“PATHER SATHI”

THE ETERNAL COMPANION

IN DIVINE QUEST

Part I

A translation of ‘Pather Sathi,’

a Collection of Letters

to one of his followers,

dated from December 10, 1964

to May 7, 1978,

by MahaYogi Sri Anirvan.

Translated from the Original Bengali

By

Kalyani Bose

My Apologies

No matter how sincerely and humbly I try, I will never be able to express my

limitations in the perception of the depth and wideness of spirit and incapability in

reproducing the lilting music of language of so great a spiritual giant as Mahayogi

Sri Anirvan.

Moreover, it is a well-known fact that poetry can not be translated. The Muse of

Poetry dwells in the heart of a poet and comes out of her own accord in whatever

language and meter she chooses. Poet in English means Kavi in Sanskrit, and the

second meaning of Kavi is Seer too. And anytime Sri Anirvan picked up his pen, the

purest form of Kavya (creation of a seer) had poured forth.

My only consolation is this that had he not wanted, I could not have ventured to

be so audacious. Strange things happen for which nobody can account. I do not

know why I thought of translating his books for the interested generations that

might not have the wonderful fortune of reading his books in Bengali, why for the

first time I came across Lizelle Reymond’s book ‘To Live Within’ and read his letters

in English which reminded me of Mother’s saying, ‘There is a great beauty in

Simplicity,' why I went to Calcutta immediately after that, why I met Ramadi for

the first time and why she encouraged me.

At the end I cannot help but mentioning the lovely poem by Rabindranath, where

in the most puissant way, he describes the pang of a dewdrop in love with the

mighty Sun whom she dreams of but can not serve. Has the Sun not said that

though his mighty radiance covers the globe but still he loves to be caught in the

heart of the little dew drop and fill her world with laughter and joy? I do not know

what this translation will do to anybody who might pick it up to read, but surely

the moments spent in the effort have changed my world.

Kalyani Bose

LETTERS FROM DECEMBER 1964 TO SEPTEMBER 1968

December 10, 1964

I am pleased to know that you are feeling better than before. All is His blessings

and He resides within your heart. I shall always pray for your ultimate good that

you be able to walk smoothly on the path in quest of Truth.

January 12, 1965

Your questions are haphazard and reflect your disturbed mind only. Your goal is

not clear to you yet. If it were, you would not have noticed the ugliness of the

surroundings, environment, politics, etc. In addition, people would not have

bothered you so much. We create our own environment. The more you go inside

and create space within, the more you will feel silence and expansion all around.

To achieve that, you have to be absorbed in meditation as much as possible.

Presently you are residing in the Ashram- in an absolutely peaceful atmosphere-

have you utilised that?

Your first query is a personal question, which I shall not answer - nor should that

matter to you.

The second question has already been answered above. Nobody suffers without

one’s own mistakes. It is wrong to be affected by external events, and emotional

weakness is a sin. One who is steadfast within does not suffer even on a cross.

Why are you so worried about the world? First and foremost, find the Divine. After

that, if you are entrusted with the responsibility of changing the world, do that.

Now is your time to go within.

You have completely misinterpreted the utterances of Sri Ramakrishna. Rebuke is

not ‘cunning’. What he meant is, if needed thrash the wrong-doer but remain

unmoved within.

Memory and imagination both will disappear if you can establish yourself in the

Celestial Concept (Akash Bhavna). Otherwise, no matter how hard you fight, you

will not be able to eliminate the deep rooted habits that are passed on from

previous births (Sanskaras). Once you try to empty your mind, you will know what

all are latent inside.

Try to worry less about your country for the moment. You won’t be able to do

anything except losing peace of mind. If the Lord wants to create His universe in

the checkered pattern of light and shade, even the greatest and the most sublime

of the human souls will have no power to transform everything to light. Light the

lamp in your heart first, the world will come later.

January 18, 1965

Happy to know that you are doing well in the present environment. An aspirant

(Sadhak) should have the following attitude towards the world:

“The Universe is looked after by its Master and the Maker. I can perform only that

much of His work as has been allotted to me.” This is no escapism. On the

contrary it is a way towards purification of the being and annihilation of ego. Don’t

you see what a predicament man has created with the egoistic idea of doing good

to the world, to the country, to the society?

If your goal is to reach the Divine, you must happily accept your present situation

and continuously pray to Him asking for strength, devotion and knowledge.

Neither the doctrine of universal good nor that of renunciation is suitable for you.

Try to remain within as much as possible. A light will dawn within and in that light

you will see where He is leading His Creation and understand how much of that

Divine Work has been bestowed upon you.

Abolish all external mental activities and try to be established in the state of

Equality (Sthita Prangya) of the Gita.

After that if need be plunge into the battle of Kurukshetra.

February 6, 1965

Nature of sleep varies according to the predominance of the Gunas. Again sleep

follows the same pattern as our waking consciousness. In tamasic sleep lethargy

and numbness linger; we dream mostly during rajasic sleep, hence the sleep is not

sound; in sattwik sleep even a short repose brings rest and contentment, not much

of dreams and gradually the whole period passes as if through a channel of light.

This is the most desirable state of sleep. If you remain calm during the day, keep

the mind bright and alert, and be engrossed with the Divine Consciousness, slowly

the nature of sleep will change. Then the sadhna will continue even during sleep-

particularly the sadhna of japam.

In Akash Bhavna, initially you must learn to feel elated at the sight of the deep blue

expanse. It is calm, effulgent and blissful-a symbol of Sat, Chit and Ananda of

Brahman. Seemingly, the visible appearance of the Divine. When you dwell

constantly on this thought, those qualities will emerge in you. You will feel

yourself to be calm, effulgent and blissful. Then the Infinite will be felt within as

well as without. Something like, ‘I am expanding -expanding till I become infinite.’

This is called Akash Bhavna.

March 7, 1965

To my perception, the Divine attainment means attaining tranquility, transparency

and bliss. The scriptures have quoted the three symptoms too:

At His sight, the inner knots loosen -the heart opens as the lotus does at the very

touch of the Sun-resulting bliss; all doubts are dispelled giving birth to a

transparent mind where knowledge dawns; all disturbances and impurities caused

by wrong actions disappear-and tranquility pours forth.

Peace and sincerity can be achieved easily if you will. But your will should be one

with and be carried on by His will- as dry leaves are driven by a strong wind.

You will find Him-this is my blessings to you.

But the moment is not determined by any given date or time. The Divine does not

reveal Himself in a sudden flash. He emerges gradually as the light appears in the

morning sky. Try to remember this-that will help to clear your doubts.

Do not expect anyone to take you to the Godhead. Unless and until He wills no

one-not even the one who has seen Him can show Him to another person. The

peon meets the Chairman of the Company in the office all day long but the peon

can not bring anyone into the Chairman’s office without his orders.

Get rid of all complex ideas and continue your sadhna calmly. Detachment has set

in you- that is a progress indeed. All you need now is quietude and alertness.

Remain conscious always. Remember, disturbed mind brings only delay and

disruption.

March 15, 1965

Hope you have not lost control over yourself at the loss of your father. The bubble

merges into the ocean-so will you someday-but hopefully as a brighter one-this is

the responsibility passed on from father to the son. Bear that in mind and fulfill

that in life.

March 23, 1965

If you feel the necessity of a wedlock, you must marry. But not at the request of

your father or at the threat of a third person. From now on, every movement of

your life should be decided on the basis of your spiritual needs and the decision

should be in accordance with the will of the Heavenly Father. The earthly father is

nothing but His representative. Truly, he was your guide in religious life but the

goal of spiritual life by far supersedes that of religious life and the only Master

there is none but the Divine.

It is good to think of father as atman. This blow is nothing but a challenge to test

your mastery over desire. Your father had a long life but surely he was not

immortal. Hence do not mourn for the inevitable and do not repent for past. No

one can cause death to another. Surrender yourself completely at His feet Who

holds the key to life and death. Have you forgotten the Mother already?

Let the departed depart- do not indulge in the idea of bringing him back. Not only

is such imagination fruitless, it will be a hindrance to your spiritual advancement,

Your father-a bubble on the ocean- has merged into it. Someday I will merge too

and so will you. But the ocean will remain the same forever. Expand yourself in

that consciousness.

April 14, 1965

Do not marry, if you do not feel the need for it. Every one has to walk alone on the

spiritual path. Moreover, only God can be made your companion in every step and

every walk of your life-neither the parents, nor the spouse nor children. What is

the surety that your wife or children will look after you? It can very well happen

that you might have to look after your wife. Hence, to consider marriage as the

ultimate resort is not a proof of sound judgment. If you really want to, then only

get married-out of inner necessity not for outer needs. On the final day He is the

only companion-neither wife nor son.

April 23, 1965

The flame of aspiration that burns in human heart can not be created by human

effort but only due to Divine Inspiration. Merge your prayer with His Will and you

will receive what you ask for.

May 9, 1965

The sky is flooded with light. Expand yourself into that.

June 11, 1965

If you come here, you can stay in the guest room of Haimavati for a few days. The

rules are:-

The guest room is open from Monday till Saturday afternoon and closed on

Sunday. I stay at Kolkata on Sundays. There is only one seat available in the guest

room. So, you have to stay all alone and can’t have company. You will not be able

to meet or talk to me except at mealtime and from seven to eight in the evening.

The meal- an offer to Haimavati-prepared by myself-consists of daal, one

vegetable and a little milk. There will be tea and two pieces of buttered toasts in

the morning and again tea and slight refreshment at four thirty in the afternoon.

This is the arrangement for food. The object is to create an opportunity for the

aspirant to watch and examine himself in solitude and silence.

If you want to stay in the guest room I need to know at least three weeks in

advance. There are too many people in the waiting list. So seats are not always

available.

There is a helping hand for the daily chores. He washes utensils and wipes the

floors. Other than that everything has to be done by yourself. The bathroom is

attached and the guest room is completely separated from the main building.

Restraint of tongue has to be followed in two areas- speech and food.

‘Do not blabber about your sadhna’. One should not talk about the spiritual

experience to anyone. That inflates the ego and reduces the strength of

experience.

Higher Mind is a condition of very advanced state of Non-Duality. This happens in

waking state- like Sri Ramakrishna seeing the Divine Mother in every woman.

Sri Aurobindo has said that reaching to this stage is good enough for you; do not

bother about the states higher than that. You will find details about this state in

the chapter of ‘Ascent towards Supermind’ in the Life Divine and the

corresponding chapter of the Discourse on Life Divine(Divya Jeevan Prasanga).

Form can be used to help in meditation. By concentrating your mind on Form, you

will enjoy the Divine rapture too but try to submerge into the Formless.

July 30, 1965

Do not give in to the thoughts that are coming up like shadows. Examine them

thoroughly for some time more. If the desire for female companionship becomes

irresistible, you should marry. But if you can change that feeling with feelings like

discrimination, knowledge, love, purity and others then the problem is solved.

Human beings are prey to three traits of animal nature: eating, mating and

sleeping. Out of that the first and the last remain from the first to the last day of

life. Desire creeps into the middle one. With many boys and girls physical desire

might not be there at all, and it is much stronger in men than in women. In a

woman motherhood replaces desire-and the feeling of motherhood, in reality, is

an offshoot and a refined version of desire. Men, particularly modern men, to

fulfill their lust, attach a lot of importance to the fleeting attachment, which in

reality is nothing but physical desire.

I do not mean to say that nobody should marry. If needed, it is a must. But if you

can do without, why should that be looked down upon? The spiritual path is a

lonely path and a husband or a wife - every one has to walk alone. There is no

surety that your spouse will be close to your soul. Walking together side by side on

the spiritual path is possible only when the man and the woman know one another

before getting married.* If you find a life partner like that you can easily marry and

lead the life of Vashishtha and Arundhati. Otherwise, there could be possibility of

danger. I explained clearly from all sides. Now you have to decide what to choose-

desire or the Divine.

* Presumably, here what Swamiji means, is knowing one another from spiritual

point of view.

April 29, 1966

Accept my New Year’s blessings. Let your quest meet the results.

The fact that you started disbelieving the driver proves your weakness and lack of

dependence on the Divine. As a result, you were shrouded by the shadows of your

own mind- the poor driver did not know anything about it though. Sri Ramakrishna

used to term this as ‘calculating mind.' Everyone has it but the more you open

towards God, the farther it goes away.

Aum is a vibration all over-a proclamation of existence. The rustling of pine leaves

in the forest of Shillong is also an expression of Aum. As if the trees are

announcing with their very existence ‘we are.’ Hence the utterance of Aum

denotes-‘Yes, yes, You Are and so I am.’ Repeat Aum silently without moving lips.

The sound should emerge and subside in your chest with the rhythm of

respiration. Aum should be repeated in a way so that in all your movements and

actions it is there filling the cavity of your chest. While inhaling you should think

‘You are possessing me’ and while exhaling ‘I am expanding in you.’

The Presence can be felt with the repetition of Aum.

June 18, 1966

The devotee or Bhakta in you- the essential part of your being that feels an

unquenchable thirst for the Divine- is your Psychic Being. Do you long for the

Divine with all your physical-vital-mental totality? Probably not. Your longing is

partially mental but mostly vital. When you will feel that He is deeply engulfing all

your mind and vital and you feel the ecstasy in your physical too-then only the

Psychic comes in the front. The complete being in its totality of body, life and mind

surrenders to Him. Here we can cite the example of a girl who loves her husband

with her whole being. All her thoughts revolve round her husband; all her

emotions rush towards her husband; every atom of her body feel the closeness of

her husband. This girl has transformed to a Psychic being and has surrendered

herself completely. In a total self-consecration there is not an iota of personal

thought, everything becomes Godly.

Do not get perturbed by temporary inertia or listlessness. May be you are weak

physically. That can be cured by regular physical exercise and nutritious food.

As menstruation is natural with women so is discharge with men. That is a

biological function. Don’t worry about it. Only be careful that it should not be

intentional. Sri Ramakrishna aptly remarked that that is an excretion of rice. When

that goes out what remains gets refined. Hence do not think much about it for that

will increase its recurrence.

October 7, 1966

Try to understand the writings of Sri Aurobindo as much as you can by your own

effort. Study the shorter ones and contemplate deeply. You won’t gain anything

from listening to others. Be transparent and quiet inside. Too much emotional

excitement is nothing but rajasic disturbance. Surrender completely to His Grace.

October 22, 1966

Try to live in perfect bliss. Sometimes there are periods of stagnation- do not get

upset. It is like the incubation period-the work goes on internally rather than

apparently.

March 4, 1967

I hope you are remaining calm in spite of various disturbances in Shillong.

April 10, 1967

Remain radiant in tranquil delight.

April 14, 1967

Accept my New Year’s blessings. Do not feel depressed even if you have made any

mistakes. What you need is not repentance but firm resolution. Once mistakes are

identified, they should never recur- this resolution should be implemented simply

and firmly.

He is supplying all your needs all the time. All you have to do is to stand face to

face with Him at the core of your heart. Remain radiant and peaceful always.

May 12, 1967

Let your heart be filled with His bliss, His effulgence, His ecstasy.

June 10, 1967

Erroneously, you are involving yourself in a tangle of illusion. If the girl has fallen in

love with the boy, why do you object? Don’t you understand the boy does not

want you to have any connection with the girl, that is why he made her talk to you

like that.

The Divine is your only object. I am surprised to see you deviate from that goal and

ready to fight against the fate of an ordinary girl.

You will not be able to do anything for that girl. Let her go wherever her destiny

leads her. Free yourself from the bond of attachment. Do not waste time with her

thoughts. You will not be able to do any good to her - on the contrary, you yourself

will fall. Beware, a film of smoke has been created in you regarding her.

Do not run away. Stay where you are and free yourself from the net of illusion. I

know you will be able to do that.

July 30, 1967

Happy to know that you are back to yourself.

Try to remain within always. We want peace, light and happiness. All of that is

within us. Only the shadow of that is outside- the reality is inside. Always remain

within with that understanding.

November 25, 1967

I did not ask you to marry. I just repeated whatever I commented earlier. What I

mean is that it is not true that one can not lead a spiritual life if he gets married. It

is better not to have any prejudice. Marry if you want to. If you find it is not

needed then don’t.

Since you are not feeling any need for it don’t think about that any more. Come in

contact with women easily as and when needed. Do not look at them through any

coloured glasses.

December 10, 1967

Peace brings fulfillment. Always remain peaceful- remain inward. The light that will

emerge will brighten up both past and future and you will feel that He is drawing

you closer to Himself more and more.

January 26, 1968

Why should I be unhappy with you? Do not burden yourself with such thoughts.

The way you are proceeding with your japam and meditation is all right.

March 8, 1968

I do not think it is right to be in debt in order to help others. Leave the girl in His

care. Pray that good comes to her. If ever her marriage is finalised, help whichever

way you can, but do not try to go out of the way. Your good wishes itself will do

good to her. Happiness is internal- she should receive that understanding from

you. That will do her good. Anyway it is good that you feel free both in yourself

and in your attitude towards her.

April 6, 1968

Aum is the seed of the Supreme Godhead. The way you are meditating on Aum is

the right way. The essential form of mine or of Haimavati is also Aum. Therefore to

meditate on Aum is the same as to meditate on me or on Haimavati. Though same

in essence, there is a slight difference in feelings of Purusha and Prakriti. Purusha is

pure Knowledge and Prakriti is Life and Love. But Knowledge, Life and Love are

intertwined. You can surrender to either Purusha or to Prakriti however and

whenever you wish- but submerge Purusha and Prakriti into Aum and there will be

no confusion.

P.S. Haimavati is verily the Mother.

May 17, 1968

The turmoil in your mind will slowly bur surely clear away. Unknowingly, you got

involved. That is why it seems hard to uproot completely all memories. Everything

is forgotten in course of time. You will forget this too. Expand your mind in the

blue sky-the heaviness of events will gradually melt away.

It is impossible to take vacation from my work here. So I can not agree to your

proposal. My work is tapasya for my country. To be away from that is the same as

giving up my Dharma. Though away physically, I am always with you.

Be in good health and happiness.

June 7, 1968

This is my concept of a Guru:

God is the sole Guru of every creature. The human guru is nothing but His

representative. If any human being, with egoistic pride as a guru, thinks of himself

as God-I consider him anti-Divine. Paradoxically, this is also true that one can reach

God through a human. But for that one must have a very clear conception of

Truth- and the concept on Truth comes from Self-Realisation. The reality of Guru

has been truly expressed in the mantra of ‘Brahmaanandam Paramasukhadam.’

The ceremony of ritualistic diksha is not a must.

Had you not fallen in mud you would not have realised how filthy it is. The event

took place because it was necessary for you to come in contact with that mire.

Now that you have understood, go beyond like or dislike. Do not blame the mire.

Pray for the birth of lotus out of it.

July 13, 1968

Be steady and have conviction that you will reach your goal-do not get disturbed

by any remarks. The Scriptures are revealed in the hearts of the seers. Everyone

does not have the same revelation. One who sees all with equality knows all and

understands where they belong.

Peace gives birth to joy which is like a child’s mind-does not care about anything.

When joy gets deeper-it’s bliss-deeper still and it changes to Ananda- a state when

one enjoys ecstasy in apparent adversities.

When the senses get keen power due to deep concentration, one sees and hears

like that. They come and go-have nothing to do with real spiritual advancement.

July 19, 1968

I do not bask in the vanity of being a guru. I am just a company in your Quest- may

be a few steps ahead. Nothing more than that. I never object to your going to

anyone. You must go wherever you find truth, light and bliss. Similarly, try to avoid

places that bring depression or disturbance. You will realize all these of your own.

Anyway, do not have adverse feelings for anyone.

August 9, 1968

The lamp in your own heart has lighted your surroundings. Likewise see Him in

everyone. Be established in the truth that All is verily He.

September 7, 1968

Be like the tranquil and radiant sky.

September 20, 1968

There is no guaranty that you will reach the Divine by doing tapasya and remain

mute (maun) for 15/16 years. Divine is nothing external- the peaceful, pure and

luminous Ananda of your self is He. Proceed with an untiring effort to manifest

That within yourself. The real thing is peace. When your mind attains tranquillity,

not disturbed by external turmoil, finds harmony all around and is filled with a

happiness unaccounted for, know then that there is progress. The responsibility to

achieve that is yours and only yours.

LETTERS FROM MARCH 1969 TO NOVEMBER 1973

March 8, 1969

Why are you getting so upset? Nothing has happened to you. Do not get swayed

away by the lures of attachment. If needed, be rigid but without any indignation.

Why should you be a weakling? Flare up like a flame but remain calm inside. Be

lofty and unyielding as mountain - nothing should affect you.

March 28, 1969

Periodically there might be such a low-tide in sadhna. Do not get disturbed by that.

Always remember, you do not have anything but the Divine-even if He does not

respond-you still belong to Him and to no one else.

Prayer means to light the lamp within yourself. It is not just a mere verbal

expression, rather a mental alertness and a wakeful perseverance. The real prayer

is to feel the Presence always and everywhere.

May 4, 1969

Do not try to reduce sleep. You have to have enough food and sleep required for

the body. Rather try to have a deep and peaceful sleep. If you remain calm and

undisturbed during the day, sleep will automatically turn brighter. Eventually,

sleep will transform to Samadhi.

June 20, 1969

(1) Different gods and goddesses are verily different manifestations of the

Supreme Godhead. According to sanskaras and individual inclinations, one can

worship any personal god and eventually reach the One and only One Godhead. It

is something like reaching the same ocean by different inlets.

(2) Karmic Law is the force that is steering the present life. Yoga or Knowledge

can overrule that Karmic law. Both of them lead inward which is the opposite of

attachment to activities. Karma is increased when we turn outward and decreased

when we turn inward.

(3) Since everything is Sat Chit and Ananda, where else can one go after death

except in That? But everyone does not understand that. Coming and going is not

possible till that understanding dawns- which does not happen to all. One who has

realised the self at least to a certain degree, will come and go. The rest sink in Him.

From one point of view everybody has the same end since there is no other but

Him. Whereas, from another point, the results are different after death as they are

here. The soul can be in any of the three states after death- as in sleep. Some may

sink in inconscience, some may have in dreams and again some may remain awake

in conscious sleep. With funeral rites we try to shake off the inconscience with

terrestrial consciousness.

(4) Reincarnation can not be proved except by instinctive feelings. Spiritual

practice can easily be continued without belief in the theory of Rebirth. It does not

exist either in Christianity or in Islam.

(5) Evolution is an on-going process. Everyday you can see vividly that Matter is

gradually evolving to Consciousness.

(6) Mind and Soul are different states of existence. When consciousness is

wavering like a flame flickering in wind, then it is mind. When it is steady and

unwavering like flame in a windless area then it is soul. Soul has both concentrated

and spatial states. The example of a curtain does not apply here. Mind is rather a

disturbed condition of the soul. Both are essentially consciousness.

July 12, 1969

Unless and until the inside is calm, one can not receive the directions from the

Inner Being. Even if received, it can not be understood. We keep on making plans

for the future with our limited knowledge infested with fear, doubts and worries.

The result is sometimes good and sometimes bad. Of course, even if one acts

according to the directions received from Him, the results might not always be

pleasant. But when there is peace in mind, we can accept even the unpleasant

results as His Gifts.

Try to surrender completely. Success will not come in a day but someday it surely

will.

September 13, 1969

Bring light and more light in your mind. Pleasure and pain both are false. You

are beyond that. You are peaceful, you are propitious, you are effulgent- try to

nurture this thought always.

October 10, 1969

Forget the past completely. Everything that happens in life pushes us Godwards.

Male attachment to females is a natural law- a law to continue Creation. Nobody

is completely free from that. But for one who understands the reason and can get

over that, the momentary illusion can open the gate for salvation.

It is good that the illusion is over with a mental appeasement. Do not repent any

more. Now move forward in life with a clean heart and bold steps.

March 15, 1970

The sanskaras(deep rooted beliefs inherited by birth) are hard to give up. We

follow one or the other as long as we live. Some of them are hindrances to our

sadhna- they are bad ones. Some of them are help to sadhna- they are good ones.

The first step is to reject the bad ones and the second is to acquire the good ones.

And the last is to give up both and be free from all sanskaras. It is like using a nail

to drive out another and to discard both eventually. The soul is free from all

sanskaras. So is a realised one. But outwardly he has to follow certain good

sanskaras to set up example for others to give up the bad ones. Yet he does not

have any prejudice against those who still follow the bad sanskaras nor does he

have partiality for those who follow good ones. Of course, that is very hard to

understand from outside.

Your concept about soul is a very good one. Whatever you have understood with

intellect and reason, try to realize that in your heart-that was my topic of

discussion this time. That is why I was repeatedly mentioning about innate

feelings. Many a times we confuse the concept of soul with the concept of body-

to realize the Divine we convert Him to matter. Yet body is real too and matter

has latent power. But in order of priority, the first and foremost are feelings and

perceptions. Then comes body, matter etc. I might have told you something based

on this - I do not remember. Since your mind is clear, there is no need discussing

that.

I do not practice being a guru- that is my sanskara, and have no complain against

one who does. A Guru is a Force of eternal Truth-this is not to be discussed. Those

who are prejudiced will not understand and will create serious problems. For this

reason, many use the term ‘adviser’ instead of ‘guru’. An adviser is also a guru.

Anyway, hope all doubts about guru have been cleared.

April 5, 1970

I can not accept anyone as a great man, if he gets perturbed with the phrase ‘Only

Divine is the true Guru’. Both in the Gita and in the Swetaswetar Upanishad, The

Lord has been denoted as the Greatest of Beings. A human being can attain

divinity only by the Grace of the Supreme. I would call the so-called great man

ungrateful, if he gets upset because the Divine is called the Greatest of Beings and

the Supreme Guru. The true guru is he who can tell his disciples to be like him. This

is what God, the First of Gurus is asking us from the first day of creation. This

Divine Inspiration works through the human gurus. The body, mind and behaviour

of the human guru is covering the Divine in him. The God-lover disciple will not be

able to see the Divine Presence in his guru, if he can not see the Divine

everywhere. He would only imagine that his guru is god. One has to accept as a

postulate ‘The Lord is my guru.’ He is glorious as Sun and one should meditate on

Him as instructed in the Gita(ch.8,sl.9). In that verse even Sri Krishna Himself has

spoken about that Transcendental aspect of Divine which is beyond the Personal

aspect. The deep desire of every real guru is to remove the veil between his

disciple and the Divine. That is the reason why he offers all his disciple’s oblation

to the Divine. A disciple should also have the feeling that his human guru is an

image of the Supreme Guru, Whom he wants to reach through the human guru.

One should rather meditate on the inner being of the guru than on his outer being-

even Patanjali has mentioned that. The mantra of meditation is “Brahmanandam

Paramasukhadam etc.” That is how a guru should be looked upon.

That particular Vedic term denotes an ever-flowing fountain. The Divine source of

Knowledge, Force and Love is that fountain which flows through the guru. One

should always keep that in mind.

Periodically, inertia pervades the whole system. Do not get upset by that. That is

like nightfall in the world of sadhna. The mind acquire strength in quietude and

wakes up with full vigour. You must stay calm and alert even at that time and must

remain wakeful without asking for anything. Gradually that inertia will pass away.

March 24, 1972

I was not annoyed by your question and nor shall I ever be in future. The Gita says

that knowledge has to be acquired by inquiries, service and humility. Hence till the

knots of your heart are loosened, you definitely have the right to question. The

more you go inside, the more you get the clearer vision of past, present and

future. When you have the clear idea of what you have received till now, you will

have no doubt about the future. When the river knows that she is going to meet

the ocean, she flows in happy assurance- no more does she have the unruly

arrogance of youth. A continuous effort to remain deep inside is the keynote of

sadhna. Only this much is for you to do-success depends on Grace. And you have

to remain calm for that too. Tranquillity enhances power, brings a quiet joy in

mind and from that quiet exaltation comes Ananda. And once you reach that state

there are no more doubts.

The Divine is enwrapping us as space, air, light; invigorating us as life-breath in

every movement of respiration; transmitting His Ananda in thousand ways; yet we

cry out ‘Where are you? Why don’t you answer to my repeated calls?’ This silly

and irrational obstinacy is a barrier to overcome. We have always to feel His

Presence in mind, life and even in body. As a fetus in the womb is nourished by

what the mother intakes, similarly, we are receiving our nourishment of power

and consciousness from the Supreme Source. And this feeling has to be nurtured

by continuous and habitual remembrance- that is the only way. To avoid mundane

company as much as possible, keep company of pious people and study books that

help us to find the Way these are conducive to purification of mind. When the

mind is purified, the Light will emerge gradually like the rising of the Sun. The

Divine Light dawn by Itself. It does not appear through the painful process of

lighting a match by repeated strokes.

The way you are trying to keep His memory alive by repeating Aum in every breath

is the correct one and very effective. If you can keep the same memory alive with

deep reverence to someone that too is good. It is always helpful to establish some

kind of kinship like He is my father, or She is my mother, or friend, or beloved or

even my everything. ‘You are my all, O! my King of kings!’ Hold Him in your heart

and proceed with certitude and diligence.

April 18, 1972

Your allegiance and support will be remembered till the last day. Be that Light in

which I am, revealed to you.

May 24, 1972

Do not torture yourself with the thought that you are not being able to do

anything for me. What else could anybody have done from so far away? This is His

Will and I am in perfect bliss. All suffering must and will end when the bubble

merges into the Deep. Life is worth living only when we are conscious of that every

moment. Remain calm and be full of light and bliss.

July 16, 1972

I am still the same- doing well because He Is. You too be well in the midst of light

and bliss.

September 17, 1972

May be there is a slight betterment in my physical condition-neither do I feel that

nor do I care. I am floating with the current of peace. Not too many days to go.

Hence there is no worry.

October 19, 1972

The up and down in sadhna are natural like the rotation of day and night.

Sometimes it is light and sometimes it is dark. But whatever may come, if we

remain steadfast in our thinking and accept everything as gifts from Him, then

slowly the darkness disappears. We do realize that even in the midst of darkness,

there is nothing to aspire for other than Him. And when the Eternal Light flashes

with all Its splendour, mind can not comprehend that, only intuition can. Surrender

yourself totally and completely.

November 9, 1972

The fire of destructive restlessness is spreading not only in Assam but in the whole

of India-nay, the whole world. Once the counter-acting consciousness spreads out

all over the world, one is bound to receive its message. A Yogi cannot remain idle

at that time. He becomes an instrument of the Divine Will and applies That against

the demonic forces. Of course, the result does not come in a day. The process of

emergence of consciousness through the thick veil of inconscience is always

extremely slow. But keep in mind the assurance ‘Victory follows Righteousness’

and fight against the demonic forces- that is nothing less than an offering, a part of

worship. Meditate on this and unite the forces of asceticism with that of heroism

as per the dictum of Gita.

February 14, 1973

The fact that you found happiness in traveling, makes me happy. Life is not fulfilled

without knowing one’s own country. One who clings to his local native area is

nothing but a frog in a well. And all contentions are created by the narrowness of

mind.

Your cravings and tears for Him can never go unheeded. You will surely receive the

Ananda and peace you desire, because Ananda and peace are parts of His Nature

and your true self. To receive them is your birthright.

The sadhna for bringing down Peace is to be followed before anything else.

Ananda will automatically come with Peace. Once we attain that state of Ananda,

distress and grief will not touch us any more. The curtain of inconscience will be

drawn away.

As you continue with this sadhna during your waking moments, it gradually will

seep in your dreams too. Then waking and dream states will become the same and

you will enjoy the ecstasy of Samadhi in the sate of dreamless sleep.

Eventually, you will go beyond death and become immortal even in mortal life

because in reality you are a deathless free spirit. Under all conditions you are one

with Him.

This is your goal. Study the Gita regularly and repeat Aum in every breath.

I am feeling little better physically since the winter is over. But the weakness is

increasing. Yet weakness is nothing but one aspect of Peace.

April 7, 1973

Life is a Kurukshetra both inside and out. Hold onto the feet of the divine

Charioteer firmly in heart and fight fearlessly like Arjuna.

April 24, 1973

Everyone grieves for me- only you have handed me over to Him. This gives me

such an immense happiness and satisfaction! Please do not come down at others’

level. This material body is not everything- it is bound to fall off. But the One inside

the body is Imperishable, Unchangeable. It is a Flame that can not be extinguished.

May 5, 1973

My condition is the same. Do not be distressed for my sake. Proceed on the Way

towards the Light in happy and peaceful mind.

May 20, 1973

The goal is to reach Sat-Chit -Ananda by going beyond the world of name and

form. It is like losing individual existence as a bubble does when it merges into the

ocean. Since we won’t have a body after death, and neither you nor I will have any

separate existence, how are we going to meet? This kind of demand is nothing but

a sign of ignorance. Get over that.

I do not know about future, nor am I curious to know. But the only certitude is that

we will reach Him. Hence I do not know what will happen to you or me nor am I

least concerned. As a river feels the pull of ocean on its way, similarly, the

attraction of Sat-Chit-Ananda every moment brings the surety of our ultimate end.

Somehow or other we will merge into that Ocean- that is an assurance from the

Divine and the only hope for humanity.

June 5, 1973

I am almost the same. Peace is Consciousness, Peace is Ananda. And Peace,

Consciousness and Ananda all are different facets of the True Reality.

June 16, 1973

It is very good that you feel like singing in His Praise. This is the path shown by

Mahapravu Sri Krishna Chaitanya. The Lord also has said in the Gita, ’I am

SamVeda in all Vedas.’ And Samveda is the veda of songs. Worship Him with songs

without any hesitation.

July 17, 1973

The storm is the storm of His Will, blowing over the universe carrying His Power.

But why should we consider ourselves dry leaves? Because we will unite our will

with His and be driven by the speed of that hurricane, yet all along knowing that

the calm blue sky is there- just beyond and above the storm.

July 24, 1973

There is no change in my condition. Do not worry. As the daylight wanes away so

am I gradually dissolving in Him, Who is both Light and Darkness in one. Is not that

wonderful?

September 11, 1973

Whatever the outer situation is, if you can go inward, you will have peace.

The sky is always and everywhere overhead- nobody can take that way from you.

You can pull that outer sky inside, no matter where you are, and only that sky

contains peace, light and Ananda.

October 16, 1973

You will surely reach Him. This much I can say with certitude. It is because He is

pulling you towards Him that is why you are wanting Him with such a concentrated

mind. This will never be in vain.

But when? That depends on His will. There should be eagerness but not

restlessness. Restlessness is a hindrance to sadhna- an obstacle to unconditional

surrender.

November 13, 1973

You are helping me out every month. This is your offering to me. But the greater

offering is your faith in my saying and following the Path accordingly. There is no

dearth of listeners. But how many of them truly follow?

Of course there is a relation between body and mind. A wild animal is healthiest.

According to Biology, insects have no disease; only birth and death. But how

powerful is their mind?

The body is dependent on matter- so by following certain material laws, one can

have a very healthy body. But mind is a manifestation of Consciousness. The

radiant power of Consciousness can overcome the hindrances of matter to a very

great extent. Likewise even the physical suffering can be transformed to the flame

of penance. But the ignorant men, boastful about their extreme good health are

unable to do that. Slight headache makes them run to the doctor. Where is their

power?

November 17, 1973

Offer everything to His Feet and march forward in ecstasy. Fulfillment is sure to

come.

LETTERS FROM APRIL1974 TO MAY 1978

April 14, 1974

My condition is the same. I should say I am okay. The auspicious moment of

eternal union is coming nearer every moment. Hence there is no complain.

Tomorrow is new year. My hearty blessings to you. Your sincerity and devotion will

carry you to your goal. All of us are going to the same Absolute though some by

straight and some by winding paths. He is within everybody. what is there to worry

then?

April 17, 1974

No matter whatever the situation is, if we can think of it as His Plan instead of

human manipulation, that will bring true felicity. He is revving us up inwardly with

outward attacks- that is how you should look at life. One who can do that is saved.

If you can go inward and saturate yourself with His thoughts, you will find each

and every moment of suffering is being blessed with His presence- you do not have

to wait for the Presence any more.

July 14, 1974

Whatever had to happen has happened. Do not be least worried about it, You

have not done even the slightest wrong.

Help your relatives financially as much as you can, but do not get involved or do

not pull them towards you. Otherwise, peace will be disturbed.

Remember, peace is the first step towards reaching God and to feel Him in heart.

The path is long and arduous. Do not lose hope by occasional failings.

I have already outlived the life that was allotted to

me according to my horoscope. I do not know how long it will continue like this.

everything happens according to His Will. I have not come to this world of my own

accord, nor have I done any work as my own. Whenever He chooses he will call

and I will go with a smile.

September 15, 1974

Do not do anything to your relatives with hesitation nor expect any returns. Love is

rare in this world. when the heart is filled with Ananda, then only one understands

what Love means. How many people understand that? You have received His Love.

What else do you want?

November 10, 1974

All gods and goddesses are Bibhutis of Brahman. Bibhuti is not an imagination, it is

manifestation of Shakti. Brahman has infinite and variegated Shakti. Hence the

gods and goddesses are infinite in number too. We choose one of these

innumerable forms of Shakti according to our sanskaras and personal inclination

and worship that. Once the inner being is absorbed in worship, all forms submerge

in Brahman- the only perception remains is of Sat-Chit-Ananda.

The Christians and the Muslims are worshippers of Formless Brahman. Hence they

do not understand the purport of worshipping Personal God nor can they tolerate

it.

The Vedas have described Brahman with the simile of the Sun. The rays of the Sun

are like the innumerable gods of the Purana. All rays consolidated in the Sun-that

is Qualified Brahman. The Divine Mother Durga of the Tantra, with Her ten arms, is

a depiction of that.

Behind the Sun is the formless sky. That is the Unqualified Brahman. From

variegated rays one lustrous Sun and from that the endless sky. That is how the

spiritual perception goes.

Even the Buddhists accept that, but not the Christians and Muslims. But they too

believe in angels and djins.

P.S. The Vedas, gods and goddesses are all outcome of spiritual sights of the great

seers. Their carriers are the symbol of power e.g. lion for bravery; lotus for

devotion; ox for righteousness.

January 26, 1975

Bondage/freedom, deterioration/improvement-all exist in mind. Do not pay much

attention to the routine life. If you follow a discipline, then cooking, shopping,

going to work, sleeping everything will become secondary. These will continue as if

in a rote. The inner being will be in the helm, and your outer life will be influenced

by Him too. I too have lived outer life like you only till the other day. At least, you

get regular vacation from office work but I had none. I worked like a menial

labourer for 21 hrs a day in the Ashram of my Guru. And that did not consist of the

different usual practices of a recluse, but it was regular hard household work. Even

in the midst of that I could separate outer life from the inner and that is why the

routine life had never troubled me. I was aware of my Self and remained free. You

are young, why should you not be able to do that?

I am still the same. Physically immovable but soaring high within.

March 9, 1975

It is true, very true that we really do not have anything to say or do except to

feel like a baby lying in the arms of its mother, free from all anxieties. Neither does

it have to say anything, nor do anything. Whatever has to be said, the mother says;

whatever has to be done, the mother does. For now, keep alive day and night this

kind of a sweet, quiet assurance and expectation. Gradually, you will feel the

Advent.

March 30, 1975

It is a very negligible issue. It does not behove you losing sleep at night with that

thought racing through your brain. One has to endure many insect-bites like that

in worldly life. You have to brush them aside.

This is just an outer calamity. The inner calamity is weakness of mind. You have to

be victorious in that combat to fulfill His Glory. In the Gita Sri Krishna told Arjuna,’

Why are you getting so distressed out of attachment to your kinsmen? This is

impotency- weakness of your heart. It is insignificant and worthless. Brush it off

and awake in your true self as a brave warrior.’

Wipe off all these insignificant thoughts with contemplation on the Divine. Do

intense japam. Calm your mind with deep meditation. Fall asleep with His name in

you lips.

April 13, 1975

I am going to expound my opinion as follows:

The practice of being a guru is a kind of business in our present society. I am not

going to transform religion to business. I can introduce myself as a ‘follower of the

Vedas’ and in the Vedas it is clearly stated, ’You can give advice to others as a

teacher but never receive anything from anyone without giving something first.’

There is no reference of whispering Mantra in the ear. A teacher can give spiritual

advice but I have never found any reference of a teacher as a saviour or bestower

of salvation.

Yet this is equally true that knowledge, in any form, has to be acquired from an

adept. And it is but natural that I would offer my teacher whatever is within my

means. BUT UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES, CAN A PRECEPTER SELL KNOWLEDGE.

Patanjali has said in his ‘Yogasutra,' that guru has a guru and that guru also has

another. In this order the Supreme Lord is the Original Guru. Accordingly, I

consider Lord as this Guru, and can not accept guru as Lord. I too have a guru I

revere and adore him and consecrated my whole life in his work. But not for a

single day did I feel that he was God or an incarnation of God. Nor did he himself

said that ever. But due to excessive devotion, his disciples have placed him even

over the Divine. I consider this the limit of foolhardiness.

I believe that all of us are going towards the Supreme Lord spurred by the Divine

Goad. Some are ahead of us and some are behind. But we are all brothers. In the

words of Sri Ramakrishna, ’I am neither a guru, nor a master, nor a father to

anyone.’

For this reason when Usha of Shillong started calling me Rishida, I did not object. I

am a follower of the Vedas, hence I am a part of the family of rishis , I am a

friend to everyone, hence I am an older brother (dada). Therefore, I am Rishida.

But even this is a human attribution. In reality I am Anirvan (unextinguishable), not

Parivrajakacharya Paramahansa Srimat Swami Nirvanananda Saraswati. Though,

this title was due to me as head of the Saraswat Ashram after my initiation from

my guru to sannyasa. But it did not suit me.

You can say this much about me, ’I get various advice regarding my sadhna from

Anirvan. But he does not initiate anyone nor does he practice as a guru. He says,

‘The Dweller in your heart is your true Guru. He is the Supreme Lord. We all are His

children, hence we are all brothers.’ We call Anirvan Rishida, ask him questions to

clear our doubts and he tries to solve them.’ If you really feel bad because I do not

believe in the so-called theory of guru, then you can say, ‘The Lord is my Spiritual

Guide and all great men of this world are my teachers. Rishida is our fellow disciple

of the same Guru. We have Rishida very close to us-that is the specialty of our

relationship.’ You have understood my feelings, now you decide what to say.

June 29, 1975

Once a week, only on Sundays, I deal with correspondence. How do I do that? I

attach a postcard on a thin board and lying flat on my back, I write as slowly as

possible. It is very painful, because though my mind and vital are still bright and

radiant but the body is getting powerless day by day. I get tired by talking too.

Almost the whole day passes with eyes closed. The end is nearing.

At this time, your letter is a bolt from the blue. How can I write to you the details

of all religions? Neither do I have strength nor do I have time. Before I left Shillong,

I gave you the complete volume of Gospel of Sri Ramakrishna. You will find the

essence of World Religion in there- the detailed commentary you will find in the

writings of Sri Aurobindo. I have discussed the philosophy of Sri Aurobindo in great

depth in quite a few books. I have expounded elaborately, though incomplete, the

Vedic religion the three volumes of Veda-Mimansa.You have to know your own

religion in depth first, then only you can understand others’.

The essential Reality in every religion is the same. Hinduism says, ‘Brahman is the

only Reality, rest is all false.’ Christianity says, ‘God is only Reality, rest is all false.’

Buddhism says, ‘Nothingness is only Reality, rest is all false.’ Sri Ramkrishna says,

‘Reaching God is the only goal in life, rest is all false.’

All of them are saying about the One Supreme Truth in different languages, in

different ways. The Supreme Truth is in your Self-Realisation. By forgetting that

and going in different direction, you are choosing whey over butter. What can one

do? That is the illusory playfulness of the Divine Mother. Any way, I do not want to

disappoint you completely. If you write your questions weekly in a card, I shall

answer. Today was just the introduction.

July 13, 1975

Your letter confounded me completely. This is the first time, I am being accused of

confusing people by merely quoting from the Upanishads.

I am wondering, if you deserve to receive the answers to your questions, because

nowhere else except in the Kathopanisad, has the mystery of Death being narrated

with so much clarity. Sleep, Death, Samadhi, Annihilation-all have the same Root.

In youth, I came to know about them, initially, from the Upanishads. Later, after

prolonged sadhna, the Grace of Vedamata let me have the direct experience.

Whatever I have experienced, I express in words; anything I have not, I never voice

that out to anyone. Now I find, as per your judgment, I have only created

confusion throughout my life. Let it be so. Not only do I KNOW this but I FEEL and

SEE with my open eyes that everything is verily the Brahman.

As long as mind is in the mire of Ignorance, the play of duality continues. Then one

is virtuous and the other is a thief. According to you only the honest one is

Brahman but the dishonest one is not. This is really a unique piece of information!

All glory to your rationality!

Dear Brother! There should be a limit to audacity. In this case I shall follow Manu,

our great Law-Maker and will not answer your improper questions. You will

misunderstand. You can clear your doubts by asking another realised being.

July 20, 1975

By the stroke of rarest luck, you have gotten admittance into the mango-grove of

the Master.* Now taste the mangoes to your heart’s content. After that, if you still

want to, figure out the number of trees in the grove, number of branches in each

tree and number of leaves in each branch. Nothing is gained by that other than

some kind of satisfaction of intellect. It does not fulfill the heart’s desire. On the

other hand one gets more confused with the jargon of verbosity. I pray to Lord

that He rescues you from that misguided zeal.

* The reference is from the Gospel of Sri Ramakrishna.

July 27, 1975

Innumerable aspects of different forces are hidden in the fathomless depth of our

mind that are unknown to our outward senses. Against our will they do attack us

occasionally and totally devastate our intellect. An evil force like that was trying to

completely mislead you by arousing in you a desire to reach God by the path of

argument and reason. That is the influence of present age. Your path is one of

simple faith and devotion-like a baby clinging to its mother’s breast. You are

gradually proceeding along the path. It will not do you any good, if you suddenly

change your direction and pay heed to the suggestions to follow the course of

reason. That is why I did hurt you in last letters. Before anything, have Him in heart

out of love. Having Him in mind will follow automatically. Then He will make you

understand everything as He did with Sri Ramakrishna or Ma Anandamayee.

What happens after death can be known only in deep meditation, when in the

process of ascension our waking world (Mental field) enters dream state(illumined

field) and the dream state enters into dreamless sleep (Anandalok), then we enter

into the Mystery of the Universe, which is also an area on Eternity. We do not

comprehend everything there, nor is that needed. Like a saline doll we melt into

the Ocean. If He decides that we should know something in particular, He makes it

known to us by lighting the lamp in our heart in a flash.

‘When Shall I reach Him?’ This question itself will draw you more to the center of

illusion. Just remain steadfast in the path. Your feeling should be like, ’Whether

You come to me or not, I am not leaving You.’ When conscious sleep (Yoganidra)

will be natural to you, you will automatically understand the mystery of rebirth. It

could be dangerous to poke into it beforehand. Do not be impatient. Remain one-

pointed. That is the way to reach your goal.

August 10, 1975

First thing first. Reach the Divine before anything else. Yours is the path of Bhakti

(devotion). The more you are absorbed in His name, the more your mind will be

free of blemishes and pride. Gradually your ego will merge into Him. Then He will

let you know all that has to be known.

You can and must ask questions that will help you in your sadhna. As long as I can,

I will answer them.

October 20, 1975

Eagerness for the Divine is definitely desirable, but that too should be a tranquil

eagerness. An inner feeling of complete surrender, continuous repetition of, ’I am

Yours,’ and every moment feeling a lover’s intense pain of separation from the

beloved- these are all that is needed. He will appear wherever and whenever He

Wills. But I have an unflinching faith that HE WILL APPEAR.

He is the only Guide and sole Master. We must do whatever He makes us do,

without any doership of our own.

That I am lagging behind is a doubt born of Inconscience. The proper feeling

should be like, ‘Through rise and fall He is pulling me towards Him. I am holding

onto Him in a tight grip- every moment receiving His touch in the surrounding

atmosphere.’

The continuous throbbing pain of not having Him is a harbinger heralding the

ultimate Union. You have to bear it.

The two dreams you mentioned, show your eagerness for the Lord. They are good

dreams-symbolic of a speedy union.

Overcome all hurdles with quiet valour. Victory is yours.

November 9, 1975

The body must fall. But we have to keep the inner flame kindled all along. Then

only we can reach Him in the midst of Glory and Light. The tiny spark of this life

will merge into that All Pervading Effulgence.

December 9, 1975

There are two kinds of dreams-the haphazard meaningless one at the mundane

level and the other one at the level of higher wisdom. A yogi, after internal

purification has the latter kind of dreams. In that kind of dreams, one can have

glimpses of heavenly places, heavenly beings and great souls. With refined mind

one can feel oneness with these great souls, though they might belong to different

times and places. Eventually when one is established in the Gnostic plane, the

visions continue even in waking state.

Your dreams still have the effect of Rajas( like hurrying to catch a train) or Tamas(

like falling into a deep gorge). It is hard to get completely rid of these. That is one

of the reasons why sometimes sudden attacks of desire bring disastrous blows

even to very advanced aspirants.

Do not be afraid or depressed by these.

February 8, 1976

Little by little, He is coming nearer to us through our pang of separation. Nay, it is

wrong to say, ‘coming nearer.’ The truth is He is wrapping us around as space and

air and light. This is not a belief-this is a direct experience. Once you have that,

belief changes to faith and suffering changes to sweetness. Can we say that

because You are ‘dressed in sorrow,' I will turn you away? Should I say that this

Pain is not You? All my pain and pleasure, have and have-not -everything is You.

You are not only in union, but in separation too. You are embodied as

Consciousness even in Matter. I won’t say You are only Consciousness and not

Matter. I would say Matter is You, Consciousness is You. This is not a mere

utterance or belief- this is again a direct experience.

Now start being like a baby cat.* Does a baby cat not get the touch of its mother?

Do not lose patience. I can see you are getting there. One has to come to Form

from the Formless. The sky is formless, air is formless and then breaks in the

Radiant Effulgence. All is He. Once you realize that, hold onto Him, touch Him,

embrace Him, talk to Him.

* The reference is from Gospel of Sri Ramakrishna. Sri Ramakrishna is referring to

two types of Bhaktas- baby monkey and baby cat. The baby monkeys hold on

tightly and cling to their mothers while the mothers jump from one branch of the

tree to another. Whereas the baby cats don’t do anything. With eyes closed they

wait for their mother to pick them up and carry them from place to place. The

baby monkeys might have a chance to fall or come to harms, since they depend on

their own strength, but the baby cats have no fear, since they completely depend

on the mother and the mother is taking full charge.

March 21, 1976

You are confusing lower nature with higher. In the first one, there is the opposites

like love and hate, in the higher mind there is Knowledge or Love or both which

are beyond duality. Real Love is beyond liking and disliking and Ananda is its

essence. If you can love someone in that sense, then your beloved will get the

touch of Divinity in your company and will never forget you. Even in refusal, there

will be no malice. On the contrary humbly he/she would say, ‘Oh, my Cruel one,

whatever you have done, all is for my good.’

Try to get the deeper meaning of what I said. Even if you do not get, there is no

harm. Forget everything else and call Him. He will make clear to you the Mysteries

of His Love.

April 4, 1976

The burning sensation that Rabindranath has mentioned, does not pertain to any

specific incident. We are completely oblivious of God and run outwards attracted

by sensory objects. But that is not His Will. Hence He keeps alive in our heart the

pang of separation and a burning desire for fulfillment of unfulfilled Love. Then

prosperity turns to poison. Yet we are still entangled in worldly life. Then He sets

fire to that desire for sense-objects. That all-engulfing fire singes us on all sides.

But paradoxically we get a tremendous satisfaction because we know the

scorching is coming from Him. Then we cry out, ‘Your cruelty is kindness to me.’

April 11, 1976

Ordinary mind creates difference between Form and Formless. Hence when we

want Him with ordinary mind, we want Him either with Form (the devotees or

Bhaktas) or without Form(the wise or Jnanis) But God is both at the same time. So

to know Him only as either is not the complete knowledge. Intellect can not clear

this doubt, only Intuition can. Only with intuition one knows how God is

simultaneously with AND without Form. That the blue water from afar and the

colourless water from near is the same, is an understanding and not an analysis of

intellect. It is not easy. For a long, long time one has to go back and forth from

Personal to Impersonal till one comes to the state which Sri Ramakrishna explains

as, ‘understanding with Understanding’ You will reach that state in a few years-

that is what I hinted at the other day.

We imagine the Divine Mother Durga with ten arms or four arms out of sanskara.

Those are theoretical figures. In essentiality she has two arms. Don’t we see Her in

every family? She is simultaneously in Universal forms and Beyond all forms. When

we have Her conception in totality, then only we will understand the Presence of

Truth both in Personal and Impersonal Manifestations.

April 24, 1976

Do not feel distressed while awaiting. ‘One who chooses the Divine is chosen by

the Divine’- and little by little one feels His Presence. It does not matter how long

it takes to reach the goal. He is with you, why worry?

May 2, 1976

Surrender all your worries of future to the Lord. He never tests anyone by putting

him/her in an awkward situation. In infinite kindness, every moment He is drawing

everyone towards Him. But the human nature submerged in Ignorance, blame Him

with the false accusation of being a Cruel Master. Now, you may argue that we fall

into Ignorance due to His Will only. Could He not make us pure and wise to start

with? Think of the whole thing in this way. When He incarnates in the midst of us,

even against all adversities and impurities, His Pure Being exudes Radiance. When

humanity as a whole will realize that, it will be able to conquer all fear and

misgivings and realize too that all the crooked complexities are created to let loose

our inborn latent power so that with those powers we can fight against them. That

is one of the purposes of Avtarhood too.

The world is a combination of truth and falsehood. But beyond that is purity and

transparency. You have surrendered to Him. Even if you have to give up your

selected guru in order to reach truth, do not hesitate. had Swami Vivekananda

been initiated by Paohari Baba, I know Sri Ramakrishna would never object. The

True guru wants to loosen the knots, not to bind anyone.

Do not take notice of any man. Your sole aim is God and only God. a human being

is just an instrument to get Him. The path is sometimes crooked and winding. Try

to understand this in a quiet and composed mind. Remain calm and do not be

restless. Do not pay any heed to any suggestion of fear.

May 24, 1976

I do not chalk out any rigid course for sadhna, because in that case one’s own ego

poses as the greatest obstacle in the path. It does not allow His Will to flow in

naturally.

Yet this indiscipline has to maintain a rigid discipline. And that is love Him Every

Moment, and to be ABSORBED in His thought. Repeat AUM or the NAME ALWAYS,

better if you can do that with every movement of respiration. Think of Him, Whose

Name you are repeating as the Dweller in your heart. If you do the japam always,

you will naturally talk less and live inwards. You won’t even feel like indulging in

useless talks. Do japam during the whole day and meditate every day in the

morning, evening and at night before going to bed. Always keep this thought alive

in your mind that you are not doing the sadhna, He Who is residing within your

heart is making you do the sadhna. Avoid mundane company as much as possible.

If you continue with your sadhna like this with your heart fully surrendered to Him,

He will tell you what to do.

May 30, 1976

Do not be worried about me. I get body wash four times a day with thehelp of the

nurses. I feel very cool. Electric fan does not suit my constitution. Whenever

needed, I had always remained physically cool by fanning myself with a manual

fan.

I am a Sannyasi- as per Gita, an eternal sannyasi. Forbearance, dependence on

God, acceptance of all frictions of opposites like heat and cold, pain and pleasure

as His Blessings- these are what I have followed all along. Do you want that I

should fall from my path at the tail end of my life?

I have never asked anything from anyone, never done self-propagation, never

collected disciples. Had I done all these , I could have started an Ashram in a three-

storyed building. I hate these from the core of my heart.

All of us should have only one aim- depending on Him for everything. Some day or

other everybody has to die. But that should be a Luminous Death(Vaivaswat

Mrityu)- let that be our sole desire.

June 13, 1976

As merging the whole mind in God is one way of being with Him, so also thinking

of Him every moment and work for Him as His instrument is another way. Both

have to be practiced simultaneously.

There is NO SINGLE EASY METHOD of having Him. One should follow his/her

heart’s desire. Initially, you can think of Him according to the different moods and

modes, but try to keep the feeling alive that all methods end up in the perception

of Him as all pervading sky overhead.

Initially, everything seems hard. It is foolishness to leave one method and go for

another. With perseverance and prolonged practice one becomes steady. Nothing

can be achieved by being restless.

Everyone’s cherished deity is Brahman-Knowledge, Devotion, Action- whichever

way we may choose- every path meets at the same end. The seed of Brahman is

AUM. Repeat AUM with every breath.

Only Brahman is Truth, rest of the creation is false-this is the initial thought. Later,

one comes to realize that because Brahman is Truth, that is why the whole

creation as manifestation of Brahman is even a greater Truth.

Brahman is the Eternal Guru-that is the original idea. Guru is Brahman is an

imposed idea.

June 20, 1976

I do not remember the context. So I do not remember what I told you regarding

that. The way to illumine your future is to keep on forgetting your past as you walk

on. The only future for man is to realize the Eternal Reality. Clinging to past

manners and habits creates obstructions to that. Pay no heed to them. It is not

right either to have an eagerness to explain things to others. Whatever had to

happen has happened. Now try to be easy as if nothing has happened.

July 4, 1976

Do not hesitate to do anything. But whatever you do, do it easily. If you want to

read a book, you must read. Reading a good book and listening to good discourse

are the same thing. Try to clear all doubts and enhance your energy and

enthusiasm, it will be easy to call Him.

But do not read books with the object of becoming a pedantic. If you read with

inwardness, you will gradually find that many a times one essential truth has been

expounded to the extent of creating a tome. At that stage, you would not want to

read too many books.

Remember, Divine can be known and realised ONLY by love- not by reading a

whole library of books.

To see Him in a flash is an auspicious sign- that is His Blessing. That vision can be

obtained way before attaining the goal. He comes to our perception and says,

‘Look, I am hear, I am the only Truth.’ With that vision all doubts dispel, depression

disappear, restlessness turns to peacefulness and that flash of Infinity gives a

glimpse of Total Existence. With spiritual practice and discipline that glimpse turns

to a steady Glow.

But you must always remember, that you are not doing any spiritual practice, He is

making you do that. With that thought constant in your mind ,when you depend

upon Him completely, there will be no more any restlessness.

July 25, 1976

Your dreams are supported by fear which in turn is nurtured in our sub-conscious

state. Fear is darkness. If you remain in the state of bright fearlessness during the

day and worship the Lord of Light, imagine that every atom of your body is

vibrating with solar energy, then that Tamasic sleep will slowly turn into a Sattwick

one.

All sadhna is sadhna of Power.

August 22, 1976

Make your conception clear about the relation between guru and the disciple. I am

repeating what I have already stated earlier. The Supreme is the only Guru, a

human guru is his representative only. Sometimes He makes His Presence felt in a

human heart and shows the path. As a result, all obstacles are removed from the

path of Knowledge or Love. If that particular human being can walk along the way

shown by God, he does not need to have a human guru. One who can not do that,

will need a human guru but he/she must have a constant remembrance of the

Divinity. In that case, the guru is the means, the ultimate aim is God.

The realised souls are not God but close to God. Like the Sun they are incessantly

exuding power. When you cover your eyes, you shut even the Sun out. Similarly,

you will not understand the method of transmitting power by a realised guru if you

are blinded by the impurity and impatience due to the fact that you are not getting

an immediate answer to your incessant demands. It is a grave blunder for an

aspirant to become blind with fury at the sight of injustice or unfairness. An

aspirant has to conquer desire, anger and greed. Otherwise, nothing will happen.

You are not to judge anybody. He is the sole Chief Justice of the world play.

If your heart gets peace and light by praying to God earnestly, know that to be His

reply and direction. The light does not appear if one’s own desire or ego or

cunning rules the day. Ego covers up God. He too is helpless against that

misguided intellect. Even for Him there is no other way but to wait till eternity for

your awakening.

It is natural to have doubts about your own future. But I do not have any. Even if

you leave me I can’t leave you.

P.S. It is good to be occasionally in company of guru or other spiritual persons.

Company of holy men or reading good books are help to reach God. But it is

always better to be within yourself. ‘Oh my mind! stay within the Self. Do not

venture around to all and sundry places!’*

* A traditional devotional song

September 5, 1976

I am happy to get a touch of your clear thoughts in your last letter.

The inner meaning of the story of the jamun tree* is that humanity

misunderstands the Personified Godhead and imagines Him as someone within

the limits of its imagination. The tree is the Tree of Brahman, the fruits are

Avataras. No matter how Divine an Avatara is, a common man is bound to

misunderstand Him. One can not understand Him fully without being fully

identified with Him. But by being identified, there is no difference between Him

and me- all forms become formless. Yet the formless state is the foundation of all

forms.

This is a very subtle feeling. When the deeper understanding dawns after

prolonged reflection, the mystery will be clear to you.

Shambhabi initiation(diksha) does not wait for time. When a light is kindled n a

room that had been unlit for thousands of years, the darkness is not removed

gradually- in a flash everything becomes lighted.

In Shakti initiation, though there is no outward rituals, yet one has to wait for time,

the mind becomes gradually luminous as the twilight turns to dawn little by little

with the advent of the Sun.

The Supreme Guru has initiated you in that method.

*The story of the Jamun tree goes like this. Once, after the Battle of Kurukshetra,

Arjuna, still overwhelmed with the Viswarupa shown to him by Lord Krishna, was

singing out His praise. Lord Krishna smiled and asked Arjuna to go forward and

look at a certain jamun tree. Arjuna walked forth. Lo and behold! Each and every

black fruit in each and every bunch was nothing other than the Lord Krishna

Himself.

September 19, 1976

‘Everything is verily the Brahman.’ He is One and Without a second. This is the

ultimate realization of all methods of sadhna.

Initially, it is needed to cut asunder all worldly bondage with the strong

discriminative thought, ’This is not the End’ and ascend upwards. Once established

in the Ineffable, by Its Grace, we realize that Divine and only Divine is manifested

as everything- even the things left behind are nothing but the Divine. Then one

sees the Brahman, or Vasudeva, or the Divine Mother, or the Self in everything

and everywhere.

In the second stage, one goes even deeper with the vision of Enlightenment. We

see that all becomings- big or small- everything is Visibly He. Like Sri Ramakrishna

WE SEE a young female child as the Divine Mother and a young male Child as the

Divine Cowherd-Boy or Vasudeva.

Yet all these SEEINGS are nothing but fragmentary visions. One can see the Divine

in His Reality ONLY in the deepest depth of one’s own heart.

I feel scared to talk about all these lest you want to jump high and reach the sky

before making the earthly foundation strong enough.

The Way is long and arduous. With patience and perseverance and above all with

absolute devotion and surrender in all parts of the being, one has to LOVE Him.

Then He will make you understand what He is and what you are and what is at the

end of your sadhna.

November 21, 1976

There are peace and happiness is in merging the individual will with Divine Will.

The physical body is not meant only for suffering the disease, but also to taste the

sublime Existence-Consciousness-Bliss. The pain of illness is negligible to that and

once you sink in Him you do not even feel it. On the other hand, you start feeling

that this material body is not the only existence-deeper than it and above it, there

is a luminous divine body too. That body is engaged in eternal play with Him.

Our physical body is crippled with limitations and entangled with various

conditions of the physical world. The divine body is free from all that. That is the

Supramental body, which is free form all diseases or weakness.

The physical man is chained with the law of cause and effect of the physical world.

The divine being is free from all bondage, linked only with the Supreme Cause. At

this point on unification, feelings of likes and dislikes become insignificant.

If you follow me in your life, there will be no parting even after my death, because

the eternal I is immortal and so are you.

Go deep inside, try hard to become a witness of sleep. Many a mysteries of the

world beyond will be unveiled to you. This is what I hinted at in the Pathamandir.

As this physical illusory world is there, so also is the world of His play as well as the

Eternal world. One can simultaneously move around in all three. Do sadhna for

that.

November 24, 1976

Why are you getting morose with the thought that the thieves have stolen your

belongings? Why don’t you think, on the other hand, that because you were

getting too much attached to some external objects, the Divine has delivered

some teachings in the disguise of a thief?

Set a thief to catch another thief, you apply all your power to catch Him.

Concentrate your mind on Him under all circumstances. Accept both prosperity

and adversity as His gifts. Let His will be victorious.

December 26, 1976

We will cheat ourselves if we imitate the language or actions of a great soul, but

success is a must if we pursue his ideas and realised feelings.

Surrender everything to the Lord; every moment remember Him and proceed with

absolute dependence on Him. If you do that, your mind will be absorbed in Him

and effects of meditation will blossom by itself as peace, radiance and bliss.

Let your unwavering devotion make you worthy of entering in Him.

January 16, 1977

To wait for Him in Calm Eagerness and through that Eagerness getting His touch as

Unconditional Expansive Bliss- that is the innate(sahaja) yoga.

February 20, 1977

To know the Self and to know God- both are goals of our life. and the process of

sadhna for both is the same-that is to go inward. To be absorbed with external

affairs is adverse to that. Yet we have to have business with outside world. Work

there with one fourth of your mind and use the other three fourth in search of the

Divine. Do His work during waking hours and submerge in Him in sleep. He can be

reached ONLY after a long, alert and vigilant sadhna like that.

And once you have Him He will make you understand the mysteries of life and

death, the other world and the reality of supernatural experiences.

April 10, 1977

My physical condition is the same. Everything feels like a movement on the ocean

of Sat-Chit-Ananda. With our limited knowledge, we call them the waves of pain

and pleasure. In reality, they are the waves of Ananda, they are the waves of

Playful Enjoyment with Him in the vast Ocean of Rasa. Once the veil is removed,

one finds flavor in happiness as well as in sorrow and like a connoisseur of food

savors the taste of sour as well as of sweet.

Be merged into this ocean of Eternal Rasa- that is my blessings to you.

May 8, 1977

In sadhna, restraint of speech is the first step. One should never be engaged in

needless conversation. Debate starts when one tries to establish one’s own views

or contradict others’. Never indulge in argument. Any effort to make somebody

understand anything through argument ends up only in creating a farce- what’s

the need of it? Let everybody remain with his/her opinion. I will live with my Lord.

I will not say anything unasked; will not answer to a wrong question; remain like

an idiot though really wise.

There is no point in locking the outer gate if the inner gate is kept ajar.

June 5, 1977

Through uphill and downhill, through many errors and failures, we proceed

in our path towards Truth-towards Divine. The path is NOT an easy one- almost

impassable. Had it not been that difficult, the Force would not have worked in us.

To reach Him would have become a child’s play.

Of course, we will make mistakes. But once the mistake is detected, we have to be

firm in our resolution, ‘Enough! Never again.’ And proceed forward. There is no

point in ruminating over the past errors and failings.

The gold in us is getting purer as this kind of fire is burning out all the dross day by

day. The Lord is Beautiful in Mercy. He is like a mother. Remember

Shankaracharya, ‘Even if a son turns to be a bad child, a mother can NEVER be a

bad mother.’ Once we identify our errors and come out of it, we WILL be forgiven,

because this Forgiveness again comes from the One Who is Beautiful in Mercy.

At the age of eighteen, while sitting on the porch of his house, Rabindranath

suddenly realised, ‘All this is verily Sat-Chit-Ananda.’ This realization was so deep

and so real that his whole life was nurtured by that. This is Mercy, this is Grace.

Know this for certainty, that whosoever has turned towards Him, someday or

other, Grace will shower on him/her. Once It pours in, the door opens, all doubts

disappear. you KNOW that you WILL reach Him.

July 31,1977

When an aspirant walks on the way of life totally depending on Him, then he might

cling to the faith that the lord will supply all his needs, and he should not ask

anything from anyone else. But the Lord helps through another human being. If

somebody helps without being asked, we should accept that as His gift and should

not refuse if it is not more than our requirement.

These are some of the guidelines of sadhna:-

Under all circumstances, we should say, ’let Your will be fulfilled.’ and will try to

see Him in all.

The other one is I shall be myself in my daily life. If needed, I will come in contact

with people, but will not socialize unnecessarily and will not indulge in argument. I

shall restrain my speech as much as possible and try to find God in all.

Lastly, if we follow the first two, they will purify our mind and the Presence will be

directly felt within ourselves.

September 11, 1977

Our ultimate aim is to surrender to Him everything, every moment and in every

way. We will not keep any trace of our will in anything. We will sing, ‘ All Glory to

Your Will.’

There can be nothing unwanted for us. Pleasure or pain -all are His gifts. This way

we can go beyond all dualities and win for Him the conflicts of the outer world.

Stay calm, be pure, always remain blissful.

October 23, 1977

In concurrence with the earnest plea from his disciples, Sri Ramakrishna asked the

Divine Mother, ‘ O Mother, why don’t you heal the sore in my throat- I can’t eat

anything’ The Mother said, ‘Why? aren’t you eating with so many mouths?’ After

that Sri Ramakrishna said, “‘ I felt like dying with shame. I rebuked them(the

disciples). ’Why did you all asked me to talk to my Mother like that?’”

Besides, this is not the only existence. There is a subtle body other than the

material one. The bliss of that body overflows in excess and obliterates all the

sufferings of this body. Again and again the heart sings, ‘You have merged me into

the ocean of Beatitude instead of granting mere physical comfort. Is there

anything more to ask for?’

Nobody can see what is inside me; nobody can understand either. How can I

explain? I craved for Him and I have Him. What else do I need?

Do not mourn for me. My sincerest prayer is- you all be filled with this beatitude

too.

January 15, 1978

closeness to the Sun is an external thing, but the closeness to the Divine is an

internal event. There is a considerable difference. With closeness to the Divine, the

great souls become one with the Divine and like the Divine bestow Power to their

devotees. But that does not ensure miracles. Rather than that, it is more important

and desirable that the devotees should be enhanced in faith, love, devotion etc..

Isn’t it?

January 29, 1978

I agree wholeheartedly with your perception of Unity of Mankind. From the days

of yore, India has applied her full force in the sadhna of finding One among many

and that is the Divine guidance. Even now, many hold this ideal bright and alive in

their hearts. Gradually that will spread among all- though that might take long

time. Let it be so. I believe deeply in my heart of hearts, ‘Truth is ever victorious.’

March 5, 1978

It is only due to mere sanskaras, that even a Yogi goes through various feelings

before leaving his earthly body. There occurs a feeling of abysmal Nothingness

before merging as one with God. Due to the sanskara of physical mind even of a

yogi gets scared at the void and fears that even God is leaving him. At that

moment such utterances may come out against his will. In our Scriptures that is

known as fear of salvation.

Resurrection does not happen with a material body. So far nobody is known to

enter heaven with physical form. But by the will of the Divine, at the time of

departure from the physical body, the Universal form might be imposed upon the

yogi. Then his devotees might see him. But that appearance fades away.

April 23, 1978

Let the touch of the Supreme Being, Who is also the Dweller in your heart keep

you alert and radiant every moment.

May 7, 1978

Who is responsible for my sanskara, myself or the Divine? You can not get any

answer to this question till you see the Divine. Until we see Him, we make Him

responsible for all our errors and failures, sufferings and happiness. And that is due

to our lack of understanding. Once we see Him, we KNOW good and bad, joy and

sorrow- EVERTHING is He. If I make a mistake and suffer, that suffering is also He.

Then there rises a feeling of Total Oneness surpassing all doubts. We see that He is

swinging beyond all dualities in the established Ananda of Oneness. The whole

Universe is He. Again, residing in every heart, He is exuding the Ananda of

Brahman to our Pure Consciousness. All sanskaras of virtue and sin, good and bad

vanishes into Nothingness.