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Starting to write about your worries is

very confusing . Should you begin to

talk about your work problems ,love

matters,social rejection or living in

solitude ? Should you propose solutions

or just complain? As far as for me,

Im going to take them all at once . Its

like biting a piece of a cake made of

your impossible love , your reciprocal

social rejection, your solitude, your

ambivalence in the relationship with

GOD. I take all the bitterness at once,so

I should spit it all at once.

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My case is like a person in a sea,where

everybody is swimming while I am the

only one barly floating. It feels like the

hole world is passing while I am just

floating there. Guess I dont have the

fuel to star my engine. I do not have

the social life based on the parties, the

technological ways to communicate

,and the shallowness of my society . I

am not the party animal,nor the

texting-idoing-etc- animal. Those

people are feeling to machines! They

say I love you ,kisses very easily andnot knowing how much they could

mean to a person like me . Maybe I am

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one of those people , maybe I am

feeling to machines : I get sad in front

of my laptop when I see the picture of

my impossible love ,I depress when I

see most of the people in pair or

groups having fun and enjoying life

.yeh ! we are both feeling to a machine:

I am being sad , and they are being

happy , both toward a machine

This kind of feeling has led to

search for just one in wich I can find

my happiness. And then I found HER .

HER is older than me ,she gets the best

of both worlds, she is blonde no it is

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not Hanna Montana- and my friend . To

HER , I am one of the guys . I am one of

her friends . To me , she is my friend .

She s a cactus and I am a ballon . IfI

try to reach , I would pop .. I could talk

about HER for ages , but I prefer not to

be love sick because I could reach the

stage where I am so desperate to hang

in anything I get . So, the deprived love

is added to the loneliness and rejection

from social difficulties .

In addition , a very simple problem

called low self estim hit me yes , I

am cursed :P-. I saw myself

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surrendering in front of the minorest

obstacle. Where was the smart creative

happy me? What did the people do to

me? my dream really became to fly ,

and get away from this mania . I want

simple ,yet complicated lifeI want to

feel the sens of achieving . But Ill have

to wait . And I guess thats the problem

: what if a baby got out from his

mothers belly too soon? Would he

leave ? That s me! Time can only

deliberate the free ,loving and loved

independent me . All I have to do , islive day by day ,hour by hour , beat by

beat ,PATIENCE I should have !

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What I wrote is just a simple opinion ,just thoughts from my life . Maybe

millions of people have felt the same

and now are laughing at people like me

eventually, I am one a seven billion

PS : GOD , GIVE ME PEACE LET ME BE

HONEST WITH MYSELF. U ARE THE

BEST MEDICATIONPLEASE LET MEKNOW IT !!