Nonverbal Communication

&Innate PreferencesThe Science behind First Impressions, Flirting, & Seeking that Special Someone Subconsciously.

1st Impressions:90s -4minutes

As far as attraction goes, here's how we get the message:

80% is decided before initial conversation.55% is through body language.38% is the tone and speed of our voice.7% is through what we say.

The Five Primary Nonverbal Acts of Interest

The Flirting Triangle

Mirroring

Eyebrow Flash

Pointing

Blinking

Flirting Triangle

Businessmen: Our eyes travel from eye to eye across the bridge of the nose.

Friends: Our eyes travel from eye to eye and below to the nose.

Significant Others: Our eyes travel from eye to eye and further below to include the body.

Mirroring

…or Interactional Synchrony.Applies only to actions.Occurs only with positive or neutral actions.*Approximately 50s between mirroring movements.

*Males may focus on disliked when demonstrating dominance.

Eyebrow Flash

Upon viewing of an interest, our eyebrows rise and fall subconsciously.

Occurs in a 1/5th of a second.

“Flash” is returned if mutual interest is present, incurring a second subconscious response.

Perhaps the most universally recognized nonverbal sign of human greeting.

Pointing

Within social interactions we orient toward the one we are most interested in.

Action is unconscious and received unconsciously.

Pointing with arms, feet, legs, toes.

Blinking

Pupil size increases with interest along with blink rate, unconsciously.

If interest is mutual, recipient attempts to match blink rate as well, unconsciously.

Evolutionary Tactics

Playing Hard to Get

Signs

Providing Resources

Infatuation

Vicarious Lovers

Selective Difficulty

Or “Playing Hard to Get.”Theory that we seek those easy for us “to get” that are harder for others.Promiscuous v. Difficult v. TypicalAll male participants preferred Difficult woman.Research suggests doesn’t actually work.

“Signs”

52 documented nonverbal gestures

Women display proficiency in gesturing before men.

Gestures learned.

7.6 signs per hour per girl.

44.6 per hour per adult women.

Males receptive to awkward and skilled.

Providing Resources

The “Dinner Date”

Offering of resources most widespread form of enticing sexual favors.

“Courtship Feeding” common within nature.

Entices females to copulate either before or during exchange of resources.

Infatuation

Or “Love at First Sight”Inborn tendency in nature to spur the mating process.Evolved from attraction to sensation in early ancestors.Encourages women to claim a mate in a competitive environment.May endure for 2 years.

Vicarious Lovers

Or “Opposites Attract”Mating often between “opposites” an attempt to explore suppressed personality attributes.

Research accounts for such attraction by means of extended infatuation.

Many divorces occur at this 2 year mark.

Gender Specific M.O.s

Instrumental talk. (M)

Expressive talk. (F)

Territorialism. (M)

Submission. (F)

Body Prominence. (M/F)

Instrumental Talk (M)

Speech pattern based on factual, empirical discussion.

Often seen as an opportunity to display prowess or ability.

The “Handy Man.”

-Giving directions

-Repairing objects

Expressive Talk (F)

Speech pattern based on shows of support, understanding, and empathy. Meant to entice security (real or manipulative) and thereby encourage continued discussion / presence.The “Fawn”

-Overly complimentary-Exclamatory interjections

Territorialism (M)

Male practice of dominating space through broad body gestures or declarations.Shows resources / capability (strength).Males more likely to have a private space then females.

-The “Study” or garage-“Dad’s Chair”

Submission (F)

Female practice of displaying relaxed posture and general receptivity to touch.

Meant to entice attention.- The “Come Hither” pose- Openness to hugs between friends

whereas men shake hands.

Body Prominence (M/F)

Practice of displaying sexually confident areas of the body for viewing.Male practice of inflating the chest or flexing in order to draw admiration.Female practice of standing hips out and / or back erect in order to place pelvis / chest in dominant space.Female practice of “amplifying” clothing.

While several subconscious triggers exist, the final decision is up to us.