Please print the form of the Self Test

before starting the presentation as you will need to

fill in its points.

Thank you

Evangelism and communication

Communication ….

It is a power (constructive and destructive)It is a power (constructive and destructive) It is a giftIt is a gift It is a skillIt is a skill It is a responsibilityIt is a responsibility

My responsibility

Whose fault that you don’t understand ????Whose fault that you don’t understand ????

““How can you say to your brother ‘let me take the How can you say to your brother ‘let me take the speck out of your eyes’ when all the time there is a speck out of your eyes’ when all the time there is a

plank in your own eye?” Mat 7:4plank in your own eye?” Mat 7:4

If you start blaming people you won’t find time to love them .. If you start blaming people you won’t find time to love them .. Mother TheresaMother Theresa

How we communicate

You are meeting someone for the first You are meeting someone for the first time. During the first 4 minutes of time. During the first 4 minutes of that meeting, ‘that meeting, ‘how we communicate’how we communicate’ is split into 3 elements:is split into 3 elements:

•the words we saythe words we say•how we say them (tone, how we say them (tone, volume)volume)

•and non verbal behaviour.and non verbal behaviour.

How38%

Words7%Non

verbal55%

Retention of information after 3 Retention of information after 3 days: days: 15%15% hear onlyhear only

35% 35% see onlysee only

65%65% see and hearsee and hear

55% of the message the receiver 55% of the message the receiver gets will be from your non verbal gets will be from your non verbal behaviourbehaviour

The Lord Jesus Christ sat down by the well … The Lord Jesus Christ sat down by the well … when a Samaritan woman came … when a Samaritan woman came …

(Joh 4: 6-7) (Joh 4: 6-7)

What if …What if …He met her on the way to the well?He met her on the way to the well?He was standing by the well?He was standing by the well?He was surrounded by His disciples?He was surrounded by His disciples?

Communication

It needs two and we are differentIt needs two and we are different I have my strength & weakness and you tooI have my strength & weakness and you too I am special … and you are too I am special … and you are too “ “For For

you created my inmost being, you knit me together you created my inmost being, you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful” (psalm 139:13-14)wonderful” (psalm 139:13-14)

Summary

Communication is a power, a gift and is my Communication is a power, a gift and is my responsibility responsibility

We are differentWe are different How I communicate is more influencing How I communicate is more influencing

than what I saythan what I say

If I were forced to choose, I would say I am …

Column AColumn A Column B Column B 1. More easy-going 1. More easy-going or more dominantor more dominant 2. More go along2. More go along or more take chargeor more take charge 3. More hesitant 3. More hesitant or more assertiveor more assertive 4. More accepting4. More accepting or more challengingor more challenging 5. More thoughtful 5. More thoughtful or more activeor more active 6. More supporting6. More supporting or more confrontingor more confronting 7. More quiet 7. More quiet or more talkativeor more talkative 8. More retiring8. More retiring or more boldor more bold 9. More relaxed 9. More relaxed or more intenseor more intense 10.More subtle10.More subtle or more forcefulor more forceful

Total column A - transpose to Horizontal line

1 2 3 4 5 - 6 7 8 9 10

Dom

inan

t

Easy-G

oing

If I were forced to choose, I would say I am …

Column AColumn A Column B Column B 11. More informal11. More informal or more formalor more formal 12. More spontaneous12. More spontaneous or more disciplinedor more disciplined 13. More responsive13. More responsive or more self-controlled or more self-controlled 14. More impulsive 14. More impulsive or more methodicalor more methodical 15. More close 15. More close or more distantor more distant 16. More feeling 16. More feeling or more thinkingor more thinking 17. More people-oriented or more task-oriented17. More people-oriented or more task-oriented 18. More outgoing18. More outgoing or more reservedor more reserved 19. More dramatic 19. More dramatic or more matter-of factor more matter-of fact 20. More warm 20. More warm or more coolor more cool

Total column A - transpose to Vertical line

Expressive 10 - Amiable

9 -

8 -

7 -

6 -

5 -

4 -

3 -

2 -

1 -

Driver 0 - Analysing

Informal

Formal

10 - Amiable (relator)

9 -

8 -

7 -

6 -

1 2 3 4 5 - 6 7 8 9 10

4 -

3 -

2 -

Driver (director) 1 - Analyst (thinker)

0 -

Expressive(socialises)

X

Types of personalities

Expressive (Socialise)Expressive (Socialise)Like recognitionLike recognitionHighly socialHighly socialLike to take risksLike to take risksLike to be differentLike to be differentOpinionatedOpinionatedExcitableExcitable

Driver (director)Driver (director)Task orientedTask orientedTime sensitiveTime sensitiveOften seems brusqueOften seems brusqueLess socialLess socialDemandingDemandingInsensitive to othersInsensitive to others

Analyst (thinker)Analyst (thinker)Detail orientedDetail orientedSeek proofSeek proofAsk questionsAsk questionsLess socialLess socialLike structureLike structureLike certaintyLike certainty

Amiable (relator)Amiable (relator)People orientedPeople orientedBuys on trustBuys on trustHighly socialHighly socialLike to build relationshipsLike to build relationships

Slow to make decisionsSlow to make decisions

SupportiveSupportive

Informal

Formal

Low

r

espo

nsiv

enes

s

H

igh

Dom

inan

t Easy-going

High assertiveness low

How to deal with the ….ExpressiveExpressive Get them talking about themselvesGet them talking about themselves Share their dreams and add to themShare their dreams and add to them Don’t focus on details too closely – they get bored Don’t focus on details too closely – they get bored

easilyeasily They love special attentionThey love special attention They are motivated by challenge, applause and They are motivated by challenge, applause and

recognition.recognition. Be conversational – they enjoy philosophical Be conversational – they enjoy philosophical

argumentargument They have very strong personalities, often too They have very strong personalities, often too

optimisticoptimistic

How to deal with the ….

AmiableAmiable Like to share their personal life historyLike to share their personal life history They resist change and enjoy the knownThey resist change and enjoy the known Prefer to share decision making with othersPrefer to share decision making with others Help them to take decisions, but go slowlyHelp them to take decisions, but go slowly Identify their personal needs and show them loveIdentify their personal needs and show them love Offer personal assurance of supportOffer personal assurance of support They dislike pressure of any kind and need lot of They dislike pressure of any kind and need lot of

reassurancereassurance

How to deal with the ….

DriverDriver Don’t waste time with small talkDon’t waste time with small talk They are impatient and conscious of timeThey are impatient and conscious of time Approach them directly and be organisedApproach them directly and be organised Get yourself well preparedGet yourself well prepared Keep your conversation focussedKeep your conversation focussed Be energetic and maintain direct eye contact. Be energetic and maintain direct eye contact. Be firm, let them feel you’re sure of yourselfBe firm, let them feel you’re sure of yourself Give them solutions that work and fastGive them solutions that work and fast

How to deal with the ….AnalyticalAnalytical Approach their needs in a logical and practical Approach their needs in a logical and practical

mannermanner Provide them lots of factual evidenceProvide them lots of factual evidence Avoid innovation or any hint of risk-takingAvoid innovation or any hint of risk-taking Work on a step-by-step approach – don’t rushWork on a step-by-step approach – don’t rush They will ask lots of questionsThey will ask lots of questions Support their organised and thoughtful approachSupport their organised and thoughtful approach

Behaviours that tend to destroy relationships

1.1. Don’t criticise – even indirectly. No one likes it Don’t criticise – even indirectly. No one likes it whatever they say. If it has to be done, be whatever they say. If it has to be done, be constructive and sensitive. constructive and sensitive.

2.2. Don’t be tactless or hurt people’s feelings. Think Don’t be tactless or hurt people’s feelings. Think in terms of other people’s feelings and don’t in terms of other people’s feelings and don’t offend by ignoring people, making fun of them.offend by ignoring people, making fun of them.

3.3. Don’t interrupt people when they are talking. Don’t interrupt people when they are talking. It’s rude and shows you do not listenIt’s rude and shows you do not listen

Behaviours that tend to destroy relationships

4.4. Don’t create emotional barrier in people’s mind Don’t create emotional barrier in people’s mind (bad language, unprofessional appearance…) (bad language, unprofessional appearance…) people buy people firstpeople buy people first

5.5. Don’t be pessimist – no one likes somebody Don’t be pessimist – no one likes somebody who always sees the black side of things and who always sees the black side of things and never has a cheerful word. The newspapers are never has a cheerful word. The newspapers are full of all the bad news anyone can take in a day!full of all the bad news anyone can take in a day!

6.6. Don’t show impatience or lose your temper – Don’t show impatience or lose your temper – even when right is on your side. It creates a even when right is on your side. It creates a barrier between you and the other person, which barrier between you and the other person, which will help neither of youwill help neither of you

Creation and maintenance of Rapport1.1. Match or mirror the body movements of the one Match or mirror the body movements of the one

you talk to.you talk to.a.a. Keep it subtle (slight, clever)Keep it subtle (slight, clever)b.b. Adopt a similar posture or gesture rather Adopt a similar posture or gesture rather

than mimic the personthan mimic the person2.2. Match or mirror his voiceMatch or mirror his voice

a.a. Rate of speechRate of speechb.b. Pattern or rhythm of speechPattern or rhythm of speechc.c. VolumeVolumed.d. Sentence lengthSentence length

Creation and maintenance of Rapport3.3. Match or mirror his moodsMatch or mirror his moods

a.a. Do a temperature check of his current moodDo a temperature check of his current moodb.b. Respect his frame of mind (temporarily)Respect his frame of mind (temporarily)c.c. Eventually lead him into a solution-oriented Eventually lead him into a solution-oriented

or more positive veinor more positive vein4.4. Use statements of fact to help him into a ‘yes Use statements of fact to help him into a ‘yes

mode’mode’a.a. Repeat statements made by him or Repeat statements made by him or

statements that are undeniably truestatements that are undeniably trueb.b. Begin or end statements with phrases that Begin or end statements with phrases that

ask for agreement (right? Ok? Would you ask for agreement (right? Ok? Would you agree? Isn’t it?)agree? Isn’t it?)