ONE Fine Morning the Collegiate Assessor, Kirill

8/14/2019 ONE Fine Morning the Collegiate Assessor, Kirill

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ONE fine morning the collegiate assessor, Kirill Ivanovitch Babilonov, who had died of

the two afflictions so widely spread in our country, a bad wife and alcoholism, was being

buried. As the funeral procession set off from the church to the cemetery, one of thedeceased's colleagues, called Poplavsky, got into a cab and galloped off to find a friend,

one Grigory Petrovitch Zapoikin, a man who though still young had acquired

considerable popularity. Zapoikin, as many of my readers are aware, possesses a raretalent for impromptu speechifying at weddings, jubilees, and funerals. He can speak

whenever he likes: in his sleep, on an empty stomach, dead drunk or in a high fever. Hiswords flow smoothly and evenly, like water out of a pipe, and in abundance; there are far

more moving words in his oratorical dictionary than there are beetles in any restaurant.He always speaks eloquently and at great length, so much so that on some occasions,

particularly at merchants' weddings, they have to resort to assistance from the police to

stop him.

"I have come for you, old man!" began Poplavsky, finding him at home. "Put on your hat

and coat this minute and come along. One of our fellows is dead, we are just sending him

off to the other world, so you must do a bit of palavering by way of farewell to him. . . .

You are our only hope. If it had been one of the smaller fry it would not have been worth

troubling you, but you see it's the secretary . . . a pillar of the office, in a sense. It'sawkward for such a whopper to be buried without a speech."

"Oh, the secretary!" yawned Zapoikin. "You mean the drunken one?"

"Yes. There will be pancakes, a lunch . . . you'll get your cab-fare. Come along, dear chap. You spout out some rigmarole like a regular Cicero at the grave and what gratitude

you will earn!"

Zapoikin readily agreed. He ruffled up his hair, cast a shade of melancholy over his face,

and went out into the street with Poplavsky.

"I know your secretary," he said, as he got into the cab. "A cunning rogue and a beast --the kingdom of heaven be his -- such as you don't often come across."

"Come, Grisha, it is not the thing to abuse the dead."

"Of course not, aut mortuis nihil bene, but still he was a rascal."

The friends overtook the funeral procession and joined it. The coffin was borne alongslowly so that before they reached the cemetery they were able three times to drop into a

tavern and imbibe a little to the health of the departed.

In the cemetery came the service by the graveside. The mother-in-law, the wife, and the

sister-in-law in obedience to custom shed many tears. When the coffin was being loweredinto the grave the wife even shrieked "Let me go with him!" but did not follow her

husband into the grave probably recollecting her pension. Waiting till everything was

quiet again Zapoikin stepped forward, turned his eyes on all present, and began:

"Can I believe my eyes and ears? Is it not a terrible dream this grave, these tear-stainedfaces, these moans and lamentations? Alas, it is not a dream and our eyes do not deceive

us! He whom we have only so lately seen, so full of courage, so youthfully fresh and

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pure, who so lately before our eyes like an unwearying bee bore his honey to the common

hive of the welfare of the state, he who . . . he is turned now to dust, to inanimate mirage.

Inexorable death has laid his bony hand upon him at the time when, in spite of his bowedage, he was still full of the bloom of strength and radiant hopes. An irremediable loss!

Who will fill his place for us? Good government servants we have many, but Prokofy

Osipitch was unique. To the depths of his soul he was devoted to his honest duty; he didnot spare his strength but worked late at night, and was disinterested, impervious to

bribes. . . . How he despised those who to the detriment of the public interest sought tocorrupt him, who by the seductive goods of this life strove to draw him to betray his duty!

Yes, before our eyes Prokofy Osipitch would divide his small salary between his poorer colleagues, and you have just heard yourselves the lamentations of the widows and

orphans who lived upon his alms. Devoted to good works and his official duty, he gave

up the joys of this life and even renounced the happiness of domestic existence; as youare aware, to the end of his days he was a bachelor. And who will replace him as a

comrade? I can see now the kindly, shaven face turned to us with a gentle smile, I can

hear now his soft friendly voice. Peace to thine ashes, Prokofy Osipitch! Rest, honest,noble toiler!"

Zapoikin continued while his listeners began whispering together. His speech pleasedeveryone and drew some tears, but a good many things in it seemed strange. In the first

place they could not make out why the orator called the deceased Prokofy Osipitch whenhis name was Kirill Ivanovitch. In the second, everyone knew that the deceased had spent

his whole life quarelling with his lawful wife, and so consequently could not be called a

bachelor; in the third, he had a thick red beard and had never been known to shave, andso no one could understand why the orator spoke of his shaven face. The listeners were

perplexed; they glanced at each other and shrugged their shoulders.

"Prokofy Osipitch," continued the orator, looking with an air of inspiration into the grave,

"your face was plain, even hideous, you were morose and austere, but we all know that

under that outer husk there beat an honest, friendly heart!"

Soon the listeners began to observe something strange in the orator himself. He gazed at

one point, shifted about uneasily and began to shrug his shoulders too. All at once he

ceased speaking, and gaping with astonishment, turned to Poplavsky.

"I say! he's alive," he said, staring with horror.

"Who's alive?"

"Why, Prokofy Osipitch, there he stands, by that tombstone!"

"He never died! It's Kirill Ivanovitch who's dead."

"But you told me yourself your secretary was dead."

"Kirill Ivanovitch was our secretary. You've muddled it, you queer fish. Prokofy Osipitch

was our secretary before, that's true, but two years ago he was transferred to the seconddivision as head clerk."

"How the devil is one to tell?"

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"Why are you stopping? Go on, it's awkward."

Zapoikin turned to the grave, and with the same eloquence continued his interrupted

speech. Prokofy Osipitch, an old clerk with a clean-shaven face, was in fact standing by a

tombstone. He looked at the orator and frowned angrily.

"Well, you have put your foot into it, haven't you!" laughed his fellow-clerks as they

returned from the funeral with Zapoikin. "Burying a man alive!"

"It's unpleasant, young man," grumbled Prokofy Osipitch. "Your speech may be all right

for a dead man, but in reference to a living one it is nothing but sarcasm! Upon my soulwhat have you been saying? Disinterested, incorruptible, won't take bribes! Such things

can only be said of the living in sarcasm. And no one asked you, sir, to expatiate on my

face. Plain, hideous, so be it, but why exhibit my countenance in that public way! It'sinsulting."

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A COLLEGIATE assessor called Miguev stopped at a telegraph-post in the course of his

evening walk and heaved a deep sigh. A week before, as he was returning home from his

evening walk, he had been overtaken at that very spot by his former housemaid, Agnia,who said to him viciously:

"Wait a bit! I'll cook you such a crab that'll teach you to ruin innocent girls! I'll leave the

baby at your door, and I'll have the law of you, and I'll tell your wife, too. . . ."

And she demanded that he should put five thousand roubles into the bank in her name.Miguev remembered it, heaved a sigh, and once more reproached himself with heartfelt

repentance for the momentary infatuation which had caused him so much worry and

misery.

When he reached his bungalow, he sat down to rest on the doorstep. It was just teno'clock, and a bit of the moon peeped out from behind the clouds. There was not a soul in

the street nor near the bungalows; elderly summer visitors were already going to bed,

while young ones were walking in the wood. Feeling in both his pockets for a match to

light his cigarette, Miguev brought his elbow into contact with something soft. He looked

idly at his right elbow, and his face was instantly contorted by a look of as much horror as though he had seen a snake beside him. On the step at the very door lay a bundle.

Something oblong in shape was wrapped up in something -- judging by the feel of it, awadded quilt. One end of the bundle was a little open, and the collegiate assessor, putting

in his hand, felt something damp and warm. He leaped on to his feet in horror, and looked

about him like a criminal trying to escape from his warders. . . .

"She has left it!" he muttered wrathfully through his teeth, clenching his fists. "Here itlies. . . . Here lies my transgression! O Lord!"

He was numb with terror, anger, and shame. . . What was he to do now? What would his

wife say if she found out? What would his colleagues at the office say? His Excellencywould be sure to dig him in the ribs, guffaw, and say: "I congratulate you! . . . He-he-he!Though your beard is gray, your heart is gay. . . . You are a rogue, Semyon Erastovitch!"

The whole colony of summer visitors would know his secret now, and probably the

respectable mothers of families would shut their doors to him. Such incidents always getinto the papers, and the humble name of Miguev would be published all over Russia. . . .

The middle window of the bungalow was open and he could distinctly hear his wife,

Anna Filippovna, laying the table for supper; in the yard close to the gate Yermolay, the

porter, was plaintively strumming on the balalaika. The baby had only to wake up and begin to cry, and the secret would be discovered. Miguev was conscious of an

overwhelming desire to make haste.

"Haste, haste! . . ." he muttered, "this minute, before anyone sees. I'll carry it away and

lay it on somebody's doorstep. . . ."

Miguev took the bundle in one hand and quietly, with a deliberate step to avoid

awakening suspicion, went down the street. . . .

"A wonderfully nasty position!" he reflected, trying to assume an air of unconcern. "A

collegiate assessor walking down the street with a baby! Good heavens! if anyone sees

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He reached the Myelkins' villa and stood still hesitating. He imagined himself in the

parlor at home, sitting reading the paper while a little boy with an aquiline nose played

with the tassels of his dressing gown. At the same time visions forced themselves on his brain of his winking colleagues, and of his Excellency digging him in the ribs and

guffawing. . . . Besides the pricking of his conscience, there was something warm, sad,

and tender in his heart. . . .

Cautiously the collegiate assessor laid the baby on the verandah step and waved his hand.Again he felt a spasm run over his face. . . .

"Forgive me, old fellow! I am a scoundrel," he muttered. "Don't remember evil against

me."

He stepped back, but immediately cleared his throat resolutely and said:

"Oh, come what will! Damn it all! I'll take him, and let people say what they like!"

Miguev took the baby and strode rapidly back.

"Let them say what they like," he thought. "I'll go at once, fall on my knees, and say:

'Anna Filippovna!' Anna is a good sort, she'll understand. . . . And we'll bring him up. . . .

If it's a boy we'll call him Vladimir, and if it's a girl we'll call her Anna! Anyway, it will be a comfort in our old age."

And he did as he determined. Weeping and almost faint with shame and terror, full of

hope and vague rapture, he went into his bungalow, went up to his wife, and fell on his

knees before her.

"Anna Filippovna!" he said with a sob, and he laid the baby on the floor. "Hear me before

you punish. . . . I have sinned! This is my child. . . . You remember Agnia? Well, it wasthe devil drove me to it. . . ."

And, almost unconscious with shame and terror, he jumped up without waiting for ananswer, and ran out into the open air as though he had received a thrashing. . . .

"I'll stay here outside till she calls me," he thought. "I'll give her time to recover, and to

think it over. . . ."

The porter Yermolay passed him with his balalaika, glanced at him and shrugged his

shoulders. A minute later he passed him again, and again he shrugged his shoulders.

"Here's a go! Did you ever!" he muttered grinning. "Aksinya, the washer-woman, was

here just now, Semyon Erastovitch. The silly woman put her baby down on the steps

here, and while she was indoors with me, someone took and carried off the baby. . . .

Who'd have thought it!"

"What? What are you saying?" shouted Miguev at the top of his voice.

Yermolay, interpreting his master's wrath in his own fashion, scratched his head and

heaved a sigh.

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"I am sorry, Semyon Erastovitch," he said, "but it's the summer holidays, . . . one can't get

on without . . . without a woman, I mean. . . ."

And glancing at his master's eyes glaring at him with anger and astonishment, he cleared

his throat guiltily and went on:

"It's a sin, of course, but there -- what is one to do?. . . You've forbidden us to have

strangers in the house, I know, but we've none of our own now. When Agnia was here Ihad no women to see me, for I had one at home; but now, you can see for yourself,sir, . . . one can't help having strangers. In Agnia's time, of course, there was nothing

irregular, because. . ."

"Be off, you scoundrel!" Miguev shouted at him, stamping, and he went back into the

room.

Anna Filippovna, amazed and wrathful, was sitting as before, her tear-stained eyes fixedon the baby. . . .

"There! there!" Miguev muttered with a pale face, twisting his lips into a smile. "It was a joke. . . . It's not my baby, . . . it's the washer-woman's! . . . I . . . I was joking. . . . Take it

to the porter."

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"To whom shall I tell my grief ?"

THE twilight of evening. Big flakes of wet snow are whirling lazily about the street

lamps, which have just been lighted, and lying in a thin soft layer on roofs, horses' backs,shoulders, caps. Iona Potapov, the sledge-driver, is all white like a ghost. He sits on the

box without stirring, bent as double as the living body can be bent. If a regular snowdriftfell on him it seems as though even then he would not think it necessary to shake it off. . .. His little mare is white and motionless too. Her stillness, the angularity of her lines, and

the stick-like straightness of her legs make her look like a halfpenny gingerbread horse.

She is probably lost in thought. Anyone who has been torn away from the plough, from

the familiar gray landscapes, and cast into this slough, full of monstrous lights, of unceasing uproar and hurrying people, is bound to think.

It is a long time since Iona and his nag have budged. They came out of the yard before

dinnertime and not a single fare yet. But now the shades of evening are falling on the

town. The pale light of the street lamps changes to a vivid color, and the bustle of the

street grows noisier.

"Sledge to Vyborgskaya!" Iona hears. "Sledge!"

Iona starts, and through his snow-plastered eyelashes sees an officer in a military

overcoat with a hood over his head.

"To Vyborgskaya," repeats the officer. "Are you asleep? To Vyborgskaya!"

In token of assent Iona gives a tug at the reins which sends cakes of snow flying from the

horse's back and shoulders. The officer gets into the sledge. The sledge-driver clicks to

the horse, cranes his neck like a swan, rises in his seat, and more from habit thannecessity brandishes his whip. The mare cranes her neck, too, crooks her stick-like legs,

and hesitatingly sets of. . . .

"Where are you shoving, you devil?" Iona immediately hears shouts from the dark mass

shifting to and fro before him. "Where the devil are you going? Keep to the r-right!"

"You don't know how to drive! Keep to the right," says the officer angrily.

A coachman driving a carriage swears at him; a pedestrian crossing the road and brushing

the horse's nose with his shoulder looks at him angrily and shakes the snow off his sleeve.

Iona fidgets on the box as though he were sitting on thorns, jerks his elbows, and turnshis eyes about like one possessed as though he did not know where he was or why he wasthere.

"What rascals they all are!" says the officer jocosely. "They are simply doing their best to

run up against you or fall under the horse's feet. They must be doing it on purpose."

Iona looks as his fare and moves his lips. . . . Apparently he means to say something, butnothing comes but a sniff.

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"What?" inquires the officer.

Iona gives a wry smile, and straining his throat, brings out huskily: "My son . . . er . . . my

son died this week, sir."

"H'm! What did he die of?"

Iona turns his whole body round to his fare, and says:

"Who can tell! It must have been from fever. . . . He lay three days in the hospital and

then he died. . . . God's will."

"Turn round, you devil!" comes out of the darkness. "Have you gone cracked, you old

dog? Look where you are going!"

"Drive on! drive on! . . ." says the officer. "We shan't get there till to-morrow going onlike this. Hurry up!"

The sledge-driver cranes his neck again, rises in his seat, and with heavy grace swings hiswhip. Several times he looks round at the officer, but the latter keeps his eyes shut and isapparently disinclined to listen. Putting his fare down at Vyborgskaya, Iona stops by a

restaurant, and again sits huddled up on the box. . . . Again the wet snow paints him and

his horse white. One hour passes, and then another. . . .

Three young men, two tall and thin, one short and hunchbacked, come up, railing at eachother and loudly stamping on the pavement with their goloshes.

"Cabby, to the Police Bridge!" the hunchback cries in a cracked voice. "The three of

us, . . . twenty kopecks!"

Iona tugs at the reins and clicks to his horse. Twenty kopecks is not a fair price, but he

has no thoughts for that. Whether it is a rouble or whether it is five kopecks does notmatter to him now so long as he has a fare. . . . The three young men, shoving each other

and using bad language, go up to the sledge, and all three try to sit down at once. The

question remains to be settled: Which are to sit down and which one is to stand? After along altercation, ill-temper, and abuse, they come to the conclusion that the hunchback

must stand because he is the shortest.

"Well, drive on," says the hunchback in his cracked voice, settling himself and breathing

down Iona's neck. "Cut along! What a cap you've got, my friend! You wouldn't find a

worse one in all Petersburg. . . ."

"He-he! . . . he-he! . . ." laughs Iona. "It's nothing to boast of!"

"Well, then, nothing to boast of, drive on! Are you going to drive like this all the way?

Eh? Shall I give you one in the neck?"

"My head aches," says one of the tall ones. "At the Dukmasovs' yesterday Vaska and Idrank four bottles of brandy between us."

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"I can't make out why you talk such stuff," says the other tall one angrily. "You lie like a

brute."

"Strike me dead, it's the truth! . . ."

"It's about as true as that a louse coughs."

"He-he!" grins Iona. "Me-er-ry gentlemen!"

"Tfoo! the devil take you!" cries the hunchback indignantly. "Will you get on, you old

plague, or won't you? Is that the way to drive? Give her one with the whip. Hang it all,

give it her well."

Iona feels behind his back the jolting person and quivering voice of the hunchback. Hehears abuse addressed to him, he sees people, and the feeling of loneliness begins little by

little to be less heavy on his heart. The hunchback swears at him, till he chokes over some

elaborately whimsical string of epithets and is overpowered by his cough. His tallcompanions begin talking of a certain Nadyezhda Petrovna. Iona looks round at them.

Waiting till there is a brief pause, he looks round once more and says:

"This week . . . er. . . my. . . er. . . son died!"

"We shall all die, . . ." says the hunchback with a sigh, wiping his lips after coughing.

"Come, drive on! drive on! My friends, I simply cannot stand crawling like this! Whenwill he get us there?"

"Well, you give him a little encouragement . . . one in the neck!"

"Do you hear, you old plague? I'll make you smart. If one stands on ceremony with

fellows like you one may as well walk. Do you hear, you old dragon? Or don't you care ahang what we say?"

And Iona hears rather than feels a slap on the back of his neck.

"He-he! . . . " he laughs. "Merry gentlemen . . . . God give you health!"

"Cabman, are you married?" asks one of the tall ones.

"I? He he! Me-er-ry gentlemen. The only wife for me now is the damp earth. . . . He-ho-

ho!. . . .The grave that is! . . . Here my son's dead and I am alive. . . . It's a strange thing,

death has come in at the wrong door. . . . Instead of coming for me it went for myson. . . ."

And Iona turns round to tell them how his son died, but at that point the hunchback gives

a faint sigh and announces that, thank God! they have arrived at last. After taking histwenty kopecks, Iona gazes for a long while after the revelers, who disappear into a dark

entry. Again he is alone and again there is silence for him. . . . The misery which has been

for a brief space eased comes back again and tears his heart more cruelly than ever. Witha look of anxiety and suffering Iona's eyes stray restlessly among the crowds moving to

and fro on both sides of the street: can he not find among those thousands someone who

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will listen to him? But the crowds flit by heedless of him and his misery. . . . His misery

is immense, beyond all bounds. If Iona's heart were to burst and his misery to flow out, it

would flood the whole world, it seems, but yet it is not seen. It has found a hiding-placein such an insignificant shell that one would not have found it with a candle by daylight. .

. .

Iona sees a house-porter with a parcel and makes up his mind to address him.

"What time will it be, friend?" he asks.

"Going on for ten. . . . Why have you stopped here? Drive on!"

Iona drives a few paces away, bends himself double, and gives himself up to his misery.He feels it is no good to appeal to people. But before five minutes have passed he draws

himself up, shakes his head as though he feels a sharp pain, and tugs at the reins. . . . He

can bear it no longer.

"Back to the yard!" he thinks. "To the yard!"

And his little mare, as though she knew his thoughts, falls to trotting. An hour and a half

later Iona is sitting by a big dirty stove. On the stove, on the floor, and on the benches are

people snoring. The air is full of smells and stuffiness. Iona looks at the sleeping figures,scratches himself, and regrets that he has come home so early. . . .

"I have not earned enough to pay for the oats, even," he thinks. "That's why I am so

miserable. A man who knows how to do his work, . . . who has had enough to eat, and

whose horse has had enough to eat, is always at ease. . . ."

In one of the corners a young cabman gets up, clears his throat sleepily, and makes for

the water-bucket.

"Want a drink?" Iona asks him.

"Seems so."

"May it do you good. . . . But my son is dead, mate. . . . Do you hear? This week in the

hospital. . . . It's a queer business. . . ."

Iona looks to see the effect produced by his words, but he sees nothing. The young man

has covered his head over and is already asleep. The old man sighs and scratches himself.

. . . Just as the young man had been thirsty for water, he thirsts for speech. His son willsoon have been dead a week, and he has not really talked to anybody yet . . . . He wants

to talk of it properly, with deliberation. . . . He wants to tell how his son was taken ill,

how he suffered, what he said before he died, how he died. . . . He wants to describe the

funeral, and how he went to the hospital to get his son's clothes. He still has his daughter Anisya in the country. . . . And he wants to talk about her too. . . . Yes, he has plenty to

talk about now. His listener ought to sigh and exclaim and lament. . . . It would be even

better to talk to women. Though they are silly creatures, they blubber at the first word.

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"Let's go out and have a look at the mare," Iona thinks. "There is always time for sleep. . .

. You'll have sleep enough, no fear. . . ."

He puts on his coat and goes into the stables where his mare is standing. He thinks about

oats, about hay, about the weather. . . . He cannot think about his son when he isalone. . . . To talk about him with someone is possible, but to think of him and picture

him is insufferable anguish. . . .

"Are you munching?" Iona asks his mare, seeing her shining eyes. "There, munch away,munch away. . . . Since we have not earned enough for oats, we will eat hay. . . . Yes, . . .

I have grown too old to drive. . . . My son ought to be driving, not I. . . . He was a real

cabman. . . . He ought to have lived. . . ."

Iona is silent for a while, and then he goes on:

"That's how it is, old girl. . . . Kuzma Ionitch is gone. . . . He said good-by to me. . . . Hewent and died for no reason. . . . Now, suppose you had a little colt, and you were own

mother to that little colt. . . . And all at once that same little colt went and died. . . . You'd

be sorry, wouldn't you? . . ."

The little mare munches, listens, and breathes on her master's hands. Iona is carried awayand tells her all about it.

NOTES

To whom shall I tell my grief?: Beginning line from an anonymous 15th or 16th century

religious poem

yard: where the horse, cabby , and cab are all based

dinnertime: Russian usually eat this meal anywhere from 12 to 3 p. m.

Vyborgskaya: section of Petersburg north of the Neva river

Police Bridge: bridge in downtown Petusky

stand: the coachman sat on the front box, two passengers sat behind the coachman; a third

passenger had to stand between the driver and the seated passengers

you old dragon: lit., Serpent, Son of Woe; a winged monster in Russian folklore

benches: being peasants from the country-side, cab-drivers lived in bachelor barracks

provided by the cab company

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ABOUT LOVE

by Anton Chekhov

AT lunch next day there were very nice pies, crayfish, and mutton cutlets; and while we

were eating, Nikanor, the cook, came up to ask what the visitors would like for dinner.He was a man of medium height, with a puffy face and little eyes; he was close-shaven,

and it looked as though his moustaches had not been shaved, but had been pulled out by

the roots. Alehin told us that the beautiful Pelagea was in love with this cook. As he

drank and was of a violent character, she did not want to marry him, but was willing tolive with him without. He was very devout, and his religious convictions would not allow

him to "live in sin"; he insisted on her marrying him, and would consent to nothing else,

and when he was drunk he used to abuse her and even beat her. Whenever he got drunk she used to hide upstairs and sob, and on such occasions Alehin and the servants stayed

in the house to be ready to defend her in case of necessity.

We began talking about love.

"How love is born," said Alehin, "why Pelagea does not love somebody more like herself in her spiritual and external qualities, and why she fell in love with Nikanor, that ugly

snout -- we all call him 'The Snout' -- how far questions of personal happiness are of

consequence in love -- all that is known; one can take what view one likes of it. So far

only one incontestable truth has been uttered about love: 'This is a great mystery.'Everything else that has been written or said about love is not a conclusion, but only a

statement of questions which have remained unanswered. The explanation which would

seem to fit one case does not apply in a dozen others, and the very best thing, to my mind,would be to explain every case individually without attempting to generalize. We ought,

as the doctors say, to individualize each case."

"Perfectly true," Burkin assented.

"We Russians of the educated class have a partiality for these questions that remainunanswered. Love is usually poeticized, decorated with roses, nightingales; we Russians

decorate our loves with these momentous questions, and select the most uninteresting of

them, too. In Moscow, when I was a student, I had a friend who shared my life, a

charming lady, and every time I took her in my arms she was thinking what I wouldallow her a month for housekeeping and what was the price of beef a pound. In the same

way, when we are in love we are never tired of asking ourselves questions: whether it is

honourable or dishonourable, sensible or stupid, what this love is leading up to, and soon. Whether it is a good thing or not I don't know, but that it is in the way, unsatisfactory,

and irritating, I do know."

It looked as though he wanted to tell some story. People who lead a solitary existence

always have something in their hearts which they are eager to talk about. In town bachelors visit the baths and the restaurants on purpose to talk, and sometimes tell the

most interesting things to bath attendants and waiters; in the country, as a rule, they

unbosom themselves to their guests. Now from the window we could see a grey sky, treesdrenched in the rain; in such weather we could go nowhere, and there was nothing for us

to do but to tell stories and to listen.

13, Bilal



"I have lived at Sofino and been farming for a long time," Alehin began, "ever since I left

the University. I am an idle gentleman by education, a studious person by disposition; but

there was a big debt owing on the estate when I came here, and as my father was in debt partly because he had spent so much on my education, I resolved not to go away, but to

work till I paid off the debt. I made up my mind to this and set to work, not, I must

confess, without some repugnance. The land here does not yield much, and if one is notto farm at a loss one must employ serf labour or hired labourers, which is almost the same

thing, or put it on a peasant footing -- that is, work the fields oneself and with one'sfamily. There is no middle path. But in those days I did not go into such subtleties. I did

not leave a clod of earth unturned; I gathered together all the peasants, men and women,from the neighbouring villages; the work went on at a tremendous pace. I myself

ploughed and sowed and reaped, and was bored doing it, and frowned with disgust, like a

village cat driven by hunger to eat cucumbers in the kitchen-garden. My body ached, andI slept as I walked. At first it seemed to me that I could easily reconcile this life of toil

with my cultured habits; to do so, I thought, all that is necessary is to maintain a certain

external order in life. I established myself upstairs here in the best rooms, and orderedthem to bring me there coffee and liquor after lunch and dinner, and when I went to bed I

read every night the Yyesnik Evropi. But one day our priest, Father Ivan, came and drank

up all my liquor at one sitting; and the Yyesnik Evropi went to the priest's daughters; as inthe summer, especially at the haymaking, I did not succeed in getting to my bed at all,

and slept in the sledge in the barn, or somewhere in the forester's lodge, what chance was

there of reading? Little by little I moved downstairs, began dining in the servants'

kitchen, and of my former luxury nothing is left but the servants who were in my father'sservice, and whom it would be painful to turn away.

"In the first years I was elected here an honourary justice of the peace. I used to have to

go to the town and take part in the sessions of the congress and of the circuit court, and

this was a pleasant change for me. When you live here for two or three months without a break, especially in the winter, you begin at last to pine for a black coat. And in the

circuit court there were frock-coats, and uniforms, and dress-coats, too, all lawyers, menwho have received a general education; I had some one to talk to. After sleeping in thesledge and dining in the kitchen, to sit in an arm-chair in clean linen, in thin boots, with a

chain on one's waistcoat, is such luxury!

"I received a warm welcome in the town. I made friends eagerly. And of all my

acquaintanceships the most intimate and, to tell the truth, the most agreeable to me wasmy acquaintance with Luganovitch, the vice-president of the circuit court. You both

know him: a most charming personality. It all happened just after a celebrated case of

incendiarism; the preliminary investigation lasted two days; we were exhausted.Luganovitch looked at me and said:

" 'Look here, come round to dinner with me.'

"This was unexpected, as I knew Luganovitch very little, only officially, and I had never

been to his house. I only just went to my hotel room to change and went off to dinner.And here it was my lot to meet Anna Alexyevna, Luganovitch's wife. At that time she

was still very young, not more than twenty-two, and her first baby had been born just six

months before. It is all a thing of the past; and now I should find it difficult to define what

there was so exceptional in her, what it was in her attracted me so much; at the time, atdinner, it was all perfectly clear to me. I saw a lovely young, good, intelligent, fascinating

14, Bilal



woman, such as I had never met before; and I felt her at once some one close and already

familiar, as though that face, those cordial, intelligent eyes, I had seen somewhere in my

childhood, in the album which lay on my mother's chest of drawers.

"Four Jews were charged with being incendiaries, were regarded as a gang of robbers,and, to my mind, quite groundlessly. At dinner I was very much excited, I was

uncomfortable, and I don't know what I said, but Anna Alexyevna kept shaking her head

and saying to her husband:

" 'Dmitry, how is this?'

"Luganovitch is a good-natured man, one of those simple-hearted people who firmly

maintain the opinion that once a man is charged before a court he is guilty, and to express

doubt of the correctness of a sentence cannot be done except in legal form on paper, andnot at dinner and in private conversation.

" 'You and I did not set fire to the place,' he said softly, 'and you see we are not

condemned, and not in prison.'

"And both husband and wife tried to make me eat and drink as much as possible. From

some trifling details, from the way they made the coffee together, for instance, and fromthe way they understood each other at half a word, I could gather that they lived in

harmony and comfort, and that they were glad of a visitor. After dinner they played a

duet on the piano; then it got dark, and I went home. That was at the beginning of spring.

"After that I spent the whole summer at Sofino without a break, and I had no time to

think of the town, either, but the memory of the graceful fair-haired woman remained in

my mind all those days; I did not think of her, but it was as though her light shadow were

lying on my heart.

"In the late autumn there was a theatrical performance for some charitable object in the

town. I went into the governor's box (I was invited to go there in the interval); I looked,

and there was Anna Alexyevna sitting beside the governor's wife; and again the same

irresistible, thrilling impression of beauty and sweet, caressing eyes, and again the samefeeling of nearness. We sat side by side, then went to the foyer.

" 'You've grown thinner,' she said; 'have you been ill?'

" 'Yes, I've had rheumatism in my shoulder, and in rainy weather I can't sleep.'

" 'You look dispirited. In the spring, when you came to dinner, you were younger, moreconfident. You were full of eagerness, and talked a great deal then; you were veryinteresting, and I really must confess I was a little carried away by you. For some reason

you often came back to my memory during the summer, and when I was getting ready for

the theatre today I thought I should see you.'

"And she laughed.

" 'But you look dispirited today,' she repeated; 'it makes you seem older.'

15, Bilal



"The next day I lunched at the Luganovitchs'. After lunch they drove out to their summer

villa, in order to make arrangements there for the winter, and I went with them. I returned

with them to the town, and at midnight drank tea with them in quiet domesticsurroundings, while the fire glowed, and the young mother kept going to see if her baby

girl was asleep. And after that, every time I went to town I never failed to visit the

Luganovitchs. They grew used to me, and I grew used to them. As a rule I went inunannounced, as though I were one of the family.

" 'Who is there?' I would hear from a faraway room, in the drawling voice that seemed to

me so lovely.

" 'It is Pavel Konstantinovitch,' answered the maid or the nurse.

"Anna Alexyevna would come out to me with an anxious face, and would ask every time:

" 'Why is it so long since you have been? Has anything happened?'

"Her eyes, the elegant refined hand she gave me, her indoor dress, the way she did her

hair, her voice, her step, always produced the same impression on me of something newand extraordinary in my life, and very important. We talked together for hours, were

silent, thinking each our own thoughts, or she played for hours to me on the piano. If there were no one at home I stayed and waited, talked to the nurse, played with the child,

or lay on the sofa in the study and read; and when Anna Alexyevna came back I met her

in the hall, took all her parcels from her, and for some reason I carried those parcels everytime with as much love, with as much solemnity, as a boy.

"There is a proverb that if a peasant woman has no troubles she will buy a pig. The

Luganovitchs had no troubles, so they made friends with me. If I did not come to the

town I must be ill or something must have happened to me, and both of them were

extremely anxious. They were worried that I, an educated man with a knowledge of languages, should, instead of devoting myself to science or literary work, live in the

country, rush round like a squirrel in a rage, work hard with never a penny to show for it.They fancied that I was unhappy, and that I only talked, laughed, and ate to conceal my

sufferings, and even at cheerful moments when I felt happy I was aware of their

searching eyes fixed upon me. They were particularly touching when I really wasdepressed, when I was being worried by some creditor or had not money enough to pay

interest on the proper day. The two of them, husband and wife, would whisper together at

the window; then he would come to me and say with a grave face:

" 'If you really are in need of money at the moment, Pavel Konstantinovitch, my wife and

I beg you not to hesitate to borrow from us.'

"And he would blush to his ears with emotion. And it would happen that, after

whispering in the same way at the window, he would come up to me, with red ears, and

say:

" 'My wife and I earnestly beg you to accept this present.'

"And he would give me studs, a cigar-case, or a lamp, and I would send them game,

butter, and flowers from the country. They both, by the way, had considerable means of

16, Bilal



their own. In early days I often borrowed money, and was not very particular about it --

borrowed wherever I could -- but nothing in the world would have induced me to borrow

from the Luganovitchs. But why talk of it?

"I was unhappy. At home, in the fields, in the barn, I thought of her; I tried to understandthe mystery of a beautiful, intelligent young woman's marrying some one so

uninteresting, almost an old man (her husband was over forty), and having children by

him; to understand the mystery of this uninteresting, good, simple-hearted man, whoargued with such wearisome good sense, at balls and evening parties kept near the more

solid people, looking listless and superfluous, with a submissive, uninterested expression,

as though he had been brought there for sale, who yet believed in his right to be happy, tohave children by her; and I kept trying to understand why she had met him first and not

me, and why such a terrible mistake in our lives need have happened.

"And when I went to the town I saw every time from her eyes that she was expecting me,

and she would confess to me herself that she had had a peculiar feeling all that day andhad guessed that I should come. We talked a long time, and were silent, yet we did not

confess our love to each other, but timidly and jealously concealed it. We were afraid of

everything that might reveal our secret to ourselves. I loved her tenderly, deeply, but Ireflected and kept asking myself what our love could lead to if we had not the strength to

fight against it. It seemed to be incredible that my gentle, sad love could all at once

coarsely break up the even tenor of the life of her husband, her children, and all the

household in which I was so loved and trusted. Would it be honourable? She would goaway with me, but where? Where could I take her? It would have been a different matter

if I had had a beautiful, interesting life -- if, for instance, I had been struggling for the

emancipation of my country, or had been a celebrated man of science, an artist or a painter; but as it was it would mean taking her from one everyday humdrum life to

another as humdrum or perhaps more so. And how long would our happiness last? What

would happen to her in case I was ill, in case I died, or if we simply grew cold to one

another?

"And she apparently reasoned in the same way. She thought of her husband, her children,

and of her mother, who loved the husband like a son. If she abandoned herself to her

feelings she would have to lie, or else to tell the truth, and in her position either wouldhave been equally terrible and inconvenient. And she was tormented by the question

whether her love would bring me happiness -- would she not complicate my life, which,

as it was, was hard enough and full of all sorts of trouble? She fancied she was not youngenough for me, that she was not industrious nor energetic enough to begin a new life, and

she often talked to her husband of the importance of my marrying a girl of intelligence

and merit who would be a capable housewife and a help to me -- and she would

immediately add that it would be difficult to find such a girl in the whole town.

"Meanwhile the years were passing. Anna Alexyevna already had two children. When I

arrived at the Luganovitchs' the servants smiled cordially, the children shouted that Uncle

Pavel Konstantinovitch had come, and hung on my neck; every one was overjoyed. Theydid not understand what was passing in my soul, and thought that I, too, was happy.

Every one looked on me as a noble being. And grown-ups and children alike felt that a

noble being was walking about their rooms, and that gave a peculiar charm to their

manner towards me, as though in my presence their life, too, was purer and more beautiful. Anna Alexyevna and I used to go to the theatre together, always walking there;

17, Bilal



we used to sit side by side in the stalls, our shoulders touching. I would take the opera-

glass from her hands without a word, and feel at that minute that she was near me, that

she was mine, that we could not live without each other; but by some strangemisunderstanding, when we came out of the theatre we always said good-bye and parted

as though we were strangers. Goodness knows what people were saying about us in the

town already, but there was not a word of truth in it all!

"In the latter years Anna Alexyevna took to going away for frequent visits to her mother or to her sister; she began to suffer from low spirits, she began to recognize that her life

was spoilt and unsatisfied, and at times she did not care to see her husband nor her

children. She was already being treated for neurasthenia.

"We were silent and still silent, and in the presence of outsiders she displayed a strangeirritation in regard to me; whatever I talked about, she disagreed with me, and if I had an

argument she sided with my opponent. If I dropped anything, she would say coldly:

" 'I congratulate you.'

"If I forgot to take the opera-glass when we were going to the theatre, she would sayafterwards:

" 'I knew you would forget it.'

"Luckily or unluckily, there is nothing in our lives that does not end sooner or later. The

time of parting came, as Luganovitch was appointed president in one of the western provinces. They had to sell their furniture, their horses, their summer villa. When they

drove out to the villa, and afterwards looked back as they were going away, to look for

the last time at the garden, at the green roof, every one was sad, and I realized that I had

to say goodbye not only to the villa. It was arranged that at the end of August we should

see Anna Alexyevna off to the Crimea, where the doctors were sending her, and that alittle later Luganovitch and the children would set off for the western province.

"We were a great crowd to see Anna Alexyevna off. When she had said good-bye to her

husband and her children and there was only a minute left before the third bell, I ran intoher compartment to put a basket, which she had almost forgotten, on the rack, and I had

to say good-bye. When our eyes met in the compartment our spiritual fortitude deserted

us both; I took her in my arms, she pressed her face to my breast, and tears flowed fromher eyes. Kissing her face, her shoulders, her hands wet with tears -- oh, how unhappy we

were! -- I confessed my love for her, and with a burning pain in my heart I realized how

unnecessary, how petty, and how deceptive all that had hindered us from loving was. I

understood that when you love you must either, in your reasonings about that love, startfrom what is highest, from what is more important than happiness or unhappiness, sin or

virtue in their accepted meaning, or you must not reason at all.

"I kissed her for the last time, pressed her hand, and parted for ever. The train had alreadystarted. I went into the next compartment -- it was empty -- and until I reached the next

station I sat there crying. Then I walked home to Sofino. . . ."

While Alehin was telling his story, the rain left off and the sun came out. Burkin and Ivan

Ivanovitch went out on the balcony, from which there was a beautiful view over the

18, Bilal



garden and the mill-pond, which was shining now in the sunshine like a mirror. They

admired it, and at the same time they were sorry that this man with the kind, clever eyes,

who had told them this story with such genuine feeling, should be rushing round andround this huge estate like a squirrel on a wheel instead of devoting himself to science or

something else which would have made his life more pleasant; and they thought what a

sorrowful face Anna Alexyevna must have had when he said good-bye to her in therailway-carriage and kissed her face and shoulders. Both of them had met her in the town,

and Burkin knew her and thought her beautiful.

NOTES

mystery: Ephesians 5:32

Yyesnik Evropi: European Herald, a liberal monthly

congress: a congress of justices of the peace, which acted as a court of appeals

gang: being part of a gang made the offence more serious

pig: that is, she will ask for trouble

19, Bilal



LOVE

by Anton Chekhov

"THREE o'clock in the morning. The soft April night is looking in at my windows and

caressingly winking at me with its stars. I can't sleep, I am so happy!

"My whole being from head to heels is bursting with a strange, incomprehensible feeling.I can't analyse it just now -- I haven't the time, I'm too lazy, and there -- hang analysis!

Why, is a man likely to interpret his sensations when he is flying head foremost from a

belfry, or has just learned that he has won two hundred thousand? Is he in a state to doit?"

This was more or less how I began my love-letter to Sasha, a girl of nineteen with whom

I had fallen in love. I began it five times, and as often tore up the sheets, scratched out

whole pages, and copied it all over again. I spent as long over the letter as if it had been anovel I had to write to order. And it was not because I tried to make it longer, more

elaborate, and more fervent, but because I wanted endlessly to prolong the process of this

writing, when one sits in the stillness of one's study and communes with one's own day-dreams while the spring night looks in at one's window. Between the lines I saw a

beloved image, and it seemed to me that there were, sitting at the same table writing with

me, spirits as naïvely happy, as foolish, and as blissfully smiling as I. I wrote continually,

looking at my hand, which still ached deliciously where hers had lately pressed it, and if Iturned my eyes away I had a vision of the green trellis of the little gate. Through that

trellis Sasha gazed at me after I had said goodbye to her. When I was saying good-bye to

Sasha I was thinking of nothing and was simply admiring her figure as every decent manadmires a pretty woman; when I saw through the trellis two big eyes, I suddenly, as

though by inspiration, knew that I was in love, that it was all settled between us, and fully

decided already, that I had nothing left to do but to carry out certain formalities.

It is a great delight also to seal up a love-letter, and, slowly putting on one's hat and coat,to go softly out of the house and to carry the treasure to the post. There are no stars in the

sky now: in their place there is a long whitish streak in the east, broken here and there by

clouds above the roofs of the dingy houses; from that streak the whole sky is flooded with pale light. The town is asleep, but already the water-carts have come out, and somewhere

in a far-away factory a whistle sounds to wake up the workpeople. Beside the postbox,

slightly moist with dew, you are sure to see the clumsy figure of a house porter, wearinga bell-shaped sheepskin and carrying a stick. He is in a condition akin to catalepsy: he is

not asleep or awake, but something between.

If the boxes knew how often people resort to them for the decision of their fate, theywould not have such a humble air. I, anyway, almost kissed my postbox, and as I gazed atit I reflected that the post is the greatest of blessings.

I beg anyone who has ever been in love to remember how one usually hurries home after

dropping the letter in the box, rapidly gets into bed and pulls up the quilt in the full

conviction that as soon as one wakes up in the morning one will be overwhelmed withmemories of the previous day and look with rapture at the window, where the daylight

will be eagerly making its way through the folds of the curtain.

20, Bilal



Well, to facts. . . . Next morning at midday, Sasha's maid brought me the following

answer: "I am delited be sure to come to us to day please I shall expect you. Your S."

Not a single comma. This lack of punctuation, and the misspelling of the word

"delighted," the whole letter, and even the long, narrow envelope in which it was putfilled my heart with tenderness. In the sprawling but diffident handwriting I recognised

Sasha's walk, her way of raising her eyebrows when she laughed, the movement of her

lips. . . . But the contents of the letter did not satisfy me. In the first place, poetical lettersare not answered in that way, and in the second, why should I go to Sasha's house to wait

till it should occur to her stout mamma, her brothers, and poor relations to leave us alone

together? It would never enter their heads, and nothing is more hateful than to have torestrain one's raptures simply because of the intrusion of some animate trumpery in the

shape of a half-deaf old woman or little girl pestering one with questions. I sent an

answer by the maid asking Sasha to select some park or boulevard for a rendezvous. Mysuggestion was readily accepted. I had struck the right chord, as the saying is.

Between four and five o'clock in the afternoon I made my way to the furthest and most

overgrown part of the park. There was not a soul in the park, and the tryst might have

taken place somewhere nearer in one of the avenues or arbours, but women don't likedoing it by halves in romantic affairs; in for a penny, in for a pound -- if you are in for a

tryst, let it be in the furthest and most impenetrable thicket, where one runs the risk of

stumbling upon some rough or drunken man. When I went up to Sasha she was standing

with her back to me, and in that back I could read a devilish lot of mystery. It seemed asthough that back and the nape of her neck, and the black spots on her dress were saying:

Hush! . . . The girl was wearing a simple cotton dress over which she had thrown a light

cape. To add to the air of mysterious secrecy, her face was covered with a white veil. Notto spoil the effect, I had to approach on tiptoe and speak in a half whisper.

From what I remember now, I was not so much the essential point of the rendezvous as a

detail of it. Sasha was not so much absorbed in the interview itself as in its romanticmysteriousness, my kisses, the silence of the gloomy trees, my vows. . . . There was not aminute in which she forgot herself, was overcome, or let the mysterious expression drop

from her face, and really if there had been any Ivan Sidoritch or Sidor Ivanitch in my

place she would have felt just as happy. How is one to make out in such circumstanceswhether one is loved or not? Whether the love is "the real thing" or not?

From the park I took Sasha home with me. The presence of the beloved woman in one's

bachelor quarters affects one like wine and music. Usually one begins to speak of the

future, and the confidence and self-reliance with which one does so is beyond bounds.You make plans and projects, talk fervently of the rank of general though you have not

yet reached the rank of a lieutenant, and altogether you fire off such high-flown nonsensethat your listener must have a great deal of love and ignorance of life to assent to it.Fortunately for men, women in love are always blinded by their feelings and never know

anything of life. Far from not assenting, they actually turn pale with holy awe, are full of

reverence and hang greedily on the maniac's words. Sasha listened to me with attention, but I soon detected an absent-minded expression on her face, she did not understand me.

The future of which I talked interested her only in its external aspect and I was wasting

time in displaying my plans and projects before her. She was keenly interested in

knowing which would be her room, what paper she would have in the room, why I had anupright piano instead of a grand piano, and so on. She examined carefully all the little

21, Bilal



things on my table, looked at the photographs, sniffed at the bottles, peeled the old

stamps off the envelopes, saying she wanted them for something.

"Please collect old stamps for me!" she said, making a grave face. "Please do."

Then she found a nut in the window, noisily cracked it and ate it.

"Why don't you stick little labels on the backs of your books?" she asked, taking a look atthe bookcase.

"What for?"

"Oh, so that each book should have its number. And where am I to put my books? I've

got books too, you know."

"What books have you got?" I asked.

Sasha raised her eyebrows, thought a moment and said:

"All sorts."

And if it had entered my head to ask her what thoughts, what convictions, what aims she

had, she would no doubt have raised her eyebrows, thought a minute, and have said in the

same way: "All sorts."

Later I saw Sasha home and left her house regularly, officially engaged, and was so

reckoned till our wedding. If the reader will allow me to judge merely from my personal

experience, I maintain that to be engaged is very dreary, far more so than to be a husbandor nothing at all. An engaged man is neither one thing nor the other, he has left one side

of the river and not reached the other, he is not married and yet he can't be said to be a bachelor, but is in something not unlike the condition of the porter whom I have

mentioned above.

Every day as soon as I had a free moment I hastened to my fiancée. As I went I usually

bore within me a multitude of hopes, desires, intentions, suggestions, phrases. I always

fancied that as soon as the maid opened the door I should, from feeling oppressed and

stifled, plunge at once up to my neck into a sea of refreshing happiness. But it alwaysturned out otherwise in fact. Every time I went to see my fiancée I found all her family

and other members of the household busy over the silly trousseau. (And by the way, they

were hard at work sewing for two months and then they had less than a hundred roubles'

worth of things). There was a smell of irons, candle grease and fumes. Bugles scrunchedunder one's feet. The two most important rooms were piled up with billows of linen,

calico, and muslin and from among the billows peeped out Sasha's little head with athread between her teeth. All the sewing party welcomed me with cries of delight but at

once led me off into the dining-room where I could not hinder them nor see what only

husbands are permitted to behold. In spite of my feelings, I had to sit in the dining-roomand converse with Pimenovna, one of the poor relations. Sasha, looking worried and

excited, kept running by me with a thimble, a skein of wool or some other boring object.

22, Bilal



"Wait, wait, I shan't be a minute," she would say when I raised imploring eyes to her.

"Only fancy that wretch Stepanida has spoilt the bodice of the barège dress!"

And after waiting in vain for this grace, I lost my temper, went out of the house and

walked about the streets in the company of the new cane I had bought. Or I would wantto go for a walk or a drive with my fiancée, would go round and find her already standing

in the hall with her mother, dressed to go out and playing with her parasol.

"Oh, we are going to the Arcade," she would say. "We have got to buy some morecashmere and change the hat."

My outing is knocked on the head. I join the ladies and go with them to the Arcade. It is

revoltingly dull to listen to women shopping, haggling and trying to outdo the sharp

shopman. I felt ashamed when Sasha, after turning over masses of material and knockingdown the prices to a minimum, walked out of the shop without buying anything, or else

told the shopman to cut her some half rouble's worth.

When they came out of the shop, Sasha and her mamma with scared and worried faces

would discuss at length having made a mistake, having bought the wrong thing, theflowers in the chintz being too dark, and so on.

Yes, it is a bore to be engaged! I'm glad it's over.

Now I am married. It is evening. I am sitting in my study reading. Behind me on the sofa

Sasha is sitting munching something noisily. I want a glass of beer.

"Sasha, look for the corkscrew. . . ." I say. "It's lying about somewhere."

Sasha leaps up, rummages in a disorderly way among two or three heaps of papers, drops

the matches, and without finding the corkscrew, sits down in silence. . . . Five minutes pass -- ten. . . I begin to be fretted both by thirst and vexation.

"Sasha, do look for the corkscrew," I say.

Sasha leaps up again and rummages among the papers near me. Her munching andrustling of the papers affects me like the sound of sharpening knives against each

other. . . . I get up and begin looking for the corkscrew myself. At last it is found and the

beer is uncorked. Sasha remains by the table and begins telling me something at greatlength.

"You'd better read something, Sasha," I say.

She takes up a book, sits down facing me and begins moving her lips. . . . I look at her

little forehead, moving lips, and sink into thought.

"She is getting on for twenty. . . ." I reflect. "If one takes a boy of the educated class andof that age and compares them, what a difference! The boy would have knowledge and

convictions and some intelligence."

23, Bilal



But I forgive that difference just as the low forehead and moving lips are forgiven. I

remember in my old Lovelace days I have cast off women for a stain on their stockings,

or for one foolish word, or for not cleaning their teeth, and now I forgive everything: themunching, the muddling about after the corkscrew, the slovenliness, the long talking

about nothing that matters; I forgive it all almost unconsciously, with no effort of will, as

though Sasha's mistakes were my mistakes, and many things which would have made mewince in old days move me to tenderness and even rapture. The explanation of this

forgiveness of everything lies in my love for Sasha, but what is the explanation of thelove itself, I really don't know.

NOTES

Lovelace: Richard Lovelace (1618-1658) was an English poet

ONE Fine Morning the Collegiate Assessor, Kirill

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Transcript of ONE Fine Morning the Collegiate Assessor, Kirill