Peer Review Sydney Underwood[1]
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Transcript of Peer Review Sydney Underwood[1]
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8/3/2019 Peer Review Sydney Underwood[1]
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Underwood 1
Sydney Underwood
2/16/2012
English 1102
September 11th
, 2001 Historical Inquiry
On September 11th
, 2001, our world was forever changed. Four passenger planes were
hijacked and flown into the World Trade Centers by terrorists. Within hours, the towers
collapsed. This event left Americans wondering what was next to come, and what exactly this
meant for America. Many say history repeats itself, so this thought left us with the similar
attack on Pearl Harbor, that was a sudden attack on the United States as well. Looking back on
both of these events, a nation that thought they were secure, were unexpectedly surprised by
attacks on its own land.
September 11
th
left America with many lost and forgotten lives. The attack was not
geared toward military nor government officials, but sadly civilians going about their everyday
lives. Americans knew who their attackers were and even that they may be at war, but did not
know what the future held. Through all the chaos and tragedy, Americans responded with
urgency and patriotism. Americans started to buy and display American flags, donate to
charities across the nation, and come together as a family. But, difference of opinions still
remained and cause havoc.
There are many conspiracies that have arisen following September 11th. People believe
that there were inside traders that knew about the attack even before it happened. Fishy business
Comment [FM1]: Reviewed by Marvin Ferru
Comment [F2]: Reviewed by Farrell Scappato
Comment [FM3]: Usually MLA format has yo
name, then the professors name, the course, an
the date last. Dont want to lose some easy poin
right.
You also want to make sure that in the page layo
tap under the paragraph tap for spacing, you clic
the empty box that says to not add extra spacing
between paragraphs.
Comment [FM4]: Might want to revise this
sentence. It makes it sound like all planes hit the
World Trade Center.
Comment [F5]: May want to wait until after
intro paragraph to provide specific examples
Comment [FM6]: Might want to think about
thesis statement so the reader knows where you
going with the rest of the paper.
Comment [FM7]: Who exactly were the
attackers? How do we know it was them?
Comment [F8]: May want to revise this sente
Americans did not know what the future was to
hold but knew who their attackers were
Comment [F9]: Used Americans a lot in this
paragraph, maybe try us citizens or civilians
Comment [FM10]: Americans
Comment [FM11]: came
Comment [FM12]: What kind of opinions? H
did this cause havoc? Like were there riots or
protest?
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Underwood 2
was taking place in the stock market and insurance companies prior to the attack. Such as, an
enormous about of put options and stocks being put into United Airlines, which were the airlines
to be hijacked. Many believe that traders profited from the attacks.
Another conspiracy was that the trade centers were bombed. The collapse happened very
similar to that of a controlled demolition. Witnesses reported that on their way out, they heard
explosions. Scientists as well as architects have studied the incident and say that a planes fuel
cannot produce enough heat to melt the steel frame in which the towers were built. The fourth
hijacked plane, Flight 93, was reported to have crashed in Pennsylvania. Many believe that the
plane landed safely while another staged plane was shot out of the sky. Others believe that the
planes passengers were murdered and relocated, never to be found. Also, the hijackers are
believed to be alive in other countries. The question has been raised, that how has the passports
and identifications survive an explosion that destroyed buildings?
Another shocking conspiracy was that the cell phone calls made from the plane were in
fact fake. Scientists pointed out that cell phones could not receive reception from the altitude that
planes typically fly at. It was noticed that well over 4,000 Jewish employees took off work on
the day of the attack. The first recordings of the attack were those from Jewish cameras. Lastly,
commercial airplanes are constructed out of aluminum in order to make it easier to fly. Scientists
believe that aluminum airplanes could not do the damage that was done to the steel towers.
Comment [F14]: I agree, maybe find a more
rofessional way to state your opinion. prior to t
attacks the stock market and various insurance
companies were experiencein fraud etc
Comment [FM15]: Might want to mention o
of your sources or a source that gives your
statement some strength. Like proof because yo
can say there was fishy business going on but th
reader cant really believe you without evidence
Comment [F16]: Give an example/ citation o
article that believes this theory
Comment [FM17]: I actually watch somethin
like this on the history channel. They did an
experiment simulating the events at 911. You mi
want to find a source about these studies done a
include some of the findings to defend this
argument that the planes fuel couldnt melt the
steel.
Comment [FM18]: I have never heard of this
an argument. I kind of sounds like just hear say
You are going to have to find a credible source t
give a clear argument with evidence if you want
include this clam as possible in your paper.
Comment [F19]: Could use a synonym of inf
Comment [F20]: You mention scientists in b
paragraphs I would probably say historians or cr
Comment [F21]:
Comment [FM22]: What is a typical altitude
Comment [FM23]: You are going to have to
really have find some sources that cover if this
theory is true or false because you are making a
very big statement here that all the cell phone
conversations that people had before their loved
ones died were fake.
Comment [F24]: us the word documented a
If it was use a citation
Comment [FM25]: This just seems out of pla
with including the Jewish community. It is kind a
statement out of nowhere.
Comment [F26]: Why? You could definitely b
up your paper if you provide examples and
explanations to these facts
Comment [F27]: I agree, I think your paper h
good start, I would keep the different conspiracy
in different paragraph (cell phone calls and Jewis
people are completely different topics) also you
definitely add more detail, if you got these
conspiracies from credible sources go into the ..
Comment [FM28]: Am not exactly sure whe
you are going with this paper because you start
with the tragedy of Americans lost and coming..
Comment [FM29]: I really am just trying to hyou write the best paper you can, but I feel this
paper is all over the place. Your paper so far is ju..
Comment [F30]: Also dont forget your in te
citations!!! Hope this helped see you tomorrow!
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Page 2: [1] Comment [F27] Farrell 2/20/2012 6:02:00 PM
I agree, I think your paper has a good start, I would keep the different conspiracyies in different paragraph (cell
phone calls and Jewish people are completely different topics) also you can definitely add more detail, if you got
these conspiracies from credible sources go into the articles and try to find more specific evidence as to why each
theory could be plausible.
Page 2: [2] Comment [FM28] Ferrufino, Marvin 2/20/2012 2:05:00 PM
Am not exactly sure where you are going with this paper because you start off with the tragedy of Americans lost
and coming together, but then go into a large amount ofconspiracy theories. You may want to just focuson a few, more source credible, conspiracies if what you want to do is mention the different
conspiracies around 911. In this last paragraph alone, you mention 3 completely differentconspiracies without much detail or sources to credit these different claims.
Page 2: [3] Comment [FM29] Ferrufino, Marvin 2/20/2012 2:10:00 PM
I really am just trying to help you write the best paper you can, but I feel this paper is all over the place. Your paper
so far is just jumping from conspiracy to conspiracy without any real detail or elaboration or credible sources to
support your research paper. If conspiracy is what you are after, then I feel the best thing is to just focus on 2 or 3
theories and really go into detail with them and have sources to support each theory. You want to make the paper
interesting and engaging for the reader. If you work hard on detail with sources, you can be having the reader
thinking in their head like what is reality and whats not? That would be an interesting paper to read that
challenges the reader to think.