Nlp overall-(figure)
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Transcript of Nlp overall-(figure)
Three Skills
1 Outcome Knowing what you want
2 Acuity Notice what you are getting
3 Flexibility Keep changing what youare thinking and doing
Use with Integrity
Overview
Results thinking � outcomes
Relating to others � rapport
Improving performance � mental rehearsal
Managing emotions � resource states
Solving Problems � perceptual positions
Coaching � coaching process
Daily practice � learning diary
Support systems � coaching and practicegroups
NLP Overview
�What�s the difference thatmakes the difference?�
OutcomeEvidenceFlexibility
PurposeIdentityValuesCapabilityExpectations
Images VSelf-talk AFeelings K
RESULTS?
Reality= beliefs
Externalbehaviour
Thinkingprocess
Emotionalstate
ATTENTION
Know Do
Think Feel
Actions
1stSelf
2ndOther
3rdObserver
WordsVoice tone
Body language
Body language
Rapportand
Relationship
Feedback
NLPOperatingPrinciples
If you always do whatyou've always done,you'll always getwhat you've always got!
It's not what happens to you,but what you do with it thatdetermines your experience
There is no failure,only feedback
The map is notthe territory
There is a positiveintention behindall human behaviour
The meaning of yourcommunication isthe result you get
NLPOperating Principles
Learning Skills
If somebody can do a skill then,in principle, you can if:
� You believe you can
� You want to
� You know how to
You know how toif you can replicate the key
BehavioursThoughtsFeelingsBeliefs
The Stagesof Learning
ConsciousIncompetence
Uncomfortablemeans
ConsciousCompetence
X2X20X200
UnconsciousIncompetence
Unaware
UnconsciousCompetence
Skill automated
REPEAT
ApplyingYour Learning
1 Identify each main challenge,issue or problem
2 Take responsibility and identifymain outcome
3 Ask What could I do differently?
- new behaviour?- new thought?- new feeling?- new belief?
4 Imagine and mentally rehearsethe change
5 Repeat daily until using theseskills becomes automatic
Outcomes
ill formed well formed
? Negative Positivee.g. The problem is... �I have issues with a colleague�
What would you rather have?
What would be better than the problem ?
e.g. �I would like to have effective and positive communications with them�
Look for 100% congruence.
(recycle to 1st step and ask questions again,if necessary)
? Yes but Ecology(consequences)
If you could have it - would you take it?
? Out of control Own partIs it within your control?What can you do to achieve it?
2
Outcomescontinued
ill formed well formed
? Vague SpecificWhere and when do you want it?Could you visualise it?
? Unknown EvidenceHow would you know you had got it?What would you see, hear or feel?
? Out of control Own partIs it within your control?What can you do to achieve it?
OutcomesHints and Tips
If your colleague doesn�t know
the answer ask them:
1 To guess
2 Who they know that would know what to do and
What their answer would be
Be sure your colleaguestates what they want
not what they don�t want!
Rapportnon-verbal communication
Body Matching
� Head Movements� Eye Contact� Gestures� Posture� Legs� Breathing� Speed
Voice Matching
� Speed� Pitch� Tone� Volume
Use with verbal matching to:
� Notice rapport when things are going well
� Notice rapport when things are not going well
� Try using rapport skills in difficult situations
and notice the impact
�pace �pace �lead
Eye Accessing Cues
Visualc
Auditoryc
Kinesthetic(feelings)
Visualr
Auditoryr
Auditoryinternaldialogue
c constructedr recalled
Predicates
Visual
picturebrightfocuscolourhazyblankdimshine
Auditory
saysoundresonatetinklesingtoneloudclash
Kinesthetic
touchhandleroughsmoothgrasprubstickytickle
Neutral: think, understand, know
Submodalities
Visual
associated / disassociated
location
distance
brightness
etc ...
Auditory
volume
tone
location
distance
etc ...
Kinesthetic
(emotions and sensations)
location
extent
shape
pressure
temperature
movement
etc ...
Perceptual Positions
Practice moving round
these 3 positions frequently
and you will boost your own performance,
and others
3
Observer
objectiveposition
1
Own reality
yourexperience
2
Others reality
theirexperience
Dealing withDifficult People
1 Identify person and check ecology
2 Set up three positions
3 Adjectives for 1 and 2
4 In 1st what new beliefs, thoughts and feelings?In 3rd what s main new difference?
5 In 2nd what new beliefs, thoughts and feelings?In 3rd what s main new difference?
6 Now ask What could you do differently?(If stuck, ask Who do you know that couldhandle this well?How would they deal with it? )
Pick the Best Option .In 3rd, then 1st, imagine doing this new optionand fine tune it.
3
1 2
Mental Rehearsal
Rough sketch
1 Imagine watching a videoof your desired behaviour from 3rd position
2 Edit your video
Fine tuning
3 Step into your picture andtry on the behaviour in1st position
4 Fine tune until optimised
Automatic reminder
5 Find the signal which letsyou know it s time to usethe new behaviour
Managingyour Emotions
� Emotional resilience is acritical success factor
� Stress is caused by repeatednegative emotional states
� Learn to stay aware of variationsin your state.
� Negative emotions serve toattract your attention to
what you can do differently
earn to maintain positive
states by using
resource states at will
Resource Statesat Will
1 Identify difficult situations
2 Identify positive emotional resource and best reference experience of it
3 See, hear, and feel the reference experience until you know the peak of the state
4 Choose an Anchor (a trigger).Either V, A or K
5 Revisit the reference experience and do the Anchor just before thePeak of the state
6 Switch attention, repeat 5, then testthe Anchor on its own
7 Imagine using the Anchor inreal-life situations
Resource Statesat Will
trigger state
VAK
practise
time
inte
nsi
ty o
f st
ate
Anchor state herePeak of
state
Accessing PositiveEmotional Resources
� Collect positive states by anchoring themas they occur
� Imagine using them in the situationsyou want them
� Always find the positive intention of anynegative emotion
� You can anchor states separately or,all together
- Stacked Anchors , or,in sequence - Chained Anchors .
Simple Belief Change
1 Identify your limiting belief as a one liner
2 Imagine putting the belief behind you say,I used to believe
3 Ask What would it be more empoweringto believe?
- get positive and identify 3 better options- pick the best
4 Imagine clearly what it is like believingthis option.
- notice how it feels different.- notice the biggest advantage of this
new belief
5 Imagine a typical 24 hrs with this new belief- if there are problems, reword belief to suit
6 What will be the very first bit of evidence that this belief is just starting
Coaching Process
� The purpose of coaching is to help the colleague to resolve their own issues and improve their results
� Agree time of session
� Coach takes colleague through as many stages as appropriate, with recycling as necessary.
N.B. Stay out of content!
1 Establish rapport
2 Clarify the key problem or issue
3 Establish a well-formed outcome
4 Explore what would make a difference
5 Test it with a mental rehearsal
6 Re-cycle if necessary
Coaching Questions
1 To startWhat would be the most
useful thing to explore?
2 To clarify �problem�How is that a problem for
you?
What is the heart of theissue?
3 Use well-formedness questionsfor outcome
4 To explore whatwould make adifferenceWhat stops you fromoutcome ?
What would have tohappen for you tooutcome ?
Only if stuck ask:
Who do you know whocould outcome ?
What would they dodifferently?
What changewould makethe biggestdifference?
Listen for:
5 To test itCan you imagine yourself
doing that?
What difference does itmake?
6 To re-cycleWhich is the most useful
step to go back to?
Belief Behaviour
Thought Feeling
Quality Questions
The quality of the questions you ask determinesthe quality of the results you get
Practise this strategy for generating key questions
1 Be creative, ask yourselfWhich question would make the most useful
difference to this stage of communication?
2 Be specificKnow exactly what your outcome is in askingthis questionAnd how you will know you ve got it
3 Ask the question and notice the resultwhich determines
Remember to pace what they have said beforeleading with your question
Learning Diary
Diary — Reflections
What s been significant?
Learning Log
What would I have done differently?
Personal Development Outcomes
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
To Do Outcomes
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
Last 24 hours
Next 24 hours
Support Systems
Make the difference between
Developing your skills and producing moreof the results you want
Or not!
Skills — use them or lose them!
� Core values, life purpose, life planning
� The learning question + mental rehearsal
� Daily learning diary
� Daily meditation, relaxation, reflection downtime
� Weekly practice group or coaching
� Everything else, nutrition, exercise, friends, therapies, books, tapes, courses, etc.to support and feed your mind
Life Planning
Around Core Values and Life PurposeWrite key outcomes and issues in each box
3 Time Frames
7 L
ife
Are
as
Modelling
3 BASIC QUESTIONS
EMOTIONAL STATE
What emotional state are you in/do you need
when you do this?
BELIEFS
What beliefs do you have that enable you
to do this?
BEHAVIOURS
What do you do to achieve this?
ElicitingKey Criteria
What is important to you about...?
What else...?
Which of these is most important?
Dilts:Logical Levels
ENVIRONMENTWhere / what environment?
BEHAVIOURSWhat behaviours?
CAPABILITIESWhat Skills?
BELIEFS AND VALUESWhat is important? What do I / we believe?
IDENTITYWho am I / are we?
MISSIONThe overall purpose?
Generalisations
1 - THE �CAN�TS�What is stopping you?OrWhat needs to happen for you to be able to
2 - THE �MUSTS/MUSTN�TS�What would happen if you did/didn’tWhat wouldn’t happen if you did/didn’t
3 - THE �ALWAYS/NEVERS�What always?OrHas there not been one occasion on whichyou have ..?
Reframing
CONTEXT REFRAME: Changing the time orthe place in order to create a differentunderstanding.
Where or when would thebehaviour/attitude etc. be useful?
CONTENT REFRAME: Changing the view ofthe subject matter to create a differentunderstanding.
What else might thisbehaviour/attitude/information mean?
Feedback
A Process:
1 - Start with a positive, specific comment:
�I particularly liked ...�
2 - Make an improvement point[something that can be achieved!]
�You might benefit by doing xmore / less / differently�
3 - Finish with a general, personal positive:
�I truly appreciate you / your ...�
Strategy fordealing with Criticism
1 - Remember the situation
2 - Notice or move to�observer� position
3 - Re-create the scene
4 - Decide how you wouldlike to respond
5 - Watch yourselfresponding �appropriately�
6 - Imagine a future situation
Circle of Excellence
1 Relive and build a confident experience
2 Create a Circle around your feet
3 Step out and leave the feelings
4 Select where and when you want those feelings
5 Imagine stepping into the circle in those future situations
6 Check after stepping out and just imagine those situations
AccessingPositive StatesAccessing a positive state is theprocess to which we link specific
stimuli to specific responses.
This allows you to anchor a specificstimulus which when applied
(triggered) elicits a specific response.
S.C.O.R.E.
SymptomsThese are the most noticeable aspects of aproblem.What are the presenting symptoms?
CausesThese are the elements that create and maintainthe symptoms. What are the causes?
OutcomeThis is the desired goal.What do you/we want?
ResourcesThese are the elements that create and maintainthe outcomes.What resources do you/we need?
EffectsThese are the results or responses to theachievement of a specific outcome. What will be the results?