P R EditionA H S e n Makana e t n I e h T · 14.06.2017 · is on the case with her article about...
4
Grocott's Mail 19 May 2017 Makana S H A R P ! T h e I n t e r n e t Edition
Transcript of P R EditionA H S e n Makana e t n I e h T · 14.06.2017 · is on the case with her article about...
Gro
cott
's M
ail
19 M
ay 2
017
Mak
ana S
HARP
!Th
e Int
erne
t Edi
tion
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001
2M
AKAN
A SH
ARP!
G
roco
tt’s
Mai
l 19MAY2017
This
wee
k M
akan
a Sh
arp!
exp
lore
s ho
w s
ocie
ty h
as e
volv
ed a
nd a
dapt
ed
to li
ving
in th
e w
orld
wid
e w
eb s
pace
. The
Inte
rnet
is a
tech
nica
l phe
nom
-en
on th
at h
as c
hang
ed th
e w
ay w
e co
mm
unic
ate
wit
h ea
ch o
ther
. We
are
insp
ired
by th
e In
tern
et’s
abili
ty to
giv
e us
acc
ess
to a
n al
tern
ativ
e se
nse
of
real
ity,
a c
yber
-sca
pe, w
ith
a se
a of
innu
mer
able
app
s th
at s
erve
func
tion
s to
ne
eds
that
you
did
n’t e
ven
know
you
had
. Our
edi
tori
al te
am d
elve
into
the
Inte
rnet
’s in
tegr
al ro
le in
dai
ly li
fe a
nd h
ow it
has
com
e to
sha
pe th
e fa
bric
of
soc
iety
.
Ner
eesh
a Pa
tel i
s on
the
case
wit
h he
r art
icle
abo
ut h
ow In
tern
et la
ngua
ge
has
wor
med
its
way
into
our
eve
ryda
y la
ngua
ge.
Sher
eesa
Moo
dley
twee
ts a
bout
em
oji p
olit
ics
in s
ocia
l med
ia p
osts
. Kh
inal
i Bag
wan
deen
cra
cks
into
“bre
akin
g th
e In
tern
et”.
A
my
Piet
erse
refle
cts
on s
ocia
l med
ia a
nd a
uthe
ntic
ity.
Ka
ylei
gh D
amit
a sh
eds
light
on
the
Inte
rnet
’s da
rker
asp
ects
. A
nd A
yand
a G
igab
a in
spec
ts s
ocia
l med
ia a
ddic
tion
.
In th
e sp
irit
of t
he In
tern
et, m
ake
sure
to g
ive
us a
follo
w o
n Fa
cebo
ok @
mak
anas
harp
and
Tw
itte
r @m
akan
asha
rp17
to te
ll us
wha
t you
thin
k!
Won
deri
ng w
hat a
ll th
ese
ones
a z
eros
are
abo
ut?
Try
to c
rack
our
Mak
ana
Shar
p! b
inar
y co
de
We’
re
All
[#]o
nes
a
nd z
[H}e
ro
s So
cial
med
ia c
an b
e ad
dict
ive.
No,
ser
ious
ly,
it ha
s th
e po
tent
ial t
o go
bey
ond
its m
arke
t-ed
inte
ntio
n of
con
veni
ently
con
nect
ing
us
and
crea
ting
cybe
r-co
mm
uniti
es w
here
we
enco
urag
e an
d em
pow
er e
ach
othe
r w
ith
supp
ortiv
e sy
mbo
ls: “
likes
” and
retw
eets
. Co
uld
I be
add
icte
d to
my
soci
al m
edia
ap
ps? I
star
ted
to c
onsi
der t
his n
otio
n w
hen
I no
ticed
that
my
soci
al m
edia
exp
erie
nce
was
di
shea
rten
ing.
Tho
se [
inse
rt s
ocia
l m
edia
ap
p] “l
ikes
” did
n’t h
it as
har
d as
they
use
d to
. I j
ust d
idn’
t fee
l the
sam
e ru
sh a
fter
pos
ting
a #S
ham
eles
sSel
fie. I
eve
n ca
ught
mys
elf s
trat
-eg
isin
g ab
out h
ow I
coul
d sc
ratc
h m
y so
cial
m
edia
itc
h. M
y lo
gic:
mor
e fr
iend
s eq
uals
m
ore
“like
s”, s
o I d
ownl
oade
d so
me
new
so-
cial
isin
g ap
ps to
mak
e “o
nlin
e fr
iend
s”. T
hey
wer
e ju
st m
utua
l “fo
llow
er fo
dder
” ‒ p
eopl
e w
ho w
ere
prep
ared
to
unco
nsci
ousl
y “li
ke”
any
of m
y po
sts
prov
ided
tha
t I r
etur
n th
e fa
vour
. But
it st
ill d
idn’
t do
anyt
hing
for m
e.
My
soci
al m
edia
com
puls
ion
was
mor
e lik
e
scra
tchi
ng
a ra
sh a
nd
not
an i
n-n
oc
en
t itc
h.
As
soon
as
I
had
post
-ed
on
e p
ictu
re,
I sta
rted
pla
nnin
g th
e ne
xt o
ne s
o th
at t
he
“like
s” w
ould
was
h ov
er m
e lik
e a
soot
hing
w
ave
of c
alam
ine
lotio
n.
Sure
ly
this
ki
nd
of
depe
nden
cy
isn’
t he
alth
y? S
ocia
l med
ia n
ever
use
d to
mak
e m
e fe
el th
is a
nxio
us, n
or d
id it
pro
vide
suc
h br
ief b
urst
s of fl
eetin
g re
lief.
Initi
ally
, all
thes
e so
cial
med
ia a
pps
wer
e lik
e a
virt
ual p
hoto
al
bum
hub
. But
the
elem
ent o
f see
ing,
bei
ng
seen
, and
gra
ntin
g/re
ceiv
ing
appr
oval
cre
-at
ed a
ll th
e se
nsat
ions
ass
ocia
ted
with
goo
d ol
’ val
idat
ion
deliv
ered
in c
ondi
tiona
l dos
es
‒ “li
kes”.
I be
gan
to c
rave
it.
Addi
ctio
n is
not
an
issu
e of
a p
erso
n’s
will
pow
er; r
athe
r it i
s a n
euro
chem
ical
issu
e.
How
add
ictio
n hi
jack
s th
e br
ain,
a H
arva
rd
Hea
lth
Publ
i-ca
tions
ar
ti-cl
e,
expl
ains
th
e bi
olog
ical
pr
oces
s of
d
eve
lop
ing
an
addi
ctiv
e b
eh
av
iou
r.
“In t
he b
rain
, pl
easu
re h
as a
dis
tinct
sign
atur
e: th
e re
leas
e of
the
neu
rotr
ansm
itter
dop
amin
e in
the
nu
cleu
s ac
cum
bens
, a c
lust
er o
f ner
ve c
ells
ly
ing
unde
rnea
th t
he c
ereb
ral c
orte
x. N
eu-
rosc
ient
ists
refe
r to
the
regi
on a
s th
e br
ain'
s pl
easu
re c
entr
e.”Bi
olog
ical
ly,
it is
th
e co
mbi
ned
effec
t of
dopa
min
e an
d gl
utam
ate,
a n
euro
tran
s-m
itter
invo
lved
in t
he c
ogni
tive
func
tion
of
lear
ning
, th
at "
hija
cks"
the
bra
in's
rew
ard-
rela
ted
lear
ning
sys
tem
. Thi
s sy
stem
is a
lso
clos
ely
linke
d to
the
are
as o
f the
bra
in t
hat
are
resp
onsi
ble
for m
otiv
atio
n an
d m
emor
y.
Som
eone
who
is
clin
ical
ly d
iagn
osed
with
ad
dict
ion
is n
euro
chem
ical
ly m
otiv
ated
to
seek
out
the
sour
ce o
f ple
asur
e w
hich
is in
-
form
ed b
y a
mem
ory
that
is a
lmos
t la
ced
with
hig
h le
vels
of d
opam
ine.
Hum
ans
are
crea
ture
s of
hab
it, r
egar
dles
s of
whe
ther
th
ese
habi
ts a
re h
ealth
y or
not
. Aft
er le
arn-
ing
this,
I de
vise
d a
logi
cal p
lan
to e
nd m
y so
cial
med
ia d
epen
denc
y: d
elet
e ev
ery
app
off o
f m
y ph
one
until
my
brai
n co
uld
un-
lear
n th
is u
nhea
lthy
habi
t. Th
e en
d ‒
or s
o I t
houg
ht.
Des
pite
iden
tifyi
ng m
y ad
dict
ive
beha
v-io
ur, m
y at
tem
pt to
unp
lug
was
sho
rt-li
ved.
I h
ad u
nder
estim
ated
the
em
otio
nal w
ith-
draw
al o
f liv
ing
with
out "
likes
". I u
nder
stoo
d th
e bi
olog
y of
how
add
ictio
n m
anife
sts
it-se
lf, b
ut I
need
ed m
ore
info
rmat
ion
abou
t w
hy it
mig
ht h
ave
com
e ab
out.
I sat
dow
n w
ith A
nn A
shbu
rner
, a c
linic
al
psyc
holo
gist
at
the
Colc
ade
Cent
re, t
o di
s-cu
ss th
e dy
nam
ics o
f add
ictio
n. “A
ddic
tion
is
esse
ntia
lly a
n av
oida
nce
copi
ng s
trat
egy
for
avoi
ding
hav
ing
to d
eal w
ith d
ifficu
lt fe
el-
ings
or i
ssue
s […
] all
with
a s
elf-m
edic
atin
g eff
ect.
But
we
wou
ld o
nly
diag
nose
add
ic-
tion
if it
affec
ts o
ne’s
day-
to-d
ay f
unct
ion-
ing,
” sai
d As
hbur
ner.
She
elab
orat
ed o
n th
e ro
le th
at s
ocia
l med
ia o
veru
se m
ight
pla
y in
a
situ
atio
n in
volv
ing
addi
ctio
n: “S
ome
peo-
ple’s
sel
f-est
eem
is
depe
nden
t on
out
side
ac
know
ledg
men
t in
ord
er f
or t
hem
to
feel
ok
ay. T
his
is o
ften
ass
ocia
ted
with
tra
its o
f pe
rson
ality
dis
orde
rs li
ke n
arci
ssis
t pe
rson
-al
ity. W
e liv
e in
a c
ultu
re o
f nar
ciss
ism
, you
do
n’t n
eces
saril
y ha
ve to
hav
e th
e di
sord
er,
but y
ou c
an h
ave
trai
ts.”
I fou
nd m
ysel
f in
an a
mbi
vale
nt sp
ace:
ex-
tern
ally
I w
as n
oddi
ng in
agr
eem
ent
at t
he
biol
ogic
al a
nd p
sych
olog
ical
ratio
nalis
atio
n,
but
inte
rnal
ly I
shoo
k m
y he
ad in
irra
tiona
l de
nial
. Pfft
! I’m
abo
ve a
ll of
thi
s. Th
ere’s
no
way
tha
t a
mer
e “li
ke” c
ould
mak
e or
bre
ak
MY
day?
As
if! B
ut th
e dr
eade
d itc
h w
as s
till
ther
e an
d m
y fin
ger t
ips a
ched
to sc
ratc
h up
as
man
y “lik
es” a
s I c
ould
to fe
el o
kay.
W
ould
soc
ial
med
ia r
ehab
ilita
tion
be a
le
gitim
ate
thin
g? H
ealin
g is
a c
ontin
uous
pr
oces
s tha
t is s
peci
fic to
the
indi
vidu
al’s
cir-
cum
stan
ces:
unpl
uggi
ng fr
om s
ocia
l med
ia
may
wor
k fo
r so
me,
but
not
for
othe
rs. U
l-tim
atel
y, u
sers
sho
uld
be c
onsc
ious
of h
ow
soci
al m
edia
func
tions
in th
eir l
ives
, not
onl
y on
a p
ract
ical
com
mun
icat
ive
leve
l, bu
t als
o on
an
intr
aper
sona
l one
.
By A
YAN
DA
GIG
ABA
The
syn
thet
ic sw
eetn
ess
of
soci
al
med
ia
The
sum
of
ourse
lves
?So
cial
med
ia is
the
mod
ern,
vir
tual
fish
bow
l. W
e ar
e th
e fis
h sw
imm
ing
arou
nd, b
eing
wat
ched
by
mild
ly in
tere
sted
yet
crit
i -ca
l ou
tsid
e ob
serv
ers.
The
y fe
ed
us
with
lik
es,
com
-m
ents
, an
d re
actio
ns i
f w
e be
have
to
th
eir
expe
cta-
tions
. If
not,
cons
ider
you
r-se
lf ta
king
a t
rip d
own
the
toile
t.O
nlin
e lif
e is
a t
ricky
bus
i -ne
ss,
a w
hole
new
pla
ying
fie
ld. N
ow, i
t is
the
indi
vidu
al
up fo
r sa
le, w
ith o
ur fr
iend
s,
fam
ily,
and
colle
ague
s ou
r po
tent
ial
buye
rs.
With
pla
t -fo
rms
like
Face
book
, Tw
it-te
r, an
d In
stag
ram
, yo
u ar
e ex
pect
ed
to
perf
orm
yo
ur
life.
Pro
vide
you
r na
me,
a p
rofil
e pi
ctur
e, in
for -
mat
ion
abou
t you
rsel
f and
sha
re it
with
oth
ers.
In f
act,
the
mor
e th
e be
tter
. Vir
tual
pop
ular
ity
is t
he n
ew c
urre
ncy.
All
it re
quire
s is
for
you
to
cap
italis
e on
you
r ow
n id
entit
y.W
hy d
o w
e us
e so
-ci
al m
edia
? Co
nnec
-tio
n w
ith f
amily
and
fr
iend
s is
th
e m
ost
freq
uent
an
swer
, ne
ws i
s the
oth
er. Y
et,
muc
h of
wha
t is a
ctu-
ally
sha
red
on t
hese
pl
atfo
rms
is
selfi
es,
mem
es, p
erso
nal a
n-ec
dote
s, a
nd p
oliti
cal
opin
ions
. We
use
our
soci
al m
edia
site
s as
re
pres
enta
tions
of
ou
rsel
ves:
w
hat
we
look
like
, wha
t we
thin
k lik
e, w
hat w
e “t
alk”
like
, an
d w
hat w
e lik
e (a
nd d
islik
e, s
houl
d Fa
cebo
ok
ever
mak
e th
at a
n op
tion)
. But
is it
an
ac-
cura
te re
pres
enta
tion?
Our
soc
ial m
edia
acc
ount
s ar
e a
colle
c-tio
n of
car
eful
ly c
urat
ed f
eatu
res
of o
ur
selv
es th
at w
e w
ould
like
to p
rese
nt to
the
wor
ld.
We
can
edit
our
profi
le p
ictu
res,
de
lete
em
barr
assi
ng p
osts
from
our
pas
t, an
d bl
ock
peop
le w
e di
slik
e. W
e ca
n ed
it ou
r liv
es a
nd m
ake
them
look
the
way
we
wan
t the
m to
be,
the
way
we
wan
t oth
ers
to s
ee u
s.
Ther
e is
no
deny
ing
the
rush
that
com
es
with
num
erou
s lik
es a
nd c
ompl
imen
ts
from
peo
ple
you
bare
ly k
now
(alo
ng w
ith
the
occa
sion
al “H
ello
, how
are
you
?” fr
om
olde
r fa
mily
mem
bers
on
a m
eme
you
shar
ed).
Ther
e is
not
hing
wro
ng w
ith a
t-te
ntio
n, a
nd t
here
is n
othi
ng w
rong
with
us
ing
soci
al m
edia
as
a to
ol o
f sel
f-ex
pres
-si
on. B
ut h
ow m
uch
are
you
trul
y ex
pres
s-in
g yo
ur “s
elf”
whe
n w
hat
you
post
is d
e-si
gned
for t
he e
yes
of o
ther
s?Re
sear
ch
by
Geo
rgia
Te
ch
and
the
Ass
ocia
tion
for
Com
putin
g M
achi
nery
sh
ows
that
Ins
tagr
am p
hoto
s sh
owin
g fa
ces
are
38 p
erce
nt m
ore
likel
y to
re-
ceiv
e lik
es a
nd 3
2 pe
rcen
t m
ore
likel
y to
re
ceiv
e co
mm
ents
. Thi
s re
flect
s m
y ow
n pe
rson
al e
xper
ienc
e w
ith I
nsta
gram
: m
y se
lfies
alw
ays
rece
ived
the
hig
hest
num
-be
r of l
ikes
. Bec
ause
of t
his I
beg
an to
pos
t m
ore
selfi
es in
ant
icip
atio
n of
mor
e lik
es.
Any
thin
g re
mot
ely
abst
ract
wou
ld re
ceiv
e ne
arly
tw
o th
irds
less
of t
he li
kes
I wou
ld
get f
or a
sel
fie. A
nd w
ho w
ants
less
?
This
cur
renc
y of
like
s ch
ange
s th
e w
ay
we
use
soci
al m
edia
. It
begi
ns t
o pr
ovid
e le
ss o
f a
plat
form
for
self-
expr
essi
on a
nd
mor
e of
a s
pect
acle
of
the
self.
In a
201
0 jo
urna
l ar
ticle
by
Rune
Vej
by a
nd D
.E.
Witt
kow
er in
Pop
ular
Cul
ture
and
Phi
loso
-ph
y, t
hey
desc
ribe
how
on
soci
al m
edia
: “M
ere
cont
empl
atio
n an
d pa
ssiv
e ob
ser-
vatio
n an
d co
nsum
ptio
n ha
ve r
epla
ced
actu
al c
omm
unic
atio
n, a
nd s
ocia
l re
la-
tions
see
m t
o be
com
e ‒
to s
ome
exte
nt
at le
ast ‒
mer
ely
look
ing
at o
ther
peo
ple,
tr
ansf
orm
ing
our f
riend
s, in
our
eye
s, fr
om
activ
e pa
rtic
ipat
ing
subj
ects
into
obj
ects
of
inte
rest
and
ent
erta
inm
ent.”
That
is w
hat i
s so
str
ikin
g ab
out o
ur u
se
of s
ocia
l med
ia: i
t’s p
assi
ve e
ngag
emen
t w
ith t
he s
elf a
nd o
ther
. We
obje
ctify
our
-se
lves
whi
le o
bjec
tifyi
ng o
ther
s fo
r th
e sa
ke o
f be
ing
rele
vant
in
our
regu
lato
ry
echo
cha
mbe
rs.
“I t
hink
a la
rge
part
of
the
exci
tem
ent,
cert
ainl
y in
the
ear
ly d
ays
of t
he i
nter
-ne
t, w
as t
his
idea
of
disc
over
y, a
nd b
y di
scov
ery
I mea
n fo
llow
ing
alm
ost
intu
i-tiv
e an
d ex
plor
ator
y, le
t’s e
ven
call
them
em
anci
pato
ry p
ossi
bilit
ies
of k
now
ledg
e,”
says
Mile
s Ke
yloc
k, a
jou
rnal
ist,
edito
r, an
d co
nten
t cu
rato
r. “M
y ex
perie
nce
has
been
tha
t th
is h
as b
een
com
plet
ely
shut
do
wn
by F
aceb
ook,
due
to
the
fact
tha
t yo
u la
rgel
y en
gage
with
a c
omm
unity
of
frie
nds,
and
thos
e fr
iend
s ar
e pr
etty
muc
h re
gula
ted
acco
rdin
g to
sim
ilar
likes
. The
m
ere
fact
tha
t w
e ha
ve t
his
‘like
’ not
ion,
‘like
’ and
‘dis
like’,
the
re’s
alre
ady
an o
th-
erin
g pr
oces
s.”So
cial
med
ia i
s de
bata
bly
an a
ct o
f ba
d fa
ith, o
r sel
f-de
lusi
on, w
here
our
in-
tent
ions
and
act
ions
do
not m
eet.
We
may
bel
ieve
we
are
usin
g so
cial
m
edia
in
an e
xpre
ssiv
e an
d em
anci
pa-
tory
way
, but
a la
rge
amou
nt o
f the
tim
e w
e ar
e pa
ssiv
e co
nsum
ers
sim
ulta
ne-
ousl
y pu
ttin
g ou
r “se
lves
” on
show
.H
owev
er, t
his
does
not
mea
n w
e ar
e no
t ab
le t
o ch
ange
our
app
roac
h to
our
on
line
selv
es. K
eylo
ck a
rgue
s th
at s
ocia
l m
edia
cer
tain
ly i
s a
“man
ifest
atio
n of
th
e re
al”,
but t
hat u
sers
nee
d to
“eng
age
with
it c
ritic
ally
”. Bu
t how
do
we
do th
at?
“Bei
ng c
reat
ive,
” say
s Key
lock
. “W
hat t
hat
mig
ht m
ean,
of c
ours
e, is
that
you
mig
ht
lose
follo
wer
s, c
erta
inly
initi
ally
. But
you
m
ight
find
oth
er f
ollo
wer
s, a
nd o
ther
, ho
w’s
this
goi
ng t
o so
und,
rea
l frie
nds.”
Fi
ndin
g yo
ur p
assi
on ‒
suc
h as
art
, pho
-to
grap
hy,
or w
ritin
g –
and
expr
essi
ng
that
pas
sion
in
new
and
im
agin
ativ
e w
ays
on s
ocia
l med
ia m
ay b
e th
e ke
y to
be
ing
not s
impl
y a
cons
umer
, but
an
ac-
tive
and
orig
inal
pro
duce
r, re
gard
less
of
how
man
y fo
llow
ers
you
have
. Th
e lo
ss o
f cul
tura
l cur
renc
y m
ay b
e a
risk
in th
e ag
e of
the
capi
talis
ed s
elf.
But
it m
ay a
lso
be t
he d
iffer
ence
bet
wee
n be
ing
anot
her fi
sh in
the
bow
l and
mak
-in
g a
true
ges
ture
tow
ards
aut
hent
icity
.
By A
MY
PIET
ERSE
DID Y
OU KN
OW?
Bina
ry co
de is
a co
ding
se
quen
ce th
at o
nly
uses
the
digi
ts “0
” and
“1” t
o re
pres
ent d
iffer
ent
char
acte
rs su
ch as
the a
lpha
bet.
a = 0
1100
001
Grocott’s Mail 19 M
AY 2017 MAKANA SHARP!
3
It’s 11 o’clock on a hot night, hours away from
a cold dawn. Inside the Rat &
Parrot, the students take over the dancefloor, revelling in the heat and sm
oke. They survive on only a couple of dim
es and a prayer, enough to endure the toughness of the City of Saints each day. But just for tonight (and for a couple m
ore of those dimes, if they w
isely saved their coins), theirs w
as a City of Sin.A
s the music reaches fever pitch, som
eone’s cellphone rings. Suddenly, a cry rises above the throng, piercing the night w
ith the intensity of a gunshot:“I just W
hatsApped you!”
Ah, W
hatsApp. A
lmost everyone know
s and uses this instant messaging application. It’s
their preferred modus operandi, and just as they are guilty of using this app, they are also
guilty for letting its name creep into their vocabulary.
Same case for “D
M”, aka “D
irect Message”, w
hich you send to people on Twitter and
Instagram. G
one are the days of the old-fashioned “I’ll message you” – heck, even “SM
S me”
could earn you a couple of eye-rolls on these mean streets if you aren’t careful.
Where language is concerned, m
y friend, the internet has taken over. The way w
e talk is influenced by the w
ords and phrases that the online space has conjured up. Acronyms,
neologisms and abbreviations that w
e take from the Internet pepper our everyday speech to
give it that techno flair. If you try count on your fingers how m
any times you hear people say
things like “JK – just kidding”, “Friend me” or “IRL – in real life”, you’ll need to ask your friends to
lend you extra pairs of hands.If m
y investigative polls on the UCKA
R and Graham
stown Facebook pages are anything
to go by, the words “W
hatsApp m
e/DM
me” are the preferred vocab to use in place of the far
simpler w
ord, “Message.” The follow
ing can also be found in a perp’s arsenal:– G
oogle: a search browser’s nam
e that’s used as a verb a la WhatsA
pp, i.e. “I’ll Google it.”
– LOL: aka “Laugh out loud.” Com
es in different variants, eg. ROFL – rolling on floor
laughing. No laughing or rolling actually happens, go figure.
– #(Insert word): you w
anna say something relevant? Say it w
ith a hashtag.– G
oals: less complicated than aspirations. O
ften coupled with the hashtag; a deadly
combo w
hen said too much.
– Fam: call your friend that and don’t be surprised w
hen they turn up at the next family
braai.A
nd believe you me, there’s m
ore out there that the dictionary has yet to track down.
Hanging around in com
munities on Facebook, Tw
itter and Tumblr m
eans picking up the lingo, talking their talk, you know
. And they’re not sm
all comm
unities, either: you’ve now got
the whole w
orld and its mother sitting on their phones, PCs and tablets, and talking to each
other. You’ve got the kids out there posting their mugs on Instagram
, the star-eyed broad trying to m
ake a living from YouTube, and the sm
art aleck who runs his m
outh on Twitter to
anyone that listens. If they want an audience, they ain’t gonna ask nicely – they’ll say, “Like,
share and follow m
e.” Short, to the point, no questions asked. Their audience doesn’t need an interpreter to translate internet-speak.
Out of these social m
edia platforms, forum
s and threads comes a lexicon that the
mainstream
adopts like it’s a puppy that can do tricks. That’s not saying that it’s causing the English language to devolve or som
ething nutty like that. It just means that w
ords like “sharing”, “liking” and “follow
ing” have been given new leases on life, although repeating these
words can leave w
hoever is listening to do the exact opposite.Fact is, everyone is going to keep them
selves clued up on computer jargon, learning from
the PC to keep it PC, if you know
what I m
ean. O
therwise, keeping track of new
technologies or trying to understand your pal when he
says, “I’ve got a WhatsA
pp”, isn’t going to be easy.But w
ill those words, too, go the w
ay of the SMS, i.e. get taken out the picture?
That’s a mystery that not even G
oogle can solve.
by NEREESH
A PATEL
#ROFL
4M
AKAN
A SH
ARP!
Gro
cott
’s M
ail 19MAY2017
“Bre
akin
g th
e in
tern
et”.
Soun
ds s
impl
e, r
ight
? H
ow t
o br
eak
the
inte
rnet
: don
’t yo
u ju
st th
row
you
r lap
top
out t
he w
indo
w, o
r ope
n up
100
tab
s at
onc
e so
you
r br
owse
r cr
ashe
s? N
o, d
on’t
do t
hat.
Brea
king
the
int
erne
t is
a s
tran
ge c
once
pt;
it is
n’t
liter
al i
n an
y se
nse.
But
with
the
mod
ern
digi
tal i
nvas
ion,
we
are
intr
oduc
ed to
ne
w te
rms
that
don
’t al
way
s m
ean
wha
t we
thin
k th
ey d
o.So
, wha
t is
it, re
ally
?In
laym
an’s
term
s, br
eaki
ng t
he in
tern
et r
efer
s to
one
sin
gula
r to
pic
caus
ing
an u
proa
r onl
ine.
You
kno
w, s
omet
hing
that
goe
s vi
-ra
l for
the
wro
ng, a
nd th
e rig
ht, r
easo
ns. A
lthou
gh “g
oing
vira
l” ha
s si
mila
r ter
min
olog
y, th
ere’
s a d
iffer
ence
: vira
l pos
ts d
on’t
alw
ays i
n-cl
ude
sens
atio
nalis
ed to
pics
or c
eleb
ritie
s. A
vira
l pos
t is
any
form
of
med
ia th
at h
as b
een
shar
ed a
cros
s al
l soc
ial p
latf
orm
s zi
llion
s of
tim
es. B
reak
ing
the
inte
rnet
will
oft
en, i
f no
t al
way
s, be
cel
ebrit
y dr
iven
. Th
e co
ntro
vers
ial e
lem
ents
invo
lved
(w
heth
er t
hat’s
sm
acki
ng
a ph
otog
raph
er a
la J
ustin
Bie
ber
and
Ale
c Ba
ldw
in,
or w
alki
ng
arou
nd in
pub
lic w
ithou
t m
ake-
up)
are
wha
t w
e ca
ll a
good
old
pu
blic
ity st
unt.
The
purp
ose
is to
gai
n at
tent
ion
for a
n in
divi
dual
or
grou
p; it
doe
sn’t
mat
ter w
heth
er it
’s ne
gativ
e or
pos
itive
. M
any
inte
rnet
-bas
ed te
rms
float
aro
und
or la
y do
rman
t. “B
reak
-in
g th
e in
tern
et” h
as b
een
arou
nd f
or a
whi
le, b
ut s
tart
ed b
eing
us
ed m
ore
freq
uent
ly a
fter
Kim
Kar
dash
ian’
s in
fam
ous
nude
cov
er
By K
HIN
ALI
BA
GW
AN
DEE
N
By K
AYLE
IGH
DA
MIT
A
Whe
n I w
as 1
4 ye
ars
old,
it w
as a
ll th
e ra
ge t
o ha
ve M
xit.
If yo
u di
dn’t,
you
wer
e im
med
iate
ly b
rand
ed a
s so
cial
ly in
ferio
r at s
choo
l. It
was
this
fear
, of b
eing
unp
opul
ar a
nd in
adeq
uate
, tha
t led
me
to
dow
nloa
d th
e ap
p in
sec
ret o
n m
y ph
one.
I stil
l rem
embe
r th
e ha
untin
g gl
ow o
f th
at b
lue
‘M’ b
efor
e th
e ch
ats
and
my
“Ind
ieCh
ic” (
shor
t for
inde
pend
ent I
ndia
n ch
ic c
hick
) pr
ofile
load
ed. I
wou
ld o
ften
get
invi
ted
to m
ultim
ixes
, whi
ch w
ere
esse
ntia
lly g
roup
cha
ts s
urro
undi
ng p
artic
ular
top
ics
and
ofte
n w
ith p
eopl
e I d
idn’
t kno
w.
Man
y gi
rls a
t sch
ool m
et g
uys
onlin
e an
d pr
ocee
ded
to fo
rm re
-al
-life
rela
tions
hips
with
them
. As
a ro
man
tic b
ookl
over
, it s
eem
ed
far t
oo a
rtifi
cial
for m
e. B
ut th
ese
notio
ns d
id n
ot st
op m
e fr
om p
ar-
ticip
atin
g in
the
gam
es.
Rand
om b
oys
wou
ld in
vite
me
as a
con
tact
and
try
to s
trik
e up
a
conv
ersa
tion
with
me,
but
it w
as a
lway
s tr
ivia
l sm
all t
alk.
Wha
t’s
your
nam
e? W
here
do
you
live?
How
old
are
you?
It w
asn’
t stim
ulat
ing
or in
tere
stin
g.
Whe
n m
y re
spon
ses
wer
e to
o bl
and,
the
y re
sort
ed t
o ot
her
mea
sure
s. I r
ecei
ved
seve
ral “
dick
pic
s” w
ith a
n as
sum
ptio
n th
at I
wou
ld r
ecip
roca
te b
y se
ndin
g im
ages
of
my
own
geni
talia
in r
e-tu
rn. N
eedl
ess
to s
ay, I
was
far t
oo s
hy a
nd p
aran
oid
to ta
ke th
ese
pict
ures
of m
ysel
f. Bu
t whe
n I r
efus
ed th
em, I
was
met
with
ang
er.
Let’s
not
forg
et th
e le
gal i
mpl
icat
ions
of t
heir
actio
ns. R
emem
ber,
I w
as 1
4.
The
expe
ctat
ion
for
me
to s
hare
imag
es o
f m
y m
ost
intim
ate
part
s w
ith a
com
plet
e st
rang
er s
hock
ed m
e. E
ven
at t
hat
age,
I
knew
it w
as u
njus
tified
ent
itlem
ent.
Year
s ha
ve p
asse
d, b
ut I
am s
till b
omba
rded
by
mes
sage
s fr
om
men
ove
r the
inte
rnet
and
soc
ial m
edia
, eve
n on
the
mos
t unl
ikel
y ap
ps.
for P
aper
Mag
azin
e’s
prin
t and
onl
ine
editi
ons
in 2
014.
Th
e w
ords
, in
bold
, on
the
spre
ad w
ere
“Bre
ak t
he i
nter
net
Kim
Ka
rdas
hian
” (w
hich
is e
xact
ly w
hat s
he d
id).
With
in a
sin
gle
day,
Pap
er
Mag
azin
e’s
web
site
rece
ived
6.6
mill
ion
hits
, 5 m
illio
n of
whi
ch w
ere
by n
ew v
isito
rs.
Now
the
big
ques
tion:
how
can
you
, the
read
er, b
reak
the
inte
rnet
w
ithou
t str
ippi
ng?
You
mig
ht o
ccas
iona
lly c
ome
acro
ss st
orie
s abo
ut sm
all-t
own
mira
-cl
es, o
r vid
eos o
f pen
guin
s dan
cing
. As t
hese
reac
h m
illio
ns o
f peo
ple,
yo
u m
ight
be
dece
ived
into
thin
king
that
they
’ve “
brok
en” t
he in
tern
et
‒ bu
t the
y ha
ven’
t. Vi
ewer
stat
istic
s for
thes
e vi
deos
don
’t ev
en c
ome
clos
e to
the
nois
e ge
nera
ted
by o
ther
, mor
e po
pula
r, to
pics
. You
mig
ht r
emem
ber
the
hype
aro
und
Sele
na G
omez
and
The
Wee
knd
datin
g, y
es?
You
see,
it
does
n’t h
ave
to b
e a
sing
le im
age,
vid
eo o
r art
icle
. It c
an b
e a
stor
y, a
pi
ece
of n
ews o
r eve
n pe
tty
goss
ip w
hich
take
s sha
pe, a
s the
y be
com
e th
e ob
ject
s of
mem
es, a
rtic
les,
twee
ts a
nd a
nyth
ing
soci
al m
edia
-re-
late
d.
To b
e br
utal
ly h
ones
t, un
less
you
hav
e ce
lebr
ity s
tatu
s, I
doub
t th
ere’
s a
way
for y
ou, t
he a
vera
ge p
erso
n, to
bre
ak th
e in
tern
et in
the
“con
vent
iona
l” w
ay.
Of c
ours
e, y
ou c
ould
alw
ays
just
fors
ake
the
in-
tern
et a
nd th
row
you
r lap
top
out t
he w
indo
w, I
gue
ss. W
ho n
eeds
to
brea
k th
e in
tern
et if
you
don
’t ha
ve it
at a
ll?
I hav
e th
e Sc
rabb
le M
atte
l app
on
my
phon
e, w
hich
allo
ws m
e to
pla
y ag
ains
t ran
dom
opp
onen
ts w
ho a
lso
have
the
app.
One
of t
he a
pp’s
feat
ures
is th
at it
has
a s
ectio
n w
hich
allo
ws
you
to c
hat.
Som
e of
my
oppo
nent
s ha
ve a
ttem
pted
to
conv
erse
with
me.
M
ost o
f the
m a
re m
ale.
Dav
id*
in p
artic
ular
, tho
ught
it w
ould
be
cool
to
men
tion
wha
t a
beau
tiful
sm
ile I
have
, and
ask
whe
re I
am fr
om
even
thou
gh m
y pr
ofile
pic
ture
is m
erel
y a
tiny
icon
and
I ha
ve n
ever
m
et h
im.
On
Face
book
, my
“oth
er” i
nbox
is fi
lled
with
gre
etin
gs f
rom
for-
eign
men
that
I ha
ve n
ever
met
nor
hav
e an
y m
utua
l frie
nds
with
.
It st
ill a
maz
es m
e th
at c
erta
in m
en fe
el e
ntitl
ed t
o en
gage
with
w
omen
to th
e po
int o
f int
imid
atio
n.
And
yes
, it
is p
ossi
ble
that
the
se g
uys
use
soci
al m
edia
or
othe
r pl
atfo
rms
as a
mai
n so
urce
of
com
mun
icat
ion
beca
use
they
fee
l m
ore
com
fort
able
beh
ind
a sc
reen
, but
if th
ey a
re m
et w
ith n
o in
ter-
est,
then
why
do
they
con
tinue
to p
ursu
e th
e m
atte
r?
Onl
ine
obje
ctifi
catio
n of
wom
en re
flect
s th
e la
rger
soc
ieta
l iss
ue
of fe
tishi
satio
n an
d se
xual
isat
ion
of w
omen
in re
al li
fe. T
he in
tern
et
in t
his
case
is
utili
sed
as a
too
l to
fur
ther
sub
juga
te a
nd o
ppre
ss
wom
en.
Like
mos
t mod
ern
thin
gs, t
he in
tern
et h
as it
s pe
rks
and
its d
own-
side
s. Bu
t as
a w
oman
, sho
uld
one
of t
hese
“dra
wba
cks”
be
sexu
al
hara
ssm
ent?
Is th
at th
e pe
nalty
for h
avin
g a
vagi
na a
nd jo
inin
g th
e “t
echn
olog
ical
revo
lutio
n”?
It sh
ould
n’t
be, b
ut b
e ca
refu
l, fo
r th
e in
tern
et is
dar
k an
d fu
ll of
bo
ners
.
*Nam
e ch
ange
d.
Scre
ensh
ots t
aken
from
my
Face
book
inbo
x. Th
ese
are
som
e of
the
mes
sage
requ
ests
I ha
ve re
ceiv
ed si
nce
join
ing
the
soci
al m
edia
site
in 2
009.
