Original material copyright 2008 Dr. April Foreman all rights reserved. All other copyrights and trademarks are the property of their respective holders. www.docforeman.com

Girl Bullying: What educators can do

Expecting mean behaviors from girls without accepting it

April C. Foreman, Ph.D.

Changing Expectations

I know what Girl Bullying is, Dr. Foreman. So tell me what to do about it!

Help me think about the situation in a more effective way so that I’ll have the insight to deal with many kinds of girl bullying without feeling helpless and ineffective.

Recent news in “girl bullying” Kansas changed the laws this summer

What do we mean by “Girl Bullying?”

Story of Anne

Helpful Terms

Social Aggression Relational Aggression

Put your head down and cover your eyes.

Why might these forms of aggression be particularly appealing to girls?

Gender and Aggression

All children feel anger, jealousy, competition and aggression.

Girls are socialized to avoid expressing these feelings directly.

All girls (and all boys) engage in relational and social aggression from time to time.

Not all aggression is negative. Not all aggression is bullying.

“Girl” Bullying is

Repeated actions against a target Intentionally harmful to target Power imbalance between aggressor and

target

We expect that girls will bully

But we DO NOT accept it. Girl Bullying is common, but it is not healthy We expect children to feel and express

aggression, jealously, competition, envy, shame, and irritation.

We provide guidance, direction, correction, and consequences so that girls will be socialized to express themselves in healthy ways.

Girl Bullying is a result of:

Girl who have poor strategies or limited ability to manage feelings such as:– Jealousy/Envy/Shame– Competition– Dislike– Irritation

Why do girls struggle with these feelings?

Girls are socialized to act “nice” even when they don’t have nice feelings.

Girls are socialized to integrate and cooperate vs. compete. Consensus vs. Competition

Girls are socialized that they should “like” everyone and be socially generous.

Girls may have difficulty tolerating social disruption.

Girl bullying is a predictable phenomenon

All girls use relational and social aggression. But not all girls have a pattern of bullying. And not all girls are likely targets.

Characteristics of Girl Bullies

Tendency to prefer RA/SA over assertive behaviors

May use RA/SA for several reasons– Jealousy/Insecurity is #1 reason– Maintain or build status/power– Competition for attention from romantic interests– Learned behaviors from role models and peers– Entertainment, to alleviate boredom

Continued:

Good grooming and social skills Wants to please authority figures and appear

“nice” Poorer internal emotional regulation Hostile Interpersonal Attribution Bias

Continued:

Lower levels of empathy– May be a precursor in developing Anti-Social

Personality Disorder– Gender Bias in Conduct Disorder criteria

Characteristics of Targets

Target vs. Victim Three “Ds”

– Different– Dominant– Disruptive

Most- and least-liked of peer cohort May be less likely to “go along to get along”

Continued:

May have poorer social insight or social skills May tend to be more comfortable with critical

or direct feedback… “unvarnished truth” Bully perceives target as a threat in some way May have poorer emotional regulation… “push

button temper”

Continued:

May have less experience with playful RA/SA May have strong sense of justice… “whistle

blower”

Bottom Line: Not all bullies are the same and not all targets are the same

Common Techniques of RA Bullying

Gossiping Teasing/Public Humiliation Relational blackmail Ostracism/Exclusion Creating Paranoia Pranks and technology

Outcomes of Bullying

Peer rejection Maladaptive internalizing and/or externalizing

of problems Depressive symptoms and suicidal ideation Loneliness Obesity Eating Disorders

Outcomes continued:

Substance abuse and addiction Romantic and relationship problems Personality Disorders Dislike of women in general… “I’m a woman,

and I think women are generally bad.” Poor self-esteem Contagion…RA/SA is interpersonally

transmitted. If you allow it, it spreads.

Bottom line:

Understanding RA/SA helps us understand a significant factor in the adjustment problems in girls.

Changes in laws

There are new laws about cyberbullying in Missouri.

If you read further down that article…“The Missouri measure also requires school

officials to tell police about harassment and stalking on school grounds and expands state laws against stalking to cover "credible threats" not only against the victim but against family and household members and animals…”

Beyond liability, why should I care?

Relational aggression is disruptive to the education environment.

Girl Bullying puts children at risk for suicide, homicide, and other crisis events.

Teachers only intervene in 1:6 instances of bullying on the playground, and 1:5 in the classroom.

With awareness and a little training those ratios improve.

YOU have the power to reduce bullying in your school.

Interventions for Educators

Change situations where bullying occurs Structured activities for times, locations, and

situations where bullying is common Bullies and targets need referrals for more than

discipline– School Psychologist– FCMHC, Project Success, and Dr. Foreman

Class rules to discourage relational aggression

Interventions for Educators, cont.

Removing the Queen Bee Encouraging positive uses of social power and

status Focus on correcting skill deficit versus

punishing poor character Let girls know that you can help them get

“unstuck” without blaming or punishing.

Signs that you should refer

A girl is constantly stuck in the role of Bully or Target You notice “contagion” in a group of girls The Queen Bee is especially cruel, without empathy or

regret A girl’s academic performance is suffering. Signs of depression, anxiety, self-injury, or disordered

eating Suicidal, homicidal, or other risk behaviors

Intervention:For Schools

Whole school policies– “General statements” are not enough– Concrete statements about what is acceptable– Specific policies for faculty and students when

bullying is suspected– Focused programs for bullies and targets– Focus on positive goals rather than punishing

negative behaviors

Intervention:For Schools

Curricular interventions: Anti-bullying curriculum

Targeting individual aggressors and victims Training teachers and staff in RA/SA

– Teachers intervene in only 1/6 of playground bullying and 1/5 of classroom bullying

– Research shows training significantly improves intervention ratios

Intervention:For Schools

Structure playground time, lunch time, and other times when boredom may be contributing to instances to bullying

Workbooks

Intervention:Tips for success

Don’t use words to describe the girls’ characters or personalities

Use words that concretely describe the behavior patterns

Active listening skills– Open-ended questions– Accept/validate her POV– Avoid problem-solving

Intervention:Tips for success

– Offer options– Ask a girl, “What do *you* think you should do?”– Don’t tell her just to “ignore” it.

Does that really work?

Visit my web-site

www.docforeman.com Contact me with feedback and questions Access power point slides and resources Consultation and training options for your staff I enjoyed working with you! Let’s do it again

some time…

But what happened to Anne?

That depends on Anne’s teacher, principal, and school staff.

What if they minimize and invalidate her? What if they feel powerless to help her? What is possible if they intervene in a sensitive,

and informed way?