Nothing is Different Until You Think...
Transcript of Nothing is Different Until You Think...
J A M E S M A C D O N A L D
Walk in the Word is the Bible-teaching ministry of Dr. James MacDonald. James’ teaching emphasizes the precise exposition of God’s Word and its practical life application. James is the founding senior pastor at Harvest Bible Chapel. He and his wife Kathy have three grown children. Learn how to grow in faith and please God with your life through Walk in the Word’s daily broadcast available all the time at JamesMacDonald.org.
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Nothing is Different Until You Think Differently
Why does Bill lose his temper and yell at his wife? Why does she respond by having a second and third glass of wine every night to dull her pain? Why is their daughter so deeply involved in sinful and shameful behavior that never delivers what she is looking for?
The reason is the way they think.
Beyond behaviors and deeper than attitudes, thinking determines outcome more than anything else. If you repeatedly find yourself in places where you don’t want to go, it’s your thinking that’s leading you there. God offers your only hope for victory over disposition, dysfunction, double-mindedness, and every mental stronghold. With Him, you can think differently.
MORE CLEAR TEACHING FROM GOD’S WORD AT WALKINTHEWORD.ORG
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© 2016 by James MacDonald.
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without permission in writing from the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews.
Scripture quotations are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version, copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a division of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
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ADDITIONAL NOTES
WHY IS IT SO HARD TO THINK DIFFERENTLY? .................................. 6
DESTROYING THE STRONGHOLDS IN YOUR DISPOSITION ................. 16
DESTROYING THE STRONGHOLDS OF FAMILY DYSFUNCTION PT. 1 ...... 26
DESTROYING THE STRONGHOLDS OF FAMILY DYSFUNCTION PT. 2 ...... 38
ENDING DOUBLE-MINDEDNESS ................................................. 48
STRONGHOLDS OF MY OWN MAKING .......................................... 58
WHEN STRONGHOLDS START TO CRUMBLE ................................... 68
REPENTANCE BREAKS STRONGHOLDS ......................................... 78
WHEN YOU FAIL TO THINK DIFFERENTLY—DO THIS. ......................... 90
HOW TO RENEW YOUR MIND PT. 1 ........................................... 100
HOW TO RENEW YOUR MIND PT. 2 ........................................... 110
................................................................. 120
C O N T E N T S
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C H A P T E R 1
Why Is It So
Hard To Think
Differently?
I am excited about what you’re about to read—not just
because of how the Lord has already used these prin-
ciples and insights in my own life, but because of how
I believe He’s going to use them in yours.
Proverbs 23:7 says, “As a man thinks in his heart, so is
he.” The principle this verse declares is that thinking
determines outcome. As a result, I’ve been wrestling
with this thought . . .
What is the thing that has to change at a deeper level if behavior is going to change?
Maybe you’ve wondered the same thing. Maybe that’s
why you’re reading this book. Whether you’re reading this
out of a thirst for change, a forced assignment, or simply
for encouragement, I believe what follows will open a
deeper relationship with the Lord, greater victory, more
consistent joy, and the experience of God showing you
from His Word that real change means thinking differently.
So let’s go over some examples . . .
• Linda is hypercritical.
• Lance is lazy and lethargic. He changes jobs like most
people change their socks.
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• Lisa is an overeater.
• Lyle is an overachiever.
• Larry is complaining every minute his eyes are open.
• Lou is losing to sexual temptation.
• Lauren is leaving her loved ones in the lurch again.
Now, putting aside the fact that all of those names start
with an L, focus with me on “why.” Why do Linda, Lance,
and the rest behave the way they do? Are they right? Of
course not, but telling them “this is wrong; this is right”
isn’t going to fix the problem.
No one is ever going to really change without heart
change, as we see in Proverbs:
“As a man thinks in his heart, so is he” (Proverbs 23:7).
Thinking determines outcome.
At this point you might be wondering, “Well, if thinking
is the lasting change, why aren’t more people changing?”
Here’s why—because it is terrifically difficult to change
the way you think. Seriously, it is!
In 2 Corinthians 10, the Apostle Paul gives us four im-
portant reasons why this is the case. The first is . . .
â
1. OUR BATTLES ARE NOT PRIMARILY PHYSICAL.
2 Corinthians 10:3 says, “For though we walk in the
flesh . . .” The word flesh (sarx in the Greek) sometimes
means your old, sinful nature. But in this instance, flesh
just means your body or physical reality.
Do you understand that you are not only physical? In
fact, the most important part of you is not the physical;
the most important part of you is the mind, emotions,
and will, which make up your soul.
It’s vital for you to understand that there is a part of
you that will live somewhere forever—either with God
or separated from Him, based on what you do with His
Son, Jesus Christ. And that part is your soul. But that’s
also where your mind is.
And your mind—not your brain—is what Paul is working on
here. So when Paul says, “For though we walk in the flesh,”
what he means is, “We live our lives in a physical reality.”
But even though everything around us seems physical,
Paul is warning us not to be confused. We are not pri-
marily fighting a physical battle.
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“For though we walk in the flesh, we are not waging war
according to the flesh” (2 Corinthians 10:3).
The real battles we fight are not physical battles; they’re
mental, thinking wars against forces not in the flesh. So
what are our weapons for a fight like this? That ques-
tion leads us to the second reason thinking differently
is hard . . .
2. OUR WEAPONS ARE NOT READILY ACCESSIBLE.
2 Corinthians 10:4 says, “For the weapons of our warfare
(warfare means our strategy for the campaign) are not
of the flesh . . .”
When our first thought in battle is to reach for weapons of our flesh, the war is already lost.
About six or seven years ago, I was going through a
tough few months, even struggling to preach. So I went
and talked to a Christian friend who counsels people.
What I’m about to tell you changed my life. I said to
him, “Well, I did this and this happened! But then I did
this and THIS happened. NOW look where I am. What
is going to CHANGE this? How can this be DIFFERENT?
I never INTENDED for this to happen!”
I laid it out for him, ugly and all. And he said, “Well,
James, this is where your best thinking has gotten you.”
Wow! That is an awesome insight. You see, most people
aren’t working on trying to get worse; they’re working
on trying to get better. But if that’s not happening in
your life like you know it could be, embrace this reality:
You are where—
I’m not in a hurry to say it because I don’t want it to land
too heavily on your heart. I don’t want to hurt you. But
sometimes love is gently saying what’s true.
You are where your best thinking has gotten you.
So how can we change our thinking? That’s what we’re
going to discover in the following pages.
Because here’s the truth: Walled off in our minds, you
and I have ways of thinking that are keeping us from the
life God wants us to live. They are fortresses; strong-
holds. Which leads us to the third reason changing our
thinking is hard.
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3. STRONGHOLDS ARE NOT EASILY DESTROYABLE.
“For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but
have divine power to destroy strongholds”
(2 Corinthians 10:4).
The word picture here is of a wrecking ball swinging
into a tower. Some translations even say demolish. Why
such a violent image? Because strongholds aren’t easy
to destroy.
If they were, trust me, everyone would be doing it. Most
people, Christian or not, sail the ship of life as far it can
go until their strongholds cripple the ship. And there
they stay for the rest of their lives.
And while there are a few people in their teens, twenties,
or thirties who may change their thinking a little, most
have their mindset so deeply entrenched by the time
they get into their second decade of adulthood that they
don’t go anywhere after that.
They might change jobs, churches, or even marriages.
But they don’t change their thinking. And they’re shocked
to find when they come around the corner—the exact
same stuff is happening in the new scenery.
Why? Because a lot more is affected by our thinking
than we’re ever willing to acknowledge. Here’s what
I’m trying to tell you:
When we oppose God’s work—even in our thinking—we
are opposing God Himself.
Notice in 2 Corinthians 10:5 Paul says, “. . . and take every
thought captive to obey Christ . . .” That’s the language
of “we took prisoners.” Every thought that doesn’t go
with the knowledge of God must be taken prisoner and
taken off the battlefield of our minds. That is something
ONLY YOU can do.
This is why Paul goes on to say, “being ready to punish
every disobedience, when your obedience is complete”
(10:6). Do you see it there? You have to do your part
before anyone else can do their part. Nobody can change
your thinking for you. Which leads us to the fourth and
final reason changing the way we think is so difficult . . .
4. I HAVE TO MAKE IT PERSONAL.The mind is powerful. I don’t think we even begin to
understand its impact.
For example, it won’t surprise you that I can eat really
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fast. And because I have a tendency to eat fast often, I
get hiccups a lot. And because I get hiccups a lot, I’ve
learned about a lot of different remedies through the
years to try and cure them . . .
• Get someone to scare you
(but that doesn’t work very well)
• Hold your breath
• Drink something upside down
I’ve tried them all. One time I had hiccups so bad that
the chair was rocking and it wasn’t even a rocking chair!
One time my wife Kathy, whom I love so dearly, came to
me while I was hiccupping and said in a way that only
she could, “You’re calm. Let it go. You don’t have the
hiccups anymore.” And guess what—I didn’t!
Those who study the mind would tell you that the reason
this worked is that my mind believed something that
thereby affected my behavior. But the fact is, there are
many remedies out there in the world today for a multitude
of different things, and some swear by the effectiveness
of each one. Why? Because they work for them. They’re
convinced in their minds that the remedy works.
Listen friend, we have a remedy—a truth for changing
our thinking—that is far more powerful than any cure
for hiccups. We have the holy, all-powerful, unchanging
truth of the Word of God!
In what ways have you noticed your think-
ing affect your decisions and everyday life? Does some
of it need to change? List some areas that come to mind.
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Have you made this personal? Thinking
differently will only happen if you—and only you—make
the necessary steps to change.
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QUESTION 1 :
QUESTION 2:
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Destroying The Strongholds
In Your Disposition
Over the next few chapters we’re going to talk about the
different types of strongholds—ways of thinking resistant
to change. First we’ll consider strongholds in our dispo-
sition. Let’s look at Genesis 25:19–22.
“These are the generations of Isaac, Abraham’s son: Abra-
ham fathered Isaac, and Isaac was forty years old when
he took Rebekah, the daughter of Bethuel the Aramean of
Paddan-aram, the sister of Laban the Aramean, to be his
wife. And Isaac prayed to the Lord for his wife, because she
was barren. (Then look at this.) And the Lord granted his
prayer, and Rebekah his wife conceived. The children . . .”
Children? So already we can see that she’s not going to
have just one son or daughter; she’s going to have twins
at the least. We don’t know how many yet, but there are
several—two at least. “The children struggled together
within her . . .” (25:22).
Notice the word struggled. The Hebrew word here is r ·sus.
Normally it’s used to mean crushing, or oppressing. This
implies that the children were warring inside her which,
needless to say, is not typical baby movement. And here’s
what I want you to get from this . . .
Everyone is born with a disposition.
C H A P T E R 2
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Your disposition is something God gives you. He intends
your disposition for good, but because of our sinfulness,
our disposition gets bent. God’s Word portrays over and
over that life begins at conception, and babies in their
mothers’ wombs not only already have dispositions, but
also plans marked out for them by Almighty God. They
already have God’s favor and purpose upon their life. So
let’s look at a definition to find out what a disposition
really is.
Disposition is your natural mental outlook;
your predominant tendency or leaning;
your prevailing point of view.
Disposition affects every relationship and every decision.
It’s the filter installed on your thinking through which you
process reality. It’s the reason four people on a street
corner can all watch the same accident and have different
opinions about it.
And because of this, every stronghold and argument you
have is affected by your disposition. What you call best
and right is actually your filter, and it can become your
stronghold. So if we’re going to think differently, we have
to examine our dispositions.
Now, I want to prove through Genesis 25 that these two
baby boys Rebekah gave birth to both were born with
something special.
In verses 24–26, Rebekah goes to the Lord after He tells
her about the two nations within her: “When her days
to give birth were completed, behold, there were twins in
her womb. The first came out red, all his body like a hairy
cloak, so they called his name Esau. Afterward his brother
came out with his hand holding Esau’s heel . . .”
Why? Because he wanted to be born first. The name Jacob
means heel catcher or heel grabber. It’s the idea of wanting
to find a way, even if it involves deception. Jacob can also
mean to get ahead of the other.
Don’t you see how their dispositions are already right
there? God’s Word is not saying, “Oh! How interesting!
How random! He was holding on to his heel. Isn’t that
funny?” No. That’s not what the Bible is saying at all. It’s
revealing that what they will become is present in the
womb and in their delivery. It’s already there.
Now just take a moment and ask yourself, “Are there certain
dispositions in me?” Can you see that you were born with a
way of thinking that you have battled your whole life? Can
you see how easily you slip into the thought, “This isn’t A way;
this is THE way.” “This isn’t a GOOD way; this is the RIGHT way.”
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How you process what happens in your home, kids, mar-
riage, finances, work, church—it all goes through the filter
in your mind. That’s where the strongholds, arguments, and
lofty opinions begin to take up residence: in our dispositions.
In Genesis 25:27 we learn more about Jacob and Esau.
Notice that Scripture says, “When the boys grew up, Esau
was a skillful hunter, a man of the field, while Jacob was
a quiet man, dwelling in tents.”
Could they be any more different? Esau’s disposition led
him to always be outdoors. Jacob’s led him to want to
stay inside. Both of those things are okay and what the
Lord wanted, but the devil always tries to distort what
God intends for good.
Genesis 25:29–32 explains, “Once when Jacob was cooking
stew, Esau came in from the field, and he was exhausted.
And Esau said to Jacob, ‘Let me eat some of that red stew,
for I am exhausted!’ (Therefore his name was called Edom.)
Jacob said, “Sell me your birthright now.” (Whoa! That
guy was shrewd.) Esau said, ‘I am about to die; of what
use is a birthright to me?’”
The Book of Hebrews tells us that Esau was a profane and
godless person. Regarding the birthright, he should have
responded, “Are you crazy? Give my entire inheritance—a
double portion—as the firstborn, to you? Never!”
But Jacob resented the fact that his brother got a double
portion. Esau was born only a few seconds earlier and
Jacob couldn’t let it go. So he took matters into his own
hands and jumped at the chance to trade some stew to
get the birthright and blessing that his profane brother
didn’t respect. These two brothers’ many strongholds
influenced what they were passionate about. Notice
Esau’s low impulse control. “I just want the meal. I don’t
care. I’ll deal with tomorrow, tomorrow.”
We then read verse 33, “Jacob said, ‘Swear to me now.’ So
he swore to him and sold his birthright to Jacob. Then Jacob
gave Esau bread and lentil stew, and he ate and drank and
rose and went his way. Thus Esau despised his birthright.”
The goal of thinking differently is to take every thought
captive to the obedience of Christ, and destroy strong-
holds, so I want to talk to you about dispositions and help
you locate yours.
There are four main temperaments:
1. SANGUINE – This person has a tendency to be late
and is a people pleaser, but is also expressive and fun.
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2. CHOLERIC – “I need it NOW. People, come HELP me.”
That’s the choleric. They want to win and can make
great leaders, but also have a tendency to be demanding.
3. PHLEGMATIC – They can be hard to get engaged but
once they do, they’re some of the most faithful, diligent
people around.
4. MELANCHOLY – The melancholy is analytical and
feels a lot, but can also tend toward negativity.
Each person has a primary and a secondary disposition.
For example, I’m sanguine/choleric. I end up being more
choleric at church because of my responsibilities, and
that’s one of the big tensions in my life, because by dis-
position I’m sanguine.
But listen:
You cannot change your disposition.
Nor does God want you to change it.
You are perfectly suited for what God wants you to do.
Take a moment and let this truth settle in your heart.
Instead of entrenching our arguments and lofty opinions
against those with different dispositions, our goal every
day has to be taking our thoughts captive to the obedience
of Christ. That’s the key to discovering and destroying the
strongholds of disposition.
Which dispositions are you? What’s your
primary and secondary? Ask others to help you figure
this out.
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QUESTION 1 :
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Have you noticed a bent in your thinking
since you were a child? Has that bent been positive or
negative? What stories can you remember that reveal
your dispositions?
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We’re now going to consider generational sin. Deuter-
onomy 24:16 shows us how God is expanding our under-
standing of the law when He says, “Fathers shall not be
put to death because of their children, nor shall children
be put to death because of their fathers. Each one shall be
put to death for his own sin.”
He is teaching us that no matter what your kids do, God
will not punish you for your kids’ actions. So man, no mat-
ter what your dad did, God is not going to punish you for
it. Woman, no matter what your children do or become,
God will not punish you for it. Furthermore, God will not
punish you for what your parents did to you, either.
Isn’t that good news? Now, back to Deuteronomy 5:
6–9, where God is laying out the law. He has called all
the people of Israel together, and He speaks to them
through Moses:
“I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of
Egypt, out of the house of slavery. You shall have no other
gods before me. You shall not make for yourself a carved
image . . . You shall not bow down to them or serve them;
for I the Lord your God am a jealous God . . .”
First of all, understand that God’s jealousy is not sinful.
He doesn’t want something that doesn’t belong to Him;
Destroying The Strongholds
Of Family Dysfunction Pt. 1
3
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He wants what’s His—our hearts. So when He says, “I am
jealous,” it’s a very holy thing.
“. . . for I the Lord your God am a jealous God, visiting the
iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and fourth
generation of those who hate me” (Deuteronomy 5:9).
So now you may be wondering, “Well, which IS it, James?
Is the son punished for the father or isn’t he? We have two
verses—one that’s saying, ‘He visits the iniquity of the
fathers upon the sons to the third and fourth generation . . .’
And then a second one in the same book of the Bible that
says, ‘He doesn’t punish us for our father’s sin . . .’”
“So which is it?”
It’s both! You see, there are no consequences (that’s key)
for generational sin, but there are inclinations. Because of
how your father or mother or grandfather or grandmother
struggled—because of sin in your family’s past—you have
inclinations. You have temptations, susceptibilities, and
vulnerabilities which you have to recognize.
If you and I are going to think differently, we have to
do some reflecting on questions like, “What did my dad
struggle with?” “What did my mom struggle with?”, “What
about my grandparents?” “How were their lives shaped?”
Even though your ancestors may not have known the
Lord, their struggles will affect your life.
But now the good news! 1 John 4:4 says, “. . . for he who is
in you is greater than he who is in the world.” God’s power
is more than enough for this. But if we’re going to think
differently, then we have to become aware.
“You know, my mom really battled depression. And in my
life I’ve found . . .” Exactly! You just noticed a pattern of
thinking in your mom that you have discovered in yourself.
If you’re ready for some more good news, read this. Be-
cause in Deuteronomy 5:9–10, you’ll see God’s grace
“. . . visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to
the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, but
showing steadfast love to thousands of those who love me
and keep my commandments.” Isn’t that good news!?
So, maybe you’re in a place where you want to follow and
honor God, and break off the chains of generational sin
in your family. You’re saying, “I want to do everything I can
to make sure that I get victory over generational sin, so my
kids don’t struggle with the things I struggled with, and so,
when I’m off of this earth, my grandkids won’t be battling
the same things themselves.”
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What are those strongholds? Well, they’re a type of
generational sin I like to call crutches:
1. SUBSTANCE ABUSE This means turning to medication to numb one’s ability to
feel pain. But because substance abuse blocks pain, it blocks
the very God-given thing that gets us to a better place.
2. MATERIALISM If you grew up with “My stuff! My stuff! My stuff!”, mate-
rialism could be a stronghold in your life. As I often say,
it’s not wrong to have things, but if those things have you,
that’s a stronghold.
3. GLUTTONY Maybe you grew up in a home where everything revolved
around eating, or food was used to provide comfort. So you
ate, ate, and ate. You see, even food can be a stronghold.
4. LUST That’s a clear category.
5. SELFISHNESS This is a mindset that says, “We just do what’s best for
us.” That’s a stronghold. And no one’s life is better for it.
So, are you in favor of thinking differently? I hope your
answer is yes. Always remember, God has not given you
a spirit of fear. “For God gave us a spirit not of fear but
of power and love and self-control” (2 Timothy 1:7). He
wants you living free, but to be able to do that, strongholds
have to be broken.
Yet, it can be hard because we all want to do what comes
naturally when it comes to taking them down. But here’s
the truth . . .
There is no one-size-fits-all approach to tearing down
strongholds. Doing what feels right isn’t always right.
A few years ago I preached a sermon called Always Re-
solve Everything Now. I wouldn’t preach that series again.
Not because I don’t believe that anymore, but because I
now see those sermons as a reflection of my disposition.
Yes, we should resolve everything as quickly as we can.
But some things can’t be resolved, and resolution isn’t
always best.
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You see, the highest law is love and I would now say Al-
ways Resolve Everything Now As Much As You Can Without
Violating the Law of Love. But because that’s too long of a
title, I’ll have to work something else out. But do you get it?
What I’m trying to make clear is that there is no “one size
fits all.” You and I can walk with God today. We can trust
God for the wisdom to think differently and do what the
situation warrants that represents His heart to love and
to advance His purposes for reconciliation.
Now, you might be saying to yourself,“Well, my problem
isn’t the generational stuff. I just don’t see that at all. And my
problem isn’t conflict resolution. My problem is that my family
just didn’t ever really WORK well. My home? I mean . . . we
didn’t ever get the bills paid. It seemed like there were job
changes all the time. We kept moving, moving, and moving.
Our family just could never seem to get traction out of the
mud of life. We never even got OUT on the main road. It was
just one problem after another.”
Friend, that’s a stronghold. That is a stronghold of bad
decision-making.
So if you’ve discovered some generational strongholds
that need to be broken, I want to pray for you.
Father, thank You for this precious child. Thank You, God,
for their humility and teachability. And now they’re coming
before You with open hearts, saying,
“O God, please destroy these strongholds in my life!
I fall into them. I slip and stumble toward them.
They’re just where I seem to end up, God. But I believe
You have something better for me, something higher
for me, my family, and the generations to come.
I ask that You would break these strongholds; that
You would tear down these ways of thinking; that
You would make me alert to when I’m headed in
the wrong direction. Help me stop and remember,
‘That’s not who I am. That’s not what is true. That is
not what I believe is right. I’m not going there again.
I want something different. And with You helping
me, God, I’m choosing to have it.’”
Help us to take every thought captive.
Help us to destroy the lofty opinions that make us think we
deserve our strongholds.
Help us to destroy the arguments and reasons we have for
justifying what we do.
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Thank You that we have a Savior who is alive, risen from the
dead, and moving in our midst by His Spirit. Thank You that
He is greater than he who is in the world. Thank You that
we can know Your victory, power, and strength because You
are alive, and because You live to make intercession for us.
We pray this in the precious name of Jesus. Amen.
Have you discovered any crutches in your
life? List them, remembering God wants to set you free!
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QUESTION 1 :
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Have you thought about what your par-
ents and grandparents struggled with? If possible, it
might be good to have a talk with them and discover
the inclinations you may have today as a result of what
they dealt with growing up.
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QUESTION 2:
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Destroying The Strongholds Of Family Dysfunction Pt. 2
C H A P T E R 4 I pray that the Lord has been speaking to you and that
with every page you’re reading, another stronghold is
being torn down by the power of Jesus Christ.
Deuteronomy 24 taught us that God doesn’t punish any-
one for their parents’ or grandparents’ sins. But He also
says in Deuteronomy 5:9, “. . . for I the Lord your God am
a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the
children to the third and fourth generation of those who
hate me, but showing steadfast love to thousands of those
who love me and keep my commandments.”
Here’s the good news I want you know from that verse . . .
These generational chains can break.Patterns of thinking can change.
I don’t know what was going on in your home growing up.
Maybe there were some raised voices or deadly silences.
Maybe things got broken, or there was inappropriate
physical contact.
I’d like to look at five other areas of generational sin that
can contribute to generational strongholds.
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1. “I HAVE, THEREFORE I AM.”In some families, the parents purchase, polish, and parade
what they have so much that their kids grow up thinking
that happiness is stuff.
2. “I COUNT PENNIES, THEREFORE I’M SAFE.”
It isn’t always the person who’s spending a lot that has
the stronghold. Sometimes it’s just the opposite. I knew a
guy a few years ago who, every year, said, “This year my
wife and I are living on ten percent less than last year.”
Really? Well, that’s awesome if you need to do that.
I don’t know if he actually did or didn’t, but by the time he
had done it six, seven, or eight years in a row, I wanted to
say, “Can we talk to your wife to see how this is going?”
And then there are people with similar mindsets who say,
“We don’t spend ANYTHING. I bought this coat in 1981
and it’s as good as the day I bought it!”
No, it isn’t, and that’s a bit freaky! You see, the “haves”
can be smug and polished, parading their stuff. But the
“have-nots” can still be consumed with the money-mat-
ters-most strongholds.
3. “I COVET, THEREFORE I RESENT.”Exodus 20:17 says, “Thou shalt not covet,” yet we do. And
we see what people have, and we think we have to have
it. That’s a stronghold and can have a terrible impact on
the way we interact with people.
4. “I’M CONTENT, THEREFORE I’M SUPERIOR.”
Again the opposite, “We don’t need anything.” I think I’ve
said plenty about that twisted self-sufficiency.
5. “I COMPARE, THEREFORE I BORROW.”
Some people compare and then they think, “We have to
catch up.” So they spend money they don’t have in order
to get what they don’t need.
To pull all of this together, I’m going back to the strong-
holds in our disposition to look at how they relate to
generational sin.
Remember cholerics? They tend to practice discordant
thinking. They see conflict as a barrier to getting things
done. If you’re a choleric, you may have a lot of conflict in
your life, and you might not even know it’s there. Choler-
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ics are oppositional, defiant, and don’t have any problem
standing up to anybody about anything.
The sanguine is very different from the choleric, though
they are both extroverts. Sanguines are impulsive thinkers
who can be fun, playful, and enjoyable, but their moods
turn fast. So they are a little more intermittently explosive
and have weaker self-control.
The phlegmatic is neither discordant nor impulsive, but
anxious. While we all have to get victory over worry, the
phlegmatic person is battling anxiety to a higher degree.
Lastly, melancholy individuals have depressive thinking.
They have highs and lows, and can even battle dysthymia,
which is intermittent or major depression.
Now, I want you to keep in mind your primary and sec-
ondary dispositions. I’m sanguine/choleric. My wife is
choleric/phlegmatic. The phlegmatic never wants to
admit they’re anything—so if you don’t know what you
are, you’re probably phlegmatic. But in the center of it all
goes the word sin. All problems in your life, your family,
and the world are the result of sin.
So let’s talk about how sin manifests itself in each dis-
position. Keep in mind 2 Corinthians 10:4–5: “For the
weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine
power to destroy strongholds. We destroy arguments and
every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God,
and take every thought captive to obey Christ.”
At the center are strongholds, arguments, and lofty opin-
ions, so let’s locate those things quickly in each of the
temperaments.
The choleric’s stronghold is anger. He’s willful and quick
to argue, “I won’t.” If you’re a choleric, you feel adrena-
line when anger goes out which makes you think you’re
fixing something, when in reality, you’re probably making
it worse.
Now, this is where it gets important. 2 Corinthians 10:5
declares, “We destroy arguments and every lofty opin-
ion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every
thought captive to obey Christ.”
What fortifies a stronghold is bad theology—a wrong
belief about God. The choleric justifies the stronghold
of anger with the argument, “I won’t”—and they’re lofty
opinion is, “God is not just. I have to take care of this.”
But if you struggle with those thoughts, you are wrong.
God loves you, and you can wait on Him. He’s not going
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to let you down. So the thinking for the choleric has to
be changed to humility. And that doesn’t mean simply
acting humble. The truly humble person is not thinking
about themselves at all; they’re thinking about others.
The sanguine’s stronghold is foolishness. While the choleric
says, “I won’t,” the sanguine says, “I want.” A sanguine’s
bad theology is that God is not sufficient and not enough.
“I need more, God, and I can’t be happy until . . .” What the
sanguine desperately needs is the wisdom of God’s Word.
The phlegmatic’s stronghold is not the choleric’s anger or
the sanguine’s foolishness, but fear. Instead of “I won’t”
or “I want,” the phlegmatic is saying, “I can’t.” That’s the
internal self-talk for them.
The phlegmatic’s bad theology is that God is not sover-
eign or in control. Just as the choleric needs humility and
the sanguine needs wisdom, the phlegmatic needs trust.
Lastly, the melancholy’s thought process is, “I doubt.”
As a result, despair is the stronghold and God is not good
is the bad theology characterizing this personality type.
But here’s the truth. The Bible says again and again that
the Lord is good, and that His steadfast love endures
forever. If you allow yourself to believe the lie that God is
not good, that can become a stronghold so quickly, and
what you desperately need is hope.
Will you think about how these brief sketches apply to
your life? May God guide us as we continue on this journey
to think differently.
Do you know the wrong theologies and
arguments you have against God? If not, take some
time to pray about them. God will show you the areas
of thinking that need to change.
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QUESTION 1 :
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Have you struggled with strongholds of
selfishishness or deception? Do any specific memories
come to mind relating to these strongholds creating
significant problems?
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QUESTION 2:
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C H A P T E R 5
Ending
Double-
Mindedness
In this chapter, we’re going to start discussing how to
really change the way we think. It starts with getting rid
of double-mindedness. James 1:8 says, “A double-minded
man is unstable in all his ways.”
Double-mindedness always wants two things that
can’t coexist.
• I want a good marriage AND I want to be selfish.
• I want my private addiction AND I want a growing
relationship with God.
• I want my impulsive purchase at the mall AND I want
to steward my finances.
• I want my anger AND I want deep relationships.
• I want my fear AND I want peace.
You see, all of those statements are examples of dou-
ble-mindedness. So let’s focus on a couple of applications
from James 1:8.
Notice first of all that there are double-minded people
and they are everywhere. We’re not off-topic here. There
is double-mindedness in all of us. We want two things
that can’t coexist—so we have to start thinking differently
about them.
Notice also that double-mindedness creates instability
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and, most significantly, it affects EVERYTHING. Maybe
you’re thinking, “Well, I might make a bad financial decision,
but I would NEVER do anything to hurt my family.” But truth-
fully, you actually are, and we can all fall into that trap.
I don’t know where you are today reading this. I don’t
know your story and the hardships you may have suf-
fered in your past. But I am appealing to you because I
care about you.
If you would, pray right now, “God, show me an area of
double-mindedness in my life, and help me eliminate it.”
I KNOW that if you’ll do that, you’ll be happier for it and
God will bless you.
Just remember, you have to want to think differently. I
can’t do that for you. If I could make you want to think
differently, I’d do it in a heartbeat! But in the end, you’re
the one choosing how to think about everything going
on in your life.
Someone once said (and I keep repeating this) life is ten
percent what happens to you and ninety percent how you
choose to deal with it or think about it. So truly, nothing
is different without thinking differently. You have to want
it and hope for it.
Understand, when you’ve lost hope, you’ve lost everything.
There is nothing after “no hope.”
Here’s a definition of the word hope . . .
The confident expectation of something better tomorrow.
That’s why we’re Christians—because Christians know that,
no matter how many peaks and valleys we go through in our
lives, we’re headed toward a massive, forever celebration.
The world sees only a hopeless end, but we have an
endless hope. Not just hope regarding eternity, but also
about God meeting needs, answering prayer, carrying
burdens, relieving you and me of sin, changing our lives,
and daily increasing our joy on the journey to that eternity.
But here’s the harsh reality—Christians can lose hope.
That’s why thinking differently is crucial. Because when
you stop hoping for something better and different, it is
definitely not coming.
So why do people stop hoping? Here are three reasons
why it can happen:
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1. WE STOP HOPING BECAUSE IT IS A HASSLE TO HOPE.
You get up in the morning. You get into God’s Word. You
spend some time in prayer. You get your focus for the day.
You walk into your school, work, or whatever you do, and
you’re super positive. You’re fired up and trusting God
because you have your focus. Then someone shows up
and says, “What’s wrong with you?”
You have some hope, and then they just suck the hope
right out of you. Have you ever experienced that? Just
when you get yourself in a place of faith and trusting God,
somebody comes along and goes right after it. You see,
it can be a hassle to hope.
2. WE STOP HOPING BECAUSE IT IS HARD.
Hope isn’t the default position. Would you agree with
that? You have to work on hope, and it can be hard. No-
body has to work at being negative, and hopelessness
can just show up, right? So you have to work at hope. You
have to discipline your mind and if you’re not careful, for
example in regards to people, you can lose hope in them
and get critical. The Bible says in Proverbs 13:12, “Hope
deferred makes the heart sick.”
What I’m trying to show you is that when you give up
hope, you give up so much. Hope is protecting God’s
best future for you.
3. WE STOP HOPING BECAUSE IT HURTS TO HOPE.
This is the biggest reason. When I hope, I make myself
vulnerable to being disappointed. When I hope, I expose
my heart to people letting me down. Inevitably that hap-
pens, and it hurts.
Some of you are hoping or were hoping for God to do
something in one of your kids, for example, but you hav-
en’t seen it. Now you’re not praying anymore, and you’ve
hardened your heart.
Why did you give up? Because it can hurt to hope, wait,
and pray. But can you see that it hurts even more not to?
Can you see the bad that results when you don’t even
care anymore, or when you’re not asking or seeking or
knocking or praying? Do you see that’s worse?
So let’s bring it full circle. To think differently, you have
to want to, or rather, hope to. But you also have to take
action that reinforces that desire. You can say forever
that you want to think differently. But to actually change
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the way you think takes action.
Are you willing to take some action physically in order to display the
change in yourself spiritually?
Some of the hardest, most courageous decisions are the
ones involving taking the action necessary to get to a
place where you can think differently. Jesus Himself said,
“Why do you call me ‘Lord, Lord,’ and not do what I tell
you?” (Luke 6:46). You not only need to want and hope
to think differently, but you also need to do something
in order to make it happen.
Let’s start with first things first.
Have you made the decision to follow Jesus Christ?
Do you believe that Jesus Christ is God’s Son?
Do you believe that He died to pay the penalty for
your sin?
If you do believe that, you have to take action about it.
But perhaps you’ve been hanging around the edge. You’ve
been on-and-off, in-and-out—not really a devoted follower
of Jesus. The best thing you could do right now, wherever
you may be reading this, is to end that double-mindedness
and give your life to Jesus.
If that’s you, you don’t have to wait another second. Just
go to Him right now and tell Him, “God, I’m here to make
myself right with You. I’m going to follow You.”
Romans 10:9 says, “If you confess with your mouth that
Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him
from the dead, you will be saved.”
There’s no reason to put this off. Your double-mindedness
has been making you unstable in everything, but today
you can take that first step towards thinking differently.
You can revive your hope, refresh your spirit, and become
a new creation in Christ.
Trust Him as Savior and confess Him publically as Lord
just as He commanded.
And if you have already done that, then I want to encour-
age you to prayerfully seek God about areas in your life
where you’ve been double-minded. He’s there, waiting
for you, longing to help you think differently and show
you the areas of your life where He wants to do a work.
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What are two things you want right now
that can’t coexist? Trust me, nothing good comes from
double-mindedness!
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QUESTION 1 : Have you believed and confessed Jesus
Christ as Lord? It’s the most important decision of your
life and the catalyst to thinking differently.
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QUESTION 2:
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Strongholds of My Own
Making
C H A P T E R 6
We’ve explored some pretty broad categories. There
are the strongholds in our disposition, having to do with
the way we’re bent. Then there are strongholds from the
home we grew up in—generational sin.
Wouldn’t it be easy if we could blame our strongholds in
our disposition on God or our parents? But we’ve been
building to this truth, and I hope you’re ready to hear it:
Strongholds get built through our own behavior.
That’s reality. Regardless of your bent or where you were
born, it all comes down to this: “I am building or destroying
the strongholds in my life.”
The reason I belabor that is because there is immense
cultural emphasis on, Well, that’s just the way I am. You
have to know the home I grew up in.
And yet, the weight biblically is not on those things. Yes,
they’re real and they do affect us, but the driving force
behind the strongholds that trip us up and take us down
is our own behavior. You’re about to see that illustrated
in the life of Jacob.
He was born with a bent, and he certainly grew up in a
very dysfunctional family. But if life is ten percent what
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happens to you and ninety percent how you choose to
deal with it, Jacob used up most of his ninety percent! And
now, God is about to confront the strongholds in Jacob’s
life with the biblical principle of sowing and reaping.
Galatians 6:7 says, “For whatever one sows, that will he also
reap.” Throughout history, generations and civilizations
have observed this unalterable principle that God installed
into human behavior: Strongholds reveal themselves in
our lives as we begin to reap what we have sown.
Genesis 28:1 says, “Then Isaac called Jacob and blessed
him and directed him, ‘You must not take a wife from the
Canaanite women. Arise, go to Paddan-aram to the house
of Bethuel your mother’s father, and take as your wife from
there one of the daughters of Laban your mother’s brother.’”
In Genesis 29 Jacob leaves home to get a wife, and in
verse 4, he arrives at his destination and sees some men
by a well. He greets them, “‘My brothers, where do you
come from?’ They said, ‘We are from Haran.’ He said to
them, ‘Do you know Laban the son of Nahor?’ They said,
‘We know him.’ He said to them, ‘Is it well with him?’ They
said, ‘It is well; and see, Rachel his daughter is coming
with the sheep!’ . . . Now as soon as Jacob saw Rachel the
daughter of Laban his mother’s brother, and the sheep of
Laban his mother’s brother, Jacob came near and rolled
the stone (That was covering up the well) . . . Then Jacob
kissed Rachel and wept aloud” (29:4–6, 10–11).
Now, realize this isn’t a “Wow! I think I’m going to marry
you” kiss. This is a “Wow! I can’t believe I found my family”
kiss. So much so, that here comes her father in verses
13–14. “As soon as Laban heard the news about Jacob, his
sister’s son, he ran to meet him and embraced him and
kissed him and brought him to his house. Jacob told Laban
all these things, and Laban said to him, ‘Surely you are
my bone and my flesh!’ And he stayed with him a month.”
So now Jacob has been there for thirty days making eyes at
Laban’s youngest daughter, Rachel. And Laban’s not stupid,
so he says to Jacob in verses 15–17, “‘Because you are my
kinsman, should you therefore serve me for nothing? Tell me,
what shall your wages be?’ (Which was a pretty clever way
of saying, “You need to start working.”) Now Laban had two
daughters. The name of the older was Leah, and the name of
the younger was Rachel. Leah’s eyes were weak . . .”
It’s important to note here that when the Bible wants to
say something, it frequently will say it carefully. I don’t
even know if they had glasses back then, but they’re
saying a lot more about Leah here than the fact that she
didn’t have the best eyesight.
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In verses 17–20 we read, “Leah’s eyes were weak, but
Rachel was beautiful in form and appearance. Jacob loved
Rachel. And he said, ‘I will serve you seven years for your
younger daughter Rachel.’ Laban said, ‘It is better that I
give her to you than that I should give her to any other man;
stay with me.’ So Jacob served seven years for Rachel, and
they seemed to him but a few days because of the love he
had for her.”
This is interesting because Jacob has never really worked
or waited for anything up until this point. Remember, this
is the same Jacob who tricked his dad, Isaac, into think-
ing he was Esau so that he could receive the firstborn’s
blessing. But finally later in life, he finds this woman to
work for. And he is not cutting corners. He is not cheating,
lying, or deceiving but is doing it all the right way.
Now, watch what happens after the seven years. “Then
Jacob said to Laban, ‘Give me my wife that I may go in to
her, for my time is completed.’ So Laban gathered together
all the people of the place and made a feast. But in the eve-
ning he took his daughter Leah and brought her to Jacob,
and he went in to her” (29:21–23).
That’s the kind of stuff when you read about it in the Bible,
you think to yourself, That could NOT have happened. But let
me ask you a question. Does God ever allow improbable
things to happen to advance His purposes?
Yes, He does, and I believe that God wanted Jacob to
experience what Esau and others had experienced at the
hands of his lying and deceiving. Jacob reaped what he
had sown all his life.
Genesis 29:25 says, “And in the morning, behold (Can
you even imagine?), it was Leah! And Jacob said to Laban,
‘What is this you have done to me? Did I not serve with you
for Rachel? Why then have you deceived me?’”
And right in that second—“Why then have you deceived
me?”—Jacob realized, It’s happened. I am reaping what I
have sown. I am feeling what I have made others feel. The
stronghold was revealed.
So Laban goes on to explain and makes a deal with Jacob
that if he’ll work another seven years, he’ll give Rachel
to him the next week. So Jacob agreed. But what’s in-
teresting is that Jacob doesn’t say another word. And I
believe the reason for that is because Jacob is crushed
with the realization, like Hosea says, “Sow the wind, reap
the whirlwind” (Hosea 8:7). It all came back upon Jacob.
And now, I want to ask you, how will you rise up and
break the chains, the strongholds, for the next generation?
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Because here’s the truth . . .
Strongholds blow up through our own decisions.
This is an immense opportunity to see God’s transforming
power released in YOUR life. Remember . . .
Nothing is different until we think differently.
Discovering your strongholds is the first step to destroying
them, and though it’s hard, it begins the journey that leads
to freedom. Because here’s the harsh reality if you don’t:
Strongholds can grow up in the behavior of your loved ones.
Let’s go back to Jacob years later. At this point in his sto-
ry, he’s packing up to get out of town with his wives and
family under cover of night. Why? Because he had been
lying and trying to deceive Laban, and now he’s running
away before Laban can get back at him. But notice in
Genesis 31:19, “Rachel stole her father’s household gods.”
So from this verse we can see that Laban’s family were
pagans. And how much spiritual impact is Jacob having
on his wife that she is willing to leave with him, yet wants
to take her father’s gods with her? Apparently, not much.
When Laban realizes what’s happened, we read, “And
Laban overtook Jacob,” (31:25) and he’s looking for these
idols. Laban searches everywhere throughout the camp
and finally goes into his daughter’s tent. Rachel is sitting
on the idols, and Laban tells her to get up. “And she said to
her father, ‘Let not my lord be angry that I cannot rise before
you, for the way of women is upon me.’ So he searched but
did not find the household gods” (31:35).
Rachel was born to a liar. Rachel was married to a liar.
And what does she become? A liar. Do you see how the
strongholds spread? Know this . . .
If nothing else scares us into destroying the strongholds in
our lives, seeing them in our loved ones should.
If we don’t make the hard decisions to think differently,
that story—in so many hurtful and destructive ways—is
going to be our kids’ and grandkids’ stories.
But the strongholds have now been detected. And in this
next chapter, we’re going to start destroying them!
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Are there any strongholds in your life that
you have noticed in your loved ones? Listen, it’s never
too late for you to change—nor is it too late for you to
help those around you change for God’s glory.
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QUESTION 1 : QUESTION 2: In what ways has your behavior built the
strongholds you’ve discovered in your life?
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7
When Strongholds
Start To Crumble
So now you might be thinking to yourself, Man! When will
I start actually destroying these strongholds? Well, we’re
about to, and the reason it’s taken this long is because
I wanted you to have a very clear sense of the specific
strongholds you are battling.
Let’s go to Genesis 32:1–3 where something very signifi-
cant happens in the life of Jacob and changes everything:
“Jacob went on his way, and the angels of God met him.
And when Jacob saw them he said, ‘This is God’s camp!’
So he called the name of that place Mahanaim. And Jacob
sent messengers before him to Esau his brother in the land
of Seir, the country of Edom . . . ”
Jacob is going back home, to the land that God had prom-
ised to him, and he is about to run into his brother from
whom he had stolen the birthright and firstborn blessing.
Two decades or more have passed, and he knows this
isn’t going to be easy.
“And Jacob sent messengers before him to Esau his brother
in the land of Seir, the country of Edom, instructing them,
‘Thus you shall say to my lord Esau: Thus says your servant
Jacob, “I have sojourned with Laban and stayed until now.
I have oxen, donkeys, flocks, male servants, and female
servants. I have sent to tell my lord, in order that I may
find favor in your sight”’” (32:3–5).
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In other words, Jacob’s doing it again. He doesn’t humble
himself; he doesn’t say, “I’m sorry.” He doesn’t send back
some kind of payment for what he stole. He just says, “I’m
rich and I’m coming back.”
Genesis 32:6 says, “And the messengers returned to Jacob,
saying, ‘We came to your brother Esau, and he is coming
to meet you, and there are four hundred men with him.’”
How does that sound—like good news or bad news?
Definitely bad news! Verses 7–8: “Then Jacob was greatly
afraid and distressed. (So watch what he does here due
to the strongholds in his thinking.) He divided the people
who were with him, and the flocks and herds and camels,
into two camps, thinking, ‘If Esau comes to the one camp
and attacks it, then the camp that is left will escape.’”
Are those acceptable or unacceptable casualties? Those
are completely unacceptable! I mean, this is unbelievable,
right? But then here comes his prayer . . .
“And Jacob said, ‘O God of my father Abraham and God
of my father Isaac, O Lord who said to me, “Return to your
country and to your kindred, that I may do you good,” (this
is probably the best part of the prayer) I am not worthy
of the least of all the deeds of steadfast love and all the
faithfulness that you have shown to your servant, for with
only my staff I crossed this Jordan, and now I have become
two camps. Please deliver me from the hand of my brother,
from the hand of Esau, for I fear him, that he may come
and attack me, the mothers with the children. But you said,
“I will surely do you good (Jacob is reminding God of His
promises in how He would multiply him), and make your
offspring as the sand of the sea, which cannot be numbered
for multitude”’” (32:9–12).
“So he stayed there that night, and from what he had with
him he took a present for his brother Esau (Jacob is about
to make a deal), two hundred female goats and twenty
male goats (remember that this is their currency), two
hundred ewes and twenty rams, thirty milking camels
and their calves, forty cows and ten bulls, twenty female
donkeys and ten male donkeys. These he handed over to
his servants, every drove by itself . . . (Jacob divides his
servants into these groups called droves and says to
them) ‘Pass on ahead of me and put a space between drove
and drove.’ He instructed the first, ‘When Esau my brother
meets you . . .’” (32:13–17).
So here comes Esau with four hundred men. And here
come these little separated caravans of servants and gifts
with Jacob. He’s thinking that Esau wants to rip him apart,
so he’s going to give him gift after gift. Genesis 32:20–21:
“For he thought, (Do you see it’s just his thinking?) ‘I may
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appease him with the present that goes ahead of me, and
afterward I shall see his face. Perhaps he will accept me.’
So the present passed on ahead of him, and he himself
stayed that night in the camp.”
Are strongholds there? Yes. Nothing’s changed yet in
Jacob. But it’s all about to. “The same night he arose and
took his two wives, his two female servants, and his eleven
children, and crossed the ford of the Jabbok. He took them
and sent them across the stream, and everything else that
he had” (32:22–23).
So Jacob sends them all across the river, and “Jacob was
left alone” (32:24). This is key, because God is about to
confront him. Note that God doesn’t often confront us
until we are by ourselves.
So let me ask you . . .
When was the last time you spent some time alone with God and felt the weight of all that He is?
A month ago? Maybe a year ago? I can’t stress enough
the importance of getting alone with God. Trust me, I
understand it can be hard, but when you make time for
Him, demands cease, distractions end, quiet invades,
reflection starts, and the Almighty God Himself speaks.
Sometimes we don’t get alone with God because we
sense that He is going to say something that we don’t
want to hear.
But friend, that is completely a lie from the enemy. Every
word that God speaks gives life, encourages, and births
hope within our hearts, even when it’s corrective. Don’t
avoid Him. Run to Him. He’s waiting with open arms.
Now getting back to the passage, in verse 24 we read,
“And Jacob was left alone. And a man wrestled with him
until the breaking of the day.” Now, this is not just any
man. The word man here is translated in the Hebrew to
the word ish [pronounced eesh], which could also be
translated, warrior.
“. . . a man wrestled with him until the breaking of the day.
When the man saw that he did not prevail against Jacob,
(You’re about to read the first indication of who this man
is.) he touched his hip socket, and Jacob’s hip was put out
of joint as he wrestled with him” (32:24–25).
First of all, the hip socket is one of the strongest joints in
the body. You couldn’t just fall and accidentally get your
hip socket out of joint. It takes two very strong opposing
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forces—like the force generated by a car accident. And it is
one of the most painful injuries that a person can experience.
And now here is the warrior. I’m going to show you that
this man is actually God Himself. “He touched his hip
socket, and Jacob’s hip was put out of joint as he wrestled
with him. Then he said, ‘Let me go, for the day has broken.’”
Some Bible scholars believe that, because no one has
seen God at any time, the fact that this “man” left before
light came is an indication of who it is. And then in verse
26, Jacob says, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.”
That’s the prerogative of deity. You don’t ask just anyone,
“Hey! Will you bless me?” So that’s an interesting thing to
say if it was just a man. “And he said to him, ‘What is your
name?’ And he said, ‘Jacob.’ Then he said, ‘Your name shall
no longer be called Jacob, but Israel, for you have striven
with God’” (32:27–28).
Who was he wrestling? Who confronted him? It was
God! Jesus Christ, the Second Person of the Trinity. And
it’s amazing because even though they wrestled through
the night, you can still see the gentleness of God. I mean,
why doesn’t He just pin Jacob down and tap him out? It’s
because He’s gentle.
I’m so thankful that we serve a God who’s never in a hurry
and whose love for us is patient, gentle, and kind.
Now, in this Scripture, we read how the Man (Jesus) asked
Jacob for his name. Do you think the Lord already knew
his name? Of course He did! So why’s He asking him? To
understand this, you have to first understand that naming
kids back then was not the same as it is now.
The way it was in Bible times was that you either got a
name that was positive because your parents hoped and
prayed that you would become that. Or you got a name
that was negative because, above all things, that was the
stronghold they wanted you to avoid.
Jacob means cheater, liar, and sketchy-dealmaker guy. So
the Lord asks Jacob as he’s on the ground in pain, “‘What
is your name?’ And he said, ‘Jacob.’ Then he said, ‘Your
name shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel (This is
awesome.), for you have striven with God and with men,
and have prevailed.’ Then Jacob asked him, ‘Please tell me
your name.’ But he said, ‘Why is it that you ask my name?’
And there he blessed him” (32:27–29).
Do you see the grace? “So Jacob called the name of the
place Peniel (the face of God), saying, ‘For I have seen God
face to face, and yet my life has been delivered” (32:30).
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Everything is changing here. Jacob is never going to be
the same. “The sun rose upon him as he passed Penuel,
limping because of his hip” (32:31). Once he was Jacob,
but now he is Israel with a permanent reminder of the
miracle God performed in his life.
So what are you going to do? I want to challenge you to take
some time and wrestle with God about the strongholds in
your life. I’m challenging you to stop letting your strong-
holds define you. I’m challenging you to yield to God, let
Him prevail, and be marked for the rest of your life by Him.
Because when you allow God’s victory to take hold in
your life, it becomes your victory just like that wrestling
match became Jacob’s.
When was the last time you spent signif-
icant alone time with God? What needs to change for
this to increase?
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QUESTION 1 :
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Have you ever been afraid of what God
might say when you open yourself up to Him? Listen, if
so, that’s a stronghold of fear and a lie from the enemy
that must be destroyed.
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QUESTION 2:
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Repentance Breaks Strongholds
C H A P T E R 8 You might be wondering to yourself now, Okay, I see what
God does, but what exactly am I supposed to do? The answer
to that question is in the phrase, “I repent.”
In the New Testament, the Greek word for repentance is
actually metanoia. And the word actually means a change
of mind. It’s the word most frequently used in both the
Old and New Testaments for thinking differently.
This is the most concentrated teaching in all of God’s
Word on the subject of repentance. And let me say right
now that the goal of this teaching is that you would re-
pent. But everything I’m going to challenge you to do, I
have done. Everything I’m going to call upon you to do
and respond to, I have as well.
Be assured, I don’t believe in practicing what you preach.
I believe in preaching what you practice. And I want you
to join me at this awesome place of repentance, a place
that I have come to believe is not one we simply visit, but
a place where we live.
In 2 Corinthians 7:8–11 Paul says, “For even if I made you
grieve with my letter, I do not regret it—though I did regret
it, for I see that that letter grieved you, though only for
a while. As it is, I rejoice, not because you were grieved,
but because you were grieved into repenting. For you felt
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a godly grief, so that you suffered no loss through us. For
godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation
without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death.
For see what earnestness this godly grief has produced
in you, but also what eagerness to clear yourselves, what
indignation, what fear, what longing, what zeal, what
punishment! At every point you have proved yourselves
innocent in the matter.”
That’s what repentance does—it brings cleansing. And
God’s heart is that we would be tenderhearted, easily
submissive, and quickly responsive to the workings of
His Spirit.
Repentance is truly a gift from God. The most dangerous
thing a follower of Jesus can say is, “I’ll repent when I’m
ready because I’m not finished with this sin yet.” Do you
have any idea how hazardous that is? Only God can bring
you to a place of repentance, and I’m going to biblically
substantiate that claim.
2 Timothy 2:25 says, “. . . correcting his opponents with gen-
tleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to
a knowledge of the truth . . .” Do you see it? You can harden
your heart, expecting to soften it with the flip of a switch
when you’re “ready,” but according to Genesis 6:3, “Then
the Lord said, ‘My Spirit shall not abide in man forever . . .’”
Listen; this is serious. It’s possible to come to a place
where God’s not even trying to do that in your life any-
more. You can’t just put off repentance. If you’ve never
given your life to Jesus Christ, turn from your sin this
moment and embrace Christ by faith for your forgiveness
and receive the free gift of eternal life. But if you have
made that decision, Hebrews 10:26–29 says this:
“For if we go on sinning deliberately after receiving the
knowledge of the truth, there no longer remains a sacrifice
for sins, but a fearful expectation of judgment, and a fury
of fire that will consume the adversaries. Anyone who
has set aside the law of Moses dies without mercy on the
evidence of two or three witnesses. (That’s the way it was
in the Old Testament.) How much worse punishment, do
you think, will be deserved by the one who has trampled
underfoot the Son of God, and has profaned the blood of
the covenant by which he was sanctified, and has outraged
the Spirit of grace?”
Judgment has to begin at the house of God. We are people
who are supposed to be prolific in our repentance. I don’t
want to rebuke you. I don’t want to hurt your heart, but listen
to what He says about this matter of the church in Revelation
2:5, “Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent,
and do the works you did at first. If not, I will come to you and
remove your lampstand from its place, unless you repent.”
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Those are words straight from the mouth of our Savior. He
also says in Revelation 3:19, “Those whom I love, I reprove
and discipline, so be zealous and repent.” Zealous is the
idea of put your energy into it; put your passion into getting
to a fresh, deeper, vibrant place with the Lord.
Right now, you may be someone who has known Jesus
for thirty or forty years. But is this how you’re going to
finish? Just kind of going through the motions, limping
into heaven?
I don’t want that. I want to listen better, think higher, love
more, and give God easier access to every area of my life
as my days grow fewer and fewer.
Let me give you a definition of repentance:
A recognition of sin
followed by heartfelt sorrow
culminating in a change of behavior.
And here are the fruits of this kind of thinking differently:
1. GRIEF OVER SIN.2 Corinthians 7:9–10 says, “For you felt a godly grief, so
that you suffered no loss through us. For godly grief pro-
duces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret,
whereas worldly grief produces death.”
That word grief, lupeo, is used twenty-six times in the New
Testament, and half of those usages are in 2 Corinthians.
This word grief literally means soul anguish. It’s what the
disciples felt when Jesus announced His crucifixion in
Matthew 17:23.
Now, what does worldly grief produces death mean? Do you
see that phrase at the end of verse 10? It doesn’t mean
physical death, or there would be no distinction between
worldly grief and godly grief. Paul’s not talking about
the first death, which is physical; he’s talking about the
second death—the lake of fire. Paul is talking about hell.
And a lifetime of shallow worldly repentance leads to hell.
That’s a lifetime of, “Sorry, God. Whoops! I did it again. I
just always do it.”
Listen to 2 Corinthians 3:18: “And we all, with unveiled
face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed
into the same image from one degree of glory to another.”
I always say, “Not perfectly, but increasingly we are be-
coming conformed to the image of Jesus.”
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2. REPULSION TOWARD SIN. 2 Corinthians 7:11 says, “For see what earnestness . . .”
Earnestness means haste; hurry; diligence.
Do you remember that show that used to be on television
called Fear Factor? I had to stop watching it because they
would always have some crazy thing at the end of the
show. They did all these cool competitions, but then at
the end they had to eat five gopher eyes or something.
It would just sicken me, and then I thought, I can’t un-see
that. So I just never watched it again.
That’s exactly what repentance is like. But of course in all sin
there’s deception. And because Satan is an angel of light, he
makes things glitter and glow, but repentance is detecting
the rationalizations that allowed you to see something as
attractive that is actually ultimately and eternally ugly.
3. RESTITUTION TOWARD OTHERS.Right here in the text in 2 Corinthians 7:11, Paul says,
“. . . what punishment!” The New American Standard
version translates punishment as avenging of wrong.
When true repentance happens, we are immediately
concerned with the people we have hurt. Now, we don’t
burden people with our confession. You don’t go to your
wife and say, “Let me just tell you what I’ve been doing,”
then go on and tell her every detail. Love covers.
4. REVIVAL TOWARD GOD.That’s what is meant by 2 Corinthians 7:11: “. . . what fear,
what longing, what zeal . . .” Repentance stokes a fired-
up relationship with God. Mercy is showered upon you,
grace is received, forgiveness is experienced, and new
disciplines are established.
5. MOVING FORWARD WITHOUT LOOKING BACK.
Repentance is moving forward and not looking back. No-
tice in 2 Corinthians 7:9, “. . . you suffered no loss through
us.” It’s sorrow without regret and looking forward to the
years that remain.
A.W. Tozer said, “Let us beware of vain and over-hasty repen-
tance, and particularly let us beware of no repentance at all.”
Hell will be filled with people who prayed a prayer but
never really repented of their sin. There has to be a turning
from something before there is a believing in something
else. Today, you can turn.
Get alone, let God confront you, and repent. Don’t wallow
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in generalities. Let the Spirit of God prick your heart about
something specific. Confess it and forsake it.
In describing the prodigal son’s return home, Luke 15:20–
24 says, “But while he was still a long way off, his father
saw him and felt compassion, and ran and embraced him
and kissed him. And the son said to him, ‘Father, I have
sinned against heaven and before you. I am no longer
worthy to be called your son.’ But the father said to his
servants, ‘Bring quickly the best robe, and put it on him,
and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet. And bring
the fattened calf and kill it, and let us eat and celebrate.
For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost,
and is found.’ And they began to celebrate.”
Loved one, that is the heart of our Father God! Don’t re-
sist, rebel, or refuse His grace in your stubbornness. Let
God shower you with His mercy in the beautiful place of
repentance and start thinking differently.
When have you dwelt in the awesome
place of repentance? Remember, it’s not something
you do once and then you’re done with it. It’s a gift from
God Himself that draws us closer to Him and helps us
to think differently.
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QUESTION 1 :
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Where do you want to be 5, 10, 30 years
from now? Do you want to be struggling then with the
same things you are now? What steps do you need to
take to make change happen?
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QUESTION 2:
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C H A P T E R 9
When You
Fail To Think
Differently—
Do This.
So, we’ve found our strongholds—those fortified places
and stubborn patterns of thinking that are resistant to
God’s Word and God’s will. Then we let God confront
us, and we’ve repented.
That’s the crisis of thinking differently, but it’s followed
very quickly with the process, which brings with it the
realization that this is a very tough thing.
When you’ve been thinking a certain way—not for weeks
or for months, but for years and decades—it can be easy
to fall back into old patterns. So know this . . .
Broken strongholds will battle to be rebuilt.
Yes, they are torn down through repentance, but a daily
decision still has to be made to think differently. I have
to own it and “take every thought captive to obey Christ”
(2 Corinthians 10:5).
Simply letting God confront you and then repenting isn’t
the end. That’s the crisis, but now comes the process. In
fact, loved one, also note:
When you fail in the process of thinking differently, you
must return to the crisis of stronghold repentance.
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I can’t say it any clearer than that. This could happen
frequently—maybe even several times a day. Where the
trouble really comes is not how often you fall at first, but
how long you stay down and justify it.
Let’s say you’ve had a bitter heart toward someone. God’s
confronted you, you’ve repented of your bitterness and
un-forgiveness, and you’ve chosen to forgive the person.
And a day later, you’re mad again, thinking about them the
way you did before. In that exact moment, don’t accept
those old arguments. Don’t accept the lofty opinions that
are exalting themselves against the knowledge of God.
Take every thought captive to obey Christ and say, “I’m
not that person anymore. I’m not going to think that way.”
Listen, we’ve all fallen back. I certainly have, and in Gen-
esis 33, Jacob does too. When you fall back, do this . . .
Remove stronghold supports from your life.
There are things you have established and placed around
your stronghold that help you continue to think the wrong
way. That scaffolding has to be torn down, too.
In Genesis 35, here comes God. Isn’t He awesome? God
is relentless in His pursuit of us. He loves us so deeply
that He would rather see us anywhere than living in the
grip of a stronghold. And He shows us that with Jacob.
Genesis 35:1: “God said to Jacob, ‘Arise, go up to Bethel and
dwell there. Make an altar there to the God who appeared
to you when you fled from your brother Esau.’ So Jacob said
to his household and to all who were with him (here it is:),
‘Put away the foreign gods that are among you and purify
yourselves and change your garments.’”
Then in Genesis 35:4, “So they gave to Jacob all the for-
eign gods that they had, and the rings that were in their
ears. Jacob hid them under the terebinth tree that was
near Shechem.”
So if you fall back, here are three questions that need to
be answered:
1. WHERE DID I GO WRONG?2. WHAT TRIPPED ME UP?3. WHAT NEEDS TO BE REMOVED?
Listen . . .
Whatever feeds your stronghold must be put
out of reach, or you won’t think differently.
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At the end of the day, the battle is over what you believe
about God. Ever since Satan attacked Eve’s view of God
in the Garden of Eden, wrong views of God have always
led to wrong thinking, which leads to wrong behavior.
You can’t change your behavior if you don’t change your
thinking. And you won’t change your thinking if you don’t
change your thinking about God. Romans 12:2 says, “. . . be
transformed by the renewal of your mind . . .” by the Word
of God. You have to step into the life that He has purchased
for you, His child, through the sacrifice of His own Son,
Jesus Christ.
I was a senior in high school when I committed my life to
Christ. I was serving the Lord in a student ministry. I was
seeking the Lord on a regular basis for the first time in my
life. I was falling in love with Kathy, with dreams of where
I wanted to go with my life, but I kept falling backwards.
But one day, I went to this youth rally where Tom Maharis
spoke. There were about two hundred kids there, and
he preached on the impact that evil music can make in
your life.
I don’t want to get you drifting off into a bunch of bands
that I could name, but I’ll just say that what I was lis-
tening to was evil. And I’m not just talking about sexual
music—though it was that—it was more than that. And
I would listen to it all for hours every day.
Tom Maharis preached on this. He said that anyone who
was ready to make a commitment that included a change
of music choices should stand. And I was the only kid
who stood.
I didn’t meet Maharis until fifteen years later. He said,
“I wondered why I even went there. Just one kid made
a decision.” But I was that kid—and it changed my life. I
went home and took all the music and posters I had and
got rid of them. So much so that by the time my kids were
in high school, I wouldn’t even listen to a secular song.
It’s not an issue of any kind in my life now. And I praise
God for that. But it took some radical obedience from
me. I didn’t judge others who didn’t need to make the
same decision, but I did need to because of what I was
struggling with.
Now, I’m not telling you this so you’ll do what I did; I’m
telling you this so that you’ll ask yourself, What is that
stronghold in my life?
It may seem like a silly story in some ways now, but if
you’re stuck in a place where you’re tough in your heart,
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and your flesh seems stronger than your spirit, then you’re
struggling with strongholds instead of living in victory.
You’re falling back. So . . .
Raise reminders to actually think differently.
Take out the strongholds and destroy anything that was
supporting them. And then put things in your life that will
remind you to think differently. You could put something
on the dashboard of your car. You could post something by
your fridge. You could put something on your nightstand.
But once you have raised that sacred reminder, review
your identity and your calling in the Lord.
Watch what happens in Genesis 35:9–10: “God appeared
to Jacob again, when he came from Paddan-aram, and
blessed him. And God said to him, ’Your name is Jacob;
no longer shall your name be called Jacob, but Israel shall
be your name.’”
Wait, didn’t that just happen? Yes it had, but God is so
gracious that He will always come back when our own
thinking slips, in order to remind us of what is true. And
when God moves toward you, two things have to happen . . .
Your view of God has to change, and your view of
yourself has to change.
Jacob fell back, and God’s coming right at him, but first
Jacob is going to have to see God differently—and he
does. Then God comes right at his identity. Jacob means
deceiver, and do you remember what Israel means? It
means you wrestled with God and won.
Right theology and right identity. For decades maybe
you have fought, arguing with God, or lying to get your
way. And God took you down and laid you out. Well, like
Jacob, you have to change your view of God and change
your view of yourself.
You are not a liar anymore. You have a new name. It’s
time to think differently.
What stronghold supports do you need
to remove from your life? How do you plan to do that?
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QUESTION 1 :
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What reminders do you need to raise to
help you think differently?
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QUESTION 2:
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What is your view of God and yourself?
How might either need to change?
Be sure to align your heart and mind with the truths of
God’s Word.
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QUESTION 3:
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How To Renew Your Mind Pt. 1
C H A P T E R 1 0
Everything we’ve learned and studied has led us to dis-
covering how to renew your mind. Thinking differently
means a continually renewed mind.
But first I want to confess something to you. I was very
excited to get into Jacob’s life and study it. I feel like I’ve
learned a ton about Jacob, and I hope you have too. But
I have to say that I am super disappointed in Jacob.
Abraham, his grandfather, was a flawed man, to be sure.
He wasn’t perfect, but he learned, and you could see
evidence of him changing.
Moses had struggles. He barely got any traction until he
was eighty years old. But he finished in some amazing
ways. And even though there were consequences for him
at the end, he had changed.
Now I don’t know how you feel, but I’ve spent my life
studying these Bible characters, and they feel like friends
to me. Even when I study David—he had a massive blow-
out, committing adultery then murder to cover it up—but
he learned, he repented, and God got hold of his heart.
There were consequences for his sin, but he experienced
better days in his future.
But to be honest, I’m not sure if Jacob ever really got it.
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I have scoured these chapters in Genesis trying to find
the “I have decided to follow Jesus, no turning back” part.
And I just have to say that I trust the Lord in everything,
but Jacob’s life is a warning that bad patterns of thinking
can stay with you until death.
Jacob could have engaged a lot more deeply in God’s
transforming power, but he didn’t. The bad thinking is
there until the end, which leads to me to this strong
conclusion . . .
Sin not removed and pain not resolved will always plague your
intentions to think differently.
I wish I could be with you personally right now and say
this to you. But if you have sin in your life that you haven’t
removed, and if you have pain in your life that you hav-
en’t resolved, it will always plague your best intentions
to think differently.
Let’s start with “Sin not removed.” What do I mean by that?
I mean the sexual sin, lying, and deceiving that was going
on in Jacob’s life that he didn’t do anything about. Let’s
learn how to remove it.
Please realize that this whole “thinking differently” thing
is a huge waste of time if you don’t remove sin in your
life. Otherwise, you’re going to be just like Jacob. There
are three things you must do in order to keep this from
happening . . .
1. RELENT!2. REPENT!3. REMOVE!
That’s it.
1. RELENT: “YOU’RE RIGHT, GOD.”2. REPENT: “I’M WRONG, GOD.”3. REMOVE: TAKE THE SOURCE OF SIN
TO THE STREET.
Romans 13:14 says, “Make no provision for the flesh.”
You have to get serious about victory instead of sourcing
your sin.
I want to show you another story from Genesis to illustrate
this truth scripturally. In Genesis 4, we see the results
of the Fall as we read about Adam and Eve’s children,
Cain and Abel. They’re offering sacrifices to God, but
Cain’s offering is rejected. Yet his brother’s offering gets
accepted, and Cain is angry about it.
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Then in Genesis 4:6, “The Lord said to Cain, ‘Why are you
angry . . . ? If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if
you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door. Its desire
is for you, but you must rule over it.’” Cain chose not to
do well, and his stronghold led him to kill his brother.
That is true for you, me, and every other person in this
world. We have an enemy who wants strongholds pro-
tected and wants to take your life and my life down. This
is as real as real gets. You have to take radical action to
relent, repent, and remove. Know this . . .
Sin not removed will inevitably return and, with a
vengeance, it will ruin you.
Now, let’s go over some things we do instead of removing
sin that we think is removing sin. The first is setting sin
aside. We set it aside on a sunny day when we’re feeling
good, but we don’t radically remove it. And then when
the storm comes, we run right back to that sin.
The second is stuff it down. But trying to stuff sin down
is futile, unhealthy, and doesn’t last.
Then lastly, we seek a replacement. But when we replace
one addiction with another, it’s not removed; it’s simply
a scenery change and the sin is still there.
Listen, if your sin isn’t removed, and your pain isn’t re-
solved, you’re just an accident waiting to happen. I so
wish that wasn’t true, but here comes the good news.
What’s incredible about the story of Jacob is that while his
deficiencies are apparent and hardly ever seem to diminish
in his life, the immense constancy of God never waivers.
In every chapter and in every paragraph, God is there.
In spite of Jacob’s stubborn strongholds, God’s steadfast
love was constant.
So now, let’s go over how to resolve the pain. As I’ve
studied this, and thought and prayed about it, there are
three things I want to show you regarding pain:
1. NAME IT!When you come to a place where you really want to think
differently, call it something different.
• You don’t have to call it my cancer;
start calling it my every day counts.
• You don’t have to call it my betrayal;
start calling it my eyes were opened.
• You don’t have to call it my bankruptcy;
start calling it my new value system.
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• You don’t have to call it my divorce;
start calling it my new wisdom restart.
Name the grace that covers it and not the sin that caused it.
2. GRIEVE IT!You can’t leave it until you grieve it. I sound like one of
those catchy talker guys, but please don’t focus on the
rhyme. I’m not trying to crank you up in some moment
of inspiration. I’m trying to instruct you from the things
that I see in God’s Word.
3. LEAVE IT!Lastly, don’t stuff or try to hide sin, but leave it. The blood
of Jesus Christ covers all sin. So choose to live in no other
reality than the one your Father in heaven declares over
you. This is so important.
In 1990, a lifelong friend of mine and his wife visited
Kathy and me in Chicago while we were living in Arling-
ton Heights. They came to our house, and they brought a
couple with them. Interestingly, I had known the man in
the couple when I was a little boy, but I hadn’t seen this
in guy over thirty years. I didn’t know anything about his
wife or his story, but it became very apparent.
When he visited our home, he was far from God. I re-
member him sitting in my basement and pouring out his
story of grief, bitterness, and anger. He had left God and
was living in the world. His life and family were a mess.
Well, when I had been on staff at Arlington Free Church,
we had invited Larnelle Harris to come and sing. You may
not know who that is, but I played one of his songs in that
moment. Here are the lyrics . . .
In It After All
So You were in it after all
All of those moments I spent crying
When something inside of me was dying
I didn’t know that You heard me
Each time I called
You had a reason for those trials
It seems I grew stronger every mile
Now I know You were in it after all
I put that song on the stereo, and this guy wept like I’d
hardly ever seen a man weep. He was crushed by the
reality that in all of the pain and in all of the disappoint-
ment, God was there in the middle of it.
Right then he rededicated his life to the Lord. His wife
came to know Christ, and his kids gave their lives to Christ.
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He went to seminary and became a pastor! But then he
fell in love with another woman, going right back into the
world and losing it all.
You have to remove the sin.
You have to resolve the pain.
If you don’t, you’ll never think differently.
What sin have you not removed from
your life?
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QUESTION 1 :
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What pain have you not resolved?
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Go back over the steps for each of those two questions
in this chapter and prayerfully seek God’s wisdom for
each of them.
QUESTION 2:
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11
How To Renew Your Mind Pt. 2
As we considered in the last chapter, in spite of all the
grace, time, and opportunities that were given him to
change, Jacob didn’t. And here’s the worst part: He always
thought that he was going to.
We finished up studying Jacob in Genesis 35. Genesis 36
is about Esau, and Genesis 37 begins the story of Joseph.
What Genesis 37:3 says about Jacob is interesting. Re-
member, his name got changed to Israel . . . “Now Israel
loved Joseph more than any other of his sons (That’s the
same problem his parents had. And now here’s Jacob,
struggling with the same stronghold.), because he was
the son of his old age. And he made him a robe of many
colors . . . (Then here’s the big problem in verse 11.) And
his brothers were jealous of him, but his father kept the
saying in mind.”
His brothers go on to sell Joseph as a slave to Egypt, but
God still uses the dysfunction of this family, because
He’s in it all. And years later, Joseph gets elevated to be
the Number Two over all of Egypt under Pharaoh. It’s an
incredible story.
Now, this Pharaoh isn’t like the president in that there’s
no congress or Supreme Court to balance power. There
aren’t any elections. So you can imagine just how much
power Joseph had being the Number Two. He ended up
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saving the nation from famine, and ultimately his family
came to Egypt and he saved them, too.
So now you’re Jacob and you’re about to meet the Pharaoh,
who elevated your favorite son and saved your family.
What’s Jacob going to say? “Man! We’ve been waiting for
a chance to tell you, Sir, how appreciative we are that you
made our son the vice president of Egypt. Our family was
going to STARVE if it weren’t for you.”
But here’s what Jacob actually says in Genesis 47:7:
“Then Joseph brought in Jacob his father and stood him
before Pharaoh, and Jacob blessed Pharaoh. And Pharaoh
said to Jacob, ‘How many are the days of the years of your
life?’ And Jacob said to Pharaoh, ‘The days of the years of
my sojourning are 130 years. (Here is Jacob’s summary
of himself.) Few and evil have been the days of the years
of my life . . .’”
Few! In other words, not few because he’s one hundred
thirty years old. That’s not few! But what he means is that
they went by fast. “I thought there would be more time. I
thought I would make some progress in this thinking and living
differently. I just thought I would be farther along by now.
I didn’t think I would still be struggling with these things.”
Now just think about this for a minute. His summary
term for the entirety of his experience was not “hard”
or “mixed.” It was “evil.” I don’t want this to come out
harshly, but understand:
Think differently or live to regret it.
“What should have been, what could have been, and what
would have been if I had let God do what He wanted to in
my life?” As long as you’re pointing your finger at your
parents, your past, or your problems, you’re not going
to have a lot of regret, just resentment. But when the
boulder of reality lands on you, you recognize, like Jacob
finally had to, regret.
I did a quick fact-check. In Genesis 25:7, we see that
Abraham lived to be one hundred seventy-five. Isaac
lived to be one hundred eighty (35:28). Now, how old is
Jacob here? He’s one hundred thirty.
So if Jacob is going to live to be the average of his father
and his grandfather, he still has forty-seven and a half
years left. What’s interesting is that if you look at Gen-
esis 47:28, Jacob actually dies when he is one hundred
forty-seven years old.
So he thinks he has all these years left, but he just has
seventeen. Isn’t that the way it goes for a lot of people?
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I thought there was more time. I thought I would work on it
next year. I didn’t think I would end in regret. But Jacob did.
He ended up in a box with massive regrets.
Hebrews 11:21 says, “By faith Jacob, when dying, blessed
each of the sons of Joseph, bowing in worship over the head
of his staff.” Now, why does it say that? What a funny thing
to point out, right? At the end of Jacob’s life, he blessed
his kids, and he worshiped God. Some translations say
“leaning” on his staff. That is the last mention of Jacob
in the Bible. At the very end, he was leaning. Why is this
Scripture pointing that out?
I can’t say for sure, but I believe what they’re telling us
here is that Jacob was weak to the very end. Even though
Jacob loved God, prayed over his kids, and worshiped to
the last day, he didn’t let God have His way in his life . . .
Jacob always bore the scars of the strongholds he
stubbornly maintained.
And because I’ve been saying, “Nothing is different until
you think differently,” let me say something positive now
as we go to the New Testament: “Everything is different
when we think differently.” This is where you find relief
from the Lord that covers over every regret. And it starts
with renewing your mind.
Look at Ephesians 4:17–21: “Now this I say and testify in
the Lord, that you must no longer walk as the Gentiles do,
in the futility of their minds. They are darkened in their un-
derstanding, alienated from the life of God because of the
ignorance that is in them, (notice the strongholds here) due
to their hardness of heart. They have become callous and
have given themselves up to sensuality, greedy to practice
every kind of impurity. But that is not the way you learned
Christ!—assuming that you have heard about him . . . ”
Have you heard how awesome Jesus is? Have you heard
that God loves us and sent His Son? Have you heard
that He died as an atoning sacrifice for your sin so that
you can be completely forgiven to receive the free gift
of eternal life?
You can. That’s called the good news. That’s the gospel.
You don’t have to live under the weight of the conse-
quences of futile, darkened thinking; you can be set free
from all of that, and step into the glorious liberty of the
sons and daughters of Jesus through faith in Him.
“. . . and were taught in him, as the truth is in Jesus, to put
off your old self (there is still that temptation, but we put
that off), which belongs to your former manner of life and
is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in
the spirit of your minds” (4:21–23).
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Thinking differently and renewing your mind are the same
thing. Romans 12:1–2 says, “I appeal to you therefore,
brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies
as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is
your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world,
but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by
testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is
good and acceptable and perfect.”
So this brings us back to the question, “How do I renew
my mind?” The answer is in these three things you have to
do. When you fail in the process, you return to the crisis,
but here is the process of thinking differently:
1. PROTECT YOUR MIND.You have to protect your mind with the Word of God.
Matthew 4:1–11 is the story of the Temptation of Jesus.
Jesus was in the wilderness for forty days, fasting and
praying before His ministry. And just when Jesus is on the
way out (it’s always when we’re at our weakest, right?),
Satan confronts Him and lays it down. When Jesus is so
hungry and so thirsty, Satan confronts and tempts Him.
But with every temptation, Jesus replies, “It is written . . .”
followed by the Word of God. He is teaching us here how
to protect our minds, and it’s through God’s Word.
2. WASH YOUR MIND.In Ephesians 5, the subject is husbands and wives. Ephe-
sians 5:25–26 says, “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ
loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might
sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water
with the word . . .”
Sanctify means to make holy. In salvation, Jesus declares
us to be holy. But in sanctification, He is making it so and
the Word does the washing.
You may have heard some things. You may have looked
at some things. You may have done some things and
have some regrets. But you can take the Word of God
and saturate and renew your mind with it.
I would not be writing this if it was not for the sustaining
power of the Word of God to right me, to reconcile me
with reality, and to renew my thinking.
Maybe the great sin of your life is not that temptation
or struggle as you see it. Maybe it’s your neglect of the
Word of God. It’s life to you, and you have to renew your
mind with it.
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3. SET YOUR MIND.Colossians 3:2 says, “Set your minds on things that are
above . . .” That’s what you do in the morning. When
you get up and you have a day in front of you with a
thousand decisions to make, and you’re feeling a ton of
pressure—set your mind. Get up. Get into God’s Word.
And set your mind.
Loved one, everything changes when you start thinking
differently. Renew your mind in God’s Word. Keep hoping,
and be sensitive to God’s promptings to change. Brighter
days are ahead as you think differently.
What have you set your mind on? Do you
need to make Scripture memorization a higher priority
in your life? I can’t overemphasize how important this
is to thinking differently and having a right view of God
and yourself.
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QUESTION 1 :
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Have you washed your mind with God’s
Word? Remember, it’s not a once-a-week practice, but
a daily blessing from God.
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QUESTION 2:
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additional
notes
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