August 20th, 2009 Noon - 4:00pm at Tam-O-Shanter Park

Current and Past PCAP Clients and their families are invited to the BBQ. Please RSVP by July 31st, 2009 to your PCAP worker or call Chelcie at 425-9600 ext. 32, so that we can provide enough food for everyone coming.

PCAP Now Has Openings And You Are Our Best Source for Referrals

We have learned that our best way to find new clients is through current clients and by word of month. You are our best source for referrals. After all, you know this population the best. If you have a friend, relative, neighbor, or anyone that you know is either pregnant or 6 months post partum, and has had substance abuse issues during pregnancy, feel free to call any of the PCAP staff and chat about it. Your referral is confidential. Even more impactful, your experience with PCAP can be shared with others and it may give them strength and hope that they need to reach out for help. All we need from you is the persons name, phone, and address (if possible). You all have the ca-pacity to help us get involved with these women early in their pregnancy, before other service providers do, so please help your friend or relative out now.

Call Jan at 360-425-9600 Ext 12 or any of the PCAP advocates.

Parent– Child Assistance Program 600 Broadway Longview, WA 98632 This newsletter has been designed for you the PCAP mothers. Our hope is that you will feel comfortable enough one day to share your story with other mothers. As we all walk as independent mothers in recovery our new goal must be to trust. Trust can be support and support and inspiration is what we all need. Take a risk and share your celebrations. How has PCAP been successful? Write a brief letter or note and we would love to review it for publication in our next issue. If you have questions please call 425-9600.

ON THE INSIDE P 2—Family Activities: Cheap, Fast, Fun! P 3-4 —Relax & Re-charge: How to be a Happier Mom. P 5—Monthly Mantra, Quote, Kid’s Recipes. P 6—Thank you to PCAP clients, Phoenix House, and Personal Story. P 7—Client Quotes and the PCAP Team.

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SUMMER 2009

Page 2

Family Activities: Cheap, Fast, Fun! By Barbara Rowley, Parenting

As moms, every day we see that kids love doing small, simple things. But we often can't resist doing the big, elaborate ones, despite their cost and hassle. And though we know they probably won't remember a trip to, say, the circus, we want the memory. That's okay every now and then, but most of the time you'd be better off thinking a whole lot smaller. Some ideas to get you started. The perfect pull-over Some of the best places to go are right on the side of the road. You can spend a good hour pulled over at a construction site watching gigantic machines dig, dump, and lift. And if you've got train lovers -- but no trains to ride -- park near a crossing to watch them roll by (ask at a business near the tracks what time the trains pass through). When you've watched at one crossing, scoot over to the next one and watch again. Sitting on your car near an airport to watch the airplanes fly overhead is another exciting outing. In between take-offs and landings, you can watch the contrails and the shapes in the clouds. Ask for a back-door tour After grabbing a bag of bagels with Anna in tow, I headed, uncharac-teristically, out the back door of the shop, which gave us a view of the bagel-making machine. We were both transfixed -- and watched for a good 15 minutes. To turn your Saturday-morning errands into outings to remember, just ask for a closer look (or find a safe viewing point) at any number of destinations. A few good ones: coin-sorting and dollar-counting machines at the bank, automated photo-processing equipment, and any sort of mechanized food preparation, from tortil-las to doughnuts. Pretty and public Drive to a beautiful garden, a mural-or graffiti-covered wall, or a farm or fruit stand. Toddlers and preschoolers love nothing better than the smell, touch, and sight of nature's bounty, and the beauty of a fountain or even a somewhat tacky art display can be exciting to them. Ponds and streams -- where you can also amuse yourselves tossing leaves and dandelions and watching them float away -- all offer possibilities. Go on a scavenger hunt Look for the longest bridge, highest building, tallest tree, or the biggest letter A on a sign. Bring a camera and record images of your kids in front of their finds. Or give the search a concrete reward: A friend of mine's dad used to take her and her siblings on drives

with the sole mission of finding double X's on license plates -- and they got a dollar reward for each X in a row. You could just as easily offer less or even nonmonetary compensation, since the literal payout doesn't matter. My friend still remembers the drives with her dad 35 years later Take a quick trip If your preschooler is constantly singing about the wheels on the bus -- but has never had the opportunity to ride one -- she'll find actually getting on and seeing the wipers go swish, swish, swish and hearing the horn go beep, beep, beep a real treat, even if you have no place to go and just ride round-trip. Ditto for trains and ferries.

Head to the mall...but not to shop If you get there as soon as it opens, before the crowds arrive, your kids can jump from one colored tile to another, slide and pretend to skate in their socks on slick floors, take a ride in a glass elevator, and sing in the echo of an underground parking garage. (This indoor outing is especially great for blustery or rainy days.) Milk the park for everything it's got Look for poles to twirl around, logs to balance on, and hills to roll down. Even a simple park bench can be a spaceship, boat, or covered wagon -- and you'll likely have the perfect ending to any outing: a child who's ready for a nice, long nap.

COWLITZ PCAP

SUMMER 2009 Page 3

Relax & Recharge: How to Be a Happier Mom By Robert Barnett, Parenting

Admit when you're stressed Ironically, once you stop expecting motherhood to feel warm and fuzzy all the time, life as a mom gets easier. "It really helps to realize that it's okay to feel frustrated, angry, tired, or irritable sometimes," says Dr. Ubel. "You're not a bad parent. It's not even a bad parenting experience. It's just normal." Get enough sleep Most of us know that money can't buy happiness, but who knew that a good night's sleep just might? That's a key finding of that University of Michigan study. "Making sixty thousand more in annual income has less of an effect on your daily happiness than getting one extra hour of sleep a night," says study author Norbert Schwarz, Ph.D., a pro-fessor of psychology. So how can you sneak in that extra hour or two? Misha Sauer, mom of 1-year-old Riley, says her husband is good about taking over on the weekends so she can sleep in or nap. "It absolutely makes a difference in the way I feel," says the Culver City, California, mom. "And I'm more willing to do something active, like take my daughter to the park. If I'm tired, the most I can do is sit there and read to her." (Re)consider your priorities It may sound simplistic, but one key to being in a more positive mood is to structure your day so you do more things you enjoy. "It's how you spend your time, not your money, that counts," says Dr. Ubel. "If you have any financial flexibility that lets you maximize your family time, use it now. For instance, do you really need to be the one to clean the house? How about paying someone to help out? And if that's not an option, think about how clean your house really needs to be -- do you need to make the beds, or is bed-making time better spent drawing pictures with your kids?" And if you work outside the home, consider exploring whether you can afford to go part-time rather than full-time. Go with the flow Time seems to slow down when you're doing what you enjoy, whether it's gardening or running laps. People who ex-perience this level of engagement -- which psychologists call "flow" -- are happier than people who rarely do. And you're lucky to have a master of it right before you: your child. "To you and me, every leaf and ant is pretty much the same, but not to a two-year-old," says Reivich. "So try to actively notice things as your child does that ant is dragging a big piece of bread, for instance." Bringing more of your best qualities -- your strengths -- to the often mundane tasks of child rearing can also help you feel more engaged. "One of my strengths is humor," Reivich says. "I was making peanut butter and jelly sand-wiches for my kids one day, and I started talking like it was a cooking show: 'Now I'm browning the bread, now I'm applying a thin layer of peanut butter.' It transformed a mundane task into something all of us could enjoy." One mom she knows loves architecture and got passionate about explaining the history of columns as her 4-year-old made sand castles. Her preschooler may not have gotten all the references, says Reivich, "but it was entertaining for both of them." Savor the moment One way to nourish positive emotions is to take a moment to appreciate, well, the moment. Just map out two- or three-minute activities that you can do that day to relish that time. In the morning, for instance, instead of trying to do

ten things, take your cup of coffee to the window and sip it while your child watches a video. Notice what's going on. Will it change your life? No, but you'll probably feel calmer. Gilbert has an even shorter version: "Take ten seconds every hour and look at what you're doing from a higher place." While you're at it, appreciate what a wonderful child you have -- those chubby cheeks, the endearing things she says -- and share that joy with someone who'll re-joice in it with you. That's another way to grab on to the good stuff and prolong your happiness.

Take the long view Having a sense of perspective will also improve your attitude. "It gives you more patience, and it certainly awakens you to the preciousness of the moment, which is fleeting," says M.J. Ryan, author of The Happiness Makeover and mom of Anna, 9. She remembers the times when her daughter wanted to sit on her lap and watch SpongeBob. "Yes, I had other things to do. But I said to myself, 'How long will this last?' I'm grateful for that time with her." If the drudgery is getting to you, think about life without children. "You've signed on for a hard job it's not supposed to be fun most of the time," says Gilbert. "It's easy to get caught up in the details, but you need to step back and realize how empty your life would be without these people in it." Reconnect A supportive group of friends and family is one of the cornerstones of a happy life, and for many moms, the center of that social circle is their partner. That's why it's so important to keep the lines of communication open, especially during the "diaper years" -- from infancy to around age 3 -- that experts say are the most stressful (until your kids become teens, that is!) on a marriage. "You can't say, 'I'll handle the relationship later,'" says Reivich. "A healthy and realistic goal is to ask, 'What are some small, manageable things we can be doing to keep our connection to each other strong during this rough time?'" For instance, she and her husband try to have a coffee together at night once a week, after their four kids (all under age 9) are in bed. "It's not a date -- we don't need a babysitter -- it's just fifteen minutes. But it's a change to sit together and unwind, and sometimes a chance to dream." When she works with couples, Reivich helps them figure out what they can do for a couple of hours together that inter-ests both of them. With one couple, one partner was very curious, the other really appreciated beauty, so they spent an afternoon museum hopping. "It can be as easy as going food shopping together," she says. Once you make little steps, it's easy to move on to bigger ones, like a night out. Even discussing how stressed you both are can help. "It's affected our relationship a lot; we've both noticed it," says Sauer. "If you can both just say, 'Raising a kid is hard,' putting it out there diminishes the strain." She and her husband are working on having more time together-by themselves. "We just went on our first date since the baby was born," she says.Another way to strengthen your connection is to practice what shrinks call "active constructive responding." When your spouse comes home and shares some good news, don't just say, "That's nice." Ask questions that let him tell you about his day, even for a minute or two. At least for that minute, the two of you will be celebrating what's good about your lives. Say thanks Feeling grateful is a mood booster. It can be as simple as saying grace every night or finding new ways to acknowledge others. "When our extended family gets together for a birthday, we go around the room and say one thing we appreciate and the one thing we like best about that person," says Elizabeth Howard.Another effective way is to put what you're thankful for down on paper: Write the three best things that happened today. It might be something positive that hap-pened to you, your kids, your spouse or friends, or in the world. It might just be something funny that your child said at breakfast. Experts say that if you do that every day for two weeks, your feelings of well-being will increase.Of course, even if you do all of these things, you'll still have bad days. But at least you'll be less likely to think there's something wrong with you. And the more you engage in positive thinking, the more you'll realize how much happiness is under your control. Not all of it, but perhaps more than you were aware of. "When I started to research happiness, I thought it was a feeling, and you had to wait to have it happen to you," says Ryan. "But feelings follow thoughts -- they don't precede them. I think of happiness as three things -- enjoyment, satis-faction, and fulfillment. Mothering can give us any one of those at any given moment -- if not necessarily all of them at the same time!"

Page 4 COWLITZ PCAP

“The little unremembered acts of kindness and love are the best parts of a person’s life” William Wordsworth Prevention

Mantra of the Month Jared Matthew Weiss

“I can’t control how I’m perceived, only how I’m presented.” People are like fun house mirrors: They all reflect a slightly distorted image back to you. Sometimes they’re flattering; other times they’re not. But ultimately their ob-servations have more to do with their own insecurities than with you. We all tend to take other people’s perceptions of us way too seriously. There are always going to be people who think you could be dating a different guy, dressing better, or following another career path. Maybe they’re right, maybe they’re wrong. Who cares? This month decide that while you’ll listen to what others have to say, you’ll focus on what you want. That is, after all, what’s most important.

Fun Recipes for Your Kids to Enjoy

BLUEBERRY PIZZA Ingredients: Whole grain mini-waffles Cream Cheese Blueberries Preparation: Slap it all together and you are done. Easily able to substitute blueberries with any other fruit, strawberries, pineap-ple, peaches, etc.

FROZEN YOGURT POPS Ingredients: 1 8-oz. container of your favorite fla-vor of yogurt Utensils: small paper cups wooden popsicle sticks plastic wrap Preparation: Pour yogurt into paper cups. Fill them almost to the top. Stretch a small piece of plastic wrap across the top of each cup. Using the popsicle stick, poke a hole in the plastic wrap. Stand the stick straight up in the center of the cup. Put the cups in the freezer until the yogurt is frozen solid. Re-move the plastic wrap, peel away the paper cup, and eat your pop!

FUN FRUIT KABOBS Ingredients: 1 apple and 1 banana 1/3 c. red seedless grapes 1/3 c. green seedless grapes 2/3 cup pineapple chunks 1 cup nonfat yogurt 1/4 c. dried coconut, shredded Preparation: Washing the grapes and apples. Cut

apples into small squares, Peel the bananas and cut them into chunks, and cut the pineapple into chunks. Put the fruit onto a large plate. Spread coconut onto plate. Slide pieces of fruit onto the skewer and design your own kabob! Hold your kabob at the ends and roll it in the yogurt, so the fruit gets covered. Then roll it in the coconut. Repeat these steps with an-other skewer.

SUMMER 2009 Page 5

Thank You to All PCAP Clients I can not begin to tell you how important and meaningful PCAP has been to both me and the PCAP staff. I hope all clients know that what we learn from you is extremely valuable to us, and others, in order to help women and families to live more happy and healthy lives. We have graduated about 50 clients now and we have seen growth and successes in all of our clients. The growth has been on a long continuum and may look different from client to client. I over heard one client at exit remark that she did not think she accom-plished much, but in fact she did and it was huge. The clients accomplishments not only had to do with her but also to do with us and the things we learned about how we, and others, can help women to live more healthy and happy lives. I also wanted to acknowledge the strength and courage that our clients display while they work through dif-ficult issues and overcome incredible barriers. From the bottom of my heart, I thank you all for allowing me into you and your families lives. Jan Caliman, PCAP Supervisor

PHOENIX HOUSE

PERSONAL STORY FROM PCAP CLIENT

“When I first got involved with PCAP I already had a CPS case open for two years and I was getting worse. My little girl who was two years old was placed in foster care due to a positive UA for CPS. My PCAP worker automatically stepped up and helped me get into in-patient three weeks before I gave birth to my baby. She was the first one out of three to be born clean and I got to keep her with me since birth. Since treatment, I’ve had a couple of set backs but I’m stronger to-day. I can humble myself and be honest even when I don’t want to. All my kids are very much involved in my life. I have my own apartment and my life keeps improving. I recently lost my sister to addiction and refuse to go back to what killed her. PCAP has helped me stay clean by supporting me and not giving up on me! Thanks to PCAP for helping me become the mom I want to be!”

COWLITZ PCAP Page 6

After years of planning, and much coordinated effort, the dream of the Phoenix House has come true. The Phoenix House is a partnership between the Longview Housing Authority and DAPC. Construction started in August, 2008, and was officially opened in April of 2009. The Longview Housing Authority owns and manages the property and DAPC provides service-enrichment compo-nents. The Phoenix House consists of five 4-bedroom family dwelling units. Four families share a com-mon kitchen and living space. Each family has a private bedroom and bathroom. There is a commu-nity room. Laundry facility, fenced in yard, and a state of the art play area. The units are fully fur-nished. Cindy Jones is the house manager. The criteria for enrollment are that the mother is homeless, currently pregnant or have custody of at least one child, and substance abuse issues. Mothers in this project will have completed substance abuse treatment or are actively engaged in treatment. A variety of other services will be offered to the residents and children during their stay. Feel free to contact any of the PCAP staff for more in-formation.

SUMMER 2009 Page 7

CLIENT QUOTES Do you think being in PCAP makes a difference in your life? “Yes– because knowing that there’s one person out in the community to help you set goals and complete them is really important.” “PCAP is another source of support, a great resource list. PCAP staff has never been judgmental.” What do you like best about the Cowlitz PCAP Program? “They reach out to the girls in our community that really don’t know how to live or raise kids in a clean atmosphere.” “The thing I like best is that my advocate came and found me and she helped me get clean so that I could keep my son.” “They’re here to listen and give advise.”

600 Broadway Longview, WA 98632

PCAP

Moving? New Phone Number?

Phone: 360-425-9600 Fax: 360-425-9604

Please Call your PCAP advocate or office and let us know your new address and/or phone number.

You are very important to us.

Cowlitz PCAP– 360-425-9600

The new fully staffed PCAP team. Top Row: Katie King, Tawnya Merrell, Ashley Hanshaw, and Terresa Plampin. Bottom Row: Jan Caliman, Terra-Beth Henderson, Brandy Richardson, and Chelcie Kolaski.