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March 1, 2017

DS Tom Newsletter

What am I doing to reach people who do not know Jesus as personal Lord and Savior? The story of Zaccheus (Luke 19) has continued to be one of the favorite Bible stories of all time. The message is clear and the response of Zaccheus is impacting. The life mission of Jesus is clearly stated in verse 10: “For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost.” Seeking and Saving is what Jesus is all about. This month take time everyday to consider your mission in life. People need God to transform their lives through forgiveness of sins. How about my burden for the lost? God is asking each of us to care enough for the lost and to share the good news of salvation. TAKE TIME TO PRAY AND PRAISE FOR…. WHAT YOU WILL FIND In this DS newsletter:

1. Leader Connect with Church Multiplication & Discipleship Director Anita Eastlack 2. ENGAGE – District Women’s Retreat 3. SUMMER CAMP SCHEDULE at Whispering Pines (Family, Camp 180 & WK Camp) 4. NMD PRAYER CONNECT – Unity in Prayer emphasis 5. EVENT 323 sponsored by East Michigan Dist with Carey Nieuwohf at Saline Community Church 6. 2019 The Gathering 7. IMPACTS Information 8. 2017 Dates to Remember 9. Instructions to connect to Zoom 10. The American Religious Data Resource (the arda) information. 11. Dan Reiland’s 4 Most recent leadership articles posted in February

1. February Leader Connect via ZOOM is on March 7, 2017 at 9:00 am and 7:00 pm Topic: Membership – Q & A with CMAD Director Anita Eastlack. Chad Brown is the facilitator for Leader Connect Zoom. (.) Have questions that you would like to ask? Send them to Chad by email: heypastorchad@gmail.com . (How to connect to Zoom is at the end of the DS Newsletter)

2.ENGAGE – DISTRICT WOMEN’S RETREAT at Shoreline Inn, Muskegon on March 25 Gathering with other women at Engage is a fantastic way to deepen your walk with God. Contact Beverly Kimball, 616-540-3750 or bkimball6@gmail.com for more information. Registration begins at 8am and ENGAGE concludes shortly after 3pm. If desired women can stay Friday night at Shoreline Inn. Registration for the day event $40 per person and includes lunch or register 5 or more for only $35 per person. Please register today! 3.SUMMER CAMP SCHEDULE at Whispering Pines Family Camp – Two weekend dates to consider and attend – Revival Weekend Camp June 30-July 2 and Family Weekend July 7-9. Attend between the two weekends for special inexpensive pricing. Camp 180 for Teens – July 11-15 for Junior and Senior High. WK Camp – Wesleyan Kids Camp July 17-19 for children ages 6-9 and July 19-22 for children 10-12. Find our pricing, how to register and other pertinent information by going to the Whispering Pines website: www.whisperingpinescamp.org.

North Michigan District of The Wesleyan Church Vision: Transforming people through Christ. Empowering an expanding number of churches to be missionally healthy, to passionately transform diverse cultures for Christ. Mission: Exists to equip, enrich, administrate and communicate to pastors and laity in

redemptive ways to accomplish the Great Commission

https://northmichigandistrictofthewesleyanchurch.org

2 4.NMD PRAYER CONNECT Being launched on March 8 is NMD Prayer Connect. The NMD Prayer Connect will be “live on location” at 7:15 pm every second Wednesday of the month. It is 15 minutes at 7:15 pm to pray for the people of our North Michigan District churches to have a relevant relationship with God and with their community. It is a prayer time that will be live via FB live (Facebook Thomas K. Schmidt) and Zoom. (Connect to Zoom information is at the end of the newsletter.

Praying for relevancy of ministry Praying for revival Praying for relationship ministry Praying for radical outreach

How to be involved? Invite Pastor Tom to be “on location” for a NMD Prayer Connect during a Wednesday night church event that is taking place at your church. It can be during any of the following: Youth Group, Bible Study, Small Group, Focus Group, Board Meeting or any other type of ministry gathering of your church. The time for the “live on location” will be 15 minutes and the prayers will be directed toward relevancy of people in North Michigan District and the local church to reach their community for Christ. Contact DS Tom (nmdoffice.dstom@yahoo.com) to schedule your location for a “live on location” NMD Prayer Connect. TAKE TIME TO PRAY AND PRAISE FOR….

Pray that every church in NMD to have people come to know Christ every month in 2017. Pray that every church in NMD has people baptized. Pray that every church in NMD supports at least one Global Partner – missionary. Pray that every church in NMD has at least one Made New Gathering, new outreach event in 2017. Pray that every church in NMD has at least one person called to full time ministry! Pray that every church in NMD has an effective discipleship ministry. Pray that every church in NMD is financially secure to make greater ministry impact outside the walls of

the local church. Praise God for very favorable pastoral votes at Central Montcalm Community for Chris and Jean Austin

and at Shelby Wesleyan for Todd and Michelle Deuling. Continue to pray for Bellaire Wesleyan Church and Ellsworth pastors Chris Wallace and Scott Hayes as

they partnership in ministry to effectively reach the people of these communities. Crystal Lake Community still is in search of the Lead Pastor to guide them and on March 26 Scott and

Rachel McNett will be coming to candidate. Pray for Assistant Pastor Charlie Bellinger, Leadership Chair Cornelius Bornman and Pastor Search Leader Brian Arnz as they continue to give direction. They continue to give excellent leadership.

Pray for Midland Faith as Pastor Dennis and Sue Curell have resigned as pastor and seek God’s direction for their future ministry. Pray for the pastor search team as they are involved in pastoral search process.

Pray for West Golden Wesleyan as Pastor Ron and Carol Rickard retire and a new pastor considers ministry at West Golden.

Praise God for Holy Spirit working at a gathering of church multiplication pastors, DS’s and general church leaders in Atlanta two weeks ago. Pray that God would give direction to a group of people meeting next week seeking direction for church planting empowerment.

Pray for Sault Wesleyan Church Ministry leadership as a new lead pastor is being selected. Pray for Coleman Wesleyan as Pastor Jack and Elaine Steenbergh are retiring and seeking where God

would direct them to live and continue serving as He guides. Pray for Pastor Search Team as a lead pastor is sought and selected. Also pray for Chuck and Shannon Hollenbeck as they have also resigned and seeking a new ministry position.

Pray for Gen. Supt. Wayne Schmidt, General Board, Department Leaders and staff at HQ. Keep in prayers Pastor Ron and Carole Rickard as they retire this spring. Be in prayer for the churches, pastors and staff that are involved pastoral changes this spring.

5. East Michigan District invite to EVENT 323

3 On March 23 at Saline Wesleyan Church there will be a “Leading Change & Staying Healthy” Conference with Caret Nieuwohf called EVENT 323. No cost for this event but registration is needed before March 7. To registrer and find out more information put this address in your web browser: https://www.wesleyan.org/emd 6. THE GATHERING 2019 is taking place January 9-12, 2019 at Royale Caribe Resort in Orlando, Florida. Remember to pray for and save the date. The District Board of Administration is discussing ways to help every pastor and spouse who want to attend The Gathering with some funding from the District. This is the time for every local church to begin putting funds aside for travel, lodging and meals. 7. IMPACTS TEAM COMING TRAINING – Church Consulting Video Sessions, Grip Birkman review and new assessment participation, Lighthouse Leadership Sessions with Dr. Tim Mills, Spiritual Formation interactive sessions, prayer team investment and Coaching application. 8. 2017 DATES TO REMEMBER: March 7 - Leader Connect by ZOOM 9:00 am or 7:00 pm - Topic is on Membership March 8 – 7:15 pm NMD Prayer Connect via FB live or ZOOM March 25 – North Michigan Women’s Retreat at Shoreline Inn, Muskegon April 4 - Leader Connect by ZOOM 9:00 am or 7:00 pm April 12 – 7:15 pm NMD Prayer Connect via FB live or ZOOM May 2 - Leader Connect by ZOOM 9:00 am or 7:00 pm May 5 & 6 - DBMD ministerial student and ordination candidate interviews May 10 – 7:15 pm NMD Prayer Connect via FB live or ZOOM May 18 – Retired Elders Assisting in Ministry Luncheon in Cadillac May18-19 – Pastors Prayer & Fast at Whispering Pines Conference Center June 14 – 7:15 pm NMD Prayer Connect via FB live or ZOOM June 24 – District Conference is scheduled to take place at Houghton Lake June 30-July 2 and July 7-9 – Making Memories Family Camp at Whispering Pines July 11-15 – Camp 180 for students (teens) at Whispering Pines July 12 – 7:15 pm NMD Prayer Connect via FB live or ZOOM at Whispering Pines July 17-19 & 19-22 – Wesleyan Kid’s Camp (WK Camp) at Whispering Pines August 9 – 7:15 pm NMD Prayer Connect via FB live or ZOOM September 9 – Celebration of Ministry Banquet and Ordination September 13 – 7:15 pm NMD Prayer Connect via FB live or ZOOM 9.EXCELLENT RESOURCE FOR DEMOGRAPHIC INFORMATION The Association of Religion Data Archives | Quality Data on Religion www.thearda.com/ The ARDA provides free access to the most authoritative religion statistics, data and church membership reports from around the world. This is an excellent resource that provides the population in your region and the number of people who do not claim any religious affiliation in your ministry responsibility. Praising God as He calls us to serve Him faithfully,

D.S. Pastor Tom 10. Instructions for Connecting on Zoom Meetings: 1. Go to https://zoom.us 2. Look in the upper right hand corner and find where it says... JOIN A MEETING, then double click. 3. You will be asked for a MEETING ID. Our meeting ID is... 9897790188. Please enter and double click, JOIN. 4. You will then need to install the Zoom software or click on Launch Application. Please follow all the instructions from Zoom. 5. Following installation, execute the software and open. 6. Or, there should be a Zoom Icon on your desktop. Double click. 7. Once you have double clicked the icon, this may take you right into the Zoom Online Meeting or you may have to reenter the MEETING ID. 8. Make sure your audio is unmuted and running through your computer.

4 Instructions For Zoom Meetings on cellular smart phones (Apple and Android) 1. Go to your app store. 2. Download Zoom 3. Select, Join A Meeting 4. For meeting ID, type in, 9897790188, and select JOIN. 5. You will now be connected. Other information: - Zoom can be used across all platforms, computers, tablets and smart phones. - You do not need to create a user account to be a part of a meeting, but you may want to. - If you are getting feedback from your speakers, you may need to turn the speakers down or your mic down. The best way to communicate without feedback is by using a headset with a microphone built in.

11. Dan Reiland’s recent leadership postings of February 9, 16, 21 & 27:

The 3-Point Process for Leadership Development – Dan Reiland Post February 9, 2017

Leadership development never takes place in a vacuum. It’s not a program or event-based. Leadership development always starts with a leader. Always. A leadership culture is an environment where leadership development thrives best. Creating that culture requires deliberate effort and long-term dedication. A leadership culture contains the elements of: Championing leadership. Teaching leadership. Practicing leadership. Coaching leadership. Rewarding leadership.

But let me say it again, leadership development always begins with a leader. Someone who will show the way and start. So, don’t worry about trying to build a leadership culture

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overnight, it takes years for that to truly become part of your culture. You don’t need all the elements at once, and it’s important to get started.

Candidly, you need to build the plane while you fly it. Start with these two concepts. 1. Simplicity 2. Consistency

Simplicity. If you don’t keep it simple, you’ll quit. There are far too many requirements in ministry that must happen. From writing the sermon to recruiting leaders for the nursery. There are no options for these things. So, when you are under pressure to cut something, you cut the things that don’t bite back. You cut the things you don’t have to do, like leadership development. Keep it simple, so you’ll stay with it even under pressure. Consistency. If you don’t remain consistent, you’ll quit, because you won’t get the results you want. We focus on a 7-day turn-around that measures the results every Sunday. This keeps us unaccustomed to the long play. You can’t microwave leadership development; it’s more of a crockpot kind of process. It takes a long time to see results. Development is different than equipping. I wrote about their differences in the previous post. (You can read it here.) With equipping you can see immediate results, but development takes time.

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Building a leadership culture is like building a plane while you fly it. So let me offer the place to start. It’s a simple plan for leadership development that works. I want to encourage you by saying I’ve practiced this for 29 years, and have shared it with thousands of pastors. You can trust this process. The Process: These three components make up the mechanics of a simple and organic plan. 1) Get a group. Invite a small number of sharpies to join in a group with you. This is a hand-picked, invite only group. This is not something you announce from the stage or put in the bulletin. Gather 5, 7, 9 — whatever seems like the right number to you. You can invite current leaders, potential leaders, staff, or volunteers, but select from among the best God has given you. I have always led both volunteer and staff groups. Plan to meet once a month for 1.5 hours. The group should last about 5-6 months but can go a little longer. It’s important that the group does not continue to meet indefinitely unless it’s a staff group. (You can have some of the same people jump in a different group in the future.) And of course, have some good coffee and snacks!! 2) Pick a book. You don’t need to write a leadership lesson for each time you meet. Remember, keep it simple. Authors invest hundreds of hours into writing their books. And there are so many great books on leadership for you to choose from. Pick one. If you don’t know where to start, I recommend John Maxwell’s The 5 Levels of Leadership. You can vary the plan as you like, but here’s the basic idea. Your group would cover one “level” of Maxwell’s book each month. That is your content. The group finishes in 5 months! Again, that doesn’t mean they can’t ever be in another group sometime. But don’t let the groups get stale by getting comfortable. This is not a traditional discipleship group; it’s a leadership development group. You could reconvene the same group, for example, the next year if that makes sense. A person might be in one group, or might be in three or four over time. There are so many options, keep it flexible, not a program to march through.

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3) Ask two questions. The two questions are: 1. What are you learning? 2. How are you applying what you are learning?

You will be tempted to write more questions, and that’s OK, but let me caution you just one more time. Keep it simple. It will amaze you how deep and rich the conversation will be with those two questions. It’s important to consistently direct the conversation toward (spiritual) leadership in the home, at work, and in the community. Church leadership will come up on its own naturally. The Power: These three components deliver the “power” that allows the process to become transformative in nature and truly produce life change. 1) A catalytic leader. Leadership development always starts with a leader. This is the person who can read the room and is less concerned with getting through the material than cultivating the spark in the huddle that allows the conversation to go where it needs to go, so it lands with impact. Leadership development always starts with a leader. 2) A hungry group. The people in the group must want to be there. This is absolutely essential. They don’t have to be there; they get to be there. They are hungry to learn, missing a meeting is not an option, and they are always prepared. 3) The presence of the Holy Spirit. This is the big difference maker. You intentionally invite the presence of God’s Spirit in such a way that everyone understands this is not just leadership, but spiritual leadership and the Holy Spirit is bringing wisdom and power for personal growth as a leader.

In 29 years, I’ve never seen this not work. Let me be more clear. If you have all three of these “power” elements in play, I personally have never seen it fail to produce incredible results. If, however, you remove just one of these three, it won’t work. I wish I had time to tell you hundreds of stories of the changed lives I’ve seen over the years, in hundreds of churches using this process for both staff and volunteers.

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Next to the favor of God, everything rises and falls on leadership, and this process will help you raise up more and better leaders!

Healthy Marriages = Healthy Staff – Dan Reiland post Feb. 16, 2017 Jim and Jerolyn Bogear are trusted friends, who have planted, led, and worked with churches, and now focus on raising up healthy relationships, marriages, and teams. Check out their website! As guest writers today, their post will offer you great practical thoughts and resources! Their book, Faith Legacy for Couples, is one of those great resources.

We all understand the tension between cultivating healthy relationships and producing expected results. These two are not mutually exclusive, but it does take great intentionality to experience great family and great work results simultaneously. Far too often, we default to results. Results matter. Patrick Lencioni writes about results as part of a healthy team. But these results and productivity clearly come from healthy people.

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Healthy relationships need to be a priority for church staff and leaders. Research, and our work through Legacy C3 in the local church as well as the corporate marketplace, confirm that if things are not going well at home, it clearly affects us at work. If your marriage is straining or your kids are struggling, or crisis hits your family, it directly affects all the areas of your life. Pressures at home are not compartmentalized; they directly affect all areas of our lives. We need to care for our own relationships, and for those we lead. Here’s a practical game plan for you: 1).Create an environment for honest conversations All healthy relationships, especially marriages, are based on open, honest and consistent communication. It’s amazing how much relational conflict can be resolved if people will just talk. But as you know, that’s not always easy, especially at work. The staff is often concerned about what others might think, or how the boss might respond. So, it’s important to create a professional environment that is a safe place for honest conversations. That means people don’t get labeled, cut off, gossiped about, or fired just because they open up about personal concerns. 2) Model the way. As the leader, talk openly about your marriage relationship. Share the practical things you do to keep your relationship fresh, alive and healthy. Give examples of what works for you such as a weekly date night, praying together, or favorite family traditions. Invite staff couples to your home for some hang time with you. Your time may be very limited for that, but what you can do will be worth the effort. Talk about struggles too. Obviously, maintain an appropriate level of discretion, but be honest about the tougher times. Let your staff know how you came through those times, perhaps you and your spouse saw a counselor for a season. The point is to make all this normal, not stuff that is part of ‘hushed hallway” conversations. 3) Coaching makes a difference.

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Coaching your team helps each person establish goals, take ownership, and be held accountable. Ask the right questions to help your leaders express and put into action their goals for their life as well as their work. Daniel Harkavy’s book, Becoming a Coaching Leader is a terrific resource to learn how to be a great coach. Recently a senior leader reached out asking for our time to coach the marriages of his staff. This leader stated, “I need this personally and want to be a student along with my team members. I want to not only provide this for the team, but for my wife and I too.” Coaching your team helps each person establish goals for their life as well as their work. 4) Invest in your staff relationships. Churches that experience the best and healthiest marriage relationships amongst their staff are those that invest in them. Here are a few good examples: Provide marriage counseling by paying for a set number of sessions by a professional and

licensed therapist. Provide childcare for a date night for your staff. Organize a couple’s retreat, or provide financially for a retreat or seminar your staff can

attend. Bring in a counselor or expert on the subject to talk with your staff. Create fun times for the family such as a Christmas party or staff picnic.

Great churches invest their staff’s relationships. Want a healthy, thriving church? Make sure your staff’s personal relationships are healthy and thriving.

How to Handle Interruptions – Dan Reiland post Feb 21, 2017

Interruptions can be frustrating. But as long as you’re in local church ministry, interruptions are not going away.

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If you are involved in the lives of people, and the real issues they deal with, interruptions will be part of your work. You can choose to fight that reality, or embrace it. The goal isn’t to pretend that interruptions don’t bring complexity to your schedule. They do! The goal is to learn how to best navigate interruptions, so your ministry has the greatest impact, and you continue to experience inner peace even on difficult days.

It’s important to focus on what you can control, and not get frustrated about the rest. You can’t control everything that happens to you, but you can control what is going on within you. You can manage your emotions which are the place to start. You can’t control everything that happens to you, but you can control what is going on within you Fighting against the natural flow of interruptions is like getting stressed about being stressed, it serves no valuable purpose. We know that too much stress is not good for us, but stressing about stress is completely counterproductive. It’s the same with interruptions. They produce complications to your schedule, and maybe even stress you out, but fighting it only makes it worse. Here’s a helpful approach:

1) Establish routine and margin. Intentional routines are not boring and confining, they are healthy and needed. They require discipline to maintain, and they help you establish healthy and productive rhythms for your life.

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For me, a weekly routine is not a legalistic straightjacket. In fact, it’s often interrupted and ends up changed. But the routine provides the necessary guardrails so I can make good decisions when interruptions come. I also believe that some margin helps make it all work. For example, I try not to book a full day on Thursdays until the week of. So when “stuff happens” every week like it always does, I have a place to put it. By the time Thursday hits, it’s usually full. But if I filled it weeks in advance, there is no place to help handle the interruptions, (and opportunities.) Intentional routines are healthy, needed, and require discipline to maintain. 2) Cultivate your generosity. An important part of governing your perspective involves how you think about the interruption. Because it nearly always involves a person, it’s important to possess an internal disposition that you want to help if you can, rather than seeing the person(s) as an inconvenience. One of the ways I cultivate a generous spirit within me is reminding myself how I feel when I want to see someone right away, and I don’t fit into their schedule. Whether it’s a plumber, doctor or a personal trainer, when they “make room” for me, I’m very grateful. 3) Lean into the moment. Never underestimate the potential life-changing impact of an interruption. One of my favorite stories (Mark 5:21-42) takes place after Jesus had just again crossed over to the other side of the lake. A large crowd gathered around Him. He was interrupted on the spot, in whatever He was doing. Jairus, a synagogue ruler, had a daughter that was dying. He pleaded with Jesus to go with him to heal his daughter, and Jesus goes with him. On the way to see Jairus’ daughter, Jesus is interrupted again. His interruption is interrupted! In the crowd of people, a woman (bleeding for 12 years) touched His garment, and Jesus stops to heal her. Jesus was aware (sensitive to divine interruptions) of even a sick woman touching his clothes, and took the time to identify who she was and say: “Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be free from your suffering.” (Matt 5:34)

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Wait for it… Yes, Jesus is interrupted yet again. (Verse 35, While he was still speaking!) Some men came from the house of Jairus, and reported: “Your daughter is dead.” And the end of the story… Jesus said, “Don’t be afraid; just believe.” And, “The child is not dead, but asleep. They laughed at Jesus. Jesus healed the little girl! When you are sensitive to divine interruptions and invite the Holy Spirit to guide you, you will likely experience some incredibly powerful ministry moments. Being sensitive to Divine Interruptions enables you to experience incredibly powerful ministry moments. 4) Sometimes you need to say no. Not every interruption is a divinely inspired moment. Sometimes you must say no. In fact, the larger the church, the more often you may need to say no. However, in many cases, you will have the staff to help you handle the interruptions. Here are some practical questions to help you think through how you should respond. Can someone else can handle the situation? Might you be doing this just to please someone? Would saying ‘yes’ prevent you from fulfilling an important family commitment? Is this a non-urgent, low impact request? Are your gifts and abilities not well suited to meet the need?

These questions do not represent a formula, but they give you a sense of how to think about the question.

None of us can eliminate interruptions, but we all can get better at how we handle them.

Churches Aren’t Christian Cruise Ships – Dan Reiland post Feb 27, 2017

Is it possible that your church isn’t a perfect fit for everyone? Everyone is welcome, but maybe another church might meet their particular needs better. That’s not an easily embraced thought. Can you say “no” to someone even if it potentially results in them leaving your church?

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Learning to balance the natural tension of loving and caring for people, but not allowing someone to leverage their personal agenda, or even hijack the purpose of your church is not easy.

This is a tough issue and requires artful leadership. As shepherds we hate to have even one person leave, but sometimes it’s OK. The church was never designed to be a Christian cruise ship. The church is not designed to please everyone. The kind of preaching or style of worship can’t make everyone happy. Your approach to student ministry won’t connect with every parent. Heck, your choice of coffee can make some people mad! The church does not exist to deliver all the programming its attendees can dream up. If we did everything we’ve been asked to do, we’d have dozens of programs from baseball leagues to classes in CPR.

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You can’t preach every sermon your congregation thinks you should preach. Sometimes you just need to say no. It’s all good and worthy stuff, but the church not only shouldn’t do all of it, but it also can’t. No one church can do everything. That is simply impossible. So what each church does must be carefully, strategically and prayerfully thought through. If your church did everything your attendees want, it would no longer be the church they love. Many of the things that your attendees request already exist somewhere in your community. Encourage your congregation to engage the community, and take Jesus with them! 3 principles to help you navigate these sensitive matters. 1) Love everyone, but cater to no one. Jesus served everyone the Father directed Him to serve. We are to do no less. But the Father never directed Jesus to serve everyone while He was here on earth. Jesus never let anyone derail Him from his purpose. One of the stories that illustrate this is in John Chapter 11. Mary and Martha’s brother, Lazarus was sick and dying. They pleaded with Jesus to come and heal him, but Jesus stayed where He was for two more days. I’m certain they didn’t understand in the moment. They were probably upset. Jesus loved Lazarus, Mary, and Martha, but He remained on purpose. The tension arises from the fact that people are the purpose of the church. But Jesus never demonstrated or communicated that His Kingdom purpose for the local church was to be surrendered to any single individual’s desires. Keep the larger mission in mind. 2) Know what God has called you to do and don’t back down. You can’t do everything, so do what you do well. Keep your list of ministries lean. Stick to the main thing – stick to what God has called you to do. Be strategic. Use resources wisely. Listen carefully to the prompts of the Holy Spirit. I’m convinced that God won’t give you more to do than you have time to do it in. So, if you have too much to do, maybe you are doing something God doesn’t need you to do. Pray till you know what God wants. God is not the author of confusion and division. If there is disagreement amongst leaders, keep praying and practice mutual voluntary submission. When you agree and are aligned in God’s purpose and plan for ministry, be bold. Don’t back down.

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I love the story in the book of Nehemiah when Sanballat and Geshem sent Nehemiah a message trying to get him to meet with them. Nehemiah responded that he was carrying on a great project and could not meet! He asked, “Why should the work stop and I go down to you?” They pressured him for a meeting four times, and each time Nehemiah did not back down. He would not be hijacked by someone else’s agenda. (Nehemiah 6:1-4) 3) Get comfortable with the idea that the Kingdom of God is bigger than your church. I used to take it personally when anyone left the church I love and serve. It still gets to me at times, but I’ve come to realize that the Kingdom of God is much bigger than my church. The message of Jesus Christ is for everyone, but your church isn’t everyone’s preference, and that’s OK. Your doors are open to everyone, of course. They are welcome, but you can’t meet the high diversity of needs and ministry required in the body of Christ. It’s natural to be disappointed if someone who has been with you for a long time leaves your church or if someone visits your church for a while and doesn’t stay. Don’t take it personally. In the same way that you on occasion must say no to someone, they can say no to you. If you try to please everyone, you’ll end up with a much smaller congregation than you will if you know who you are, know what you are called to do, and do that well. You can love and serve anyone, but you can’t please everyone. If a family leaves, love them well on the way out and let them know they are always welcome to return as Jesus directs them. People want confident leadership in a church that knows where it’s headed. Even if they don’t entirely agree with you. If you’re like me, you want to meet every need you can. And you’d like to accommodate requests. But there are times you need to say no to some requests, preferences, and demands. As a result, a few people may leave, but hold true to the purpose God has given you, and stay steady on the course.