quotes: jThe road to truth is long, and lined the entire way with annoying bastards.

-Alexander Jablokov

There is no greater prude than a reformed prostitute.

-Tony Jackson

But, as Big Brother said: "Ignorance is Truth."

-Mary Jacoby

This illustrates a problem in creative conceptualization that I think is very Japanese, and possibly results from an educational system that places an emphasis on the assimilation of facts and deference to authority, rather than the American model which encourages drug and alcohol abuse and rutting like dogs.

-Jade

I'll concede that some e-mail massages are pretty useless. But what if Uma Thurman wants you to come to her house for midnight drinks and just happens to start the message with "thought you'd be interested"?

-Geoffrey James

Only a fool expects rational behavior from his fellow humans.

-Geoffrey James

The principal difference between a toy and a game is that the latter has some clearly defined goal or purpose; therefore life is not a game, but a toy.

-Rahner James

a great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.

-William James

Psycho how? Psycho interesting or psycho hide the knives?

-Jennifer Jantos

The weather here is more interesting than the people.

-Jennifer Jantos

I was thinking of her in terms of a toy, like a firetruck. When the firetruck breaks, you cry a bit then forget about it and play with the police cruiser.

-John Jantos

i'm probably not going to die anytime soon. too much paperwork.

-John Jantos

If I have to work for a large company, i'll go postal. Actually, it will be called "going corporate" when i do it, thank you very much. And you know where you can shove your fast food chain...

-John Jantos

if it helps, treat this as the ramblings of a raging cynic.

-John Jantos

It's never too late to be obnoxious.

-John Jantos

Your ego's reaching critical mass.

-John Jantos

your mind is driving down the road, and everything is fine, until you realize you haven't been paying attention for the last few miles, and you must have taken a wrong turn because the bridge ahead is out, and you're 20 feet away from a long drop, and you slam on your brakes and a sharp pain grasps your neck, and you decide not to do anything even remotely strenuous for a while so you can backtrack and find the fork you should have taken back a few miles. so that's academic whiplash.

-John Jantos

This bag will self-destruct in mother earth.

-from a Japanese grocery bag

You would not have liked Nietzsche, sir. He is fundamentally unsound.

-Jeeves, "Jeeves Takes Charge"

I hold that a little rebellion is a good thing.

-Thomas Jefferson

In every country and in every age, the priest has been hostile to liberty. He is always in alliance with the despot, abetting his abuses in return for protection to his own. It is easier to acquire wealth and power by this combination than by deserving them, and to effect this, they have perverted the purest religion ever preached to man into mystery and jargon, unintelligible to all mankind, and therefore the safer engine for their purposes.

-Thomas Jefferson

In every country where man is free to think and to speak, differences of opinion will arise from difference of perception, and the imperfection of reason; but these differences when permitted, as in this happy country, to purify themselves by free discussion, are but as passing clouds overspreading our land transiently and leaving our horizon more bright and serene.

-Thomas Jefferson

Is uniformity attainable? Millions of innocent men, women and children, since the introduction of Christianity, have been burnt, tortured, fined, imprisoned; yet we have not advanced an inch towards uniformity. What has been the effect of coercion? To make one half the world fools, and the other half hypocrites. To support roguery and error all over the earth.

-Thomas Jefferson

It does me no injury for my neighbor to say there are twenty gods or no God. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.

-Thomas Jefferson

Money, not morality, is the principle commerce of civilized nations.

-Thomas Jefferson

No [free] man shall ever be debarred the use of arms. The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government.

-Thomas Jefferson

Question with boldness even the existence of a God, because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason than that of blindfolded fear.

-Thomas Jefferson

...the successful experiment made under the prevalence of that delusion on the clause of the constitution, which, while it secured the freedom of the press, covered also the freedom of religion, had given to the clergy a very favorite hope of obtaining an establishment of a particular form of Christianity thro' the U.S.; and as every sect believes its own form the true one, every one perhaps hoped for his own, but especially the Episcopalians & Congregationalists. The returning good sense of our country threatens abortion to their hopes, & they believe that any portion of power confided to me, will be exerted in opposition to their schemes. And they believe rightly; for I have sworn upon the altar of god, eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man.

-Thomas Jefferson

Were it left for me to decide whether we should have a government without newspapers, or newspapers without a government, I should not hesitate amoment to prefer the latter.

-Thomas Jefferson

what country can preserve it's liberties if their rulers are not warned from time to time that their people preserve the spirit of resistance? Let them take arms. The remedy is to set them right as to facts, pardon & pacify them. What signify a few lives lost in a century or two? The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants.

-Thomas Jefferson

They all laughed at Albert Einstein. They all laughed at Columbus. Unfortunately, they also all laughed at Bozo the Clown.

-William Jeffereys

If I see one more JFK movie, I will dig him up and kill him again.

-jeffy@mit.edu

It is always the best policy to speak the truth--unless, of course, you are an exceptionally good liar.

-Jerome K. Jerome

Creativity is just connecting things. When you ask creative people how they did something, they feel a little guilty because they didn't really do it, they just saw something. It seemed obvious to them after a while. That's because they were able to connect experiences they've had and synthesize new things.

-Steve Jobs

If you look at the artists, if they get really good, it always occurs to them at some point that they can do this one thing for the rest of their lives, and they can be really successful to the outside world but not really be successful to themselves. That's the moment that an artist really decides who he or she is. If they keep on risking failure, they're still artists.

-Steve Jobs

Nobody's tried to swallow us since I've been here--I think they're afraid of how we'd taste.

-Steve Jobs

So we went to Atari and said, 'Hey, we've got this amazing thing, even built with some of your parts, and what do you think about funding us? Or we'll give it to you. We just want to do it. Pay our salary, we'll come work for you.' And they said, 'No.' So then we went to Hewlett-Packard, and they said, 'Hey, we don't need you. You haven't got through college yet.'

-Steve Jobs

When you're young, you look at television and think, There's a conspiracy. The networks have conspired to dumb us down. But when you get a little older, you realize that's not true. The networks are in business to give people exactly what they want. That's a far more depressing thought. Conspiracy is optimistic! You can shoot the bastards! We can have a revolution! But the networks are really in business to give people what they want. It's the truth.

-Steve Jobs

People must not attempt to impose their own 'truth' on others. The right to profess the truth must always be upheld, but not in a way that involves contempt for those who may think differently.

-John Paul II

Women are soft, and fun to touch, but that does not stop them from being incarnations of pure evil.

-Bradford Johnson

One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts.

-Samuel Johnson

Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel.

-Samuel Johnson

I don't want to kill it for the kids, but we got to go out there and snatch it. We got to go out there, put on masks and go rob.

-Tre Johnson

It's not a beauty contest. Ain't no bikini on that puppy. A win is a win.

-Tre Johnson

We're a funded Linux company now, and we'll be able to do some things that we couldn't do before, like buy beer.

-TurboLinux marketing VP Lonn Johnston

I'm not bitter, I'm evil.

-Andrea Jones

People who love to drink out of straws are not old enough to drink alcohol. For those people, Miss Manners believes it's quite enough excitement for them to drive their parents crazy by blowing bubbles in their milk.

-Gray Jones

Women schwomen. You need to interact with your computer a little more deeply.

-Gray Jones

When those PETA goofballs start trying to toss red paint on bikers wearing leather jackets, things will really get interesting (and I hope someone's there with a camera).

-James Jones

None other than a Gentleman, as well as a seaman, both in theory and practice is qualified to support the character of a Commissioned Officer in the Navy, nor is any man fit to command a Ship of War who is not also capable of communicating his Ideas on Paper in Language that becomes his Rank.

-John Paul Jones

the Credit of the Service depends not only on dealing fairly with the men Employed in it, but on their belief that they are and will be fairly dealt with.

-John Paul Jones

to be well obeyed it is necessary to be esteemed

-John Paul Jones

Cinnamint (with Myrrh) is most excellent and I absolutely recommend it. Then again, I have also been known to absolutely recommend assassinations. But only one per person.

-Kriste Jordan

I know you are super busy, though, so if you cannot respond, I will remain your friend, but I will be forced to poison you with Sweet Tart concentrate.

-Kriste Jordan

putting the mental in sentimental... one drama at a time.

-Kriste Jordan

It is better to debate a question without settling it, than to settle a question without debating it.

-Joseph Joubert

Most programmers are bad programmers. The honest truth is that having a lot of programmers staring at the code does not find the really nasty bugs. The really nasty bugs are found by a couple of really smart programmers. Most programmers looking at the code won't see anything ... You can't have thousands of programmers contributing and achieve a high standard.

-Bill Joy

Sometimes when you fill a vacuum, it still sucks.

-Bill Joy

Either your head will explode or you would be nice and serene or your head would explode AND you would be nice and serene.

-Bethany Jozwiak

Debating the merits of one platform with the acolyte of another platform is like trying to make love to a cat... It doesn't do anything for you, and it pisses the cat off...

-jrg@punch.aero.org

All great powers are arrogant -- it just so happens that America is the only one around.

-Tony Judt