Objective: I can revise my topic sentences so that they support

my thesis and control their respective paragraphs.

WRITE THIS IN YOUR CORNELL NOTES. START A NEW PAGE.

Read the following paragraph and identify the topic sentence. Underline the sentences that support the TS. Cross out the sentences that do not.

The first reason why you should eat ice cream is because it is beneficial to one’s health. Ice Cream is made of milk and milk is full of calcium. According to the Surgeon General, a healthy adult needs 2500 milligrams of calcium per day. Calcium is essential for preventing your bones from becoming brittle, but also for halting tooth decay. In addition, Ice Cream tastes fantastic. In a recent PHS poll, 8 out of 10 students claimed ice cream as their favorite dessert. Certainly, the palettes of these young people speaks volumes about ice creams scrumptious taste! Clearly, ice cream is a must for those with a sweet tooth who are concerned about their health.

It is important to have strong topic sentences because:

The thesis is the boss of the essay.The topic sentence (TS) is the boss of

the paragraph.

Good thesis=good essayGood TS=good paragraph

A good TS:

Puts forward an argument (doesn’t just state a fact)

Connects to the thesis by using some of the same words or ideas

Tells you what the rest of the paragraph will be about

Generally speaking, topic sentences are:

Short

Simple

Clear

Give a strong idea

One of the main reasons for …..One of the major factors in ………… is…………….Generally speaking, ………One of the strongest arguments against/ in favor of………is ….One of the main advantages / disadvantages of ………….is ……

Thesis: Even though image policies may create business for the companies that enforce them, such policies actually discriminate against people who don’t fit the “look” and make them feel insecure and undervalued.

Strong Topic Sentence: One reason why companies should stop enforcing image policies is because it discriminates against people who don’t fit the “look”.

Weak Topic Sentence: Companies should stop “look” policies because they make people feel bad.

What makes one topic sentence “strong” and the other “weak”?

Thesis: Even though image policies may create business for the companies that enforce them, such policies actually discriminate against people who don’t fit the “look” and make them feel insecure and undervalued.

Strong Topic Sentence:

One reason why companies should stop enforcing image policies is because it discriminates against people who don’t fit the “look”.

Did you notice that the strong topic sentence… Connected back to thesis and used words and ideas from

the thesis. Presented an argument not a fact. Gave a strong preview of the rest of the paragraph.

Steps to revising topic sentences:

1. Underline or highlight the topic sentence.

2. Ask yourself: does the topic sentence relate back to ideas found in the thesis?

3. Ask yourself: is the topic sentence an argument (not a fact)?

4. Underline the sentences that support the TS.

5. Cross out the sentences that do not support the TS.

6. Rewrite the TS.

On the following examples, read the thesis and the paragraphs. After reading, use the skill steps to write your own topic sentences.

Example 1:Students have become masters of texting secretly in class, hiding their phones under backpacks and jackets and ignoring the day’s lesson or activity. As “the high school dropout rate in America is increasing” according to the National Bureau of Economic research, students need fewer distractions in class, not more. Even parents think that it is acceptable for them to text their sons or daughters while they are supposed to be in class learning. All of those minutes that the student is using to answer the parent’s text about what they want for dinner or some other non-important question take away from precious class time.

Example 2:Even an “affordable” family plan from a major cell phone carrier is at least ten dollars per month, without considering the cost of the phone. That adds up to $120 per year, or $480 over the student’s four years of high school. If that money were invested in a savings account that paid 5% interest, it would add up to $586, which could help the student pay for college or a down payment on a car.

Example 3:Teens are so mesmerized by their phones that they often fail to be aware of their surroundings. At Pittsburg High School, students often narrowly escape being hit by passing cars because they are texting while walking along busy streets, or even while trying to cross the street. Sometimes the teens are so distracted by the phone that they do not even realize how close they were to serious injury or death. Another safety issue involving phones is that they can be magnets for violent thieves. According to Mr. Whitmire, the principal of PHS, “there have been multiple incidences this year of students being assaulted because someone wanted their phone.”

Now that you have some good topic sentences under your belt, go back to your own paper and:

1. Rewrite your first 3 topic sentences using the skill steps.

2. Take out any unrelated sentences in your paragraphs.