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IknewIlovedmydaughterfromthefirstmomentIfoundoutshewasgrowinginsideme.Ilovedherthereforetheonlysensiblechoicewasopenadoption.IlovedmychildtoomuchtohandherovertopeoplethatIhadnevermet.MyfeelingswereandalwayswillbethatifIwastooscaredtolookthesepeopleintheface,toknowandloveandbondwiththem,thenhowinthew

orldcouldI,ingoodconscious,handmybabyovertothemnevertoseeheragain?IknowwithoutasecondofguiltorremorsethatImadetherightchoiceinopenadoption.Nowmychildnotonlyhasonesetoffamilymemberswholoverher,but2,3,4.Now,wheneachofuswakesupeachdaytofaceanewpartofourlives,therearenohauntingunansweredquestionstogetintheway.NowIfeellikeIhaveasecondfamilytoo,notjustmydaughter.JenniferBouchardDoane,Birthmother(1)Inanopenadoption,thebirthparentslegalrightsofguardianshipareterminated,andtheadoptiveparents

becomethelegalparents.Openadoptionisaformofadoption,butinthiscasetheadopteeisabletoseebirthfamily.Thetypeofcontactvaries,theadoptivefamilyistheonewhodecideshowmuchcontactcanmade.Inmanycasesthedecisionwillbemutual,intheendthouacontractwillbewrittenupandbothfamilieswillhavetofollowthecontract.Inthe19thcenturyifayoungwomanwaspregnantandwantedtoplaceherchildforadoption,shedid,withwhoevershewanted.Usuallyitwasdonewiththeadviceandconsentofherparents,andgenerally,thechildwasplacedwithafamilymemberorsomeonefromherlocaltown.Therewerenoagencies,orcounselors.Nolegalpaperswereeverfiled,thegovernmentdidn'tgetinvolved,andnoone

butthebirthmotherwereeverconsultedastothewelfareofthechild.Inthelate19thcenturyclosedadoptionwasstarting.Infantsweretornfromtheirmother'sarmsandtakentoorphanageswhereadoptivefamiliespickedoutbabiesandchildrenwithnoknownbackgroundormedicalhistory.Themotherneverknowingwhereherchildwasifhewasokay,nothinglikethat.Inthe1960s-1970s:Unmarriedwomengivingbirthwerenolongerconsideredbad,andtheybegantodemandtherighttopickwhomightbetheirchildparent.Asthechildrenofthelate19thcenturygrewolder,begantodemandtherighttotheirbackgrounds.1990openadoptionisbeginningtotakeb

etterform,lawsarebeingmadeabouttherulesofopenadoption.(4)

Adoptivefamiliesfearthatthemothermightlaterwantchildback.Childmighthaveconfusiononwhoheissupposedtolove.Adoptivefamilyandbirthfamilymightnotgetalong.Theoppositionaboutadoptivefamiliesfearingthatthebirthmothermightwantchildback,canbeprovenwrong.Thebirthmothercannottakethechildbackoncethecontractissignedtheadoptiveparentsarelegalguardiansofthechild.Childlovesbothadoptiveparentsandbirthfamilyequallysothatproblemisnotthetruthineveryopenadoptioncase.Thesituationinwhichthe

adoptivefamilyandthebirthfamilymightnotgetalongishighlyunlikelybecausethebirthfamilymeetstheadoptivefamilyinthebeginningtoavoidproblemssuchasthisfromhappening.

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Childfeelsafullnessinhislifebecausehehasnoquestiononhismindonwhathisbiologicalparentsarelike.This,emptinessinthechildslifewillbringonmoreproblemsashe/shestartsgrowingupandtriestodiscoverwhohe/shereallyis.Sonowyouhavetwofamilies,onebybirththeotherbyadoptionYouhaveahomewhereyou

cangetyourheartachessoothedandmuchneededhugs.ThisisapoemwrittenbyanadopteehernameisBrendaRomanchikandithasagoodrepresentationofwhatyougetwhenyouhaveanopenadoption.Thebenefitsofhavingtwofamilies.Theyhelpyouthroughoutlife,theycomfortyouwhenyouneedcomfort,andgiveyouallthesupportyoucanpossiblyneed.TheexpressiontwoisbetterthanonecomestomindwhenIreadthisbecausehowcanitbeabadthingtohavedoubletheparents,doublethelove?

Thehelpgroupatcoldwatercenterbelievesthatdignity,hope,opportunityandlovearethebirthrightsofallchildren.Attheheartofitseffortisthecommitmenttohelpingyoungpeoplefulfilltheirpotentialtoleadpositive,productiveandrewardinglives.ThereasonIbringthisupisbecauseahighpercentageofchildrenwhogothereareadopted.Mostchildrenwhodontknowtheirbirthfamily.,haveadifficultlife.Theystartthinkingbadaboutthemselves,andthinkthattheirlivesarenotimportant.Kidslivelikethiswhentheydonotknowtheirbirthfamilyorthereasonwhytheyweregivenupforadoption.