Proclaiming Fundamental Biblical Doctrines

Without Worldly Compromise

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own

husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.

Colossians 3:18

Issue 20 1st Quarter CY-2012

A Publication of Faithful Steward Ministries

And

Faithful Steward Ministries Women’s Outreach

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FSM and FSMWO stands firm on the fundamental

doctrines of the Word of God. We believe all who

presents themselves as servants of the Lord should

be READY AND ABLE to declare unto all who ask

the foundational beliefs, principles or tenants of

their faith (1 Peter 3:15)

IN THIS ISSUE

The Greatest Gift of All Pg. 3 Ministry Statement of Faith Pg. 3 The Apologist Staff Pg. 4 Mission Statement

Pg. 4 Service we do and do not provide Pg. 5 From the Director

Pg. 6-9 Are you ready for marriage? Pg. 9-11 Husbands; Here is how to have a great wife

Pg. 12-14 How to Disciple your wife Pg. 14-15 FSMWO

Pg. 16 From Our Readership Pg. 17-18 Pastors Page Pg. 18 Devotional

Pg. 19 The Persecuted Church Pg. 20-22 Intercessory Prayer

Pg. 23 Contact Page

It is with sadness that we

must report that Lucretia

Payne is leaving the position

of Director of FSM Women’s

Outreach. Lu has been a

great help to this organiza-

tion the past 3 years. Due to

personal issues and full time work and being a

mom to two teens; Lu felt she could not devote

the time needed to grow the Ministry. She will be

missed and remain in our prayers.

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THE APOLOGIST Editor in Chief: The Holy Spirit Director: Mike Poirier

Women’s Outreach-Director: ___________________________?

Secretary/Treasurer: Mrs. Pam Warren

Office Support: Naida Poirier Advisors: Bob Marquis- New Beginnings

Ministry; Pastor Steven Graham-

Pioneer Valley Baptist Chapel

Contributing Writers: Leslie St. Aubin

WHY NOT YOU???

MINISTRY STATEMENT OF FAITH THERE IS ONE TRUE GOD IN THE FORM OF THREE PERSONS

FATHER, SON AND HOLY SPIRIT

Co-equal in deity, power and sovereignty

Gen 1:1; Matt 3:16-18

THE BIBLE IS THE INSPIRED WORD OF GOD

Verbally inspired every word without exception by the Holy Spirit

Is 40:8; 2 Tim 3:16

SALVATION IS ETERNAL THROUGH FAITH IN CHRIST JESUS ALONE

It is only by the GRACE OF GOD that we are called to FAITH through the

conviction of the HOLY SPIRIT

Deut.10:14 - Deut.10:15; Matt.24:22 - Matt.24:24; Matt.24:31 - Matt.24:31; John.6:37 - John.6:39; Rom.8:28 - Rom.8:33; Rom.9:11 - Rom.9:13, 16; Ephe-

sians 2:8-9

THE HOLY SPIRIT INDWELLS ALL BORN AGAIN BELIEVERS

Gen 41:38; Rom 8:9-14

HEAVEN AND HELL ARE LITERAL (REAL) PLACES RESERVED FOR

ETERNITY FOR THE SAVED AND DAMNED

Deut 26:15; Matt 25:41

BELEIVERS ARE COMMANDED TO, AND OBLIGATED TO WITNESS/SHARE THE

GOSPEL

Is 6:1-8; Matt 28:18-20

THERE IS ONE CHURCH, WITH CHRIST AS THE HEAD, WITH BORN AGAIN BELIEV-

ERS AS THE BODY AND THE COMMAND TO FELLOWSHIP THEREIN

2 Chron 5: 1-6; Heb 10:25

BELIEVERS ARE COMMANDED TO SEPARATE FROM

ALL WORLDLY INFLUENCES

Ps 1:1; 2 Thess 3:6,14

PRAYER IS THE FOUNDATION OF OUR GROWTH IN FAITH

AND THE DUTY OF BELIEVERS ON BEHALF OF OTHERS

Is 55:6; Matt 7:7 - 1Sam 12:23; 1 Tim 2:1

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Service’s we do not provide:

• We do not send money at any time for any reason to inmates

or their families

• We do not send stamps into any institution

• We will provide a self addressed stamped envelope (only (1)

One per letter sent) to those inmates who are indigent and who’s

institution’s policy permits this. We require a letter from the Chap-

lain, Case Manager or other Facility staff on institutional letterhead

to do this.

• We do not send books to institutions (We can provide a list of

places to get a free Bible if requested)

• We do not forward mail for inmates

• We will accept inmate correspondence, art work and writings

but can not copy and return them

We are not a pen-pal hook up service; FSMWO is run by women for

women only they do not correspond with men.

SERVICES WE PROVIDE

• Direct Correspondence with those in bondage via email, let-

ters and telephone

• Bible Study Outlines on a variety of biblical topics

• Articles and Sermons on a variety of biblical topics

• Research and Answers to Bible questions and topics

• Quarterly Publication; The Apologist (email and postal to 36

states, nine foreign countries and our military in Iraq)

• Public education via speaking engagements and literature

designed to educate the public on reentry of ex-offenders

•Limited Aftercare services: we will attempt to help those being

released:

· find a local Bible believing and preaching church,

· locate employment resources,

· Locate Group/Therapy (AA, NA, SOTP) in the area

they plan on residing prior to release.

· Review and make recommendations to their re-

lease plan

· Provide direct support through a minimum of a

weekly meeting or phone call (depending on

where person resides) Note to the incarcerated

The mission of FSM is to “administer the Good News of

Christ to those in bondage". We minister to those re-

covering from additions, inmates and ex-mates, our

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From the Director

Marriage may seem like a strange subject for this ministry to tackle

but it stems from my experience while incarcerated.

You see there are very few real secrets in prison. Concrete and

steel do little to dampen sound traveling about. You would never

listen in intentionally (eavesdrop) but it was impossible not to over-

hear conversations and especially folks on the phone.

One would think that a man (or women) incarcerated would be

thrilled to have someone they could call. Someone they could

have a relationship with. But more often than not the what I could

not help but overhear was the anger, depression and frustration of

prison life being taken out on that so called “someone special” on

the outside. Many times it was from those calling themselves

“Christian”

The apparent mentality was that of the old caveman cartoons.

You may remember the ones of a caveman dragging a cavewom-

an by the hair. It was the, me Tarzan you Jane approach to a rela-

tionship. It was an approach that re-wrote Col 3:18 to read Wives

(girlfriends), be submissive to your husbands (boyfriends), cause their the boss!

Did you notice what was missing? What about the Lord? Should

He play a key role in all this? And what about the next verse of Co-

lossians Chapter 3 that reads: Husbands, love your wives, and

be not bitter against them.

But you don’t understand Mike she said this or did that. Well poor,

poor pitiful you. It’s not about you, it’s about Jesus and He is not

happy with your attitude dude. If you want a women to love and yes, obey you (biblically that is) you need to act like a responsible

Christian man. It is not rocket science (I’d be lost for sure) read the

Book, its all there for you.

We are making some assumptions here. Namely that your under-

stand God will never ordain nor bless a relationship that is not be-

tween believers (Deut 7:1-4, 2 Cor 6:13-15)

I am somewhat an expert on messing up relationships so when I

started dating Naida I figured I had better get it right. I read all

kinds of stuff on a biblical marriage (some great and some not so

good) in the next few pages I’d like to share 3 that made an im-

pact on me. I pray you find them useful too.

_ _ _ _ Mike

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Are You Ready for Marriage?

A.J. Kiesling, Crosswalk.com Contributing Writer Tuesday, June 10, 2008

So you want to tie the knot—great! Before you start scanning dating

profiles, make sure you’ve done the proper “housecleaning.”

It’s ironic that in our culture we prepare for everything but marriage. We

go away to college and study for four years to prepare for our chosen

career. A new driver in my state must have a learner’s permit for six months before obtaining a driver’s license. Stage actors rehearse for

months before the opening night. First-time parents have nine months

to prepare for the big debut in their own lives, often going to parenting

and birthing classes well in advance. Yet somehow we expect that

everything will just fall into place where love and marriage are con-

cerned.

Dr. Cara Whedbee, a psychologist I interviewed for my book Where

Have All the Good Men Gone?, has counseled many single people

who come to her asking “Why can’t I find a mate?” (You can reach her

at www.thepointsys.com). She told me one of the biggest mistakes

people make is rushing into relationships without making themselves

ready, or what I like to call “housecleaning.” Even Esther, the beautiful Jewess of biblical history who won the favor of a king and became

queen of Persia, had to undergo twelve months of “beauty prepara-

tions” before she was presented to King Xerxes—or, symbolically, made

ready for marriage. If we as singles take seriously the idea of entering

marriage someday, whether for the first time or in a remarriage, we

must also take seriously the process that will make us worthy lifelong companions.

Never Marrieds: Don’t Be a Jerry Maguire

When I asked Dr. Whedbee what is the most important advice she

would give to singles wanting to prepare themselves for marriage, she

reminded me that her answer would differ for never-married singles

versus divorced singles wanting to marry again. “For someone who has never been married, you need to figure out who you are first and what

you want,” she said. “You do this so that when you finally get married

it’s because you’re a whole person—you’re bringing two whole people

together. You have to complete yourself; you can’t be a Jerry Maguire,

saying ‘You complete me.’ Know who you are. Know what you like and

don’t like, what you need in a mate and what you definitely could do without. Know where you want to be in five years and how much older

a potential mate you are willing to look at, because love can come

from anywhere. Maybe you need to move, maybe you’ve exhausted

all the possibilities in your community and are ready to move some-

where else. Mature, whole people know who they are and what their

purpose is in life.”

This “knowing” may take time. Ask God to give you spiritual insight into

the areas of your life that you’ve been blinded to up till now.

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Consider asking a trustworthy friend what are your best—and worst—

traits. With their input, take an honest self-assessment. Are you a little

too selfish? Too demanding? Do you still expect everyone to please you, or have you matured to the point where pleasing others brings you

joy? “If you know who you are and the person you’re dating does not,

then you’re not on the same spiritual level and they’ll know it right off

the bat,” says Whedbee. “If you do know all this and are still having

issues, you’re probably finding men (or women) who don’t know who

they are yet.”

Divorced: Getting Over the Blame Game

For those who have lived through a divorce, Whedbee’s advice takes

a different—and perhaps more painful—tack: one of asking ourselves

the big question, “What went wrong?” Once we’ve honestly asked

ourselves that question, we must be willing to take ownership for our

part in the failed marriage. “Even if you think it was all his fault, or all her

fault, it still takes two to get married and it takes two to make a di-vorce,” says Whedbee. “It could be that you picked a wrong guy or it

could be that you choose cheaters. You need to figure out what

caused the disconnect, what happened there. Then you need time to

heal.”

She recommends talking with a good Christian counselor who can help you untangle your knotted romantic past, point out destructive patterns

in your life that you need to eradicate, and teach you coping skills. “I

always tell people they need to develop that muscle, figure out what

went wrong the first time, and fix that before you start looking for some-

body else.”

Most often it’s wise to wait and be single for a while before leaping back into the dating fray. The passage of a year or two will give you

time to work through the issues cited above, and you’ll be in a better

position to look for love again. Go easy at first, and get to know other

singles as friends before leaping into love. Even if someone sweeps you

off your feet, a good friendship foundation will put solid footing under

your relationship.

For those divorced men and women who are also parents, Whedbee

cautions against dragging your kids into the picture too soon: “Once

you feel ready to start looking around, you have to be really careful

involving the people you date in your kids’ lives. Kids are a lot more

aware than their parents think they are. Be open with them so you’re

not sneaking around or lying to them. Until you’re really comfortable with a guy or girl and think they have potential, don’t introduce them

to your kids. That’s the hardest part about dating again after you’ve

been married.”

Preach It!

What can we do as Christians to promote marriage in an anti-marriage

society? No. 1, we have to be preaching it, says Whedbee. We need to

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talk about why the Bible says to leave your father and mother and

cleave to your mate, why the Bible calls marriage sacred and a union

between one man and one woman. “Whenever my husband and I had issues we had to solve them ourselves,” she says. “That’s the only

way to cleave. The problem is that many people never really leave

[their parents], and so how then can they cleave?”

We cannot shy away from the difficult topics—adultery, premarital sex,

living together out of wedlock—just because our society says these are part of the new “norm.” People are hungry for something different be-

cause what our society has offered them doesn’t work. “They’re hun-

gry, so preach it,” says Whedbee. “Talk about it with other singles.”

If you’re in a position of leadership within a singles ministry, make sure

it’s a place where men and women both can feel comfortable—not a

meat market. Girls shouldn’t feel like they’re being ogled or that guys are hitting on them the first time they walk through the door. Help peo-

ple to be who God called them to be.

Finally, bring the fun back to church. “Today people would rather go to

a bar to seek excitement than go to church,” says Whedbee. “The fun

place to be should be your church. Sponsor creative social functions like road trips and citywide dances. I’ve seen it work, with a lot of

[single] friends getting together from it. If that’s your focus—to get to-

gether as friends and just have fun—then if something happens it’s ic-

ing on the cake.”

In the Fullness of Time …

One of my favorite lines from a movie comes from Romancing the

Stone, starring Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner. In it, protagonist

Joan Wilder, a romance novelist, talks to her literary agent on the

phone about finishing her latest book. The emotion of the story has

brought her to tears. Hearing her sobbing through the line, the agent

teases her, calling Joan a hopeless romantic. “No,” she counters, “hopeful. I’m a hopeful romantic.”

The first time I heard that line it sank deep into my spirit, and somehow it

has stayed with me across the years. It’s like seeing the glass half-empty

or half-full. Which one are you? A hopeless romantic, frustrated by years

of singleness stretching across the canvas of your life, or a hopeful ro-

mantic, living your life to the fullest, yet seasoning every day with a dose of expectation?

In the past year or two God has brought one special phrase from

Scripture into sharp focus in my life, again and again. The phrase

I’m talking about is that innocuous passage we read in the more

narrative parts of the Bible: “In the fullness of time…” I am not a pa-

tient person. It’s something I’ve struggled with my whole life. But

one thing God keeps doing to nudge me closer to patient is remind

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me of His always-just-in-time calendar of events. I look back over

the course of my life and marvel at how often something I prayed

for, yearned for, waited for, cried for finally came to fruition—but

not a moment too soon. Why did You take so long, God! we la-

ment, railing against the heavens like Scarlett O’Hara in the radish

garden. But if we’re honest we’ll probably see that God’s actions in

our lives, and the lives of those we love, occurred just in the nick of

time. Just at the right time. In the fullness of time.

The phrase reminds me of a woman carrying a child. Happy to be

pregnant, she grows weary by degrees as the months of pregnan-

cy draw on, but always before her is the expectation of her baby—

the culmination of her hopes in the fullness of time. In a similar way,

God places just the right person in our lives at just the right time.

Maybe your life is not ready for a spouse at the moment. Perhaps

you have quite a bit of “housecleaning” to do before He can bring

a special man or woman into your life. Start praying and moving in

that direction.

On the other hand, remember that a single day can change the

entire course of your life. You may wake up tomorrow and see a

face you’ve never seen before—and in that face you might meet

a person who changes your life forever. You may be closer to that

“fullness of time” than you think!

Copyright © 2008 by A.J. Kiesling. Excerpted from Where Have All

the Good Men Gone? Why So Many Christian Women Are Remain-

ing Single. Harvest House, March 2008.

Husbands: Here's How to Have a

Great Wife

Andrew Tallman, “The Andrew Tallman Show,”

KPXQ-Phoenix, Monday, November 26, 2007

“He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and

obtains favor from the Lord,” and he who nour-

ishes a wife preserves a good thing and main-

tains the favor of the Lord.

God allowed you to find your wife because He believed you would

take good care of His precious daughter. This is why you obtain the dual blessings of having her and pleasing Him. But what happens when

you don’t take good care of your wife? A man who neglects his wife

makes her miserable and then she makes him miserable. As the saying

goes, “When mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.” But she isn’t the

only unhappy one. I believe you also anger God by betraying His confi-

dence in trusting you with her. After all, what father is happy when his

son-in-law fails to keep his darling content?

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I’ve been to many weddings, and I have yet to see a woman stand at

the altar promising to “love, honor, and obey so long as you both shall

live” while thinking to herself, “I despise this man, and I expect this mar-riage to make me miserable.” Not likely. She stands there with hope,

anticipation, love, admiration, and the expectation of great joy in her

heart. Unfortunately, if you fail to meet her needs and fulfill her hopes,

she will not stay that way. The best way to ruin a good woman is to

marry her and then fail to give her what she expected to receive.

Oh, sure, perhaps she exerts a tremendous effort and manages to stay

sweet and wonderful in spite of you neglecting her. Even the Bible

teaches her to love you into being a better man. But to expect or de-

mand this from her is naively optimistic and, quite frankly, unfair. There is

a much better way: the Biblical way.

When we quote Ephesians 5, men often emphasize the wife’s duty to submit. Okay, fine. But the husband’s duty is to love his wife as Christ

loved the Church, His Bride. In thinking about the relationship between

Christ and the Church, who has the greater challenge? Who does

more? Who is primarily responsible for the ultimate success of the rela-

tionship? Your obligation to represent the love of Jesus in your marriage

is a monumentally greater task than your wife’s obligation to represent

the submission of the Church.

So, what does it take to have a great wife? Simple. Be a great lord. And

what does it take to be a great lord? Equally simple. Know the needs

and desires of your wife and meet them. If you don’t, she will become

just the sort of wife you don’t want: nagging, withholding, bitter, and

frustrated. God gave you a beautiful flower. He does not expect a dead thorn bush in return. You’d have done better to remain single

than to so ruin the beautiful human rose He entrusted to you.

That’s the simple part. It may be unpleasant to ponder, but it’s simple.

Your job is to nurture, cherish, love, honor, serve, provide for, lead, im-

press, and protect your wife. And if you never stop doing this, the

chance that she will be a great wife is very good.

Yes, she retains free will and may fail on her part, but, when you do your

part, it becomes much easier for her to do hers.

So how is this to be accomplished? This is where things get dicey.

Willard Harley wrote a very helpful book called “His Needs, Her Needs,”

in which he outlines the top needs of women. They include affection, conversation, honesty and openness, financial support, and family

commitment. This is all true. Gary Chapman wrote another helpful book

called “The Five Love Languages,” in which he talks about giving love

through gifts, quality time, words of encouragement, physical touch,

and acts of service. This is also true. Gary Smalley has written books.

James Dobson has written books. Ellen Kreidman has written books. And all the books in the world are helpful and at the same time not.

Here’s why.

Women aren’t a formula.

Every woman is different. Every woman is complex. Every woman is

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mysterious. And just about the worst thing you can do is think that she

can be solved like some math equation. Men, by contrast, are not all

that complex. This is why men and women don’t understand each oth-er. Women often refuse to believe men are so simple. Men often can’t

grasp that women are so complicated.

Yet God is represented in both of these. He is at once both absurdly

simple and astoundingly complex. He is straightforward and mysterious.

In other words, God made it so that women could learn about Him by understanding men and that men could learn about Him by under-

standing women. That’s why marriage is such a rich theological gift.

And your part, husbands, is the harder one. Though the task is simple (to

make her feel loved and precious beyond comparison), the method is

not simple. Although I can confidently tell her what to do in general to

make you happy (see my previous article), I cannot tell you the same

about your wife. You have to figure that out for yourself, and, even if you figure her out today, it may be a new puzzle tomorrow or the next

day.

That’s okay. That’s one side of God’s nature you’re experiencing. If it

frustrates you, you’re really just admitting you’re frustrated with God. But

if you take it as the greatest challenge with the neatest reward, then

you’ve suddenly discovered something far more interesting than fanta-sy football ever can be.

But if I can’t give you a formula, why did I bother writing this? Because if

I can merely get you to recognize the nature of the challenge and stop

thinking that there is a four-step plan you can follow to nurture a great

wife, I’ve already helped you immensely.

Let me conclude with a personal example. Most women like surprises.

My wife hates them. Most women like to be given sweets such as choc-

olate. My wife likes it once but then gets angry because she worries it

will make her fat. Most women like to be given lavish gifts that show

their value. My wife considers that a waste of our carefully managed

budget. Most women like to celebrate anniversaries. My wife couldn’t care less. So what do I do?

Well, I could ignore everything I know about her by surprising her with

an expensive chocolate extravaganza on our anniversary. Then I could

pride myself for having followed a set of rules that would apply for most

women as I sit back to enjoy the fruits of my stupidity. Or I could let her

purchase season 10 of Little House on the Prairie on DVD for herself at Target on sale two months before our anniversary. Guess which one I

did? And she was quite satisfied with that. We must give our wives what

they truly want, not what we think they want … just like God.

So, what’s the lesson? Learn what YOUR wife needs from you to feel

loved, and then give it to her. Pay attention. Really pay attention. Try some experiments, and see how it turns out. If you find something that

works, try it some more. Never stop trying to impress her with the things

you will do to make her feel loved. But also never forget that she’s a

woman, not a formula…just like God.

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How to Disciple Your Wife

Dr. John Barnett, Discover the Book; Thursday,

November 15, 2007

One gifted author has identified 25 ways to be a

husband discipling his wife:

A husband discipling his wife includes his wife in

envisioning the future.

A husband discipling his wife accepts spiritual responsibility for his

family.

A husband discipling his wife is willing to say "I'm sorry" and "forgive

me" to his family.

A husband discipling his wife discusses household responsibilities

with his wife and makes sure these are fairly distributed.

A husband discipling his wife seeks the consultation of his wife on

all major financial decisions.

A husband discipling his wife follows through with commitments he

has made to his wife.

A husband discipling his wife anticipates the different states his

marriage will pass through.

A husband discipling his wife, likewise, anticipates the stages his

children will pass through.

A husband discipling his wife frequently tells his wife what he likes

about her.

A husband discipling his wife provides financially for his family's

basic living expenses.

A husband discipling his wife deals with distractions so that he can

talk with his wife and family.

A husband discipling his wife prays with his wife on a regular basis.

A husband discipling his wife initiates meaningful family traditions.

A husband discipling his wife initiates fun outings for the family on a

monthly basis, or even more often.

A husband discipling his wife takes the time to gibe his children

practical instruction about life, which in turn gibes them confi-

dence with their peers.

A husband discipling his wife goes over the upcoming week with

his wife to clarify their schedule and anticipate any pressure

points.

A husband discipling his wife keeps the family out of debt.

A husband discipling his wife lets his children into the interior of his

life.

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A husband discipling his wife makes sure he and his wife have

drawn up a will and arranged a well-conceived a plan for

their children in case of death.

A husband discipling his wife lets his children into the interior of his

life.

A husband discipling his wife praises his wife often in public.

A husband discipling his wife explains sex to each child in a way

that gives him or her a wholesome perspective.

A husband discipling his wife encourages his wife to grow as an

individual.

A husband discipling his wife takes the lead in establishing wit his

wife clear and will-reasoned convictions.

A husband discipling his wife joins a small group of men who are

dedicated to improvising their skills as husbands and fathers.

A husband discipling his wife provides time for his wife to pursue

personal interests.

How Are Husbands to Disciple Their Wives?

First we need to consider what every wife needs to succeed:

Companionship: Proverbs 31:11 The heart of her husband doth safely

trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.

Security: Proverbs 31:12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of

her life.

Significance: Proverbs 31:10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her

price is far above rubies.

Emotional Responsiveness: Proverbs 31:28 Her children arise up, and call

her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.

Second, we as husbands need to provide for our wife what she desper-

ately wants to know about us:

What we look to as we define our identity, How very deep is our insecurity,

How we measure our success by our performance.

Then our wife can understand that we need them to help us succeed:

A husband needs to feel his wife's admiration,

A husband needs to feel his wife's support,

A husband needs to feel that his wife supports him in his work,

A husband needs to feel his wife's support for him in public,

A husband needs to feel his wife's support through all the sea-

sons of life.

Common Christian Marriage Headaches

Without a growing marriage of shared life, following Christ's Word

together most marriages end up with these common Christian mar-

riage headaches:

14

An unbiblical husband with irresponsible headship (This hus-

band is nothing but a little boy in search of a mommy, and

he seems to have found one in his wife. He is thoroughly

self-centered, but manages to appear to others as a loving

an devoted husband.);

An unbiblical husband with an emotionally detached headship

(This man is one of the most stable and even-tempered

men in his community. He has been asked to serve on the

boards of numerous organizations because of his orga-

nized mind and methodical way of making decisions. He is

about as detached and emotionally unavailable as a fa-

ther can get.);

An unbiblical husband with a dictatorial headship (His idea of

being "head of the household" means that nothing hap-

pens without his approval. Whenever his wife dares to

question his authority or decisions, he resorts to intimidation

tactics and then goes into a blind rage.);

An unbiblical husband with a workaholic headship; (This man

never leaves work mentally or emotionally. He lives under

pressure and sprays his family with his frustrations);

An unbiblical husband with a spiritually apathetic headship

(This husband is a believer and a church attendee. But be-

yond that he's unresponsive to spiritual thing he never exer-

cises spiritual leadership in this home. And that void blocks

an intimacy his wife yearns for.)

Click here (Or write for a copy) of the study “The Seven Deepest

Needs of Your Wife”

Women’s Outreach

In my 50 years of life I’ve had the unfortunate experience of divorce; but also the redeeming and refining experience of a first marriage as

an unbeliever and a second marriage as a believer. The wisdom re-

vealed through these two experiences is something that God has slowly

revealed to me but not after much heartache. The stark difference in

the two experiences has one searching long and hard through scrip-

ture for evidence of the reality of the two different unions; why one

failed and one flourishes; if God can bless a second marriage when a first failed by worldly law and standards and where our part in each

experience plays.

I was with my first husband from age 15, married at 18 and divorced at

35. Twenty years of my life was centered around this relationship and

as sad as it is, I honestly cannot tell you the depth of my first husband’s

15

belief (if any) or his commitment to Jesus Christ. We were married in his

mother’s church more as a venue than a statement of placing our trust

in Christ as the central glue to our relationship. We never attended church other than to have our children christened, again to appease

family but not because of a deep, and abiding expression of faith. I

could go on and on about how Christ played a non-existent role in our

life but I think you get the picture.

On the other hand, my second marriage, which occurred 13 months

after my commitment to Christ (after twelve years of the desert of sin-

gleness) was based solely on our mutual commitment to Christ first and

to one another second? We have fought and battled and rallied to-gether and worked toward where we are today. Though I do not un-

derstand this marriage fully, I do know the security I feel in my second

marriage far outshines anything I had in my first even though I had

three years of courtship in the first and 17 years of marriage compared

to our fresh but strong (almost) four years of this current marriage which

grows stronger each day.

We have not a resolve to preserve this marriage but a binding in this

marriage that is anointed and appointed by the One who brings to-

gether the deep believers in a Holy union; truly a Holy matrimony for His purposes and not ours. We have enjoyed the union of our children as

an expanded family, a growth in our own personal faith and a newness

of our experience of love as seen through Christ’s eyes.

No longer do we love because of “feelings” or “emotions” as is warned

against in Jeremiah 17:9 “The heart is deceitful above all things and

beyond cure. Who can understand it?” But rather by Jesus’ own words, “….and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two but

one….” (Mark 10:8) that God joins us into one that no man should sepa-

rate.

I cannot go back to my first marriage, based on my deceitful heart that

knew not what it needed nor wanted; but I can honor this marriage

where I have allowed God to join two into one. I can infuse this mar-riage with God’s own heart and always look to see my spouse as God

sees Him. I can be reminded that God is my source of love for my hus-

band as seen in 1 John 4:19 “We love him, because he first loved us.”

Finally I can be reminded, through sound biblical teaching, through

God inspired definitions of love just how my marriage should be reflect-

ed to the world. I Cor 13:4-7 “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not

envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always pro-

tects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”

Leslie St.Aubin

Spirit House Ministries

Georgetown, TX

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Manhood

The world needs men

Who can not be bought;

Whose word is their bond;

Who put character above wealth;

Who are larger than their vocations;

Who do not hesitate to take chances;

Who will not loose their identity in a crowd; Who

will be as honest in small things as in great things;

Whose ambitions are not confined to their own

selfish desires;

Who will not say they do it “because everyone

else does it; “

Who are true to their friends through god report

and evil report, in adversity as well as in prosperity;

Who do not believe that shrewdness and cunning

are the best qualities for winning success;

Who are not ashamed to stand for truth when it is

unpopular;

Who say “no” with emphasis even though the rest

of the world says “yes”

God, make me this man

Leonard Wagner

Want to contribute to The Apologist? Send us your artwork,

article or poem (LIKE THIS ONE WAS), but please keep it brief.

17

Pastor’s Page

Phil Newton

SANCTIFICATION: A NEW FAMILY (Part 1) COLOSSIANS 3:18-19 DECEMBER 12, 1999

Attitudes toward marriage in our day are growing more and more cyni-

cal. One literary figure wrote, "Every man plays the fool once in his life,

but to marry is playing the fool all of one's life." Evidently this man had a

bad experience with marriage! Even children seem to be losing the

concept of beauty in marriage. One little girl had been to see Cinderel-la. She was explaining the movie to an adult friend who told the little

girl, "I know what happens at the end." "What?" she asked. "Cinderella

and the prince live happily ever after." At which the young thinker re-

plied, "Oh no, they didn't. They got married!" [Kent Hughes, The Suprem-

acy of Christ,115-116]. With these kinds of ideas unfortunately prevalent

concerning marriage, it is important that Christians recapture the bibli-

cal pattern for marriage.

Marriage contains mystery. That was Paul's assertion as he described

marriage to the Ephesians: "This mystery is great; but I am speaking with

reference to Christ and the church." He had quoted Genesis 2:24, that

explains the marital union and the mystery of the husband and wife

becoming one flesh. That was a great mystery! But the greater mystery

is what it represents: Christ and the Church. As Paul unfolds the great mystery of marriage, he infers that it was planned in the purpose of

God to be a visible testimony of the relationship between Christ and his

bride, the Church. The patriarchs did not understand the mystery that

was yet to unfold. Nor did the others who followed, until Christ, in the

fullness of redeeming love, called his bride out of the world and unto

himself. Paul's assertion is that when God designed marriage in the first place, he had in mind Christ and the Church.

If this is so, then the commands and order related to marriage are not

cultural accommodations that have no bearing on our society. Instead,

the portrait of marriage set forth in the New Testament offers the time-

less model for every Christian marriage. How can our marriages bear

testimony to Christ and the Church?

I. Sanctification and marriage

Keep in mind that Paul is continuing on the subject of sanctification. He

is not moving to an unrelated area, but demonstrates in our text that

the work of sanctification affects every relationship of life, especially the

most intimate relationships. After speaking of husband and wife, Paul addresses children and parents, and then follows by explaining the

duties of slaves and masters. For now, our attention will be upon hus-

bands and wives.

I want us to see the tie-in to sanctification before we look at the actual

duties commanded. As we have noticed in the past several studies, the

Apostle is explaining that sanctification involves not only a divine work taking place by the Holy Spirit, but the activity of the Christian as well.

18

The believer does not profess faith in Christ then wait to be "carried to

heaven on flowery beds of ease." He is to take action in his spiritual life.

There are some things that he must die to, especially the sins that are ensnaring for the believer. He must lay aside the attitudes and practic-

es of his unregenerate life. But he must also put on the graces that mir-

ror those of Christ.

Finally, Paul tells believers, "Whatever you do in word or deed, do all in

the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Fa-ther." It is in the framework of the "whatever you do in word or deed,"

that the commands for family life are set forth. Peter does the very

same thing in the second and third chapters of I Peter. There he ad-

dresses the subject of sanctification, with the marriage relationship be-

ing right in the center of his instructions on sanctified living.

Let me make a few observations. First, the progress of our sanctification may meet its severest tests in the home. It is not that the home is a bad

place! Rather, typically in the home we let down our guard, take off

the masks, and show the real self. In the church and even in the world,

we can cover-up quite easily. But it is harder to do in the home. So

there may be some who are well thought of in a work setting, but are

difficult to live with in the home. We are reminded that our sanctifica-

tion must include our home lives. As one writer expressed it, "Christian thinking has not become really Christian until it operates in our daily

practice with those nearest to us" [Moulton, quoted by C. Vaughan, A

Study Guide Commentary, 104].

Second, while our spiritual progress may be tested in the home, it can

also be strengthened and boosted by our family life as family members

take seriously the matter of sanctification. When believers are seeking

to grow together in Christ as husbands and wives, parents and children,

then they fortify themselves against the assaults of the world upon their

faith. The home becomes the oasis in the desert of spiritual dryness. It

serves to refresh and recharge the believing husband, wife, or child to

face whatever comes their way.

Third, sanctification does involve duty toward others. We cannot get

away from this. We may try to somehow live in a vacuum, unaffected

by everyone else around us, but that is not real life. Just as the church is

critical in the sanctification of the individual Christian, the family pro-

vides the most basic scene for exercising the details of spiritual progress.

For even in the home, we will find those things to which we must die as

well as those graces that we must put on. I do not think we do an injus-tice by using the word "duty" at this point. For as we mature spiritually,

what may have been a duty in which we labored, becomes a delight

and pleasure as we continue to develop into new men and women in

Christ. Copyright South Woods Baptist Church. Website:

www.southwoodsbc.org. Used by permission as granted on web site.

Questions, comments, and suggestions about our site can be sent here.

Write us, email us or follow the link http://www.southwoodsbc.org/sermons/colossians_03.18-19.php

to the rest of the article.

19

Persecuted Church http://www.persecution.com Voice of the Martyrs

Location: Iran (Islamic Republic of) Arrested: October 2009 Days Imprisoned: 889

Youcef Nadarkhani, a 34-year-old pastor from Rasht, about 750 miles northwest of Tehran, was arrested in October 2009 after he protested a government policy that re-quired children, including his 8- and 9-year-

old sons, to study the Quran in school. Youcef told school officials that the Iranian constitution allows for freedom of religious prac-tice. As a result of his protest, secret police called him before a political tribunal and arrested him for protesting. The charges were later amended to apostasy and evangelism of Muslims. Youcef was tried on Sept. 21–22, 2010 by the 1st Court of the Revolution-ary Tribunal and sentenced to death on Nov. 13 for apostasy. The pastor is imprisoned in Lankan prison, where authorities have used various methods, including medication, to convert him back to Islam. After Youcef refused to convert to Islam, his wife was arrested, put on trial without an attorney and sentenced to life in prison. She was later released after an attorney appealed her sentence. The Nadarkhanis’ children were cared for by a relative while they were both in prison. Youcef Again Pressured to Recant VOM contacts say the chief justice in Gilan province told Youcef's lawyers last week (Jan. 16, 2012) that if Youcef repents, he will be released. Youcef told his attorneys repenting means leaving Chris-tianity to return to Islam. He said it was impossible for him to "return" to Islam, since he was never Muslim. Our contacts write, "Because of your prayers and concerns, the regime is afraid to issue a negative verdict, and yet they do not want to release him..." Please continue to surround Youcef with your prayers. Pray that the chief justice will have a change of heart.

20

INTERCESSORY PRAYER Please join us in praying for:

Also Bi- weekly updates online at

On our Web site or Face Book page

Our President, and legislature, the courts

Christians to not be ashamed and get busy doing God’s work

God’s continuing providence for America as we are in a period of

moral and ethical decay that is unprecedented in modern times

Pray for our Armed Forces everywhere

Our youth that they walk in the light of the Lord

Salvation for lost family, friends and those who oppose us

Pray for health issues of many in my local church and community, in

our intercessory prayer meeting (wed night 6:30 EST) we have many

requests; God knows and hears them all. If you have a special one

send it to us and we will pray for it there too.

Missions and Missionary Friends

Anthony Kwadwo Okyere a young evangelist in Ghana West Africa

The Harmon’s missionaries in Manati, Puerto Rico for 18 years; In their

quest to start a new work in San Juan.

Hannah Overton - A mother wrongly imprisoned

Helen Speers, missionary Texas at Mercy Ships

Lakeshore Baptist Church in Lakeshore, Mississippi; they have for

over 6 years been on the forefront of the rebuilding of Hancock

County MS after hurricane Katrina. Their needs are still

The Messer's (all 8 of them) missionaries to Cote d'Ivoire (Ivory

Coast) Africa

The Rivera’s, Ben and Becky with Campus Crusades for Christ

Rev Varon and his family in the Philippines

The Tabb's, Dan and Amy as they minister to youth in Ireland

Wells of Salvation - African Mission, East Otis, MA Bringing fresh wa-

ter and the Gospel to Africa

Pray these and the many others serving God in the mission fields will

get the financial & prayer support they need

21

Our fellow ministries serving the incarcerated:

Amazing Grace Ministries, Woburn, MA

Bethany Fellowship International, Bloomington MN

Bluegrass Gospel Sing and Jam, Belchertown, MA

Christian Pen-Pals, Statesville, NC

Freedom through Christ Ministries, Ft Lauderdale FL

Freedom Ministries, Elizabethtown KY

J.A.R. Ministries, Bay Saint Louis, MS

Jimmy Huff Ministries, Colorado City TX

The Least of These Prison Ministries, Glouster City, NJ

Meet Her at The Gate Ministry

Mbeya Prison Ministry, Mbeya Tanzania

New Beginnings, Malden MA

New England Prison Ministries, Lowell MA

Robin's Song Inc. ,Big Spring Texas

Set Free Ministries, Easton MA

So Blessed Ministry, Bakersfield CA

Spirit House Ministries (For Women) Georgetown, TX

The Master's Female Prison Ministry, Decatur, AL

True Freedom Outreach New Zealand, Warkworth New Zealand

Reaching out to the incarcerated in Egypt

Wells of Hope Prison Ministry, Uganda

Wings of Faith Missions, Tanuku India

The incarcerated everywhere for

Health issues

Financial needs

Upcoming court cases

Renewed family relationships

Spiritual Growth

Those they left behind at home

Prison Churches: Their leadership and the countless Christian volun-

teers serving the Lord in prisons; that they do so never compromis-

ing the Word of God.

22

NEVER FORGET THOSE SERVING OUR MILITARY

LT Patrick Joyner and family, Navy Chaplain to USMC -The Joyner

family includes seven children, William – 17 yrs., Audrey – 15 yrs.,

Jordan – 15 yrs., Maggie – 12 yrs., Noah - 10 yrs., Laurel Anna – 6 yrs.,

and Mary M’Cheyne – 4 yrs.

The Veterans Coalition Ministries of Faith

Military Ministry - Serving military members, veterans, and families

across the globe

Christian Military Fellowship (CMF) supports United States military

personnel and their families, worldwide

Special Requests form you our friends:

Wells of Hope Academy in Uganda since last Dec they have pur-

chased land some 20 miles outside Kampala. They continue to

need prays and support as they have unfinished buildings and lack

of water and food.

Pioneer Valley Baptist Chapel our home church, pray all goes well

as they host the ARBCA General Assembly.

The Tabb’s missionaries to Ireland please can you pray for...

Speedy recovery from USA trip - were both exhausted.

Deeper relationships with families as result of trip.

New supporters and more contributions as result of trip.

We are able to slow down bit more n enjoy the journey between us

as well as others

For this Ministry

Financial Support to continue our work

Help from mature men in Christ to correspond with men on the in-

side

That God will put it on the heart of a women to be the new director

of FSMWO.

We will continue to service God for His Glory alone

That we’d hear from more of the 250 inmates and ex-mates who

get this Publication

Please contact us for more information about any of

the ministries listed.

23

CONTACT US ______Yes, I will partner in prayer for the needs listed this month

______Yes, I will pray for Wisdom and financial blessing for this minis-

try

______ Yes, I will contribute to this ministry $________________

Please note we are not a recognized non-profit tax exempt organi-

zation. Your contributions may not be tax deductible.

Please Send information on:

• ______Available Study Outlines

• ______Available Articles and Sermons

•______Information on (Specify Topic)

•______ Available lecture and forum topics

Other :__________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________________

** Note those requesting aftercare assistance should make

every effort to contact us at least 6 moths prior to expected

date of release and preferably a year prior. We need that

time to review your release plan and help facilitate your

transition.

Send Requests to:

Faithful Steward Ministries

Faithful Steward Ministries Women’s Outreach

PO Box 424 Chicopee, MA 01021-0424

Email’s: directorfsm@officeliveusers.com

OUR WEB SITE

http://faithfulstewardministries.web.officelive.com

ON FACEBOOK

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Faithful-Steward-Ministries

-and-FSM-Women's-Outreach/178166535561150

Member in good standing International Network of Prison Ministries:

http://prisonministry.net/fsms

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