Presenter: Carolyn Young, LMSW Same-Sex Couples Counseling.
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Transcript of Presenter: Carolyn Young, LMSW Same-Sex Couples Counseling.
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Presenter: Carolyn Young, LMSW
Same-Sex Couples Counseling
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SAME-SEX COUPLES COUNSELING
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Same-Sex Couples
MYTH/TRUTH
• Don’t have same problems as heterosexual couples.
• Same-sex relationships are not important enough to utilize counseling?
• Can work their own problems out.
• Should never foster or adopt children.
• Origin of problems stems from their sexual orientation of choice.
• Same-sex relationships have some of the same problems as heterosexual relationships.
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Same Sex vs.
Heterosexual
Same Sex Couples vs Heterosexual Couples
Goals Goals
Loving Family Loving Family
Children Children
Committed Relationship Committed Relationship
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According to 2010 U.S. Census Bureau and 2010 American Community Survey
• Approximately 131,729 same-sex married couple households lived in U.S. (U.S. Census Bureau, 2010)
• Approximately 514,735 same-sex unmarried partner households in the U.S. (U.S. Census Bureau, 2010)
• Nationally about 1% of all couple households were same-sex couples. (2010 American Community Survey)
• Out of 594,000 same-sex couple households, 115,000 reported having children. (2010 American Community Survey)
• 84% of these households contained own children of the householder. (2010 American Community Survey)
2010 U.S. Census Bureau
2010 American Community Survey
•
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Measurements of Accuracy
2010 U.S. Census Bureau revised estimates provide 10-year bench mark. U.S. Census Bureau derived data from two questions in a selected box; that could have mistakenly been checked in error.
2010 ACS estimates utilizes yearly time series. ACS is a nationwide survey designed to provide communities with reliable and timely demographic, social, economic, and housing data for the nation, states, congressional districts, counties, places, and other localities every year.
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Married straight couples w/families make up less than half of U.S. households….first time this group dropped below 50% since census data collected on families in 1940.
Husband/wife households w/children fell by 5% between 2000 and 2010.
Unmarried straight couples living together increased by 40.2%--four times the national average, but no comparison to rise in number of same-sex couples living together..80.4% from 2000 to 2010.
nationaljournal.com
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Conflicts Same-Sex vs. Heterosexual Couples
Same-Sex Heterosexual
Finances Finances
Household chores Household chores
Child rearing Child rearing
Intimacy Intimacy
EzineArticles.com
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Same-Sex CouplesConflict Styles
• Same-Sex couples tend to use effective arguing
• Tend to see humor in conflicts
• Give each other fair hearing
• Brief and quickly forgotten
EzineArticle.com
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Heterosexual Couples Conflict Styles
• Argue Ineffectively – “demand-withdraw”
• Conflicts are more frustrating
• Conflict resolution takes days
• Women tend to focus on the relationship
• Men tend to focus on logic and problem solving
EzineArticle.com
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Why is therapy importantfor same-sex couples?
• Help couples stay together; especially pre-marital counseling
• Help withstand challenges/minority stresses
• Improve communication
• Deepen intimacy
• Improves patterns of relating
EzineArticle.com
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Gender Issues in Counseling Same-Sex Couples
Barriers to Therapist’s Understanding of Same-Sex Relationships
Heterosexual Bias
Therapist Stereotypical Perception
Tendency to overemphasize sex roles
(Eldridge, 1987)
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Therapist Heterosexual Bias
• Misunderstanding of same-sex population
• Unaware of heterosexual beliefs
• Religious beliefs
• Cultural beliefs
(Eldridge, 1987)
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Therapist Stereotyping
• Gender stereotypes acts as barriers to effective therapy
• Assumption of gender role
• Linking behaviors to previous experience with population
• Unrecognized homophobia
• (Eldridge, 1987)
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Overemphasized Sex Roles
• Therapist understanding of an intimate relationship
• Comparing intimate relationships of heterosexuals to same-sex relationships
• Being persistent about identifying roles in the relationship
(Eldridge, 1987)
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Guidelines for Therapist and EducatorsRef: Same-Sex Couples
• Therapist Training
• Assist clients to integrate their gay male or lesbian identities into a fulfilling life-style
• Therapist might keep in mind the subtle and insidious nature of heterosexual bias and use knowledge as a reminder for reflection
• Discuss questions with colleagues about bias
• Develop habits of using gender-free language
(Eldridge, 1987)
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Guidelines for TherapistContinues
• Constant Research
• Explore same-sex training and education seminars
• Identify resources and same-sex organizations
• Identify colleagues and utilize them as personal mentors
• Utilize Social Media
• Assist couples to develop effective coping strategies and management of minority stress.
• (Eldridge, 1987)
• (Riggle and Rostosky, 2005)
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Gaps in Research
• Limited research has been done on Same-Sex Couples
• Willingness of Participants
• Disclosures
• Interest/fear in professionals
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Attachment Theory
• Explains interpersonal and intrapersonal process in romantic relationships
• Framework for understanding individual differences in close relationships
• Secure attachment styles characterized by comfort with intimacy and trust in the availability of attachment figures
• Secure attachment styles have been shown to have positive outlook on their romantic relationships, resolve conflict effectively, and regulate emotions in a healthy way
• (Mohr, 2013)
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References
• http://EzineArticles.com?expert=Mike_Ramidden
• Eldridge, N. (1987). Gender Issues in Counseling Same-Sex Couples. Department of Educational Psychology, University of Texas at Austin. Vol. 18(6)
• www.census.gov/newsroom/releases/archives/2010_census/cb11-cm181.html
• Mohr, J., Selterman, D., and Fassinger, R. (2013). Romantic Attachment and Relationship Functioning in Same-Sex Couples. Journal of Counseling Psychology. Vol. 6(1), 72-82
• www.closercouples.com/articles/gay-lesbian-couples-counseling/
• www.nationaljournal.com/thenextamerica/demographics/census-more-in-u-s-report
• www.pbs.org/thismotionallife/topic/relationships/same-sex-couples
• Riggle, E.D.B., & Rostosky, S. S. (2005). For better or worse: Psycho-legal soft spots and advance planning for same-sex couples. Professional Psychology: Research and Practice, 35, 90-96
• www.census.gov/acs/www>.