Passing onFamily Memories

Sean E. Brotherson, Ph.D.Extension Family Science SpecialistNorth Dakota State UniversityE-mail: sean.brotherson@ndsu.edu

Learner Objectives

To understand the process and value of reminiscence in older adulthood

To identify purposes for actively working to pass on family memories

To become familiar with several practical activities for passing on family memories

To engage in planning that will lead toward personal efforts to pass on family memories

Share a Family Memory

Share a story or memory passed down.

Display a physical artifact or possession.– Scrapbook– Journal– Photo album– Recipe book

The Value of Sharing Who We Are

How do those we know and care about come to know who we really are?

How do they learn what is important to us?

How do they come to know what has shaped our lives and identity?

The Value of Sharing Who We Are

Research suggests that we share who we are through the stories we tell.

We need to share the stories and memories that have shaped our lives.

Memories and Stories Make Us Unique

Human beings:– Create and maintain memories – Pass our experiences and memories

into the future through stories

Sense of identity shaped by memories and stories we share and pass on

Reflect on things from our lives that we would like to share with others (Reminiscence)

What is Reminiscence?

The process of reviewing and passing on personal and family identity, stories and memories in later adulthood

Regular patterns of reminiscence are associated with: – greater mental health in later adulthood– less depression– more satisfaction in family relationships – better transition into retirement

Why Pass on Family Memories?

Connect family generations Bestow a sense of identity Teach family values Practice generativity –

caring for the next generation Experience personal

meaning and resolution in later years

“I Was and Am This”

“There are tangible aids to remembering, notably letters, old snapshots, daybooks and mementos. ... We tell stories about it, and then arrange the stories in sequence. ... Our efforts will not have been wasted if they help us to possess our own identities as an artist possesses his work. At least we can say to the world of the future, or to ourselves, ‘I really was’—or even, with greater self-confidence, ‘I was and am this.’ ”

- Malcolm Cowley, 1980

“One Good Memory”

“My dear children ... you must know that there is nothing higher and stronger and more good for life in the future than some good memory, especially a memory of childhood, of home. People talk to you a great deal about your education, but some good, sacred memory, preserved from childhood, is perhaps the best education. If one carries many such memories into life, one is safe to the end of one’s days, and if one has only one good memory left in one’s heart, even that may be the means of saving us.”

- Alyosha, in “The Brothers Karamazov”

Three Activities for Passing on Family Memories

1 – ABC Memories Activity

2 – Family Chronology

3 – Family Recipes and Memories Book

Activity 1 – ABC Memories Activity

Record a personal or family memory associated with the ABCs

– Fun for children, grandchildren or other relatives

Examples– A – Describe your biggest Adventure– B – Explain your best Birthday– K – Share your first Kiss

Activity 2 – Family Chronology

Develop a chronology – Personal and family life experiences through time – From birth to the present time – Three to 15 pages

Examples– When and where you were born– When and where you first went to school– When and where you learned to swim– When and where you went from school

Chronology Entry – An Example

September 1992

I went to the Utah Valley Regional Medical Center with Kristen for the birth of our first child. We had a baby girl and named her Ellen Bronwen. She was born with difficulties breathing and in other areas, and was put into the Newborn ICU. We did not know if she would live. We got much support from family and friends, and prayed she would be OK. She was in the hospital for the first 12 days of her life.

Activity 3 – Family Recipes and Memories Book

Record selected family traditions, recipes and activities on which future generations can build– Family games– Holiday traditions –

food, stories, practices– Family recipes

Thank You

Sean E. Brotherson, Ph.D.Extension Family Science SpecialistNorth Dakota State UniversityE-mail: sean.brotherson@ndsu.edu