Parents as Partners: Working with parents to achieve better outcomes for children and young people Linda Lascelles, CEO - Afasic Afasic is the UK-wide parent led charity representing children and young people with the hidden disability of SLCN. We provide support and information through our publications, website, national helpline, network of local groups and programme of training. As we know, the Children and Families Act 2014 brought in a new SEN system which attached considerable importance to working with parents/children and young people. While this is not entirely new the previous Code had an entire chapter devoted to Working in Partnership with Parents it has now been given a renewed emphasis largely because parents persistently complained that they did not feel they were treated as partners. The Code stresses that Local authorities must ensure that children, their parents and young people are involved in discussions and decisions about their individual support and goes on to spell out what this means in specific terms: Section 19 of the Children and Families Act 2014 makes clear that local authorities, in carrying out their functions under the Act in relation to disabled children and young people and those with SEN must have regard to:

the views, wishes and feelings of the child or young person, and the childs parents

the importance of the child or young person, and the childs parents, participating as fully as possible in decisions, and being provided with the information and support necessary to enable participation in those decisions

the need to support the child or young person, and the childs parents, in order to facilitate the development of the child or young person and to help them achieve the best possible educational and other outcomes, preparing them effectively for adulthood

What does this mean in practical terms? To gain a better understanding of the underlying ethos, consider the NHS mantra No decision about me without me, which stresses the importance of making decisions with, not for. Within education, the term now being widely used to describe this principle is co-production and as it appears to be gaining traction it should figure prominently in your lexicon, Do you have the skills needed to work with parents?

What training have you had to work with parents? Are you confident about working with parents? Do you understand the importance of working with parents? Are you clear where to go to for help and who can you ask?

When talking about decisions, what do we actually mean?

The Various Stages of the Process

Identification that the child has a need: This means thinking about what procedures you have in place to identify SLCN, and how and when you involve parents. It probably wont surprise you to hear how problematical this can be. Parents tell us that they are usually the first to recognise that their child has a problem but that their concerns are often not taken seriously. In actual fact, parents have lots to contribute, whether or not they, or you, are aware of it. Parents know their child best and will have lots of information about him/her but may not have the vocabulary or understanding of their childs needs to articulate their concerns clearly. We know this to be true from our Helpline staff who often have to spend considerable time talking to parents to tease out the significant details and building up a picture are you as the professionals doing this?

The Assessment of the Childs Needs: This is the process that determines

both the nature and severity of the childs difficulties. Do you clearly explain to parents what the assessment process involves? Do they understand it in lay terms? How do you invite parents to contribute and support them to do so? Remember that they might not know what they can offer and it is your job as the professional to tease out of them the key information they almost certainly have but may not recognise as such.

Decisions about Support: Parents are unlikely to know what the options are

and so the professionals role is to make them aware of all the available options and their advantages and disadvantages. Parents may however have relevant information to bring to the process. For example, they might say that their child doesnt like being taken out of class. They might also have different priorities such as social skills rather than academic work for instance. It is important that you support parents to enable them to contribute in this way and that the eventual decisions take account of their input. Parents tell us that the eventual decision should spell out clearly who will be doing what, when how and how often. Parents may well want to help their child themselves and it will help you if they can reinforce and practice some of the skills you are working on. However, parents vary a lot in how much they are able and willing to do, so it is important not to make any assumptions and make sure you agree in advance what their contribution will be.

The Placement: Parents need to be made aware of their options. Depending on their particular circumstances, this might mean choosing between mainstream schools or a specialist language unit or resource. Some children might benefit from attending a specialist school. Do you know what is available in your area, or even beyond? Do you make parents aware of their options and encourage them to explore them?

Planning for Transitions, and in particular the Transition to Adult Life:

The Code stresses the importance of planning right from the start for positive outcomes in adult life. This should involve much more than just decisions about the next school or college course and also encompass wider life skills such as being able to manage money and use public transport, or make friends and participate in social activities. This can be a very difficult subject for parents, who may find it hard to look ahead. They may not be able to look beyond their childs current difficulties or might still be expecting a cure. Parents of younger children may find it hard to imagine the future, and

actually, it is not always possible to know where the child will be in five or more years time.

In order to manage these discussions successfully, you as professionals will need a range of skills and knowledge, including knowing about the impact and implications of the disability, the range of support, interventions and placements available, and of course the SEN system and what the law says. Most importantly perhaps, you will need to be able to manage meetings and discussions constructively so that everyone, especially parents and young people, feel empowered and involved. It is important to be aware that parents face a number of barriers to engaging fully in the process. These include:

Lack of knowledge re SLCN/SEN system/options available: This will be a problem for most parents, certainly to start with, and sometimes beyond that, to a greater or lesser extent. SLCN is a little-known disability, which is poorly recognised and understood, and few parents will know anything about the SEN system until or unless it affects their own child.

In denial: This is a particular problem with SLCN. In many ways the children are no different from anybody else, and it is easy for parents to dismiss it as an insignificant issue.

Too angry/upset: This speaks for itself. While difficult, it is still important to make the effort to engage with the parents. Remember that their anger is not directed at you.

Poor understanding of SLCN, how it develops over time and its impact: Parents, and others, often think of SLCN as being unable to talk and when their childs speech/language improves, assume they have overcome their difficulties. This may not be the case and you may need to help parents understand how it impacts on older children and young people.

Not a priority for them/Not relevant: Some parents may not really understand that their child has a difficulty, especially if they appear to talk reasonably well at home, and so might not really understand why they need help at school. Some parents may be too preoccupied by other concerns: medical, marital, financial etc. to give it enough attention.

Unrealistic/Differing expectations: This can make constructive discussions very difficult. A mismatch of expectations can take a number of forms. At one end of the scale, the parents may be expecting their childs problems to be cured, and at the other parents may struggle to believe much improvement is possible, and, of course, there can be varying levels in between and perhaps move between stages at different points in time. Be aware that this is something that may be need to be addressed before any meaningful decisions can be made.

It was worth bearing in mind that parents of children with SEN/SLCN go through the classic stages of adjustment: shock, denial, anger, resignation and ultimately acceptance. Some parents get further or move faster along this journey than others. Those who have reached a full acceptance will find it easier to engage in discussions and make informed decisions, but the majority of the parents you deal with may still be somewhere on this journey. Do you know how to make the decision-making process relevant and accessible to them? It is worth always remembering that parents are only interested in THEIR child and they will trust you (or not) depending on how you engage with them. Build trust early, and chances are you will have a successful partnership that benefits their child; lose it, and you are unlikely to get it back.