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Proverbs for Living

Lesson 1Becoming Wise ................................................................3Proverbs 1:1-7; 3:1-10

Lesson 2Wise Wealth ....................................................................8Proverbs 10:1-15

Lesson 3Wise Talk ......................................................................13Proverbs 18:21; 16:23-30

Lesson 4Wise Character ..............................................................18Proverbs 31: 10-31

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Prepare Before the SessionRead the session for today in the Study Guide. Then read the options in this Teaching

Guide, placing checkmarks beside the activities you plan to include. After you have decidedwhich options to use, gather the appropriate materials.

WHAT’S IN YOUR TEACHING GUIDE

This Teaching Guide has three purposes:➤ to give the teacher tools for focusing on the content of the session in the Study Guide.➤ to give the teacher additional Bible background information.➤ to give the teacher variety and choice in preparation.

The Teaching Guide includes two major components: Teacher Helps and Teacher Options.

Teacher Helps

Teacher Options

Find Relevance helps you zero in on why each

session is important for the

adults you teach.

Seek Understandingpresents helful Bible Background

informations and insights that will help

you better understand the Scripture.

Teaching Outlineprovides you with an outline

of the main themes in the

Study Guide.

My Teaching Plan is a

convenient place for you to

make notes for teaching the

session.

Offer Illustrations presents material that will help you paint

a picture of the session. This section often presents items from

church history, current events, or interesting anecdotes that

help introduce the session.

Discussion provides teaching activitiees that will help learners

discuss the Scripture text.

Questions presents multiple collections of questions for

various kinds of adults.

Involve Learners helps learners become actively involved

with the Scripture text for a particular session.

Closure gives you a means for wrapping up the session.

You Can Choose!There is more material in each session than you can use, so choose the options from each section

to tailor the session to the needs of your group.

Find RelevanceWhy do adults care about thissession? “The feel-good movie

of the year.” That’s the line givenby promoters to the many films

that are supposed to lift your spirits.There’s the one about a habitual liar forcedto tell the truth, who in the process learnsthe value of being truthful. There’s the oneabout the successful but unscrupulousexecutive who learns relationships aremore important than material success.These movies can make you laugh and, forthose of you who are weepers, reach for thetissue box. Besides being a fun distraction,movies like these can help us think abouthow to live better, smarter, and withgreater joy. An old axiom of adult educa-tion says, “Adults vote with their feet.” Ifthis is true, then there must be a hungerfor stories that point to the elusive “goodlife.”

The Bible has much to say about thegood life. Jesus spoke of it as abundantlife. Paul wrote of the grace of God makinga new creation of each of us. The OldTestament tells of God’s chosen people, thedescendents of Abraham, the new nation.In Proverbs, we find concise and practicalinstructions about daily living that makethe good life much less elusive. Actually, itbecomes quite clear how to live the goodlife. In Proverbs, the path isn’t difficult tofind, but it does take much discipline towalk it.

Seek UnderstandingWhat do these Scripturesmean? Proverbs is a collection

of practical advice aimed athelping the young know how to

live a life full of righteousness, integrity,and discipline. While it is likely a collec-tion from a variety of sources, it isattributed to Solomon in the early verses,probably a means of validating its signifi-cance and trustworthiness.

The text of Proverbs seems to jumpfrom topic to topic without much regardfor organization or themes. However, animportant assumption lies behind thebook and isn’t pointed out explicitly. Theentire book is based on the premise thatGod is the Lord of the believer’s life.Proverbs speaks of this as “fearing theLORD.” Fearing the Lord can make usthink of living in constant dread of God’sharshness. While not dismissing the judg-ment of God, Proverbs uses “fearing theLORD” to lift up the notion that faithfulbelievers subject themselves to theauthority and lordship of God. Hearingthis can be difficult, for we often equateauthority with oppression or misusedpower. The message of Proverbs is thatliving under the authority of God is liber-ating, not oppressive. With God as ourLord, we are free to live justly and enjoythe good life.

1Lesson Teaching Guide

BECOMING

WISEProverbs 1:1-7; 3:1-10

ResourcesBill Bellinger, The Testimony of Poets and Sages, All theBible (Macon GA: Smyth & Helwys Publishing,Inc., 1998).

James L. Crenshaw, “Wisdom in the OldTestament,” Mercer Dictionary of the Bible, ed.Watson E. Mills et al. (Macon GA: MercerUniversity Press, 1990), 961.

David Penchansky, “Proverbs,” Mercer Commentaryon the Bible, ed. Watson E. Mills et al. (Macon GA:Mercer University Press, 1995), 530.

C. Douglas Weaver, “Pioneer in Pastoral Care,”From Our Christian Heritage: Hundreds of Ways to AddChristian History to Teaching, Preaching, and Writing(Macon GA: Smyth & Helwys Publishing, Inc.,1997), 338.

Jack Weir, “Fool/Foolishness/Folly” MercerDictionary of the Bible, ed. Watson E. Mills et al.(Macon GA: Mercer University Press, 1990), 305.

My Teaching Plan

Introduction: The pursuit for a life ofcontentment, peace, and blessing isageless. God desires these things for us asbelievers, but God’s way to the good lifeoften contradicts what culture prescribes.

I. Brief Background on Proverbs A. Proverbs is a collection of practical

guidelines for living, presented in aneasy-to-learn format.

B. It is likely that several peoplecontributed to Proverbs, although thewords are attributed to Solomon. Thecontributors were part of what isknown as the Wisdom School.

C. The purpose of Proverbs is to instructthe young in the faith and wise living.

II. Wisdom and FollyA. “Wisdom,” which appears frequently

in Proverbs, means more than gooddecision-making; it is what makes lifegood.

B. “Folly/Fools” appears frequently inProverbs.

1. “Fools” hate and refuse to pursuewisdom.

2. “Folly” is a label for the vanity inpursuing a good life without follow-ing the wise teachings.

III. Fearing the Lord (1:7)A. Fearing the Lord is the key to finding

wisdom (v. 7).1. The use of fear in verse 7 is unlike

our contemporary use of the term.2. “Fearing” in Proverbs is a recognition

that we live under God’s authority.3. “Lordship” is an important concept

in Proverbs. B. Fearing the Lord could seem offensive

as a foundation for relationship.1. It is important to understand “fear”

as used in Proverbs.2. Submitting to God has never been

popular.IV. If we pursue wisdom, we will find favor

with God and others and experiencecontentment (3:1-10).

4 Lesson 1

Offer IllustrationsHow can I help learners think about the issues?

❍ Is He Wise?Begin the session by forming classmembers into two groups. Share thefollowing with the groups: Wayne Oateswas a prominent teacher and minister,specializing in pastoral care. He heldteaching positions at The SouthernBaptist Theological Seminary and theUniversity of Louisville School ofMedicine, where he taught in the depart-ment of psychiatry. In 1935, Dr. Oates wasa commuting student pastor, and he andhis wife would stay in the home of achurch member on Saturday evenings. Atabout 8:30 one evening, the host asked Dr.and Mrs. Oates if they were healthy. Theyresponded that they were. “Good,”responded the host. “Then I am going togo to bed. It is my bedtime, and I don’tstay up for anyone unless they are sick.Help yourself to anything in the housethat you need. If you need something, I’llbe glad to get up and help you look for it.If we don’t have it, I’ll teach you how toget along without it” (Weaver, 338).

Questions➤ Was the host wise or simply selfishly

unaccommodating?➤ Is wisdom popular? ➤ To whom do you go when you want to

get the perspective of a wise person?➤ By what standards do you consider

someone wise?

❍ Take Your PickIt is not the rich man you shouldproperly call happy, but him whoknows how to use with wisdom andthe blessings of the gods, to endurehard poverty, and who fears dishonorworse than death, and is not afraid todie for cherished friends or father-land. Horace, Odes (65–8 BC)

The older I grow the more I distrustthe familiar doctrine that age bringswisdom. H. L. Mencken (1880–1956)

Read the quotations above. Ask forparticipants to choose one of the quota-tions and answer these questions:

• Do you agree with the quotation?• Do you think its author was wise? Why?• What is a practical result of believing in

the validity of this statement? • Pretend someone asks you for a wise

saying for use in a collection to bepublished 100 years from now. Whatwould be your wise quotation?

❍ Wisdom Hall of FameDistribute a small piece of paper to eachparticipant. Suggest: We all have personsin our lives that we consider wise. It mightbe a grandparent, a teacher, or a friendwho always seems to have the right idea.Think of a person whom you considerwise. How might you nominate thatperson into the Wisdom Hall of Fame?Briefly write your letter of nomination.

After a few moments, call on severalparticipants to share their letters of nomi-nation. Then ask the following questions.

Questions➤ Were any qualities consistent among all

the nominees? What were they?➤ How do you think your nominee devel-

oped that quality?➤ How has your life been changed for

knowing this person you consider wise?

Teaching Guide 5

DiscussionHow do I lead learners to dialogue about the session?

❍ Do You Have a Lord?Tell your group that Proverbs begins bysaying that the “fear of the LORD is thebeginning of wisdom” (1:7). The sessionwriter suggests that “fear” is best under-stood as a statement about the order ofthings and not about an abiding fear ofGod’s retribution. Assuming this, what isthe best way to understand the question“Do you fear the Lord?”

Write “What it doesn’t mean to fear theLord” on a chalkboard. Record summariesof participants’ responses. After severalresponses, continue by writing “What itdoes mean to fear the Lord” on a chalk-board. Again, record summaries ofparticipants’ responses.

Next say something like: Proverbs isfull of easy-to-understand but difficult-to-live-out teachings. According to the wiseteachers of Proverbs, fearing the Lord orhonoring God’s lordship is the key to allwisdom and happiness. The choice tofollow Christ as Lord of your life isdemanding. What can you recall Jesustelling his followers about the conse-quences of being one of his disciples?Allow several responses, recordingsummaries on the chalkboard.

Next, ask, “What might Jesus say to usabout the consequences of being one ofhis disciples in 2002?” Allow severalresponses.

QuestionsQuestions about Scripture➤ How can Proverbs be of practical help

for living today?➤ How can the phrase “fearing the Lord”

be misunderstood?➤ How are the teachings of Proverbs

different from proverbs from other reli-gions or cultures?

➤ What is your favorite proverb?

Questions for All Adults➤ Who is the wisest person you know?➤ How has that wisdom affected his or

her life?➤ What about following the wisdom from

Proverbs may not be popular in 2002?

Questions for Mature Adults➤ Does wisdom automatically come with

age?➤ How do you know when someone is

wise?➤ Can one live a moral life, yet not be

wise?

Questions for Younger Adults➤ Does wisdom come with age?➤ Are you wiser now than you were ten

years ago? Why or why not?➤ From whom do you seek advice? Why

do you value their perspective?➤ Why might the notion of “fearing the

Lord” be unpopular or misunderstood?How might you explain it to someonein a manner that could help thembetter understand?

Questions for Adults with Children➤ In what ways can children be wise?➤ How has being a parent helped you

understand God’s love more fully?➤ What is the difference between passing

along wisdom and hoping your chil-dren think like you do?

➤ With what wise person would you likeyour children to spend time? Why?

6 Lesson 1

Involve LearnersHow can I lead learners to explore the session together?

❍ About Last WeekDistribute copies of the Resource Kit page“About Last Week.” Give participants thefollowing instructions:

(1) Under each day, summarize what youremember doing from that day,regardless of how major or minor.

(2) Read Proverbs 3:1-10 and underlinethe terms that describe the positiveconsequences of living wisely as abeliever, honoring the lordship ofGod.

(3) Draw a line from the words you under-lined in the Scripture to a dailyactivity where you either pursued orexperienced that benefit. For example,Proverbs 3:10 includes this: “Yourbarns will be filled with plenty.” Drawa line to an event of the past weekwhere you experienced/enjoyed thegift of God’s provisions. Feel free toadd new activities to last week as youthink of them.

After learners have had severalminutes to work on their “About LastWeek” grid, ask for volunteers to sharetheir grids with the rest of the group.

Questions➤ Were you surprised by anything in this

activity?➤ Can you point to any activity that

would fit under the category of “pursu-ing wisdom and truth”? Would you bewilling to share that?

➤ When in the last week did you miss anopportunity to enjoy God’s goodness?

ClosureHow do I lead learners to respond?

❍ This Week I Will…Close the session by asking participants toconsider in the next week how they mightpursue more fully God’s wisdom andenjoy more fully God’s goodness. Pass outnote cards and ask everyone to write threethings they will do in the coming week topursue wisdom. Ask them to pray,committing themselves to these items.After moments of silent prayer, voice aclosing prayer for the class and dismiss.

Teaching Guide 7

2Find Relevance

Why do adults care about thissession? All adults want to

live a meaningful life. Thedesire for meaning and the discov-

ery of meaning, however, are two verydifferent things. The problem is that amultitude of answers are available for thequestion How does one live a meaningful life?

In our culture, personal wealth andgain have been the most popularly chosenpaths to gratification, meaning, andpurpose. The pioneering spirit behind theAmerican dream has been replaced withthe entrepreneurial spirit. Shopping hasevolved from an efficient means of acquir-ing needed goods to a common form ofrecreation. Opryland U.S.A., the formermusic-oriented theme park in Nashville,is closed. On that site, where once werefound roller coasters and outdoor stages,now stands a shopping complex designedas a recreational venue, Opry Mills.

The prevailing thought of our cultureis that the pursuit of wealth is very nearthe center of the good life.Proverbsteaches that the pursuit of wealth does notoffer peace, pleasure, and wisdom. Whatone does with that wealth makes thedifference. Christians today are concernedthat they, too, find a life of meaning.However, the largest challenge for today’sbeliever is recognizing the differencebetween wealth and extravagance.

Seek UnderstandingWhat do these Scripturesmean? As we learned last

week, Proverbs is a collection ofpractical and easy-to-learn guide-

lines on how to find wisdom, the goodlife. Proverbs contains a variety of opin-ions about wealth—how to manage it andprepare for the future. Some generalnotions about wealth consistent throughthe entire book of Proverbs include: (1)there will always be the “haves” and the“have-nots”; (2) the use of one’s wealth isvery important; (3) the wise use of wealthis charitable, investing in aiding those inneed; and (4) wise wealth involves dili-gence, discipline, dutiful work, saving,and sharing.

Lesson Teaching Guide

WISE

WEALTHProverbs 10;1-15

Teaching Guide 9


David Penchansky, “Proverbs,” Mercer Commentaryon the Bible, ed. Watson E. Mills et al. (Macon GA:Mercer University Press, 1995), 517-49.

Ralph Wood, “A Passion for Lesser Things,”Christian Century (13–20 September 1995), 843;cited in C. Douglas Weaver, “Millard Fuller:Founder of Habitat for Humanity,” From OurChristian Heritage: Hundreds of Ways to Add ChristianHistory to Teaching, Preaching, and Writing (MaconGA: Smyth & Helwys Publishing, Inc., 1997), 302.

My Teaching Plan

Introduction: The pursuit for a life ofcontentment, peace, and blessing isageless. God desires all these things for usas believers. However, God’s way to thegood life often contradicts what our cultureprescribes. Proverbs says much aboutwealth. To live wisely means both workingdiligently and sharing freely.

I. Proverbs on WealthA. Proverbs is evidently written to those

with some wealth to manage.B. There will always be “haves” and

“have-nots.”C. Wealth is addressed in several places

in Proverbs, with the fullest treatmentin 10:1-15.

II. Proverbs 10:1-15; 14:31A. Proverbs 10:2—Wealth won’t last

forever.B. Proverbs 10:3—The wicked won’t get

rich and the righteous will.C. Proverbs 10:4-5—The poor are either

lazy, too busy playing, or too busylooking for “easy money.”

D. Proverbs 10:15—Wealth can providesecurity.

E. Proverbs 14:31—The wealthy aresacredly bound to help care for thepoor.

III. ConclusionsA. How we use our wealth matters.

1. It is a witness to our faith to giveunselfishly.

2. It is important to prepare for thefuture when the bounty won’t be asgreat or our bodies as able.

B. Wealth provides an opportunity tocare for others.

C. Wealth is a perspective. Only when wecompare ourselves to each other mightwe not appear wealthy. By the world’sstandards, we are a wealthy minority.

Offer IllustrationsHow can I help learners think about the issues?

❍ What Is Wealth?Wealth is a difficult topic to discuss inchurch. One, our personal informationabout our income is very personal. Two,the example and teachings of Jesus areuncomfortably clear. The Gospels leavelittle room for theological debate.

Yet another reason for the difficulty ofdiscussing wealth in church is becauseassumptions about the meaning of life arehidden in our assumptions about wealth.In other words, it is in some ways “shorthand” for “what really matters.” For mostof us, our assumptions about wealth arerelated to the setting or situation in whichwe find ourselves.

To explore this idea with your group,prepare the group instructions asdescribed below. Have the class form foursmaller groups. Give to each group one ofthe following group instructions.

(1) Group One: You’re invited to addressa group of college finance majors. Preparea brief outline for a presentation to thisaudience. The presentation is to answerthe question What is wealth?(2) Group Two: You’re invited to addressa group of senior adults who have recentlyrelocated to an assisted-living facility. Youare to deliver a presentation on the topic“What is wealth?” As a group, develop anoutline for your presentation.(3) Group Three: It is your Sunday toassist the extended session for the chil-dren’s ministry at church. This is theprogram for preschoolers while adults arein worship. The Bible story for the day isabout the rich, young ruler. After tellingthe story, a child asks you, “What is rich?”Prepare a list of ideas, or points thatmight be included in a response.(4) Group Four: An active investmentgroup has formed in your community. Tojoin the group, one must have a minimum

of $500,000 for venture capital. Theinvestment group is seeking your counselon how to manage their assets in a waythat benefits others. Prepare an outline ofwhat you might tell them.

Give each group approximately tenminutes to prepare their remarks. Ask arepresentative of each group to share theirassignment and response with the largegroup. When all small groups haveshared, ask questions like the following.

Questions➤ What is wealth? Is wealth sin?➤ What influence does circumstance have

on what one considers wealth to be?➤ Do you consider yourself wealthy?

❍ The Line Is Right HereFor Christians, it seems the most comfort-ing conversations about wealth are thosethat point to personal means just beyondour own. In other words, when discussingwhat the Bible teaches about personalwealth or the example of Jesus concerningpersonal gain, it is easier to think “peoplewealthier than me” are the ones beingharshly judged. The following true storybears this notion.

Millard Fuller took seriously Jesus’teachings. He walked away from a success-ful and lucrative career to form Habitatfor Humanity. Once, while lecturing toministerial students at a seminary,Millard asked this question: Is it possibleto own a home “sinfully large”? The audi-ence easily and confidently answered“yes.” “When?” Fuller responded. Theroom got uncomfortably quiet. Someonefinally softly responded, “When it’s biggerthan mine.” (Wood, 302)

Question➤ Are we reluctant to consider ourselves

wealthy? Why?

10 Lesson 2


❍ Jesus on WealthUse this exercise to help learners explorewealth from Proverbs and the teachings ofJesus.

Using the “Teaching Outline” fromthis session, review what Proverbs has tosay about wealth. Write major themesfrom Proverbs on a chalkboard.

Then, for each of the following Gospeltexts, ask class members to summarizewhat Jesus is saying about wealth. Writeresponses on a chalkboard or newsprint.

• Matthew 6:19-24• Matthew 13:22• Mark 10:23 • Luke 16:13• Luke 18:24

After reading all of the Scriptures, askquestions like the following.

Questions➤ Is Jesus’ message about wealth different

from Proverbs’ teachings on wealth? Ifso, in what way? (Keep in mind thatdifferent doesn’t necessarily meancontradictory. For example, oneresponse could be that Proverbs is morepractical in nature. Jesus’ teachings aremore demanding.)

➤ What makes a person wealthy accord-ing to Proverbs? According to Jesus?

➤ What is the difference between selfishlyhoarding one’s wealth and responsiblysaving for one’s future?

QuestionsQuestions about Scripture➤ Proverbs 10:2 says, “Treasures gained

by wickedness do not profit.” Whatdoes this mean?

➤ Which verses in Proverbs 10:1-15 doyou find troubling? Why?

➤ Did Jesus’ teachings about wealth differfrom the Proverbs? If yes, in what way?

Questions for All Adults➤ Why are folks reluctant to talk about

their personal finances?➤ What is the “joy of giving”?➤ What is the central message from

Proverbs about wealth?

Questions for Mature Adults➤ What do you remember of the

Depression, or what do you recallabout your family members who expe-rienced it?

➤ How did the memory of the Depressionshape your childhood?

➤ Has your understanding about how todefine wealth changed over time? Inwhat ways?

Questions for Younger Adults➤ What is wealth?➤ Is becoming wealthy one of your goals?

How will you know if you haveachieved it?

➤ What proverbs do you live by?

Questions for Adults with Children➤ What do you want your children to

learn about wealth?➤ How are you teaching that?➤ Beyond money, what does wealth

involve?

Teaching Guide 11

12 Lesson 2


❍ Picture ThisBefore this session, collect popular maga-zines that include subjects like thefollowing: news, entertainment/celebritynews, hobbyists/special interests, lifestyle,etc. Try to find enough magazines foreach participant to have one. If you can’tfind enough magazines, newspapers willwork as well.

After reading Proverbs 10:1-15 anddiscussing its meaning, distribute a maga-zine to each participant. Ask them to lookthrough their magazine and to find andtear out six pictures, ads, or articles thathave to do with wealth—either how toobtain it, what to do with it, etc. On eachpicture or article, write its main messageabout wealth. Allow participants approxi-mately five minutes to find their picturesor articles. Then ask them to share with apartner their pictures/articles and respec-tive messages regarding wealth.

After a few more minutes readMatthew 6:19-24 and ask, “How is ourculture’s prevailing attitude about wealthdifferent from what Jesus taught aboutwealth?” Again, allow the pairs of partici-pants several minutes to reread theScripture and discuss the question.

Questions➤ What is the message of our culture

regarding personal wealth and gain?➤ What is the message of Proverbs

regarding wise use of wealth?➤ What is the message of Jesus regarding

personal wealth?➤ Should wealthy Christians repent?➤ What makes a person wealthy?

❍ Degree of DifficultyAfter reading and discussing Proverbs10:1-15, ask a volunteer to read Matthew6:19-24. Proverbs is concerned that wediscover and live a pleasing, righteouslife—one that honors God as Lord. Thewise teachers of Proverbs knew this was agood but difficult way to live. Jesus cameto give us our clearest picture of God. Healso had something to say about wealthand its wise use. The biblical witnessabout our wise use of money is straight-forward. Unlike some other biblicalsubjects, this one isn’t prone to a varietyof meanings or symbolism. Ask yourgroup to consider these things during thenext activity.

Use the index of titles in the back ofyour church hymnal to find titles of famil-iar hymns. As you read the titles, ask yourclass members if the hymn you name ismore difficult to sing after readingProverbs 10 and Matthew 6. After readingthe title, simply ask, “On a scale of one toten, ten being very simple and one beingvery difficult, rate the degree of difficultyfor this hymn.”

Variation: Have participants form smallgroups and ask them to discuss eachhymn and how difficult it is to sing itafter today’s lesson.


❍ I SurrenderDistribute hymnals and ask learners tofind the hymn “I Surrender All.” Tell yourgroup that this is a traditional hymn ofcommitment. Many may know the wordsfrom memory, but encourage everyone totake a few moments to read the text of thishymn. Ask them to consider prayerfullyhow much of the text they are willing tolive out. After a few moments, sing thehymn together as a closing prayer. Sing itas a commitment or sing it as a prayer,asking God for wisdom.

3Find Relevance

Why do adults care about thissession? Many adults in your

classroom will remember thedays before cable television. These

were the days when, in the fortunatehouseholds, there were three channels.The news was on for an hour. Sportingevents aired mostly on Sunday after-noons. Variety shows and sitcoms airedlive. This era produced The Carol BurnettShow, The Honeymooners, and The BeverlyHillbillies. Although they appear out oftouch with life as it is in 2002, some ofthese programs remain in daily syndica-tion. While its mode of operation wasprimitive by today’s standards, this wastelevision’s golden age. By contrast, today,“confrontational reality” talk shows airdaily. Many of them are broadcast late inthe afternoon, just after school lets out.In 2009, in print, on the radio, on the tele-vision, in the courtroom, in the shoppingmalls, and even in the home, speech thatis self-serving, undisciplined, and painfulsurrounds us. The wise teachers inProverbs wanted more for their studentsand for us. In an age and culture thatcherishes free speech, Proverbs offersimportant lessons in how to keep speechhealthy, honest, and wise.

Seeking UnderstandingWhat do these Scripturesmean? Proverbs has much to

say about truth and wisdom,mentioning speech in several

places. Proverbs encourages us to pursuespeech that is truthful and redemptive.Truthful speech is more than accurate. Ithas no intent to mislead. Redemptivespeech is always on the lookout for anopportunity to lift up another, forgive,ask forgiveness, etc. Perhaps the mostsignificant “key” to hearing Proverbs andperhaps the rest of Scripture, in regard tospeech, is recognizing the significant roleof the spoken word during the era inwhich it was written. If anything, we havea tendency to discount the importance ofspeech. Speech may be hateful and harsh,but it is, after all, just speech. Themodern world develops advances byfocusing on quantified or measurablerealities. The notion that one’s words areas or more significant or real than one’sexperience is difficult to comprehend.Biblically, with speech, the world wascreated, Lazarus was raised from thedead, the prophets delivered God’s judg-ment, and sins wereforgiven


WISE

TALKProverbs 18:21; 16:23-30

14 Lesson 3



Moody Bible Institute, Stewardship Department<http://www.moody.edu/st/tiw/tdw/devotional.cfm?dy=24&mn=7&yr=1996>.

My Teaching Plan

I. Purpose of ProverbsA. Instruct the young.B. Provide guidelines for living under

God’s lordship.C. Rather than placing restrictions on life,

Proverbs wants hearers to discover joy,peace, and wisdom.

II. Speech in ProverbsA. Wise speech is truthful (Prov 14:5). B. Wise speech is timely (Prov 15:23).

Some words shouldn’t be put offbecause life is brief.

C. Wise speech is healthy (Prov 16:24).To enjoy life at its fullest, one mustspeak carefully and appropriately.

1. Healthy speech knows the differencebetween gossip and sharing out ofconcern.

2. Healthy speech can help a personavoid relational stress.

3. Speech can help someone experiencebetter health by offering forgive-ness/encouragement.

D. Wise speech can include silence (Prov11:12; 17:28).

1. Don’t say what you don’t mean.2. Don’t speak when the situation calls

for some other action.III. Speech in the Bible

A. It is very important.1. God spoke the world into being.2. Prophets delivered God’s judgment

through the spoken word.3. Jesus healed with words.4. Jesus forgave sins with words.

B. Fire is sometimes used as a biblicalsymbol to describe the coming of theHoly Spirit (Acts 2:3) and the power ofthe tongue (Jas 3:6)

C. It has more “weight” than speechtoday. We hear pending doom as a“threat.” Biblical witnesses heard theprophet’s words as the doom itself.Once a word was spoken, particularlyof judgment, it would set off an irre-versible series of events.

Offer IllustrationHow can I help learners think about the issues?

❍ Create Your OwnListed below are four quotations. Belowthe quotations are multiple ideas on howto use them. Choose one that best fitsyour group

Speak when you are angry—and you willmake the best speech you’ll ever regret. —Laurence J. Peter

Well-timed silence hath more eloquencethan speech. — Martin Fraquhar Tupper

Wise men talk because they have some-thing to say; fools, because they have tosay something. — Plato

I have learnt silence from the talkative,toleration from the intolerant, and kind-ness from the unkind; yet strange, I amungrateful to these teachers. — KahlilGibran

Option 1—Taking My StandIf your meeting space has ample room,place a sign on one wall that says “Agree”and on another wall one that says“Disagree.” Have participants stand.Explain to them that you will read aquotation and that they are to standunder the sign that best reflects theirperspective.

Option 2—Or, in Other WordsWrite one of the five quotations on eachof five strips of paper. Have the class formfive small groups and give each group oneof the five quotations. Ask them to restatetheir quotation in as many ways as possi-ble in three minutes. They can paraphrasein any manner they wish. Call time whenthe three minutes have elapsed. Ask arepresentative of each group to read theirgroup’s original quotation and report thenumber of paraphrases they brain-

stormed. Afterward, ask each group toread all their paraphrases.

Option 3—I Don’t Think SoExplain to the group that you will read aquotation and they are to consider how aperson might argue otherwise.

❍ Lesson from LincolnPresident Lincoln’s Secretary of War,Edwin Stanton, had a sharp disagreementwith a fellow military officer. Lincolnsuggested that Stanton write the officer aletter, detailing the degree and purpose ofhis anger.

Stanton later brought the letter toPresident Lincoln, who asked Stantonwhat he planned to do with it. “Send it,”was Stanton’s reply. However, Lincoln toldhim to burn it. “That’s what I do when Ihave written a letter while I am angry. It’sa good letter. You had a good time writingit and you feel better. Now burn it andwrite another.” (Moody)

Questions➤ What do you think of Lincoln’s advice?

What can a person expect for notfollowing the advice Lincoln gave? Iswriting when angry better than speak-ing when angry? Why?

Teaching Guide 15


❍ God, Others, and MeOn the board, draw a triangle with one ofthese words at each point: God, others,me. Explain that our speech can destroyor build up relationships with God andothers. Read each of the verses below.After each verse, ask, “Is this teachingmore about our own health, our relation-ship with God, or our relationships withothers?”

Prov 4:24—Put away from you crooked-speech, and put devious talk far from you. Prov 6:12—A scoundrel and a villain goesaround with crooked speech. Prov 6:22—When you walk, they will leadyou; when you lie down, they will watchover you; and when you awake, they willtalk with you. Prov 8:13—The fear of the LORD is hatredof evil. Pride and arrogance and the wayof evil and perverted speech I hate. Prov 12:6—The words of the wicked are adeadly ambush, but the speech of theupright delivers them. Prov 14:3—The talk of fools is a rod fortheir backs, but the lips of the wisepreserve them. Prov 14:23—In all toil there is profit, butmere talk leads only to poverty.Prov 16:21—The wise of heart is calledperceptive, and pleasant speech increasespersuasiveness. Prov 16:27—Scoundrels concoct evil, andtheir speech is like a scorching fire. Prov 17:7—Fine speech is not becoming toa fool; still less is false speech to a ruler. Prov 19:1—Better the poor walking inintegrity than one perverse of speech whois a fool. Prov 22:11—Those who love a pure heartand are gracious in speech will have theking as a friend. Prov 29:20—Do you see someone who ishasty in speech? There is more hope for afool than for anyone like that.

QuestionsQuestions about Scripture➤ What does Proverbs 18:21 mean?➤ What important events in the Bible

involve speaking?➤ In Proverbs 16:27 and James 3:6,

speech/tongue is described as “fire.”Why is fire an appropriate symbol fortalking about the power of speech?

Questions for All Adults➤ When have you been hurt by words?

When have you been hurt by what wasunspoken?

➤ When have you been healed or loved bywords? by what was unspoken?

➤ What forms of gossip are widelyaccepted today?

Questions for Mature Adults➤ Do you remember the war posters

stating, “Loose lips might sink ships”?What effect did they have on youand/or others?

➤ What do you think Proverbs might sayif updated today?

➤ Is there something you need to say?

Questions for Younger Adults➤ According to Proverbs, when is self-

expression wrong?➤ Can you take back something that’s

been spoken?➤ How might one prevent speaking too

impulsively?➤ Proverbs was written as a form of

instruction for the young. Do youthink it succeeded?

Questions for Adults with Children➤ What have you taught your children

about what they say?➤ What have you taught by yourexample?➤ From what kind of speech have you

protected your children?

16 Lesson 3


❍ Small Only in SizeAsk someone in the class to read James3:1-12. Remind your group that Jamesgoes to great lengths to warn believersabout the ability of the tongue to destroyothers and self. He mentioned threesymbols for the power of the tongue: fire,a ship’s rudder, and horse’s bit. They arerelated in that they are small and holdsignificant influence. In each case, inat-tention is an unwise mistake. Ask yourgroup what happens if one fails to payattention to a fire? a ship’s rudder? ahorse’s bit? Encourage several responsesto each question. Then ask, “Whathappens if we fail to pay attention to howwe speak or what we say to others?”

Ask volunteers to express what theyhave learned from their own experiencesor someone else’s example about ways toharness the tongue’s ability. What aresome simple steps anyone could take tomake wiser use of their own speech? Writeresponses on a board.

❍ Sticks and StonesHave the class form small groups, andread the selected verses from Proverbslisted in the “God, Others, and Me” activ-ity. Then read James 3:1-12. Tell yoursmall groups that each has the sameassignment—to prepare the three pointsof an outline to the essay titled “Sticksand Stones Only: How Proverbs andJames Both Overreacted.” As a smallgroup, decide what three points youwould make to argue that words are justwords and that the psychic pain fromthem is fleeting and unimportant. Thisactivity is intended to be a playful or satir-ical way of involving learners in thinkingabout the importance of our speech, soset a playful tone and keep participants atease. After five to ten minutes, ask arepresentative of each group to sharetheir three-point outline.

Questions➤ Which of the arguments was mostcom-

pelling?➤ Which one(s) seemed most destructive

to a healthy relationship?➤ Have you ever known someone who

paid little attention to how they spokeor what they said? What were theeffects?

➤ What points would you include in arebuttal titled “Sticks and Stones andWords: Each Can Be Used to Build andDestroy”?


❍ Forgive us Lord

Lead the class in the following prayer,pausing at each ______, allowing for indi-vidual reflection.

O God who spoke the world intobeing and Whose Son was introduced tous as the Word, We thank you for thegreat words that have come from thecenter of your heart: Be healed, your sinsare forgiven, come unto me, turn and sinno more, suffer the children to come untome, and fear not. With words, you havebirthed, blessed, and loved us.Forgive us Lord for our careless use of words. Forgive us Lord for saying to another _______. Forgive us Lord for our careless use of words. Forgive us Lord for not saying to another ____.Forgive us Lord for our careless use of words.Forgive us Lord for withholding blessing.Forgive us Lord for delivering curses,All with words. May we speak your words, Withyour heart, With your voice. Amen.

Teaching Guide 17

Find RelevanceWhy do adults care about thissession? Character is steadily

becoming a more popular topicof thought and discussion. What

is it? How do you teach it? How do wedeal with conflicting approaches? Whatrole does faith play in character? Thequestions seem unending while theanswers appear slow to develop. While thequestions of how to nurture charactercontinue, few would question the need forcharacter in our society. Parents wish fortheir children the kind of trustworthyand local role models they knew as achild. Teens long to see adults livinghonestly and won’t settle for simpleanswers to complex questions. Characteris more than living within a prescribed setof moral guidelines. It is a way of life thatat least struggles to diminish the distancebetween one’s beliefs and one’s actions. In this session, adults are challenged toconsider not only the need for character,but also for their responsibility in nurtur-ing it.

Seek UnderstandingWhat do these Scripturesmean? Proverbs is, in many

ways, a treatise on character.What is it? How does one live it?

How do you know when you have it? Likeeverything good in Proverbs, characterbegins with the “fear of the LORD” orliving with God as Lord.

Today’s session focuses on Proverbs31:10-31, part of an oracle or teachingfrom Lemuel’s mother. Often referred toas “Ode to a Capable Wife,” this passagecontains descriptions from Lemuel’smother of the qualities he should seek ina spouse. However, they could fit underthe heading “How to Be a Person ofCharacter.”

In another passage Proverbs addressesthe “how” question: How does one teachor find character? (Prov 6:20-23). Theresponse is similar to Deuteronomy 6:4-9,where teaching character is like teachingeverything else important: Make whateveryou want to teach an important part ofyour own life, and those around you willlearn. In the Hebrew faith of the OldTestament, teaching was simply part ofliving. The biblical challenge is not onlyto support character, but also to be aperson of character. Biblically speaking,this is one instance in which it’s not thethought that counts.


WISE

CHARACTERProverbs 31:10-31

4

Teaching Guide 19



Character Counts, Josephson Institute of Ethics,1998 Report Card on the Ethics of American Youth<http://www.josephsoninstitute.org/98-Survey/98survey.htm> (30 November 2001).

Warren W. Wiersbe, The Integrity Crisis (Nashville:Thomas Nelson Publishers, 1991).

My Teaching Plan

I. Review of ProverbsA. It is a collection of easy-to-learn

lessons on daily living.B. “Fear of the Lord” is the thematic key

to living a life of wisdom.C. Proverbs is a collection with, likely,

many contributors.D. Attributing the teaching to King

Solomon was a respectable means ofmaking sure learners could have confi-dence in the teaching.

II. Proverbs 31:10-31A. This is a teaching from King Lemuel’s

mother, instructing her son on thingsto keep in mind when considering aspouse.

B. These verses are often referred to as“Ode to a Capable Wife,” but theypaint a picture of any person who liveswith integrity and character.

III. Qualities of a Spouse of CharacterA. She is more precious than anything

(v. 10).B. She is trustworthy (v. 11).C. She works hard (vv. 13, 19).D. She is involved in the family business

(v. 14).E. She diligently provides for her family

(v. 15).F. She has good business instincts and

prepares for the future (v. 16).G. She is generous and helps the needy

(v. 20).H. She enables her husband’s success

(v. 23).I. She is full of wisdom and kindness

(v. 27).J. She is loved by her children (v. 28).

IV. Lessons LearnedA. The reader is left to ask, “Is it possi-

ble?” or as Lemuel’s mother asked,“Who can find her?” (v. 10).

B. Proverbs’ response is, “Yes, with fear ofthe Lord.”

C. Teaching character is primarily amatter of being a person of character.

Offer IllustrationHow can I help learners think about the issues?

❍ The NumbersRead the following statements, leavingthe percentages blank. Ask participants toguess the percentages, fill in the blanks,and write them on the chalkboard.Remind participants not to look in theirbooks.

Character Survey among High School Students_____% admit to cheating on an exam in

the previous twelve months (answer70%).

____% stole something from a store in thepast year (answer 47%).

____% stole something twice in the pastyear (answer 25%).

____% lied in the past year (answer 92%).____% report being “satisfied with my own

ethics and character” (answer 91%).____% think it’s not worth it to lie or

cheat because it hurts your character(answer 80%).

Questions➤ Which numbers surprise you?➤ Which numbers don’t?➤ Are these percentages a reflection of

what teenagers have learned fromadults? Why or why not?

➤ Where does character come from?➤ What do you make of the last statistic,

where a majority consider it wrong tolie or cheat?

Variation: Give your group a “pop quiz.”Tell them that this quiz will reveal eitherhow well they know teenagers or how wellthey read their session for today. Read thefill-in-the-blank items above and askparticipants to write their responses onpaper. After reading all the items, revieweach one and call for their guesses beforegiving the correct answers.

❍ Laughter, Anger, and TearsWill Rogers was one of the twentiethcentury’s most beloved personalities. Hisdown-home wisdom and sharp wit madehim a favorite. Even more, many admiredand appreciated his humanitarian acts.Once, Rogers visited the Milton H. BerryInstitute in Los Angeles, a unit for victimsof severe and debilitating injuries. Asusual, he had everyone laughing, eventhose with severe injuries. Suddenly,Rogers left the platform and went straightto the men’s room. Milton Berry foundhim there, leaning on a wall and weepingprofusely. Berry simply closed the door.Moments later, Rogers appeared back onthe stage, happy and funny as ever.

In writing of this incident in TheIntegrity Crisis, Warren Wiersbe suggeststhat if you want to know everythingimportant about a person—his or hercharacter—ask three questions: Whatmakes you laugh? What makes you angry?What makes you cry? (75–76)

Questions➤ What questions would you add to those

three?➤ What are some of the things that make

people angry today? laugh? weep?➤ Are any of these things petty?➤ How do these three questions point to

a person’s character?

20 Lesson 4


❍ Text–Context—ConflictsText: Introduce Proverbs 31:10-31 as theteaching of King Lemuel’s mother onwhat to look for in a spouse. Then, asksomeone to read the passage. Write on thechalkboard “Signs of Character.” Asklearners to name qualities of the persondescribed in these verses. See the“Teaching Outline” for a summary ofqualities.

Context: Next, ask learners to considerhow King Lemuel might have felt. Giveeveryone a piece of paper and ask them toimagine themselves as King Lemuel andyour mother telling you what to look forin a spouse. Write how you think Lemuelmust have felt or what he said to hismother.

Conflicts: Continue by reminding thegroup that obviously the person describedin Proverbs 31 is somewhat idealized.Who can blame a mother for wanting agreat spouse for her son? But Proverbsincludes this teaching because it illus-trates something about which the entirebook is confident. Notice that the versesend the way the book of Proverbs beginsby pointing out the “fear of the LORD” asbeing the key to a life well lived. Living inthe fear of the Lord or with God as yourLord makes this kind of life possible.

Continue by saying something like,“It’s easy to read these verses and think,‘Yes, it is good to live as God wants.’ Theconflict comes when we consider the OldTestament’s response to the question‘How is character taught?’ The Bibledoesn’t point to a program, slogan, orcivic campaign. The Bible points to you.”Ask someone to read Proverbs 6:20-23 andthen Deuteronomy 6:4-9. Simply put, theBible says if you want to teach characterand be surrounded by people of character,then be someone of character yourself.

Questions• How does our church teach character?• Who are your role models?• For whom are you a role model?

QuestionsQuestions about Scripture➤ What strikes you about the description

of the dream daughter-in-law?➤ Are these verses only applicable to

being a “capable wife”?➤ What other Scripture would you use to

teach about character?

Questions for All Adults➤ On a scale of one to ten (ten being

outstanding), rank our country, state,and community in terms of character.

➤ Who can/should teach character? ➤ How does the increasing presence of

other world religions in our culturecomplicate the manner in which weapproach character education?

Questions for Mature Adults➤ From whom did you learn character?➤ What life experience unexpectedly

taught you something about character?➤ How do you continue learning charac-

ter in your life?

Questions for Younger Adults➤ What does “character counts” mean?

Does it?➤ What qualities do you look for before

you decide someone has “character”?➤ Who is learning character from you?

Questions for Adults with Children➤ How are your children learning

character?➤ How has Proverbs changed your

perspective on character education?➤ On what basis do you decide what your

children are taught about faith andcharacter?

Teaching Guide 21

22 Lesson 4


❍ Average Joe, a.k.a. A. J.Duplicate on the chalkboard the chartfound on the next page. Tell your groupthat Proverbs 6:20-23 places the responsi-bility for teaching character squarely onthe shoulders of those who realize theimportance of character. Character is besttaught by example. Proverbs doesn’t evenmention another method. If it is true thatcharacter is taught best by example, let’simagine the truly Average Joe. We’ll callhim A. J. for short. First, we’ll outline hisbasic day and then define the qualitiesabout character that may be involved.

As a group, fill in the outline on thechalkboard, giving summary statementsabout likely activities for A. J. Forexample, early in the morning A. J. islikely to wake up, eat a quick breakfast,and go to work.

Then, for each period, consider whatlessons about character A. J. might beteaching. For example, if A. J. rushes towork to beat rush hour, he might beteaching impatience. Lead the group in abrainstorming discussion around all theopportunities for teaching both positiveand negative things about character.

Questions➤ Is it fair to think that we are “always

on” when it comes to character educa-tion?

➤ For whom are you a role model? Whatdoes your typical weekday teach?

➤ Read Proverbs 31:10-31. What do youimagine this imaginary person was likeon a weekday morning? Sundaymorning?

➤ What does “fearing the Lord” have todo with character education?

Variation: This activity could also beaccomplished by having your class formsmall groups and giving each group acopy of the Resource Kit page.

❍ Everybody Knows Use this activity to explore our culture’sfascination with celebrities and their rolein character formation. Begin by askingthe group to create a list of the ten mostfamous people from this country.

Next, read Proverbs 31:10-31 andbriefly discuss the qualities of characterfound there. Then, read Proverbs 6:20-23and point out that character, like otherimportant issues, is taught by example.

Suggest that if Proverbs is right, thenwe teach and learn character throughexample. With that in mind, ask what onewould learn about character from the tenpeople you’ve just listed. (The intent ofthis activity is not to be harsh toward afamous person, but rather to take stock ofhow much influence celebrities have andhow that affects character in general.)


❍ Practical LivingClose the session by helping the group toconsider practical ways to live as wisepeople with “Proverbs” kind of wisdom.For each of the settings below, ask groupmembers to suggest ways that one couldexhibit wisdom—the love and mercy ofGod.

In the supermarket? In traffic?Around the dinner table?At the office? At the bank?

After brainstorming practical ways tolive out a life of wisdom, ask participantsto prayerfully choose two concrete thingsthey will do this week that reflect thewisdom of God. Finally, voice a prayer forGod’s leadership, encouragement, andwisdom as we seek to embody the wisdomof God.

Average Joe, a.k.a. A. J.

Morning

Afternoon

Evening

Week Day Activity Character Involved

Saturday Activity Character Involved

SundayActivity Character Involved

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