Protective Urges: Understanding

and Working with the Feelings Underlying

Parent-Caregiver Relations

Alicia TuestaDeborah Greenwald

Protective Urges: Working with the Feelings of

Parents and Caregiver

Agenda

5 Minutes Faculty introductions and introduction to the topic

45 Minutes Recognizing parent’s feelings: Research findings and personal experiences.

25 Minutes Recognizing caregiver’s feelings

15 Minutes The Four Step Process

BREAK

15 Minutes Step Four: Develop an Action Plan

1 Hour Marisabel Scenario, Small group work

Developed by Betty Blaize, Deborah Greenwald, and Alicia Tuesta. © 2010 WestEd, The Program for Infant/Toddler Care. This document may be reproduced for educational purposes.

Research has shown that parents feel reassured when caregivers exhibit three critical qualities:

What Parents Want from Caregivers

Source: National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH)

Step 1

Developed by Betty Blaize, Deborah Greenwald, and Alicia Tuesta. © 2010 WestEd, The Program for Infant/Toddler Care. This document may be reproduced for educational purposes.

Uncover your own deep feelings, rather than focus on the behavior of others.

Be accepting of your feelings.

2 Step

Developed by Betty Blaize, Deborah Greenwald, and Alicia Tuesta. © 2010 WestEd, The Program for Infant/Toddler Care. This document may be reproduced for educational purposes.

Talk about your feelings with colleagues or your program manager to get more clarity about them.

Step3

Create a relaxed setting to listen and learn about the parent’s perspective. At this time, don’t try to resolve any issues

Developed by Betty Blaize, Deborah Greenwald, and Alicia Tuesta. © 2010 WestEd, The Program for Infant/Toddler Care. This document may be reproduced for educational purposes.

•Active Listening•Reading Body Language•Using Door Openers•Restating What You Hear •Respecting Confidentiality

Sensing: Recognizes silent messages speaker is sending – vocal tone, body language, facial expression Attending: Listener indicates attentiveness, receptiveness and acknowledges speaker using eye contact, open body language, affirmative head nods & verbal messages, and appropriate facial expressions. Responding: Listener tries to get feedback on accuracy of speaker's content & feelings, keeps the speaker talking, tries to get more information and makes speaker feel understood.

 

 

Refrains from evaluating speakers words

Places herself in speaker’s position

Suspends own thought and feelings

Gives full attention to speaker

Does not interrupt

Tries to get a deeper understanding of the other person

Is perceptive to what is not being saidSources: PITC A Guide to Creating Partnerships with Families (2nd Edition) pg.56 and The Art of Managing People, Phillip L. Hunsaker & Anthony J. Alessandra. Simon & Schuster, Inc. 1986

•I’d be interested in hearing your opinion. Will you share with me?

•Let me make sure I understand

•I’ve notice that

BE CAREFUL NOT TO SAY:

•Let me help you...

•This is the problem...

•Let me tell you what you need to do

Adapted by Carol Aghayan and Betty Blaize © WestEd. The Program for Infant/Toddler Care. This document may be reproduced for educational purposes.

Step4

Whether your action plan involves just yourself or you need to do more, plan the steps you’ll take toward a resolution:

• Addressing your own issues

• Interacting with the parent

• Finding outside help

Developed by Betty Blaize, Deborah Greenwald, and Alicia Tuesta. © 2010 WestEd, The Program for Infant/Toddler Care. This document may be reproduced for educational purposes.

Step4

Addressing Your Own Issues• Get Support• Handle Your Stress• Set Boundaries

Interacting with the Parent• Reflect on the Relationship• Decide on the Content• Plan the Interaction

Finding Outside Help• Contact a resource and referral agency• Seek programmatic help• Identify specific services

Developed by Betty Blaize, Deborah Greenwald, and Alicia Tuesta. © 2010 WestEd, The Program for Infant/Toddler Care. This document may be reproduced for educational purposes.