MY PERSONAL JOURNEY

Jason Smith

June 30th, 2010

On June 30th, 2010 I went to Abbottsford hospital June 30 with pain in my abdomen due to a cyst. I was there for many days which are very foggy. I was there for 3 weeks.

After 9 days I went back to ARH and then was transferred to RCH and spent approximately a month where they monitored the cyst in my abdomen. The Dr.’s decided it would not be operated on as the size was decreasing and I was sent home.

September 12, 201)

A day and half later (September 12, 2010) I went back to ARH in extreme pain.

My colon burst while I was on the XRay table. I felt a wash of pain run through my body from head to toe and almost crumpled to the floor.

Fast Forward – How Long?

Fast forward a month? A Month and a half?

I couldn’t really see what was going on around me and was very confused and would then drift off again. This went on for what felt like a long time but I don’t know what reality was.

Confusion / Delirium

I remember nurses rolling me on my side and putting pillows under me. It was very painful. I couldn’t talk to find out why or explain what was happening.

So many things were happening around me and I was confused and had questions but had no way of communicating it to them.

Sleeping? Awake? Agitated

I think I spent a lot of time sleeping and not awake.

A group of Doctors would come around and look at me and talk. I did not understand what they were saying and I would just look at them unable to find out what was happening and why I was like this.

I was very sad and lonely.

All I could do was lay there and stare out the window moving in and out of sleep/consciousness throughout the days.

Pain, Agitation and Delirium….

There were sounds that I got used to and over time voices that I would recognize without seeing the person but knew they would be coming to me next.

I was adjusted in my bed multiple times a day with the pillows being put in different spots so that my body wasn’t all in the same position. This was very uncomfortable and painful. It hurt a lot each time I was rolled onto one side or the other and at first I was very confused as to why the nurses kept moving me and causing me this pain.

Mellissa’s Story

Excerpt from Mellissa Smith’s letter

Eventually the tracheostomy was closed off.

I remember the Respiratory Therapist coming around a number of times a day and suctioning my lungs. I was asked to cough to try to get mucous out of my lungs and then they would suction it out.

This was extremely painful.

Eventually I got better enough that I was transferred to Step Down on I believe the 9th floor. I had started to feel a bit better about things.

As I started to be more and more aware feelings of sadness and depression would take over me. I had regrets, fears, uncertainties and lonleiness while I spent time getting better.

I had surgery and I thought I was getting better – but then things went downhill again. I became very depressed and angry.

At some point I remember getting a pic line put in me that ended up running close to my heart. I don’t remember if that was for the TPN or what exactly but it took an hour-ish to put in and they had to measure it exactly. I remember it being very weird/scary for some reason but don’t really remember why.

I thought I was getting better a few weeks before Christmas and maybe there would be a possibility of getting a day pass.

This came to an end when I woke up in ICU with a giant tube down my throat having no idea what had happened or was going on. My hands were tied to the bed rails and I remember my throat being extremely dry. I didn’t see anyone from my family for I don’t know how long so I had no idea what was going on. There was this powder that I remember them putting into the mask and it would spin around in there and make noise. I have no idea what it was. A few days later I was moved back to Stepdown. I found out that I had fallen asleep and they couldn’t wake me up and my vitals were all normal and then I woke up a day and a half or so later. It was very scary not knowing what was going on.

Boredom

Mel had brought in some stuff for me to write on and some pens and a few felts. One day I was bored and made up some warning signs similar to ones that I had seen the nurses put up outside some rooms. One said “CAUTION! TOXIC GASES” and then another one said “ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK!” and I put them up one beside the door and one on the door.

Recovering – Making it Home!

There was a dull pain a lot of the time and a lot of depression.

Finally I was released and got to go home. I think part of the reason was to save me from going crazy. I was crying a lot a lonely and missed my kids.

I was really sad as I missed a lot of their lives being in the hospital for 7 months.

My youngest Charlie was so hesitant and almost scared to come near me and it made me so sad. After they would leave I would cry and cry. I’m not sure if it was the medication making me so emotional or just everything wearing on me.

Pain, Delirium

As I became more and more awake I realized I couldn’t feel my legs. It seemed they were very numb and tingly at times. I couldn’t talk to find out why or explain what was happening.

My left leg went back to normal over time but my right leg is still numb on the top side from my waist down. I have since been seeing an Adaptive Kinesiologist to help with this but so far has not helped.

Hockey – oh Joy!

The nurses and staff were great.

When a hockey game was on I’d have them popping in to check out the score.

The nurses are worth every penny they get and do a phenomenal job and deserve a huge raise.