Once upon a time in TS2, there was the legacy of Edmund Pause, whom I had become very attached to. Unfortunately this tale doesn’t end well.

I had reached generation 9 before it was stolen by government agents as they knew the world wouldn't be able to handle the coming of the 10th generation and society would crumble. (i.e.: an installation of an expansion pack corrupted the save files grrrr.)

After a few failed attempts to write a new legacy, I decided to recreate the Edmund Pause I had loved so much and begin is tale afresh in a new dimension.

His old story with 20 delicious chapters can be read HEREHis new story starts here.

I tried to make him look like his TS2 self, so of course, he looked nothing like it.

I enjoyed his goofy charm nonetheless and descended him unto Something Valley and bought him an empty plot of land and Edmund Pause began his life, a sim I would do anything for.

Edmund: “Umm aren't you going to build me a house?”

Nah, too lazy, let's go stalk some ladies.

Ah, the park, the perfect place to find unsuspecting women.

Edmund is a hopeless romantic who wants a large family, so he has babies on the mind at all times and will probably fall for the first woman to give him as much as a raised eyebrow.

Hey where'd you go?

Edmund! You’re playing chess with a burglar! And it’s not even a female burglar!

Burglar: “So you’re new in town huh? Got a nice new fancy house with electronic goods but no working security system yet?

Edmund: “Well no, but I have a plot of land I could put a house on at some point.”

Burglar: “Bye.”

Edmund: “Playing chess alone is lonely.”

Psst, Edmund, pretty lady behind you.

Allesandra: “Hallo, My name iz Allesandera.”

Edmund: “Er…hi, why would anybody make a talking chess board, and why is your name Allesandra?? I would have gone with “Queenie” myself.”

Lost your chance there Edmundo.

Okay, Lillian Gore is desperately lonely and she agreed to go get dinner with you. Just lay some smooth words on her and she’s yours for the taking.

Edmund:“So how many babies would you like to have, I'm after at least 5 myself, but we can settle on around 7 or 8.”

Lillian: “I’m sorry, what?”

Edmund: “Never mind, we can discuss it over dinner.”

Let me guess, she went to the bathroom and never came back.Edmund: “Yes, I can't believe she stood me up. Did I scare her off?”Oh.....no....., I'm sure the toilet serpents just got her.Edmund: “Yeah, I'll bet that's what happened. Poor Lillian, oh well, she's a serpent's bride now.”

Edmund: “What's that?”Hmm, oh someone left a baby down there.Edmund: “Oh God, it smells so good! Maybe I should….take it home….with me.”No, keep walking.

Hmm, maybe we can try the beach, I believe stalkers frequent there too.

Edmund:“Hey what's that?”

Edmund: “They're tormenting me...”Let's go home.Edmund: “You mean lets go to the yard?”Fine I'll build you a house.

Like your house?Edmund: “It's a shack.”It's quaint.Edmund: “It's dilapidated.”Get inside.

You may have noticed the pink.Edmund: “How could I notice anything else?”It's there as motivation, the sooner you have a family and get rich the sooner you can get rid of the pink.Edmund: “Okay fine, we'll keep the bunny-rabbit bin though.”

Edmund: “and the bedroom is quite...rustic”Again, motivation.

Okay, maybe it is a dilapidated shack, but it's only the first day. Tomorrow we'll find a pretty lady and kidnap her.

Okay Edmund, day two. What's our plan of attack?Edmund: “Let's go fishing.”….......Edmund: “Fishing for the mother of my babies I mean of course.”

Fine, you fish and I'll scout for potential victims- I mean, your future legacy wife.“Sweet.”

I spied upon Blair Wainwright. She's a little skinny, but we have no time to be choosey. She could be the one. Don’t scare her off, just compliment her.

Edmund: “You are very skinny....in fact, would those flaky hips even be able to bear children?”

Blair: “Umm...would you excuse me, I must use the restroom.”

Edmund: “Let me double check that there are no toilet-serpents in there to get you. They are notorious for stealing pretty young ladies.”Blair: “Ah! What are you doing with your hands in the toilet, get out you creep!”

Edmund: “Unless you wanted to become a bride of a toilet serpent, you might wanna thank me.”Blair: “ You’re too weird! Get lost, I’m going home!”Edmund: “Whatever, I didn't like your shirt anyway. “

All day we tried to find Edmund a mother for his unborn children, but had no luck, not even these two who stopped chatting and hopped in cars as soon as Edmund got close. Time to go home and eat and sleep alone again.

Eating meals alone on the couch in your underwear is very depressing. You need a girl, and fast!

Day Three:

The park and the beach did not work, next step on a stalker's list is the public pool so – WOAH hold on a sec!

‘Allo ‘allo ,what’s all this then?

Pauline Wan. In every game I have played, Pauline dumps Hank Goddard and becomes the town bike. I think it's about time Edmund makes an honest woman out of her, and hope she won't cheat on him.

Can you see these two as a couple? Hmm maybe not, but I'm not being picky.

Seeing as Pauline is a flirt and also has commitment issues she wastes no time flirting with Edmund, who being a hopeless romantic, fell head over heels. Unfortunately this flirting only goes one way.

Observe:

Edmund: “Hey Pauline, let me gaze deep into your eyes.”

Pauline: “Who do you think you are! I’m in a relationship you know! Nobody gazes into these pools of beauty and lives to tell about it!”

!!!

Edmund gets a puppy dog face, and goes straight back to plutonic talk.

Using plutonic options with Pauline, she and Edmund become close and he goes to make his move- Hey hey don't touch that baby!Edmund: “but he's alone...”Sims are awful parents.

The flirting finally works and Edmund sets about confusing young Pauline with his puppy-dog eyes.

Edmund whisks Pauline home and soon the lullaby is heard.

Okay Edmund, ask her to move in and to leave Hank, but do it so she won’t be offended .

Pauline: “You think I’m some floozy? Just because I have commitment issues and wouldn’t think twice about cheating on my man! You think I would leave my man Hank just because I may or may not have feelings about you. You’re crowding me, don’t be all up in my space!”

Edmund: “I love you, ever since you raised that very sensual eyebrow at me . You are all I dream about. I won’t even look at you anymore until you agree.”

Pauline: “Damn you are so pathetic it’s somewhat attractive. Okay I'll leave Hank to be with you. Oh did I mention he's also chief of police with biceps the size of your head, and he's not going to be happy with you.”

Edmund: “Okay, let’s hope we never meet each other.”

As soon as Pauline found out she was pregnant, Edmund rolled a want to marry her straight away, and Pauline rolled a want to break-up with Edmund.

Pauline: “I just don't feel we love each other”He wants to marry you.Pauline: “He's all up in my space!”

Edmund: “Okay, time to start baby-proofing this house. Starting with the bathroom! Damn you toilet-serpents, you are not taking my girl and my baby away from me!”

Pauline: “Outta the way, this woman needs to pee!”

Edmund: “Sorry it’s not serpent-proof yet.”

Pauline: “This space, you’re all up in it!”

Pauline tried to pretend she didn’t love Edmund and constantly flirted with ANYONE....

...but as soon as that ring came out all her wants changed to be around him.

Seriously, say no to that face.

The wedding dwindled nearer and Pauline began pining for her old life.Pauline: “*sigh* I don’t much like being pregnant, or wearing this dress, it’s very hard to convince people you’re single.”Hey, Edmund’s trying to make an honest woman of you. Not a cheap harlot, get married already.Pauline: “*sigh* Maybe there’ll be some cute guys at the ceremony.”

Pauline sucked it up and made her way to the beach were the ceremony was to be held.

Pauline: “I do like being the centre of attention.”

Edmund and Pauline were wed...

..and their onlookers rejoiced for them. Except for Hank who, for some reason, accepted the wedding invitation.

Pauline: “ I invited him, so he knows I’m doing fine and am happy without him.”But you left him, that’s not retribution, it’s pouring salt in a wound.

Jamie: “You know Edmund, I never noticed how handsome and suave you are.”

Edmund: “Jamie, you are hitting on me, at my own wedding party! You don’t see my wife hooking up!”

Dustin: “Pauline, I am so happy for you. You are positively glowing and must be the most beautiful lady here tonight.”

Pauline: “So, you like pregnant ladies do you Dustin. I so happen to be not wearing any underwear.”

Thankfully, Dustin is an upstanding gentleman and quickly walked away.

With the additions of Pauline’s funds, walls were painted and the shack finally gained it’s quaint appeal.

In contrast to her commitment fears, Pauline really loved being married and being pregnant. It might be attention she’s always getting now.

Shortly after the wedding, Pauline went into labour and walked out of the hospital with Zared Pause.

Edmund was obsessed with Zared, and hardly put him down.

Edmund: “Look, it’s a baby, and I can pick him up. And smell him! Because he’s mine!”

With the birth of Zared, Pauline began to get bored, and once again fell back on old ways.

Pauline: “Hey Hank, thanks for meeting me outside my house after dark where there are no lights. Have I mentioned how much I have missed talking to you and those large...muscular...biceps..mmm”

Hey stop flirting with Hank! Occupy yourself with a job or something.

Pauline: “So you’ll pay me to sit behind a desk and look pretty all day!? I have trouble NOT doing that.”

Pauline: Hey Edmund baby! Guess who just got herself a job in business. Corporation, water coolers, short skirts, the works! I am going to meet so many cute men!”

Edmund: “Good on you—what was that last bit?”

However, one hour after she started work, she had to leave as she fell pregnant.Pauline: “Whoo, now I can invite over all my new work friends to my ”I’m pregnant again” party!”How did you make so many new friends? You were at work for one hour.Pauline: “Yes, a whole hour.”

As predicted all of Pauline’s new workmates came to celebrate her pregnancy.

Zared also had his birthday at the same time.

Pauline quickly rushed out before Zared could age to do the Pregnant lady dance with this woman.

Zared Pause.

He got Edmund’s eyes, but also has Pauline’s flat nose and fish lips *shudder*

Jamie: “I still don’t see why you’re not attracted to me.”

Edmund: “Jamie, I’m with Pauline and we have a kid and another on the way. How are you not getting this whole marriage thing?”

The new family’s life began to work like clockwork. Edmund worked on his career,

And spent any other moment with Zared.

While Pauline worked on her Pregnant Lady Dance.

Pauline soon walked out of the hospital with baby Dion.

And Edmund carried out Jude.

Will Edmund reach his lifetime goal of raising 5 kids?Will Zared ever look less like Pauline and more like Edmund?Will Pauline stopped flirting with everyone!?!

Find out next time.END Chapter One