly on the grifty country roads.'

George Noakes, To be a Farmer's Boy

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CHITDREN SHOUTD BE SEEN AND NOT HEARD

Old people's memories:'l once answered my mother back and she boxed my ears for it. I never did it again.,'You weren't allowed to ch{ter. lf spoken to you spoke back, but having too much tosay wasn't allowed.,

In both rich and poor families, parents seem to have been strict about children's behaviour, forexample, silence at meals was a common rule; only ,please, and ,thank you, were allowed.Fussiness over food was not tolerated - you had to eat everything you were given or it wasserved up for the next meal. There was no choice either and little variety; many children gotbread and margarine or jam for most of their meals. Children were often taught to say grice -or at least in front of visitors. Maud Pember Reeves described her visit to the home of Mrs p. inLondon at the beginning of this century:

'When in the visitor's presence the little P's have swallowed a hasty dinner, whichmay consist of a plateful of /stoo' or perhaps a suet pudding and treacle, takenstanding, they never omit to close their eyes and say 'Thang Gord fer me good dinner- good afternoon Mrs R,' before they go. Mrs P would call them back if thlv did notsay that.'

Maud Pember Reeves, Round About a pound a WeekAdult discussions were considered unsuitable for children. Many people remember beingforbidden to read the newspapers or having to leave the room when adults were talking.Children were expected to know their place in the world - after adults - and in this order ofthings boys came before girls. Parents may have been stricter with their daughters than withtheir sons, as Molly Hughes describes:

'My father's slogan was that boys should go everywhere and know everything andthat a girl should stay at home and know nothing. The boys used to go to thelheatreand music halls. Mother explained that they were not dull, only not very nice. ltmade no difference to me what they were like since I was never allowed to go evento a theatre.'

Molly H ugh es, A London Child of the t B70sWhen it came to punishments it seems that boys were more likely to be beaten than girls. Thiswriter vividly remembers his mother,s policy:

'A common feature of the time was a length of leather hanging on the kitchencupboard for the chastisement of children. ,,For bad boys,,,my mother told us, //ayard of strap is worth a mile of talk.,,

Robert Roberts, A Ragged SchoolingA minor crime could lead to harsh punishment. Grace Foakes described what happened whenher brother stole a twopenny lamp:

'He took Robert into the bedroom, locking the door after him. He made him stripand gave him a terrible beating with the belt he wore round his waist. I shall neverforget Robert's cries or my mother's tears. He was btack and blue with bruises nextmorning ... I do not think Robert ever forgave my father.,

Grace Foakes, Between High Walls


APPEARANCES

In most working-class families money was too scarce to buy new clothes, and onlythe eldest got bargains from the second-hand stall, or things made by their mothers.The younger ones wore'hand-me-downs'which were often too big, patched andmended, and much hated. Being in fashion was sinqply out of the question.Photographs taken at the time show how common it was for children to play in thestreet and to go to school barefoot because their parents couldn't afford to buyshoes.

Before they started school, boys and girls had to share and swap clothes and in factall boys including those in well-off families, wore dresses until they were 'breeched'

- i.e. given their first pair of trousers at about the age of three.

'We were all in skirts in those days. We only started to wear knickers(trousers) when we started school, so we all looked very much alike.'

George Noakes, To be a Farmer's Boy

Hairstyles were a different matter. Cirls usually had long hair while boys wore theirscropped short. Crace Foakes, who grew up in the East End of London at the turn ofthe centurv, describes hers:

/Every Friday night at bath time my mother would wash our heads withsoda, water and Sunlight soap, and then plait it into many plaits. Thesewould not be undone until Sunday, when they were loosed, crimped andshining. My brothers went to a barber who would give them what was acalled a'prison crop'. Every bit of hair was shaved off. This was very cold inwinter but the hair took longer to grow if cut this way.'

Grace Foakes, Between High Watls

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@ New Year's Day: t lanuary

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@ Kissing FridayA teacher writing to the Yorkshire Post tells how after AshWednesday, comes Kissing Friday. A few years before, whenshe arrived at a country school and was taking a mixed classof 1 S-year-old children in country dancing, she saw the leadingboy suddenly lean across and kiss his partner, who showed nosign of embarrassment. When, as teacher, she expressed hersurprise, the boy said, ' l t 's all r ight, Miss. You see, it 's KissingFriday', and explained that on Friday following Shrove Tuesdayany lad had the right to kiss any girl without being resisted.

The year should begin happi ly , they say, so that i t wi l l endhappily, and on the first morning of the new year children inScotland, Wales, and the English border counties rise early sothat they may make the round of their friends and neighbours.'On January 1st, ' writes a 1 3-year'old Scottish girl, ' l always goNew Year's Cift ing with my sister and friends, about four of us.I get up about 7 o'clock and call for my friends and go roundthe houses and farms.' They sing (although Christmas is sevendays old):I wish you a merry Christmas,A happy NewYear,A pocket full of moneyAnd a cellar full of beer,A good fat pigTo last you all the year -Plea3e to give me a NewYear's CiftFor this New Year.

'We do not always get money, we sometimes have mincepiesor apples.' Nevertheless they collect 'nine or ten shil l ings everyyear', although gift ing must be finished by midday. 'You mustbe gone before twelve o'clock or they wil l call you a fool andthe people won't give you anything, and when the people seeyou next t ime they wil l all shout fool at you.' ln some vil lages,such as Bleddfa and Llangunllo, the girls save their gift ingmoney and keep it for a special outing.Across the border in England, children also call at houses,visit ing as many of the scattered homesteads as they can,reciting:

rHappy NewYear l Happy NewYear l\ l 've come to wish you a Happy NewYear.l 've got a l itt le pocket and it is very thin,Please give me a penny to put some money in.lf you haven't got a penny, a halfpenny wil l do,lf you haven't got a halfpenny, well -God Bless You !

All the streets are crowded with children, running, skipping,and jumping. '

At Toddington in Bedfordshire when the traditional PancakeBell is rung at twelve noon, the children rush out of school, asthey have done for generations, and flock to Conver Hil l to putthei r ears to the ground to hear ' the Old Woman f ry ing herpancakes' underneath.

At Scarborough where a Pancake Bell is also rung (as at manyother places), the special joy to the young, and even to the notso young, is the mass-skipping on the Foreshore, an exercisewhich has been traditional at Scarborough on Shrove Tuesdayfor 200 years. By the af ternoon, even in f rosty or snowyweather, the Foreshore is alive with skippers and the roadwaybecomes utterly blocked to traffic. Townsmen and people fromthe surrounding vil lages bring great lengths of clothes-line withthem, and skip ten and even fifteen abreast in each rope.

Away in the West Country children sti l l sing:Tinnot r r t innp f \ / t in

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Give me a pancake and I wil l come in.T i ^ ^ 6 i U f i n n 6 f \ / f ^ 6| , P } J ! L y , L ' } / l ! / e L J L v ! ,

Give me a pancake and I wil l go.'lf your doors are left open,' writes a correspondent, 'the childrenwith blackened faces wil l creep in and throw a load of brokenc rocks a l l ove r t he f l oo r and t r y t o l eave unseen . l f t hehouseholders chase and catch them they further black their faceswith soot, and then give them a cake before letting them go.'

'And so it proved. For at each break in lessons every girl wassoundly kissed by any boy she encountered. It was useless forme to expostulate, so I did not try. But each year as KissingFriday came round, the school was in turmoil. '

A correspondent to the same paper recalled that when he wasa boy he and his fellows used to pinch each other's ears. AYorkshi reman broadcast ing in January 1 955 recal led that ,when a boy, on Kiss ing Day, the boys would chal lenge a l lcomers, their girl fr iends in particular, by putting a rope acrossthe road on the way to school and demanding either a kiss ora forfeit.

o;jHY?^!"t^?f l3l*,*,,For centuries Shrove Tuesday has been a day of high festivalf o r app ren t i ces and schoo l ch i l d ren . l t has been a day o ff eas t i ng , cock f i gh t i ng , and th row ing a t cocks , a day fo rfootball, rowdiness, and rebell ion. And it is pleasing to find thati t is s t i l l a specla l day for ch i ldren in some par ts of England,where 'Pancake Day', as they call i t, is kept as a school holiday.

A 1 S-year-old girl writes:'My specia l day is Pancake Day, every chi ld has a hol iday.Sometimes a fair comes to Longton and I think that everyonegoes, Some children make up rhymes about pancake day sucha s -Pancake Tuesday, mother's busy baking,We are helping, lovely pancakes making,Pancake Tuesday, mix them up and fry them,When they are done you can come and try them.'

A 14-year old girl writes:'A day that I always remember is Shrove Tuesday. On this dayas we all know we have pancakes. We have the whole day offfrom school and the thing I remember about it is that all thechildren sing -

Pancake day is a very happy day,lf we don't have a holiday we'l l all run away,Where shall we run, up High Lane,And here comes the teacher with a great big cane.


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April Fool's DayThe first day of April ranks amongst the most joyous days inthe juvenile calendar.' l t is a day when you hoax f r iends of yours wi th jokes l ikesending them to the shop for some pigeon's mi lk , or te l l ingthem to dig a hole because the dog has died; when they comeback and ask where is the dead dog you say "April fool" andlaugh at them.

Teachers come in for their share of the fooling, and accordingto a 1 2-year-old girl are the most exciting prey:'The best i6ke I ever saw was in school when one of our girlsbrought another girl dressed as our new needlework mistressinto the form room. She was introduced to the mistress whowas taking us, and she was completely taken in. She even toldus to stop laughing at the new mistress. Then we shouted "April

Fool" to her and we all had a good laugh.'And parents, of course, are not exempt. 'We have a lovelyt ime, 'says an 11-year-o ld Swansea g l r l , 'as there are so manyjokes to p lay such as sew ing up the bo t tom o f Daddy ' strousers.'And a 9-year-old Birmingham boy writes:

'Last year I fooled father by glue-ing a penny to the floor andsaying "Dad you've dropped a penny on the floor." He couldn'tget it off the ground because it was stuck firm, then I shouted"Yah, Apr i l Fool" . 'In Scot land the day is general ly known as 'Hunt igowk Day' .Thus a 12'year-old girl in Edinburgh writes:'Huntigowk is a day I love. I l ike to put a basin of water at theside of my sister's bed and hear her let out a yell 'when sheputs her feet into it. I also put an empty /ggshell in an eggcupso that when she opens it she finds that there is nothing insideit. I played a joke on my aunt once. She has a good sense ofhumour and can take any kind of a joke. When the butcher rangfor the order I told my aunt that it was her boy-friend (my auntis only in her twenties). So she rushed to the telephone andasked where he would meet her tonight. She did get a frightwhen the man said,"Madam ! What is the order for the butcher?""l ' l l go and ask," she stuttered, and when she walked into thekitchen to ask my mother I shouted "Huntigowk!"'

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May Dayi r u"y

On the first of May, in country districts, young maidens rise earlyand go out into the dawn, as they have done for centuries, to washtheir faces in the May dew. In Somerset children call this 'kissing

the dew'. In most places, the girls do so to ensure that they shallhave a beaut i fu l complexion for the rest of the year . In someplaces the girls pat the dew on their faces to rid themselves ofpimples. In others the dew is thought a certain cure for freckles. A13-year-old girl states that the rite is customary there because itis said to bring luck. And an

'1 1'year-old says that it is believed

that if, on the first of May, a girl washes her face in the morningdew she wil l marry the first man she meets thereafter.

The traditional custom of shouldering l itt le maypoles round thestreets or visit ing houses with may-garlands is sti l l practised insome districts.

A teacher writes from near Oxford:' l have made enquiries among my children in school and I f ind that... l i tt le groups are formed and a May Oueen is chosen. A smallmaypole is made and decorated with a garland a-top, and theOueen carries a stool upon which she sits for the ceremony, whichis performed at intervals along the streets. She, by the way, wearsa lace curtain and a ring on her finger, if possible. The rest of thecompany dance round her s inging:

Round and round the maypoleMerrily we go,Tripping, tripping l ightlySinging as we go.

O, the happy pastimeOn the v i l l :oc s rppn

Dancing in the sunshine -

Hurrah for the Oueen!

Here they all kneel on one knee and the Oueen stands up andsings:

I 'm the Oueen, don't you see,Just come from the meadow green;lf you wait a l i tt le whileI wil l dance you the maypole style.

My hair is long, my dress is short,My shoes are laced with silver,A red rosette upon my breastAnd a guinea gold ring on my finger.

Then all the company rises and, oddly enough, begins to hopround the maypole singing:

Hop, hop, hop, to the butcher's shop,I dare not stay any longer,For if I do my ma wil l sayYou naughty girl to disobey.'

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5 : O Hallowe€rt.r octoberl - a -

l_ i Many children attend Hallowe'en parties.. 'The best thing atrout

= i the party,'says one girl, ' is that you should go in fancy dress. The

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i most popular dress is a Witch's outfit, or something to do with- - i l ucky cha rms . l t i s sa id t ha t one o f t he l uck ies t t h i ngs a t alJ : ,;_

i Hal lowe'en party is for a person to come in with a lump of coalI

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i r o r u v v c u l r p d l L y l ) r u l d P t r l ) v l l L v L v l i l t r l l r v v r L i l q r u l i l p u r L U d l .

l-_ : The games traditionally played at Hallowe'en are mostly peculiar- : ro rnrs nlgnrI

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l - - i Duch App le . A l a rge bow l o r t ub i s f i l l ed w i t h co ld wa te r!.4 ; ttometimes soapy water) and a number of apples floated in itI

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L i One or two players at a time get down on their knees and, with> : . ,= : t leir hands behind their backs (not infrequently with their hands

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i t ied behind their backs), try to get hold of one of the apples with!-_ : their teeth. 'When they have done this they must l i ft the apple outl-{ i ^;

i oI the basin. I f they do this they may eat i t . 'I

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: ' ' L l l t r u o J l l l . l l l l l q y u v L l l l ) l l l g y l l l d y E d L l L .

l-_' : ' l f you take a bite of the apple nothing wil l happen to you, but, '

l-{ i ^.,r - : s^ults an I l-year-old, ' i f you miss, your head goes into the waterI

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L I w i t h a s p l a s h '- :- i forking for Apples. This is similar to Duck Apple but when thet - - :I : n l| : pra!e['S hands have been tied behind his back a fork is placed

= i !.tween his.teeth. He has to kneel on,orlean. over a.chair beside

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: the tub, and must try to stab one of the floating apples and lift i tE--_ i out.

Bob Apple is also known as 'Snap Apple', or 'Apple on the Line'.'First of all some sort of hook or nail must be available over adoorway. An apple is cored and the end of a length of string abouta yard long is t ied through the centre of the apple. The other endof the string is t ied to the hook or nail. The string is twisted andthe apple is sent sp inning round on the end of the st r ing, andpeople in turn try to catch the apple with their mouths and eat asblg a mouthful as they can

Ha l l owe 'en i s t he n igh t above a l l o the rs when supe rna tu ra linfluences prevail. \ \'At Midnight, ' says a 14-year-old in Aberdeen, 'all the girls l ine upin front of a mirror. One by one each girl brushes her hair threetimes. While she is doing this the man who is to be her husband issupposed to look over her shoulder. lf this happens the girl wil l bemarried within a year.''After they have done this,' continues the young Aberdonian, 'each

girl peels an apple, the peel must be in one piece, then she throwsthe pee l ove r he r l e f t shou lde r w i t h he r r i gh t hand . Th i s i ssupposed to form the init ial of her husband-to-be.'

Nuts are also in requisit ion.'A person has to place two nuts sideby side near the fire,' says a Golspie boy. 'One represents oneselfand the other stands for the person one hopes to marry. lf thenuts, when they catch fire, burn quietly beside each other, the twowill be married; if they burn vigorously and jump apart, the twowill have a row and part. '

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tr i @ Mischief Night: 4November a bucke t o f wa te r . I f t he pe rson w i l l no t buy she ge ts we tthrough.''On Mischievous Night, ' writes another, 'one of our tricks is tocollect some old tin cans, and tie them together with string. Thenwe fi l l them with ashes, t ie a loop at the other end of the string,and put that on a door knob. Somebody knocks on the door andeverybody hides. When the door is opened in fl ies the ashes, andthen all sorts of language is heard.''A favourite trick,' say several lads, ' is to tie two door knobstogether with a length of string, and knock at both doors at thesame time.'The boys run and hide in a place where they can seeboth doors, and 'watch the occupants tugging against eachother ' . Somet imes, as the householders tug more and morestrenuously, they creep out of thei r h id ing p laces and cut thestring, 'and both people' - so they hope - 'f ly backwards as thedoors fly open'. Alternatively, says a 12-year-old, 'a rope is t iedto a door handle, and one of the boys knocks on the door. Somemore boys hold the rope firmly, and when the man or womanattempts to open the door he cannot. Only when he pulls with allhis.strength do the boys let go of the rope. The man falls f lat onhis back. '

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i From coast to coast across northern England the 4 Novemberl-_- i has become 'Mischief Night', a night of humour and hooliganism.4 : ^ : ; ; , ^ - - ' ^ " , ^ " 4 ; , - ^ - " ^ - ^ " ^ ' " . , , - ^ ^ - + h ^ i 6 h y ^ ,

i un t h i s n igh t ch i l d ren a re ha l f unde r t he impress ion tha tI

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l - - : l aw lessness i s pe rm iss ib le . Househo lde rs ' f r on t doo rs a re4 i repeatedly assaulted with bogus calls, their gates removed, their

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i Orstbin l ids hoisted up lamp posts, their window panes daubedi---- i with paint, their doorknobs coated with treacle, their evening4

' v v l L l l V q l l l L , L l l g l l q u v l n l l v u J u v q L E u v v l L l t L l g q L l u , L l l u t t u v v t t r t t E

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i newspapers (projectlng from letter-boxes) exchanged, their milkl-- i bottles placed so that they wil l be tripped over, their house-- i numbers unscrewed and fixed on to other houses, their windowsl -

I i t apped , t he i r backya rds t u rned ups ide down and poss ib l yb :

= i. ransacked for tomorrow's bonfires,.their drainpipes stuffed.with

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i p a p e r a n d s e t a l i g h t . B o t h i n v i l l a g e s a n d i n g r e a t c i t i e s!--- i youngsters bent on mischief roam the streets in happy warfare' J i r " v ' b J L v ' J

: wr th the adul t wor ld.|

- : v v l l l I L l l c d u u l L v v u l l u .

l-._ i 'On Mischief Night, ' writes a 1 2-year-old, 'my friends and I do

- i r.nuny strange mischievous deeds. We knock at a door offering at -I : *,cman cabbages, meanwhile somebody climbs on the roof withb , i " '

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! i O New Year's Eve: rt December with wood, coal, and silver coins in his hands to ensure the welFbeing of the household for the coming year' (in some places). Heshould have 'a glass of wine in one hand and a Iump of coal in theother'. In others, where he is known as the ' lucky bird', he shouldhave a lump of coal and, if possible, a sprig of evergreen. 'A fewminutes before twelve o'clock,' writes a 14-year'old Scots girl, 'al l

the doors of the houses are opened to allow the spirit of the oldyear to depart. Then the clock strikes twelve, the church bellsring, the siren of the local mil l is sounded, and everyone wishese v e r y o n e e l s e " A G u i d N e w Y e a r ' . T h e n t o a s t s , k i s s e s ,handshakes, and usual ly "Auld Lang Syne" is sung. Wi th theadvent of the New Year groups of people go 'first-footing"' armedwith black bun, their "bottle", and perhaps a piece of coal. It isessential that the first man to cross the threshold in the NewYear is tall and dark, to bring luck to the household. The rest ofthe night is spent in eating, drinking, singing, and dancing.'

t :I i In Wales and in the nor th of Br i ta in a lmost a l l ch i ldren arel - i ^ r r , , ^ + i r - i n - i ^ L + ^ - ^ - ^ , . , ^ r , ^ - t t ^ + h ^ 6

Z i :|9'�'^/:9to':ryjq!'!1-Tl9'i9l-1?L1l'X\'.T:PlTi:i".t-l:ii they can watch the customs which let the Old Year out and bringl-- i ttre New Year in. Just before midnight, the ashes are cleared- i t rom the f i replace so that the year wi l l be begun afresh. Int :I ! several p laces, both the f ront door and the back door are-�14

i opened to assist the Old Year's departure and the arrival of the

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i New. Money, especially silver money, is placed outside the door,l-.- ! and bread and a piece of coal are put out as well to ensure) J : : "

i health, wealth, and happiness to the household when fetched inI

- . I t u d l L l l , w c d t L l t , d i l u l l d p p l l l t ) ) L U 1 i l t r l l v u ) t r l l v r u v Y l l t r l l l s L L l l s u ! r

l-- i the next day. In many English homes, as well as Scottish, theyg i await the first-footer who, when he arrives, is welcomed with theI ! warmest hospitality. It is a good thing everywhere if he is a manl - : , - ^ r r i ^ - r , L ^ i - ^ ^ ^ - n L ^ - n ^ ^ n ^ , U ^ r h ^ , , l i ' r r n a a f h a + h r n o h n l A

= i ' ,ull, dark-haired, and handsome'. He should 'cross the threshold

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i Reading Gamer @ Ji l l Hadf ie ld and Char les Hadf ie ld 1995I :

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write in the customs from this list in the right place on the calendar:

people place money and bread outside the doorgirls put nuts in the firegirls wash their faces in the dewchildren visit houses with garlands of flowerschi ldren tel l people things that aren' t t ruegirls brush their hair in front of the mirrorchi ldren play duck applepeople make and throw pancakeschildren ask for giftseveryone goes skippingboys can kiss any girl they likea bel l is rung

children play tricks on grown-upsgirls throw apple peel over their shoulderhouseholders welcome a tall dark man with wood, coal and silver coins


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Cutting from the South HamsClarion, 2 December 7926

Combe fo rd Po l i ce sa id l as tn ight

. th .at they wereinves t i ga t i ng a se r i es o ffinancial misdoings involvinga number of prominent localbusinessmen. It is thoueht thatthe.investigations are linked tothe mystery surrounding therecent Torcliff Hotel robbery .

Mr Char les Robson, of GreyH o u s e , C o m b e f o r d , w a sdetained for questioning lastn igh t , and i t i s t hough tcharges have been brought. Hei s t o appea r a t Newtonmagist rates cour t today. Mr

Robson has l ong beenassociated with the local hoteland res tau ran t t r ade , andfrorn'1.922-24 was chairman ofthe Southwestern Rotary Club.I t is not known how manyother people are involved, buiat least f ive prominent localf i gu res have been seenentering the police station inthe last twenty-four hours.

Readers will recall that in Junethis year a series of break insat local hotels culminated inthe theft of cash and jewelleryvaluing 120,000 from the fivestar Torcliff Hotel. At the timepolice were unable to link these r i es o f b reak i ns " bu t i n

Augus t Mr Cha r l esRobson ,who was managing director ofthe Torcliff, disappeared whilie ron a business trip to France.Reappearing six weeks later,he c la imed to have beenk idnapped and tha t h i sb ro the r W i l l i am had beenobl iged to pay a ransom ofs5000.

Mr Wi l l i am Robson i qunava i l ab le f o r commen t , 'hav ing been i nvo l ved i n amysterious road accident onDartmoor in November. He iss t i l l i n a coma in Exe te rH o s p i t a l , a n d p o l i c e a r ehoping to interview him oncehe regains conscioushbss.

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l-= : e6 Arithmetic: Nuxlat otlenttttas onflB oluklan, lo wtty416 bp, lwnk't {trb, attl lo utoull, lo oell

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= : j g Natural History: Matlz ha,a the bonn count)tqman"s ivutincuLve- h.now.(.edge 06 thi- i ?# Land, and h,i's ah.it(- in idenLL{qing the p0nnts and bind,s and aylLnat,s i} und.quol-- : .# He ahould Leann howeven tha.t 'homutoubt meana ,t,Ltting a.t lrcme wLth pen and p0.F i ffi and cannot. be intenpne,ted a.a aceompanqing cu.ta.Ln gei.tlenen on tlnbt (onat1a o1-_ : ffi pn Lvo.te Land undut covuL o$ danlzne'sa (rthpq:gh i.t mu,tt be taLd, tlv bnaee od- i ffi plwnsant tiluae moAt weleomzil- ; # Pnactica,(. urilLlz (e.g. a.t hanve,st Lind .i.t no doubt a u,tz[ul frrLefrtJLaLLon don a.- ! i$ cansul in a.gtvLeu,LtuJLt, none.tlplot,s id thLs nuce-5,si,ta.te,s continued pnolongedt : :,# abtznce's dnom Lo-saona we w(1,(- luve to Lnvo,lt,i,gqtg Mutz'a dutunz in the ,sc[tooL-= i #

Lothe^ mone clo,selq.

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Bujumbura, CentralAfrica, dated 12 October 1926

My deareot sister Olive,

My hearbf elt th anke f or Nhe p arcel whi ch arriv edoafely laeL week.You have no idea how much suchNokens of friendehip mean to ue, ae we labour forthe Lord in thie behighted, yet beautiful land. As 1 z

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wrile, lhe walers of Lake T an4anyika are ablazewith the eunoll f ires, and as the oin7le bell of our lowly chapel rinqo for evenoonq, Icannot help bul think of lhe Veal of bello which used to echo (and sti l l do I Nruot)around our qreen valley of Combeford, and Nhe fiquree of f,he eainte carved inloNhose old oak pewe.Think of me nexll ime you are in 5t Andrew's, and pray for myflock of Africane. They oinq eo beauNifully, and danae, and I f,ruly believe f,hey arenumbered amonqsl Nhe blessed (buf f i is hard work someNimeo, eopecially now therains are otarl inq, and lhe risk of fevers and olher ailments increaoeo), I wil l sendyou ohorlly eome examples of Nheir weavinq which is quite exquieiNe, and would nollook out of place ae a eet, of haosocks for 9t Andrevl s. This may poooibly reach youin l ime for Chrietmas.

Yours in lruel and fellowohiV,

Teace HooPer

@ willow cottageExtract from the Parish Magazine: 1 1 November, 1826

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And I cornmanded, and search';|;;; i""" made. and it is found

that this city of old tim.e hath maae"i"t"rr"rt;oi

against kings' yndiiat reb"llionhnd sedition haue

il"" *"a" therein' (Ezta' 4:19)

Sadly, we have to report that in

itrit ot.ittt of Combeford St

e'oal"*"' Iast week rwo o{ our

o.tirhio.t".! came to bloodY'"o*btt

of arms, and that one

Douglas Algernon Fortescue

Hosfin of Willow Cottage was

,t.itt bv his fellow, Matthew

i'^;;;kli" CooPer, of The old Barn

i rt* *l,tt . Pittol ball which

iltlJ rt;t l"ft l"ttg and wounded

il;- ,,to.tuttY' Duelling has been

outlawed bYAct of Parliament' Yet

still, it seems) our countrymen -"it.l,t" *."a1 combat over the law

of th" Itttd as a means to settle

disputes. We have all known

il;i h"*, and Douglas' since theY

were infants baPtized in our

parish font.Two f iner' more"";';;;;fi

voung men one could

;;;"ilp; tE ii"a iire lensth "'d -',breadth of the counry' And Yet' art

the education and Christian

,lotrrirreitts we have given them

H;;;;" io "aught' Douglas-lies

I".J, "ta Matt6w has fled for

i";; ;t yet unknown'we P-raY.i9r;;;;;,'h, and wish their families

""*tota in these times of distress'

Your PraYers are requested {or the

;;;;;.;" AmY sheldon of"Ci"."ft

C.a'age who came betwixt

them:ffto" tft"f, fear the LORD thy

C.a. "ta serve him, and shalt

swear bY his name' (DeuteronomY'

6:13)

On the second Th u rsday o fNovember . M iss Hosk in gave amost . in teresr ing ta lk io th;assembled ladies o=f the village onthe subject of .Ghosrs: where do

1ode1n Chr is t ians srand?. I r hasl l ig

b"": a subject or airpui.l-"iY""n the parishioners and rheml ,n rs t r y .whe the r o r no f ou rl : lou.O. church of St Anarew i inaunted by one or two ghos ts ,:lr"r..-91 .Crusaders killed"duringthe Middle Ages. What broughiMiss Hoskin's ialk righi up ro dareIt ,h:_L:yelarion ihut t ". o*,,

ji:,, I' sh,e_was hr"ci"s ;;ffi"")^j?,'ltil Miss Hoskln ii"i"Jvrcr r .a presence behind her in the' gard-en. She turned, and gtimpsejthe figure of a younsk i " ; i;";; ;;'rTJ',fiil'fi 'lTiapp.afltjon, but without a word helyit:l again, and seemed ro aim ap_rstol into the air, before vanishinglllto jhe sunlight. Miw H;;kl;wonders whether th is n"*lomffof ghosr is conneced wirhthe old tale of a duel in the villag;some one hundred years ago...

house, Wi l low Cot tage. seems to

*I:,.e'a^,:". o" eir iour,'rjuy]

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@ noneysuckle CottageTELEGRAM from Sam Harper, dated 12 May 1926,Cape Town.On board SS WINDSOR CASTLE, London-bound from Sydney

- r f f iMrs Agatha Harper Honeysuckle Cottage Combeford Devon

' f f f f d u I *

MOTHER AM ON WAY HOME STOP ARRTYE SOUTHAMPTON END MAY V\NLLCOME DIRECTLY TO DEVON STOP HOPE YOU ARE WELL AND HETTY AND BETSYTOO STOP HAVE MISSED YOU ALL AND REGRET MY LONG SILENCE STOPFATHER WROTE BEFORE HE DIED SAYING Go \,TEST YOUNG MAN STOP]NSTEAD I WENT EAST AND AM NO LONGER YOUNG BUT AM VERY RICH STOP IHAVE GREAT PLANS FOR YOU ALL AND HOPE YOU WILL BE F'IT ENOUGH TOTRAVEL BACK IArITH ME TO AUSTRALIA STOP THE WEATHER THERE IS MUCHKINDER FOR OLD PEOPLE STOP LOOKING FORWARD TO SEEING YOU AGAINAFTERALONGDECADE STOPLOVE YOUR SON SAMUEL

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is rfiirki^g o6 i^vitir+gt,iil;ilil; rt Lunc1"o,r teo ohre,rt{,e Celeilol\rJ.

^ . ̂ U!::, Lou0d gou te1|.,kimo, oitd,et sowe gtLee^poirt bo/L tfte ruir,tdousanA woodwonk nat ti,l.,e fte,s otJveuto ^ *anp.rt, Os rre trrot^t to geteleLUtkil.lg [epoi,rted ih tir4.e.

lkanbing gort ov,ce again!

Qowt neigkbout,

Gwev,Emdninck

T,a 20 APal, 1926

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Where did these people live? Mark a-k onthe village map.

a a businessman who was arrested for fraud

b an elderly lady who was in love with the vicar

c two lovers who weren't allowed to marry

d a naughty little boy

e the vicar

f a woman who became a missionary

g a couple who lived in the same house but neverspol5e to each other

h two men who fought a duel over a woman

i the woman they fought over

j a man who ran away to sea and then became amil l ionaire

k the ghost of a young man


Where did these people live? Mark a4 onthe village map.





e the vicar


g a couple who lived in the same house but neverspoke to each other










e the vicar


g a couple who lived in the same house but neverspoke to each other





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an elderly lady who was in love with the vicar

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a couple who lived in the same house but neverspoke to each other

two men who fought a duel over a woman

the woman they fought over

a man who ran away to sea and then became amil l ionaire

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I usually wake about six and get immediately out ofbed. Then I begin to wonder why. I have a fiendishattachment to something called Rose Geranium fromFloris so I take a shower with a cloth which is greenwith the stuff - it's so aromatic that people down thestreet know that l 've taken a shower and somehow Ifeel l've been pretty good to myself. I make verystrong coffee and sit in the sunroom with thenewspaper, the Winston Salem Journal, the onlypaper in town.

I love to read the letters to the editor. I like to seewhat angers people; only one in a hundred says 'l lovewhat youjre doing', the other 99 say they hate thepaper or this is nonsense or that is absolutely wrong. Ifeel as if l 've just met eight people, little humanvignettes. And I look outside, I spend a lot of timelooking outside. I l ive in a wooded area and I don'tthink, I just look,

At about 8.30 | start looking at the house because thehousekeeper arrives at nine and l'm stilltoo wellbrought-up to offer Mrs Cunningham a house in toomuch disarray so I straighten up before she comes in.She has been my housekeeper for six years now - my

At the time I suppose is tea-time for other people, Ihelp myself to a very nice drink - Dewar's White Labelwhisky - and I look at my paintings. l 'm a collector ofblack American art and I have paintings throughoutmy house, wonderful paintings that sing. lt 's a bighouse and I keep extending it. I always use the samebuilder and he says he's waiting for me to stretchdown to the next street just to give me more walls forthe paintings.

About seven I start to prepare dinner for myself; Idrink more than I eat, but I prepare a proper dinnerand put on candles and pretty music - all for me. lfl'm not good to myself, how can I expect anyone elseto be good to me? Then I read again, unless there'ssomething on the television. Often somethingmeaningless - sometimes I just don't want to beinformed, increased, elevated, developed, I wantsomething like an old Hollywood musical.

lf I do go out I l ike to go to friends - however, unlessthere is an issue which calls for immediate discussion, Idon't like cocktail chit-chat over lsrael, or the Arabs. Ithink everyone young should do that with lots ofcheap wine, sitting on the floor and shouting andarguing, but I don't do it now.

The issues have too much importance to beminimalised by someone saying, 'Now, where isSyria?' I love good stories, funny stories, told by theperson against him or herself. That's what I want of

Reading Games, @ Jill Hadfield and Charles Hadf ield 1995

sister has suggested that in another life she was astaff-sergeant. I give to her and she gives to me andwe live together with a lot of laughter. My secretary,Mrs Garris, also comes at nine and that's when reallife begins. Mrs Garris is a lovely southern black ladywith efficiency and grace vying for dominance in herspirit. She says, 'you've got to sign this, send that,agree to that, deny this ... ' and I say, 'Mrs Garris, I willtalk to you in an hour'.

At 10 | deal with my correspondence; I get about 300letters a week. People send me all sorts of things,especially manuscripts. lt's not fair, everybody's workdeserves the attention of a qualified editor and l'mnot that, so Mrs Garris writes back to explain that andto say that I don't read unsolicited manuscripts. Thenshe goes off to lunch and I usually invite friends over.l 'm a very serious cook and I prepare what to me is afabulous lunch for two or three people likebreadcrumbed turkey-breast cooked in butter, wineand lemon, served with rice and zucchini and there'smy home-made bread. I offer good wine and welaugh and talk.

an evening, then I go hometo bed by 12.

When l'm writing, none of anything I've said applies.When l'm writing, everything shuts down. I get up atabout five, take a shower and don't use the Floris - |don't want that sensual gratification. I get in my carand drive off to a hotel room; I can't write in myhouse, I take a hotel room and ask them to takeeverything off the walls so there's me, the Bible,Roget's Thesaurus and some good, dry sherry and l'mat work by 6.30. I write on the bed lying down - oneelbow is darker than the other, really black fromleaning on it - and I write in longhand on yellow pads.Once into it, all disbelief is suspended, it 's beautiful. Ihate to go, but l've set for myself 12.30 as the time toleave, because after that it 's an indulgence, itbecomes stuff l'm going to edit out anyway.

Then back home, shower, fresh clothes, and I goshopping for nice food and pretend to be sane. Afterdinner I re-read what l've written ... all that prettystuff l've written gets axed out. So if l've written 10 or12 pages in six hours, it ' l l end up as three or four if l 'mlucky.

But writing really is my life. Thinking about it whenl'm not doing it is terribly painful but when l'm doingit ... it 's a lot like if I was a long-distance swimmer andhad to jump into a pool covered with ice: it soundsterrible, but once in it and two or three laps done, l 'mhome and free ...

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Wherever I am, I wake up around eight o'clock. I donot have an alarm or wake-up call. Breakfast is coffeeand a croissant. Then I shower and put on make-up:some blue round my eyes and a bit of lipstick. For meit is important to feel good and look good.

l f I am at home I am out r id ing by nine. I r ide al lday.You have got to practise, practise, practise. I have 15horses, but I only take seven with me when l'mfighting.

I spent 10 years learning how to ride and kill bullsbefore I was good enough for the ring. Now I'mtaken seriously because I fight well, not because l'm awoman. I regard myself as just another bullfighter. Idon't want to take advantage of being female.

Fighting bulls on horseback makes men and womenequal, which is not the case on foot, where womenhave to be manly. Anyway, the bullfighter's outfitdoes not flatter female contours and there is nothingfeminine about a woman, covered in blood and sand,fighting a bull on foot.

I love evefihing to do with being a woman, eventhough I do a man's job in a very macho world. I can

handle the macho bit. The problems come from theresponsibility of knowing it is all down to me. Myworst moments are when I am faced with a hard bulland I am not doing well, or when I am training on myown in the cold and rain. lt is not all glory. Thenervous stress brings tears on occasions.

My parents are proud of me now but when I toldthem I wanted to be a bullfighter they were shocked.Fortunately they never stood in my way. I think theyreasoned that it was better to have a daughter with ahead full of foolish ideas than no ideas at all. But, asthe Spanish say, I was born for this.

I need to make f50,000 a year to pay for the horsesand the rest of my team.

I have fallen off a lot and I have been tossed at least10 times. The worst I have suffered is broken ribs' Ofcourse it is dangerous. The bull is there to kill you. Hedoesn't think it 's a game. When the bull gets you, ithappens so quickly that you hardly have time to react'You just know you have to get up and save yourself.

1 . . . . . ' . '

At home I enjoy cooking, but when l'm travelling, Ieat the regional food. lf I am near the sea, I eat fish;i f I 'm inland, I l ike lamb.

I am very, very superstitious. I was superstitious as alittle girl but I am more so now. lwill not put a haton a bed. You only do that when someone dies.When I leave my room, I leave the light on andexpect to see it stil l burning when I get back.

I dress in a certain order. First, I touch up my make-up, then I put on my breeches, my blouse, the jacket,and then I polish my boots. When I am dressed, myfriend Annie puts my hair up in a pony tail. Inside myblouse, dangling round my neck are five charms of LaVirgen del Rocio and La Macarena.

I am scared, not so much of being hurt, more offailure and criticism. Criticism hurts more than a fall.Some days, to do well, I take risks I would nototherwise consider. I know I risk my life but I don'tlike to talk about it. So far I have never thought I wasgoing to die. lf I ever have children, l ' l l stop. lt is notfair to take these risks if others depend on you. Theday I stop will be the day I wake and think: l 've hadenough; that's it.

During the season I see very little of Simon' Our pathsdo cross. My friends are the people I travel with. Idon't have hobbies. I don't take holidays' Maybe inthe winter, when I am not fighting, l ' l l go to Paris todo some shopping. There is a lot of administrationinvolved, such as making sure people get paid, or thelogistics of constantly being on the move, or last-minute changes and calamities to be sorted. I have tobe a businesswoman as well.

A glass or two of red wine calms me down, especiallybefore I go to bed. On the road, evenings usuallyconsist of supper with my team. I eat something offthe menu. l 'm in bed, hopefully asleep, by midnight'l 'm a light sleeper and I have recurring nightmares'One is that the horses aren't there. The most awfulone is a bull that chases me into the car, back to thehotel, and there's nothing I can do to stop it, until Iwake up with a start.


A typical day starts at 6 a.m. and t'l l have t 0 minuteslonger in bed while Billshaves. We have a television inthe bedroom and I watch the business news on theBBC. Sometimes I feel quite exhausted and think, ,OhLord, wouldn't it be nice just to lie here for anotherhour or two,' but once l'm up l'm fine.We go straight out to feed the horses and muck themout. There's no point in having a bath if you,re outdoing dirty work all day. I don't even make a cup oftea. We normally get back in about 7.30 and thenthere's the dog and two cats to feed while Bill willstart making arrangements for his day.Then we think about ourselves. I l ike a cookedbreakfast, but when l'm racing I try not to eat much sol'l l just have cereal and fruit. My average weight isaround 9st 9lbs and Bill is about the same. Sometimeshe's even lighter, which is very irritating and anotherincentive not to eat much. He's 37 and he encouragesme to go on and that keeps me feeling younger. Overbreakfast I read yesterday's papers, because today,shaven't arrived yet.

Magnus needs plenty of exercise and hard work andthat's not always easy as we don't have a lot of land.The horses go out six mornings out of seven, and atleast once a week we ride them on Dartmoor. Myhelper, comes round at about 8.30 and we get thehorses ready. Bill tries to arrange his work so that hecan come.

As soon as we back, around 11, Bill goes off on his callsand Trudy and I brush the horses and give them anytreatment they need. By the time that's finished andwe've brought the two younger horses in, and givenall of them their meal and cleaned up the tack andtidied the place up, it 's at least one o'clock. Trudy goeshome and I get some lunch.Usually I have soup and bread and cheese, withperhaps a beer or a glass of red wine, but that's morelikely in the evening.

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In the afternoon I do my work as the secretary for thepractice. I enter my husband's work from the previousday on the computer, type out letters and send outinvoices. Bad debts have become rather a problem:one chap left the country last year owing us f 1000.l've got tougher about it now and I chase people upon the phone because that's a lot more effective. I tellthem that if they don't pay up I shall take legal action.After a couple of hours I generally go intoOkehampton to bank any cheques that have arrived,post letters and do a little shopping. When I get back Ihave to walk the dog. She expects it and it helps tokeep me fit. I hate running so I walk as fast as I can,either up the hills or in the woods near our house. Atthis time of year l 'm not back til l about 5.30 but in thedarkness of winter it 's nearer 4.30 and I love to sitdown for half an hour and watch television.Then there's another round of mucking out andfeeding the horses. I get back about seven and it,s only

then that I think about supper. l ' l l generally makesomething from mince or chops with our ownvegetables. l 've just got time to have a bath while thevegetables are cooking. l 'm afraid I don't do much tolook after my skin; I sometimes remember to use amoisturising cream at night but I never use cosmetics. Isometimes look at other people and think: 'Gosh,

wouldn't it be nice to be made up like that,' but l 'msimply too lazy.

My husband will probably be back by this time andwe'll have a drink and talk about the day. Mostevening we eat between 8.30 and nine and thenwatch the news. l ' l l fa l lasleep and my husband wi l lwake me at 9.30 and we'll go out and take a last lookat the horses, and then we're ready for bed.Basically there isn't any evening. I'm always prettyshattered by the time I get into bed. My head hits thepillow and the next thing I hear is the alarm ringing.

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Personal information

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Daily Routine

Wake up

Get up

Breakfast

Morning activities

Lunch

Afternoon activities

Dinner

Evening activities

Hobbies and Interests

Likes and Dislikes

Five adjectives to describe your character?

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( Maya Angelou has been a prostitute, aconductor on the San Francisco street-cars,a singer and dancer, a poet and a civil rightsworker. She is now Reynolds Professor ofAmerican Studies at Wake Forest Universityand a best-selling author around the world.Ms Angelou is 59 and lives alone in NorthCarol ina.

Marie-Sara Bourseiller 28, is theworld's only professional'rejoneadora'-female horseback bullfighter. Shebecame fully-fledged two and a halfyears ago in Nimes, Provence, where shelives on a big ranch with the bullfightimpresario and breeder Simon Casas.

Rosemary Henderson 51, entered the1994 Grand Nationalon her horse Fiddler 'sPike, which she calls Magnus. She worked asa secretary in London and New York beforerunning a stable in Gloucestershire. She rodeher first winner in 1973. She lives with herhusband Bill, who is an equine vet, andtrains their four racehorses nearOkehampton, Devon.

Reading Gamer @ Jill Hadfield and Charles Hadfield 1995

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A headmaster of a boy'sschool explains'Why Ibecame a schoolboy cheat'.

I know I should have told theheadmaster at the time. That was my realsin.

He had gone out of the study for somereason leav ing me a lone and in h isabsence I looked to see what was on hisdesk. In the middle was a small piece ofpaper on which was written the words'English Essay Prize 1.949: History is astring of biographies'.

A moral boy would have avoidedlooking at the title as soon as he saw theheading. I did not. The subject of theEnglish Prize was kept a secret until thestart of the exam so I could not resistreading it.

When the headmaster returned I waslooking out of the window.

I should have told him what hadhappened then. It would have been soeasy to say: 'I'm sorry but I saw the titlefor the English Essay Prize on your desk.You'll have to change it.'

The opportunity passed and I did nottake it. I sat the exam the next day and I

won. I told myself I should have wonanyway, but that is not the point. I didn'tset out to cheat, but it was still cheatingnevertheless.

That was 38 years ago when I was 18.The fact that the detai ls are so clearsuggests that I feel very guilty about it. Ihave never told anyone about it before,nor have I tried to explain to myself whynot.

The obvious explanation is that I couldnot admi t I had seen the essay t i t lewithout admitting that I had been lookingat the things on his desk; a good exampleof how a little error can trap you in amore ser ious moral corner. But theremust have been more behind it. I wantedthat prize very badly,

I think that is the reason I have hiddenfrom myself for so long. I needed thatpr ize to beat my arch r i va l . He hada l ready won the Eng l ish Verse andHistory Prizes.

It would be unbearable if he managedto beat me again. The prize I chose, alarge anthology of verse entitled Poetry ofthe English speaking World is still on mybookshelf. I have often used the book.Inside the cover it says 'English Essay1949"

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A novelist asks 'How could Ifail my little granddaughter?'

My daughter Amy has a very beautifulone-year-old daughter. Her appearanceseems to me even more astonishing whenI take a look at my own - ravaged by 83years of Life's struggle.

One lovely day I was left alone withmy granddaughter in charge of theMiracle. At one o'c lock the baby washaving a nap and I was enjoying myfavourite snack, a banana, and listening tothe radio. I bi t into the banana - andsomehow, four new and expensive falseteeth broke loose and stabbed through mytongue. At the same time the lump ofbanana stuck in my throat and I could notsucceed in extracting the teeth from mytongue, which was now gushing blood.

Just to compound this unnaturaldilemma, my darling began crying fromher cot demanding to be lifted, fed andplayed with. With the banana advancingdown my throat i t was a desperatemoment. Why not telephone anambulance? Because I couldn't speak, youfool.

All this time, my darling was howlingfrant ical ly. I knew her face would begoing blue while I choked on the banana.When I looked at my own face in themirror, it was turning from purple toblack. It was in these circumstances thatthe doorbel l rang and I staggered toanswer it.

A tall and handsome black man wasstanding in the doorway. Dreadlocks fellover the collar of his smart dark suit. 'I'm

the Cas,' he introduced himself. I couldonly open my mouth as wide as I couldand point. 'Ah, ' he said and, withouthesitation, put in a finger and thumb andpulled my tongue free. Then, with no signof disgust, he held both his palms beneathmy chin to receive my four teeth and thelump of banana.

He made me a cup of tea while I liftedMaryanne from her cot. Quicklycomforted, huppy and amused, shedabbled her fingers in my tears of reliefand gratitude, and licked them off mycheeks.

Reading Gamet O J i l l Hadf ie ld and Char les Hadf ie ld 1995

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A writer rememhers 'The

l ies ltold the gentlemancaller'.

Some years ago my husband and Iseparated, and soon afterwards, I had aseries of visits from gentlemen callers.They came to comfort me they said. Iwasn't convinced, Mostly I wasn't veryreceptive, and they took their comfortelsewhere, for the world is ful l ofdeserted women. One of them refusedto go however, and over the monthsthat fol lowed, I was amazed by hissheer tenac i ty . H is name was JohnHarper. I only went out with him once.We had dinner, and he offered me 3courses of comfort . When we lef t , Ivaguely promised to get in touch. Hesent me several bouquets of flowers andphoned daily.

He was so persistent that I began tohate him. I instructed *y teenagedaughters who were at home at the timeto answer each phone-call. 'If it's JohnHarper say I'm out,' I would yell. Hebecame a family joke, and we evenmade up songs about him.

Every t ime the telephone rang Iwould yell,'lf it's John Harper, I'm out.'The girls would yell it in company withme. And then, one day, the inevitable

happened. When the phone rang, bothmy daughters were out. I picked up thephone and I was t rapped. To mysurprise I felt sorry for him and foundmyself inviting him to supper. He wasmore surprised than I was. As soon as Iput the phone down I regretted theinvitation.

He arr ived at eight, with a hugebunch of roses. I welcomed him whilemy daughters giggled uncontrollably.Somehow or other we madeconversation over the drinks. He stillinsisted on comfort ing me. I t was arelief when we eventually sat down tosupper.

Everything was fine until the dessert.I had just served the chocolate moussewhen the phone rang. As soon as Iheard the bell,like some Pavlovian dog,I automatical ly screamed across thetable, 'If that's |ohn Harper, I'm out.'Even the insistent r inging of thetelephone could not disguise the silencethat fel l . My chi ldren f led from theroom and lef t me alone with JohnHarper and the silence.

I decided that there was no way out,Ihad to tell him the whole truth, eventhough it would hurt him. He got upand left immediately and I never heardfrom him again.

Reading Games, A J i l l Hadf ie ld and Char les Hadf ie ld 1995

A journalist remembers 'My datewith two girls.'

In 7969 I was working as a newspaperreporter and living in London, with someone Ishall call Person A. One day in the office, myeye fell on a temporary secretar/, whom I shallcall Person B. Swaggering up to her desk Iinvited her out to lunch.

Over lunch she told me that she had beenmarried but was now divorced and living ather parents' house. I leaned across the table.'Can I see more of you,' I said. To which sherepl ied, 'Wel l , I am completely free thisweekend.'

Such an idea would normally have beenimpossible, but Person A was due to go intohospital that Thursday and stay there until thefollowing Tuesday. The coast would thus betotally clear for me to entertain Person B in ourflat for the whole weekend.

The only difficulty was the journey she mustmake to my flat from her paients' home. Justget a taxi' ,I told her grandly. 'I'll pay.'

On Friday I went to see Person A in hospital.'I've got some great news,' she said. 'They saidI can come home tomorrow.' 'Fantastic,' I said.

I walked very calmly from the ward,breaking into a run as soon as I was out ofsight.

Clearly it was essential to contact Person Band stop her arriving. But how was I to findher? I didn't know her telephone number oraddress. I only knew that she was living withher parents.

Her surname was an unusual one. So Idecided to look in the phone book until, with asinking heart , I remembered she was adivorcee. Her name would be different fromher parents. The phone book was no good. So Iabused my position as a journalist.

I rang up the police in the area where PersonB lived. I said I was a reporter investigating animportant story, trying to find a young woman

in that area. I asked the sergeant to go throughthe electoral register to see if there was anyonewith Person B's surname.

The sergeant was extremely patient andsearched painstakingly. But no one withPerson B's surname was listed on the electoralroll.

By the next day the situation was desperate.In two hours the taxi cab would arr^ive inwhich I was to collect Person A from hospital. Istill did not know how to cancel the taxi whichwas to deposit Person B outside my front doorat around eight o'clock that night.

Then it occurred to me that as a temporarysecretary Person B must be known to mypaper's personnel department.

The personnel manager told me that thedeputy was in charge of hiring temporarysecretaries. With great helpfulness, he gave methe phone number of the deputy's cottage inOxfordshire.

To the deputy personnel manager I told adramatic tale of a temporary secretary takinghome documents necessary for a front pagestory in the following day's paper.

'She must have been supplied to us by oneof three agencies, ' the deputy personnelmanager said. 'I'll give you their numbers soyou can ring them, but they may not be openon a Saturday .,.'

My heart in my mouth, I dialled the firsttemp agency on the list. They did work onSaturday and they were the agency which hadsupplied Person B! They said they were sorrybut couldn' t give me her home telephonenumber but they would try to call her and askher to r ing me back. She rang 10 minutesbefore the taxi arrived to take me to hospital tocollect Person A, I said we'd have to cancel ourweekend because the paper was sending meabroad on a foreign assignment.

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To my relief I was now on one side ofthe front door and he was on the other. Ilocked the door, hopped into thekitchen and consumed a big glass ofbrandy topped up with some cookingsherry. The effect was instant and I feltcapable of attempting to crawl up twoflights of stairs to bed.

As I c rossed the ha l l I saw myhusband peering through the letter flap.'You're an awful actress,' he said.

Four hours later, I woke up in agony.I knew I needed medical help.

I managed to get down the stairs onmy bottom and call a taxi which tookme to hospital.

Six in the morning is a good time tohave an accident as it turns out, becausecasualty is as quiet as a grave.

'How did you do it?' the doctor askedand I shamefacedly admitted I'd kickedmy husband.

A week later I limped to a party andto my surprise there was a girl sitting atthe other end of the room, also with herfoot in plaster.

She had been visiting a friend of herex-boyfriend who had consideratelyshown her a photograph of his newgirlfriend. In her haste to get the pictureunder a brighter light and examine herrival the poor girl tripped and broke hertoe.

So next time you see a woman with alimp you'll know a man was the cause.

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i i:;A cartoonist describes howshe 'broke her foot on herhushand's shin'.

My husband does not have manypleasant characteristics and on the nightI kicked him he had none at all that Icould see. I kicked him hard on the shin,an indication of my displeasure with hispresence in the house. At the instant mybare foot made contact with the shin, Iknew i t had been A Bad Idea. Icrumpled to the floor in pain and selfpity, all my energy apparently havingleft me until I heard my husband say'Stop pretending you've hurt your foot'.

All through eight years of marriagemy husband has treated my problemsas if I had invented them purely to ruinhis social l i fe. An i l lustrat ion of hisattitude is the occasion when we weresi t t ing in a taxi on our way to theairport. I told him I felt sick and he onlygot halfway through saying 'I'm sureyou're imagining it' when I threw up.So his react ion this t ime was nosurprise.

I was unfortunately unable to kickhim again so I hopped into the sitting-room and picked up a rather nicerosewood foot stool which I waved athim. I suppose the sight of a hoppingwife waving a rosewood foot stooldangerously close to your head is just alittle too much for anvbodv and he ranout of the house.

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Ato it.

The Crow and the Pitcherpoor crow, who was near to death with thirst, suddenly saw beneathher a water pitcher. Relieved and with great joy she flew swiftly down

However, although the pitcher contained water, its levelwas so low that nomatter how she stooped and strained she was unable to reach it.Thereupon she tried to overturn the pitcher, hoping at least to drink fromits spilled contents; but alas, it was too heavy for her.At length, looking around, she saw some pebbles nearby. Picking them up,one by one, she dropped them into the pitcher. Slowly, by degrees, thewater crept up to the very brim and she was at last able to quench herthirst.

It is easier to make a suggestion than to carry it out.

The Mice Meetingnce upon a time a number of mice called a meeting to decide uponthe best means of ridding themselves of a cat that had killed many of

their relations.Various plans were discussed and rejected, until at last a young mouseproposed that a bellshould be hung round the tyrant's neck in future, sothat they would have plenty of warning of her movements and thereforetime to escape.The suggestion was receivedjoyfully by nearly all, but an old mouse, whohad sat silently listening to the talk for some time, got up and said: 'While Iconsider the plan to be a very clever one, and feel sure that it would proveto be quite successful if carried out, I should like to know which bravemouse is going to put a bell on the cat?'

Necessity is the mother of inuention.

Reading Gameg @ Jill Hadfield and Charles Hadfield 1995

The Ass and the Frogsne day, a long time ago, a poor humble ass was making his way alonga track with a load of wood upon his back. Suddenly, rounding a

bend in the path, he came to a deep bog and, stumbling clumsily under hisload, he slipped straight into it. Despite his frantic struggling, the ass hadthe bad luck to sink right up to his neck in the mud amidst a horde ofleaping frogs.'Woe is me!' he groaned and began to bray piteously; then he gave a longsigh as if his heart was about to break in two. The frogs leapt and splashedall round him as he settled deeper into the mire.'Friend,' said one of the frogs to the unhappy ass, 'if you make such a fussm this simply because you find yourself in a bog, what would you do if youlived here allthe time. as we do?'

False confidence often leads to disaster.

The Ass, the Cock and the Lionne day a great lion, feeling very hungry after many hours of fruitlesshunting, decided to try and find a meal at a farm. He padded over

towards the yard and there, as he expected, was a fine plump ass, foolishlymunching and crunching at a briar.The lion thought the ass would make an admirable meal, but perched on anearby stile was a rangy old cock, and they say that there is nothing a lionhates so much as the crowing of a cock. The lion paused, then he took astep towards the ass, but at that moment the cock began to crow. Theoffended lion turned about and bounded off with allpossible haste until hecould no longer hear the awful noise.The ass had idly watched these events and was highly amused at thethought of a lion being frightened by a cock, so he plucked up his courageand galloped after him, delighted to think that he, a mere ass, was chasingthe king of the jungle.However, the ass had not followed for long when the lion turned sharplyround upon him. The unfortunate ass never had time to think about hiserror, and the lion was no longer hungry.

Custom makes things familiar and easy to us,

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The Dove and the Ant

f hrouSh the forest ran a clear bubbling steam and under a blade ofI grass on the bank sat an ant. She felt very thirsty and bent over to take

a drink, but as she did so she slipped and fellinto the water.The strong current snatched her away, carrying her far off down the steam.As hard as she tried she could not manage to swim to the bank.At that moment a dove flew by and, seeing the struggling ant, took pity onher distress. She broke a branch from a nearby tree and dropped it into thewater. The ant did not delay but clambered nimbly on to the branch and atlast reached the safety of the bank.Not long after this, the ant was out for a strollwhen she came upon thedove again. A hunter was just about to trap the bird with a large net. Seeingwhat was going to happen, the ant bit sharply into the man's heel andmade him cry out in surprise.The dove heard him, took fright and flew away.

Misfortune tests the sincerity of friends.

The Travellers and the Bear'Tt*o friends were travelling on the same road together when suddenlyI they came face to face with a large bear.

In great fear, and without a thought about his companion, one manimmediately climbed into a tree and hid.The other, seeing that single-handed he was no match for Bruin the bear,threw himself on the ground and pretended to be dead, for he had heardthat a bear will not touch a dead body.The bear approached him, sniffing at his nose and ears, but the man, withgreat courage, held his breath and kept still, and at length the bear,thinking him dead, walked slowly away.When Bruin was well out of sight the first traveller came down from his treeand asked his companion what it was that the bear had said to him. 'For,'

said he 'l observed from my perch that he put his mouth very close to yourear.''Why,' replied the other, 'it was no great secret. He wisely advised me not tokeep company with those who, when they get into difficulty, leave theirfriends in the lurch.'

One good turn deserues another.

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The Tortoise and the Eaglelong while ago a tortoise sat on the dusty land and watched the birds

wheeling and circling in the air over his head. He grew dissatisfied with his

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lowly life when he saw so many of them enjoying themselves in the clear blue sky;

he longed to join them and share their freedom.'lf only-l could get myself up into the air I'm sure I could soar and swoop with the

best of them,' he thought.He pondered on this problem for a long time: the sun burned down and he got

hotter and hotter and more discontented as he enviously watched the birds'

Suddenly an eagle came to rest on a rock close beside him and, seizing such a

favourable opportunity, the tortois e offered all the treasures of the sea if only the

monarch of the air would teach him to fly.The eagle at first declined the task, for he considered it not only absurd but

impossible, but, being further pressed by the entreaties and promises of the

tortoise, he finally agreed to trY.Taking him up to a great height in the air, the eagle loosed his hold, bidding the

stupid tortoise to fly if he could.Beiorethe misguided creature could express a word of thanks he fell upon a huge

rock and was dashed to Pieces.

Don't count your chickens before they're hatched.

The Country Maid;l long a country lane stepped a bright young milkmaid, balancing a jug of fine

Afr"rn mik on her head. With a fair way still to go to reach the market she

started thinking about her future prospects.'lf I sell this milk for a tidy price I can increase my stock of eggs to three hundred'

Then, even allowing for iiror" that spoil and those that are stolen by thieves, they

should produce at least two hundred and fifty chickens. Then again, just when the

price is highest, I willtake the birds to market and sellthem: I cannot failto make

enough money to buy a new gown. I am so fair and pretty I will look as grand as

any lady in the land.''Wiat colour should it be?' she thought. 'Shall I buy one in red or green? Yes,

green,l think - it suits me best; green it will be! I'll go to the fair where allthe fine

loung men will seek me out for - partner; but I shall refuse them, every one' and

dance away with a shrug and a toss.'Carried away by her daydream she could not help but toss her head in just such a

way as she had imagined. Crash! The jug of milk toppled and smashed on to the

,oud in front of her. She watched helplessly as the spilt milk trickled away in the

dust, and with it went all of her huppy thoughts and dreams'

The ouer-ambitious often destroy themselues'

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The Miser's GoldI very mean man once sold allhis goods and property and melted the

filmoney he received for it into one solid mass of gold. He took the goldto a wood, where he buried it in the ground. He visited his hoard night andmorning to gloat over it.One night a robber spied on him and when the miser had gone the villaindug up the treasure and went off with it.Next day the miser missed it and went nearly out of his mind at the loss ofhis gold. 'Why are you making such a noise?' said a neighbour. 'You mightas well have a stone in the ground instead of your gold, for it was no use toyou when you had it.'

Think for yourselt', and don't t'ollow the uowd.

The Sick Lionn old, old lion realised one day that, thanks to the weakness of age, he was tootired to hunt for his prey any more. Sadly he went home to his den knowing that

soon he would die. But before he lay down he stopped at the entrance; breathing withgreat difficulty and speaking in a slow, low voice he told the world of his sad condition.The news of the lion's illness soon spread throughout the forest and caused muchconcern among the other beasts. One by one they came to visit him and pay theirrespects. However, the lion's age had also made him wily, and as each animalenteredhis lair and came within reach, they fell an easy prey to the lion, who soon grew fat.One day, early in the morning, the fox came. He was renowned for his cunning, andapproached the den carefully. Standing some distance away he enquired after thelion's health and asked him if he was feeling better.Ah, my dearest friend,' said the lion, 'is it you? I can hardly see you, you are so faraway. Come closer, please, and give me some words of consolation for I have not longto live.'The fox, meanwhile, had been looking closely at the ground in front of the lion's den.At last he looked up, and turning to go he remarked: 'Bless you, but excuse me if I donot stay, for, to tellthe truth, I feel quite uneasy at the many footsteps I see leading intoyour den yet none do I see emerging.'


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KAREN

You have a brother Gary and your parents' namesare Jean and Hugh. You know your mother'smaiden name was Clutterbuck and you think yourgrandmother's name was Maud - she's dead now.Your mother doesn't talk about her much and shenever talks about your grandfather. You don'tknow anyone else in your family and wonder whyyou've never met.

GARY

You have a sister Karen and parents Jean

and Hugh. You know your mother's maidenname was Clutterbuck and you think your

grandmother's name was Maud - she's deadnow. Your mother doesn't talk about her

much and she never talks about your

grandfather. You don't know anyone else inyour family and wonder why you've nevermet.

LUCY

You have a brother, Alex . Your parents are Veraand Philip. That's all you know about your familythough you think your mother's father was calledSamuel.

You have a sister Lucy .Your parents are Vera

and Philip. That's all you know about your

family though you think your mother's father

was called Samuel.

TRACEY

You have a brother Jason. Your parents are Mikeand Jane.Your grandparents are dead now, butyou remember your father's father, Joseph, an oldman with grey whiskers that tickled when he kissedyou.

JASON

You have one sister Tracey. Your parents areMike and Jane.

Your grandparents are dead now, but you

remember your father's father, Joseph, an

old man with grey whiskers that tickled

when he kissed you.

Reading Games, @ Jill Hadf ield and Charles Hadfield 1995

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ToJEANALICE, n

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I:.y son SAMLIEL,I leave the Soap Dish amouth of the foul narnes he has called his Or.fl:*O"lic

Soap to wash his

To *y lornger son .Ioshould bethinl< ,"-*,rt:ll'

I leave. the old blackened cookpor. that he'rhepor shourd ".;;JftH"Tffii,il1t lLis brother, "rth";rd q"d""To HENRY my husbancl I teo,, .r_ :rrust the income ,ro.r, of ,,,leave

rhe invesrmenr

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""0 barrj< accounts in

mennonedrEANrALrc;ti-"th";;#J*"fffff illli".ITfi:H:

Signed

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DatedBDecemtrer ,L9+9

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O cutting from the penn ine Bugledated Tuesday G september, 194G

Pennine Tuesday, 6, 1946

PENNINE SHEEP SCANDAL;tOCAt MAN DETAINED FORQUESTIONING.UNDERCOVER LINKS WITH COUNTY RBGIMENT

'We haue uncouered a den ofcorruption and organized crime'say Police

Scardale 5 September, 7946

POLICE revealed yesterday that theyhave uncove red one o f t he mos timportant sheeprustling networks inNorthern England. Several arrestswere made last week in the Scardaleand Glumthorpe area? and three ofthose detained are now helping policewith enquiries. Chief SuperintendentToyson i ssued a b r i e f s ta temen t ,stating that charges would be madetoday against three of the men, andthat the persistence and hard work ofLancashire Constabulary over thepast decade had led to the discoveryo f an ag r i cu l t u ra l c r ime ne tworkunprecedented in the history of thePennines.Our own investigatiorr, ,"rr""1 that aloca l f a rmer Hen ry C lu t t e rbuck ,

prominent among stockbreeders andmarket traders at Settle market andowning three hundied acres of fellsidebetween Glumthorpe and Beckdale onthe eas t s i de o f t he ma inSettle-Blackhole road, is among thosecurrently detained at Glumby policestation. It is alleged that over the pastdecade, tak ing advantage of meatrationing and increased demand forfresh meat, the farmer organized awidespread b lack market in meat ,w i t h t he i nvo l vemen t o f ma jo rslaughter houses on both sides of thePennines. It is further alleged that theman's accomplice, a former sergeantmajor in the Pennine Borderers, $asinvolved in undercover deals betweenthe M in i s t r y o f Ag r i cu l t u re andFisheries and the Ministry of Supply,revolv ing round the barracks atCarslisle.Charges wil l be brought at Glumbymagistrates court on Thursday...


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Readinq Gamel @ Ji l l Hadf ie ld and Char les Hadf ie ld 1995

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Reading Games 1-17

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Transcript of Reading Games 1-17