A Project Report On

Indian Wedding

Of

Marwari and Muslim community

Submitted by –

Prasad Mahajan

Khushboo Murgai

Onkar

Saurav Sharma

Dhananjay

Meghna

From

MBA Div A

To

Prof. Sarita

On

22nd August, 2013

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Acknowledgement

We owe a great many thanks to a great many people who helped and supported us

during this project.

My deepest thanks to the Guide of this project Professor Sarita, for guiding and

correcting various documents of mine with attention and care. She has taken pain to go

through the project and make necessary correction as and when needed.

We would also take this opportunity to thank our friend Mr. Mohsin for his useful

guidance for our project work.

We would also thank my Institution and my faculty members without whom this

project would have been a distant reality. We also extend my heartfelt thanks to my

family and well wishers.

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INDEX

Sr. No.

PARTICULARSPage No.

1 Introduction of Nostalgia Event Managers 4

2 Indian Wedding Traditions 5

3 Hindu-Muslim Marriage 12

4 Rituals In A Marwari Wedding 16

5 Rituals In A Muslim Wedding 24

6 Nikahnaama 28

7 Saptapadi - Long Form 29

8 Bibliography 31

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Indian Wedding Traditions

One billion people, more than 1600 spoken languages, 28 culturally different states, over

9 religions, one country – India defines diversity. This diversity, seen in every realm of

Indian life starting from food & clothing to customs & traditions, is reflected in Indian

marriages as well. This project is a humble effort to give a glimpse into a colorful and

cultural extravaganza – the Indian wedding. We are restricting to Hindu Marwari and

Muslim weddings in this article.

In our culture, marriage symbolizes not just the sacred union of two individuals, but of

the coming together of two families and extended families as well! Their level of

involvement is so profound that typically the family decides the bride/groom. In fact,

even till a few decades ago the bride and the groom saw each other for the first time only

on their wedding day.

This trend has changed in urban areas, and in the present day, youngsters have a better

say in choosing their life partner. Families search for eligible partners for their children

through word of mouth or marriage priests primarily.

However with the internet revolution in India online matrimonial sites are also becoming

quite a hit! Arranged marriages are strictly intra-religion and intra-caste. Compatibility of

the couple is assessed on the basis of horoscopes, and if good, then an alliance is sought

for. In urban areas, the couple goes a step further to interact and see if their interests and

natures match. If the alliance is agreeable to both parties, they proceed to plan for the

engagement ceremony and the wedding.

Though arranged marriages are still the norm, love marriages are becoming a common

occurrence these days, predominantly in urban areas.

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Months before the wedding an engagement ceremony, known as Mangni (in North India)

or Nischitartham (in South India), is held. The two families meet to perform rituals to

make the engagement official. A muhurat (auspicious date & time) for the wedding is

decided based on horoscopes. The couple is then blessed by elders of both families, and

is given gifts including jewelry and clothing by their new family. In certain traditions,

engagement is marked by the exchange of rings between the bride and groom to be.

Indian engagement ceremonies are very elaborate and vibrant, a sort of prequel to the

main wedding, involving close friends and relatives. The period between the engagement

and the marriage is one of great excitement and anticipation for both the bride and groom

to be. It is marked with a lot of fun-filled activities, with both families getting to together

to plan the wedding, to shop, and getting to bond.

Pre-Wedding Ceremonies

Traditional Indian weddings last a week, and start with pre-wedding ceremonies. Haldi is

a ritual holy bath during which turmeric (Haldi), oil and water is applied to both the bride

and groom by married women. This is followed by Mehendi ceremony, during which the

bride’s hands and feet are decorated with intricate patterns by the application of Henna.

On a lighter note, it is believed that, deeper the color of the mehendi (henna) stronger is

the groom’s love for the bride. With foot tapping music and dances, this ‘ladies-only’

party lends a break from the otherwise more ritualistic ceremonies. When the bride goes

to the groom’s house after the wedding, she is not expected to perform any housework

until her mehendi has faded away.

Other important North-Indian pre wedding ceremonies include Sangeet, and Tilak.

Sangeet means music. As the name suggests, this function is an evening of musical

entertainment and merriment hosted by the bride’s family. The main significance of this

ceremony is that the bride is introduced to all the members of her new family. As a part

of the Tilak ceremony, vermillion or kumkum is placed on the forehead of the groom by

all the male members of the bride’s family. Kumkum is a sign of auspiciousness. Presents

are given to the groom and his family, requesting them to take care of the bride.

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Janavasam is a predominantly south Indian tradition, where the groom is paraded around

the town on a chariot (or nowadays an open car!), the evening before the wedding. In

small towns and villages this event serves to show the groom to the people, so that if they

knew anything about the groom that had to be brought to the notice of the bride’s family,

they could do so. This is similar to the Christian tradition of the priest asking those

present, if anyone had any objection to the wedding.

Wedding Attire

Traditionally the bride wears a sari or a lehenga which is highly ornate with gold and

silver embroidery. The color of the sari or the lehenga is of great significance, and is

different for different communities. The colors generally considered auspicious for the

occasion are, red, yellow, green or white. Red is most common and it symbolizes

prosperity, fertility and saubhagya (marital bliss). The bride also dons elaborate and

beautiful ornaments primarily made of gold and precious stones. Her hair is plaited and

decorated with flowers and jewelry. In north India, the bride also wears a ghunghat (veil),

draped modestly over her hair as a sign of respect to the deities worshipped and the elders

present.

The groom wears a dhoti or sherwani which also has a lot of subtle but intricate

embroidery. The color of dhoti or the sherwani is usually white, off-white or beige. In

North-India, the groom also wears a turban with white flowers tied in suspended strings

called the Sehra. In some traditions, he may also sport a sword as part of his wedding

outfit. In most south Indian weddings, both the bride and the groom have a kajal (black)

mark on their cheek, to ward off ill omen and evil eye. Though the bride and the groom

clearly steal the show with their exquisite outfits, the families of the bride and the groom,

friends, relatives and guests wear very grand clothes. Thus, a typical Indian wedding is a

very colorful affair!

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Wedding Ceremony

If one thinks this is a lot of rituals, wait till the big wedding day. The actual wedding

ceremony itself is around 3 hours long, not including many other smaller rituals before

and after the muhurat (auspicious time). The wedding is usually held at the bride’s home

or a wedding hall. The arrival of the groom is an important and fun-filled event. The

groom, dressed in his wedding attire, leaves his home to the wedding venue on a

decorated ghodi (horse) or for the more extravagant, on a decorated elephant! Along with

the groom sits his 'best man' usually a younger brother, cousin or nephew who acts as his

caregiver. However, these days, these customs are not seen any more as most grooms like

to travel by luxury cars.

The groom is usually accompanied by his family members, relatives and friends in a big

procession (Baarat) with a lot of pomp and show including music, orchestra, dance and

fireworks.

At the wedding venue, the bride waits for the groom, with a Jaimala/Varamala, which is a

decorated garland. Soon after the groom arrives, the bride and groom exchange garlands.

On a lighter note, it is considered that, whoever puts the garland first on their partner, will

have an upper hand in the marriage. Following this, the bride's parents and elder

members of the family welcome the groom and the guests. The mother of the bride

performs the Aarti when the groom enters the house.

The Baraat and Jaimala are primarily North-Indian traditions. In South-India, on the

morning on the wedding day, there is a ceremony called Kashi Yatra, during which, the

groom dressed simple attire, throws a fit (obviously a fake one), declaring that he has

decided to give up the institution of marriage to go to Kasi (Varnasi) to take up

sainthood. This is when the bride’s father/brother humbly requests the groom to choose

marriage over sainthood, convincing him that the bride will assist him in his subsequent

spiritual pursuit. The couple exchanges garlands following this event, during which both

parties carry the bride and groom making it tougher for the other to put the garland. This

is another fun event, eliciting a lot of laughter.

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Another popular north Indian tradition is Baasi Jawari or Joothe Churana (stealing the

shoes). The bride’s sisters hide the groom’s shoes, and demand the groom money to have

them returned. Apart from all the fun, many pujas (prayers) are performed by the bride

and the groom on the day of the wedding. The bride does a Gowri puja (worshipping the

Indian goddess Parvathi), and the groom does a Ganesh puja (worshipping the elephant

headed Indian deity Ganesha), to gain their blessings, so that the entire wedding runs

smoothly without any hurdles.

Kanyadaan or giving away of the bride, is an important part of the main wedding ritual.

Kanyadaan is derived from the Sanskrit words kanya which means virgin girl and daan

which means giving away. This is performed by the father of the bride, where he gives

his daughter to the groom, requesting him to accept her as an equal partner. Unlike in a

Christian wedding, the bride and groom marry each other and the priest only facilitates

the marriage by reciting mantras or holy hymns, but doesn’t have the authority to declare

them married.

The bride and groom are considered wed when the groom ties a mangalsutram/thali

which is a sacred thread that symbolizes his promise to take care of the bride as long as

he lives. The groom ties three knots when he ties the Thali, symbolizing the gods

Brahma, Vishnu and Maheshwara. The entire wedding is done around an Agni Homam

(sacred fire). Agni (fire god) is considered as the main witnesses to the marriage. The

bride and the groom then circle the fire seven times, in a clockwise direction, called Saat

Phere which signifies seven goals of married life which include religious and moral

duties, prosperity, spiritual salvation and liberation, and sensual gratification. The bride

leads the Pheres first and then the groom leads them, signifying equality of the two

partners and their determination to stand beside each other though happiness and sorrow.

Another interesting tradition is the Sapthapadhi which means taking seven steps together.

It is believed that if one follows seven steps with another person, it is considered as a

confirmation of their eternal friendship. Thus in a wedding this symbolizes that the bride

and the groom will keep up their friendship for life and also partake equally in both good

and bad times in life.

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The wedding culminates with the groom applying vermillion or kumkum to the bride’s

forehead, welcoming her as his partner for life. This is the first time that kumkum is

applied to the forehead of woman, when the bridegroom himself adorns her with it. In

South-India, this is usually followed by the groom putting toerings on the bride. The

kumkum, the mangalsuthram and the toe-rings symbolize a married woman.

South Indian weddings also have a ceremony where the groom shows the Arundhati

Nakshatram (a subtle star in the Ursa Major constellation) to the bride. Historically,

Arundhati was the wife of Sage Vashishta, and was considered to be the chastest of all

women. It is believed that by seeing the Arundhati star, the bride will be as chaste as

Arundhati herself.

Some wedding traditions also include wedding games for the couple to lighten the mood.

In one such game they are to retrieve a ring from a pot of colored water, and this is done

thrice to decide the winner. In another game, the bride and groom work together, to untie

a ball of knots, using only one hand each. This symbolizes their perseverance in resolving

together, issues that might come up in life. Other games include breaking papad on each

other’s head, playing with a ball of flowers.

Food served during the wedding ceremony is traditional and vegetarian. A wide variety

of dishes are served. The types of dishes vary extensively from region to region. In

South-India, food is served on banana leaf.

Post – wedding ceremonies after the wedding ceremony is over; the bride is bid farewell

as she leaves for her husband’s house. This is a very emotional moment for the bride and

her family, as she is leaving her parent’s family to join her husband’s. In some traditions,

the couple goes first to the bride’s house, and after a few days leaves for the groom’s. In

olden days, the bride used to be carried to the groom’s house in a doli (palanquin). Upon

arrival at the groom’s house the newly-wed couple is greeted at the doorstep with Aarti to

ward off bad spirit. The bride then topples a kalash (metal pot) of rice with her right leg.

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Following this, the couple enters the house, taking the first step with the right leg. In

some traditions, the bride steps into a plate of vermillion mixed in water, and walks down

to the prayer room. All this constitutes the grihapravesh (griha – house, pravesh – entry)

ceremony. The bride and groom then perform Satyanarayana puja (prayer) showing their

gratitude to the lord.

The bride and the groom’s side hold a reception for family and friends. They may

combine it with the wedding or may hold it separately. This event is non-ritualistic.

People come to offer their greetings to the newly wedded couple. With so much of color,

vibrancy, food, people, rituals, music, fun and frolic, the Indian wedding is truly a festival

in itself!

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Hindu-Muslim Marriage

A marriage is not just the union of two individuals but, believe it not, a union of two

families and two communities. Historically, Islam and Hinduism were at odds for more

than 1300 years in India. Much of this history records the Muslim invasions of India,

repeated destruction of Hindu temples (e.g. Somanath in Gujarat), imposition of Jiziya

tax on Hindus and forced conversions to Islam. This history will inevitably have some

impact on interfaith couple’s life. Hindu-Muslim interfaith marriage with equality is only

possible if both spouses and their extended families are willing to share two religious

beliefs and follow each others’ practices without coercing each other later.

Here is all you want to know about your Hindu-Muslim relationship. It covers scriptures,

historical perspectives, practical issues, laws governing Hindu-Muslim marriages,

important 10 questions to ask and real-life experiences from other youths. It is hoped that

you will have a happy and long lasting married life even that is a Hindu-Muslim

marriage.

Interfaith marriage is one amongst the most fundamental sinful actions in Islam after

shrik, rebellion against parental authority and killing a person without any legal reason.

However, according to one recent survey, 45% of Muslims marry outside their faith in

America. It is a common practice that this “interfaith” marriage problem is solved by

conversion of the non-Muslim fiancée to Islam.

The Koran states "You shall not marry Mushrik women (idolatresses or who ascribe

God's attributes to other than Allah) unless they embrace the Faith. A believing slave

woman is better than a Mushrik woman although she may please you” Koran 2:221.

Hinduism views marriage as sacramental however Islamic Nikaah (marriage) is a

contract to obey Allah. A non-Muslim is expected to take Shahadah oaths before the

Nikaah. Shahadah is the declaration that there is no god but Allah and Prophet

Muhammad is the messenger of Allah.

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Associating partners (like Lord Shiva) with Allah, including worship of idols, offering

prayers or supplications to anyone, living or dead, is the greatest of all sins. No imam

will perform Nikaah without the Shahadah. Hindu wedding is not a valid marriage in

Islamic laws. A union of a man and a woman without a valid Nikaah is considered

adultery punishable by death. In short, for a Hindu, conversion to Islam before Nikaah is

a must.

Shahadah is an oath required to be taken by a non-Muslim to irreversibly convert to

Islam. Muslim Caliphates invited all Muslim civilians to be involved in defending the

Islamic state from attack of the non-Muslims. Religious conversion from Islam was

therefore conceptualized as a vital criminal violation that might be punishable by death

because a former Muslim would endanger the existence of all Muslims by allying with an

enemy of Islamr.

According to anecdotal evidence, most Hindu-Muslim marriages are performed by

Nikaah only and in a few cases by civil secular wedding. Nikaah is performed after

conversion of the Hindu fiancée to Islam and in presence of a very few relatives from the

former Hindu spouse. In a few cases, the Hindu marriage is also performed after the

Islamic Nikaah.

However, after conversion, this Hindu marriage is a totally superfluous oxymoron,

because it is a Muslim-Muslim wedding performed by Hindu priest in presence of all

Hindu Gods! Generally, in the Hindu ceremony Muslims relatives will not attend

because Gods other than Allah are being worshiped. At least as far now, there is no

fusion of Hindu-Muslim marriage rituals.

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Islam has very strict requirements for marriage. The requirements are stricter for a

Dharmic (Sikh, Buddhist, Jain or Hindu) rather than for a Christian or Jew (People of

Book; Abrahamics). A Muslim may expect an intended Hindu spouse to:

Q? Convert to Islam by taking Shahadah oaths before Nikaah,

Q? Adopt a Muslim name,

Q? Agree to name children with Arabic names,

Q? Agree to have male children undergo Sunat (religious circumcision),

Q? Agree to have children be raised in the Islamic faith only,

Q? Not worship Hindu gods at home or have a murti of Lord Ganesh in your living

room,

Q? Not undergo a Hindu marriage ceremony,

Q? Not wear Hindu symbols, such as a Bindi,

Q? (Later on) put on a veil and

Q? Undergo Sunat (circumcision) before the Nikaah.

The Hindu spouse in relationship with a Muslim will learn some of these expectations

just before the wedding and most after the marriage. After years of being in a romantic

relationship, reluctantly accepting the religious conversion may be the only way of

averting a marital breakup.

If a proud Hindu wishes to avoid the religious conversion, choosing not to have the

Islamic Nikaah is the only option. However, issues will come up while raising children

in two faiths. It is easy for young children to get confused with conflicting messages. For

example, when you take them to a Hindu or Jain temple, you ask them to believe in,

respect and bow to several forms of God. But when you take them to a mosque, they

hear just the opposite, exclusive, and intolerant messages.

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When confronted with such conflicting ideas, children may lose faith in any God or

religion. It is possible that later, you may be forbidden to practice your own Dharmic

religion so that the children would not learn and follow it. Also, your Muslim spouse or

his/her family may not like to be part of a Hindu religious activity while at your parent’s

home. When your fantasy love period ends and it transformed into a routine married life,

then these issues will become sore points in your life.

Hindus do not proselytize and there is no requirement for a non-Hindu to convert to

Hinduism before getting married. In most cases, the Muslim may try to convince the

Hindu intended spouse to convert to Islam (by Shahadah) just because that is a must

requirement of Islam, however, the Muslim does not have to reciprocate because that is

not a requirement of Hinduism.

Actually, formal religious conversion to Hinduism can be done and the Muslims should

be given that option to be fair to both to demonstrate interfaith relationships with

equality!

Interfaith relationships should be based on mutual respect for both faiths, and marriage

should be solemnized without imposing religious conversion on a spouse. After

marriage, both spouse’s faiths should get equal respect and consideration in home life and

raising children by finding their own solutions to the irreconcilable differences between

the two religions.

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Rituals In A Marwari Wedding

Engagement (Tika) Ceremony:

Engagement ceremony takes place at the home of the groom. The ceremony makes match

making official and binding for both bride and groom. Only the bride's father, brother and

other close relatives attend this ceremony. Ladies not even the bride accompany men folk

for the 'tika'. The ceremony is so called because the bride's brother actually applies a tilak

to the groom's forehead and makes the alliance or engagement official. A sword and other

presents including clothes, fruits, sweets etc are also given to the groom.

Ganapati Sthapna (installation) and Griha Shanti Ceremony

Ganapati sthapana & griha shanti takes place a couple of days before the wedding. A

havan is conducted by the bride/groom's family, which involves the installation of the

idol of Lord Ganesha

Bhaat:

Bhaat is a confirmation of this support. It is conducted by the groom's family and the

bride's family, in their respective homes.

The 'Mama' is called home so that he can be personally invited to attend the wedding. He

and his sister partake of cooked rice and moong (a lentil). She then feeds her brother

some sugar. He gives his sister a traditional tie-dye 'chunri' (dupatta) which she keeps

with her for always (literally for the rest of her life). The 'Mama' gifts the bride/groom

with their wedding outfits, jewellery, silver and cash. 'How much' again depends on each

family and their means.

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Tel Baan/Chaak: A ritual bath

The Baan is one of the first important ceremonies, which involves the bride/groom and

continues until the day of the wedding. The actual ceremony consists of application of

turmeric and sandal wood paste to the bride/ groom. Custom goes that once the baanstarts

the bride and the groom cannot leave the house.

The baan at the bride's house is an elaborate affair. The bride dresses in a traditional

orange poshak and is then brought under a silken canopy, which is held with the help of

swords on the four corners by four ladies who must belong to the same clan as the bride.

She is brought to the ladies gathering, who then apply the paste to her. A similar

ceremony takes place at the groom's house as well, although it is not as elaborate.

Dholans (women singers with dholak) sing auspicious pre-wedding songs while the

ceremony is in progress. It is interesting to note that dholans are omnipresent in

throughout the Marwadi wedding celebrations. They are accompanied by the Shehnai and

the nagara players.

The bride/groom is 'prepared' for the wedding by all their close relatives - generally only

the women of the families participate in this ceremony. Pure vegetable oils, fresh milk

curds, henna and turmeric is made into a paste and applied on the face and arms and feet

of the bride/ groom by their close family members. This symbolizes the cleansing and

preparation of one’s mind, body and soul before embarking upon the path of marriage.

The groom/bride is then taken for a bath.

Mehfils:

Mehfils are the integral part of a Marwari wedding. These are usually held in the

evenings. Separate mehfils are organised for the women and the men. At the ladies'

mehfil, all the womenfolk gather at a central place in an enclosed courtyard or hall.

Dressed in dazzling dresses, they perform the ghoomar (a special dance done in a group).

The bride at the mehfil is given an important position to sit and watch the proceedings.

Of course, the men have their own mehfil, where singers perform and these are strictly all

male parties.

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Mahira Dastoor

The mahira dastoor is yet another important ceremony, common to both the bride and the

groom's families. This ceremony is performed by the maternal uncle (Mama) of the

groom/bride, who, along with his wife and family, arrives with much fanfare, and is

received by the bride/groom's mother with the traditional welcome. The uncle then gives

clothes, jewellery, sweets etc., to the entire family and relatives. The ceremony signifies

that since at the time of a wedding there is considerable expenditure, it is the duty of the

brother to help his sister at her child's wedding.

Janev Ceremony:

Following the custom, the groom has to be dressed in saffron robes like an ascetic and

perform a havan before wearing the thread. The saffron robe signifies that the groom now

has two choices before him. That is either he renounces the world and becomes an

ascetic, or he accepts the institution of marriage and its responsibilities. After the havan is

completed and the thread given, the groom has to make a mock attempt to run from the

chains of marriage while the maternal uncle must catch him and convince his nephew

into accepting marriage.

Palla Dastoor:

On the day of the actual wedding, or maybe a day prior to it, the palla dastoor is brought

in by a few of the groom's relatives to the bride's house. The palla dastoor consists of

clothes, jewelry and gifts from the groom, which the bride has to wear during the

wedding ceremony.

Nikasi:

In a Marwadi wedding, the groom wears a padgi or headgear which is tied up by the jija

(sister's husband). The groom also wears 'pecha', 'kalgi' and 'tani'. A sehra either of

flowers or of pearls is tied on the pagdi. The sister in law (brother's wife) of the boy

applies kajal in his eyes. Later, groom's sisters tie golden threads to the reins of the mare

in a ceremony called 'vaag-gunthai'.

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While the sister is performing the ritual, her husband holds the reins of the horse. As a

custom, the groom pays a visit to the temple first before proceeding to the girl's house.

Korath:

Groom is personally invited to come to the wedding venue. When the bride is ready and

the auspicious time for the wedding is at hand, the men of the bride's family (her

brothers, cousins, uncles etc.) go to the groom's home with a silver thali with rice,

moong, jaggery, coconut the invitation card on it. Traditionally, the pujari also

accompanies the family members. The groom accepts the invitation and prepares to leave

for the wedding venue with his 'baaraat' - family and friends.

Baraat: Groom leaves for the wedding venue

This is a very colorful and very grand procession. The groom is majestic in a heavy off-

white gold brocade sherwani - long formal jacket with Nehru collar - and long slim pants

or churidars (traditional fitted pyjamas). He wears a bright red or saffron color turban

called 'safa' and a necklace with seven rows of pearls strung on gold (satladi) or two rows

of emeralds (panna).

On his turban is a 'sirpench' a kind of brooch. The groom sits on a white mare also richly

decorated and armed with a sword- a Rajput tradition- and he sets off to bring his bride

home. He is accompanied by all his relatives also wearing red turbans and a band which

plays traditional music (although nowadays it is more popular film music that is

played!!).The younger members of the baraat dance around and the groom arrives in this

fashion at the wedding venue.

At the entrance of the venue, on the top , hung or tied is a sort of small shrine with 7 birds

carved on the top and a small murthi (idol) of Ganesh inside it. The groom hits this with a

stick and only then enters the wedding hall.

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Toran:

The entrance of the girl's house is decorated with a 'toran'. As a custom the groom hits the

toran with a stick of neem. This ceremony is called 'toranachar' and is symbolic of

warding off the evil eye. After this the girl's mother does 'aarti' and 'tilak' to the boy.

Kanyadaan: Giving away the bride

This is the ceremonial giving away of the bride by her parents. The bride is on the right

of the groom. A gold or silver coin is placed in the palms of the bride and the same is

held by her father and placed on the groom’s hands saying "we offer you our daughter

hand in marriage. May she be a blessing and a lifelong companion to you".

Accompanied by appropriate prayers by the pujari water is poured over their joined hands

as they promise to live always in love. The bride then moves to the left of the groom and

he puts vermilion on her head in the parting of her hair.

Seer-Guthi: Putting vermilion on the bride

On a silver platter the bride is given rice, moong, jaggery, mithai (sweets) and cash. Her

hair is opened out and braided by her 'nanand' - husband’s sister, weaving into the end

mouli (red thread) which was blessed at the Naandi Ganesh Puja. The nanand then fills

the brides parting with vermilion (maang baran)...

The 'nath' a piece of jewelry worn on the nose - traditionally it is 2 pearls and a ruby -is

brought by the mother-in-law and placed on the brides lap. A brief puja is done to it and

then worn by the bride.

Jaimala:

The groom is escorted to a dais prepared for the Jaimala ceremony. As is customary in

Hindu marriages, the bride and groom exchange garlands. This is the first step of the

wedding rituals.

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Granthi-Bandhan:

The next step is 'granthi-bandhan' or tying the knot. In this the cloth tied around the

groom's waist is tied to the chunni of the bride. The ceremony is symbolic of the union of

two individuals. From this day they become one entity. Either the sister of the groom or

the priest does it.

Paanigrahan:

This is followed by the 'paanigrahan' ceremony. The groom takes the bride's hand in his

hand. It is again a symbol of this most pious union. It signifies that they will now be

together in good times and bad.

Pheras:

Then the groom and the bride go around the fire. This act is called 'pheras'. In a

Marawadi wedding only four 'pheras' are done in the mandap, rest of the three pheras are

performed at the entrance. Following the tradition, in the two pheras, the girl is in the

front and in the other two the boy leads

Ashwahrohan:

In the Ashwarnarohan ceremony the girl puts her foot on a grinding stone. The custom is

symbolic of steadfastness and symbolic of facing every challenge with courage. Then the

brothers of the bride puts 'kheel' or puffed rice in the bride's hand, which are passed to the

groom's hand and then offered to the fire. This ritual is symbolic of brother's happiness

and wishes of prosperity for his sister and her husband.

Vamang-Sthapana and Sindurdaan;

Later, in a ceremony called 'vamang-sthpana' the groom requests the bride to sit on his

left side, because the heart is in the left side of the body. This signifies that the groom is

accepting the bride and is establishing her in his heart. This is followed by sindurdaan

ceremony wherein the groom fills the bride's centre hair parting with sindoor or

vermillion. Sindoor is considered to be the most auspicious sign of a Hindu married

woman.

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Saptapadi:

Now, 'saptapadi' is carried out. The bride and the groom walk seven steps together. This

signifies that till now they have walked alone but from now on, they will always walk

together in synchronization. While observing the custom, the bride and the groom utter

seven sentences, which are in fact promises, they make regarding their conduct towards

each other. After this 'pherpatta' is done this signifies that the bride can freely proceed to

her in-laws house. After this the sister of the groom does the 'sargunthi' or adorning of the

girl's hair. This ritual signifies acceptance of bride by the groom's family.

Aanjhala Bharaai:

Following the 'aanjhala bharai' tradition, a bag full of money is put in the new bride's lap

by her father-in-law. This is his way of welcoming her into his family and also to make

her aware of her family responsibilities. The bride then distributes a part of this money to

her sister-in-law and her husband. After this the new couple get up from the mandap. All

the elders bless them when the couple touches their feet.

Paharavani:

The groom is then taken for 'paharavani' wherein he is made to sit on a new cloth or

asana and is welcomed by a Tika. He is also given gifts in the form of money, clothes and

other things for his personal use. A silver utensil or kachola is given to the groom's

father. The woman folk of the bride's side then take the groom for the fun-filled 'shloka

kahalai' session wherein he is made to recite poems or dohas. After this, the bride

worships the threshold (dahaleez) of her paternal home and breaks an earthen diya on it.

The groom and the bride are escorted out and they leave for the groom's house.

Vidaai: Bride leaves her parental home

This is a very emotional ceremony. The bride prepares to leave her parental home and go

with her husband to his home. Invariably tears are shed by all. The bride gets envelopes

of cash from all the elder member of her family. All the men of the bride’s family apply

tilak to the groom and give him envelopes of cash. The couple leaves in a car decorated

with flowers.

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Vadhu Pravesh: Bride enters her husband’s home

When the bahu-rani (daughter-in-law) arrives at her new home, she puts her right foot

over the threshold of the house into a tray of vermilion powder symbolizing the arrival of

good fortune. With both feet covered in red she now takes five steps and kicks over a

vessel filled with rice and coins to symbolize fertility and wealth in her home.

Of course there is some humor added to this solemn ceremony too… the bahu rani's

sisters-in-law sit on the threshold of the house refuse to allow their brother to bring his

new bride in unless he gives them some gifts or cash. He succumbs and is duly allowed to

bring his young bride into the home!!! :)

Pagelagni:

Pagelagni takes place the day following the grihapravesh. This is a ceremony where the

bride, still in veil, is formally introduced to all the family members of the groom who

bless her and give her gifts. The veil is then finally removed.

Other post - wedding ceremonies include the 'Chura' wherein the mother-in-law presents

bangles to the bride. While during the 'Mooh Dikhai', the bride gets a chance to get

acquainted with all her new family members one by one.

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Rituals In A Muslim Wedding

Wedding is a culmination of two souls and union of two families as per Islam. Muslim

weddings are celebrated with pomp and grandeur. Wedding ceremony is known as

‘Nikaah’ in Urdu. Most of the weddings are arranged and the boy and the girl have the

final decision in selecting their prospective bride or the groom. Muslim weddings are

conducted as per Islamic traditions. Pre-marriage rituals may differ slightly in different

countries. Muslims in India and Pakistan conduct the wedding as per the wedding rituals

in Middle Eastern countries. Muslim wedding rituals or Nikaah rituals can be broadly

divided in three categories, namely pre-marriage rituals, the wedding ceremony and the

post marriage rituals.

Pre-marriage rituals are conducted separately in the bride and the groom’s house.

Prospective bridge and the groom have limited interaction during these rituals. Once the

boy and the girl give the consent for the marriage, the pre-wedding rituals begin.

Ishtikara:

Before starting separate rituals in the bridge and the groom’s house, the Maulvi or the

religious head seeks permission from the Almighty to perform the wedding. This

tradition is known as Ishtikara. Ishtikara is usually held in the mosque, in presence of the

respective fathers of the bride and the groom and other senior members of the family.

After reciting, the verses from holy Quran and seeking the permission from Almighty, the

Maulvi and the father of the bride and the father of the groom have a consensus on the

marriage date.

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Imam-Zamin:

Now starts the bevy of events that are filled with fun and excitement. On a fixed day,

Groom mother and senior members from the groom’s family visit the bride and her

family. They carry fruits, dates, incense, perfumes and gifts for bride and her family

members. Groom’s mother also carries a silver coin or gold coin wrapped in a silken

cloth with her. This coin is tied to the bride’s arm and it signifies the marking of the bride

as the future daughter-in-law. This ceremony is known as Imam-e-Zamin. Imam-E-

Zamin is similar to the shagun ceremony in the Indian weddings. Few days after Imam-

Zamin, the date of Mangni or the engagement is fixed. Traditionally Mangni involves

exchange of gifts between the bride and the groom’s family. In the modern day, Muslim

bride and the groom may also exchange rings to mark the engagement.

Both the parties make themselves busy in the wedding preparation after the Mangni. In

the days to come, bride is pampered by her friends and relatives. Traditionally, Muslim

brides were bathed in essential and aromatic oils to make their skin soft and smooth.

Jasmine extracts are applied to the bride’s hair to add luster and fragrance to her hair.

Special food and bride’s favorite dishes are cooked to pamper her. This period also

involves the shopping frenzy. The bridal lehenga or the wedding outfit is chosen by the

mother in law and is presented to the bride along with jewelry, perfume, dates, and fruits.

Now there pre-marriage rituals are in full force at the bride’s place.

Mehndi ki Raat:

Mehndi ceremony is organized two to three days prior to the wedding night. Mehndi

ceremony is one of the most exciting ceremonies in the Muslim Wedding. During this

ceremony, the family members of the bride revel in music, song and dance. A paste of

fresh turmeric is applied on bride’s skin by her family, relatives and friends. This is done,

in order to bring in natural glow to her face. Beautiful Arabic Mehndi designsare drawn

on bride’s hands and feet. The first dot of henna is applied by the bride’s mother on

bride’s palm. Family members also have Arabic Mehndi designs or intricate Mehndi

designs drawn on their hand.

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This ceremony is dominated by women. Bride is fed by her mother with her own hands.

Cousins of the bride might engage in fun and frolic and resort to teasing the bride about

the groom. Mehndi ki Raat is much awaited ceremony in Muslim weddings. Many

traditional Muslim families believe that the darker the shade of henna on the bride’s

hand, happier is her married life. Muslim brides do not step out of their house after the

Mehndi ceremony until the day of their wedding.

Mahr or Baraat:

This ritual takes place on the wedding day, the groom arrives at the bride’s house or the

wedding venue with the Baraat. Baraat refers to the marriage procession that includes

friends, relatives, musicians etc. On reaching, the wedding venue, the groom shares a

sherbet (sweet drink similar to juice) with the bride’s brother or her relatives. Bride’s

sisters and cousins resort to slapping the groom and his friends playfully with a bouquet

of flowers. Groom is then welcomed by the bride’s parents.

Nikaah:

Muslim wedding is presided by the Maulvi or The Qazi. The bride and the groom are

seated separately. Maulvi or the head priest reads the verses for Holy Quran. The bride’s

father or the Walis then offers the bride in marriage to the groom. The groom then

proposes to the bride. Maulvi conveys the proposal to the bride. The ritual of processing

is called Ijaab. The bride then has to convey her acceptance by saying ‘Qubool’. Ijaab

and Qubool forge the ceremony. After the Ijaab and Qubool ceremony, starts the

ceremony of Meher. Meher is the endowment offered by the groom’s family to bride.

The Meher cannot be less than 10 dirham. Meher is usually in form of cash, gold and

property. Bride and the groom then sign the Nikahnaama. Fathers of the bride and groom

also sign the Nikahnaama along with the Maulvi. Nikahnaama signifies the formal

evidence of the wedding ceremony.

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Once the marriage is solemnized, bride and the groom are bought together and seated on

the stage. The couple first visits the women guests. In Muslim weddings, men and

women are seated separately. The groom gives gifts to the bride’s sisters and relatives.

Bride also receives gifts in form of jewelry, silk and silver coins. After paying visit to

elders from both the families, the couple returns to its sitting place. Throughout the

ceremony, the head of the bride and the groom are covered with a dupatta. The couple

then recites prayers under the guidance of the Qazi. A copy of holy Quran is placed

between the couple when they are seated among the common guests. The bride and the

groom cannot view each other directly.

Ruksat:

After the Nikaah is solemnized, bride is bid farewell by her teary eyed relatives. This

ceremony is called the Ruksat. During the Ruksat, the bride’s father places his

daughter’s hand in the hand of the groom and tells him to be her protector and her guide.

Groom’s mother welcomes the bride in their new house. A copy of Holy Quran is held

over the bride’s head during the welcoming ceremony. Bride seeks blessings from the

elders in the groom’s family. The bride visits her home on the fourth day of her wedding.

She receives a warm welcome from her family and relatives.

Chauthi:

On Chauthi the bride visits her parent's home. It is the fourth day after the wedding, when

she visits the home of her parents. She receives a grand welcome from her family

members.

Walima:

Groom’s family hosts a wedding reception at a chosen venue on the fifth day of

thewedding ceremony. This reception is formally known as Daawat-e-Walima. Both the

families, relatives and friends join the Daawat-e-Walima; they celebrate the unison of the

couple, and wish them a happy married life.

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Nikahnaama

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Saptapadi - Long Form

The long form of the key Hindu wedding ritual, Saptapadi, starts with preface announced

by the priest, and thereafter followed by a series of vows the groom and bride make to

each other. They are as follows:

Priest's preface: The world of men and women, united in the bond of marriage by

Saptapadi, to further promote the joy of life, together listen with triumph

Step 1 Groom's vow: O!, you who feeds life-sustaining food, nourish my visitors, friends,

parents and offsprings with food and drinks. O! beautiful lady, I, as a form of Vishnu,

take this first step with you for food.

Step 1 Bride's vow: Yes, whatever food you earn with hard work, I will safeguard it,

prepare it to nourish you. I promise to respect your wishes, and nourish your friends and

family as well.

Step 2 Groom's vow: O!, thoughtful and beautiful lady, with a well managed home, with

purity of behavior and thought, you will enable us to be strong, energetic and happy. O!

beautiful lady, I, as Vishnu, take this second step with you for the strength of body,

character and being.

Step 2 Bride's vow: Yes, I will manage the home according to my ability and reason.

Together, I promise, to keep a home that is healthy, strength and energy giving.

Step 3 Groom's vow: O!, skillful and beautiful lady, I promise to devote myself to

earning a livelihood by fair means, to discuss, and let you manage and preserve our

wealth. O! dear lady, I, as Vishnu form, cover this third step with you to thus prosper in

our wealth.

Step 3 Bride's vow: Yes, I join you in managing our income and expenses. I promise to

seek your consent, as I manage our wealth, fairly earned, so it grows and sustains our

family.

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Step 4 Groom's vow: O!, dear lady, I promise to trust your decisions about the household

and your choices; I promise to dedicate myself to help our community prosper, the

matters outside the house. This shall bring us respect. O! my lady, I, as Vishnu, take this

fourth step with you to participate in our world.

Step 4 Bride's vow: Yes, I promise to strive to make the best home for us, anticipate and

provide necessary things for your worldly life, and for the happiness of our family.

Step 5 Groom's vow: O!, lady of skill and pure thoughts, I promise to consult with you

and engage you in the keep of our cows, our agriculture and our source of income; I

promise to contribute to our country. It shall win us future. O! my skilled lady, I, as

Vishnu form, take this fifth step with you to together grow our farms and cattle.

Step 5 Bride's vow: Yes, I promise to participate and protect the cattle, our agriculture

and business. They are a source of yoghurt, milk, ghee and income, all useful for our

family, necessary for our happiness.

Step 6 Groom's vow: O!, lovely lady, I seek you and only you, to love, to have children,

to raise a family, to experience all the seasons of life. O! my lovely lady, I, as Vishnu,

take this sixth step with you to experience every season of life.

Step 6 Bride's vow: Feeling one with you, with your consent, I will be the means of your

enjoyment of all the senses. Through life's seasons, I will cherish you in my heart. I will

worship you and seek to complete you.

Step 7 Groom's vow: O friends!, allow us to cover the seventh step together, this

promise, our Saptapad-friendship. Please be my constant wife.

Step 7 Bride's vow: Yes, today, I gained you, I secured the highest kind of friendship

with you. I will remember the vows we just took and adore you forever sincerely with all

my heart.

After the seventh step, the two become man and wife.

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Bibliography

http://www.ourwedding.in/marwariweddingtraditions.php

http://www.ourwedding.in/muslimweddingtraditions.php

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hindu_wedding

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Islamic_marital_practices

http://weddingsutra.com/blog/index.php/tag/indian-wedding/

http://www.maharaniweddings.com/category/indian-wedding-ideas/

http://www.royalweddingindia.com/

http://www.eliteweddingplanner.in/

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