Last Updated: 22-Apr-02 1

Parenting Tips to raise Tamil speaking kids

It is a sad fact that most of the kids of Tamil origin grow up in the west (USA/Canada/etc.) notknowing Tamil. Based on my personal experience and direct observation so far, I have attemptedto list various factors that contribute to this and some potential solutions. They are not in anyparticular order. If have any comments or suggestions, please contact me.

(I have written this document in English for the following reasons: Some of the intended audience for this topic may need to be reached in English. It is easier to use English when typing using a standard keyboard.)

Cause / Symptom Possible Reasons Remedy1. Kids are in day care from a

very early age and thuslearn early language skillsfrom others who speakEnglish

Both parents work. Have grandparents (or otherrelatives) visit and spend some timewith the children during the schoolyear.

Have the children visit India everyyear, if possible.

These will expose them to morenon-English speaking environmentsand thus subconsciously motivatethem.

2. Parents do not attach muchimportance to their childrenspeaking Tamil.

Parents feel that as the kidswill live in the west, it doesnot matter if they do notknow Tamil.

As a practical matter, this may betrue. However, this implies aconscious rejection of one's roots.Language is one of the basiccharacteristics that make up one'sown image of who he is. If one wereto extend this logic, then most ofwhat we follow - dietary habits,cultural behaviors, religion, andother value systems - can bediscarded.

There are many groups living invarious regions of India other thantheir own but still maintain theirtraditions including language. (e.g.South Indians in Mumbai, Telugu'sin Chennai and elsewhere inTamilnadu, Saurashtrian's inMadurai, et al). The second andfuture generations of these groups

Last Updated: 22-Apr-02 2

Cause / Symptom Possible Reasons Remedyspeak the local language outside butstill speak their own language athome.

Thus, in my opinion, parents shouldmake an effort to encourage theirchildren learn Tamil.

3. The children refuse tolearn/speak Tamil.

The children see no utility inknowing Tamil. They feelthat as they will live in thewest, it does not matter ifthey do not know Tamil.

This is a difficult situation. Thisimplies that the children havealready reached an age (typically 7or more) without speaking Tamilmuch. Parents can apply a suitablecombination of the 4 traditionalmethods of persuasion (sAma,dhAna, bEdha, dhaNdam) andmotivate the kids.

4. The children stop speakingTamil.

The children feel the peerpressure and they want to fitin with their friends.

This is an identity issue. Parentsneed to explain the cultural heritageand reinforce that learning/speakingTamil does not make them inferiorin any way compared to their peers.

5. The children stop speakingTamil.

As they grow, theircommand of English hasgrown, but their level ofTamil has stayed stagnant.Thus, they are not able tocommunicate in Tamil asquickly and easily as inEnglish.

Parents need to help the children'sTamil improve. For example, whenthe child says something English,the parent tell the child how to saythat in Tamil and have the childrepeat it immediately in Tamil. Asyou follow this method, the child'sTamil will steadily improve.

6. The children stop speakingTamil.

The older children speak tothe younger ones in English.

Parents need to encourage all thechildren to speak in Tamil at home.Set it as a house rule to be followedalways.

7. Parents do not speak inTamil at home.

One of the parents does notknow Tamil.

Each parent speaks to the child inhis/her language from early on. Thechild grows up bilingual.

This situation is not much differentfrom a child speaking Tamil at homeand English outside.

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Cause / Symptom Possible Reasons Remedy

8. Parents do not speak inTamil at home.

The parents are notcomfortable in speakingTamil as their knowledge ofTamil is limited.

This is a difficult situation. Theparents will need to make efforts toimprove their Tamil with the help oftheir friends or others. If the childrensee the parents making an effort toimprove their own Tamil, they willalso be motivated.

Children do as their parents do.Unless the children see their parentsspeaking in Tamil, they will notspeak it.

9. Parents do not speak inTamil at home.

The parents know Tamil wellenough but they have gotused to speaking in English.

Parents need to make a consciouseffort at speaking Tamil at home andwith other Tamil speaking friendsand relatives. This willautomatically help them in speakingin Tamil with their kids.

10. Parents explicitly encouragechildren to speak in Englishat home.

It is felt that kids must learnEnglish as soon as possibleso that they are not at anydisadvantage when theyenter the schooling system.

This is a fallacy. Kids watch enoughTV (Barney, Sesame Street, andwhole lot of other good and not sogood shows), that parents need notworry about their children'sknowledge of English when theyenter kindergarten.

Tips Comments11. Set a rule that only Tamil is to be spoken

at home.This is easier to implement when the children areyounger. It is best if they grow up with such a rule inplace, even as they are in the early stage of languagedevelopment.

12. Set a rule that if any non-Tamil sentenceis to be spoken, they take permission fromthe parent before each time they do that.

This sets up the clear expectation that the childrenmust speak in Tamil always.

This also puts maximum restriction on the parents asthey have to follow the same rule - that is speak isTamil always - Use English only when absolutelynecessary and they do not know how to say that inTamil.

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Tips Comments13. When a child says something in English

or uses an English word in a Tamilsentence, help the child to communicatethat in Tamil. Have the child repeat it inTamil.

This is a learn-as-you-go model. As the child growsand situations change, the parent is available as an on-demand translator-cum-tutor. This ensures gooddevelopment of normal day-to-day transactionallanguage. Language constructs and vocabulary usedmainly in the formal language cannot be obtained bythis method.

14. Tell stories in Tamil. Use stories fromrAmAyaNam, lives of saints, etc.

When the child is growing up, telling stories in Tamilimparts key skills such as knowing the sounds used inTamil and builds a Tamil vocabulary. It also impartscultural sensitivities and other intangibles.

15. When children are young and you readthem English books, after each sentence inEnglish translate it into Tamil also.

Helps kids know both Tamil and English.

16. Get some basic Tamil books from India tohelp the kids learn the Tamil alphabetsand the basic writing skills.

There are a number of textbooks but they are intendedfor children who are in Tamilnadu. The workbooks aregood as they try to teach the alphabets and the basicwriting/reading skills.

17. Watch Tamil movies that you feel areappropriate for your children.

Exposes the children to 'standard colloquial Tamil'.

18. Encourage your relatives and friends tospeak to your children in Tamil.

Typical tendency for relatives in India is to speak tothe kids coming from the West in English. You mayhave to emphasize that it is important that everyonespeaks to the children in Tamil. The more the childrencome across Tamil, the more they will be motivated tospeak it.

19. Have the children visit India frequently -every year, if possible.

The more the children see other people speakingTamil, the more they will be motivated to speak it.

Another benefit of these trips is to develop a strongercultural identity in your children.

20. When teaching the children Englishalphabets, also teach them the Tamilalphabet.

Helps kids know both Tamil and English.

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Tips Comments21. When the children are young and you are

helping them to learn reading skills inEnglish, use a bilingual approach. Forevery word they learn in English, teachthem the Tamil word also.

Helps kids know both Tamil and English. Builds agood vocabulary in Tamil.

22. Use rhyming words to build reading skillsand vocabulary.

This is true for both English and Tamil.(e.g. cat, hat, mat, bat, sat)(e.g. kAl, vAl, pAl,~nAy, pAy, vAy, thAy)

23. Get several storybooks in Tamil and readit to the children or have them read it toyou (depending on child's age and Tamilskills).

This imparts Tamil knowledge as well as somecultural context.

24. Pick a set of prayers in Tamil and teach itto the kids. Have them say it with youeveryday. If necessary, do it before goingto sleep.

This has several benefits. They pray everyday. AllTamil prayers are from great saints. The prayers areall great Tamil poetry. Some prayers have interestingstories behind them.

25. When the child makes any mistake whenspeaking in Tamil, correct it gently. Donot laugh or otherwise make fun of it.

The child will feel confident in speaking Tamilknowing that if any mistakes are in the process, that isOK.

26. Whenever the children speak amongthemselves in English, remind them tospeak in Tamil.

For example,a) 'enna, thamizhladhAne pEsaRE?'b) 'thamizhla pEsu'c) etc.

You will find yourself reminding them to speak inTamil many times a day for several years. Be preparedto do so.

27. Sit with the kids and read / have them reada few pages from suitable Tamil books.After each sentence / paragraph, translateto simpler Tamil if needed.

Read pancha thanthra stories, rAmAyaNam, etc.This is a time consuming activity. You need to bemotivated enough to do this.

This has several benefits. Kids learn the more formallanguage used in the books. Their vocabularyimproves. They see the effort that their parents putinto teaching them Tamil.

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Tips Comments28. From time to time, have them write a few

words or sentences.Even though we do not expect the kids growing up inthe west to do much writing in Tamil, it is an essentialskill.

29. Play rhyming games with the kids whengoing on long car trips. Let the kid say aword in Tamil and you come with arhyming word. That way, it is easy on thekids but still helps them improve theirvocabulary.