Page 2A County Journal February 4,...

A February 4, 2016County Journal

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Mr. and Mrs. Roy J. Jackson

Roy J. Jackson and Fleeta L. Higgerson of Percy

were married February 20, 1960 at the Logan Hollow

Pentecostal Church in Logan Hollow, Illinois.

Roy is a retired coal miner from Captain Mine.

Fleeta is a homemaker.

Their children are Kathy (Jim) Porter and Karen

(Jeff) Furman, and they have four grandchildren.

Roy's father was the pastor at the church Fleeta

attended. Roy became a farmhand on Fleeta's par-

ents' farm. When his parents moved back to Tennes-

see, he had already fallen in love, so he stayed in

Illinois.

When they were in their early teens, the first time

out on the farm, where Roy told Fleeta he loved her,

her response was, "You mean enough to marry me?"

Roy's response was, "Well, yeah, I guess."

The modern bridal shower may trace its originsto the 1890s. “The Old Farmer’s Almanac” saysthe first bridal shower hostess filled a paperparasol with small presents and turned it overthe head of the bride-to-be. Soon the conceptcaught on, and many other women began “show-ering” future brides in such a manner. Naturally,as presents became larger and heavier, the tradi-tion of literally showering the bride with giftswas modified—but the name has stuck.

Bridal showers are designed to equip coupleswith many of the necessities to start their new lifetogether. This custom is believed to have evolvedfrom an old dowry system, in which a bride was

The story of the

Bridal ShowerBridal ShowerBridal ShowerBridal ShowerBridal Showerexpected to bring valuables to the marriage. Thedowry was originally intended as compensa-tion for the burden placed on the groom of sup-porting a wife. Some parents of the bride werenot rich enough to afford an ample dowry, sofriends and family would offer small gifts tohelp offset this financial responsibility.

Today, both the bride and groom are equalpartners in the marriage, bringing together theircollective wealth.

However, showers are still held regardless ofthe financial need of the bride as a way to offergood wishes before she embarks on her newjourney.

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Weddings are a chance forcouples tying the knot to be thecenter of attention. All eyes willbe glued to the bride and groomon this special day, which makesit even more important forcouples to look their collectivebest.

Brides might garner most ofthe attention on a couple’s wed-ding day, but dashing groomswill also get their share of atten-tion. As a result, a groom mustbe just as diligent as his blush-ing bride with regard to groom-ing and appearance on theirwedding day. To look picture-perfect, a groom may want toinclude these grooming tips inhis wedding day preparation.

HairSchedule a haircut with a pro-

fessional stylist roughly a weekbefore the wedding to get yourhair shaped and trimmed. Al-though trendy hairstyles mayshow off creativity, keep in mindthat photos last forever, and it’soften better to stick with a clas-sic cut. A barber or stylist maysuggest styles that best suit your

Grooms: Look your wedding day bestface shape and hair texture.Above all, the haircut should beneat. Resist the urge to washyour hair every day before thewedding. Allow some naturaloils to build up and make yourhair shine in a healthy way.

ShavingShaving is another thing

grooms must consider. If youhave a beard, make sure it isclean, combed and trimmed.Men who shave the day of theirweddings may find their skin issensitive and irritated, whichcan lead to redness. Unless yourfacial hair grows especially fast,shave the evening before. Thisis a good time to splurge on aprofessional shave with astraight razor at a barber shop.A hot shave from a professionalwill produce a close shave withthe least amount of irritationwhen done correctly.

HandsGrooms also may want to book

a manicure. Keep in mind thatsalons will do men’s nonpolishmanicures and pedicures, andthey can be well worth the in-

vestment. Photos of entwinedhands or close-ups of the ringexchange will have guests zero-ing in on your fingers. Havehands look their best with clean,shaped fingernails and trimmedcuticles.

SkinGet plenty of sleep the night

prior to the wedding. Being wellrested will help reduce puffyeyes, dark circles and sallowskin. It will also put you in amore positive mood, which canhelp you enjoy the day evenmore.

The day of the wedding,shower using water and a mildsoap. Avoid any skin irritationby patting your face and bodydry, rather than rubbing it withthe towel. Moisturize your skinto avoid dry patches. Stores sellmany moisturizers geared to-ward men’s needs, often in un-scented or more masculine fra-grances.

Reducing shine is key for wed-ding day photos. Rely on faceand hair products that will notadd unnecessary sheen to your

skin or hair to avoid making youlook greasy. Matte hair waxesand sprays will tame tresses.Also, ask your fiancé to pick youup a package of blotting tissuesif you are prone to oily skin.These absorbent, typicallyrice-paper sheets will re-move oil from your faceand keep sheen to aminimum.

SmileMake sure your teeth

have been thoroughlybrushed and that youhave used a mintymouthwash so you’reprimed for that firstkiss. Many groomsalso opt for whiten-ing treatments priorto the wedding sothey have a dazzlingsmile.

On their weddingdays, grooms will likelybe photographed morethan any other time in theirlives. That means puttingextra effort into personalgrooming to look their best.


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Mr. and Mrs. Wilbur Franklin Sr.

Wilbur Franklin Sr. and Edna Alexander were married

May 11, 1951 in Paragould, Arkansas.

Wilbur is a retired state mine inspector safety at large,

and Edna is a housewife.

They met at Tilden Teen Town. Wilbur saw Edna walking

down the street and told someone, "I'm going to marry that

girl." He did not meet her until two weeks later at Teen

Town. They eloped to Arkansas.

On their 50th anniversary, they returned to Paragould.

Their son Wilbur Jr. called and asked the city to do some-

thing special for them. Upon arrival, they got a sack of fruit

and candy. Officials opened the old courthouse and took

them to the room they were married in and saw a picture of

the judge who married them. The newspaper interviewed

them and published their picture in the paper while they

were there.

The Franklins live in Tilden. They are the parents of Wil-

bur Franklin Jr., Robert Franklin and Cynthia Jones and

have seven grandchildren and nine great-grandchildren.

Historically, June has been themost popular month for gettingmarried. But some numbers nowindicate that July and even Octoberhave begun to edge out June as themost popular months to tie the knot.

The June wedding tradition maybe traced back to the ancient Ro-mans. Romans honored Juno, thegoddess of marriage and childbirth,and the month of June was namedafter her, so it is fitting that wed-dings take place in her namesakemonth.

It was a prime time for people tocome out after a long winter andtake communal baths in the 15thcentury. June weddings also meantchildren conceived after betrothalwould be born close to or during thespring. This helped assure young-sters’ survival during the rough andoften lean months of winter. Springbirths would not conflict with work-ers’ demanding schedules duringthe autumn harvest, either.

Even when weddings began shift-ing from pragmatic business trans-actions to romantic affairs, June re-mained popular.

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Mr. and Mrs. Melvin Lee Paul

Melvin Lee Paul and Joanne Moody were married August

12, 1949 at Tilden Presbyterian Church. They live in Marissa.

In the late afternoon of the 1945 Tilden Picnic, Joanne

and her friends walked onto the picnic grounds and soon

met some fellows standing near the Ferris wheel. The girls

talked a bit then went to meet some friends.

The next day, Joanne hopped on her bicycle and rode a

block north of her house. One of the fellows she had met at

the picnic was sitting in a lawn chair in Solon and Pearl

Davison's front yard. He called for her to come to where he

was. That call would lead to many decades together, as they

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Melvin is a dairy/grain farmer. Joanne is a teacher in

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They are the parents of three children, five grandchil-

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Mr. and Mrs. Norlyn Wolter

Norlyn Wolter and Marcine Rosendohl of Sparta were

married June 18, 1955 at Peace Lutheran Church in Steele-

ville.

They met at the Trail, a dance hall on Route 3 north of

Chester.

Norlyn is retired from Prudential Insurance, and Marcine

was the former owner of Riechman's Shoe Store.

They are the parents of Mark, deceased, Jill Wolter

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dren and one great-grandson.

Steeped in tradition, weddingshave featured many of the samecomponents for centuries. Thoseabout to tie the knot may feel some-what limited in their ability to shapetheir weddings into unique celebra-tions of their relationships and lovefor one another. Although it maynot seem like there are many op-portunities to put your own stampon the wedding, there are plenty ofways to do just that.

When looking to personalize yourwedding ceremony, determine ifthere might be anything blockingyou from doing so. For example, ifyours will be a religious ceremony,there may be certain rites that needto be followed.

● Vows: Vows are one of the easi-est ways to put a personal touch onyour wedding. You can select thewords you want to exchange dur-ing the ceremony as well as anyreadings during the service.

● Participants: Wedding partymembers fulfill certain roles dur-ing the ceremony, but they are notlimited to those tasks alone. Con-sider asking wedding party mem-bers or other friends or family totake on specialized roles in the wed-ding. They may be able to do cer-tain readings, light candles, or singand participate in other ways.

● Musical interludes: Choosemusic that connects with your per-sonalities as a couple rather thanselecting standard songs merely be-cause they are the easier route.

● Candle lighting: Many coupleslike to incorporate candle-lightingcomponents to their ceremonies.Lighting unity candles blends twofamilies together into one in a sym-bolic way. Other couples choose dif-ferent traditions, such as mixing twodifferent-colored sands in a newvessel, to represent the joining oftwo lives together.

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The presentation of the wed-ding cake marks the culmina-tion of the day’s festivities and afinal symbol of a happy couple’snew partnership. Many peopleeagerly await the cake as muchas they may anticipate catchinga glimpse of the bride in herbeautiful gown. While the cakein all its finery can be a beautifulsight to behold, a cake can onlylast so long before its fate as adelicious dessert is sealed.

As is the case with many wed-ding traditions, there is someestablished etiquette with re-gard to cutting and serving wed-ding cake. If you plan to putyour cake on display, be sure itis made with a frosting and fill-ing that can endure room tem-perature. Certain creams maysour if not refrigerated, and youdo not want anyone becomingill. If you have your heart set onperishable fillings, keep the cake

held that this tradition wouldhelp an unmarried woman finda husband. Make arrangementsfor proper packaging of thegroom’s cake, so guests can takehome a slice if they so desire.

The waitstaff typically han-dles the slicing of the cake. Theuppermost tier is reserved forthe couple to save, and the re-mainder of the cake will beserved.

Recognize that not all guestslike cake, but it’s better to err onthe side of caution and have acake that will feed all of theguests. You also may want tooffer a dessert bar for guestswho prefer another type ofsweet treat. However, this is aluxury, not a necessity.

The cake-cutting ritual at wed-dings has withstood the test oftime, and many couples still pre-fer to present the cake with fan-fare and excitement.

Cutting The Cake etiquette and guidelinesrefrigerated, then have the bigreveal right before it is cut.

The cake cutting usuallycomes near the end of the wed-ding reception. Schedule thecutting so older guests or youngchildren can leave without feel-ing as if they would be offend-ing anyone. The emcee of theevening typically announces thecake cutting, and the band mayplay a quirky tune or revisit thewedding song while the firstslice is being cut.

A bride should hold the cakeknife with her right hand, whilethe groom places his right handover hers before they proceedto slice down together. If thecake has a foam or cardboardsupport, be careful not to cutthrough it. Use a cake server tograb the first piece.

Traditionally the newly be-trothed will feed each other abite of the cake to symbolize

their first meal as a couple.Couples can feed each other asmall amount, taking care notto spill any.

Most couples no longer em-brace the once-popular tradi-tion of smashing cake in eachother’s faces, but whether or notcouples follow this tradition isup to them.

Some couples like to servetheir parents a piece of cake.Traditionally the bride shouldserve the groom’s parents andthe groom the bride’s parents.

If there is a groom’s cake,guests may prefer a slice of bothcakes. Guests may also want totake home a slice of the groom’scake. Tradition states that apiece of the groom’s cake shouldbe presented to an unmarriedwoman attending the wedding.

The woman is not expected toeat the cake, but rather to put itunder her pillow. Superstition

Mr. and Mrs. Ron Gaetz

Ron Gaetz and Bonnie Ellenberg were married December

12, 1956 in Cornith, Mississippi.

Ron retired from Captain Mine and Bonnie is a home-

maker.

They have three children Rhonda (George) Heisner, Rich-

ard (Betty) Gaetz and Linda (Roger) Koker. They have 10

grandchildren and 17 great-grandchildren.

The couple resides in Cutler.


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Mr. and Mrs. Arvel Froemling

Arvel Froemling and Barbara Reeder were married Au-gust 31, 1956 at Nazarene Church in Murphysboro.

Following the ceremony, the wedding party was

caravaning around the courthouse, when they were stoppedby police who told the newlyweds, "Every car must stop ateach stop sign with no exceptions."

They are the parents of Karen (Mike) Tripp, Rick (Bev)Froemling, Fred (Mona) Froemling and Pam (Charles)Wooden. They have 12 grandchildren and 13 great-grand-

children.The retired couple lives in Campbell Hill.

Couples planning their wed-dings realize pretty quickly justhow expensive weddings can be.Depending on where couples tiethe knot, the costs can stretchinto the tens of thousands ofdollars, leaving many youngmen and women to scramble tofind ways to trim costs withoutcutting quality.

Many couples look for waysto cut wedding costs, andcouples facing that very di-lemma should know that thereare several ways to save moneybut still host the wedding of theirdreams.

Guest ListGuest lists can consume a sig-

nificant portion of couples’ wed-ding budgets. When compilingthe guest list, keep in mind thatguests will need save-the-datecards, invitations, catered meals(including cocktail hour, dinnerand dessert), drinks and gifts(including hotel gift bags andwedding favors).

So the cost per guest will bemore than just the per-personcost of the meal they negotiatewith their caterer. Couples whocan pare their guests lists down

Easy ways to trim wedding coststo just family and close friendscan save a substantial amount ofmoney without affecting the cer-emony.

ReceptionA couple’s wedding reception

also will chew up a lot of thewedding budget. Couples plan-ning a morning wedding canshift their receptions from theevening to the afternoon, whenthe cost per meal will be consid-erably less.

Afternoon receptions also canbe alcohol-free, saving coupleseven more money. If a night-time reception is a must-have,choose a limited cash bar insteadof an open bar. Limited cash barsoften provide guests with freebeer and house wine, whileguests who prefer liquor ormixed drinks must pay for theirown libations.

If you are planning an out-door wedding reception, youmay even be able to provide yourown alcohol, which can save aconsiderable amount of money.

Couples also can trim recep-tion costs by choosing the leastexpensive meal package. If youfind the packages offered by

your venue are similar, choosethe least expensive option.

ArrangementsFloral arrangements are a big

and potentially expensive partof many weddings. The brideneeds her bouquet, as do herbridesmaids. In addition, manycouples decorate their ceremonyspace with flowers, and ofcourse, reception table center-pieces typically include flowersas well.

When working with your flo-rist, request in-season flowers,which will cost considerably lessthan exotic flowers.

Let your florist know yourbudget and ask that he or sherecommend flowers that won’tbreak the bank.

GiftsCouples should not break the

bank with regard to receptiongifts, which have become a stan-dard offering. Keep such giftssimple and inexpensive, evenopting for homemade gifts if youand your future spouse areskilled with crafts.

Wedding costs can be eye-opening for couples preparingto walk down the aisle.


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Mr. and Mrs. Leroy Rieckenberg

Leroy Rieckenberg and Della Mae Ehlers were married

January 6, 1951 at St. Luke's Lutheran Church in Campbell

Hill, where they still reside.

They dated three years while attending high school. He

was 19 and she 17 when they got married.

Leroy retired from Captain Mine but keeps busy helping

out the family business Ricky Rover Rooter Roasters. Mae

retired after 28 years in the Jackson County clerk's office.

They are the parents of Randy Rieckenberg, Sharon

(Steve) Toler, Julie (Scott) Schutte and deceased daughter

Diana (John) Pierce. They have 11 grandchildren, 17 great-

grandchildren and one deceased granddaughter.

A couple’s first dance as manand wife is a cherished wed-ding tradition. While the firstdance can help set a positivetone for the reception, it alsocan negatively impact the fes-tivities if a poor song is chosen.

Couples may feel pressure tochoose the perfect song. Yes,this is a song that the couplehas selected to represent theirlove for each other, but it alsoshould be one that will speak tothe masses and can be thor-oughly enjoyed by all.

Couples want to avoid a songthat does not seem to fit withthe festivities. If you need a little

Popular first dance songsinspiration, turn to many of themodern hits you hear on theradio, which may help youshine in that first dance.

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Mr. and Mrs. Rayford Bradshaw

Rayford Bradshaw and Melba Gardiner were married

June 8, 1955 in Edinburgh, Mississippi with Leonard

McNeece, Rayford's uncle, officiating. Leonard had to stop

fishing to perform the ceremony.

Rayford was stationed at Scott Air Force Base. He met

Melba in 1954 while he was visiting with friends at their

Belleville apartment Thanksgiving Day. Melba worked at

Scott Field as a civil servant in the same building where

Rayford was training.

They have five children Theresa Forbis, Stephen, Brian,

William and Wayne Bradshaw. They have 33 grandchildren

and 12 great-grandchildren.

Rayford is retired from Menard Correctional Center, and

Melba retired as a rural mail carrier in Red Bud.

They reside at Cedarhurst in Sparta.

Couples may find that thelast few weeks before theirwedding days are filled withanticipation. As the big daydraws near, it’s understand-able if couples are a combina-tion of excited and anxious. Theexcitement stems from tyingthe knot, while the anxietymight be spurred by the desirethat everything goes off with-out a hitch.

While those last few weeksbefore a wedding day can behectic, it’s important thatcouples stay focused and re-member to perform a handfulof tasks as their big days drawcloser.

● Speak to your vendors.Vendors play a big role at wed-dings, so it’s important thatyou contact them to confirmwedding schedules and ensurethey have directions to the cer-emony and reception.

You will be busy on yourwedding day, so you may want

Last-minutewedding pointers

to provide the phone numbersof your maid of honor and bestman so vendors can reach themshould something go awry orneed to be addressed while youare preparing for the cer-emony.

● Write some checks. Manyvendors expect final paymenta week or two before the cer-emony, and it’s imperative thatyou make these payments ontime.

Revisit all of your contractsto determine when the finalinstallments of each paymentis due. Pay via check so youhave a record.

● Confirm rehearsal reser-vations. Contact your cer-emony venue as well as therestaurant where your re-hearsal dinner will be held toconfirm the time of the re-hearsal and your dinner reser-vation. When confirming thesedetails, it’s also good to makesure all bridal party members

and family who will be attend-ing the rehearsal and subse-quent dinner have transporta-tion to and from each venue.

● Prepare visitor bags. Manycouples like to leave visitorbags for their guests at the ho-tel where the majority of theirguests will be staying.

The weeks leading up to thewedding is a great time forcouples to prepare these bagsand arrange for their drop-offwith hotel personnel.

● Drop off personal items atthe reception venue.

If you have chosen to usepersonalized toasting glasses,cake servers and other per-sonal items at your weddingreception, drop such items offin the week leading up theweddings.

Arrange this dropoff withyour contact at the receptionvenue, at which time you alsocan confirm any additional de-tails about your reception.


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When couples tie the knot,many changes are in store, andmany compromises will bemade. Many lasting memorieswill be created, but in the weeksand months before their big days,a couple can easily get caught upin the whirlwind of weddingplanning, never taking inventoryof their feelings until their wed-ding day has arrived.

Come the wedding day, thebride and groom should not besurprised if some nerves set in.Surveys say 71 percent of brides-to-be suffered from some type ofnerves during the lead-up to thewedding. Ninety-two percent ofbrides experienced nerves on theday of the wedding or theevening before, while 66 percentreported that it affected theirdaily lives prior to the weddingor hampered their performanceand enjoyment during the dayitself.

Pre-wedding jitters are com-mon and can be the subcon-scious, telling a person thatsomething needs to be remedied.

Wedding nerves do not meana wedding is doomed; it justmeans certain issues may need

to be worked through. The fol-lowing are some ways to tamewedding-day nerves.

● Keep an open dialogue.Speak with your future spouseabout the things that may becausing your anxiety. Maybeyou have doubts on financialchoices or where you will liveafter the wedding. Communi-cating openly and honestly isone of the foundations of astrong relationship.

● Slow down and breathe.Wedding planning involvesmaking many decisions, andsometimes couples move atbreakneck speeds. Make slow-ing down a priority. Try to enjoya quiet dinner with just the twoof you. When enjoying peacefulmoments, take deep breaths,which can be calming and revi-talizing. If need be, considersigning up for a yoga or tai chiclass to force yourself to slowdown.

● Address performance anxi-ety. It’s easy to build up the bigday in your mind and hope ev-erything goes according to plan.But it’s impossible to plan foreach and every outcome.

NERVESTame wedding dayFocus on everything that can

go right rather than worryingabout what might go wrong.Also, realize that your guestsare your friends and family, whowill be forgiving of any hiccupsalong the way. You’re bound torecover gracefully from any mis-haps.

● Work on confidence. Wed-ding fears may stem from inad-equate self-confidence. Giveyourself a pep talk, and sur-round yourself with positivepeople. Keep the worry-warts atarms’ length for the time being.

● Recruit more help. Wed-dings are huge undertakings, soit’s no surprise that you mightfeel overwhelmed. Ask reliablerelatives or friends to double-check all of the last-minute de-tails. This way, you don’t feel itis all on your shoulders.

Wedding-day nerves are to beexpected and often have little todo with the decision to get mar-ried.

Planning such a big event canbe nerve-wracking, but there areways to combat any anxiety thatbuilds up as the big day drawsnear.

Invitations are a vital componentof wedding planning. In addition toinforming guests about the detailsof the ceremony and reception, wed-ding invitations convey the tone andstyle of the day.

While there are no rules govern-ing invitations, there are some waysfor couples to ensure they stay onschedule.

● Order invitations early.Couples can start looking at invita-tion options once the wedding dateand venue have been chosen. Thewedding stationery industry haschanged a lot over the years.Couples can now order invitationsfrom local retailers, use online print-ers or design and print their own.

Invitations should be wordedcarefully and proofed several timesbefore printing, so expect the pro-cess to take a couple of weeks fromstart to finish. Plan for this time so

Stay on schedule when mailing invitationsyou will have the invitations readyfor mailing roughly three monthsbefore your wedding day. Remem-ber to order extra invitations so youhave spares in case you make a mis-take or make last-minute guest listadditions.

● Get organized. Start preparinginvitations about a month beforeyou plan to mail them, as this givesyou ample time to write envelopesso you do not have to write them allon the same day. Keep the guest listhandy and double-check the spell-ing of names and the addresses.

Traditional etiquette suggests ad-dresses should be handwritten, butcomputer-produced calligraphy onenvelopes is now just as acceptable.Avoid printed labels. Be sure to havethe complete invitation weighed atthe post office so you will knowexactly how much postage is re-quired.

Purchase stamps for both the in-vitation and the response cards.

● Coordinate mailing time andRSVP deadlines. Mail invitationsroughly eight weeks before the wed-ding. This gives guests time to makeroom in their schedules and arrangefor travel, if necessary.

Set the response date for threeweeks before the wedding, so guestswill have the time to make a deci-sion and mail back the response.Many caterers require a final headcount one week before the wedding,so make sure your RSVP date is atleast two weeks before the big day.

● Don’t let responses linger.Check off who is coming and whocannot make it as you receive eachresponse.

This way you’ll know just howmany responses are still outstand-ing, and you can follow up if neces-sary.


Mr. and Mrs. Richard Smid

Richard Smid and Judy Shepard were married March 17,

1962 at the First Christian Church in Elkville. They live in

Du Quoin.

Richard is retired from the Illinois Central Railroad as a

conductor, and Judy is the owner and designer of My

Favorite Things in Du Quoin.

They have three children Leanna Rolla, Melissa Clagg

and Richard Smid and three grandchildren.

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