Parenting, Worship, and Responsibility Raising Responsible Worshippers Raising Responsible...

Parenting, Worship, and Responsibility

Parenting, Worship, and Responsibility

Raising Responsible

Worshippers

Raising Responsible

Worshippers

IntroIntro

• Every Parent’s Desire: to raise responsible/mature children.

• Toys R Us and Tinkerbell.

• What we will cover today:– Toward a biblical view of responsibility– Practical suggestions for raising responsible

children.

• Every Parent’s Desire: to raise responsible/mature children.

• Toys R Us and Tinkerbell.

• What we will cover today:– Toward a biblical view of responsibility– Practical suggestions for raising responsible

children.

Intro, Continued.Intro, Continued.

• What’s the problem? • Is the root problem irresponsibility?• Root problem is lack of worship.• Deut 6:4-9• We like to address the responsibility issues but

not the worship.• We cannot separate the two.

• What’s the problem? • Is the root problem irresponsibility?• Root problem is lack of worship.• Deut 6:4-9• We like to address the responsibility issues but

not the worship.• We cannot separate the two.

Toward a Biblical View of Responsibility

Toward a Biblical View of Responsibility

Understanding Responsibility:

• Is responsibility good or bad/ necessary or unnecessary?

Understanding Responsibility:

• Is responsibility good or bad/ necessary or unnecessary?

Unnecessary/Evil

Unnecessary/Good

Necessary/Evil

Necessary/Good

Toward a Biblical View of Responsibility (Creation)


• Responsibility is both good and necessary.

Genesis 1:27-29: 27 So God created man in his own image,

in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.28 God blessed them and said to them, "Be fruitful and increase in

number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground."

29 Then God said, "I give you every seed-bearing plant on the face of the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it. They will be yours for food.

• Responsibility is both good and necessary.

Genesis 1:27-29: 27 So God created man in his own image,

in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.28 God blessed them and said to them, "Be fruitful and increase in

number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground."

29 Then God said, "I give you every seed-bearing plant on the face of the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it. They will be yours for food.



• Genesis 2:15 The LORD God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it.

• Implications?– God is a responsible being, and he has made

humanity to be responsible.• Its part of the task of image bearing.• This is pre-fall. Before sin entered the world.

– Being responsible is a necessary and good part of living as image bearers of God.

• Genesis 2:15 The LORD God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it.

• Implications?– God is a responsible being, and he has made

humanity to be responsible.• Its part of the task of image bearing.• This is pre-fall. Before sin entered the world.

– Being responsible is a necessary and good part of living as image bearers of God.

Toward a Biblical View of Responsibility (Fall)


This entire world is affected by the fall: Genesis 3: 17 To Adam he said, "Because you listened to your wife and ate from the tree about which I commanded you, 'You must not eat of it,'

"Cursed is the ground because of you; through painful toil you will eat of it all the days of your life. 18 It will produce thorns and thistles for you, and you will eat the plants of the field. 19 By the sweat of your brow you will eat your food until you return to the ground, since from it you were taken; for dust you are and to dust you will return.”

All those who bear responsibility grapple with the reality of thorns.

This entire world is affected by the fall: Genesis 3: 17 To Adam he said, "Because you listened to your wife and ate from the tree about which I commanded you, 'You must not eat of it,'

"Cursed is the ground because of you; through painful toil you will eat of it all the days of your life. 18 It will produce thorns and thistles for you, and you will eat the plants of the field. 19 By the sweat of your brow you will eat your food until you return to the ground, since from it you were taken; for dust you are and to dust you will return.”

All those who bear responsibility grapple with the reality of thorns.



Implications of the brokenness of the world:– No aspect of bearing responsibility is immune

to the presence of “thorns”– Thus, although responsibility is a God-

appointed (necessary) and beautiful thing (good), the bearing of responsibility is twisted by the fall.

– Excerpt from Don Miller RE how no writer likes the act itself of writing.

Implications of the brokenness of the world:– No aspect of bearing responsibility is immune

to the presence of “thorns”– Thus, although responsibility is a God-

appointed (necessary) and beautiful thing (good), the bearing of responsibility is twisted by the fall.

– Excerpt from Don Miller RE how no writer likes the act itself of writing.



• The presence of real evil: • In ALL hearts-

– Who? Us, our children, our society– What?

• Envy: when we are responsible and others are not. Sometimes they seem to be having a better time; sometimes they seem to be more successful.

• pride- when we are responsible and others are not.• Despair (sloth) – when we are not responsible and feel guilty for it.• Laziness - when we are not responsible and don’t care (think of the

sluggard in the book of Proverbs).

• In the Accuser (Satan)

• The presence of real evil: • In ALL hearts-

– Who? Us, our children, our society– What?

• Envy: when we are responsible and others are not. Sometimes they seem to be having a better time; sometimes they seem to be more successful.

• pride- when we are responsible and others are not.• Despair (sloth) – when we are not responsible and feel guilty for it.• Laziness - when we are not responsible and don’t care (think of the

sluggard in the book of Proverbs).

• In the Accuser (Satan)



Implications:

• Thorns in the world and sin in the heart.

• Not only your child, but you struggle with honoring God by living responsibly.

• This struggle will never cease until Christ returns and sin is vanquished.

Implications:

• Thorns in the world and sin in the heart.

• Not only your child, but you struggle with honoring God by living responsibly.

• This struggle will never cease until Christ returns and sin is vanquished.

Toward a Biblical View of Responsibility (Redemption)


• Christ came to bear our responsibility perfectly on our behalf, since we always fail: Hebrews10:5-10: 5Therefore, when Christ came into the world, he said: "Sacrifice and offering you did not desire, but a body you prepared for me; 6with burnt offerings and sin offerings you were not pleased. 7Then I said, 'Here I am—it is written about me in the scroll—I have come to do your will, O God.' "[a] 8First he said, "Sacrifices and offerings, burnt offerings and sin offerings you did not desire, nor were you pleased with them" (although the law required them to be made). 9Then he said, "Here I am, I have come to do your will." He sets aside the first to establish the second. 10And by that will, we have been made holy through the sacrifice of the body of Jesus Christ once for all.

• Christ bears our burden and He gives us His: Matt 11:28-30: 28"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

• Christ came to bear our responsibility perfectly on our behalf, since we always fail: Hebrews10:5-10: 5Therefore, when Christ came into the world, he said: "Sacrifice and offering you did not desire, but a body you prepared for me; 6with burnt offerings and sin offerings you were not pleased. 7Then I said, 'Here I am—it is written about me in the scroll—I have come to do your will, O God.' "[a] 8First he said, "Sacrifices and offerings, burnt offerings and sin offerings you did not desire, nor were you pleased with them" (although the law required them to be made). 9Then he said, "Here I am, I have come to do your will." He sets aside the first to establish the second. 10And by that will, we have been made holy through the sacrifice of the body of Jesus Christ once for all.

• Christ bears our burden and He gives us His: Matt 11:28-30: 28"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."



• We are called to maturity in and through Christ:Col 1:28 We proclaim him, admonishing and teaching everyone with all wisdom, so that we may present everyone perfect in Christ.

• Learning to bear responsibility is a process: Luke 2:52 And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men.

• The ability to enjoy work is a gift from God: Ecclesiastes 2:24 A man can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in his work. This too, I see, is from the hand of God, 25 for without him, who can eat or find enjoyment?

• We are called to maturity in and through Christ:Col 1:28 We proclaim him, admonishing and teaching everyone with all wisdom, so that we may present everyone perfect in Christ.

• Learning to bear responsibility is a process: Luke 2:52 And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men.

• The ability to enjoy work is a gift from God: Ecclesiastes 2:24 A man can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in his work. This too, I see, is from the hand of God, 25 for without him, who can eat or find enjoyment?

Practical Suggestions Practical Suggestions

[Disclaimer: I am a work in progress as a father]

In what ways are you not living out a biblical view of responsibility?

Are your teaching your children a biblical view of responsibility?

CreationFallRedemption

Do you honor the bearing of responsibility?

[Disclaimer: I am a work in progress as a father]

In what ways are you not living out a biblical view of responsibility?

Are your teaching your children a biblical view of responsibility?

CreationFallRedemption

Do you honor the bearing of responsibility?

Practical SuggestionsPractical Suggestions

• Understand the various factors influencing your child’s view of responsibility:– Parental attitudes

– Peer attitudes

– Cultural attitudes

– Individual child’s attitude

• Understand the various factors influencing your child’s view of responsibility:– Parental attitudes

– Peer attitudes

– Cultural attitudes

– Individual child’s attitude


• Various factors, con’t:– Parental attitudes towards responsibility.

• Shaped by world and life view.– We are often a mixed bag- on paper we might believe a biblical view

of responsibility, but what do our actions say?

• Shaped by experience. – “Those were the good old days.”– “Enjoy your freedom now.”– “Enjoy having the summer off now.”– Do you ONLY express to your child how wonderful it was to be

young and irresponsible?– Does your child see you glory in your God-given calling to be a

responsible image bearer?

• Shaped by your own struggles with sin.

• Various factors, con’t:– Parental attitudes towards responsibility.

• Shaped by world and life view.– We are often a mixed bag- on paper we might believe a biblical view

of responsibility, but what do our actions say?

• Shaped by experience. – “Those were the good old days.”– “Enjoy your freedom now.”– “Enjoy having the summer off now.”– Do you ONLY express to your child how wonderful it was to be

young and irresponsible?– Does your child see you glory in your God-given calling to be a

responsible image bearer?

• Shaped by your own struggles with sin.

Practical SuggestionsPractical SuggestionsVarious Factors, Con’t:

• Peer attitudes towards responsibility.– How do their friends view responsibility?– What affect is this having on your child?

• Cultural attitudes towards responsibility.– Movies, music, commercials, media, sports, etc. Mixed bag

of input. I.e. An actor- often great responsibility towards career, but rest of life a mess.

– A “Toys R Us Kid” culture. Idolizes youth. – What impact do you see the culture having? How have you

addressed it? What do you think is the best way to address it?

Various Factors, Con’t:

• Peer attitudes towards responsibility.– How do their friends view responsibility?– What affect is this having on your child?

• Cultural attitudes towards responsibility.– Movies, music, commercials, media, sports, etc. Mixed bag

of input. I.e. An actor- often great responsibility towards career, but rest of life a mess.

– A “Toys R Us Kid” culture. Idolizes youth. – What impact do you see the culture having? How have you

addressed it? What do you think is the best way to address it?


Various Factors, Con’t:• Individual child’s attitude towards

responsibility.– Age/other issues of development?– Birth order and potential effect on

responsibility?– Your child’s unique personality?– Your child’s unique story?

Various Factors, Con’t:• Individual child’s attitude towards

responsibility.– Age/other issues of development?– Birth order and potential effect on

responsibility?– Your child’s unique personality?– Your child’s unique story?


• Remember that learning responsibility is a process. What is age appropriate for: – Toddlers?

– Elementary School?

– Middle School?

– High School?

– College?

• Remember that learning responsibility is a process. What is age appropriate for: – Toddlers?

– Elementary School?

– Middle School?

– High School?

– College?


• Pray with and for your child.• Talk with your child about a biblical view of

responsibility• Confess before your child (not only God) your

failures. This honors God and teaches your child.

• Teach your child to be discerning about the mixed messages they they from you, their friends, and culture about responsibility.

• Talk with other parents. Constantly. How?

• Pray with and for your child.• Talk with your child about a biblical view of

responsibility• Confess before your child (not only God) your

failures. This honors God and teaches your child.

• Teach your child to be discerning about the mixed messages they they from you, their friends, and culture about responsibility.

• Talk with other parents. Constantly. How?


• 2 Thess 3:10For even when we were with you, we gave you this rule: "If a man will not work, he shall not eat.” How does this apply to children?

• Children are dependent and need to learn responsibility. This learning is a process. Its incremental. Do you have a healthy view of incremental progress? Or do you expect too much or too little?

• In what ways do you teach your children now to bear responsibility?

• 2 Thess 3:10For even when we were with you, we gave you this rule: "If a man will not work, he shall not eat.” How does this apply to children?

• Children are dependent and need to learn responsibility. This learning is a process. Its incremental. Do you have a healthy view of incremental progress? Or do you expect too much or too little?

• In what ways do you teach your children now to bear responsibility?


What works/hasn’t worked:• Money management?

• Use of time?

• Schoolwork responsibilities?

• Household chores?

What works/hasn’t worked:• Money management?

• Use of time?

• Schoolwork responsibilities?

• Household chores?


• Recognize that teaching responsibility ALWAYS means that there’s more work for you up front (the payoff comes later; sometimes MUCH later).– I.e. cooking with Nathan this past week. He

asked to help. I wanted to tell him to go play, so that I could finish faster. I almost lost a teachable moment, because of my views of efficiency.

– Stories in your life like this?

• Recognize that teaching responsibility ALWAYS means that there’s more work for you up front (the payoff comes later; sometimes MUCH later).– I.e. cooking with Nathan this past week. He

asked to help. I wanted to tell him to go play, so that I could finish faster. I almost lost a teachable moment, because of my views of efficiency.

– Stories in your life like this?


• How can you use a child’s mistakes to teach about responsibility?– When do you intervene?

– When do you allow a child to fail?

• How can you use a child’s mistakes to teach about responsibility?– When do you intervene?

– When do you allow a child to fail?


The role that discipline plays in developing responsible children:

Consistent, life-on-life “teaching” is a form of discipline.

Consistent correction/punishment is a form of discipline.

What works for your child?Carrot and Stick? What works?

The role that discipline plays in developing responsible children:

Consistent, life-on-life “teaching” is a form of discipline.

Consistent correction/punishment is a form of discipline.

What works for your child?Carrot and Stick? What works?


• Thoughts? Comments?• Thoughts? Comments?

ConclusionConclusion Psalm 127:1 Unless the LORD builds the house, its builders labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain. 2 In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat— for he grants sleep to] those he loves. 3 Sons are a heritage from the LORD, children a reward from him. 4 Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one's youth. 5 Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their enemies in the gate.

Trust in the Lord as you seek to craft straight arrows.

Psalm 127:1 Unless the LORD builds the house, its builders labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain. 2 In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat— for he grants sleep to] those he loves. 3 Sons are a heritage from the LORD, children a reward from him. 4 Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one's youth. 5 Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their enemies in the gate.

Trust in the Lord as you seek to craft straight arrows.

Parenting, Worship, and Responsibility Raising Responsible Worshippers Raising Responsible...

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