NLP - Mind Transformations · NLP stands for Neuro-Linguistic Programming. NLP is a technology for...

2NLP in a Daywww.mindtransformations.com

NLP IN A DAY

Practical NLP applicationsto improve the quality of your life

NLP in a Day 3www.mindtransformations.com

This book is our expression of gratitude towards our NLP graduates, who have pushed the envelope in many ways in applying NLP, to bring about new improvements in their lives. Inspired by their stories, we have taken the steps to create this book.

Do take note that the stories in this book are purely fictional, and bear no resemblance to the personal life of any individual. This book is solely for educational purposes.

We hope that by sharing this book with you, you will be inspired to see new possibilities, and how much influence you have over the results in your life.

About this book


NLP stands for Neuro-Linguistic Programming.

NLP is a technology for human change derived from decades of research studying the excellence

of successful people.

In plain language, NLP is the study of how we think, what drives our motivation, and how we can condition ourselves for peak performance.

By simplifying these studies into models, structures and techniques, NLP helps people and organizations take their competencies and capabilities to a whole new level, as well as achieve win-win results.

What is NLP?


This book chronicles a day in her life and the new habits she is cultivating from her takeaways in NLP.

For Adeline, NLP is useful and meaningful as it enables her to be proactive.

When she holds the belief that she has choices over her thoughts and actions, she wields more influence over the outcomes she seeks in the various experiences in her life.

Meet Adeline


Understanding the wisdom that proactiveness begins with a thought, Adeline starts her day by tuning her inner compass.

Proactive livingStart the day by setting your inner compass


Intention SettingAn intention statement, phrased in the present, implies speaking as if the intention had already manifested itself and, by feeling congruent with the said words, doing what one can in order to fulfill one’s thoughts. One is congruent when every fiber of one’s being is in agreement.

You can set an intention by asking yourself the following questions:

- What are the qualities I want to embody today? - What will I commit myself to doing today, to embody these qualities?

For example:“I want to be open to learning new things from the people I meet.”or“I am committed to listening to people with an open mind, and to asking them questions to get to know them better.

As you set the intention for the day, remember to be congruent, mind and body: match your posture to the words you utter and their meaning.

In a simple process called intention setting, Adeline determines how she wants to go through the day, without getting too caught up in her goals, because she knows that when her actions are well-aligned, everything she does will naturally pace her closer to where she wants to be.

“Today, my intention is to be proactive; I want to see that I have the power to choose my actions.”

Throughout the day, she checks on herself, on the way she is upholding her intention, and she adjusts her actions if and when she has to.

7


Driving used to give Adeline a lot of stress. Weekday mornings’ rush hour traffic, simply got on her nerves.

But Adeline has decided to be different today. She is now aware that she can choose how to respond to this situation. When someone gets in her way, she pauses, takes a deep breath and starts thinking differently. She considers this a good training to master her emotions. She cannot control what other people choose to do, but she can control how she chooses to feel about it.

She leaves home 10 minutes earlier than usual, so that she doesn’t have to rush to work.

When she takes her time to drive, the drive actually becomes enjoyable. It frees her from carrying any negative emotions to her workplace.

PauseWhen you “pause”, you allow yourself a few seconds to engage your logical brain, and decide on a better response than simply reacting to the situation.

How to prevent an “emotional hijack”


Adeline is the Marketing Manager of her company. Holding meetings and presentations are things she does on a regular basis.

In the past, she would get butterflies in her stomach whenever she had to speak in front of a group.

But having learnt NLP, she now has more control over her emotional states and can choose the ones that support her in delivering a presentation.

Adeline spends 3 quiet minutes managing her state. She relaxes her shoulders and pays attention to her breathing. This helps her center herself and feel more at ease. As she recalls that she had done all the necessary preparation, she knows that she can trust herself to present her points clearly.

She closes her eyes and mentally runs through the points she intends to cover in the presentation. It gives her a general framework of how she would run the presentation, instead of diving into it without preparation.

State Management Our emotional state is often a better predictor of our performance than our skill sets. This explains how some people stutter or forget their well-prepared talk when they need to speak in front of a crowd. Through NLP’s state management techniques, one learns to get in touch with one’s resourceful emotional states, and learn how to hold the state during an important performance.

Overcoming anxiety before a presentation


One thing Adeline realized about meetings is that each participant comes in with their different “baggages”.

At the start of a meeting, there are often individuals who are only physically present in the meeting room, and Adeline would have a hard time keeping everyone’s attention and getting them onto the same page.

Through NLP, Adeline gained the empowering belief that “there are no resistant clients, only inflexible communicators”. It is up to her how she frames the meeting to help people focus and meet its outcome.

Addressing communication gaps


An example of a preframe she often uses is:“The purpose of this meeting is to plan the marketing campaign for our next book. Let’s be focused on this purpose, and at the end we will decide on a few actions to be taken to implement this plan. I estimate we will finish this meeting in less than 45 minutes.”

NLP CommunicationThe NLP presupposition “there are no resistant clients, only inflexible communicators” explains that it is the responsibility of the communicator to effectively get his message across to the listener.

Using a preframe, which is a statement that tells people what is coming, one begins the conversation with a positive end in mind. It helps people understand the relevance of the conversation and what to look out for.


From NLP, Adeline has also gained the understanding that people prefer to represent information differently.

There are predominantly 4 types of people:

1. Visual:

They store their memories in the form of mental images. They usually speak fast because they are trying to keep up with the images flashing through their minds.

2. Auditory:

They are sensitive to sounds and usually have a nice voice. They are also good at sequencing information.

Communicating with flexibility

13NLP in a Daywww.mindtransformations.com NLP in a Day

3. Kinesthetic:

They process information with their feelings. They learn more easily when they get a hands-on experience.

4. Self-talk:

They are the masters of analysis. They like to read or write their own notes in order to map out the details in their head.

To increase her flexibility in getting her message across, Adeline uses in her presentation an intelligent mix of visual presentation slides, clear auditory instructions, handouts for people who prefer to have notes, as well as a set of actions at the end of the meeting to help the team make progress.

Representational SystemsOur preferred representational system is the system that determines how we represent information in our brains. It translates into our different styles of communication and learning. The understanding that we represent information differently from others gives us more flexibility in getting our message across to them.

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In a meeting setting, when you have complex information to present, and there are controversial opinions, people can be skeptical and it is hard to gain a buy-in.

Adeline knows that she needs people to understand where she is coming from, and bring everyone on the same page before being able to flip to the next one.

In NLP, this is called pacing and leading. She patiently explains the current situation that everyone is familiar with, breaking it down into key bullet points, and then she leads the group with her suggestion for each problem.

Pacing & leadingThe art of overcoming skepticism


Adeline is aware that her point of view may not be the only answer, so she asks for feedback from the group so that they can achieve a more effective and ecological solution that everyone can benefit from.

The more participation there is in the room, the more perspectives and options are available to reach a beneficial outcome.

Pacing & LeadingIf a child is taught algebra when he has not yet gone through basic arithmetic, not only would he struggle with mathematics, but he would most likely drop off the subject very quickly. We need to start teaching from the basics, such as counting, giving relevant examples, and then slowly familiarizing him with more complex concepts.

This is a classic example of pacing and leading, whereby we first ensure that the other party understands us, then guide them to more important information that we wish to share.


Adeline has an appointment to have lunch with one of her buddies, Jason.

Understanding the wisdom that the mind and body are one, she consciously chooses what she eats for lunch.

She avoids mixing meat protein with carbohydrates, so that she doesn’t feel lethargic after the meal due to the reaction the food causes in her body.

Maintaining mental sharpness after lunch


“The mind & body are one.”This NLP presupposition simply states that what we do with our body affects our mind and vice versa.

Therefore, the food that we put in our body during lunch has a direct impact on our energy level after lunch.

This can be explained with Dr Howard Hay’s research on food combinations, in which he talks about not mixing proteins and carbohydrates in the same meal.

The science behind this is simply explained as: proteins (all meats & dairy) need an acid environment to be digested properly, while carbohydrates like rice, potatoes, noodles, bread etc require an alkaline environment. Combining proteins and carbohydrates neutralizes the ideal environment for both foods to be digested properly and therefore be absorbed by the body.

Here is a simple example of a good food combination practice:

• Morning: Fruits of your choice (banana, papaya or a veggie smoothie - no milk!).

• Afternoon: Noodles or brown rice with any vegetables, mushrooms, beans & grains (avoid drinking water; if you must, drink warm water instead of cold). Or full-grain bread with salad in simple vinaigrette or lemon-soya sauce dressing (avoid creamy or milky dressings).

• Evening: Grilled or pan-fried chicken with mushrooms and lots of vegetables (avoid starchy food e.g. rice, potatoes, yams & squash). Avoid fats, as they inhibit the secretion of digestive juices.

You may find more information about food combinations in Barney Wee’s article here, or in Harvey and Marilyn Diamond’s “Fit for Life” and Jan Dries’ “The Complete Book of Food Combining”.

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How to stop blaming & start forgiving

“Behind every behaviour is a positive intention.”This NLP presupposition is a good guideline for us to understand that every single person is trying to achieve something good with what they do. While we may not necessarily agree with their behavior per se, our ability to see their positive intention – positive intention for themselves - helps us to see things from a different angle, and hence, increase our ability to stay calm and choose to act differently.

Jason looks a little frustrated today. He has been complaining about this problem with his father, who had been resistant towards Jason’s idea of starting his own business.

Jason cannot understand why his father still treats him like a baby even though he is already in his thirties. All he wants is to follow his heart and do something that he really loves.

Slowly eating her lunch, Adeline offers her listening ears to let Jason voice out his frustrations. She patiently waits until Jason is done before asking him a question.

Adeline: “Jason, can there be a positive intention behind your father’s disapproval? “

Jason: “I don’t know… maybe he just doesn’t want to see me fail. When we were younger, my father failed two businesses that cost us our first house. It was the lowest point in his life, and I guess maybe he just doesn’t want to see me follow his footsteps.”

Adeline: “Hmm…”(She nods her head, giving Jason more space to express

his thoughts.)

Jason: “I guess it is one of his ways of loving me, of wanting me to have a better life than him.”


They chat on, with Jason slowly feeling less of this emotional baggage he has been carrying. When he sees the positive intention behind his father’s behavior, he better understands what his father wants.

Adeline shares with Jason about making ecological changes: by which a person moves towards his goal without affecting the other stakeholders in his life.

Jason understands that even if his business venture succeeds, he will not be happy if the tension between him and his father persists.

Jason will talk to his father to gain mutual understanding. He is determined to share his plans with his father and explain to him how he will handle

possible contingencies. If they are both involved in working out the concerns, they can gain better rapport and stronger father-son bonding.

Ecological mindsets

EcologyNLP focuses on maintaining ecology, which is the wisdom of seeing how our actions are affecting other things and people around us. The more ecological our actions are, the more we are able to sustain them and enjoy the benefits we want from them .

The key to sustainable results & relationships


One of Adeline’s subordinates, Eugene is having some difficulty in delivering his work on time.

In the past, she would have mentally labelled Eugene as incompetent, jumping to the conclusion that Eugene was lazy or irresponsible.

But now that she knows that since “her map is not the territory”, her understanding of Eugene’s situation may limited, so it will be useful to get his side of the story.

Adeline also knows that as Eugene’s manager, she has some influence over his performance.

“The map is not the territory”

“The map is not the territory” is a commonly used NLP presupposition, which is a guideline for us to be open, to understand that what we know is not the absolute truth out there. When we are open and willing to see other people’s maps of the world, we increase our capacity to tap into multiple perspectives and hence, have better ability to make sustainable, ecological decisions.


Eugene is mostly quiet at the meeting. He only replies briefly, and keeps his arms crossed most of the time.

Seeing that they are not making much progress and having learnt from NLP that if she isn’t getting what she wanted, she will change the way she goes about doing it, she sits down beside him and lowers her voice.

Adeline: “Eugene, I want you to know that I am not here to judge you on your performance. I know that we all make the best choices at any given point in time and so did you when you were managing your duties. You have been a good performer in the past, and therefore I’m sure there is a reason why you are not doing as well as before. If there is

something you are struggling with, you can discuss it with me; I want to understand your situation.”

Eugene: “I’m sorry that I didn’t talk to you about this. My son is sick, and I’ve been running in and out of the hospital. As hard as I tried, this situation is making it difficult for me to concentrate on my work. Please give me some time and I’ll try to do better.”

Adeline is happy that her change of strategy has allowed Eugene to open up to her. Now she has enough clarity over the situation to be able to help him.

Stop judging & start building rapport

“People make the best choices at any given time” is a pillar of NLP that frees one from judging and placing blame on self or others; looking back from the present time at a decision made in the past, it may not seem like the best choice, but at that point in time, it was. Had there been a better option, one would have taken it. NLP helps people expand their range of choices and thus gain flexibility in their behaviours.


Eugene decides to ask Adeline to help him manage his responsibilities better.

Adeline’s NLP experience enables her to share with him about the concept of time, and why some people can achieve things in a certain amount of time, while others don’t.

“If we don’t manage our priorities, time is taken away from us and there is not much left for the things that are truly important. If you want to steer your life in the direction your want, consider prioritizing”, she said,

maintaining the rapport they have built so far.

Adeline tells Eugene about the types of activities (important and urgent, important but not urgent, not important but urgent and not important and not urgent – as per Steven Covey’s time management matrix) that take up our time, and Eugene finds it helpful to start prioritizing his tasks according to this system.

They then discuss one of Eugene’s work goals that he hasn’t yet achieved. With the skill sets and tools Adeline has now, they can jot down the specific steps he needs to take towards this goal. Adeline makes sure that all the conditions for setting useful outcomes are met before Eugene can take action.

Defining & achieving your goals

Goal SettingNLP provides a technique for creating and maintaining an outcome that meets certain essential conditions. A well formed outcome is crucial if one wants to progress from theoretically wanting something, to being able and knowing how to get it. Some of the criteria that must be met for this are: the goal must be positively stated (e.g. I want to sell 4 cars by 5th July), contextualized (when and where do I want this goal manifested?), self-maintainable (what capabilities do I have that support me in achieving this goal?), worthwhile (what will achieving this goal do for me?) and so on.

http://www.orgcoach.net/timematrix.html

http://www.orgcoach.net/timematrix.html


Adeline’s personal goal is to be healthy. She needs to shed off a few pounds to maintain a healthy Body Mass Index (BMI).

Typically, many people trying to lose weight repeat the phrase “I don’t want to be fat”. They are seemingly looking for ways to confirm that they are not fat, but the focus is on “fat”.

What would be more useful is to identify the target they want to work towards, and devise the self-maintainable steps to achieve it.

Adeline is clear that her target weight is 52kg. The gap she has to work on is 5kg, and she has made plans on how to reach that.

Whatever we focus on, expands. Therefore, Adeline chooses to think about she wants, rather than what she doesn’t want.

Stop saying “I don’t want to be fat”

Where’s your Focus?So when we focus on what we don’t want, we are actually focusing on the negative outcome. Instead, we should constantly look for what we want, and build our actions around fulfilling that outcome.


One of her self-maintainable steps towards 52kg is to run a marathon. For that reason, she is increasing her training intensity on a weekly basis, to boost her confidence of achieving her goal. She knows that every training session will help her move towards this goal.

Before her weekly run, she does a simple visualization to improve her performance.

First, she asks herself a straightforward question: “What do I want to achieve this week?”

She takes her answers and turns them into very detailed visualizations; she sees herself performing the action.

Next, she imagines herself doing it - feeling what she would feel when she is actually running - so that it feels real and realistic to her.

This visualization process helps her assess the feasibility of her goal, as well as mentally prepare herself to take the actions to get there. It strengthens her self-motivation and increases the focus on her goal.

Powerful mental rehearsals

VisualizationVisualization is a powerful tool that prepares one for success; it helps one identify and overcome personal challenges; it makes the progress to achievement so real that one is able not only see it in the mind’s eye, but also feel it, hear it or smell it. It works because the human brain cannot tell the difference between what is real and what is imagined.


After a long day, Adeline settles comfortably onto the couch with her iPhone, but she can’t help but notice that her kids are trying to grab her attention.

In the past, she would be frustrated by their rowdiness, and would try to dismiss them by sending them off to do their homework.

We cannot not communicateWhether you know it or not, you are influencing the people around you.


But today, Adeline sees things differently. She understands that “there is a positive intention behind every behavior” and “people cannot not influence each other”.

Adeline realizes that her kids just want to bond with her. It is their simple way of expressing their love for their mother, and wanting to be loved in return.

So she puts aside her iPhone and starts interacting with them, enjoying their laughter, innocence and lovability.

“People cannot not influence each other” is an NLP presupposition which means that people interact through loops of feedback, i.e. a person will be affected by the results that their own actions make on others.


As Adeline slowly slides into her bed, she smiles, imagining that her hands are clapping from within, from inside her heart.

She has had a great day. She knows that she didn’t need to be perfect. She did the best she could, and she acknowledges herself for choosing to be proactive. She knows just how important the way we talk to ourselves is, so she refines the tone of her voice to be congruent with the acknowledgment.

With more awareness of every choice she makes, she is

more responsible for her actions.

Life is such a great teacher; she will take all the wonderful things she has learnt today, to create a better day tomorrow.

Adeline is grateful for what NLP has taught her. When she is proactive, she becomes a thermostat in her life, controlling her own temperature, rather than letting the weather outside decide it for her.

Appreciating the person closest to you

Self-AcknowledgementSelf-acknowledgment is crucial towards our personal growth. It directs our focus to the “glass half full” as opposed to the “glass half empty”. It also helps build our abilities to depend on ourselves and focus on the milestones towards our goal. It is also a means of creating rapport with ourselves, as WE are at the centre of our lives; when we are well, we can better influence the things and people around us, and ultimately the world.


Change starts with self-awareness.

Having no awareness is like a fish swimming in water, not knowing that it is surrounded by water.

One cannot change what he is not aware of.

Admitting to where we stand is an act of courage. It is choosing to see, rather than living a life pretending that we don’t have any problems.

Awareness is a choice


Now that you have read about some of the applications of NLP our graduates have been practicing in their lives, and if you liked this book, you’d be amazed at the abundance of things NLP can teach you; for example:

• Seeing the unproductive habits you have been repeating in your life, and learning to overcome them

• Summoning positive emotions such as courage and calmness, and learning how to gain control over negative emotions like anger, guilt and depression

• Asking better questions that help you and other people uncover the answers within themselves

• Communicating with different types of people

• Doing a mental rehearsal for a presentation or interview

Here are more resources you can use to learn about NLP:

• Preview of our NLP course

• NLP articles section

• Video interview series with Mr Barney Wee, Founder and Principal Trainer of Mind Transformations

More resources on NLP

NLP is not just a tool or technique;it is an attitude,

& a way of living.






Mind Transformations is a company dedicated to help people and organizations connect their visions of a better world to their strengths and vocations - through

our training, coaching and consulting work, built from strong emphasis on Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), Enneagram Personality Profiling and other cutting edge mind technologies.

We believe the keys to successful training include experiential and whole-brain integrated learning. We primarily focus on three connecting concepts - “Brain Friendly”, “Hands-On” and “How To Do It”, so that clients fully integrate learning and success in their careers and every facet of their life.

Our Principal TrainersBarney Wee | Agnes Lau

The Mind Transformations DifferenceOur 7 key value propositions

Our Vision

“Building a world where people liveto contribute their best.”

Our Mission

“Realizing our future today”

To help people & organisations connect their visions of a better world to their strengths & vocations.

To develop and translate complex scientific disciplines into user-friendly frameworks, tools & skill sets that anyone or any organisation can use to achieve far reaching results.

To support peace & green initiatives.

About Mind Transformations

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...to you for making time to read this book from the people who have put this book together:

Alfred ChungAshelyn LeeBarney WeeFlavia Pal

Joseph Ch’ngKua Jieting

A big THANK YOU...

Go!

Start cultivating a proactiveway of living.

Step up and be the change you want to see in your life.

Copyright © Mind Transformations Pte Ltd, 2012

NLP - Mind Transformations · NLP stands for Neuro-Linguistic Programming. NLP is a technology for...

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