Fort

y years of being the student voice

Volume XXXX, Issue 6

Friday, October 15, 2010

15th Street News

Meet...Which proffessor wants to go to Paris?

Check out the Spotlight to find out... Page 3

Gaga challengedLady Gaga gets challenged to a singing dual with a $1 million prize.... page 2

Some of the warning signs most victims have in common:

- Being afraid of their partner- Tries to please the partner too much- Starts using drugs/alcohol- Marks and bruises with excuses- Dressed to hide marks and bruises- Restricted from friends and family- Won’t go out without partner- Need permission to spend money- Has to call in frequently when out- Anxious to get home

By: Brittany McDanielNews Editor

By: Brittany McDanielNews Editor

“Yes, I think it should be… for the health of all students at [RSC]” –Leahanne Frazier,

elementary education major

“It needs to be a smoke free campus… if they need to smoke, they can go to the car and smoke.” –Andrew Hill, nursing major

“Yes, I do, because second-hand smoke is deadlier.” –Miles Gracia, engineering major

“No. Students should have a choice whether they smoke or not, and most of

the faculty smoke.” –Terra Carpenter, sign language major

As part of a campus wide effort to raise awareness of domestic abuse, RSC has offered seminars and exhibits. Thursday, Oct. 7, Dr. Richard Wedemeyer, professor of social sciences, spoke about recognizing signs of abuse.

The lecture covered some of the warning signs victims have in common.

“Approximately 85 homicides were committed as a domestic event in Oklahoma,” Wedemyer said. He went on to say domestic violence is not about race, sex or economic status, but rather occurs across a wide spectrum of people. The slide show flipped to a shot of Barbados born R&B singer, Rihanna. One image showed

her posing on the red carpet. The other showed her face swollen and covered in bruises. These bruises were received during an incident of domestic violence at the hands of ex-boyfriend, Chris Brown. “Do you think that was the first time that happened?” Wedemeyer asked.

Abusers have certain behaviors that can tip off friends and family of possible abuse.

• Hot temper• Forces Sex• Name calling, humiliating criticizing,

often times in public• Blaming• Extreme jealousy and suspicion• Constant checking up/calling/

interrogatingWedemeyer described the cycle of abuse

as a predictable one. “Tension builds because the abuser is not getting what he wants,” Wedemeyer said. This tension then builds into abuse, and then the abuser is remorseful for his actions. The victim forgives, and the cycle repeats. Wedemeyer explained, “It happens again, only next time, it’s worse. The victim feels guilt and shame [because] they believe they caused it. The longer it goes on, the harder it gets to leave.”

There are things you can do to help a victim of domestic violence. Invite him/her to talk when they are alone, and let them know you are concerned for their well-being. Offer to listen, and be supportive.

There are also things not to do. Don’t wait for the victim to ask for support, pressure them to leave, or encourage revenge against the perpetrator. You can only offer support. “Ultimately a person should be respected for their choices and decisions. If a person is not

ready to make a change, there is little you or I could do. But support and the potential for a way out can eventually prove very powerful,” Wedemeyer said.

Director of Special Services and Student Outreach, Dr. Joanne Stafford, commented during the beginning of the lecture on what she hopes students would get from the lectures. “Domestic violence is everywhere…

our theme this month is to make a difference,” Stafford said. Recognizing the signs of abuse is a start to being a part of that difference. Wedemeyer said the most important way to help an abuse victim is to “offer a non-judgmental, supportive tone and be a safe person with whom to talk about what’s going on.” (Photo by Danielle Finnegan)

College President Dr. Terry Britton described the newly adopted smoke free campus policy as “evolution.” Britton explained, “As you evolve, smoking becomes less and less socially acceptable.” Britton went on to say as the institution has a responsibility to “not only educate the mind, but hopefully, the body and spirit, too.”

The motion to make the institution a smoke-free campus was made and passed unanimously at the Sept. 30 board meeting. The board came to the decision that by Fall 2011, the campus would embrace a no smoking policy.

The current policy in place states that students may not smoke within 25 feet of building entrances. Eliminating smoking on campus altogether makes this policy easier to maintain.

Britton also pointed to the fact science can now testify to the dangers of smoking and secondhand smoke. Recent studies by researches indicate secondhand smoke is just a dangerous as actually smoking tobacco. This research suggests smoking is not just a personal health issue, but a public one as well.

According to a report in the August issue of American Journal of Respiratory and Critical Care Medicine even low levels of cigarette smoke put people at risk for lung cancer. WebMD recently published a story about the report, explaining that certain genes are “turned on” in smokers, but that these genes also turn on for individuals exposed to secondhand smoke. In the report, Dr. Ronald Crystal said, “no level of smoking, or exposure to secondhand smoke, is safe…the [coal mining] canary is chirping for low-level exposure patients, and screaming for active smokers.”

Researches from the University of Minnesota determined that “an estimated 15% of cigarette smoke gets inhaled by the smoker, and the remaining 85% lingers in the air for everyone to breathe.” Researches also attributed secondhand smoke as the third leading preventable cause of disability and early death in the U.S. One statistic in the report stated, “For every eight smokers who die from smoking, one innocent bystander dies from secondhand smoke.”

The National Institutes of Health reported that there are over 400,000 deaths in the U.S. each year from smoking-related illnesses. The group also reports that parents of teenagers who smoke are twice as likely to have their teen smoke than non-smoking households.

With less than a year of preparation time to switch over to a smoke free zone, there will be assistance provided to smokers. The campus plans to offer free smoking cessation classes, as well as classes throughout the year.

The classes will offer useful information and tips on how to quit smoking.

The decision to quit smoking is one that Britton faced over ten years ago. “I smoked until 1997, and I probably started when I was 17. It’s very difficult to quit, but I did it. There’s nothing easy about it bit I felt much better immediately after quitting,” Britton said.

The decision to make the institution smoke-free is stirring controversy. Emily Palmer, social science major, said, “I think [the policy] is fair. A lot of public places are going smoke-free so why not the school?”

William Johnson, business major, and Brittany Miller, graphic design major, expressed a different opinion. Johnson said, “People are going to do their own thing.” Miller added that despite the policy, people would “find a way to [smoke] if they want.”

When asked about possible backlash from students and faculty concerning the policy, Britton said, “I think people are pretty much psychologically ready for it. We need to do it, but we’ll do everything we can to help the smokers, too.” (Photos by Miranda Liming)

Smokers to be singed...Smoking debate settled

Warning signs of pain and abuseWhat to look for in abuse victims

“... the ability to identify feelings and wants, and to express them, may not ex-ist.” - AARDVARC An Abuse, Rape and Domestic Violence Aid and Resource

Collection

Page 2 October 15, 2010

Opinion

The 15th Street

NewsStory Ideas/Questions: 733-7400Fax: 733-7931Web site: http://www.rose.edu/commfriend/15street/index.asp

Facebook: 15th Streets News/Mass CommMail: 6420 SE 15th Street, Midwest City, OK, 73110

ALWAYS ONLINEhttp://15thstreetnews.com/

Editor in ChiefAdriana Valtinson (avaltinson@rose.edu)

Assistant EditorMiranda Liming Features EditorBryan TrudeNews EditorBrittany McDanielGraphic ArtistDanielle FinneganCirculation ManagerJacob SuddathTech SupportScottie Seger

VolunteersJonathon DyerLogan PierceTori BeechumRacheal MillerSecretarySharon Motley (smotley@rose.edu)Coordinator of Student PublicationsJulie Lesko-Bishop (jlesko-bishop@rose.edu)

Editorial

Letters to the Editor The 15th Street News wel-comes and encourages letters to the editor. Letters should be no more than 300 words and may be edited for clarity, length, or to avoid obscenity, libel and invasion of privacy but ideas will not be altered. Submissions must include the author’s name, ID number, and title. Anonymous letters will be read, but not printed. Letters may be hand deliv-ered to FA110; sent by mail; or e-mailed to the secretary, [smotley@rose.edu].Policies The 15th Street News is a designated public forum. Stu-dent editors have the authority

to make all content decisions without censorship or advance approval. Columns, commen-taries and letters to the editor are personal opinions of the writers and do not necessarily reflect the views of 15th Street News or other students, faculty or administrators of the college. The editorial staff writes editori-als. Publication of all materials is at the discretion of the editor. Anyone having a complaint may call the editor in chief, 733-7400, or the Student Pub-lications Board chairperson, Dr. Kent Lashley, 733-7490. 15th Street News, a stu-dent newspaper serving the RSC community, is published

weekly, except school holidays, on Fridays during the fall and spring semesters by the Office of Student Publications, 6420 SE 15, Midwest City, OK 73110. 15th Street News is a mem-ber of Oklahoma Collegiate Press Association, which has designated this paper top junior college newspaper six years, and Associated Collegiate Press, which has rated it All American 30 semesters. This publication is printed by Edmond Sun, Inc., issued by RSC and authorized by the Coordinator of Student Publica-tions. Cost to the state taxpayers is $301.81 for 4,000 copies per issue and $56.40 for spot color. This paper is recyclable.

RSC, in compliance with Titles VI and VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964, as amended, Executive Order 11246, as amended, Title IX of the Edu-cation Amendments of 1972, Americans with Disabilities Act of 1990 and other federal laws and regulations, does not discriminate on the basis of race, color, sex, age, national origin, religion, disability, sexual orien-tation or status as a veteran in any of its policies, practices or procedures. This includes, but is not limited to admissions, employment, financial aid and educational services.

Briefly Speaking

No smoke breaks for the wicked

Great Issues Lecture SeriesEvery year, RSC hosts a lecture series covering

a specific topic. The 2010-2011 Great Issues Lecture Series will examine the democratization of information. “Who has control? Who makes

decisions? How does access to information connect to power?” Professor Toni Castillo,

honors program coordinator, said. The lecture series will continue with a speech by Kristin

Hahn, professor of English, on Oct. 27. Lectures for the series are held on Wednesdays from

3:00-4:00 p.m. in the RSC Lecture Hall, and are open to all students and local community. For more information, contact Professor Castillo at

tcastillo@rose.edu.

Treadmill-athonThe second annual Treadmill-athon began Oct. 1. Participants must go to the Wellness Center

lobby to sign up. Those who complete 26.2 miles during the month of October will receive an “I

SURVIVED” T-shirt and those who complete 26.2 miles before Chris Leland, director of health and wellness activities, might win a grand prize.

Mammography ScreeningsThe Oklahoma Breast Care Center will provide digital screening mammograms Tuesday, Oct. 26 in the Wellness Center. Mammograms will

be offered to women 40 years and older who do not have any symptoms. The fee will include the radiologist’s reading, a second computer reading

and filing insurance; all insurances, except Global, are acceptable. To make an appointment,

call 755-2273 x110.

Fall BreakThere will be no classes Thursday Oct. 21 or

Friday Oct. 22. No day or evening classes will meet on Thursday, but Friday evening and

Saturday classes will meet as scheduled. The LRC will still be open all week and will observe

its regular weekend hours. The LRC will be open 7:30 a.m.-5:00 p.m. on Oct. 21-22.

Ramsey Lewis PerformanceComposer, pianist and jazz legend Ramsey Lewis

will be performing live at 8 p.m. Friday, Oct. 29 at the RSC Performing Arts Theatre. RSC faculty, students and staff can purchase $10

discount tickets at the cashier’s window in the administration building through Oct. 25. After that date, discount tickets may be purchased at

the Communications Center box office two hours before show time the day of the show. A valid Rose State I.D. must be shown to receive the

discount.

Fright NightFright Night will feature an evening of stories

or poems 7 p.m. Thursday, Oct. 28 in the reference area of the LRC. The event will last about an hour, refreshments will be provided,

and a drawing for an e-book reader will be held. E-book readers are thin, lightweight and provide

access to e-books from public libraries and the RSC Library for free. There will be a drawing

for an e-book reader the evening of Fright Night and students must be present to win.

Habitat for HumanityThe Service Learning Program needs volunteers

for its Habitat for Humanity event Saturday, Oct. 30. Volunteers may be asked to paint and do other building maintenance repairs. Participants

can pick up volunteer packets from Fine Arts Room 115 to fill out and give to Cindy Brown,

coordinator of Service Learning, on October 30. The location of the event is to be announced.

For more information contact Cindy Brown at cabrown@rose.edu.

Music Stand:

Every day a celebrity does something that average Americans wouldn’t even consider, or have the funds to recover from. But this week, a wanna-be pop star has thrown down the gauntlet and is ready to put her money where her mouth is.

Alisa Apps, originally from Cleveland, resides in Los Angeles. According to her myspace.com profile, she listed her record label as “major”, though she has yet to release a big time record of any sort.

Apps has challenged Lady Gaga to a sing-off, with a cash prize of $1 million, and broadcasted over TVs worldwide.

Apps was quoted in a press release stating, “I feel sorry for Lady Gaga – she’s just a plastic doll generated by the music money marketing machine. This contest gives people a chance to choose which they prefer

– plastic or real.” Lady Gaga has yet to release a statement about this event.

Now it’s time to get down to brass tacks. While researching this turn of events, I was brought to Ms. Apps Web site where there is terribly small font, containing bits of useless jargon, and one mammoth photo of Apps. Strangely enough, she looks eerily similar to Gaga; in fact, they could pass as sisters.

Apps says she wants people to choose what they prefer, plastic (Gaga) or real (Apps). I hate to demolish any dreams or give away any secrets, but Ms. Apps, the public has chosen. Gaga is a world phenomena. She has sold over 13 million albums, 51 million singles, and countless concerts, T-shirts, and fingerless gloves. She has stood against the government and the religious sects who protest her music, self and beliefs.

She even got Cher to hold her meat purse at the VMAs.

Now, Apps, do you think you have what

it takes to stand on a stage before millions of people, all judging you, while you take on the self-accredited Fame Monster? And how more real can a person get than making herself into the biggest international pop sensation since The Beatles?

I’m sure Gaga would just hand you a million dollars to make you shut up. That’s chump change in the big leagues hunny.

(Photo provided by Myspace)(Photo by MCT Campus)

By: Miranda LimingAssistant Editor

For years, our campus has been in a fierce battle. Are we smoke-free or pro-smoke? What rights are being violated? Who wins?

The Board of Regents declared a winner to this long debated issue Sept 30. The campus will become tobacco free August 2011.

But how will this be enforced? When can students and faculty expect cessation programs to begin? How will this policy be implemented?

These questions remain unanswered. And knowing our administration, the answers could be available this week, next week, or a week before the policy goes into effect?

When will non-smokers realize that smoking is an addiction, one that cannot simply be dropped as easily as saying “I’ve decided to quit.” It’s a process that takes time, strength and understanding.

Smokers have been given less than a year to comply with this new concept.

Campuses, who have experienced success in this journey, made reading materials, counselors, programs, and consequences available immediately upon their decision to become tobacco free. Ours has not. In other words, as usual, our campus has put the cart before the horse, or the lighter before the cigarette.

Currently, there is nothing available to our college. Quit seminars have not been scheduled, literature has not been passed out, and enforcement rules and regulations cannot be asserted, for they don’t exist.

Like Columbus, we have embarked on our journey, and know where our destination is, but have no clue how to get there.

So what do we do? We demand that rather than make us wait until next August to find out the recourse, they elucidate their plan in full.

Second, students were not consulted on this piece. For years, Student Senate has

been jamming smoking legislation down our throats. In Fall 2008, Senate brought the two sides together to speak their piece on making the campus tobacco free. Non-smokers wanted every piece of land they could take, including the distant parking lots. Smokers, and sympathizers, asked for an agreement of sorts, a middle ground where they could smoke and not bother others with their free choice. After hours of heated debate, tears, and a smoke break to calm the nerves, the legislation was dismissed.

So who really wins here? Non-smokers win by default. Though they won’t bring forward another legislation or demonstration to prosecute their smoky enemies again, our institution of higher education took their side. And they have the gall to attribute it to campus member health.

What our administration is missing with their newest ruling is the slippery slope they

have just stepped their selves onto to. Being concerned about fellow citizens help is commendable. But ostracizing community members because of their personal choices is not only un-American; it’s dangerous.

When will they rule that we cannot have fried food in our cafeteria? Have soda machines in our halls?

They will never rule against these things. Our food department and contracts with Pepsi Bottling Company make the college money. They are worried about our health when it pertains to carbon monoxide, but not the effect on diabetes or obesity. Of course not. Fat people spend more money, right?

Here’s a novel idea. Instead of restricting tobacco on our campus, why not find a way to make some fast cash from our smokers; maybe put cigarettes in with the Pepsi machines across campus.

Two health risks, one low price.

Million dollar sing-off

Spotlight

News and Features Page 3October 15, 2010

Dr. Chuang ShaoProfessor of Mathematics By: Brittany McDaniel

News Editor

Professor of Mathematics, Dr. Chuang Shao, has been a part of the RSC faculty for a year. Shao graduated with a bachelor’s degree from Southern Yangtze University in her home country of China, and then pursued her master’s and doctorate at the University of North Texas.

Even in her youth, Shao enjoyed math. She recalls rewards from math competitions, and was asked to tutor lower grade math groups. It was at this time that she realized the joy of teaching. “During those years, I was told that my explanations were easy to understand,” Shao said. “ I myself enjoyed teaching a lot. So I choose math education as my undergraduate major and decided to have math teaching as my lifetime career.”

Shao credits her favorite part of the job as “seeing

my students learn math and appreciate the beauty of it as I do.”

She explained that true mastery and understanding math requires a desire and persistence, explaining that even as a professor, there are still topics in math she is still discovering. “There are lots of topics in math that I don’t know, and would like to,” Shao said. “Learning is a lifetime thing. I have been reading different new math papers since I finished my Ph.D.” Shao says she enjoys seeing the math results.

Some of Shao’s favorite types of math include set theory, geometry, algebra and math logic. For future math majors, she relays the importance of determination. “Be persistent.”Hometown: Wu xi, Jiang Su Province, ChinaSpouse: He is a research scientist. Smart, nice and never

boring.Kids: I have a 5-year-old daughter. She is a happy, sweet girl.Heroes: My fatherHobbies: Reading, thinking, cooking and travelingForms of exercise: walking in the park or zoo and yogaFavorite food: SeafoodDrink you would recommend to someone having a bad day: Hot chocolate can make people happy. It works for my daughter.Proudest moment: When my daughter was bornWhat Web site would you recommend to someone: Google. You may explore anything that you are interested in whenever you want to.What are you currently reading: Some Chinese novelsWhat is your favorite song: “Friends” in ChineseWhat is your favorite music genre: Classic

Most desirable place to visit: Paris, FranceWhat would be your epitaph: Where there is a will, there is a way.One adjective to describe you: Positive

What is the best advice you’ve been given: Hope for the best, and prepare for the worst.If you could invent anything, what would it be: Time machine. Hope it will bring us a perfect world.What do you do when you get nervous: Take a deep breath.

Oklahoma State Supreme Court Justice Marian Opala, who spoke at the RSC Constitution Day event Mon. Sept. 20, died Monday, Oct. 11 after suffering a stroke. He was 89 years old.

Opala, according to the Oklahoma State Supreme Court Web site, was a native of Poland and a World War II veteran with the Polish Army. He became an American citizen in 1953, the same year he obtained his degree in law from OCU.

Appointed to the state supreme court by Gov. David Boren, Opala served on the court for 32 years, including as Chief Justice from 1991 to 1992.

When Opala spoke at RSC, he talked about how the U.S. Constitution was unique in the world due to its adaptability and how it is enforced by rule of law.

Services will be conducted 4 p.m. Oct. 18 at All Souls’ Episcopal Church, 6400 N. Penn Ave, OKC. In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to All Souls’ or to the Justice Marian P. Opala Endowed Scholarship Fund at the OU College of Law. (Photo provided by Legislative Branch Services)

“Financial success rule number one is stay in school,” Cynthia Campbell said Thursday, Oct. 7 during the Building a Better Budget seminar.

Campbell talked about how someone can make the best of their lifetime earning potential. “There is a stark contrast when you compare the earning potential between

high school and college graduates.”She encouraged students to set S.M.A.R.T.

goals. “Specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and time,” Campbell said. “Whether you’re saving towards a house, a car, or a vacation, setting a budget will help you achieve your goals.”

Citing her own life, Campbell explained how she saved easiest. “When I want to go on a trip, I set up a travel fund. When I

decide not to eat out, or buy another pair of shoes, the money I saved goes into the fund.”

Money controls a greater part of our relationships also. According to Campbell’s research, 90 percent of divorces in America are over “money troubles.” She explained how it’s not over an amount of money, but what it actually represents; freedom, security, and power.

(Photo by Bryan Trude)

Tinker Federal Credit Union held a personal finance workshop for college students in the Tinker Terrace Room in the Student Center on Monday, Oct. 11.

The workshop, presented by TFCU Financial Empowerment Speaker Kacie Mach, detailed to attendees the benefits of financial planning, establishing a positive credit history and the dangers of building up high amounts of credit card debt.

“This is something [TFCU] does at colleges across Oklahoma,” Mach said. “It is part of the credit union’s overall strategic plan.”

Mach covered checking and savings accounts, and how to use them responsibly. She said that practicing safe check writing habits, such as not counting on things such

as “float time” and to make sure that they use things such as ATM and debit cards wisely.

“Debit cards are great for money management,” Mach said. “You get a detailed statement from the financial institution that lists where you used it and what you spent your money on.”

Mach also urged attendees to make use of services at their financial institutions such as automatic bill pay and overdraft protection.

“Financial education and empowerment are very important to TFCU,” Mach said.

Mach said that all current students, faculty and staff automatically qualify for membership with TFCU. People interested in membership or further financial empowerment resources can visit their Web site at www.tinkerfcu.org or stop in at any TFCU branch.

(Photo provided by MCT Campus)

Each week leading up to Fright Night Thursday, Oct. 28, the LRC will host a scavenger hunt. The scavenger hunt will emphasize different categories such as serial killers, notable horror-story authors, horror films, etc. Hints will be posted each day on a calendar

near the reference desk of the library. Students can use the clues to find answers in library sources. The student finding the correct answer first will win a prize. To win the prize, the winning student must provide the title of the work used and the correct page number. Students providing the correct answers following the first prizewinner will be eligible for a drawing to determine the second and third

prizewinners. All students entered in the drawing must present the title and page of the work used to determine their answers. The drawings will be each Friday evening just before the library closes. Winners of the weekly scavenger hunt need not be present to receive their prize.

Answers to the questions must be found in the library without the assistance of librarians. Answers found in online sources will not be accepted.

The category is MOVIE MONSTERS

“My rather hideous features were the product of scientific experiments.”

Fright night clue

By: Bryan TrudeFeature Editor

Tinker Federal Credit Union offers financial workshop, strategic plans for student money management

By: Logan PierceContributing Writer

Setting realistic monetary goals

Okla. Supreme Court Justice dies at age 89

Page 4October 15, 2010

Entertainment

TuesdayHigh: 66Low: 46Possible Storms

MondayHigh: 80Low: 57

Sunny

SundayHigh: 82Low: 57Partly Cloudy

SaturdayHigh: 83Low: 55

Sunny

FridayHigh: 83Low: 54

Sunny

5 Day Weather Forecast

By: Bryan TrudeFeature Editor

Last Weeks Puzzles Solved

Sudoku

Crossword

This Week in History

Al Capone Sentenced

Weather provided by: accuweather.com

Classic comedy immortalizes writer’s childhood

Across1 Mr. Potato Head maker7 Mickey and Minnie11 Calculator display, briefly14 Find not guilty15 “__ in the Morning”: talk show16 “Caught you red-hand-ed!”17 Bodybuilder’s pride19 Plead for a treat, dog-style20 Barely make, with “out”21 FHA loan22 Diver Louganis23 “__-doke!”25 Melville’s sequel to “Typee”26 Flirtatious one27 -, on an AA batt.28 Melted dip for steamed lobster30 “Wait a moment”32 “Dagnabbit!”33 Quaint horse-pulled win-ter rides35 Machine gun syllables39 Psychoanalyst Fromm41 Surgeon’s stitch

42 Table-ready hearty entrée46 “Fill ‘er up!” filler47 Say “Ditto”48 Catch sight of49 Goes back out, as the tide50 Gal. or oz.51 Horse trade52 Mideast political initials53 “The Lord of the Rings” tree being54 Colorful butterfly58 Poem of tribute59 Seer’s sign60 __ d’: headwaiter61 Blue62 Blood supplies63 DepletesDown1 Possesses2 Gp. with UNC and Duke, among others3 Windshield-cleaning tool4 Like a heavy parka5 Ready to pick6 Mel of the Giants7 Central area in a big city8 “There’s no hope for me,”

in oaters9 Dice unit10 Tee preceder11 Maze runner12 Maze runner’s incentive13 Cloak go-with18 Thompson of “Howards End”22 Suggests indirectly23 Yoko’s family24 __ Ration: dog food25 Prom corsage26 “My, my, that’s a no-no”28 One of 90 in a right angle29 Like band music31 Flour strainers34 Having fewer marbles?36 Harbor pushers37 Saudi, usually38 Thomas Hardy heroine40 Biblical cry of praise42 Stars’ brief film appear-ances43 Meeting to-do list44 Not for kids, as films45 Pocket PC entry49 “Dallas” matriarch Miss __

51 “__ here”: “Ditto”52 Pocket PCs, e.g.54 +, on an AA batt.

55 Ostrich kin56 Joanne of “All the King’s Men”

57 Nope’s opposite

Famous American gangster Al Capone is sentenced to 11 years in prison Oct. 17, 1931, for tax evasion. Capone, who had a heavy start in Prohibition, prostitution and gambling, was booked into Atlanta’s U.S.

Penitentiary. Under heavy surveillance, Capone was accused of exploiting guards and receiving superior treatment and was transferred to Alcatraz Island in San Francisco Bay. Released early in 1939 on good behavior,

Capone resided in his Palm Island, Florida home where he died in 1947. (Photo provided by MCT Campus)

I remember a long time ago, back when I thought a McDonald’s Happy Meal was a huge amount of food, and a Big Mac would have made me pop like a zit. I was fresh off the boat from Europe, and my small group of friends would just entertain ourselves by imitating basically anything we thought was funny on TV or in the movies.

A good example is Chris Farley from Saturday Night Live. Despite only releasing a series of mediocre movies and a legendary stint on the famous sketch comedy show, Farley skits and routines have been recited by bored, idiotic teenagers across the country since Clinton

was in office. However, while apparently half

my graduating class at one point lived “in a van down by the river,” I now notice that this week’s movie was one of the few that I never heard quoted or imitated for our personal amusement.

I now see why.Black Sheep (1996)Rated PG-13Director: Penelope SpheerisStarring: Chris Farley, David

Spade, Tim Matheson, Christine Ebersole, Gary Busey

The mid-90s seemed to be little more than a giant blur of Farley-Spade buddy comedies, and “Black Sheep” fits into that glove as snugly as the straight piece from Tetris.

Farley plays Mike Donnelly, a bumbling, simple but kind-hearted rec center attendant whose brother Al (Matheson) is campaigning against the incumbent Governor Tracy (Ebersole) in Washington State. The Donnelly campaign sends aide Steve Dodds (Spade) to keep him out of the way, and out of the newspapers, until the election ends.

Tracy hears of this and, in natural 90s comedy villain fashion, decides to try and take advantage of the younger Donnelly’s ineptitude to try and derail the elder’s campaign. Hijinks ensue and good fun is had by all.

That is the assumption anyway. I don’t know what happened

to me, but I think I’ve outgrown the mindless slapstick humor that defined Farley’s entire career. The movie follows a concrete formula; someone says something to advance a pretty thin and simple plot, someone gets hurt for comedic effect, they decide to move to the next locale, rinse, lather and repeat.

Within ten minutes, I was basically able to predict the pranks and jokes before they happened. In addition to that, the story held no surprise for me. Seriously, it’s a 90s buddy comedy, you all know that the good guys win in the end just as much as I do.

To add insult to injury, it seemed that even the simple laws of physics decided that it could spend this

movie getting tanned in Mexico instead of enforcing simple laws, like gravity. I may not be a science major, but even I can tell that a 300+ pound man is not going to be held to the side of a small airplane during takeoff by a small sliver of jacket caught in the door.

While “Black Sheep” probably would have kept me rolling as a ten-year-old with its simple plot and painfully physical comedy as a 27-year-old man it is terribly unsatisfying.

Sorry “Black Sheep,” you are the movie equivalent of a Happy Meal when I need a Big Mac. Mmm, Big Mac...