Planned Giving Group of New England · Habit 5: Seek first to understand, then to be ... Put...

Bentz Whaley Flessner © Copyright 2013 Bentz Whaley Flessner Bentz Whaley Flessner

Copyright © 2016 Bentz Whaley Flessner

0

Say “Yes” but Achieve “No!”

April 28, 2017

Planned Giving Group of New England

Presented by: Janet B. Cady

Executive Associate

Bentz Whaley Flessner

“Ultra-productive people...say ‘no’ to just about everything!”

From 15 Secrets Successful People Know about Time Management by Kevin Kruse



What we’ll cover today

� Experts’ recommendations

� Candid stories/experience and tips

� Your environment, your challenges

� Real-life situations and how to address

� What to expect

� How does it feel?

� Can you execute?



When you say yes, but achieve no…

� Build and sustain positive relationships.

� Be strategic.

� Achieve your goals.

� Manage time for results.

� Serve stakeholders optimally.

� Bring maximum value to your organization.



From Mahatma Gandhi

“A no uttered from deepest conviction is better and

greater than a yes merely uttered to please,

or to avoid trouble.”



“Yes” or “No”?

YES…

� Easy at the time

� Sounds service-minded

� Feels good

� Avoids conflict

� Unavoidable?

� Appears empathetic

NO…

� Difficult to say

� Impossible when you’re subordinate?

� Feels terrible

� Not service-minded?

� Seems uncaring



Are you forced to say yes?

Yes…

� Means you’re stuck with project—better or worse.

� Sounds like you can do anything/anytime.

� Sets precedent you’re available.

� Can be non-strategic—takes you off course or away from goals.

� Can be wrong for requestor—negative outcome.



Can you finesse a gracious no?

NO…

� Can be expressed without the word “no.”

� Open the way to a different path...better way to succeed…smarter solution?

� Question/listen…“I really want to help…can you tell me what you hope to achieve with this project?”

� Best expressed when not hurried…“Thanks for reaching out…let me look into this and call you back.”



Buy time!!!



What if?

�The requestor is more powerful than you?

�Passive-aggressive?

�Wants it right away?

�Who will they complain to?

�What will happen if you say yes and results are disappointing?



“No one is unreasonable…”

From Seth’s Blog 7/7/16—

No one says “I‘m going to be unfair to this person today, brutal in fact, even though they don’t deserve it or it’s not helpful.”

No one thinks they’re unreasonable, but you certainly don’t have to work with the people who are.



In the British tradition…

KEEP CALM

AND

JUST SAY NO



From Stephen Covey’s “7 Habits…”

Habit 5: Seek first to understand, then to be understood.

� Listen effectively.

� Put yourself in the other person’s perspective.

Habit 6: Synergize.

� Establish mutual trust and understanding.

� Solve conflicts through “sum is greater than the parts.”

.



More from Stephen Covey

“You have to decide what your highest priorities are and have the courage—pleasantly, smilingly, unapologetically—to say no to other things. And the way to do that is by having a bigger ‘yes’ burning inside.”



From “The Power of a Positive No” by William Ury

2. Empower your no.

1. Uncover your yes.

3. Respect your way to yes.



Curve of Acceptance

AVOIDANCE

DENIAL

ANXIETY

ANGER

BARGAINING

SADNESS

ACCEPTANCE



“Go to the balcony…” from Power of a Positive No, William Ury


Replace “but” with

“yes, and…”



Synergize

Not transactional…

but transformational!

A Higher Way



Analyze the successful path

Desired Results

Guidelines

Resources

Accountability

Consequences



Useful responses

WCopyright © 2015 Bentz

• “I have a policy…

• We have a strategic plan…

• Our work with your department is based on…

• I have another commitment to…

• We could do this next year...

• I prefer to decline rather than do a less-than-adequate job for you.

• What would you like me to stop working on to accommodate this request?

• Where does this rank in your priorities?”



Repeat after me...

“I am too positive to be doubtful.

Too optimistic to be fearful.

And too determined to be defeated.”

-anonymous


Scenarios from your world…

Planned Giving Group of New England · Habit 5: Seek first to understand, then to be ... Put...

Documents

Transcript of Planned Giving Group of New England · Habit 5: Seek first to understand, then to be ... Put...