NBMA

Proudly presented by: Miss Manners (M.D. Van Ham)( )

Biosolids & Charm?Biosolids & Charm?P ti R litPerception = Reality

C i i & E iCommunication & Experience

Engagement

Materials and Methods

“Failure is not an option!”‐Biosolids Senior Management

Materials & MethodsMaterials & MethodsWhat

Advertisements

HowTelephone

Fact Sheets

Demonstrations

BMPs/BMGs

E‐mail

Website

Conferences/

Hand outs

Publications

Testimonials

Tours

Associations

Radio/TVTestimonials Radio/TV

“Communication leads to community, that is, to understanding, intimacy and mutual valuing”‐ Rollo May, 1949

MannersMannersM “G id li f Li i ”Manners are “Guidelines for Living”

Respect

Consideration

Honesty

Graciousness

DifferenceDifference

“Don’t squeeze your buttocks to prevent the emission of gas as it may injure your health so if youDon t squeeze your buttocks to prevent the emission of gas as it may injure your health, so if you must in company, cover with a discreet and well‐timed cough”

‐ Erasmus, 1530

Prudent, secure Biosolids Generator ‐having proven technology and beingwell endowed with significantwell‐endowed with significantinventory ‐ seeks an experienced, lowcost, socially aware, environmentallycost, socially aware, environmentallyconscious, regulatory compliant, safeManagement Option for mutualsatisfaction. Discretion assured andexpected.

“True love stories never have endings”‐ Ralph Waldo Emerson

A f l bi lidA successful biosolids management programmanagement program is dependent upon d l ddeveloping and maintainingmaintaining Relationships

“True love stories never have endings”‐ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Course OutlineCourse OutlineCh S h l U it #1 R l ti hiCharm School Unit #1: Relationships1. Preparing for the First Date

2. Dating Etiquette

3. Building & Maintaining a Relationship

4. Keeping it Interesting

5 Living Happily Ever After5. Living Happily Ever After

“You must love me”‐Eva Peron in Evita, 1996

Date PreparationB f th D t

Date PreparationBefore the Date:

Complete a self‐appraisal

Set realistic expectations

Understand what you want

Present yourself well

“Once upon a time he asked her out and paid for everything She followed his agenda with dewyOnce upon a time, he asked her out and paid for everything.  She followed his agenda with dewy eyed appreciation.   What a long way we have come!”

‐ Peggy Post, Emily Post’s Etiquette

Self AppraisalSelf AppraisalK Y lf ( d Bi lid )Know Yourself (and your Biosolids):

Qualities – good and not so good

Boundaries and limits

Size mattersMaking it happen together – Decisions (of course)

“Commitment to the principles of respect for oneself and others consideration and integrityCommitment to the principles of respect for oneself and others, consideration, and integrity won’t guarantee success in dating, but it can make the process a lot more enjoyable.”

‐ Peggy Post, Emily Post’s Etiquette

Realistic ExpectationsRealistic ExpectationsC itt d R l ti hi t k TiCommitted Relationships take Time 

Don’t expect them to put out (the contract) on the first dateA relationship is not a business dealAnticipate nervous interest & apprehensionDesperation smells real badDesperation smells real badIf you are not interested – am I valuable? No hasty decisions

“If you expect every date to be Mr. or Ms. Right, you’re sure to be disappointed.”‐ Peggy Post, Emily Post’s Etiquette

Understand the DesireUnderstand the DesireWh t th bj ti ?What are the objectives?

Biological clocks (timeline) 

Monogamy vs. polygamy (diversification)

The trophy spouse (showcase program)

Date to the Christmas party (Craig’s list) or long‐term relationship (seasonal vs. year‐round application)relationship (seasonal vs. year round application)

What are your partner’s objectives? (imagination only)

Previous experiences (influence on perception) 

“No date should be expected to read minds A partner deserves to know whether you want to goNo date should be expected to read minds…  A partner deserves to know whether you want to go out for the sheer fun of it or are looking for a long‐term commitment.”

‐ Peggy Post, Emily Post’s Etiquette

Present Yourself WellPresent Yourself WellR b h t th idRemember what your mother said:

Brush your teeth

Have a clean car and clean clothes

You only have one chance to make a first impression –make sure it’s a good one 

First impressions are hard to changeFirst impressions are hard to change

Fashion MisdemeanorsM S d l i h i h j l h i b d di i i i h h l d hiMen: Sandals with a suit, too much jewelry, shoes in bad condition, tie with short‐sleeved shirtWomen: Torn hems and linings that show, too high heels, jewelry that makes too much noise 

‐ Peggy Post, Emily Post’s Etiquette

Dating Etiquette (1)Dating Etiquette (1)Invoke your manners

Be on time

Respect their property

Focus on your good qualitiesFocus on your good qualities 

Be honest

Keep your word

All lf b l d l lAllow yourself to be explored slowly

“D ti i t lif l it t ”“Dating is not a lifelong commitment.”‐ Peggy Post, Emily Post’s Etiquette

Dating Etiquette (2)Dating Etiquette (2)Invoke your manners

Your challenges are not theirs 

Talk in a manner they will understand – not everyone    is impressed that you can speak Acronymp y p y

Listen and allow your date to talk  ‐ commonalities

Refrain from multi‐tasking – what is important?

Be and look interested (you are)Be and look interested (you are)

Be ready for action

Leave good memories

“Bi lit i di t l d bl h f d t S t d i ht”“Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night”‐Woody Allen

Create Interest (Tease?)(Tease?)Local Community

Stakeholders

Competition

Leave Memories (reminders)

Aggressive PursuitGorilla demonstrationsGorilla demonstrations

Must be confident

Enable “saving of face”

Relationship Building Relationship Building D l i th l ti hiDeveloping the relationship

Understand your partners needs and desires – ask    them

Address concerns

Talk about the big things: finances, adding to the   family

Get together often ‐ communicate

Your relationship includes family, friends & neighbours

I t ld th i l th t h h h d h id “ t th h ll ff t ”I told my mother‐in law that my house was her house, and she said “get the hell off my property”‐ Joan Rivers

Address ConcernsAddress Concerns

Address ConcernsAddress Concerns

Needs and DesiresNeeds and Desires

CommunicateCommunicate

CommunicateCommunicate

FinancesFinancesEstablish and recognize value:g

Important to have a realistic budget

Understand financial responsibilities 

Recognize and appreciate valueRecognize and appreciate value

Explore opportunities to change finances

Participate in EventsParticipate in Events

Meet their FamilyMeet their Family

Meet their FriendsMeet their Friends

Meet their PeersMeet their Peers

Meet their NeighboursMeet their Neighbours

Show off ShowcaseShow off - Showcase

Adding to the FamilyAdding to the Family

Addi t th F ilAdding to the Family

Keeping it InterestingKeeping it InterestingM ki it t th Sil A iMaking it to the Silver Anniversary:

Be considerate

Remember the other person is your partner – mutual benefit

Take their concerns seriously

Show some appreciation – celebrate your relationshipShow some appreciation  celebrate your relationship

Participate in family events

Long distance relationships – local awareness

Ch itChange it up…

“If the relationship is to survive it will be firmly planted in the Golden Rule: Treat the person youIf the relationship is to survive it will be firmly planted in the Golden Rule: Treat the person you care about as you want to be treated.”

‐ Peggy Post, Emily Post’s Etiquette

Be ConsiderateBe Considerate

AppreciationAppreciation

ChallengesChallengesA B i th R l ti hi R dA Bump in the Relationship Road:The Art of Responding

Don’t automatically take it personallyDon t automatically take it personally

Size up your annoyances

Take responsibility for your actions – avoid blame

B i df l f h i d tBe mindful of your phrasing and tone

Always meet in person

Know when to take a break

“The quality which perhaps more than any other distinguishes true sportsmanship is absence of temper…not temper brought along and held in check, but temper securely locked and left at 

home.”‐ Emily Post in Emily Post’s Etiquette

Living HappilyLiving Happily…E AftEver After  

Don’t take it for granted – many people wish they had what you have

Relationships take time

“And as fluid as manners are (and always have been), they rest on the same bedrock principles:And as fluid as manners are (and always have been), they rest on the same bedrock principles: respect, consideration, and honesty.”

‐ Peggy Post, Emily Post’s Etiquette

NBMA

Mi M (M D (Mik ) V H )Miss Manners (M.D. (Mike) Van Ham)

SylvisPhone: 604 777 9788Phone: 604.777.9788

Email: mvanham@sylvis.com