Part 7: Sample Speeches436

Just in case the audience was hesitant to partici-pate, the speaker prepared a list of questions that could be used to encourage dia-logue. Preparing like this helps a speaker to feel more confi dent and gives a wide plat-form from which to begin the invita-tional dialogue.

The speaker closes the invitational speech by express-ing appreciation to audience members for sharing their views. The dialogue is summarized in a fair and neutral way, it is restated that there are many ways to think about the topic, and the speech ends in a respectful tone.

◗ As a high school student, would you personally have been able to concentrate and work at the level you did on a fi ve-day week for a longer amount of time at school?

◗ If you had had one extra free day, do you feel like you would have worked better as a student?

◗ What types of things would you have done with an extra day?

◗ What aspects of the four days of the week would have been hindered by your longer day at school?

◗ Are there any other drawbacks or benefi ts you want to share that I didn’t cover?

When the discussion was over, Courtney concluded her speech. Th anks for sharing your ideas and opinions. I think that really helped shed some more light on the situation and how students really feel about the issue. We’ve heard today some of the views in favor and some against changing the current fi ve-day high school week to a four-day week with longer days. For students, perhaps a shorter week would allow for more time outside school, but it could also cut into sports practice time and extracur-ricular activities. For parents, fi nding day care could be an issue, but for the schools, it could be a way to save money. On the whole, though, I think there are multiple per-spectives to consider, and I’ve enjoyed being able to talk about some of them with you.

General purpose: To persuadeSpecifi c purpose: To persuade my audience that overcon-sumption of sugar is contributing to obesity and related diseases, and that something can be done about it.

No More Sugar!Persuasive Speech by Hans Erian7

7Used with permission.

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437Speeches by Student Speakers

Notice how Hans incorporates sources immedi-ately in the intro-duction in order to build credibility.

Thesis statement: Too much sugar can lead to obesity and Type II diabetes, but national awareness, plus personal commitment to good health, can help.

IntroductionI. Fift een-year-old Arnold Scott weighed 300 pounds; he

developed symptoms that led to a diagnosis of Type II diabetes.A. Type II diabetes, usually associated with adults, is in-

creasing among children and leaving them vulnera-ble to blindness, heart and kidney disease, and stroke at ages as young as 30 (Newsday).

B. Dr. Barbara Lindner of the National Institute of Diabetes, Digestive Diseases, and Kidney Diseases linked the rise in diabetes to a rise in obesity, and obesity is on the rise because of sugar.1. Th e Nationwide News of August 21, 2001, reported

that, of the ten most-bought foods bought at the supermarket, most are sugar-fi lled junk foods.

2. A Georgetown University study showed that 25 per cent of adult calories come from sugar; for kids, it’s closer to 50 percent.

II. Th e average person in this room consumes about 125–150 pounds of sugar per year.A. Consumer Reports on Health of August 2001 says

that increases in blood sugar levels lead to increases in disease and death.

B. Americans are consuming too much unhealthy sugar without realizing it.

III. Today we will explore two major causes of sugar over-consumption, then we’ll examine negative eff ects, and fi nally we’ll look at ways to nationally and personally deal with the problem.

BodyI. Th e two main reasons for increased consumption of

sugar are ignorance and increased consumption of soda pop.A. Th e FDA and the sugar association have been fi ght-

ing a linguistic tug-of-war since about 1970 over the defi nition of sugar.

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Part 7: Sample Speeches438

Though Hans has a lively and expressive style of delivery and generally makes good use of gestures, some may seem a little forced. Pantomiming “tug of war” seems less spontaneous, perhaps creating an impression of having practiced the speech so many times that he found ways to insert gestures with almost every phrase.

Observe that defi ni-tions are crucial not just with technical or unusual terms but with common everyday terms like sugar. Hans sets a clear foundation for us to understand the rest of his speech.

While watching the video of this speech, notice how clearly Hans’ transitions, though brief, lead us along through this rapid-fi re speech.

1. Fructose is the good sugar, the kind found natu-rally in fruit.

2. Bad sugar, the kind in most foods, comes under names like sucrose, dextrose, and high-fructose corn syrup, which may be confusing because of the word “fructose” in it.

3. Common items in local stores can lead to confusion.a. Here’s a cranberry-tangerine juice drink that

we’d expect to be healthy, but the second in-gredient is high-fructose corn syrup.

b. WheatiesTM ingredients include whole wheat, sugar—and also corn sugar and brown sugar, other bad sugars; can this be the “Breakfast of Champions”?

B. Th e second reason is the increased consumption of soda.1. Coca-Cola contains sucrose and has about

10 teaspoons of sugar per pint.2. Th e consumption of soda increased by 43 percent

to 85 gallons per year since 1987; that’s 555 cans annually for every American (San Jose Mercury News).

Transition: Now that we’ve seen the increased use of sugar because of ignorance and soda pop, we will see the negative eff ects this is having on our health.

II. Th is amount of sugar is having a negative impact on our health. A. Th ere is convincing new evidence between weight

gain in children and the consumption of soda pop (New York Times).1. Obesity is directly linked to soda pop consump-

tion, regardless of the amount of food you eat or lack of exercise.

2. Perhaps this is because the body has trouble adapting to intense concentrations of sugar taken in liquid form.

B. Obesity is linked to many diseases, including high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and heart disease, as well as cancer and diabetes.

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439Speeches by Student Speakers

Hans always gives a claim that he is set-ting forth and then provides evidence. There’s lots of data in this speech, but it’s not just spewed forth: Hans always anchors it to a point he is developing.

Because this speech uses so much evidence, Hans has made a real eff ort to intro-duce it smoothly into his sentences and also to avoid always using the same terms, such as “according to. . . .” In the video for this speech, Hans uses the phrase “affi rms this claim” here. Such phrasing adds interest and variety.

Here is a case of a speaker using both an internal summary of the two points he has covered and an internal preview of two upcoming points. Such sign-posting is essential in a complex and data-backed speech like this.

1. Obesity is now considered the number-two killer in the United States because it causes cancer and other problems.a. Obese people are 70 percent more likely to

get pancreatic cancer, which has a 95 percent mortality rate (New York Times).

b. Th e U.S. Department of Health links it to post-menopausal breast cancer and colon cancer.

2. Obesity is linked to diabetes.a. Since 1991, adult obesity has increased by

60 percent and the percentage of overweight kids has doubled (Hartford Courant).

b. Children and adolescents are developing Type II diabetes, a disease associated with people over 45 years of age.

c. Dr. Gerald Bernstein predicts that, if left un-checked, there will be 500 million diabetics worldwide in 25 years, leading to a tidal wave of suff ering and an avalanche of health-care bills.

Transition: Now that we see that Americans are consuming too much sugar and it’s destroying our health, we need to decrease our sugar intake.

III. We can do something on a national and a personal level.A. On a national level, we need to increase our aware-

ness and decrease soda pop consumption.1. Kelly Brownwell, director of Yale University’s

Eating and Weight Disorders, recommends regu-lation of ads aimed at children to provide equal time for nutritional and pro-exercise messages.

2. She also suggests changing the price of foods to make healthier foods less expensive than sugar-laden ones.

3. Schools could disable the school vending machines during class time, strip them of sweets, or put a new tax on them, which may discourage students from buying sweets (New York Times).

4. We might also impose a tax on soft drinks in general.

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Part 7: Sample Speeches440

Transition: Th ese are just a few ways to provide incentives for people to get healthy and eat less sugar.

B. We would like to have someone else help us get healthy, but what is really needed is a personal com-mitment to health.1. Start off slow and follow Dr. Robert Owen’s

advice; he wrote Optimum Wellness, and he sug-gests you have dessert a few times a week or a can of pop a couple of times a week.

2. In fact, the World Health Organization sug-gested that up to 10 percent of calories can come from sugar, but try to stick to healthy sugars.

3. In addition, be a label reader.

ConclusionI. Now that we have looked at the misconceptions regard-

ing sugar and what they lead to, you can decrease your sugar intake.

II. Th is will prevent more people from ending up like Arnold Scott, who must take insulin injections just to stay alive.

Works CitedBrody, Jane E. “Don’t Lose Sight of Real, Everyday Risks,”

New York Times (October 9, 2001).Condon, Garret. “Diabetes Epidemic Menaces the U.S.:

Costs, Suff ering Expected to Soar,” Hartford Courant 9 (September 2001).

World Health Organization. Diet, Nutrition, and the Pre-vention of Chronic Diseases, (April 2002) www.who.int/hpr/nutrition/26Aprildraft rev1.pdf (accessed June 29, 2002).

Geiger, Debbe. “Diabetes’ Changing Face: Number of Type 2 Cases among Children Is Increasing,” Newsday (July 20, 1999).

Golan, Ralph. Optimal Wellness. New York: Ballantine Books, 1995.

National Desk. Th e New York Times. “Extra Soft Drink Is Cited as a Major Factor in Obesity,” (February 16, 2001).

“Not Diabetic? Glucose Still Counts,” Consumer Reports on Health (August 2001).

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441Speeches by Student Speakers

U.S. Department of Health. Overweight and Obesity: Health Consequences, www.cdc.gov/nccdphp/dnpa/obesity/ consequences.htm (accessed June 30, 2002).

Sevrens, Julie. “Th e Mercury News Food Group Volunteers Put Th eir Diets to the Test,” San Jose Mercury News (January 17, 1999).

Winter, Greg. “States Try to Limit Sales of Junk Food in School Buildings,” New York Times (September 9, 2001).

Notice how Kayla uses the description of malaria’s side eff ects to draw her audience in prior to revealing her speech topic.

General purpose: To persuadeSpecifi c purpose: To persuade my audience to get involved in the fi ght to end malaria. Thesis statement: Malaria, a disease that stunts economic growth, education, health care productivity, and takes thousands of lives every day, can be stopped and reversed within our lifetime.

I. IntroductionAttention: It’s just a mosquito, right? To us it is, but to half the world it is also fever, vomiting, aches, jaundice, anemia. It is seizures, comas, lung infl ammation, cardiovascular col-lapse, kidney failure, paralysis. It is speech impediments. It is still-births and maternal deaths and low birth-weight babies. It is blindness. It is deafness. It is malaria.Reveal topic: Th e disease is caused by a little parasite from the genus Plasmodium that is carried from human to human via mosquitoes. It invades and ruptures red blood cells, repro-ducing rapidly, and every day this process takes thousands of lives and stunts economic growth, child development, and health care productivity.

Bite BackPersuasive Speech by Kayla Strickland8, Organized with Monroe’s Motivated Sequence

8Used with permission.

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