Opinion Americans have a love affair with their...
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South Platte Sentinel Wednesday, May 22, 2013 Page 7 Opinion Potpourrivia By Bud Christian America, it seems, has had a long love affair with pets of all shapes, types, and sizes. Sometimes there is a definite working function for the animal -hunting, retrieving, herding, search and rescue, contraband or bomb sniffing, to name a few - while recent Federal regulations have led to “companionship” animals which are sometimes just a ruse to bypass and ignore landlords’ rules against pets in their rental properties. I know of one instance where a college girl had her family doctor write a letter to confirm that she “needed her dog and cat to live with her for stability (hers) as companions.” The reality was that the girl simply didn’t want to be away from home without her pets so some doctor capitulated and signed a document verifying that she should be able to keep them with her even if her landlord had a policy that disallowed animals in his rental unit. Following are some curious facts about Americans and their pets: •A bipolar Missouri man has a registered “service parrot” named Sadie. “When I start having anxiety attacks,” he says, “Sadie says, ‘Jim, I love you, and then I feel better.’” •There is a rumor that Oprah has set aside a $30 million bequest for her five dogs. Although Oprah has denied it, I‘m not certain that it isn’t true. •One third of all pet owners give their pets birthday presents and two thirds give them holiday gifts. A large majority even sign cards and letters with their names as well as their pets’ names. •People can match photos of purebred dogs with photos of their masters 64% of the time. •One third of the women surveyed by the American Kennel club agreed with the statement: “If my dog was a man, he’d be my boyfriend.” •In 1960, fascination with all things French made the poodle America’s favorite dog. •In the early 1980s, up to a million potbellied pigs became pets in American households. A 1997 survey found that many of the porkers eventually became dinner. •Tori Spelling’s pug dog, Mimi La Rue, has an online diary called “Confessions from a Canine Drama Queen,” that says, “We might be moving back to LA - the city of superficiality and where dogs are merely accessories for spoiled celebrities who want their pictures on the cover of trashy tabloids.” •In 1935, an 8-foot alligator was found in an East Harlem sewer. The incident helped launch an urban legend which still persists about small pet alligators being dumped down the sewer and growing to man-eating size. •When Leona Helmsley died in 2007, she left $12 million to her Maltese dog but nothing to two of her grandkids and her 12 great- grandkids. Assuming annual expenses of $300,000 and a life expectancy of 15 years, the eight-year-old lucky dog could leave behind an “estate” of more than $9 million when he dies next year. •In 1907, the “New York Times” announced that pigeons had become the latest pet for fashionable women. •In the mid-1990s, the hedgehog pet craze spiked across the United States. Experts blamed a video-game character named Sonic for the increased popularity of the rodent- like creature. •In the late 1980s, the hype over “Teenage Ninja Mutant Turtles” film and related products led to record numbers of pet turtles being released into the wild. And, in 2003, “Finding Nemo” inspired many kids to free their fish - in the toilet. •More than 100 million Tamagotchi, digital handheld pets, have been sold around the world in the past few years. •Young Patty was sitting in her back yard digging a hole to bury her dead goldfish. Mrs. Johnson, who lived next door, was watching her over the fence. Mrs. Johnson asked, “Patty, what are you doing?” Patty said, “I’m digging a hole to bury my dead goldfish.” Mrs. Johnson said, “Patty, don’t you think that hole is a little big for a goldfish?” Patty said, “No - it’s inside your darn cat!” Previous question: Within 3,000 miles, what is the circumference of the Earth at the equator? (I know you read this in your textbook in a geography or earth science class at some time, so the information should be stored in your mind somewhere. All you need to do is dig it out.) Answer: The Earth’s circum- ference is exactly 24,902 miles. That would make the diameter at the equator 7,926 miles, which is the circumference divided by Pi (approximately 3.142). The Indiana state legislature once tried to legally “round off Pi to equal 3” because they felt it was too confusing for the school children to try to remember that decimal. I keep that story handy to use when my friends from Indiana get too big for their britches or start bragging about how intelligent their state officials have been. Question: What country in the western world was the first to impose a general income tax on its citizens? Hang up your cell phone and just drive. Peace! (Bud Christian, of Sterling, is the author of numerous books on the English language and trivia. Email comments or questions to [email protected].) Americans have a love affair with their pets
Transcript of Opinion Americans have a love affair with their...
South Platte Sentinel Wednesday, May 22, 2013 Page 7Opinion
Potpourrivia
By Bud Christian
America, it seems, has had a long love affair with pets of all shapes, types, and sizes. Sometimes there is a definiteworking function for the animal -hunting, retrieving, herding, search and rescue, contraband or bomb sniffing, to name a few - whilerecent Federal regulations have led to “companionship” animals which are sometimes just a ruse to bypass and ignore landlords’ rules against pets in their rental properties. I know of one instance where a college girl had her family doctor write a letter to confirm that she“needed her dog and cat to live with her for stability (hers) as companions.” The reality was that the girl simply didn’t want to be away from home without her pets so some doctor capitulated and signed a document verifying that she should be able to keep them with her even if her landlord had a policy that disallowed animals in his rental unit. Following are some curious facts about Americans and their pets: •A bipolar Missouri man has aregistered “service parrot” named Sadie. “When I start having anxiety attacks,” he says, “Sadie says, ‘Jim, I love you, and then I feel better.’” •ThereisarumorthatOprahhasset aside a $30 million bequest for herfivedogs.AlthoughOprahhasdenied it, I‘m not certain that it isn’t true. •Onethirdofallpetownersgivetheir pets birthday presents and two thirds give them holiday gifts. A large majority even sign cards and letters with their names as well as their pets’ names. •People can match photos of purebred dogs with photos of their masters 64% of the time. •Onethirdofthewomensurveyedby the American Kennel club agreed with the statement: “If my dog was a man, he’d be my boyfriend.” •In 1960, fascination with allthings French made the poodle America’s favorite dog. •Intheearly1980s,uptoamillionpotbellied pigs became pets in American households. A 1997 survey found thatmanyof the porkers eventually became dinner. •Tori Spelling’s pug dog, MimiLa Rue, has an online diary called “Confessions from a Canine Drama Queen,” that says, “We might be moving back to LA - the city of superficiality and where dogs aremerely accessories for spoiled celebrities who want their pictures on the cover of trashy tabloids.” •In1935,an8-footalligatorwasfound in an East Harlem sewer. The incident helped launch an urban legend which still persists about small pet alligators being dumped down the sewer and growing to man-eating size.
•When Leona Helmsley died in2007, she left $12 million to her Maltese dog but nothing to two of her grandkids and her 12 great-grandkids. Assuming annual expenses of $300,000 and a life expectancy of 15 years, the eight-year-old luckydog could leave behind an “estate” of more than $9 million when hedies next year. •In 1907, the “New York Times”announced that pigeons had become the latest pet for fashionable women. •Inthemid-1990s,thehedgehogpet craze spiked across the United States. Experts blamed a video-game character named Sonic for the increased popularity of the rodent-like creature. •Inthelate1980s,thehypeover“Teenage Ninja Mutant Turtles”film and related products led torecord numbers of pet turtles being released into the wild. And, in 2003, “Finding Nemo” inspiredmanykidstofreetheirfish- in the toilet. •More than 100 millionTamagotchi, digital handheld pets, have been sold around the world in the past few years. •Young Patty was sitting in her back yard digging a hole to bury her deadgoldfish. Mrs. Johnson, who lived next door, was watching her over the fence. Mrs. Johnson asked, “Patty, what are you doing?” Patty said, “I’m digging a hole to burymydeadgoldfish.” Mrs. Johnson said, “Patty, don’t you think that hole is a little big for a goldfish?” Patty said, “No - it’s inside yourdarn cat!” Previous question: Within 3,000 miles, what is the circumference of the Earth at the equator? (I know you read this in your textbook in a geography or earth science class at some time, so the information should be stored in your mind somewhere. All you need to do is dig it out.) Answer: The Earth’s circum-ference is exactly 24,902 miles.That would make the diameter at the equator 7,926 miles, which isthe circumference divided by Pi (approximately 3.142). The Indiana state legislature once tried to legally “round off Pi to equal 3” because they felt it was too confusing for the school children to
try to remember that decimal. I keep that story handy to use when my friends from Indiana get too big for their britches or start bragging about how intelligent their stateofficialshavebeen.
Question: What country in the western world was the first toimpose a general income tax on its citizens? Hang up your cell phone and just drive.
Peace! (Bud Christian, of Sterling, is the author of numerous books on the English language and trivia. Email comments or questions to [email protected].)
Americans have a love affair with their pets
