NicholasNicklebyVol.II

ByCharlesDickens

NicholasNickleby

CHAPTER23

TreatsoftheCompanyofMrVincentCrummles,andofhisAffairs,DomesticandTheatrical

AsMrCrummleshadastrangefourleggedanimalintheinnstables,whichhecalled a pony, and a vehicle of unknowndesign, onwhich he bestowed theappellationofafourwheeledphaeton,Nicholasproceededonhisjourneynextmorning with greater ease than he had expected: the manager and himselfoccupyingthefrontseat:andtheMasterCrummlesesandSmikebeingpackedtogether behind, in companywith a wicker basket defended fromwet by astout oilskin, in which were the broadswords, pistols, pigtails, nauticalcostumes, and other professional necessaries of the aforesaid younggentlemen.

The pony took his time upon the road, andpossibly in consequence of histheatrical educationevinced, every now and then, a strong inclination to liedown.However,MrVincentCrummleskepthimupprettywell,byjerkingtherein,andplyingthewhip;andwhenthesemeansfailed,andtheanimalcame

toastand,theelderMasterCrummlesgotoutandkickedhim.Bydintoftheseencouragements, he was persuaded to move from time to time, and theyjoggedon(asMrCrummlestrulyobserved)verycomfortablyforallparties.

'He'sagoodponyatbottom,'saidMrCrummles,turningtoNicholas.

Hemighthavebeenatbottom,buthecertainlywasnotattop,seeingthathiscoat was of the roughest and most illfavoured kind. So, Nicholas merelyobservedthatheshouldn'twonderifhewas.

'Manyandmanyisthecircuitthisponyhasgone,'saidMrCrummles,flickinghimskilfullyontheeyelidforoldacquaintance'sake. 'Heisquiteoneofus.Hismotherwasonthestage.'

'Wasshe?'rejoinedNicholas.

'Sheateapplepieatacircusforupwardsoffourteenyears,'saidthemanager;'fired pistols, and went to bed in a nightcap; and, in short, took the lowcomedyentirely.Hisfatherwasadancer.'

'Washeatalldistinguished?'

'Notvery,'saidthemanager.'Hewasratheralowsortofpony.Thefactis,hehadbeenoriginallyjobbedoutbytheday,andheneverquitegotoverhisoldhabits.Hewas clever inmelodrama too, but too broadtoo broad.When themotherdied,hetooktheportwinebusiness.'

'Theportwinebusiness!'criedNicholas.

'Drinkingportwinewiththeclown,'saidthemanager;'buthewasgreedy,andonenightbitoff thebowlof theglass, andchokedhimself, sohisvulgaritywasthedeathofhimatlast.'

ThedescendantofthisillstarredanimalrequiringincreasedattentionfromMrCrummlesasheprogressed inhisday'swork, thatgentlemanhadvery littletime for conversation. Nicholas was thus left at leisure to entertain himselfwith his own thoughts, until they arrived at the drawbridge at Portsmouth,whenMrCrummlespulledup.

'We'llgetdownhere,'saidthemanager, 'andtheboyswilltakehimroundtothestable,andcallatmylodgingswiththeluggage.Youhadbetterletyoursbetakenthere,forthepresent.'

ThankingMrVincentCrummlesforhisobligingoffer,Nicholasjumpedout,and,givingSmikehisarm,accompaniedthemanagerupHighStreetontheirwaytothetheatre;feelingnervousanduncomfortableenoughattheprospectofanimmediateintroductiontoascenesonewtohim.

They passed a great many bills, pasted against the walls and displayed inwindows, wherein the names of Mr Vincent Crummles, Mrs VincentCrummles,MasterCrummles,MasterP.Crummles,andMissCrummles,wereprinted in very large letters, and everything else in very small ones; and,turningatlengthintoanentry,inwhichwasastrongsmelloforangepeelandlampoil, with an undercurrent of sawdust, groped their way through a darkpassage, and, descending a step or two, threaded a little maze of canvasscreensandpaintpots,andemergeduponthestageofthePortsmouthTheatre.

'Hereweare,'saidMrCrummles.

Itwasnotverylight,butNicholasfoundhimselfclosetothefirstentranceonthe prompt side, among barewalls, dusty scenes,mildewed clouds, heavilydaubeddraperies, anddirty floors.He lookedabouthim; ceiling,pit, boxes,gallery, orchestra, fittings, and decorations of every kind,all looked coarse,cold,gloomy,andwretched.

'Isthisatheatre?'whisperedSmike,inamazement;'Ithoughtitwasablazeoflightandfinery.'

'Why, so it is,' replied Nicholas, hardly less surprised; 'but not by day,Smikenotbyday.'

The manager's voice recalled him from a more careful inspection of thebuilding,totheoppositesideoftheproscenium,where,atasmallmahoganytable with rickety legs and of an oblong shape, sat a stout, portly female,apparentlybetweenfortyandfifty, ina tarnishedsilkcloak,withherbonnetdangling by the strings in her hand, and her hair (ofwhich she had a greatquantity)braidedinalargefestoonovereachtemple.

'Mr Johnson,' said the manager (for Nicholas had given the name whichNewman Noggs had bestowed upon him in his conversation with MrsKenwigs),'letmeintroduceMrsVincentCrummles.'

'Iamgladtoseeyou,sir,'saidMrsVincentCrummles,inasepulchralvoice.'Iam very glad to see you, and still more happy to hail you as a promisingmemberofourcorps.'

TheladyshookNicholasbythehandassheaddressedhimintheseterms;hesaw itwas a largeone,buthadnot expectedquite suchan irongrip as thatwithwhichshehonouredhim.

'Andthis,'saidthelady,crossingtoSmike,astragicactressescrosswhentheyobeyastagedirection,'andthisistheother.Youtoo,arewelcome,sir.'

'He'lldo,Ithink,mydear?'saidthemanager,takingapinchofsnuff.

'Heisadmirable,'repliedthelady.'Anacquisitionindeed.'

AsMrsVincentCrummlesrecrossedbacktothetable,thereboundedontothestagefromsomemysteriousinlet,alittlegirlinadirtywhitefrockwithtucksup to the knees, short trousers, sandaled shoes, white spencer, pink gauzebonnet,greenveilandcurlpapers;whoturnedapirouette,cuttwiceintheair,turned another pirouette, then, looking off at the opposite wing, shrieked,boundedforwardtowithinsixinchesofthefootlights,andfellintoabeautifulattitudeofterror,asashabbygentlemaninanoldpairofbuffslipperscameinat one powerful slide, and chattering his teeth, fiercely brandished awalkingstick.

'They are going through the Indian Savage and the Maiden,' said MrsCrummles.

'Oh!'saidthemanager,'thelittleballetinterlude.Verygood,goon.Alittlethisway,ifyouplease,MrJohnson.That'lldo.Now!'

The manager clapped his hands as a signal to proceed, and the savage,becomingferocious,madeaslidetowardsthemaiden;butthemaidenavoidedhim in six twirls, and camedown, at the endof the last one, upon theverypointsofhertoes.Thisseemedtomakesomeimpressionuponthesavage;for,afteralittlemoreferocityandchasingofthemaidenintocorners,hebegantorelent,andstrokedhisfaceseveraltimeswithhisrightthumbandfourfingers,therebyintimatingthathewasstruckwithadmirationofthemaiden'sbeauty.Actingupontheimpulseofthispassion,he(thesavage)begantohithimselfsevere thumps in the chest, and to exhibit other indications of beingdesperatelyinlove,whichbeingratheraprosyproceeding,wasverylikelythecauseofthemaiden'sfallingasleep;whetheritwasorno,asleepshedidfall,soundasachurch,onaslopingbank,and thesavageperceiving it, leanthisleftearonhislefthand,andnoddedsideways,tointimatetoallwhomitmightconcern that sheWAS asleep, and no shamming. Being left to himself, thesavagehadadance,allalone.Justasheleftoff,themaidenwokeup,rubbedhereyes,gotoffthebank,andhadadanceallalonetoosuchadancethatthesavagelookedoninecstasyallthewhile,andwhenitwasdone,pluckedfroma neighbouring tree some botanical curiosity, resembling a small pickledcabbage,andofferedittothemaiden,whoatfirstwouldn'thaveit,butonthesavage shedding tears relented. Then the savage jumped for joy; then themaidenjumpedforraptureatthesweetsmellofthepickledcabbage.Thenthesavage and the maiden danced violently together, and, finally, the savagedroppeddownononeknee,and themaidenstoodonone leguponhisotherknee; thus concluding the ballet, and leaving the spectators in a state ofpleasinguncertainty,whethershewouldultimatelymarrythesavage,orreturntoherfriends.

'Verywellindeed,'saidMrCrummles;'bravo!'

'Bravo!'criedNicholas,resolvedtomakethebestofeverything.'Beautiful!'

'This,sir,'saidMrVincentCrummles,bringingthemaidenforward,'thisistheinfantphenomenonMissNinettaCrummles.'

'Yourdaughter?'inquiredNicholas.

'Mydaughtermydaughter,' repliedMrVincentCrummles; 'the idol of everyplacewego into, sir.Wehavehadcomplimentary lettersabout thisgirl, sir,fromthenobilityandgentryofalmosteverytowninEngland.'

'Iamnotsurprisedatthat,'saidNicholas;'shemustbequiteanaturalgenius.'

'Quite a!' Mr Crummles stopped: language was not powerful enough todescribetheinfantphenomenon. 'I'll tellyouwhat,sir,'hesaid; 'thetalentofthischildisnottobeimagined.Shemustbeseen,sirseentobeeversofaintlyappreciated.There;gotoyourmother,mydear.'

'MayIaskhowoldsheis?'inquiredNicholas.

'Youmay,sir,'repliedMrCrummles,lookingsteadilyinhisquestioner'sface,as somemen do when they have doubts about being implicitly believed inwhattheyaregoingtosay.'Sheistenyearsofage,sir.'

'Notmore!'

'Notaday.'

'Dearme!'saidNicholas,'it'sextraordinary.'

It was; for the infant phenomenon, though of short stature, had acomparativelyagedcountenance,andhadmoreoverbeenprecisely the sameagenotperhaps to the fullextentof thememoryof theoldest inhabitant,butcertainlyforfivegoodyears.Butshehadbeenkeptuplateeverynight,andputuponanunlimitedallowanceofginandwaterfrominfancy,topreventhergrowing tall, andperhaps this systemof traininghadproduced in the infantphenomenontheseadditionalphenomena.

While this shortdialoguewasgoingon, thegentlemanwhohadenacted thesavage, cameup,with hiswalking shoes on his feet, and his slippers in hishand,towithinafewpaces,asifdesiroustojoinintheconversation.Deemingthisagoodopportunity,heputinhisword.

'Talentthere,sir!'saidthesavage,noddingtowardsMissCrummles.

Nicholasassented.

'Ah!'saidtheactor,settinghisteethtogether,anddrawinginhisbreathwitha

hissingsound,'sheoughtn'ttobeintheprovinces,sheoughtn't.'

'Whatdoyoumean?'askedthemanager.

'I mean to say,' replied the other, warmly, 'that she is too good for countryboards, and that she ought to be in one of the large houses in London, ornowhere;andItellyoumore,withoutmincingthematter,thatifitwasn'tforenvyand jealousy in somequarter thatyouknowof, shewouldbe.Perhapsyou'llintroducemehere,MrCrummles.'

'MrFolair,'saidthemanager,presentinghimtoNicholas.

'Happy to know you, sir.' Mr Folair touched the brim of his hat with hisforefinger,andthenshookhands.'Arecruit,sir,Iunderstand?'

'Anunworthyone,'repliedNicholas.

'Did you ever see such a setout as that?' whispered the actor, drawing himaway,asCrummlesleftthemtospeaktohiswife.

'Aswhat?'

MrFolairmadeafunnyfacefromhispantomimecollection,andpointedoverhisshoulder.

'Youdon'tmeantheinfantphenomenon?'

'Infanthumbug,sir,'repliedMrFolair. 'Thereisn'tafemalechildofcommonsharpnessinacharityschool,thatcouldn'tdobetterthanthat.Shemaythankherstarsshewasbornamanager'sdaughter.'

'Youseemtotakeittoheart,'observedNicholas,withasmile.

'Yes,by Jove,andwell Imay,' saidMrFolair,drawinghisarm throughhis,andwalkinghimupanddownthestage.'Isn'titenoughtomakeamancrustytoseethatlittlesprawlerputupinthebestbusinesseverynight,andactuallykeepingmoneyoutof thehouse,bybeing forceddown thepeople's throats,while other people are passed over? Isn't it extraordinary to see a man'sconfounded family conceit blinding him, even to his own interest? Why IKNOW of fifteen and sixpence that came to Southampton one night lastmonth,toseemedancetheHighlandFling;andwhat'stheconsequence?I'venever been put up in it sincenever oncewhile the "infant phenomenon" hasbeengrinning throughartificial flowers at fivepeopleandababy in thepit,andtwoboysinthegallery,everynight.'

'IfImayjudgefromwhatIhaveseenofyou,'saidNicholas, 'youmustbeavaluablememberofthecompany.'

'Oh!'repliedMrFolair,beatinghisslipperstogether,toknockthedustout; 'I

CAN come it pretty wellnobody better, perhaps, in my own linebut havingsuch business as one gets here, is like putting lead on one's feet instead ofchalk,anddancinginfetterswithoutthecreditof it.Holloa,oldfellow,howareyou?'

Thegentlemanaddressedintheselatterwordswasadarkcomplexionedman,inclining indeed to sallow, with long thick black hair, and very evidentinclinations (althoughhewascloseshaved)ofastiffbeard,andwhiskersofthesamedeepshade.Hisagedidnotappeartoexceedthirty,thoughmanyatfirst sightwouldhaveconsideredhimmucholder,ashis facewas long,andvery pale, from the constant application of stage paint. He wore a checkedshirt,anoldgreencoatwithnewgiltbuttons,aneckerchiefofbroadredandgreen stripes, and full blue trousers; he carried, too, a common ashwalkingstick, apparentlymore for show than use, as he flourished it about,withthehookedenddownwards,exceptwhenheraiseditforafewseconds,and throwing himself into a fencing attitude, made a pass or two at thesidescenes,oratanyotherobject,animateorinanimate,thatchancedtoaffordhimaprettygoodmarkatthemoment.

'Well,Tommy,'saidthisgentleman,makingathrustathisfriend,whoparrieditdexterouslywithhisslipper,'what'sthenews?'

'Anewappearance,that'sall,'repliedMrFolair,lookingatNicholas.

'Do thehonours,Tommy,do thehonours,' said theothergentleman, tappinghimreproachfullyonthecrownofthehatwithhisstick.

'This is Mr Lenville, who does our first tragedy, Mr Johnson,' said thepantomimist.

'Exceptwhenoldbricksandmortartakesitintohisheadtodoithimself,youshouldadd,Tommy,'remarkedMrLenville.'Youknowwhobricksandmortaris,Isuppose,sir?'

'Idonot,indeed,'repliedNicholas.

'WecallCrummlesthat,becausehisstyleofactingisratherintheheavyandponderousway,'saidMrLenville.'Imustn'tbecrackingjokesthough,forI'vegotapartoftwelvelengthshere,whichImustbeupintomorrownight,andIhaven't had time to look at it yet; I'm a confounded quick study, that's onecomfort.'

Consolinghimselfwiththisreflection,MrLenvilledrewfromhiscoatpocketa greasy and crumpled manuscript, and, having made another pass at hisfriend, proceeded to walk to and fro, conning it to himself and indulgingoccasionally in such appropriate action as his imagination and the text

suggested.

A pretty general muster of the company had by this time taken place; forbesidesMrLenvilleandhisfriendTommy,therewerepresent,aslimyounggentlemanwithweakeyes,whoplayedthelowspiritedloversandsangtenorsongs,andwhohadcomearminarmwiththecomiccountrymanamanwithaturnedupnose,largemouth,broadface,andstaringeyes.Makinghimselfveryamiabletotheinfantphenomenon,wasaninebriatedelderlygentlemaninthelast depths of shabbiness, who played the calm and virtuous old men; andpaying especial court to Mrs Crummles was another elderly gentleman, ashademorerespectable,whoplayedtheirascibleoldmenthosefunnyfellowswhohavenephewsinthearmyandperpetuallyrunaboutwiththickstickstocompel them to marry heiresses. Besides these, there was a rovinglookingperson in a roughgreatcoat,who strodeup anddown in front of the lamps,flourishingadresscane,andrattlingaway,inanundertone,withgreatvivacityfortheamusementofanidealaudience.Hewasnotquitesoyoungashehadbeen, and his figure was rather running to seed; but there was an air ofexaggerated gentility about him, which bespoke the hero of swaggeringcomedy.Therewas,also,alittlegroupofthreeorfouryoungmenwithlanternjawsandthickeyebrows,whowereconversinginonecorner;buttheyseemedto be of secondary importance, and laughed and talked together withoutattractinganyattention.

Theladiesweregatheredinalittleknotbythemselvesroundthericketytablebeforementioned.TherewasMissSnevellicciwhocoulddoanything,fromamedleydancetoLadyMacbeth,andalsoalwaysplayedsomepartinbluesilkkneesmalls at her benefitglancing, from the depths of her coalscuttle strawbonnet,atNicholas,andaffectingtobeabsorbedintherecitalofadivertingstorytoherfriendMissLedrook,whohadbroughtherwork,andwasmakinguparuffinthemostnaturalmannerpossible.TherewasMissBelvawneywhoseldomaspiredtospeakingparts,andusuallywentonasapageinwhitesilkhose,tostandwithonelegbent,andcontemplatetheaudience,ortogoinandout after Mr Crummles in stately tragedytwisting up the ringlets of thebeautifulMissBravassa,whohadoncehadherlikenesstaken'incharacter'byan engraver's apprentice, whereof impressionswere hung up for sale in thepastrycook'swindow,andthegreengrocer's,andatthecirculatinglibrary,andthe boxoffice, whenever the announce bills came out for her annual night.TherewasMrsLenville,inaverylimpbonnetandveil,decidedlyinthatwayinwhichshewouldwishtobeifshetrulylovedMrLenville;therewasMissGazingi, with an imitation ermine boa tied in a loose knot round her neck,floggingMrCrummles, junior,withbothends, infun.Lastly, therewasMrsGrudden in a brown cloth pelisse and a beaver bonnet, who assisted MrsCrummles inherdomesticaffairs,andtookmoneyat thedoors,anddressed

the ladies, and swept the house, and held the prompt bookwhen everybodyelsewasonfor the lastscene,andactedanykindofpartonanyemergencywithout ever learning it, and was put down in the bills under any name ornameswhatever,thatoccurredtoMrCrummlesaslookingwellinprint.

MrFolairhavingobliginglyconfidedtheseparticularstoNicholas,lefthimtominglewithhisfellows;theworkofpersonalintroductionwascompletedbyMrVincentCrummles,whopubliclyheralded thenewactorasaprodigyofgeniusandlearning.

'Ibegyourpardon,' saidMissSnevellicci, sidling towardsNicholas, 'butdidyoueverplayatCanterbury?'

'Ineverdid,'repliedNicholas.

'IrecollectmeetingagentlemanatCanterbury,'saidMissSnevellicci,'onlyforafewmoments,forIwasleavingthecompanyashejoinedit,solikeyouthatIfeltalmostcertainitwasthesame.'

'Iseeyounowforthefirsttime,'rejoinedNicholaswithallduegallantry.'IamsureIneversawyoubefore;Icouldn'thaveforgottenit.'

'Oh,I'msureit'sveryflatteringofyoutosayso,'retortedMissSnevellicciwitha graceful bend. 'Now I look at you again, I see that the gentleman atCanterburyhadn'tthesameeyesasyouyou'llthinkmeveryfoolishfortakingnoticeofsuchthings,won'tyou?'

'Not at all,' saidNicholas. 'How can I feel otherwise than flattered by yournoticeinanyway?'

'Oh!youmenaresuchvaincreatures!'criedMissSnevellicci.Whereupon,shebecamecharminglyconfused,and,pullingoutherpockethandkerchieffromafadedpinksilkreticulewithagiltclasp,calledtoMissLedrook

'Led,mydear,'saidMissSnevellicci.

'Well,whatisthematter?'saidMissLedrook.

'It'snotthesame.'

'Notthesamewhat?'

'CanterburyyouknowwhatImean.Comehere!Iwanttospeaktoyou.'

ButMissLedrookwouldn'tcometoMissSnevellicci,soMissSnevellicciwasobligedtogotoMissLedrook,whichshedid,inaskippingmannerthatwasquite fascinating; andMiss Ledrook evidently jokedMiss Snevellicci aboutbeing struck with Nicholas; for, after some playful whispering, MissSnevelliccihitMissLedrookveryhardonthebacksofherhands,andretired

up,inastateofpleasingconfusion.

'Ladiesandgentlemen,'saidMrVincentCrummles,whohadbeenwritingonapieceofpaper,'we'llcalltheMortalStruggletomorrowatten;everybodyforthe procession. Intrigue, andWays andMeans, you're all up in, sowe shallonlywantonerehearsal.Everybodyatten,ifyouplease.'

'Everybodyatten,'repeatedMrsGrudden,lookingabouther.

'On Monday morning we shall read a new piece,' said Mr Crummles; 'thename'snotknownyet,buteverybodywillhaveagoodpart.MrJohnsonwilltakecareofthat.'

'Hallo!'saidNicholas,starting.'I'

'OnMondaymorning,'repeatedMrCrummles,raisinghisvoice,todrowntheunfortunateMrJohnson'sremonstrance;'that'lldo,ladiesandgentlemen.'

The ladies and gentlemen required no second notice to quit; and, in a fewminutes,thetheatrewasdeserted,savebytheCrummlesfamily,Nicholas,andSmike.

'Uponmyword,'saidNicholas,takingthemanageraside, 'Idon'tthinkIcanbereadybyMonday.'

'Pooh,pooh,'repliedMrCrummles.

'ButreallyIcan't,'returnedNicholas;'myinventionisnotaccustomedtothesedemands,orpossiblyImightproduce'

'Invention!whatthedevil'sthatgottodowithit!'criedthemanagerhastily.

'Everything,mydearsir.'

'Nothing,mydearsir,'retortedthemanager,withevidentimpatience.'DoyouunderstandFrench?'

'Perfectlywell.'

'Verygood,' said themanager,opening the tabledrawer,andgivinga rollofpaper from it to Nicholas. 'There! Just turn that into English, and put yourname on the titlepage. Damn me,' saidMr Crummles, angrily, 'if I haven'toftensaid that Iwouldn'thaveamanorwoman inmycompany thatwasn'tmasterofthelanguage,sothattheymightlearnitfromtheoriginal,andplayitinEnglish,andsaveallthistroubleandexpense.'

Nicholassmiledandpocketedtheplay.

'Whatareyougoingtodoaboutyourlodgings?'saidMrCrummles.

Nicholas could not help thinking that, for the first week, it would be anuncommon convenience to have a turnupbedstead in the pit, but hemerelyremarkedthathehadnotturnedhisthoughtsthatway.

'Comehomewithme then,' saidMrCrummles, 'andmyboys shall gowithyouafterdinner,andshowyouthemostlikelyplace.'

The offer was not to be refused; Nicholas and Mr Crummles gave MrsCrummlesanarmeach,andwalkedupthestreet instatelyarray.Smike, theboys, and the phenomenon, went home by a shorter cut, andMrs Gruddenremained behind to take some cold Irish stew and a pint of porter in theboxoffice.

MrsCrummlestrodthepavementasifsheweregoingtoimmediateexecutionwithananimatingconsciousnessofinnocence,andthatheroicfortitudewhichvirtuealoneinspires.MrCrummles,ontheotherhand,assumedthelookandgaitofahardeneddespot;but theybothattractedsomenoticefrommanyofthepassersby,andwhentheyheardawhisperof 'MrandMrsCrummles!'orsawa littleboy runback to stare them in the face, the severe expressionoftheircountenancesrelaxed,fortheyfeltitwaspopularity.

MrCrummleslivedinStThomas'sStreet,atthehouseofoneBulph,apilot,whosportedaboatgreendoor,withwindowframesofthesamecolour,andhadthe little finger of a drowned man on his parlour mantelshelf, with othermaritime and natural curiosities.He displayed also a brass knocker, a brassplate,andabrassbellhandle,allverybrightandshining;andhadamast,withavaneonthetopofit,inhisbackyard.

'Youarewelcome,'saidMrsCrummles,turningroundtoNicholaswhentheyreachedthebowwindowedfrontroomonthefirstfloor.

Nicholas bowed his acknowledgments, andwas unfeignedly glad to see theclothlaid.

'Wehavebutashoulderofmuttonwithonionsauce,'saidMrsCrummles,inthesamecharnelhousevoice;'butsuchasourdinneris,webegyoutopartakeofit.'

'Youareverygood,'repliedNicholas,'Ishalldoitamplejustice.'

'Vincent,'saidMrsCrummles,'whatisthehour?'

'Fiveminutespastdinnertime,'saidMrCrummles.

MrsCrummlesrangthebell.'Letthemuttonandonionsauceappear.'

The slave who attended uponMr Bulph's lodgers, disappeared, and after ashort interval reappeared with the festive banquet. Nicholas and the infant

phenomenon opposed each other at the pembroketable, and Smike and themasterCrummlesesdinedonthesofabedstead.

'Aretheyverytheatricalpeoplehere?'askedNicholas.

'No,'repliedMrCrummles,shakinghishead,'farfromitfarfromit.'

'Ipitythem,'observedMrsCrummles.

'Sodo I,' saidNicholas; 'if theyhaveno relish for theatrical entertainments,properlyconducted.'

'Thentheyhavenone,sir,'rejoinedMrCrummles.'Totheinfant'sbenefit,lastyear,onwhichoccasionsherepeatedthreeofhermostpopularcharacters,andalsoappearedintheFairyPorcupine,asoriginallyperformedbyher,therewasahouseofnomorethanfourpoundtwelve.'

'Isitpossible?'criedNicholas.

'Andtwopoundofthatwastrust,pa,'saidthephenomenon.

'And two pound of that was trust,' repeatedMr Crummles. 'Mrs Crummlesherselfhasplayedtomerehandfuls.'

'Buttheyarealwaysatakingaudience,Vincent,'saidthemanager'swife.

'Most audiences are,when theyhavegoodactingrealgoodactingthe regularthing,'repliedMrCrummles,forcibly.

'Doyougivelessons,ma'am?'inquiredNicholas.

'Ido,'saidMrsCrummles.

'Thereisnoteachinghere,Isuppose?'

'Therehasbeen,'saidMrsCrummles.'Ihavereceivedpupilshere.Iimpartedtuition to the daughter of a dealer in ships' provision; but it afterwardsappeared that she was insane when she first came to me. It was veryextraordinarythatsheshouldcome,undersuchcircumstances.'

Notfeelingquitesosureofthat,Nicholasthoughtitbesttoholdhispeace.

'Letmesee,' said themanagercogitatingafterdinner. 'Wouldyou like somenicelittlepartwiththeinfant?'

'Youareverygood,'repliedNicholashastily;'butIthinkperhapsitwouldbebetter if I had somebody ofmy own size at first, in case I should turn outawkward.Ishouldfeelmoreathome,perhaps.'

'True,' said themanager. 'Perhaps youwould.Andyou couldplayup to the

infant,intime,youknow.'

'Certainly,'repliedNicholas:devoutlyhopingthatitwouldbeaverylongtimebeforehewashonouredwiththisdistinction.

'ThenI'lltellyouwhatwe'lldo,'saidMrCrummles. 'YoushallstudyRomeowhen you've done that piecedon't forget to throw the pump and tubs inbythebyeJuliet Miss Snevellicci, old Grudden the nurse.Yes, that'll do verywell.Rovertoo;youmightgetupRoverwhileyouwereaboutit,andCassio,andJeremyDiddler.Youcaneasilyknockthemoff;oneparthelpstheothersomuch.Heretheyare,cuesandall.'

With these hasty general directionsMr Crummles thrust a number of littlebooksintothefalteringhandsofNicholas,andbiddinghiseldestsongowithhim and showwhere lodgingswere to be had, shook himby the hand, andwishedhimgoodnight.

There isno lackof comfortable furnishedapartments inPortsmouth, andnodifficultyinfindingsomethatareproportionatetoveryslenderfinances;buttheformerweretoogood,andthelattertoobad,andtheywentintosomanyhouses, and came out unsuited, that Nicholas seriously began to think heshouldbeobligedtoaskpermissiontospendthenightinthetheatre,afterall.

Eventually, however, they stumbled upon two small rooms up three pair ofstairs,orrathertwopairandaladder,atatobacconist'sshop,ontheCommonHard: a dirty street leadingdown to the dockyard.TheseNicholas engaged,only too happy to have escaped any request for payment of a week's rentbeforehand.

'There!Laydownourpersonalproperty,Smike,'hesaid,aftershowingyoungCrummlesdownstairs. 'Wehave fallenuponstrange times,andHeavenonlyknowstheendofthem;butIamtiredwiththeeventsofthesethreedays,andwillpostponereflectiontilltomorrowifIcan.'

CHAPTER24

Of the Great Bespeak for Miss Snevellicci, and the first Appearance ofNicholasuponanyStage

Nicholaswasupbetimesinthemorning;buthehadscarcelybeguntodress,notwithstanding, when he heard footsteps ascending the stairs, and waspresentlysalutedbythevoicesofMrFolairthepantomimist,andMrLenville,thetragedian.

'House,house,house!'criedMrFolair.

'What,ho!withinthere,'saidMrLenville,inadeepvoice.

'Confound these fellows!' thoughtNicholas; 'they have come to breakfast, Isuppose.I'llopenthedoordirectly,ifyou'llwaitaninstant.'

Thegentlemenentreatedhimnottohurryhimself;and,tobeguiletheinterval,hadafencingboutwiththeirwalkingsticksontheverysmalllandingplace:totheunspeakablediscomposureofalltheotherlodgersdownstairs.

'Here,comein,'saidNicholas,whenhehadcompletedhistoilet.'Inthenameofallthat'shorrible,don'tmakethatnoiseoutside.'

'Anuncommonsnuglittleboxthis,'saidMrLenville,steppingintothefrontroom,andtakinghishatoff,beforehecouldgetinatall.'Pernicioussnug.'

'Foramanatallparticularinsuchmatters,itmightbeatrifletoosnug,'saidNicholas; 'for, although it is, undoubtedly, agreat convenience tobe able toreach anything youwant from the ceiling or the floor, or either side of theroom,withouthavingtomovefromyourchair,stilltheseadvantagescanonlybehadinanapartmentofthemostlimitedsize.'

'It isn't a bit too confined for a single man,' returned Mr Lenville. 'Thatremindsme,mywife,Mr Johnson,I hope she'll have some good part in thispieceofyours?'

'IglancedattheFrenchcopylastnight,'saidNicholas. 'It looksverygood,Ithink.'

'Whatdoyoumeantodoforme,oldfellow?'askedMrLenville,pokingthestrugglingfirewithhiswalkingstick,andafterwardswipingitontheskirtofhiscoat.'Anythinginthegruffandgrumbleway?'

'Youturnyourwifeandchildoutofdoors,'saidNicholas;'and,inafitofrageandjealousy,stabyoureldestsoninthelibrary.'

'DoIthough!'exclaimedMrLenville.'That'sverygoodbusiness.'

'Afterwhich,' saidNicholas, 'you are troubledwith remorse till the last act,and then you make up your mind to destroy yourself. But, just as you areraisingthepistoltoyourhead,aclockstrikesten.'

'Isee,'criedMrLenville.'Verygood.'

'Youpause,' saidNicholas; 'you recollect tohaveheard a clock strike ten inyourinfancy.Thepistolfallsfromyourhandyouareovercomeyouburstintotears,andbecomeavirtuousandexemplarycharacterforeverafterwards.'

'Capital!'saidMrLenville:'that'sasurecard,asurecard.Getthecurtaindownwithatouchofnaturelikethat,andit'llbeatriumphantsuccess.'

'Isthereanythinggoodforme?'inquiredMrFolair,anxiously.

'Letmesee,'saidNicholas.'Youplaythefaithfulandattachedservant;youareturnedoutofdoorswiththewifeandchild.'

'Alwayscoupledwiththatinfernalphenomenon,'sighedMrFolair;'andwegointo poor lodgings, where I won't take any wages, and talk sentiment, Isuppose?'

'Whyyes,'repliedNicholas:'thatisthecourseofthepiece.'

'Imusthaveadanceofsomekind,youknow,'saidMrFolair. 'You'llhavetointroduceone for thephenomenon, soyou'd bettermake aPASDEDEUX,andsavetime.'

'There's nothing easier than that,' saidMr Lenville, observing the disturbedlooksoftheyoungdramatist.

'UponmywordIdon'tseehowit'stobedone,'rejoinedNicholas.

'Why,isn'titobvious?'reasonedMrLenville.'Gadzooks,whocanhelpseeingtheway todo it?you astonishme!Youget thedistressed lady, and the littlechild, and the attached servant, into thepoor lodgings, don't you?Well, lookhere. The distressed lady sinks into a chair, and buries her face in herpockethandkerchief. "Whatmakes youweep,mama?" says the child. "Don'tweep, mama, or you'll make me weep too!""And me!" says the favouriteservant,rubbinghiseyeswithhisarm."Whatcanwedotoraiseyourspirits,dearmama?" says the little child. "Ay,whatCANwedo?" says the faithfulservant."Oh,Pierre!"says thedistressed lady;"would that Icouldshakeoffthese painful thoughts.""Try, ma'am, try," says the faithful servant; "rouseyourself,ma'am;beamused.""Iwill,"saysthelady,"Iwilllearntosufferwithfortitude.Doyou remember thatdance,myhonest friend,which, inhappierdays,youpractisedwith this sweet angel? Itnever failed tocalmmyspiritsthen.Oh! letme see it once againbefore I die!"There it iscue for theband,BEFOREIDIE,andofftheygo.That'stheregularthing;isn'tit,Tommy?'

'That's it,' replied Mr Folair. 'The distressed lady, overpowered by oldrecollections,faintsattheendofthedance,andyoucloseinwithapicture.'

Profiting by these and other lessons, which were the result of the personalexperienceofthetwoactors,Nicholaswillinglygavethemthebestbreakfasthecould,and,whenheatlengthgotridofthem,appliedhimselftohistask:bynomeansdispleasedtofindthatitwassomucheasierthanhehadatfirstsupposed.Heworkedveryhardallday,anddidnot leavehisroomuntil the

evening,whenhewentdowntothetheatre,whitherSmikehadrepairedbeforehimtogoonwithanothergentlemanasageneralrebellion.

Hereallthepeopleweresomuchchanged,thathescarcelyknewthem.Falsehair,falsecolour,falsecalves,falsemusclestheyhadbecomedifferentbeings.Mr Lenville was a blooming warrior of most exquisite proportions; MrCrummles, his large face shaded by a profusion of black hair, a Highlandoutlaw ofmostmajestic bearing; one of the old gentlemen a jailer, and theother a venerable patriarch; the comic countryman, a fightingman of greatvalour, relieved by a touch of humour; each of the Master Crummleses aprinceinhisownright;andthelowspiritedlover,adespondingcaptive.Therewas a gorgeous banquet ready spread for the third act, consisting of twopasteboardvases,oneplateofbiscuits,ablackbottle,andavinegarcruet;and,inshort,everythingwasonascaleoftheutmostsplendourandpreparation.

Nicholas was standing with his back to the curtain, now contemplating thefirst scene, which was a Gothic archway, about two feet shorter than MrCrummles,throughwhichthatgentlemanwastomakehisfirstentrance,andnow listening to a couple of peoplewhowere cracking nuts in the gallery,wonderingwhethertheymadethewholeaudience,whenthemanagerhimselfwalkedfamiliarlyupandaccostedhim.

'Beeninfronttonight?'saidMrCrummles.

'No,'repliedNicholas,'notyet.Iamgoingtoseetheplay.'

'We've had a pretty good Let,' saidMrCrummles. 'Four front places in thecentre,andthewholeofthestagebox.'

'Oh,indeed!'saidNicholas;'afamily,Isuppose?'

'Yes,'repliedMrCrummles,'yes.It'sanaffectingthing.Therearesixchildren,andtheynevercomeunlessthephenomenonplays.'

Itwouldhavebeendifficultforanyparty,family,orotherwise,tohavevisitedthetheatreonanightwhenthephenomenondidNOTplay,inasmuchasshealways sustained one, and not uncommonly two or three, characters, everynight;butNicholas,sympathisingwiththefeelingsofafather,refrainedfromhinting at this trifling circumstance, and Mr Crummles continued to talk,uninterruptedbyhim.

'Six,' said that gentleman; 'pa and ma eight, aunt nine, governess ten,grandfather and grandmother twelve. Then, there's the footman,who standsoutside,withabagoforangesandajugoftoastandwater,andseestheplayfornothing through the littlepaneofglass in theboxdoorit's cheapat aguinea;theygainbytakingabox.'

'Iwonderyouallowsomany,'observedNicholas.

'There's no help for it,' replied Mr Crummles; 'it's always expected in thecountry.Iftherearesixchildren,sixpeoplecometoholdthemintheirlaps.Afamilyboxcarriesdoublealways.Ringintheorchestra,Grudden!'

Thatusefulladydidasshewasrequested,andshortlyafterwardsthetuningofthree fiddleswasheard.Whichprocess havingbeenprotracted as long as itwassupposedthatthepatienceoftheaudiencecouldpossiblybearit,wasputa stop to by another jerk of the bell, which, being the signal to begin inearnest, set the orchestra playing a variety of popular airs,with involuntaryvariations.

If Nicholas had been astonished at the alteration for the better which thegentlemen displayed, the transformation of the ladies was still moreextraordinary.When,fromasnugcornerofthemanager'sbox,hebeheldMissSnevellicci in all the glories of white muslin with a golden hem, and MrsCrummlesinallthedignityoftheoutlaw'swife,andMissBravassainallthesweetnessofMissSnevellicci'sconfidentialfriend,andMissBelvawneyinthewhitesilksofapagedoingdutyeverywhereandswearing to liveanddie inthe service of everybody, he could scarcely contain his admiration, whichtestified itself in great applause, and the closest possible attention to thebusiness of the scene. The plot was most interesting. It belonged to noparticularage,people,orcountry,andwasperhapsthemoredelightfulonthataccount, as nobody's previous information could afford the remotestglimmering of what would ever come of it. An outlaw had been verysuccessfulindoingsomethingsomewhere,andcamehome,intriumph,tothesoundofshoutsandfiddles, togreethiswifea ladyofmasculinemind,whotalkedagooddealabouther father'sbones,which it seemedwereunburied,thoughwhetherfromapeculiartasteonthepartoftheoldgentlemanhimself,orthereprehensibleneglectofhisrelations,didnotappear.Thisoutlaw'swifewas, somehowor other,mixedupwith a patriarch, living in a castle a longwayoff,andthispatriarchwasthefatherofseveralof thecharacters,buthedidn'texactlyknowwhich,andwasuncertainwhetherhehadbroughtuptheright ones in his castle, or the wrong ones; he rather inclined to the latteropinion, and, being uneasy, relieved hismindwith a banquet, duringwhichsolemnitysomebodyinacloaksaid'Beware!'whichsomebodywasknownbynobody(excepttheaudience)tobetheoutlawhimself,whohadcomethere,forreasonsunexplained,butpossiblywithaneyetothespoons.Therewasanagreeable little surprise in the way of certain love passages between thedespondingcaptiveandMissSnevellicci,andthecomicfightingmanandMissBravassa; besides which,Mr Lenville had several very tragic scenes in thedark,while on throatcutting expeditions,whichwere all baffled by the skillandbraveryof thecomicfightingman(whooverheardwhateverwassaidall

throughthepiece)andtheintrepidityofMissSnevellicci,whoadoptedtights,andthereinrepairedtotheprisonofhercaptivelover,withasmallbasketofrefreshmentsandadarklantern.Atlast,itcameoutthatthepatriarchwastheman who had treated the bones of the outlaw's fatherinlaw with so muchdisrespect,forwhichcauseandreasontheoutlaw'swiferepairedtohiscastletokillhim,andsogotintoadarkroom,where,afteragooddealofgropinginthedark,everybodygotholdofeverybodyelse,andtookthemforsomebodybesides,whichoccasionedavastquantityofconfusion,withsomepistolling,loss of life, and torchlight; after which, the patriarch came forward, andobserving,withaknowinglook,thatheknewallabouthischildrennow,andwould tell them when they got inside, said that there could not be a moreappropriateoccasionformarryingtheyoungpeoplethanthat;andthereforehejoinedtheirhands,withthefullconsentoftheindefatigablepage,who(beingtheonlyotherpersonsurviving)pointedwithhiscapintotheclouds,andhisrighthand to theground; thereby invokingablessingandgiving thecue forthecurtaintocomedown,whichitdid,amidstgeneralapplause.

'Whatdidyouthinkofthat?'askedMrCrummles,whenNicholaswentroundtothestageagain.MrCrummleswasveryredandhot, foryouroutlawsaredesperatefellowstoshout.

'I think it was very capital indeed,' replied Nicholas; 'Miss Snevellicci inparticularwasuncommonlygood.'

'She's agenius,' saidMrCrummles; 'quite agenius, thatgirl.Bythebye, I'vebeenthinkingofbringingoutthatpieceofyoursonherbespeaknight.'

'When?'askedNicholas.

'The night of her bespeak. Her benefit night, when her friends and patronsbespeaktheplay,'saidMrCrummles.

'Oh!Iunderstand,'repliedNicholas.

'Yousee,'saidMr.Crummles,'it'ssuretogo,onsuchanoccasion,andevenifitshouldnotworkupquiteaswellasweexpect,whyitwillbeherrisk,youknow,andnotours.'

'Yours,youmean,'saidNicholas.

'Isaidmine,didn'tI?'returnedMrCrummles. 'NextMondayweek.Whatdoyou say?You'll have done it, and are sure to be up in the lover's part, longbeforethattime.'

'Idon'tknowabout"longbefore,"'repliedNicholas;'butBYthattimeIthinkIcanundertaketobeready.'

'Verygood,'pursuedMrCrummles,'thenwe'llcallthatsettled.Now,Iwanttoaskyousomethingelse.There's a littlewhat shall I call it?a littlecanvassingtakesplaceontheseoccasions.'

'Amongthepatrons,Isuppose?'saidNicholas.

'Amongthepatrons;andthefactis,thatSnevelliccihashadsomanybespeaksin this place, that she wants an attraction. She had a bespeak when hermotherinlawdied,andabespeakwhenheruncledied;andMrsCrummlesandmyself havehadbespeakson the anniversaryof thephenomenon's birthday,andourweddingday,andoccasionsofthatdescription,sothat,infact,there'ssomedifficultyingettingagoodone.Now,won'tyouhelpthispoorgirl,MrJohnson?'saidCrummles,sittinghimselfdownonadrum,andtakingagreatpinchofsnuff,ashelookedhimsteadilyintheface.

'Howdoyoumean?'rejoinedNicholas.

'Don'tyouthinkyoucouldsparehalfanhourtomorrowmorning,tocallwithher at the houses of one or two of the principal people?' murmured themanagerinapersuasivetone.

'Ohdearme,'saidNicholas,withanairofverystrongobjection, 'Ishouldn'tliketodothat.'

'The infant will accompany her,' said Mr Crummles. 'The moment it wassuggestedtome,Igavepermissionfortheinfanttogo.TherewillnotbethesmallestimproprietyMissSnevellicci,sir,istheverysoulofhonour.ItwouldbeofmaterialservicethegentlemanfromLondonauthorofthenewpieceactorin the new piecefirst appearance on any boardsit would lead to a greatbespeak,MrJohnson.'

'I amvery sorry to throw a dampupon the prospects of anybody, andmoreespecially a lady,' replied Nicholas; 'but really I must decidedly object tomakingoneofthecanvassingparty.'

'WhatdoesMrJohnsonsay,Vincent?' inquiredavoiceclose tohisear;and,lookinground,hefoundMrsCrummlesandMissSnevellicciherselfstandingbehindhim.

'Hehassomeobjection,mydear,'repliedMrCrummles,lookingatNicholas.

'Objection!'exclaimedMrsCrummles.'Canitbepossible?'

'Oh, Ihopenot!' criedMissSnevellicci. 'Yousurelyarenot socrueloh,dearme!Well,Itothinkofthatnow,afterallone'slookingforwardtoit!'

'Mr Johnsonwill not persist,mydear,' saidMrsCrummles. 'Thinkbetter ofhimthantosupposeit.Gallantry,humanity,allthebestfeelingsofhisnature,

mustbeenlistedinthisinterestingcause.'

'Whichmovesevenamanager,'saidMrCrummles,smiling.

'And a manager's wife,' added Mrs Crummles, in her accustomed tragedytones.'Come,come,youwillrelent,Iknowyouwill.'

'It isnot inmynature,' saidNicholas,movedby theseappeals, 'to resistanyentreaty,unlessitistodosomethingpositivelywrong;and,beyondafeelingofpride,Iknownothingwhichshouldpreventmydoingthis.Iknownobodyhere,andnobodyknowsme.Sobeitthen.Iyield.'

Miss Snevellicciwas at once overwhelmedwith blushes and expressions ofgratitude, ofwhich latter commodity neitherMr norMrsCrummleswas byanymeanssparing.ItwasarrangedthatNicholasshouldcalluponher,atherlodgings, at eleven next morning, and soon after they parted: he to returnhome tohis authorship:MissSnevellicci todress for the afterpiece: and thedisinterested manager and his wife to discuss the probable gains of theforthcomingbespeak,ofwhichtheyweretohavetwothirdsof theprofitsbysolemntreatyofagreement.

Atthestipulatedhournextmorning,NicholasrepairedtothelodgingsofMissSnevellicci,whichwere in a place calledLombardStreet, at the house of atailor.A strong smell of ironing pervaded the little passage; and the tailor'sdaughter,whoopenedthedoor,appearedinthatflutterofspiritswhichissooftenattendantupontheperiodicalgettingupofafamily'slinen.

'Miss Snevellicci lives here, I believe?' said Nicholas, when the door wasopened.

Thetailor'sdaughterrepliedintheaffirmative.

'Will you have the goodness to let her know thatMr Johnson is here?' saidNicholas.

'Oh,ifyouplease,you'retocomeupstairs,'repliedthetailor'sdaughter,withasmile.

Nicholasfollowedtheyounglady,andwasshownintoasmallapartmentonthefirstfloor,communicatingwithabackroom;inwhich,ashejudgedfromacertainhalfsubduedclinkingsound,asofcupsandsaucers,MissSnevellicciwasthentakingherbreakfastinbed.

'You'retowait,ifyouplease,'saidthetailor'sdaughter,afterashortperiodofabsence, during which the clinking in the backroom had ceased, and beensucceededbywhispering'Shewon'tbelong.'

Asshespoke, shepulledup thewindowblind,andhavingby thismeans (as

she thought) diverted Mr Johnson's attention from the room to the street,caughtupsomearticleswhichwereairingonthefender,andhadverymuchtheappearanceofstockings,anddartedoff.

As there were not many objects of interest outside the window, Nicholaslooked about the room with more curiosity than he might otherwise havebestowed upon it. On the sofa lay an old guitar, several thumbed pieces ofmusic, and a scattered litter of curlpapers; togetherwith a confusedheapofplaybills, and a pair of soiled white satin shoes with large blue rosettes.Hangingover thebackofachairwasahalffinishedmuslinapronwith littlepockets ornamented with red ribbons, such as waitingwomen wear on thestage,and(byconsequence)areneverseenwithanywhereelse.Inonecornerstood the diminutive pair of topboots in which Miss Snevellicci wasaccustomed to enact the little jockey, and, folded on a chair hard by,was asmall parcel, which bore a very suspicious resemblance to the companionsmalls.

But the most interesting object of all was, perhaps, the open scrapbook,displayed in themidstof some theatricalduodecimos thatwere strewnuponthe table; and pasted into which scrapbook were various critical notices ofMissSnevellicci'sacting,extractedfromdifferentprovincialjournals,togetherwithonepoeticaddressinherhonour,commencing

Sing,GodofLove,andtellmeinwhatdearth

ThricegiftedSNEVELLICCIcameonearth,

Tothrilluswithhersmile,hertear,hereye,

Sing,GodofLove,andtellmequicklywhy.

Besides this effusion, therewere innumerable complimentary allusions, alsoextracted from newspapers, such as'We observe from an advertisement inanotherpartofourpaperoftoday,thatthecharmingandhighlytalentedMissSnevellicci takes her benefit onWednesday, forwhich occasion she has putforthabilloffarethatmightkindleexhilarationinthebreastofamisanthrope.Intheconfidencethatourfellowtownsmenhavenotlostthathighappreciationof public utility and private worth, for which they have long been sopreeminently distinguished, we predict that this charming actress will begreeted with a bumper.' 'To Correspondents.J.S. is misinformed when hesupposes that the highlygifted and beautiful Miss Snevellicci, nightlycaptivatingallheartsatourprettyandcommodiouslittletheatre, isNOTthesameladytowhomtheyounggentlemanofimmensefortune,residingwithinahundredmilesof thegoodcityofYork, latelymadehonourableproposals.WehavereasontoknowthatMissSnevellicciIStheladywhowasimplicatedinthatmysteriousandromanticaffair,andwhoseconductonthatoccasiondid

no less honour to her head andheart, thandoher histrionic triumphs to herbrilliantgenius.'Acopiousassortmentofsuchparagraphsasthese,withlongbills of benefits all ending with 'Come Early', in large capitals, formed theprincipalcontentsofMissSnevellicci'sscrapbook.

Nicholas had read a great many of these scraps, and was absorbed in acircumstantialandmelancholyaccountofthetrainofeventswhichhadledtoMiss Snevellicci's spraining her ankle by slipping on a piece of orangepeelflung by a monster in human form, (so the paper said,) upon the stage atWinchester,whenthatyoungladyherself,attiredinthecoalscuttlebonnetandwalkingdresscomplete, tripped into the room,witha thousandapologies forhavingdetainedhimsolongaftertheappointedtime.

'But really,' saidMissSnevellicci, 'mydarlingLed,who liveswithmehere,wastakensoveryillinthenightthatIthoughtshewouldhaveexpiredinmyarms.'

'Suchafateisalmosttobeenvied,'returnedNicholas,'butIamverysorrytohearitnevertheless.'

'Whatacreatureyouaretoflatter!'saidMissSnevellicci,buttoninghergloveinmuchconfusion.

'If it be flattery to admire your charms and accomplishments,' rejoinedNicholas,layinghishanduponthescrapbook,'youhavebetterspecimensofithere.'

'Oh you cruel creature, to read such things as those! I'm almost ashamed tolookyouinthefaceafterwards,positivelyIam,'saidMissSnevellicci,seizingthebookandputtingitawayinacloset.'HowcarelessofLed!Howcouldshebesonaughty!'

'Ithoughtyouhadkindlyleftithere,onpurposeformetoread,'saidNicholas.Andreallyitdidseempossible.

'I wouldn't have had you see it for theworld!' rejoinedMiss Snevellicci. 'Ineverwassovexednever!Butsheissuchacarelessthing,there'snotrustingher.'

The conversation was here interrupted by the entrance of the phenomenon,who had discreetly remained in the bedroom up to this moment, and nowpresentedherself,withmuchgraceandlightness,bearing inherhandaverylittle green parasol with a broad fringe border, and no handle. After a fewwordsofcourse,theysalliedintothestreet.

The phenomenon was rather a troublesome companion, for first the rightsandalcamedown,andthentheleft,andthesemischancesbeingrepaired,one

leg of the little white trousers was discovered to be longer than the other;besidestheseaccidents,thegreenparasolwasdroppeddownanirongrating,andonly fishedupagainwithgreatdifficultyandbydintofmuchexertion.However,itwasimpossibletoscoldher,asshewasthemanager'sdaughter,soNicholas took it all in perfect good humour, and walked on, with MissSnevellicci,arminarmononeside,andtheoffendinginfantontheother.

The first house to which they bent their steps, was situated in a terrace ofrespectableappearance.MissSnevellicci'smodestdoubleknockwasansweredbyafootboy,who, inreply toher inquirywhetherMrsCurdlewasathome,openedhiseyesverywide,grinnedverymuch,andsaidhedidn'tknow,buthe'd inquire.With this he showed them into a parlour where he kept themwaiting, until the two womenservants had repaired thither, under falsepretences,toseetheplayactors;andhavingcomparednoteswiththeminthepassage,andjoinedinavastquantityofwhisperingandgiggling,heatlengthwentupstairswithMissSnevellicci'sname.

Now,MrsCurdlewas supposed, by thosewhowere best informed on suchpoints, topossessquite theLondon taste inmatters relating to literatureandthedrama;andastoMrCurdle,hehadwrittenapamphletofsixtyfourpages,postoctavo,onthecharacteroftheNurse'sdeceasedhusbandinRomeoandJuliet,withaninquirywhetherhereallyhadbeena'merryman'inhislifetime,orwhetheritwasmerelyhiswidow'saffectionatepartialitythatinducedhersotoreporthim.Hehadlikewiseproved, thatbyalteringthereceivedmodeofpunctuation,anyoneofShakespeare'splayscouldbemadequitedifferent,andthe sense completely changed; it is needless to say, therefore, that hewas agreatcritic,andaveryprofoundandmostoriginalthinker.

'Well,Miss Snevellicci,' saidMrsCurdle, entering the parlour, 'and how doYOUdo?'

MissSnevelliccimadeagracefulobeisance,andhopedMrsCurdlewaswell,asalsoMrCurdle,whoatthesametimeappeared.MrsCurdlewasdressedinamorningwrapper,withalittlecapstuckuponthetopofherhead.MrCurdleworealooserobeonhisback,andhisrightforefingeronhisforeheadaftertheportraits of Sterne, to whom somebody or other had once said he bore astrikingresemblance.

'Iventuretocall,forthepurposeofaskingwhetheryouwouldputyournametomybespeak,ma'am,'saidMissSnevellicci,producingdocuments.

'Oh! I really don't knowwhat to say,' repliedMrsCurdle. 'It's not as if thetheatrewasinitshighandpalmydaysyouneedn'tstand,MissSnevelliccithedramaisgone,perfectlygone.'

'Asanexquisiteembodimentofthepoet'svisions,andarealisationofhuman

intellectuality, gildingwith refulgent light our dreamymoments, and layingopen a new and magic world before the mental eye, the drama is gone,perfectlygone,'saidMrCurdle.

'Whatmanisthere,nowliving,whocanpresentbeforeusallthosechangingand prismatic colours with which the character of Hamlet is invested?'exclaimedMrsCurdle.

'Whatmanindeeduponthestage,'saidMrCurdle,withasmallreservationinfavourofhimself.'Hamlet!Pooh!ridiculous!Hamletisgone,perfectlygone.'

Quiteovercomeby thesedismal reflections,MrandMrsCurdle sighed,andsatforsomeshorttimewithoutspeaking.Atlength,thelady,turningtoMissSnevellicci,inquiredwhatplaysheproposedtohave.

'Quiteanewone,'saidMissSnevellicci,'ofwhichthisgentlemanistheauthor,andinwhichheplays;beinghisfirstappearanceonanystage.MrJohnsonisthegentleman'sname.'

'Ihopeyouhavepreservedtheunities,sir?'saidMrCurdle.

'The original piece is a French one,' said Nicholas. 'There is abundance ofincident,sprightlydialogue,stronglymarkedcharacters'

'All unavailing without a strict observance of the unities, sir,' returned MrCurdle.'Theunitiesofthedrama,beforeeverything.'

'Might I ask you,' saidNicholas, hesitating between the respect he ought toassume,andhisloveofthewhimsical,'mightIaskyouwhattheunitiesare?'

Mr Curdle coughed and considered. 'The unities, sir,' he said, 'are acompletenessakindofuniversaldovetailednesswithregardtoplaceandtimeasortofageneraloneness,ifImaybeallowedtousesostronganexpression.Itakethosetobethedramaticunities,sofarasIhavebeenenabledtobestowattention upon them, and I have read much upon the subject, and thoughtmuch.Ifind,runningthroughtheperformancesofthischild,'saidMrCurdle,turningtothephenomenon,'aunityoffeeling,abreadth,alightandshade,awarmthofcolouring,atone,aharmony,aglow,anartisticaldevelopmentoforiginalconceptions,whichIlookfor,invain,amongolderperformersIdon'tknowwhetherImakemyselfunderstood?'

'Perfectly,'repliedNicholas.

'Justso,'saidMrCurdle,pullinguphisneckcloth.'Thatismydefinitionoftheunitiesofthedrama.'

MrsCurdlehadsatlisteningtothislucidexplanationwithgreatcomplacency.It being finished, she inquiredwhatMrCurdle thought, about puttingdown

theirnames.

'Idon'tknow,mydear;uponmywordIdon'tknow,'saidMrCurdle.'Ifwedo,itmustbedistinctlyunderstoodthatwedonotpledgeourselvestothequalityoftheperformances.Letitgoforthtotheworld,thatwedonotgiveTHEMthesanctionofournames,butthatweconferthedistinctionmerelyuponMissSnevellicci.Thatbeingclearlystated,Itakeittobe,asitwere,aduty,thatweshould extend our patronage to a degraded stage, even for the sake of theassociations with which it is entwined. Have you got twoandsixpence forhalfacrown, Miss Snevellicci?' said Mr Curdle, turning over four of thosepiecesofmoney.

Miss Snevellicci felt in all the corners of the pink reticule, but there wasnothinginanyofthem.Nicholasmurmuredajestabouthisbeinganauthor,andthoughtitbestnottogothroughtheformoffeelinginhisownpocketsatall.

'Let me see,' saidMr Curdle; 'twice four's eightfour shillings apiece to theboxes, Miss Snevellicci, is exceedingly dear in the present state of thedramathree halfcrowns is sevenandsix;we shall not differ about sixpence, Isuppose?Sixpencewillnotpartus,MissSnevellicci?'

PoorMissSnevelliccitookthethreehalfcrowns,withmanysmilesandbends,andMrsCurdle, addingseveral supplementarydirections relative tokeepingtheplacesforthem,anddustingtheseat,andsendingtwocleanbillsassoonastheycameout,rangthebell,asasignalforbreakinguptheconference.

'Oddpeoplethose,'saidNicholas,whentheygotclearofthehouse.

'Iassureyou,'saidMissSnevellicci, takinghisarm, 'thatI thinkmyselfveryluckytheydidnotoweallthemoneyinsteadofbeingsixpenceshort.Now,ifyou were to succeed, they would give people to understand that they hadalways patronised you; and if youwere to fail, theywould have been quitecertainofthatfromtheverybeginning.'

Atthenexthousetheyvisited,theywereingreatglory;for,there,residedthesix children who were so enraptured with the public actions of thephenomenon,andwho,beingcalleddownfromthenurserytobetreatedwitha private view of that young lady, proceeded to poke their fingers into hereyes, and tread upon her toes, and show her many other little attentionspeculiartotheirtimeoflife.

'IshallcertainlypersuadeMrBorumtotakeaprivatebox,'saidtheladyofthehouse,afteramostgraciousreception. 'Ishallonly take twoof thechildren,and will make up the rest of the party, of gentlemenyour admirers, MissSnevellicci.Augustus,younaughtyboy,leavethelittlegirlalone.'

Thiswasaddressedtoayounggentlemanwhowaspinchingthephenomenonbehind,apparentlywithaviewofascertainingwhethershewasreal.

'Iamsureyoumustbeverytired,'saidthemama,turningtoMissSnevellicci.'Icannotthinkofallowingyoutogo,withoutfirsttakingaglassofwine.Fie,Charlotte,Iamashamedofyou!MissLane,mydear,prayseetothechildren.'

MissLanewasthegoverness,andthisentreatywasrenderednecessarybytheabrupt behaviour of the youngest Miss Borum, who, having filched thephenomenon's little greenparasol,wasnowcarrying it bodilyoff,while thedistractedinfantlookedhelplesslyon.

'I am sure, where you ever learnt to act as you do,' said goodnaturedMrsBorum,turningagaintoMissSnevellicci, 'Icannotunderstand(Emma,don'tstareso);laughinginonepiece,andcryinginthenext,andsonaturalinalloh,dear!'

'I am very happy to hear you express so favourable an opinion,' saidMissSnevellicci.'It'squitedelightfultothinkyoulikeit.'

'Like it!' criedMrsBorum. 'Whocanhelp liking it? Iwouldgo to theplay,twiceaweekifIcould:Idoteuponitonlyyou'retooaffectingsometimes.Youdoputmeinsuchastateintosuchfitsofcrying!Goodnessgraciousme,MissLane,howcanyouletthemtormentthatpoorchildso!'

Thephenomenonwas really ina fairwayofbeing torn limb from limb; fortwostronglittleboys,oneholdingonbyeachofherhands,weredraggingherin different directions as a trial of strength. However,Miss Lane (who hadherselfbeentoomuchoccupiedincontemplatingthegrownupactors, topaythenecessaryattentiontotheseproceedings)rescuedtheunhappyinfantatthisjuncture, who, being recruitedwith a glass of wine, was shortly afterwardstaken away by her friends, after sustaining nomore serious damage than aflattening of the pink gauze bonnet, and a rather extensive creasing of thewhitefrockandtrousers.

It was a trying morning; for there were a great many calls to make, andeverybody wanted a different thing. Some wanted tragedies, and otherscomedies; some objected to dancing; some wanted scarcely anything else.Some thought the comic singer decidedly low, and others hoped he wouldhavemore to do than he usually had. Somepeoplewouldn't promise to go,becauseotherpeoplewouldn'tpromisetogo;andotherpeoplewouldn'tgoatall, because other people went. At length, and by little and little, omittingsomething in this place, and adding something in that, Miss Snevelliccipledgedherselftoabilloffarewhichwascomprehensiveenough,ifithadnoothermerit (it includedamongother trifles, fourpieces,divers songs, a fewcombats,andseveraldances);andtheyreturnedhome,prettywellexhausted

withthebusinessoftheday.

Nicholasworkedawayatthepiece,whichwasspeedilyputintorehearsal,andthenworkedawayathisownpart,whichhestudiedwithgreatperseveranceandactedasthewholecompanysaidtoperfection.Andatlengththegreatdayarrived. The crier was sent round, in the morning, to proclaim theentertainmentswiththesoundofbellinall thethoroughfares;andextrabillsofthreefeetlongbynineincheswide,weredispersedinalldirections,flungdown all the areas, thrust under all the knockers, and developed in all theshops. Theywere placarded on all thewalls too, though notwith completesuccess, for an illiterate person having undertaken this office during theindisposition of the regular billsticker, a partwere posted sideways, and theremainderupsidedown.

Athalfpastfive,therewasarushoffourpeopletothegallerydoor;ataquarterbeforesix, therewereat leastadozen;at sixo'clock thekickswere terrific;andwhentheelderMasterCrummlesopenedthedoor,hewasobligedtorunbehinditforhislife.FifteenshillingsweretakenbyMrsGruddeninthefirsttenminutes.

Behindthescenes,thesameunwontedexcitementprevailed.MissSnevellicciwasinsuchaperspirationthatthepaintwouldscarcelystayonherface.MrsCrummles was so nervous that she could hardly remember her part. MissBravassa's ringlets came out of curl with the heat and anxiety; even MrCrummleshimselfkeptpeeping through thehole in thecurtain,and runningback,everynowandthen,toannouncethatanothermanhadcomeintothepit.

Atlast,theorchestraleftoff,andthecurtainroseuponthenewpiece.Thefirstscene, inwhich therewas nobody particular, passed off calmly enough, butwhen Miss Snevellicci went on in the second, accompanied by thephenomenon as child,what a roar of applause brokeout!Thepeople in theBorumboxroseasoneman,wavingtheirhatsandhandkerchiefs,andutteringshoutsof'Bravo!'MrsBorumandthegovernesscastwreathsuponthestage,ofwhich,someflutteredintothelamps,andonecrownedthetemplesofafatgentleman in the pit, who, looking eagerly towards the scene, remainedunconsciousofthehonour;thetailorandhisfamilykickedatthepanelsoftheupper boxes till they threatened to comeout altogether; the very gingerbeerboyremainedtransfixedinthecentreofthehouse;ayoungofficer,supposedtoentertainapassionforMissSnevellicci,stuckhisglassinhiseyeasthoughtohide a tear.Again and againMissSnevellicci curtseyed lower and lower,and again and again the applause camedown, louder and louder.At length,when thephenomenonpickeduponeof the smokingwreaths andput it on,sideways, over Miss Snevellicci's eye, it reached its climax, and the playproceeded.

ButwhenNicholascameonforhiscrackscenewithMrsCrummles,whataclapping of hands therewas!WhenMrsCrummles (whowas his unworthymother),sneered,andcalledhim'presumptuousboy,'andhedefiedher,whatatumult of applause came on!When he quarrelled with the other gentlemanabouttheyounglady,andproducingacaseofpistols,said,thatifheWASagentleman, hewould fight him in that drawingroom, until the furniturewassprinkled with the blood of one, if not of twohow boxes, pit, and gallery,joinedinonemostvigorouscheer!Whenhecalledhismothernames,becauseshewouldn'tgiveuptheyounglady'sproperty,andsherelenting,causedhimto relent likewise, and falldownononekneeandaskherblessing,how theladiesintheaudiencesobbed!Whenhewashidbehindthecurtaininthedark,andthewickedrelationpokedasharpswordineverydirection,savewherehislegswereplainlyvisible,whatathrillofanxiousfearranthroughthehouse!Hisair,hisfigure,hiswalk,hislook,everythinghesaidordid,wasthesubjectofcommendation.Therewasa roundofapplauseevery timehespoke.Andwhen,atlast,inthepumpandtubscene,MrsGruddenlightedthebluefire,andall theunemployedmembersof thecompanycame in,and tumbleddowninvarious directionsnot because that had anything to do with the plot, but inordertofinishoffwithatableautheaudience(whohadbythistimeincreasedconsiderably)gaveventtosuchashoutofenthusiasmashadnotbeenheardinthosewallsformanyandmanyaday.

Inshort,thesuccessbothofnewpieceandnewactorwascomplete,andwhenMissSnevellicciwascalledforattheendoftheplay,Nicholasledheron,anddividedtheapplause.

CHAPTER25

Concerning a young Lady from London, who joins the Company, and anelderly Admirer who follows in her Train; with an affecting CeremonyconsequentontheirArrival

The new piece being a decided hit, was announced for every evening ofperformance until further notice, and the evenings when the theatre wasclosed,werereducedfromthreeintheweektotwo.Norwerethesetheonlytokens of extraordinary success; for, on the succeeding Saturday, Nicholasreceived, by favour of the indefatigable Mrs Grudden, no less a sum thanthirty shillings; besides which substantial reward, he enjoyed considerablefame and honour: having a presentation copy of Mr Curdle's pamphletforwarded to the theatre, with that gentleman's own autograph (in itself an

inestimabletreasure)ontheflyleaf,accompaniedwithanote,containingmanyexpressionsofapproval,andanunsolicitedassurancethatMrCurdlewouldbeveryhappytoreadShakespearetohimforthreehourseverymorningbeforebreakfastduringhisstayinthetown.

'I've got another novelty, Johnson,' saidMrCrummles onemorning in greatglee.

'What'sthat?'rejoinedNicholas.'Thepony?'

'No, no,wenever come to the pony till everything else has failed,' saidMrCrummles.'Idon'tthinkweshallcometotheponyatall,thisseason.No,no,notthepony.'

'Aboyphenomenon,perhaps?'suggestedNicholas.

'Thereisonlyonephenomenon,sir,'repliedMrCrummlesimpressively, 'andthat'sagirl.'

'Verytrue,'saidNicholas. 'Ibegyourpardon.ThenIdon'tknowwhatit is,Iamsure.'

'WhatshouldyousaytoayoungladyfromLondon?'inquiredMrCrummles.'MissSoandso,oftheTheatreRoyal,DruryLane?'

'Ishouldsayshewouldlookverywellinthebills,'saidNicholas.

'You'reaboutright there,'saidMrCrummles; 'andifyouhadsaidshewouldlookverywelluponthestagetoo,youwouldn'thavebeenfarout.Lookhere;whatdoyouthinkofthis?'

WiththisinquiryMrCrummlesunfoldedaredposter,andablueposter,andayellowposter,atthetopofeachofwhichpublicnotificationwasinscribedinenormouscharacters'Firstappearanceof theunrivalledMissPetowkerof theTheatreRoyal,DruryLane!'

'Dearme!'saidNicholas,'Iknowthatlady.'

'Thenyouareacquaintedwithasmuchtalentaswasevercompressedintooneyoungperson'sbody,'retortedMrCrummles,rollingupthebillsagain;'thatis,talent of a certain sortof a certain sort. "The Blood Drinker,"' added MrCrummleswithapropheticsigh,'"TheBloodDrinker"willdiewiththatgirl;andshe's theonlysylphIeversaw,whocouldstandupononeleg,andplaythetambourineonherotherknee,LIKEasylph.'

'Whendoesshecomedown?'askedNicholas.

'We expect her today,' replied Mr Crummles. 'She is an old friend of MrsCrummles's.MrsCrummles sawwhat she coulddoalwaysknew it from the

first. She taught her, indeed, nearly all she knows.Mrs Crummles was theoriginalBloodDrinker.'

'Wasshe,indeed?'

'Yes.Shewasobligedtogiveitupthough.'

'Diditdisagreewithher?'askedNicholas.

'Notsomuchwithher,aswithheraudiences,'repliedMrCrummles.'Nobodycould stand it. It was too tremendous. You don't quite know what MrsCrummlesisyet.'

Nicholasventuredtoinsinuatethathethoughthedid.

'No,no,youdon't,'saidMrCrummles;'youdon't,indeed.Idon't,andthat'safact.Idon'tthinkhercountrywill,tillsheisdead.Somenewproofoftalentburstsfromthatastonishingwomaneveryyearofherlife.Lookathermotherofsixchildrenthreeof'emalive,andalluponthestage!'

'Extraordinary!'criedNicholas.

'Ah!extraordinaryindeed,'rejoinedMrCrummles,takingacomplacentpinchofsnuff,andshakinghisheadgravely. 'IpledgeyoumyprofessionalwordIdidn't even know she could dance, till her last benefit, and then she playedJuliet,andHelenMacgregor,anddid theskippingropehornpipebetweenthepieces. The very first time I saw that admirable woman, Johnson,' saidMrCrummles, drawing a little nearer, and speaking in the tone of confidentialfriendship,'shestooduponherheadonthebuttendofaspear,surroundedwithblazingfireworks.'

'Youastonishme!'saidNicholas.

'SHE astonished ME!' returned Mr Crummles, with a very seriouscountenance. 'Suchgrace, coupledwith suchdignity! I adoredher from thatmoment!'

ThearrivalofthegiftedsubjectoftheseremarksputanabruptterminationtoMr Crummles's eulogium. Almost immediately afterwards, Master PercyCrummles enteredwith a letter,whichhadarrivedby theGeneralPost, andwas directed to his graciousmother; at sight of the superscriptionwhereof,Mrs Crummles exclaimed, 'From Henrietta Petowker, I do declare!' andinstantlybecameabsorbedinthecontents.

'Isit?'inquiredMrCrummles,hesitating.

'Oh,yes,it'sallright,'repliedMrsCrummles,anticipatingthequestion.'Whatanexcellentthingforher,tobesure!'

'It'sthebestthingaltogether,thatIeverheardof,Ithink,'saidMrCrummles;andthenMrCrummles,MrsCrummles,andMasterPercyCrummles,allfellto laughing violently. Nicholas left them to enjoy their mirth together, andwalked to his lodgings;wonderingverymuchwhatmystery connectedwithMissPetowkercouldprovokesuchmerriment,andponderingstillmoreontheextremesurprisewithwhichthatladywouldregardhissuddenenlistmentinaprofessionofwhichshewassuchadistinguishedandbrilliantornament.

But,inthislatterrespecthewasmistaken;forwhetherMrVincentCrummleshadpavedtheway,orMissPetowkerhadsomespecialreasonfortreatinghimwithevenmorethanherusualamiabilitytheirmeetingatthetheatrenextdaywasmorelikethatoftwodearfriendswhohadbeeninseparablefrominfancy,thana recognitionpassingbetweena ladyandgentlemanwhohadonlymetsome halfdozen times, and then bymere chance. Nay,Miss Petowker evenwhispered that she hadwholly dropped theKenwigses in her conversationswiththemanager'sfamily,andhadrepresentedherselfashavingencounteredMr Johnson in the very first andmost fashionable circles; and onNicholasreceiving this intelligencewith unfeigned surprise, she added, with a sweetglance, thatshehadaclaimonhisgoodnaturenow,andmight taxitbeforelong.

NicholashadthehonourofplayinginaslightpiecewithMissPetowkerthatnight,andcouldnotbutobservethatthewarmthofherreceptionwasmainlyattributable to amost persevering umbrella in the upper boxes; he saw, too,thattheenchantingactresscastmanysweetlookstowardsthequarterwhencethesesoundsproceeded;andthateverytimeshedidso,theumbrellabrokeoutafresh.Once,he thought thatapeculiarlyshapedhat in thesamecornerwasnotwhollyunknown tohim;but,beingoccupiedwithhis shareof thestagebusiness, he bestowed no great attention upon this circumstance, and it hadquitevanishedfromhismemorybythetimehereachedhome.

He had just sat down to supperwith Smike,when one of the people of thehouse came outside the door, and announced that a gentleman below stairswishedtospeaktoMrJohnson.

'Well, if he does, you must tell him to come up; that's all I know,' repliedNicholas.'Oneofourhungrybrethren,Isuppose,Smike.'

Hisfellowlodger lookedat thecoldmeat insilentcalculationof thequantitythat would be left for dinner next day, and put back a slice he had cut forhimself,inorderthatthevisitor'sencroachmentsmightbelessformidableintheireffects.

'Itisnotanybodywhohasbeenherebefore,'saidNicholas,'forheistumblingupeverystair.Comein,comein.Inthenameofwonder!MrLillyvick?'

It was, indeed, the collector of waterrates who, regarding Nicholas with afixed look and immovable countenance, shook hands with most portentoussolemnity,andsathimselfdowninaseatbythechimneycorner.

'Why,whendidyoucomehere?'askedNicholas.

'Thismorning,sir,'repliedMrLillyvick.

'Oh!Isee;thenyouwereatthetheatretonight,anditwasyourumb'

'This umbrella,' saidMr Lillyvick, producing a fat green cotton one with abatteredferrule.'Whatdidyouthinkofthatperformance?'

'SofarasIcouldjudge,beingonthestage,'repliedNicholas,'Ithoughtitveryagreeable.'

'Agreeable!'criedthecollector.'Imeantosay,sir,thatitwasdelicious.'

MrLillyvickbentforwardtopronouncethelastwordwithgreateremphasis;andhavingdoneso,drewhimselfup,andfrownedandnoddedagreatmanytimes.

'I say, delicious,' repeatedMr Lillyvick. 'Absorbing, fairylike, toomultuous,'andagainMrLillyvickdrewhimselfup,andagainhefrownedandnodded.

'Ah!' said Nicholas, a little surprised at these symptoms of ecstaticapprobation.'Yessheisaclevergirl.'

'Sheisadivinity,'returnedMrLillyvick,givingacollector'sdoubleknockonthegroundwiththeumbrellabeforementioned.'Ihaveknowndivineactressesbeforenow,sir,IusedtocollectatleastIusedtoCALLforandveryoftencallforthe waterrate at the house of a divine actress, who lived in my beat forupwardsoffouryearbutneverno,never,sirofalldivinecreatures,actressesornoactresses,didIseeadivineronethanisHenriettaPetowker.'

Nicholashadmuchadotopreventhimselffromlaughing;nottrustinghimselfto speak, he merely nodded in accordance with Mr Lillyvick's nods, andremainedsilent.

'Letmespeakawordwithyouinprivate,'saidMrLillyvick.

NicholaslookedgoodhumouredlyatSmike,who,takingthehint,disappeared.

'Abachelorisamiserablewretch,sir,'saidMrLillyvick.

'Ishe?'askedNicholas.

'Heis,'rejoinedthecollector.'Ihavelivedintheworldfornighsixtyyear,andIoughttoknowwhatitis.'

'YouOUGHT to know, certainly,' thoughtNicholas; 'butwhether you do ornot,isanotherquestion.'

'If a bachelor happens to have saved a little matter of money,' said MrLillyvick, 'his sisters and brothers, and nephews and nieces, look TO thatmoney,andnottohim;evenif,bybeingapubliccharacter,heistheheadofthefamily,or,asitmaybe,themainfromwhichalltheotherlittlebranchesareturnedon,theystillwishhimdeadallthewhile,andgetlowspiritedeverytimetheyseehimlookingingoodhealth,becausetheywanttocomeintohislittleproperty.Youseethat?'

'Ohyes,'repliedNicholas:'it'sverytrue,nodoubt.'

'The great reason for not being married,' resumed Mr Lillyvick, 'is theexpense; that'swhat'skeptmeoff,orelseLord!' saidMrLillyvick, snappinghisfingers,'Imighthavehadfiftywomen.'

'Finewomen?'askedNicholas.

'Finewomen,sir!'repliedthecollector;'ay!notsofineasHenriettaPetowker,for she is an uncommon specimen, but suchwomen as don't fall into everyman'sway, I can tell you.Now suppose aman can get a fortune IN awifeinsteadofwithhereh?'

'Why,then,he'saluckyfellow,'repliedNicholas.

'That'swhatIsay,'retortedthecollector,pattinghimbenignantlyonthesideoftheheadwithhisumbrella; 'justwhat Isay.HenriettaPetowker, the talentedHenriettaPetowkerhasafortuneinherself,andIamgoingto'

'TomakeherMrsLillyvick?'suggestedNicholas.

'No, sir,not tomakeherMrsLillyvick,' replied thecollector. 'Actresses, sir,alwayskeeptheirmaidennamesthat'stheregularthingbutI'mgoingtomarryher;andthedayaftertomorrow,too.'

'Icongratulateyou,sir,'saidNicholas.

'Thankyou,sir,'repliedthecollector,buttoninghiswaistcoat.'Ishalldrawhersalary,ofcourse,andIhopeafterallthatit'snearlyascheaptokeeptwoasitistokeepone;that'saconsolation.'

'Surelyyoudon'twantanyconsolationatsuchamoment?'observedNicholas.

'No,'repliedMrLillyvick,shakinghisheadnervously:'noofcoursenot.'

'But howcomeyouboth here, if you're going to bemarried,MrLillyvick?'askedNicholas.

'Why,that'swhatIcametoexplaintoyou,'repliedthecollectorofwaterrate.'Thefactis,wehavethoughtitbesttokeepitsecretfromthefamily.'

'Family!'saidNicholas.'Whatfamily?'

'TheKenwigsesofcourse,'rejoinedMrLillyvick.'IfmynieceandthechildrenhadknownawordaboutitbeforeIcameaway,they'dhavegoneintofitsatmy feet, and never have come out of 'em till I took an oath not to marryanybodyor they'd have got out a commission of lunacy, or some dreadfulthing,'saidthecollector,quitetremblingashespoke.

'Tobesure,'saidNicholas.'Yes;theywouldhavebeenjealous,nodoubt.'

'To prevent which,' said Mr Lillyvick, 'Henrietta Petowker (it was settledbetween us) should come down here to her friends, the Crummleses, underpretence of this engagement, and I should go down to Guildford the daybefore,andjoinheronthecoachthere,whichIdid,andwecamedownfromGuildford yesterday together. Now, for fear you should be writing to MrNoggs, andmight say anything aboutus,wehave thought it best to let youintothesecret.WeshallbemarriedfromtheCrummleses'lodgings,andshallbe delighted to see youeither before church or at breakfasttime, which youlike. It won't be expensive, you know,' said the collector, highly anxious toprevent any misunderstanding on this point; 'just muffins and coffee, withperhapsashrimporsomethingofthatsortforarelish,youknow.'

'Yes,yes,Iunderstand,'repliedNicholas.'Oh,Ishallbemosthappytocome;it will give me the greatest pleasure. Where's the lady stoppingwith MrsCrummles?'

'Why,no,'said thecollector; 'theycouldn'tverywelldisposeofheratnight,and so she is stayingwithanacquaintanceofhers, andanotheryoung lady;theybothbelongtothetheatre.'

'MissSnevellicci,Isuppose?'saidNicholas.

'Yes,that'sthename.'

'Andthey'llbebridesmaids,Ipresume?'saidNicholas.

'Why,'saidthecollector,witharuefulface,'theyWILLhavefourbridesmaids;I'mafraidthey'llmakeitrathertheatrical.'

'Oh no, not at all,' repliedNicholas, with an awkward attempt to convert alaugh into a cough. 'Whomay the four be?Miss Snevellicci of courseMissLedrook'

'Thethephenomenon,'groanedthecollector.

'Ha,ha!' criedNicholas. 'Ibegyourpardon, Idon'tknowwhat I'm laughingatyes,that'llbeveryprettythephenomenonwhoelse?'

'Someyoungwomanorother,'repliedthecollector,rising;'someotherfriendofHenriettaPetowker's.Well, you'll be carefulnot to say anything about it,willyou?'

'Youmaysafelydependuponme,'repliedNicholas.'Won'tyoutakeanythingtoeatordrink?'

'No,' said the collector; 'I haven't any appetite. I should think itwas a verypleasantlife,themarriedone,eh?'

'Ihavenottheleastdoubtofit,'rejoinedNicholas.

'Yes,'saidthecollector;'certainly.Ohyes.Nodoubt.Goodnight.'

With these words, Mr Lillyvick, whose manner had exhibited through thewhole of this interview a most extraordinary compound of precipitation,hesitation, confidence and doubt, fondness, misgiving, meanness, andselfimportance, turnedhisbackupon the room, and leftNicholas to enjoy alaughbyhimselfifhefeltsodisposed.

WithoutstoppingtoinquirewhethertheinterveningdayappearedtoNicholasto consist of the usual number of hours of the ordinary length, it may beremarked that, to the parties more directly interested in the forthcomingceremony, it passedwith great rapidity, insomuch thatwhenMiss Petowkerawoke on the succeeding morning in the chamber ofMiss Snevellicci, shedeclared that nothing should ever persuade her that that really was the daywhichwastobeholdachangeinhercondition.

'I never will believe it,' saidMiss Petowker; 'I cannot really. It's of no usetalking,Inevercanmakeupmymindtogothroughwithsuchatrial!'

Onhearingthis,MissSnevellicciandMissLedrook,whoknewperfectlywellthat theirfair friend'smindhadbeenmadeupfor threeorfouryears,atanyperiodofwhichtimeshewouldhavecheerfullyundergonethedesperatetrialnowapproachingifshecouldhavefoundanyeligiblegentlemandisposedfortheventure,begantopreachcomfortandfirmness,andtosayhowveryproudsheoughttofeelthatitwasinherpowertoconferlastingblissonadeservingobject,andhownecessaryitwasforthehappinessofmankindingeneralthatwomen shouldpossess fortitude and resignationon suchoccasions; and thatalthough for their parts they held true happiness to consist in a single life,which they would not willingly exchangeno, not for any worldlyconsiderationstill (thankGod), if ever the timeSHOULDcome, they hopedthey knew their duty too well to repine, but would the rather submit with

meekness and humility of spirit to a fate for which Providence had clearlydesigned them with a view to the contentment and reward of theirfellowcreatures.

'I might feel it was a great blow,' said Miss Snevellicci, 'to break up oldassociationsandwhatdoyoucallemsofthatkind,butIwouldsubmit,mydear,Iwouldindeed.'

'SowouldI,'saidMissLedrook;'Iwouldrathercourttheyokethanshunit.Ihavebrokenheartsbeforenow,andI'mverysorryforit:forit'saterriblethingtoreflectupon.'

'Itisindeed,'saidMissSnevellicci.'NowLed,mydear,wemustpositivelygetherready,orweshallbetoolate,weshallindeed.'

This pious reasoning, and perhaps the fear of being too late, supported thebridethroughtheceremonyofrobing,afterwhich,strongteaandbrandywereadministered inalternatedosesasameansof strengtheningher feeble limbsandcausinghertowalksteadier.

'Howdoyoufeelnow,mylove?'inquiredMissSnevellicci.

'OhLillyvick!'criedthebride.'IfyouknewwhatIamundergoingforyou!'

'Ofcourseheknowsit,love,andwillneverforgetit,'saidMissLedrook.

'Doyouthinkhewon't?'criedMissPetowker,reallyshowinggreatcapabilityforthestage.'Oh,doyouthinkhewon't?DoyouthinkLillyvickwillalwaysrememberitalways,always,always?'

There isnoknowing inwhat thisburstof feelingmighthaveended, ifMissSnevelliccihadnotatthatmomentproclaimedthearrivalofthefly,whichsoastoundedthebridethatsheshookoffdiversalarmingsymptomswhichwerecomingonverystrong,andrunningtotheglassadjustedherdress,andcalmlydeclaredthatshewasreadyforthesacrifice.

Shewas accordingly supported into the coach, and there 'kept up' (asMissSnevelliccisaid)withperpetualsniffsofSALVOLATILEandsipsofbrandyandothergentlestimulants,untiltheyreachedthemanager'sdoor,whichwasalready opened by the twoMaster Crummleses, who wore white cockades,andweredecoratedwith thechoicestandmost resplendentwaistcoats in thetheatricalwardrobe.Bythecombinedexertionsoftheseyounggentlemenandthe bridesmaids, assisted by the coachman, Miss Petowker was at lengthsupported inaconditionofmuchexhaustion to the first floor,where shenosooner encountered the youthful bridegroom than she fainted with greatdecorum.

'HenriettaPetowker!'saidthecollector;'cheerup,mylovelyone.'

MissPetowkergraspedthecollector'shand,butemotionchokedherutterance.

'Isthesightofmesodreadful,HenriettaPetowker?'saidthecollector.

'Ohno,no,no,'rejoinedthebride;'butallthefriendsthedarlingfriendsofmyyouthfuldaystoleavethemallitissuchashock!'

With such expressions of sorrow,Miss Petowker went on to enumerate thedearfriendsofheryouthfuldaysonebyone,andtocalluponsuchofthemaswerepresent tocomeandembraceher.Thisdone,sherememberedthatMrsCrummles had been more than a mother to her, and after that, that MrCrummleshadbeenmorethanafathertoher,andafter that, that theMasterCrummleses andMiss Ninetta Crummles had been more than brothers andsisters to her. These various remembrances being each accompaniedwith aseriesofhugs,occupiedalongtime,andtheywereobligedtodrivetochurchveryfast,forfeartheyshouldbetoolate.

Theprocessionconsistedoftwoflys;inthefirstofwhichwereMissBravassa(thefourthbridesmaid),MrsCrummles,thecollector,andMrFolair,whohadbeen chosen as his second on the occasion. In the otherwere the bride,MrCrummles, Miss Snevellicci, Miss Ledrook, and the phenomenon. Thecostumeswere beautiful. The bridesmaidswere quite coveredwith artificialflowers,andthephenomenon,inparticular,wasrenderedalmostinvisiblebytheportablearbourinwhichshewasenshrined.MissLedrook,whowasofaromanticturn,woreinherbreasttheminiatureofsomefieldofficerunknown,which she had purchased, a great bargain, not very long before; the otherladiesdisplayedseveraldazzlingarticlesof imitative jewellery,almostequalto real, andMrsCrummles came out in a stern and gloomymajesty,whichattractedtheadmirationofallbeholders.

But, perhaps the appearance of Mr Crummles was more striking andappropriate than that of any member of the party. This gentleman, whopersonated the bride's father, had, in pursuance of a happy and originalconception,'madeup'forthepartbyarrayinghimselfinatheatricalwig,ofastyle and pattern commonly known as a brown George, and moreoverassuming a snuffcoloured suit, of the previous century, with grey silkstockings, and buckles to his shoes. The better to support his assumedcharacterhehaddeterminedtobegreatlyovercome,and,consequently,whenthey entered the church, the sobs of the affectionate parent were soheartrendingthatthepewopenersuggestedtheproprietyofhisretiringtothevestry, and comforting himself with a glass of water before the ceremonybegan.

The procession up the aisle was beautiful. The bride, with the four

bridesmaids,formingagrouppreviouslyarrangedandrehearsed;thecollector,followedbyhis second, imitatinghiswalkandgestures to the indescribableamusement of some theatrical friends in the gallery;MrCrummles,with aninfirmandfeeblegait;MrsCrummlesadvancingwiththatstagewalk,whichconsists of a stride and a stop alternatelyit was the completest thing everwitnessed.Theceremonywasveryquicklydisposedof,andallpartiespresenthaving signed the register (forwhichpurpose,when it came tohis turn,MrCrummles carefullywiped and put on an immense pair of spectacles), theywentbacktobreakfastinhighspirits.AndheretheyfoundNicholasawaitingtheirarrival.

'Now then,' said Crummles, who had been assisting Mrs Grudden in thepreparations,whichwereonamoreextensivescalethanwasquiteagreeabletothecollector.'Breakfast,breakfast.'

No second invitation was required. The company crowded and squeezedthemselvesat the tableaswellas theycould,and fell to, immediately:MissPetowker blushing very much when anybody was looking, and eating verymuchwhen anybodywasNOT looking; andMrLillyvick going towork asthoughwith thecool resolve, that since thegood thingsmustbepaid forbyhim, he would leave as little as possible for the Crummleses to eat upafterwards.

'It'svery soondone, sir, isn't it?' inquiredMrFolairof thecollector, leaningoverthetabletoaddresshim.

'Whatissoondone,sir?'returnedMrLillyvick.

'The tyingupthe fixingoneselfwith awife,' repliedMrFolair. 'It don't takelong,doesit?'

'No,sir,'repliedMrLillyvick,colouring.'Itdoesnottakelong.Andwhatthen,sir?'

'Oh!nothing,'saidtheactor. 'Itdon'ttakeamanlongtohanghimself,either,eh?ha,ha!'

MrLillyvick laid downhis knife and fork, and looked round the tablewithindignantastonishment.

'Tohanghimself!'repeatedMrLillyvick.

A profound silence came upon all, for Mr Lillyvick was dignified beyondexpression.

'To hang himself!' criedMrLillyvick again. 'Is any parallel attempted to bedrawninthiscompanybetweenmatrimonyandhanging?'

'Thenoose,youknow,'saidMrFolair,alittlecrestfallen.

'Thenoose,sir?'retortedMrLillyvick.'Doesanymandaretospeaktomeofanoose,andHenriettaPe'

'Lillyvick,'suggestedMrCrummles.

'AndHenriettaLillyvickinthesamebreath?'saidthecollector.'Inthishouse,inthepresenceofMrandMrsCrummles,whohavebroughtupatalentedandvirtuous family, to be blessings and phenomenons, andwhat not, arewe toheartalkofnooses?'

'Folair,'saidMrCrummles,deemingitamatterofdecencytobeaffectedbythisallusiontohimselfandpartner,'I'mastonishedatyou.'

'What are you going on in thisway atme for?' urged the unfortunate actor.'WhathaveIdone?'

'Done, sir!' cried Mr Lillyvick, 'aimed a blow at the whole framework ofsociety'

'Andthebestandtenderestfeelings,'addedCrummles,relapsingintotheoldman.

'Andthehighestandmostestimableofsocialties,'saidthecollector.'Noose!Asifonewascaught,trappedintothemarriedstate,pinnedbytheleg,insteadofgoingintoitofone'sownaccordandgloryingintheact!'

'Ididn'tmeantomakeitout,thatyouwerecaughtandtrapped,andpinnedbytheleg,'repliedtheactor.'I'msorryforit;Ican'tsayanymore.'

'Soyououghttobe,sir,'returnedMrLillyvick;'andIamgladtohearthatyouhaveenoughoffeelinglefttobeso.'

Thequarrel appearing to terminatewith this reply,MrsLillyvickconsideredthat the fittest occasion (the attention of the company being no longerdistracted) to burst into tears, and require the assistance of all fourbridesmaids, which was immediately rendered, though not without someconfusion, for the room being small and the tablecloth long, a wholedetachment of plates were swept off the board at the very first move.Regardless of this circumstance, however, Mrs Lillyvick refused to becomforteduntilthebelligerentshadpassedtheirwordsthatthedisputeshouldbe carried no further,which, after a sufficient showof reluctance, they did,and from that timeMrFolair sat inmoody silence, contenting himselfwithpinching Nicholas's leg when anything was said, and so expressing hiscontemptbothforthespeakerandthesentimentstowhichhegaveutterance.

Therewereagreatnumberofspeechesmade;somebyNicholas,andsomeby

Crummles, and some by the collector; two by the Master Crummleses inreturningthanksforthemselves,andonebythephenomenononbehalfofthebridesmaids,atwhichMrsCrummlesshedtears.Therewassomesinging,too,fromMissLedrookandMissBravassa,andverylikelytheremighthavebeenmore, if theflydriver,whostoppedtodrivethehappypair tothespotwherethey proposed to take steamboat to Ryde, had not sent in a peremptorymessage intimating, that if they didn't come directly he should infalliblydemandeighteenpenceoverandabovehisagreement.

This desperate threat effectually broke up the party. After a most patheticleavetaking,MrLillyvickandhisbridedepartedforRyde,wheretheyweretospend the next two days in profound retirement, and whither they wereaccompaniedbytheinfant,whohadbeenappointedtravellingbridesmaidonMrLillyvick's express stipulation: as the steamboat people, deceived by hersize,would(hehadpreviouslyascertained)transportherathalfprice.

Astherewasnoperformancethatnight,MrCrummlesdeclaredhisintentionofkeepingituptilleverythingtodrinkwasdisposedof;butNicholashavingtoplayRomeoforthefirsttimeontheensuingevening,contrivedtoslipawayin the midst of a temporary confusion, occasioned by the unexpecteddevelopmentofstrongsymptomsofinebrietyintheconductofMrsGrudden.

Tothisactofdesertionhewasled,notonlybyhisowninclinations,butbyhisanxiety on account of Smike, who, having to sustain the character of theApothecary,hadbeenasyetwhollyunabletogetanymoreofthepartintohishead than the general idea that hewas very hungry,whichperhaps fromoldrecollectionshehadacquiredwithgreataptitude.

'Idon'tknowwhat'stobedone,Smike,'saidNicholas,layingdownthebook.'Iamafraidyoucan'tlearnit,mypoorfellow.'

'I amafraidnot,' saidSmike, shakinghishead. 'I think ifyoubut thatwouldgiveyousomuchtrouble.'

'What?'inquiredNicholas.'Nevermindme.'

'Ithink,'saidSmike,'ifyouweretokeepsayingittomeinlittlebits,overandoveragain,Ishouldbeabletorecollectitfromhearingyou.'

'Doyouthinkso?'exclaimedNicholas. 'Wellsaid.Letusseewhotiresfirst.NotI,Smike,trustme.Nowthen.Whocallssoloud?'

'"Whocallssoloud?"'saidSmike.

'"Whocallssoloud?"'repeatedNicholas.

'"Whocallssoloud?"'criedSmike.

Thus they continued to ask each other who called so loud, over and overagain;andwhenSmikehadthatbyheartNicholaswenttoanothersentence,andthentotwoatatime,andthentothree,andsoon,untilatmidnightpoorSmike found to his unspeakable joy that he really began to remembersomethingaboutthetext.

Early in the morning they went to it again, and Smike, rendered moreconfidentbytheprogresshehadalreadymade,gotonfasterandwithbetterheart.Assoonashebegantoacquirethewordsprettyfreely,Nicholasshowedhimhowhemustcomeinwithbothhandsspreadoutuponhisstomach,andhowhemustoccasionallyrubit, incompliancewiththeestablishedformbywhich people on the stage always denote that they want something to eat.After the morning's rehearsal they went to work again, nor did they stop,exceptforahastydinner,untilitwastimetorepairtothetheatreatnight.

Never hadmaster amore anxious, humble, docile pupil. Never had pupil amorepatient,unwearying,considerate,kindheartedmaster.

Assoonastheyweredressed,andateveryintervalwhenhewasnotuponthestage, Nicholas renewed his instructions. They prospered well. The Romeowas received with hearty plaudits and unbounded favour, and Smike waspronounced unanimously, alike by audience and actors, the very prince andprodigyofApothecaries.

CHAPTER26

IsfraughtwithsomeDangertoMissNickleby'sPeaceofMind

Theplacewas a handsome suite of private apartments inRegentStreet; thetimewasthreeo'clockintheafternoontothedullandplodding,andthefirsthour of morning to the gay and spirited; the persons were Lord FrederickVerisopht,andhisfriendSirMulberryHawk.

Thesedistinguishedgentlemenwerereclining listlesslyonacoupleofsofas,with a table between them, on which were scattered in rich confusion thematerialsofanuntastedbreakfast.Newspaperslaystrewnabouttheroom,butthese,likethemeal,wereneglectedandunnoticed;not,however,becauseanyflow of conversation prevented the attractions of the journals from beingcalled intorequest, fornotawordwasexchangedbetween the two,norwasany sound uttered, save when one, in tossing about to find an easierrestingplace for his aching head, uttered an exclamation of impatience, and

seemedforamomenttocommunicateanewrestlessnesstohiscompanion.

Theseappearanceswouldinthemselveshavefurnishedaprettystrongcluetothe extent of the debauch of the previous night, even if there had not beenotherindicationsoftheamusementsinwhichithadbeenpassed.Acoupleofbilliardballs,allmudanddirt, twobatteredhats,achampagnebottlewithasoiledglovetwistedroundtheneck,toallowofitsbeinggraspedmoresurelyinitscapacityofanoffensiveweapon;abrokencane;acardcasewithoutthetop; an empty purse; a watchguard snapped asunder; a handful of silver,mingledwith fragments of halfsmoked cigars, and their stale and crumbledashes;these, and many other tokens of riot and disorder, hinted veryintelligiblyatthenatureoflastnight'sgentlemanlyfrolics.

LordFrederickVerisophtwasthefirsttospeak.Droppinghisslipperedfootonthe ground, and, yawning heavily, he struggled into a sitting posture, andturnedhisdulllanguideyestowardshisfriend,towhomhecalledinadrowsyvoice.

'Hallo!'repliedSirMulberry,turninground.

'Arewegoingtolieherealldaay?'saidthelord.

'Idon'tknowthatwe'refitforanythingelse,'repliedSirMulberry;'yetawhile,atleast.Ihaven'tagrainoflifeinmethismorning.'

'Life!' criedLordVerisopht. 'I feelas if therewouldbenothingso snugandcomfortableastodieatonce.'

'Thenwhydon'tyoudie?'saidSirMulberry.

Withwhichinquiryheturnedhisfaceaway,andseemedtooccupyhimselfinanattempttofallasleep.

Hishopefulfriendandpupildrewachairtothebreakfasttable,andessayedtoeat;but,findingthatimpossible,loungedtothewindow,thenloiteredupanddown the roomwithhishand tohis feveredhead, and finally threwhimselfagainonhissofa,androusedhisfriendoncemore.

'What the devil's the matter?' groaned Sir Mulberry, sitting upright on thecouch.

AlthoughSirMulberrysaidthiswithsufficientillhumour,hedidnotseemtofeelhimselfquiteatlibertytoremainsilent;for,afterstretchinghimselfveryoften, and declaring with a shiver that it was 'infernal cold,' he made anexperiment at the breakfasttable, and provingmore successful in it than hislessseasonedfriend,remainedthere.

'Suppose,' saidSirMulberry,pausingwithamorselon thepointofhis fork,

'supposewegobacktothesubjectoflittleNickleby,eh?'

'WhichlittleNickleby;themoneylenderorthegaal?'askedLordVerisopht.

'Youtakeme,Isee,'repliedSirMulberry.'Thegirl,ofcourse.'

'Youpromisedmeyou'dfindherout,'saidLordVerisopht.

'So Idid,' rejoinedhis friend; 'but Ihave thought furtherof thematter sincethen.Youdistrustmeinthebusinessyoushallfindheroutyourself.'

'Naay,'remonstratedLordVerisopht.

'ButIsayyes,'returnedhisfriend.'Youshallfindheroutyourself.Don'tthinkthatImean,whenyoucanIknowaswellasyouthatifIdid,youcouldnevergetsightofherwithoutme.No.IsayyoushallfindheroutSHALLandI'llputyouintheway.'

'Now,curseme,ifyouain'tareal,deyvlish,downright,thoroughpacedfriend,'saidtheyounglord,onwhomthisspeechhadproducedamostrevivingeffect.

'I'lltellyouhow,'saidSirMulberry.'Shewasatthatdinnerasabaitforyou.'

'No!'criedtheyounglord.'Whatthedey'

'Asabaitforyou,'repeatedhisfriend;'oldNicklebytoldmesohimself.'

'Whatafineoldcockitis!'exclaimedLordVerisopht;'anoblerascal!'

'Yes,'saidSirMulberry,'heknewshewasasmartlittlecreature'

'Smart!' interposed the young lord. 'Upon my soul, Hawk, she's a perfectbeautyaapicture,astatue,aauponmysoulsheis!'

'Well,' replied Sir Mulberry, shrugging his shoulders and manifesting anindifference,whetherhefeltitornot; 'that'samatteroftaste;ifminedoesn'tagreewithyours,somuchthebetter.'

'Confound it!' reasoned the lord, 'you were thick enoughwith her that day,anyhow.Icouldhardlygetinaword.'

'Well enough foronce,well enough foronce,' repliedSirMulberry; 'butnotworththetroubleofbeingagreeabletoagain.Ifyouseriouslywanttofollowuptheniece,tell theunclethatyoumustknowwhereshelivesandhowshelives,andwithwhom,oryouareno longeracustomerofhis.He'll tellyoufastenough.'

'Whydidn'tyousaythisbefore?'askedLordVerisopht, 'insteadoflettingmegoonburning,consuming,draggingoutamiserableexistenceforanaage!'

'Ididn'tknowit,inthefirstplace,'answeredSirMulberrycarelessly; 'andinthesecond,Ididn'tbelieveyouweresoverymuchinearnest.'

Now,thetruthwas,thatintheintervalwhichhadelapsedsincethedinneratRalph Nickleby's, Sir Mulberry Hawk had been furtively trying by everymeans inhispower todiscoverwhenceKatehadsosuddenlyappeared,andwhither she had disappeared.Unassisted byRalph, however,withwhomhehadheldnocommunicationsincetheirangrypartingonthatoccasion,allhisefforts were wholly unavailing, and he had therefore arrived at thedetermination of communicating to the young lord the substance of theadmission he had gleaned from that worthy. To this he was impelled byvarious considerations; amongwhich the certainty of knowingwhatever theweak young man knew was decidedly not the least, as the desire ofencounteringtheusurer'snieceagain,andusinghisutmostartstoreduceherpride,andrevengehimselfforhercontempt,wasuppermostinhisthoughts.Itwasapoliticcourseofproceeding,andonewhichcouldnotfailtoredoundtohisadvantageineverypointofview,sincetheverycircumstanceofhishavingextortedfromRalphNicklebyhisrealdesigninintroducinghisniecetosuchsociety, coupled with his extreme disinterestedness in communicating it sofreely to his friend, could not but advance his interests in that quarter, andgreatlyfacilitatethepassageofcoin(prettyfrequentandspeedyalready)fromthepocketsofLordFrederickVerisophttothoseofSirMulberryHawk.

Thus reasoned SirMulberry, and in pursuance of this reasoning he and hisfriendsoonafterwardsrepairedtoRalphNickleby's,theretoexecuteaplanofoperations concerted by Sir Mulberry himself, avowedly to promote hisfriend'sobject,andreallytoattainhisown.

TheyfoundRalphathome,andalone.Asheledthemintothedrawingroom,therecollectionof thescenewhichhadtakenplacethereseemedtooccur tohim,forhecastacuriouslookatSirMulberry,whobestoweduponitnootheracknowledgmentthanacarelesssmile.

They had a short conference upon some money matters then in progress,whichwere scarcely disposed ofwhen the lordly dupe (in pursuance of hisfriend's instructions) requestedwith some embarrassment to speak to Ralphalone.

'Alone, eh?' cried SirMulberry, affecting surprise. 'Oh, very good. I'llwalkintothenextroomhere.Don'tkeepmelong,that'sall.'

Sosaying,SirMulberry tookuphishat,andhummingafragmentofasongdisappeared through the door of communication between the twodrawingrooms,andcloseditafterhim.

'Now,mylord,'saidRalph,'whatisit?'

'Nickleby,' said his client, throwing himself along the sofa onwhich he hadbeenpreviouslyseated,soastobringhislipsnearertotheoldman'sear,'whataprettycreatureyournieceis!'

'Is she,my lord?' replied Ralph. 'MaybemaybeI don't troublemy headwithsuchmatters.'

'You know she's a deyvlish fine girl,' said the client. 'Youmust know that,Nickleby.Come,don'tdenythat.'

'Yes,Ibelievesheisconsideredso,'repliedRalph.'Indeed,Iknowsheis.IfIdid not, you are an authority on such points, and your taste, my lordon allpoints,indeedisundeniable.'

Nobodybuttheyoungmantowhomthesewordswereaddressedcouldhavebeendeaftothesneeringtoneinwhichtheywerespoken,orblindtothelookofcontemptbywhichtheywereaccompanied.ButLordFrederickVerisophtwasboth,andtookthemtobecomplimentary.

'Well,'hesaid,'p'rapsyou'realittleright,andp'rapsyou'realittlewrongalittleof both,Nickleby. Iwant to knowwhere this beauty lives, that Imay haveanotherpeepather,Nickleby.'

'Really'Ralphbeganinhisusualtones.

'Don'ttalksoloud,'criedtheother,achievingthegreatpointofhislessontoamiracle.'Idon'twantHawktohear.'

'Youknowheisyourrival,doyou?'saidRalph,lookingsharplyathim.

'Healwaysis,daamnhim,'repliedtheclient;'andIwanttostealamarchuponhim. Ha, ha, ha! He'll cut up so rough, Nickleby, at our talking togetherwithouthim.Wheredoesshelive,Nickleby,that'sall?Onlytellmewhereshelives,Nickleby.'

'Hebites,'thoughtRalph.'Hebites.'

'Eh,Nickleby,eh?'pursuedtheclient.'Wheredoesshelive?'

'Really,mylord,'saidRalph,rubbinghishandsslowlyovereachother,'ImustthinkbeforeItellyou.'

'No, not a bit of it, Nickleby; you mustn't think at all,' replied Verisopht.'Whereisit?'

'Nogoodcancomeofyourknowing,'repliedRalph.'Shehasbeenvirtuouslyandwellbroughtup;tobesuresheishandsome,poor,unprotected!Poorgirl,poorgirl.'

Ralph ran over this brief summary of Kate's condition as if it weremerelypassingthroughhisownmind,andhehadnointentiontospeakaloud;buttheshrewdsly lookwhichhedirectedathiscompanionashedelivered it,gavethispoorassumptionthelie.

'ItellyouIonlywanttoseeher,'criedhisclient.'Amaanmaylookataprettywoman without harm, mayn't he? Now, where DOES she live? You knowyou'remakingafortuneoutofme,Nickleby,anduponmysoulnobodyshallevertakemetoanybodyelse,ifyouonlytellmethis.'

'Asyoupromisethat,mylord,'saidRalph,withfeignedreluctance, 'andasIammostanxioustoobligeyou,andasthere'snoharminitnoharmI'lltellyou.But you had better keep it to yourself, my lord; strictly to yourself.' Ralphpointedtotheadjoiningroomashespoke,andnoddedexpressively.

The young lord, feigning to be equally impressedwith the necessity of thisprecaution,Ralphdisclosed thepresent address andoccupationofhisniece,observingthatfromwhatheheardofthefamilytheyappearedveryambitiousto have distinguished acquaintances, and that a lord could, doubtless,introducehimselfwithgreatease,ifhefeltdisposed.

'Yourobjectbeingonlytoseeheragain,'saidRalph,'youcouldeffectitatanytimeyouchosebythatmeans.'

LordVerisophtacknowledgedthehintwithagreatmanysqueezesofRalph'shard, hornyhand, andwhispering that theywouldnowdowell to close theconversation,calledtoSirMulberryHawkthathemightcomeback.

'I thought you had gone to sleep,' said Sir Mulberry, reappearing with anilltemperedair.

'Sorry todetainyou,' replied thegull; 'butNicklebyhasbeen soamaazinglyfunnythatIcouldn'ttearmyselfaway.'

'No,no,'saidRalph;'itwasallhislordship.Youknowwhatawitty,humorous,elegant, accomplished man Lord Frederick is. Mind the step, my lordSirMulberry,praygiveway.'

Withsuchcourtesiesas these,andmany lowbows,and thesamecoldsneerupon his face all the while, Ralph busied himself in showing his visitorsdownstairs, and otherwise than by the slightest possible motion about thecornersofhismouth, returnedno showof answer to the lookof admirationwithwhichSirMulberryHawkseemedtocomplimenthimonbeingsuchanaccomplishedandmostconsummatescoundrel.

Therehadbeenaringatthebellafewminutesbefore,whichwasansweredbyNewman Noggs just as they reached the hall. In the ordinary course of

business Newman would have either admitted the newcomer in silence, orhaverequestedhimorhertostandasidewhilethegentlemenpassedout.Buthenosoonersawwhoitwas,thanasifforsomeprivatereasonofhisown,heboldlydeparted from the established customofRalph'smansion in businesshours,and looking towards therespectable triowhowereapproaching,criedinaloudandsonorousvoice,'MrsNickleby!'

'Mrs Nickleby!' cried Sir Mulberry Hawk, as his friend looked back, andstaredhimintheface.

Itwas,indeed,thatwellintentionedlady,who,havingreceivedanofferfortheemptyhouseinthecitydirectedtothelandlord,hadbroughtitposthastetoMrNicklebywithoutdelay.

'NobodyYOUknow,'saidRalph.'Stepintotheoffice,mymydear.I'llbewithyoudirectly.'

'NobodyIknow!'criedSirMulberryHawk,advancingtotheastonishedlady.'IsthisMrsNicklebythemotherofMissNicklebythedelightfulcreaturethatIhadthehappinessofmeetinginthishousetheverylasttimeIdinedhere?Butno;'saidSirMulberry,stoppingshort.'No,itcan'tbe.Thereisthesamecastoffeatures, thesame indescribableairofButno;no.This lady is tooyoungforthat.'

'Ithinkyoucantellthegentleman,brotherinlaw,ifitconcernshimtoknow,'saidMrsNickleby,acknowledgingthecomplimentwithagracefulbend,'thatKateNicklebyismydaughter.'

'Herdaughter,mylord!'criedSirMulberry,turningtohisfriend. 'Thislady'sdaughter,mylord.'

'Mylord!'thoughtMrsNickleby.'Well,Ineverdid'

'This,then,mylord,'saidSirMulberry,'istheladytowhoseobligingmarriageweowesomuchhappiness.ThisladyisthemotherofsweetMissNickleby.Doyouobservetheextraordinarylikeness,mylord?Nicklebyintroduceus.'

Ralphdidso,inakindofdesperation.

'Upon my soul, it's a most delightful thing,' said Lord Frederick, pressingforward.'Howdedo?'

MrsNicklebywas toomuch flurriedby theseuncommonlykindsalutations,and her regrets at not having on her other bonnet, to make any immediatereply,soshemerelycontinuedtobendandsmile,andbetraygreatagitation.

'AandhowisMissNickleby?'saidLordFrederick.'Well,Ihope?'

'She is quite well, I'm obliged to you, my lord,' returned Mrs Nickleby,recovering.'Quitewell.Shewasn'twellforsomedaysafterthatdayshedinedhere, and I can't help thinking, that she caught cold in that hackney coachcoming home. Hackney coaches, my lord, are such nasty things, that it'salmostbettertowalkatanytime,foralthoughIbelieveahackneycoachmancan be transported for life, if he has a broken window, still they are soreckless,thattheynearlyallhavebrokenwindows.Ioncehadaswelledfaceforsixweeks,mylord,fromridinginahackneycoachIthinkitwasahackneycoach,' saidMrsNicklebyreflecting, 'thoughI'mnotquitecertainwhether itwasn't a chariot; at all events I know itwas a dark green,with a very longnumber,beginningwithanoughtandendingwithanineno,beginningwithanine, and ending with a nought, that was it, and of course the stampofficepeoplewouldknowatoncewhetheritwasacoachorachariotifanyinquiriesweremade therehowever that was, there it was with a brokenwindow andtherewas I for sixweekswitha swelled faceI think thatwas thevery samehackneycoach, thatwe foundout afterwards, had the topopenall the time,andweshouldneverevenhaveknownit,iftheyhadn'tchargedusashillinganhourextraforhavingitopen,whichitseemsisthelaw,orwasthen,andamostshamefullawitappearstobeIdon'tunderstandthesubject,butIshouldsaytheCornLawscouldbenothingtoTHATactofParliament.'

Having pretty well run herself out by this time, Mrs Nickleby stopped assuddenly as she had started off; and repeated that Kate was quite well.'Indeed,'saidMrsNickleby,'Idon'tthinksheeverwasbetter,sinceshehadthehoopingcough, scarletfever, andmeasles, all at the same time, and that's thefact.'

'Is that letter for me?' growled Ralph, pointing to the little packet MrsNicklebyheldinherhand.

'For you, brotherinlaw,' repliedMrsNickleby, 'and Iwalked all theway uphereonpurposetogiveityou.'

'All the way up here!' cried Sir Mulberry, seizing upon the chance ofdiscovering where Mrs Nickleby had come from. 'What a confoundeddistance!Howfardoyoucallitnow?'

'HowfardoIcallit?'saidMrsNickleby.'Letmesee.It'sjustamilefromourdoortotheOldBailey.'

'No,no.Notsomuchasthat,'urgedSirMulberry.

'Oh!Itisindeed,'saidMrsNickleby.'Iappealtohislordship.'

'Ishoulddecidedlysayitwasamile,'remarkedLordFrederick,withasolemnaspect.

'It must be; it can't be a yard less,' saidMrs Nickleby. 'All down NewgateStreet,alldownCheapside,allupLombardStreet,downGracechurchStreet,andalongThamesStreet,asfarasSpigwiffin'sWharf.Oh!It'samile.'

'Yes,onsecond thoughts I shouldsay itwas,' repliedSirMulberry. 'Butyoudon'tsurelymeantowalkallthewayback?'

'Oh,no,'rejoinedMrsNickleby.'Ishallgobackinanomnibus.Ididn'ttravelaboutinomnibuses,whenmypoordearNicholaswasalive,brotherinlaw.Butasitis,youknow'

'Yes,yes,'repliedRalphimpatiently,'andyouhadbettergetbackbeforedark.'

'Thankyou,brotherinlaw,soIhad,'returnedMrsNickleby.'IthinkIhadbettersaygoodbye,atonce.'

'Not stop andrest?' said Ralph, who seldom offered refreshments unlesssomethingwastobegotbyit.

'Ohdearmeno,'returnedMrsNickleby,glancingatthedial.

'LordFrederick,' saidSirMulberry, 'wearegoingMrsNickleby'sway.We'llseehersafetotheomnibus?'

'Byallmeans.Yees.'

'Oh!Ireallycouldn'tthinkofit!'saidMrsNickleby.

But Sir Mulberry Hawk and Lord Verisopht were peremptory in theirpoliteness, and leaving Ralph, who seemed to think, not unwisely, that helookedlessridiculousasamerespectator,thanhewouldhavedoneifhehadtakenanypartintheseproceedings,theyquittedthehousewithMrsNicklebybetweenthem;thatgoodladyinaperfectecstasyofsatisfaction,nolesswiththeattentionsshownherbytwotitledgentlemen,thanwiththeconvictionthatKate might now pick and choose, at least between two large fortunes, andmostunexceptionablehusbands.

Asshewascarriedawayforthemomentbyanirresistibletrainofthought,allconnectedwith her daughter's future greatness, SirMulberry Hawk and hisfriendexchangedglancesover the topof thebonnetwhich thepoor lady somuch regretted not having left at home, and proceeded to dilate with greatrapture,butmuchrespectonthemanifoldperfectionsofMissNickleby.

'Whatadelight,whatacomfort,whatahappiness,thisamiablecreaturemustbe to you,' said Sir Mulberry, throwing into his voice an indication of thewarmestfeeling.

'She is indeed, sir,' replied Mrs Nickleby; 'she is the sweetesttempered,

kindestheartedcreatureandsoclever!'

'Shelooksclayver,'saidLordVerisopht,withtheairofajudgeofcleverness.

'Iassureyousheis,mylord,'returnedMrsNickleby.'Whenshewasatschoolin Devonshire, she was universally allowed to be beyond all exception theverycleverestgirlthere,andtherewereagreatmanyverycleveronestoo,andthat's the truthtwentyfive young ladies, fifty guineas a year without theetceteras,boththeMissDowdlesthemostaccomplished,elegant,fascinatingcreaturesOhdearme!' saidMrsNickleby, 'Inever shall forgetwhatpleasureshe used to giveme and her poor dear papa, when she was at that school,neversuch a delightful letter every halfyear, telling us that shewas the firstpupilinthewholeestablishment,andhadmademoreprogressthananybodyelse!Icanscarcelybeartothinkofitevennow.Thegirlswroteallthelettersthemselves,' added Mrs Nickleby, 'and the writingmaster touched them upafterwardswithamagnifyingglassandasilverpen;atleastIthinktheywrotethem,thoughKatewasneverquitecertainaboutthat,becauseshedidn'tknowthehandwritingofhersagain;butanyway,Iknowitwasacircularwhichtheyallcopied,andofcourseitwasaverygratifyingthingverygratifying.'

WithsimilarrecollectionsMrsNicklebybeguiledthetediousnessoftheway,until they reached the omnibus, which the extreme politeness of her newfriendswouldnotallowthemtoleaveuntilitactuallystarted,whentheytooktheirhats,asMrsNicklebysolemnlyassuredherhearersonmanysubsequentoccasions,'completelyoff,'andkissedtheirstrawcolouredkidglovestilltheywerenolongervisible.

MrsNicklebyleantbackinthefurthestcorneroftheconveyance,and,closingher eyes, resigned herself to a host ofmost pleasingmeditations. Kate hadnever said a word about having met either of these gentlemen; 'that,' shethought, 'argues that she is strongly prepossessed in favour of one of them.'Then the question arose,whichone could it be.The lordwas the youngest,andhistitlewascertainlythegrandest;stillKatewasnotthegirltobeswayedby such considerations as these. 'I will never put any constraint upon herinclinations,'saidMrsNicklebytoherself; 'butuponmywordI thinkthere'snocomparisonbetweenhislordshipandSirMulberrySirMulberryissuchanattentivegentlemanlycreature,somuchmanner,suchafineman,andhassomuch to say for himself. I hope it's Sir MulberryI think it must be SirMulberry!'And then her thoughts flew back to her old predictions, and thenumberof times shehadsaid, thatKatewithno fortunewouldmarrybetterthan other people's daughters with thousands; and, as she picturedwith thebrightnessof amother's fancyall thebeautyandgraceof thepoorgirlwhohadstruggledsocheerfullywithhernewlifeofhardshipand trial,herheartgrewtoofull,andthetearstrickleddownherface.

Meanwhile,Ralphwalkedtoandfroinhislittlebackoffice,troubledinmindbywhat had just occurred.To say thatRalph loved or cared forin themostordinaryacceptationof those termsanyoneofGod'screatures,wouldbe thewildestfiction.Still,therehadsomehowstolenuponhimfromtimetotimeathought of his niece which was tinged with compassion and pity; breakingthrough the dull cloud of dislike or indifference which darkened men andwomen inhis eyes, therewas, inher case, the faintest gleamof lightamostfeeble and sickly ray at thebest of timesbut there itwas, and it showed thepoor girl in a better and purer aspect than any in which he had looked onhumannatureyet.

'Iwish,'thoughtRalph,'Ihadneverdonethis.Andyetitwillkeepthisboytome,whilethereismoneytobemade.Sellingagirlthrowingherinthewayoftemptation,andinsult,andcoarsespeech.Nearlytwothousandpoundsprofitfrom him already though. Pshaw!matchmakingmothers do the same thingeveryday.'

Hesatdown,andtoldthechances,forandagainst,onhisfingers.

'If I had not put them in the right track today,' thought Ralph, 'this foolishwomanwouldhavedoneso.Well.IfherdaughterisastruetoherselfassheshouldbefromwhatIhaveseen,whatharmensues?Alittle teasing,a littlehumbling,afewtears.Yes,'saidRalph,aloud,ashelockedhisironsafe.'Shemusttakeherchance.Shemusttakeherchance.'

CHAPTER27

Mrs Nickleby becomes acquainted with Messrs Pyke and Pluck, whoseAffectionandInterestarebeyondallBounds

MrsNicklebyhadnotfeltsoproudandimportantformanyaday,aswhen,onreachinghome,shegaveherselfwhollyuptothepleasantvisionswhichhadaccompanied her on her way thither. Lady Mulberry Hawkthat was theprevalent idea. Lady Mulberry Hawk!On Tuesday last, at St George's,HanoverSquare,bytheRightReverendtheBishopofLlandaff,SirMulberryHawk, ofMulberryCastle,NorthWales, toCatherine, only daughter of thelateNicholasNickleby, Esquire, ofDevonshire. 'Uponmyword!' criedMrsNicholasNickleby,'itsoundsverywell.'

Havingdispatched the ceremony,with its attendant festivities, to theperfectsatisfactionofherownmind,thesanguinemotherpicturedtoherimaginationa long train of honours and distinctionswhich could not fail to accompany

Kate in her new and brilliant sphere. She would be presented at court, ofcourse.Ontheanniversaryofherbirthday,whichwasuponthenineteenthofJuly('attenminutespastthreeo'clockinthemorning,'thoughtMrsNicklebyin a parenthesis, 'for I recollect asking what o'clock it was'), Sir Mulberrywouldgiveagreatfeasttoallhistenants,andwouldreturnthemthreeandahalf per cent on the amount of their last halfyear's rent, as would be fullydescribed and recorded in the fashionable intelligence, to the immeasurabledelightandadmirationofallthereadersthereof.Kate'spicture,too,wouldbeinatleasthalfadozenoftheannuals,andontheoppositepagewouldappear,indelicatetype,'LinesoncontemplatingthePortraitofLadyMulberryHawk.BySirDinglebyDabber.'Perhaps someoneannual,ofmorecomprehensivedesign than its fellows,might evencontain aportrait of themotherofLadyMulberry Hawk, with lines by the father of Sir Dingleby Dabber. Moreunlikelythingshadcometopass.Lessinterestingportraitshadappeared.Asthis thought occurred to the good lady, her countenance unconsciouslyassumedthatcompoundexpressionofsimperingandsleepinesswhich,beingcommon toall suchportraits, isperhapsone reasonwhy theyarealways socharmingandagreeable.

WithsuchtriumphsofaerialarchitecturedidMrsNicklebyoccupythewholeeveningafterheraccidentalintroductiontoRalph'stitledfriends;anddreams,nolesspropheticandequallypromising,hauntedhersleepthatnight.Shewaspreparing forher frugaldinnernextday, stilloccupiedwith the same ideasalittlesofteneddownperhapsbysleepanddaylightwhenthegirlwhoattendedher, partly for company, andpartly to assist in thehousehold affairs, rushedintotheroominunwontedagitation,andannouncedthattwogentlemenwerewaitinginthepassageforpermissiontowalkupstairs.

'Blessmyheart!'criedMrsNickleby,hastilyarranginghercapandfront,'ifitshouldbedearme,standingin thepassageall this timewhydon'tyougoandaskthemtowalkup,youstupidthing?'

While the girl was gone on this errand,Mrs Nickleby hastily swept into acupboardallvestigesofeatinganddrinking;whichshehadscarcelydone,andseated herself with looks as collected as she could assume, when twogentlemen,bothperfectstrangers,presentedthemselves.

'HowdoyouDO?'saidonegentleman,layinggreatstressonthelastwordoftheinquiry.

'HOWdo you do?' said the other gentleman, altering the emphasis, as if togivevarietytothesalutation.

Mrs Nickleby curtseyed and smiled, and curtseyed again, and remarked,rubbingherhandsasshedidso,thatshehadn'tthereallythehonourto

'Toknowus,'saidthefirstgentleman.'Thelosshasbeenours,MrsNickleby.Hasthelossbeenours,Pyke?'

'Ithas,Pluck,'answeredtheothergentleman.

'Wehaveregretteditveryoften,Ibelieve,Pyke?'saidthefirstgentleman.

'Veryoften,Pluck,'answeredthesecond.

'Butnow,'saidthefirstgentleman,'nowwehavethehappinesswehavepinedandlanguishedfor.Havewepinedandlanguishedforthishappiness,Pyke,orhavewenot?'

'Youknowwehave,Pluck,'saidPyke,reproachfully.

'You hear him, ma'am?' said Mr Pluck, looking round; 'you hear theunimpeachable testimony of my friend Pykethat reminds me,formalities,formalities,mustnotbeneglectedincivilisedsociety.PykeMrsNickleby.'

MrPykelaidhishanduponhisheart,andbowedlow.

'Whether I shall introduce myself with the same formality,' said MrPluck'whetherIshallsaymyselfthatmynameisPluck,orwhetherIshallaskmy friend Pyke (who being now regularly introduced, is competent to theoffice)tostateforme,MrsNickleby,thatmynameisPluck;whetherIshallclaimyour acquaintance on the plain ground of the strong interest I take inyourwelfare,orwhetherIshallmakemyselfknowntoyouasthefriendofSirMulberryHawkthese,MrsNickleby,areconsiderationswhichI leave toyoutodetermine.'

'Any friend of Sir Mulberry Hawk's requires no better introduction to me,'observedMrsNickleby,graciously.

'Itisdelightfultohearyousayso,'saidMrPluck,drawingachairclosetoMrsNickleby,andsittinghimselfdown.'Itisrefreshingtoknowthatyouholdmyexcellentfriend,SirMulberry, insuchhighesteem.Awordinyourear,MrsNickleby.When SirMulberry knows it, he will be a happymanI say,MrsNickleby,ahappyman.Pyke,beseated.'

'MYgoodopinion,'saidMrsNickleby,andthepoor ladyexultedin the ideathat she was marvellously sly,'my good opinion can be of very littleconsequencetoagentlemanlikeSirMulberry.'

'Of little consequence!' exclaimedMr Pluck. 'Pyke, ofwhat consequence toourfriend,SirMulberry,isthegoodopinionofMrsNickleby?'

'Ofwhatconsequence?'echoedPyke.

'Ay,'repeatedPluck;'isitofthegreatestconsequence?'

'Oftheverygreatestconsequence,'repliedPyke.

'MrsNicklebycannotbeignorant,'saidMrPluck,'oftheimmenseimpressionwhichthatsweetgirlhas'

'Pluck!'saidhisfriend,'beware!'

'Pykeisright,'mutteredMrPluck,afterashortpause;'Iwasnottomentionit.Pykeisveryright.Thankyou,Pyke.'

'Wellnow,really,'thoughtMrsNicklebywithinherself.'Suchdelicacyasthat,Ineversaw!'

MrPluck,afterfeigningtobeinaconditionofgreatembarrassmentforsomeminutes,resumedtheconversationbyentreatingMrsNicklebytotakenoheedofwhathehadinadvertentlysaidtoconsiderhimimprudent,rash,injudicious.Theonly stipulationhewouldmake inhis own favourwas, that she shouldgivehimcreditforthebestintentions.

'Butwhen,'saidMrPluck, 'whenIseesomuchsweetnessandbeautyontheonehand,andsomuchardouranddevotionontheother,Ipardonme,Pyke,Ididn'tintendtoresumethattheme.Changethesubject,Pyke.'

'WepromisedSirMulberryandLordFrederick,'saidPyke,'thatwe'dcallthismorningandinquirewhetheryoutookanycoldlastnight.'

'Not the least in theworld last night, sir,' repliedMrsNickleby, 'withmanythankstohislordshipandSirMulberryfordoingmethehonourtoinquire;notthe leastwhich is the more singular, as I really am very subject to colds,indeedverysubject.Ihadacoldonce,'saidMrsNickleby,'Ithinkitwasintheyear eighteen hundred and seventeen; let me see, four and five are nine,andyes,eighteenhundredandseventeen,thatIthoughtInevershouldgetridof;actuallyandseriously,thatIthoughtInevershouldgetridof.IwasonlycuredatlastbyaremedythatIdon'tknowwhetheryoueverhappenedtohearof,MrPluck.Youhaveagallonofwaterashotasyoucanpossiblybear it,withapoundofsalt,andsixpen'orthofthefinestbran,andsitwithyourheadinitfortwentyminuteseverynightjustbeforegoingtobed;at least,Idon'tmeanyourheadyour feet. It's amost extraordinarycureamost extraordinarycure.Iuseditforthefirsttime,Irecollect,thedayafterChristmasDay,andbythe middle of April following the cold was gone. It seems quite a miraclewhen you come to think of it, for I had it ever since the beginning ofSeptember.'

'Whatanafflictingcalamity!'saidMrPyke.

'Perfectlyhorrid!'exclaimedMrPluck.

'Butit'sworththepainofhearing,onlytoknowthatMrsNicklebyrecoveredit,isn'tit,Pluck?'criedMrPyke.

'That is the circumstancewhichgives it such a thrilling interest,' repliedMrPluck.

'Butcome,'saidPyke,asifsuddenlyrecollectinghimself;'wemustnotforgetour mission in the pleasure of this interview.We come on a mission, MrsNickleby.'

'Onamission,'exclaimedthatgoodlady,towhosemindadefiniteproposalofmarriageforKateatoncepresenteditselfinlivelycolours.

'FromSirMulberry,'repliedPyke.'Youmustbeverydullhere.'

'Ratherdull,Iconfess,'saidMrsNickleby.

'Webring thecomplimentsofSirMulberryHawk,anda thousandentreatiesthatyou'lltakeaseatinaprivateboxattheplaytonight,'saidMrPluck.

'Ohdear!'saidMrsNickleby,'Inevergooutatall,never.'

'And that is thevery reason,mydearMrsNickleby,whyyoushouldgoouttonight,'retortedMrPluck.'Pyke,entreatMrsNickleby.'

'Oh,praydo,'saidPyke.

'Youpositivelymust,'urgedPluck.

'Youareverykind,'saidMrsNickleby,hesitating;'but'

'There'snotabutinthecase,mydearMrsNickleby,'remonstratedMrPluck;'notsuchawordinthevocabulary.Yourbrotherinlawjoinsus,LordFrederickjoinsus,SirMulberry joinsus,Pyke joinsusarefusal isoutof thequestion.Sir Mulberry sends a carriage for youtwenty minutes before seven to themomentyou'llnotbesocruelastodisappointthewholeparty,MrsNickleby?'

'Youaresoverypressing,thatIscarcelyknowwhattosay,'repliedtheworthylady.

'Say nothing; not aword, not aword,my dearestmadam,' urgedMr Pluck.'MrsNickleby,'saidthatexcellentgentleman,loweringhisvoice,'thereisthemosttrifling,themostexcusablebreachofconfidenceinwhatIamabouttosay; and yet ifmy friend Pyke there overheard itsuch is thatman's delicatesenseofhonour,MrsNicklebyhe'dhavemeoutbeforedinnertime.'

Mrs Nickleby cast an apprehensive glance at the warlike Pyke, who hadwalkedtothewindow;andMrPluck,squeezingherhand,wenton:

'Yourdaughterhasmadeaconquestaconquestonwhich Imaycongratulate

you.SirMulberry,mydearma'am,SirMulberryisherdevotedslave.Hem!'

'Hah!' cried Mr Pyke at this juncture, snatching something from thechimneypiecewithatheatricalair.'Whatisthis!whatdoIbehold!'

'WhatDOyoubehold,mydearfellow?'askedMrPluck.

'Itistheface,thecountenance,theexpression,'criedMrPyke,fallingintohischairwithaminiature inhishand; 'feeblyportrayed, imperfectlycaught,butstillTHEface,THEcountenance,THEexpression.'

'Irecogniseitatthisdistance!'exclaimedMrPluckinafitofenthusiasm.'Isitnot,mydearmadam,thefaintsimilitudeof'

'It ismy daughter's portrait,' saidMrsNickleby,with great pride.And so itwas.AndlittleMissLaCreevyhadbrought ithomefor inspectiononlytwonightsbefore.

MrPykenosoonerascertainedthathewasquiterightinhisconjecture,thanhelaunchedintothemostextravagantencomiumsofthedivineoriginal;andinthewarmthofhisenthusiasmkissedthepictureathousandtimes,whileMrPluckpressedMrsNickleby'shandtohisheart,andcongratulatedheronthepossessionofsuchadaughter,withsomuchearnestnessandaffection,thatthetears stood, or seemed to stand, in his eyes. Poor Mrs Nickleby, who hadlistened in a state of enviable complacency at first, became at length quiteoverpoweredbythesetokensofregardfor,andattachmentto,thefamily;andeven theservantgirl,whohadpeeped inat thedoor, remainedrooted to thespotinastonishmentattheecstasiesofthetwofriendlyvisitors.

Bydegreestheserapturessubsided,andMrsNicklebywentontoentertainherguestswithalamentoverherfallenfortunes,andapicturesqueaccountofherold house in the country: comprising a full description of the differentapartments,notforgettingthelittlestoreroom,andalivelyrecollectionofhowmanystepsyouwentdowntogetintothegarden,andwhichwayyouturnedwhenyoucameoutattheparlourdoor,andwhatcapitalfixturestherewereinthe kitchen.This last reflection naturally conducted her into thewashhouse,whereshestumbleduponthebrewingutensils,amongwhichshemighthavewanderedforanhour,ifthemerementionofthoseimplementshadnot,byanassociationofideas,instantlyremindedMrPykethathewas'amazingthirsty.'

'AndI'lltellyouwhat,'saidMrPyke;'ifyou'llsendroundtothepublichouseforapotofmilkhalfandhalf,positivelyandactuallyI'lldrinkit.'

AndpositivelyandactuallyMrPykeDIDdrinkit,andMrPluckhelpedhim,whileMrsNicklebylookedonindividedadmirationofthecondescensionofthe two, and the aptitudewithwhich they accommodated themselves to the

pewterpot; inexplanationofwhichseemingmarvelitmaybehereobserved,thatgentlemenwho,likeMessrsPykeandPluck,liveupontheirwits(ornotsomuch,perhaps,uponthepresenceoftheirownwitsasupontheabsenceofwitsinotherpeople)areoccasionallyreducedtoverynarrowshiftsandstraits,andareatsuchperiodsaccustomedtoregalethemselvesinaverysimpleandprimitivemanner.

'Attwentyminutesbeforeseven,then,'saidMrPyke,rising,'thecoachwillbehere.Onemorelookonelittlelookatthatsweetface.Ah!hereitis.Unmoved,unchanged!'This,bytheway,wasaveryremarkablecircumstance,miniaturesbeingliabletosomanychangesofexpression'Oh,Pluck!Pluck!'

MrPluckmadenootherreplythankissingMrsNickleby'shandwithagreatshow of feeling and attachment; Mr Pyke having done the same, bothgentlemenhastilywithdrew.

MrsNicklebywascommonlyinthehabitofgivingherselfcreditforaprettytolerableshareofpenetrationandacuteness,butshehadneverfeltsosatisfiedwithherownsharpsightednessasshedidthatday.Shehadfounditalloutthenight before.Shehadnever seenSirMulberry andKate togethernever evenheardSirMulberry'snameandyethadn'tshesaidtoherselffromtheveryfirst,thatshesawhowthecasestood?andwhatatriumphitwas,fortherewasnownodoubt about it. If these flattering attentions to herselfwere not sufficientproofs,SirMulberry'sconfidentialfriendhadsufferedthesecrettoescapehiminsomanywords.'IamquiteinlovewiththatdearMrPluck,IdeclareIam,'saidMrsNickleby.

Therewasonegreat source of uneasiness in themidst of this good fortune,and thatwas the having nobody by, towhom she could confide it.Once ortwiceshealmostresolvedtowalkstraighttoMissLaCreevy'sandtellitalltoher.'ButIdon'tknow,'thoughtMrsNickleby;'sheisaveryworthyperson,butI am afraid too much beneath Sir Mulberry's station for us to make acompanionof.Poorthing!'Actinguponthisgraveconsiderationsherejectedtheideaoftakingthelittleportraitpainterintoherconfidence,andcontentedherselfwithholdingoutsundryvagueandmysterioushopesofprefermenttotheservantgirl,whoreceived theseobscurehintsofdawninggreatnesswithmuchvenerationandrespect.

Punctualtoitstimecamethepromisedvehicle,whichwasnohackneycoach,but a private chariot, having behind it a footman, whose legs, althoughsomewhatlargeforhisbody,might,asmereabstractlegs,havesetthemselvesup for models at the Royal Academy. It was quite exhilarating to hear theclashandbustlewithwhichhebanged thedoorand jumpedupbehindafterMrsNicklebywasin;andasthatgoodladywasperfectlyunconsciousthatheapplied thegoldheadedendofhis longstick tohisnose,andso telegraphed

mostdisrespectfullytothecoachmanoverherveryhead,shesatinastateofmuchstiffnessanddignity,notalittleproudofherposition.

At the theatre entrance therewasmore banging andmore bustle, and therewere alsoMessrs Pyke and Pluck waiting to escort her to her box; and sopolite were they, thatMr Pyke threatenedwithmany oaths to 'smifligate' averyoldmanwithalanternwhoaccidentallystumbledinherwaytothegreatterror ofMrsNickleby,who, conjecturingmore fromMr Pyke's excitementthan any previous acquaintance with the etymology of the word thatsmifligationandbloodshedmustbeinthemainoneandthesamething,wasalarmed beyond expression, lest something should occur. Fortunately,however, Mr Pyke confined himself to mere verbal smifligation, and theyreachedtheirboxwithnomoreseriousinterruptionbytheway,thanadesireon the part of the same pugnacious gentleman to 'smash' the assistantboxkeeperforhappeningtomistakethenumber.

MrsNicklebyhadscarcelybeenputawaybehindthecurtainoftheboxinanarmchair, when SirMulberry and Lord Verisopht arrived, arrayed from thecrowns of their heads to the tips of their gloves, and from the tips of theirgloves to the toes of their boots, in themost elegant and costlymanner.SirMulberrywas a little hoarser than on the previous day, and LordVerisophtlooked rather sleepy and queer; from which tokens, as well as from thecircumstanceoftheirbothbeingtoatriflingextentunsteadyupontheirlegs,MrsNicklebyjustlyconcludedthattheyhadtakendinner.

'We have beenwe have beentoasting your lovely daughter, Mrs Nickleby,'whisperedSirMulberry,sittingdownbehindher.

'Oh,ho!'thoughtthatknowinglady;'winein,truthout.Youareverykind,SirMulberry.'

'No,nouponmysoul!'repliedSirMulberryHawk.'It'syouthat'skind,uponmysoulitis.Itwassokindofyoutocometonight.'

'So very kind of you to invite me, you mean, Sir Mulberry,' replied MrsNickleby,tossingherhead,andlookingprodigiouslysly.

'Iamsoanxious toknowyou,soanxious tocultivateyourgoodopinion,sodesirous that there should be a delicious kind of harmonious familyunderstanding between us,' said Sir Mulberry, 'that you mustn't think I'mdisinterestedinwhatIdo.I'minfernalselfish;IamuponmysoulIam.'

'Iamsureyoucan'tbeselfish,SirMulberry!'repliedMrsNickleby.'Youhavemuchtooopenandgenerousacountenanceforthat.'

'Whatanextraordinaryobserveryouare!'saidSirMulberryHawk.

'Oh no, indeed, I don't see very far into things, Sir Mulberry,' repliedMrsNickleby,inatoneofvoicewhichleftthebaronettoinferthatshesawveryfarindeed.

'I am quite afraid of you,' said the baronet. 'Upon my soul,' repeated SirMulberry,lookingroundtohiscompanions;'IamafraidofMrsNickleby.Sheissoimmenselysharp.'

MessrsPykeandPluckshooktheirheadsmysteriously,andobservedtogetherthattheyhadfoundthatoutlongago;uponwhichMrsNicklebytittered,andSirMulberrylaughed,andPykeandPluckroared.

'But where's my brotherinlaw, Sir Mulberry?' inquired Mrs Nickleby. 'Ishouldn'tbeherewithouthim.Ihopehe'scoming.'

'Pyke,'saidSirMulberry,takingouthistoothpickandlollingbackinhischair,as if he were too lazy to invent a reply to this question. 'Where's RalphNickleby?'

'Pluck,'saidPyke,imitatingthebaronet'saction,andturningthelieovertohisfriend,'where'sRalphNickleby?'

MrPluckwasabouttoreturnsomeevasivereply,whenthehustlecausedbyaparty entering the next box seemed to attract the attention of all fourgentlemen, who exchanged glances of much meaning. The new partybeginningtoconversetogether,SirMulberrysuddenlyassumedthecharacterof a most attentive listener, and implored his friends not to breathenot tobreathe.

'Whynot?'saidMrsNickleby.'Whatisthematter?'

'Hush!'repliedSirMulberry,layinghishandonherarm. 'LordFrederick,doyourecognisethetonesofthatvoice?'

'DeyvletakemeifIdidn'tthinkitwasthevoiceofMissNickleby.'

'Lor, my lord!' cried Miss Nickleby's mama, thrusting her head round thecurtain.'WhyactuallyKate,mydear,Kate.'

'YOUhere,mama!Isitpossible!'

'Possible,mydear?Yes.'

'Whywhowhoonearthisthatyouhavewithyou,mama?'saidKate,shrinkingbackasshecaughtsightofamansmilingandkissinghishand.

'Whodoyousuppose,mydear?'repliedMrsNickleby,bendingtowardsMrsWititterly,andspeakinga little louder for that lady'sedification. 'There'sMrPyke,MrPluck,SirMulberryHawk,andLordFrederickVerisopht.'

'GraciousHeaven!'thoughtKatehurriedly.'Howcomessheinsuchsociety?'

Now, Kate thought thus SO hurriedly, and the surprise was so great, andmoreover brought back so forcibly the recollection of what had passed atRalph'sdelectabledinner,thatsheturnedextremelypaleandappearedgreatlyagitated,whichsymptomsbeingobservedbyMrsNickleby,wereatoncesetdownbythatacuteladyasbeingcausedandoccasionedbyviolentlove.But,although she was in no small degree delighted by this discovery, whichreflectedsomuchcreditonherownquicknessofperception,itdidnotlessenhermotherlyanxietyinKate'sbehalf;andaccordingly,withavastquantityoftrepidation,shequittedherownboxtohastenintothatofMrsWititterly.MrsWititterly,keenlyalivetothegloryofhavingalordandabaronetamonghervisitingacquaintance,lostnotimeinsigningtoMrWititterlytoopenthedoor,andthusitwasthatinlessthanthirtysecondsMrsNickleby'spartyhadmadean irruption intoMrsWititterly's box,which it filled to the verydoor, therebeinginfactonlyroomforMessrsPykeandPlucktoget in theirheadsandwaistcoats.

'MydearKate,' saidMrsNickleby,kissingherdaughteraffectionately. 'Howillyoulookedamomentago!Youquitefrightenedme,Ideclare!'

'Itwasmerefancy,mama,thethereflectionofthelightsperhaps,'repliedKate,glancingnervouslyround,andfindingitimpossibletowhisperanycautionorexplanation.

'Don'tyouseeSirMulberryHawk,mydear?'

Katebowedslightly,andbitingherlipturnedherheadtowardsthestage.

ButSirMulberryHawkwasnottobesoeasilyrepulsed,forheadvancedwithextended hand; and Mrs Nickleby officiously informing Kate of thiscircumstance, she was obliged to extend her own. SirMulberry detained itwhile he murmured a profusion of compliments, which Kate, rememberingwhathadpassedbetweenthem,rightlyconsideredassomanyaggravationsoftheinsulthehadalreadyputuponher.ThenfollowedtherecognitionofLordVerisopht,and then thegreetingofMrPyke,and then thatofMrPluck,andfinally,tocompletetheyounglady'smortification,shewascompelledatMrsWititterly'srequesttoperformtheceremonyofintroducingtheodiouspersons,whomsheregardedwiththeutmostindignationandabhorrence.

'MrsWititterlyisdelighted,'saidMrWititterly,rubbinghishands; 'delighted,my lord, I am sure, with this opportunity of contracting an acquaintancewhich,Itrust,mylord,weshallimprove.Julia,mydear,youmustnotallowyourself to be too much excited, you must not. Indeed you must not. MrsWititterly isofamostexcitablenature,SirMulberry.Thesnuffofacandle,thewickofalamp,thebloomonapeach,thedownonabutterfly.Youmight

blowheraway,mylord;youmightblowheraway.'

SirMulberryseemedtothinkthatitwouldbeagreatconvenienceiftheladycouldbeblownaway.Hesaid,however,thatthedelightwasmutual,andLordVerisophtaddedthat itwasmutual,whereuponMessrsPykeandPluckwereheardtomurmurfromthedistancethatitwasverymutualindeed.

'I take an interest,my lord,' saidMrsWititterly,with a faint smile, 'such aninterestinthedrama.'

'Yees.It'sveryinteresting,'repliedLordVerisopht.

'I'malwaysillafterShakespeare,'saidMrsWititterly.'Iscarcelyexistthenextday;Ifindthereactionsoverygreatafteratragedy,mylord,andShakespeareissuchadeliciouscreature.'

'Yees!'repliedLordVerisopht.'Hewasaclayverman.'

'Doyouknow,mylord,'saidMrsWititterly,afteralongsilence,'IfindItakesomuchmore interest in his plays, after having been to that dear little dullhousehewasbornin!Wereyoueverthere,mylord?'

'No,nayver,'repliedVerisopht.

'Thenreallyyououghttogo,mylord,'returnedMrsWititterly,inverylanguidanddrawlingaccents. 'Idon'tknowhowitis,butafteryou'veseentheplaceandwrittenyour name in the little book, somehowor other you seem tobeinspired;itkindlesupquiteafirewithinone.'

'Yees!'repliedLordVerisopht,'Ishallcertainlygothere.'

'Julia, my life,' interposed Mr Wititterly, 'you are deceiving hislordshipunintentionally, my lord, she is deceiving you. It is your poeticaltemperament,mydearyouretherealsoulyourfervidimagination,whichthrowsyouintoaglowofgeniusandexcitement.There isnothing in theplace,mydearnothing,nothing.'

'I think theremust be something in the place,' saidMrsNickleby,who hadbeenlisteninginsilence;'for,soonafterIwasmarried,IwenttoStratfordwithmy poor dear Mr Nickleby, in a postchaise from Birminghamwas it apostchaisethough?'saidMrsNickleby,considering;'yes,itmusthavebeenapostchaise, because I recollect remarking at the time that the driver had agreenshadeoverhislefteye;inapostchaisefromBirmingham,andafterwehad seenShakespeare's tomb andbirthplace,wewent back to the inn there,wherewesleptthatnight,andIrecollectthatallnightlongIdreamtofnothingbutablackgentleman,atfulllength,inplasterofParis,withalaydowncollartiedwithtwotassels,leaningagainstapostandthinking;andwhenIwokein

themorning and described him toMrNickleby, he said itwas Shakespearejust as he had been when he was alive, which was very curious indeed.StratfordStratford,' continuedMrsNickleby, considering. 'Yes, I am positiveaboutthat,becauseIrecollectIwasinthefamilywaywithmysonNicholasatthe time, and I hadbeenverymuch frightenedby an Italian imageboy thatverymorning.Infact,itwasquiteamercy,ma'am,'addedMrsNickleby,inawhispertoMrsWititterly,'thatmysondidn'tturnouttobeaShakespeare,andwhatadreadfulthingthatwouldhavebeen!'

WhenMrsNicklebyhadbroughtthisinterestinganecdotetoaclose,PykeandPluck, ever zealous in their patron's cause, proposed the adjournment of adetachment of the party into the next box; andwith somuch skillwere thepreliminaries adjusted, that Kate, despite all she could say or do to thecontrary, had no alternative but to suffer herself to be led away by SirMulberryHawk.HermotherandMrPluckaccompaniedthem,buttheworthylady,plumingherselfuponherdiscretion,tookparticularcarenotsomuchasto look at her daughter during the whole evening, and to seem whollyabsorbed in the jokes and conversation of Mr Pluck, who, having beenappointed sentryoverMrsNickleby for that especial purpose, neglected, onhisside,nopossibleopportunityofengrossingherattention.

Lord Frederick Verisopht remained in the next box to be talked to byMrsWititterly, andMrPykewas in attendance to throw in aword or twowhennecessary. As toMrWititterly, he was sufficiently busy in the body of thehouse,informingsuchofhisfriendsandacquaintanceashappenedtobethere,that those twogentlemenupstairs,whomtheyhadseen inconversationwithMrs W., were the distinguished Lord Frederick Verisopht and his mostintimatefriend,thegaySirMulberryHawkacommunicationwhichinflamedseveral respectable housekeepers with the utmost jealousy and rage, andreducedsixteenunmarrieddaughterstotheverybrinkofdespair.

Theeveningcametoanendatlast,butKatehadyettobehandeddownstairsbythedetestedSirMulberry;andsoskilfullywerethemanoeuvresofMessrsPykeandPluckconducted,thatsheandthebaronetwerethelastoftheparty,and were evenwithout an appearance of effort or designleft at some littledistancebehind.

'Don't hurry, don't hurry,' said Sir Mulberry, as Kate hastened on, andattemptedtoreleaseherarm.

Shemadenoreply,butstillpressedforward.

'Nay,then'coollyobservedSirMulberry,stoppingheroutright.

'Youhadbestnotseektodetainme,sir!'saidKate,angrily.

'Andwhynot?'retortedSirMulberry.'Mydearcreature,nowwhydoyoukeepupthisshowofdispleasure?'

'SHOW!'repeatedKate,indignantly. 'Howdareyoupresumetospeaktome,sirtoaddressmetocomeintomypresence?'

'You look prettier in a passion, Miss Nickleby,' said Sir Mulberry Hawk,stoopingdown,thebettertoseeherface.

'Iholdyouinthebitterestdetestationandcontempt,sir,'saidKate.'Ifyoufindanyattraction in looksofdisgustandaversion,youletme rejoinmy friends,sir, instantly.Whateverconsiderationsmayhavewithheldme thus far, Iwilldisregardthemall,andtakeacoursethatevenYOUmightfeel,ifyoudonotimmediatelysuffermetoproceed.'

Sir Mulberry smiled, and still looking in her face and retaining her arm,walkedtowardsthedoor.

'Ifnoregardformysexorhelplesssituationwillinduceyoutodesistfromthiscoarseandunmanlypersecution,'saidKate,scarcelyknowing,inthetumultofherpassions,whatshesaid,'Ihaveabrotherwhowillresentitdearly,oneday.'

'Uponmysoul!' exclaimedSirMulberry,as thoughquietlycommuningwithhimself; passing his arm round her waist as he spoke, 'she looks morebeautiful,andIlikeherbetterinthismood,thanwhenhereyesarecastdown,andsheisinperfectrepose!'

HowKatereachedthelobbywhereherfriendswerewaitingsheneverknew,butshehurriedacrossitwithoutatallregardingthem,anddisengagedherselfsuddenly from her companion, sprang into the coach, and throwing herselfintoitsdarkestcornerburstintotears.

MessrsPykeandPluck,knowingtheircue,atoncethrewthepartyintogreatcommotionbyshoutingforthecarriages,andgettingupaviolentquarrelwithsundry inoffensive bystanders; in the midst of which tumult they put theaffrightedMrsNickleby inherchariot,andhavinggothersafelyoff, turnedtheirthoughtstoMrsWititterly,whoseattentionalsotheyhadnoweffectuallydistracted from the young lady, by throwing her into a state of the utmostbewildermentandconsternation.Atlength,theconveyanceinwhichshehadcomerolledofftoowithitsload,andthefourworthies,beingleftaloneundertheportico,enjoyedaheartylaughtogether.

'There,' said SirMulberry, turning to his noble friend. 'Didn't I tell you lastnightthatifwecouldfindwheretheyweregoingbybribingaservantthroughmy fellow, and then established ourselves close by with the mother, thesepeople's honour would be our own?Why here it is, done in fourandtwenty

hours.'

'Yees,'repliedthedupe.'ButIhavebeentiedtotheoldwomanallniight.'

'Hear him,' said Sir Mulberry, turning to his two friends. 'Hear thisdiscontentedgrumbler.Isn'titenoughtomakeamanswearnevertohelphiminhisplotsandschemesagain?Isn'titaninfernalshame?'

PykeaskedPluckwhetheritwasnotaninfernalshame,andPluckaskedPyke;butneitheranswered.

'Isn'titthetruth?'demandedVerisopht.'Wasn'titso?'

'Wasn'titso!'repeatedSirMulberry.'Howwouldyouhavehadit?Howcouldwehavegotageneralinvitationatfirstsightcomewhenyoulike,gowhenyoulike,stopaslongasyoulike,dowhatyoulikeifyou,thelord,hadnotmadeyourselfagreeabletothefoolishmistressofthehouse?DoIcareforthisgirl,exceptasyour friend?Haven't Ibeensoundingyourpraises inherears,andbearingherprettysulksandpeevishnessallnightforyou?Whatsortofstuffdo you think I'mmade of?Would I do this for everyman?Don't I deserveevengratitudeinreturn?'

'You're adeyvlishgood fellow,' said thepooryoung lord, takinghis friend'sarm.'Uponmylifeyou'readeyvlishgoodfellow,Hawk.'

'AndIhavedoneright,haveI?'demandedSirMulberry.

'Quiteright.'

'Andlikeapoor,silly,goodnatured,friendlydogasIam,eh?'

'Yees,yees;likeafriend,'repliedtheother.

'Wellthen,'repliedSirMulberry,'I'msatisfied.Andnowlet'sgoandhaveourrevenge on theGerman baron and the Frenchman,who cleaned you out sohandsomelylastnight.'

Withthesewordsthefriendlycreaturetookhiscompanion'sarmandledhimaway, turning half round as he did so, and bestowing a wink and acontemptuous smile on Messrs Pyke and Pluck, who, cramming theirhandkerchiefsintotheirmouthstodenotetheirsilentenjoymentofthewholeproceedings,followedtheirpatronandhisvictimatalittledistance.

CHAPTER28

MissNickleby,rendereddesperatebythePersecutionofSirMulberryHawk,andtheComplicatedDifficultiesandDistresseswhichsurroundher,appeals,asalastresource,toherUncleforProtection

Theensuingmorningbroughtreflectionwithit,asmorningusuallydoes;butwidelydifferentwasthetrainofthoughtitawakenedinthedifferentpersonswhohadbeensounexpectedlybroughttogetherontheprecedingevening,bytheactiveagencyofMessrsPykeandPluck.

The reflections of Sir Mulberry Hawkif such a term can be applied to thethoughts of the systematic and calculating man of dissipation, whose joys,regrets, pains, and pleasures, are all of self, andwhowould seem to retainnothing of the intellectual faculty but the power to debase himself, and todegradetheverynaturewhoseoutwardsemblancehewearsthereflectionsofSirMulberryHawk turned uponKateNickleby, andwere, in brief, that shewasundoubtedlyhandsome;thathercoynessMUSTbeeasilyconquerablebyamanofhisaddressandexperience,andthatthepursuitwasonewhichcouldnotfailtoredoundtohiscredit,andgreatlytoenhancehisreputationwiththeworld. And lest this last considerationno mean or secondary one with SirMulberryshouldsoundstrangelyintheearsofsome,letitberememberedthatmostmenliveinaworldoftheirown,andthatinthatlimitedcirclealonearetheyambitiousfordistinctionandapplause.SirMulberry'sworldwaspeopledwithprofligates,andheactedaccordingly.

Thus,casesofinjustice,andoppression,andtyranny,andthemostextravagantbigotry, are in constant occurrence among us every day. It is the custom totrumpetforthmuchwonderandastonishmentatthechiefactorsthereinsettingat defiance so completely the opinion of the world; but there is no greaterfallacy; it ispreciselybecause theydoconsult theopinionof theirownlittleworldthatsuchthingstakeplaceatall,andstrikethegreatworlddumbwithamazement.

The reflections ofMrsNicklebywere of the proudest andmost complacentkind;andunder theinfluenceofherveryagreeabledelusionshestraightwaysatdownandinditeda longletter toKate, inwhichsheexpressedherentireapprovaloftheadmirablechoiceshehadmade,andextolledSirMulberrytothe skies; asserting, for the more complete satisfaction of her daughter'sfeelings,thathewaspreciselytheindividualwhomshe(MrsNickleby)wouldhavechosenforhersoninlaw,ifshehadhadthepickingandchoosingfromallmankind.Thegoodladythen,withthepreliminaryobservationthatshemightbefairlysupposednottohavelivedintheworldsolongwithoutknowingitsways, communicated a greatmany subtle precepts applicable to the state ofcourtship, and confirmed in their wisdom by her own personal experience.Aboveallthingsshecommendedastrictmaidenlyreserve,asbeingnotonlya

very laudable thing in itself, but as tending materially to strengthen andincrease a lover's ardour. 'And I never,' added Mrs Nickleby, 'was moredelightedinmylifethantoobservelastnight,mydear,thatyourgoodsensehad already told you this.' With which sentiment, and various hints of thepleasureshederivedfromtheknowledgethatherdaughterinheritedsolargean instalment of her own excellent sense and discretion (to nearly the fullmeasure of which she might hope, with care, to succeed in time), MrsNicklebyconcludedaverylongandratherillegibleletter.

PoorKatewaswellnigh distracted on the receipt of four closelywritten andcloselycrossedsidesofcongratulationontheverysubjectwhichhadpreventedher closing her eyes all night, and kept her weeping and watching in herchamber; stillworse andmore tryingwas the necessity of rendering herselfagreeable toMrsWititterly,who,being in lowspiritsafter thefatigueof thepreceding night, of course expected her companion (elsewherefore had sheboard and salary?) to be in the best spirits possible.As toMrWititterly, hewentaboutalldayinatremorofdelightathavingshakenhandswithalord,andhavingactuallyaskedhimtocomeandseehiminhisownhouse.Thelordhimself, not being troubled to any inconvenient extent with the power ofthinking, regaled himself with the conversation ofMessrs Pyke and Pluck,whosharpenedtheirwitbyaplentifulindulgenceinvariouscostlystimulantsathisexpense.

It was four in the afternoonthat is, the vulgar afternoon of the sun and theclockandMrsWititterly reclined, according to custom, on the drawingroomsofa,whileKatereadaloudanewnovelinthreevolumes,entitled'TheLadyFlabella,'whichAlphonsethedoubtfulhadprocuredfromthelibrarythatverymorning.AnditwasaproductionadmirablysuitedtoaladylabouringunderMrs Wititterly's complaint, seeing that there was not a line in it, frombeginning toend,whichcould,by themost remotecontingency,awaken thesmallestexcitementinanypersonbreathing.

Katereadon.

'"Cherizette,"saidtheLadyFlabella, insertinghermouselikefeet in thebluesatin slippers, which had unwittingly occasioned the halfplayful halfangryaltercationbetweenherselfandtheyouthfulColonelBefillaire,intheDukeofMincefenille's SALONDEDANSE on the previous night. "CHERIZETTE,MACHERE,DONNEZMOIDEL'EAUDECOLOGNE,S'ILVOUSPLAIT,MONENFANT."

'"MERCIEthank you," said the Lady Flabella, as the lively but devotedCherizette plentifully besprinkled with the fragrant compound the LadyFlabella's MOUCHOIR of finest cambric, edged with richest lace, andemblazonedatthefourcornerswiththeFlabellacrest,andgorgeousheraldic

bearingsofthatnoblefamily."MERCIEthatwilldo."

'Atthisinstant,whiletheLadyFlabellayetinhaledthatdeliciousfragrancebyholdingtheMOUCHOIRtoherexquisite,butthoughtfullychisellednose,thedooroftheBOUDOIR(artfullyconcealedbyrichhangingsofsilkendamask,thehueof Italy's firmament)was thrownopen,andwithnoiseless tread twoVALETSDECHAMBRE, clad in sumptuous liveries of peachblossom andgold, advanced into the room followed by a page in BAS DE SOIEsilkstockingswho,whiletheyremainedatsomedistancemakingthemostgracefulobeisances,advanced to thefeetofhis lovelymistress,anddroppingononekneepresented,onagoldensalvergorgeouslychased,ascentedBILLET.

'TheLadyFlabella,withanagitationshecouldnotrepress,hastilytoreofftheENVELOPEandbrokethescentedseal.ItWASfromBefillairetheyoung,theslim,thelowvoicedHEROWNBefillaire.'

'Oh, charming!' interrupted Kate's patroness, who was sometimes takenliterary.'Poetic,really.Readthatdescriptionagain,MissNickleby.'

Katecomplied.

'Sweet, indeed!' saidMrsWititterly,with a sigh. 'So voluptuous, is it notsosoft?'

'Yes,Ithinkitis,'repliedKate,gently;'verysoft.'

'Closethebook,MissNickleby,'saidMrsWititterly.'Icanhearnothingmoretoday; I should be sorry to disturb the impression of that sweet description.Closethebook.'

Katecomplied,notunwillingly;and,asshedidso,MrsWititterlyraisingherglasswithalanguidhand,remarked,thatshelookedpale.

'Itwasthefrightofthatthatnoiseandconfusionlastnight,'saidKate.

'How very odd!' exclaimed Mrs Wititterly, with a look of surprise. Andcertainly,whenonecomestothinkofit,itWASveryoddthatanythingshouldhave disturbed a companion. A steamengine, or other ingenious piece ofmechanismoutoforder,wouldhavebeennothingtoit.

'How did you come to know Lord Frederick, and those other delightfulcreatures,child?'askedMrsWititterly,stilleyeingKatethroughherglass.

'I met them at my uncle's,' said Kate, vexed to feel that she was colouringdeeply,butunabletokeepdownthebloodwhichrushedtoherfacewhenevershethoughtofthatman.

'Haveyouknownthemlong?'

'No,'rejoinedKate.'Notlong.'

'Iwasverygladoftheopportunitywhichthatrespectableperson,yourmother,gaveusofbeingknowntothem,'saidMrsWititterly,inaloftymanner.'Somefriendsofourswereontheverypointofintroducingus,whichmakesitquiteremarkable.'

Thiswas said lestMissNickleby should grow conceited on the honour anddignityofhavingknownfourgreatpeople(forPykeandPluckwereincludedamongthedelightfulcreatures),whomMrsWititterlydidnotknow.ButasthecircumstancehadmadenoimpressiononewayorotheruponKate'smind,theforceoftheobservationwasquitelostuponher.

'Theyaskedpermissiontocall,'saidMrsWititterly.'Igaveitthemofcourse.'

'Doyouexpectthemtoday?'Kateventuredtoinquire.

MrsWititterly's answerwas lost in thenoiseofa tremendous rappingat thestreetdoor, and before it had ceased to vibrate, there drove up a handsomecabriolet, out of which leaped Sir Mulberry Hawk and his friend LordVerisopht.

'Theyareherenow,'saidKate,risingandhurryingaway.

'Miss Nickleby!' cried Mrs Wititterly, perfectly aghast at a companion'sattempting to quit the room,without her permission first had and obtained.'Praydon'tthinkofgoing.'

'Youareverygood!'repliedKate.'But'

'Forgoodness'sake,don'tagitatemebymakingmespeaksomuch,'saidMrsWititterly,withgreatsharpness.'Dearme,MissNickleby,Ibeg'

ItwasinvainforKatetoprotestthatshewasunwell,forthefootstepsoftheknockers, whoever they were, were already on the stairs. She resumed herseat,andhadscarcelydoneso,whenthedoubtfulpagedarted into theroomandannounced,MrPyke,andMrPluck,andLordVerisopht,andSirMulberryHawk,allatoneburst.

'Themostextraordinarythingintheworld,'saidMrPluck,salutingbothladieswith the utmost cordiality; 'themost extraordinary thing.AsLordFrederickandSirMulberrydroveuptothedoor,PykeandIhadthatinstantknocked.'

'Thatinstantknocked,'saidPyke.

'Nomatterhowyoucame,sothatyouarehere,'saidMrsWititterly,who,bydintof lyingon thesamesofa for threeyearsandahalf,hadgotupquitealittle pantomime of graceful attitudes, and now threw herself into the most

strikingofthewholeseries,toastonishthevisitors.'Iamdelighted,Iamsure.'

'AndhowisMissNickleby?'saidSirMulberryHawk,accostingKate,inalowvoicenotsolow,however,butthatitreachedtheearsofMrsWititterly.

'Why,shecomplainsofsufferingfromthefrightoflastnight,'saidthelady.'IamsureIdon'twonderatit,formynervesarequitetorntopieces.'

'Andyetyoulook,'observedSirMulberry,turninground;'andyetyoulook'

'Beyond everything,' said Mr Pyke, coming to his patron's assistance. OfcourseMrPlucksaidthesame.

'IamafraidSirMulberryisaflatterer,mylord,'saidMrsWititterly,turningtothatyounggentleman,whohadbeensuckingtheheadofhiscaneinsilence,andstaringatKate.

'Oh,deyvlish!'repliedVerisopht.Havinggivenutterancetowhichremarkablesentiment,heoccupiedhimselfasbefore.

'NeitherdoesMissNickleby look theworse,' saidSirMulberry,bendinghisboldgazeuponher.'Shewasalwayshandsome,butuponmysoul,ma'am,youseemtohaveimpartedsomeofyourowngoodlookstoherbesides.'

Tojudgefromtheglowwhichsuffusedthepoorgirl'scountenanceafter thisspeech,MrsWititterlymight,withsomeshowofreason,havebeensupposedtohaveimpartedtoitsomeofthatartificialbloomwhichdecoratedherown.MrsWititterlyadmitted,thoughnotwiththebestgraceintheworld,thatKateDIDlookpretty.Shebegan to think, too, thatSirMulberrywasnotquitesoagreeableacreatureas shehadat first supposedhim; for, althougha skilfulflattererisamostdelightfulcompanionifyoucankeephimalltoyourself,histastebecomesverydoubtfulwhenhetakestocomplimentingotherpeople.

'Pyke,' said thewatchfulMrPluck, observing the effectwhich the praise ofMissNicklebyhadproduced.

'Well,Pluck,'saidPyke.

'Isthereanybody,'demandedMrPluck,mysteriously,'anybodyyouknow,thatMrsWititterly'sprofileremindsyouof?'

'Remindsmeof!'answeredPyke.'Ofcoursethereis.'

'Whodoyoumean?' saidPluck, in the samemysteriousmanner. 'TheD.ofB.?'

'TheC.ofB.,' repliedPyke,with the faintest traceofagrin lingering inhiscountenance.'Thebeautifulsisteristhecountess;nottheduchess.'

'True,'saidPluck,'theC.ofB.Theresemblanceiswonderful!'

'Perfectlystartling,'saidMrPyke.

Herewasastateofthings!MrsWititterlywasdeclared,uponthetestimonyoftwoveraciousandcompetentwitnesses,tobetheverypictureofacountess!Thiswasoneoftheconsequencesofgettingintogoodsociety.Why,shemighthavemovedamonggrovellingpeoplefortwentyyears,andneverheardofit.Howcouldshe,indeed?whatdidTHEYknowaboutcountesses?

The twogentlemenhaving,by thegreedinesswithwhich this littlebaitwasswallowed, tested the extent of Mrs Wititterly's appetite for adulation,proceededtoadministerthatcommodityinverylargedoses,thusaffordingtoSirMulberryHawkanopportunityofpesteringMissNicklebywithquestionsand remarks, to which she was absolutely obliged to make some reply.Meanwhile, LordVerisopht enjoyed unmolested the full flavour of the goldknobatthetopofhiscane,ashewouldhavedonetotheendoftheinterviewifMrWititterlyhadnotcomehome,andcausedtheconversationtoturntohisfavouritetopic.

'Mylord,'saidMrWititterly, 'Iamdelightedhonouredproud.Beseatedagain,mylord,pray.Iamproud,indeedmostproud.'

ItwastothesecretannoyanceofhiswifethatMrWititterlysaidallthis,for,althoughshewasburstingwithprideandarrogance,shewouldhavehadtheillustriousguestsbelievethattheirvisitwasquiteacommonoccurrence,andthat theyhad lordsandbaronets tosee themeveryday in theweek.ButMrWititterly'sfeelingswerebeyondthepowerofsuppression.

'Itisanhonour,indeed!'saidMrWititterly.'Julia,mysoul,youwillsufferforthistomorrow.'

'Suffer!'criedLordVerisopht.

'The reaction, my lord, the reaction,' saidMrWititterly. 'This violent strainuponthenervoussystemover,mylord,whatensues?Asinking,adepression,a lowness,a lassitude,adebility.Mylord, ifSirTumleySnuffimwastoseethatdelicatecreatureatthismoment,hewouldnotgiveaaTHISforherlife.'Inillustrationofwhichremark,MrWititterlytookapinchofsnufffromhisbox,andjerkeditlightlyintotheairasanemblemofinstability.

'NotTHAT,'saidMrWititterly,lookingabouthimwithaseriouscountenance.'SirTumleySnuffimwouldnotgivethatforMrsWititterly'sexistence.'

MrWititterlytoldthiswithakindofsoberexultation,asifitwerenotriflingdistinction for a man to have a wife in such a desperate state, and MrsWititterlysighedandlookedon,asifshefeltthehonour,buthaddetermined

tobearitasmeeklyasmightbe.

'MrsWititterly,'saidherhusband,'isSirTumleySnuffim'sfavouritepatient.IbelieveImayventuretosay, thatMrsWititterlyis thefirstpersonwhotookthenewmedicinewhichissupposedtohavedestroyedafamilyatKensingtonGravelPits.Ibelieveshewas.IfIamwrong,Julia,mydear,youwillcorrectme.'

'IbelieveIwas,'saidMrsWititterly,inafaintvoice.

As thereappeared tobesomedoubt in themindofhispatronhowhecouldbestjoininthisconversation,theindefatigableMrPykethrewhimselfintothebreach,and,bywayofsayingsomethingtothepoint,inquiredwithreferencetotheaforesaidmedicinewhetheritwasnice.

'No,sir,itwasnot.Ithadnoteventhatrecommendation,'saidMrW.

'MrsWititterlyisquiteamartyr,'observedPyke,withacomplimentarybow.

'ITHINKIam,'saidMrsWititterly,smiling.

'Ithinkyouare,mydearJulia,'repliedherhusband,inatonewhichseemedtosaythathewasnotvain,butstillmustinsistupontheirprivileges.'Ifanybody,mylord,'addedMrWititterly,wheelingroundtothenobleman,'willproducetomeagreatermartyrthanMrsWititterly,allIcansayis,thatIshallbegladtoseethatmartyr,whethermaleorfemalethat'sall,mylord.'

PykeandPluckpromptlyremarkedthatcertainlynothingcouldbefairerthanthat; and thecallhavingbeenby this timeprotracted toaverygreat length,theyobeyedSirMulberry's look, and rose togo.ThisbroughtSirMulberryhimself and Lord Verisopht on their legs also. Many protestations offriendship,andexpressionsanticipativeofthepleasurewhichmustinevitablyflow from so happy an acquaintance, were exchanged, and the visitorsdeparted,withrenewedassurancesthatatalltimesandseasonsthemansionoftheWititterlyswouldbehonouredbyreceivingthembeneathitsroof.

Thattheycameatalltimesandseasonsthattheydinedthereoneday,suppedthe next, dined again on the next, andwere constantly to and fro on allthattheymade parties to visit public places, andmet by accident at loungesthatupon all these occasions Miss Nickleby was exposed to the constant andunremitting persecution of SirMulberry Hawk, who now began to feel hischaracter, even in the estimation of his two dependants, involved in thesuccessful reduction of her pridethat she had no intervals of peace or rest,exceptatthosehourswhenshecouldsitinhersolitaryroom,andweepoverthe trials of the dayall these were consequences naturally flowing from thewelllaid plans of Sir Mulberry, and their able execution by the auxiliaries,

PykeandPluck.

Andthusforafortnightmatterswenton.ThatanybuttheweakestandsilliestofpeoplecouldhaveseeninoneinterviewthatLordVerisopht,thoughhewasa lord, andSirMulberryHawk, though hewas a baronet,were not personsaccustomed to be the best possible companions, and were certainly notcalculatedbyhabits,manners, tastes,orconversation,toshinewithanyverygreatlustreinthesocietyofladies,needscarcelyberemarked.ButwithMrsWititterly the two titles were all sufficient; coarseness became humour,vulgaritysoftened itselfdowninto themostcharmingeccentricity; insolencetooktheguiseofaneasyabsenceofreserve,attainableonlybythosewhohadhadthegoodfortunetomixwithhighfolks.

Ifthemistressputsuchaconstructionuponthebehaviourofhernewfriends,whatcouldthecompanionurgeagainstthem?Iftheyaccustomedthemselvesto very little restraint before the lady of the house, with how much morefreedomcouldtheyaddressherpaiddependent!Norwaseventhistheworst.AstheodiousSirMulberryHawkattachedhimselftoKatewithlessandlessofdisguise,MrsWititterlybegantogrowjealousofthesuperiorattractionsofMissNickleby.Ifthisfeelinghadledtoherbanishmentfromthedrawingroomwhen such company was there, Kate would have been only too happy andwillingthatitshouldhaveexisted,butunfortunatelyforhershepossessedthatnative grace and true gentility of manner, and those thousand namelessaccomplishmentswhichgivetofemalesocietyitsgreatestcharm;if thesebevaluableanywhere,theywereespeciallysowheretheladyofthehousewasamere animated doll. The consequence was, that Kate had the doublemortificationofbeingan indispensablepartof thecirclewhenSirMulberryandhisfriendswerethere,andofbeingexposed,onthatveryaccount,toallMrsWititterly's illhumours and capriceswhen theywere gone. She becameutterlyandcompletelymiserable.

MrsWititterlyhadneverthrownoffthemaskwithregardtoSirMulberry,butwhenshewasmorethanusuallyoutoftemper,attributedthecircumstance,asladiessometimesdo, tonervous indisposition.However,as thedreadful ideathat LordVerisopht alsowas somewhat takenwithKate, and that she,MrsWititterly,was quite a secondary person, dawned upon that lady'smind andgradually developed itself, she became possessed with a large quantity ofhighlyproperandmostvirtuousindignation,andfeltitherduty,asamarriedladyandamoralmemberofsociety,tomentionthecircumstanceto'theyoungperson'withoutdelay.

AccordinglyMrsWititterlybrokegroundnextmorning,duringapauseinthenovelreading.

'MissNickleby,'saidMrsWititterly,'Iwishtospeaktoyouverygravely.Iam

sorry tohave todo it, uponmyword I amvery sorry,butyou leavemenoalternative, Miss Nickleby.' Here Mrs Wititterly tossed her headnotpassionately, only virtuouslyand remarked, with some appearance ofexcitement,thatshefearedthatpalpitationoftheheartwascomingonagain.

'Yourbehaviour,MissNickleby,' resumedthelady, 'isveryfarfrompleasingmevery far. I amveryanxious indeed thatyoushoulddowell,butyoumaydependuponit,MissNickleby,youwillnot,ifyougoonasyoudo.'

'Ma'am!'exclaimedKate,proudly.

'Don't agitate me by speaking in that way, Miss Nickleby, don't,' said MrsWititterly,withsomeviolence,'oryou'llcompelmetoringthebell.'

Katelookedather,butsaidnothing.

'Youneedn'tsuppose,'resumedMrsWititterly,'thatyourlookingatmeinthatway,MissNickleby,willpreventmysayingwhatIamgoingtosay,whichIfeel tobeareligiousduty.Youneedn'tdirectyourglances towardsme,'saidMrsWititterly,with a suddenburstof spite; 'I amnotSirMulberry,no,norLord FrederickVerisopht,MissNickleby, nor am IMr Pyke, norMr Pluckeither.'

Katelookedatheragain,butlesssteadilythanbefore;andrestingherelbowonthetable,coveredhereyeswithherhand.

'If such things had beendonewhen Iwas a younggirl,' saidMrsWititterly(this, by theway,must have been some little time before), 'I don't supposeanybodywouldhavebelievedit.'

'I don't think they would,' murmured Kate. 'I do not think anybody wouldbelieve,withoutactuallyknowingit,whatIseemdoomedtoundergo!'

'Don't talktomeofbeingdoomedtoundergo,MissNickleby,ifyouplease,'saidMrsWititterly,with a shrillness of tone quite surprising in so great aninvalid. 'Iwill not be answered,MissNickleby. I am not accustomed to beanswered,norwillIpermititforaninstant.Doyouhear?'sheadded,waitingwithsomeapparentinconsistencyFORananswer.

'Idohearyou,ma'am,'repliedKate,'withsurprisewithgreatersurprisethanIcanexpress.'

'I have always considered you a particularly wellbehaved young person foryour station in life,' saidMrsWititterly; 'andasyouare apersonofhealthyappearance,andneatinyourdressandsoforth,Ihavetakenaninterestinyou,as I do still, considering that I owe a sort of duty to that respectable oldfemale,yourmother.For these reasons,MissNickleby, Imust tellyouonce

for all, and begging you to mind what I say, that I must insist upon yourimmediatelyalteringyourveryforwardbehaviourtothegentlemanwhovisitatthishouse.Itreallyisnotbecoming,'saidMrsWititterly,closingherchasteeyesasshespoke;'itisimproperquiteimproper.'

'Oh!'criedKate, lookingupwardsandclaspingherhands; 'isnot this, isnotthis,toocruel,toohardtobear!IsitnotenoughthatIshouldhavesufferedasIhave,nightandday; that I shouldalmosthavesunk inmyownestimationfromvery shameof havingbeenbrought into contactwith suchpeople; butmustIalsobeexposedtothisunjustandmostunfoundedcharge!'

'Youwillhavethegoodnesstorecollect,MissNickleby,'saidMrsWititterly,'thatwhenyouusesuchtermsas"unjust",and"unfounded",youchargeme,ineffect,withstatingthatwhichisuntrue.'

'Ido,'saidKatewithhonestindignation.'Whetheryoumakethisaccusationofyourself,oratthepromptingofothers,isaliketome.IsayitISvilely,grossly,wilfully untrue. Is it possible!' criedKate, 'that anyone ofmy own sex canhave sat by, and not have seen themisery thesemen have causedme? Is itpossible that you, ma'am, can have been present, and failed to mark theinsulting freedom that their every look bespoke? Is it possible that you canhaveavoidedseeing,thattheselibertines,intheirutterdisrespectforyou,andutterdisregardofallgentlemanlybehaviour,andalmostofdecency,havehadbutoneobjectinintroducingthemselveshere,andthatthefurtheranceoftheirdesigns upon a friendless, helpless girl, who, without this humiliatingconfession, might have hoped to receive from one so much her seniorsomethinglikewomanlyaidandsympathy?IdonotIcannotbelieveit!'

IfpoorKatehadpossessedtheslightestknowledgeoftheworld,shecertainlywould not have ventured, even in the excitement into which she had beenlashed,uponsuchaninjudiciousspeechasthis.Itseffectwaspreciselywhatamoreexperiencedobserverwouldhaveforeseen.MrsWititterly received theattackuponherveracitywithexemplarycalmness,andlistenedwiththemostheroic fortitude toKate's account of her own sufferings. But allusion beingmade to her being held in disregard by the gentlemen, she evinced violentemotion,andthisblowwasnosoonerfollowedupbytheremarkconcerningherseniority,thanshefellbackuponthesofa,utteringdismalscreams.

'What is thematter?' criedMrWititterly, bouncing into the room. 'Heavens,whatdoIsee?Julia!Julia!lookup,mylife,lookup!'

But Julia lookeddownmostperseveringly, and screamed still louder; soMrWititterly rang the bell, and danced in a frenziedmanner round the sofa onwhichMrsWititterlylay;utteringperpetualcriesforSirTumleySnuffim,andneveronceleavingofftoaskforanyexplanationofthescenebeforehim.

'RunforSirTumley,'criedMrWititterly,menacingthepagewithbothfists.'Iknew it, Miss Nickleby,' he said, looking round with an air of melancholytriumph, 'that societyhasbeen toomuch forher.This isall soul,youknow,everybitofit.'WiththisassuranceMrWititterlytookuptheprostrateformofMrsWititterly,andcarriedherbodilyofftobed.

KatewaiteduntilSirTumleySnuffimhadpaidhisvisitandlookedinwithareport, that, through the special interposition of amerciful Providence (thusspakeSirTumley),MrsWititterlyhadgonetosleep.Shethenhastilyattiredherselfforwalking,andleavingwordthatsheshouldreturnwithinacoupleofhours,hurriedawaytowardsheruncle'shouse.

It had been a good day with Ralph Nicklebyquite a lucky day; and as hewalked toand fro inhis littlebackroomwithhishandsclaspedbehindhim,adding up in his ownmind all the sums that had been, orwould be, nettedfromthebusinessdonesincemorning,hismouthwasdrawnintoahardsternsmile;whilethefirmnessofthelinesandcurvesthatmadeitup,aswellasthecunningglanceofhiscold,brighteye,seemedtotell,thatifanyresolutionorcunningwould increase theprofits, theywouldnot fail tobeexcited for thepurpose.

'Verygood!'saidRalph,inallusion,nodoubt,tosomeproceedingoftheday.'Hedefiestheusurer,doeshe?Well,weshallsee."Honestyisthebestpolicy,"isit?We'lltrythattoo.'

Hestopped,andthenwalkedonagain.

'He iscontent,' saidRalph, relaxing intoa smile, 'to sethisknowncharacterandconductagainstthepowerofmoneydross,ashecallsit.Why,whatadullblockheadthisfellowmustbe!Drossto,dross!Who'sthat?'

'Me,'saidNewmanNoggs,lookingin.'Yourniece.'

'Whatofher?'askedRalphsharply.

'She'shere.'

'Here!'

Newman jerked his head towards his little room, to signify that she waswaitingthere.

'Whatdoesshewant?'askedRalph.

'Idon'tknow,'rejoinedNewman.'ShallIask?'headdedquickly.

'No,' replied Ralph. 'Show her in! Stay.' He hastily put away a padlockedcashbox that was on the table, and substituted in its stead an empty purse.

'There,'saidRalph.'NOWshemaycomein.'

Newman,with a grim smile at thismanoeuvre, beckoned the young lady toadvance,andhavingplacedachairforher,retired;lookingstealthilyoverhisshoulderatRalphashelimpedslowlyout.

'Well,'saidRalph,roughlyenough;butstillwithsomethingmoreofkindnessin his manner than he would have exhibited towards anybody else. 'Well,mydear.Whatnow?'

Kateraisedhereyes,whichwerefilledwithtears;andwithanefforttomasterher emotion strove to speak, but in vain. So drooping her head again, sheremainedsilent.Herfacewashiddenfromhisview,butRalphcouldseethatshewasweeping.

'I can guess the cause of this!' thoughtRalph, after looking at her for sometimeinsilence. 'IcanIcanguessthecause.Well!Well!' thoughtRalphforthemomentquitedisconcerted,ashewatchedtheanguishofhisbeautifulniece.'Where is theharm?onlya fewtears;and it'sanexcellent lessonforher,anexcellentlesson.'

'Whatisthematter?'askedRalph,drawingachairopposite,andsittingdown.

HewasrathertakenabackbythesuddenfirmnesswithwhichKatelookedupandansweredhim.

'Thematterwhichbringsmetoyou,sir,'shesaid,'isonewhichshouldcallthebloodupintoyourcheeks,andmakeyouburntohear,asitdoesmetotell.Ihavebeenwronged;myfeelingshavebeenoutraged,insulted,woundedpastallhealing,andbyyourfriends.'

'Friends!'criedRalph,sternly.'Ihavenofriends,girl.'

'BythemenIsawhere,then,'returnedKate,quickly.'Iftheywerenofriendsofyours,andyouknewwhattheywere,oh,themoreshameonyou,uncle,forbringingme among them. To have subjectedme to what I was exposed tohere, through any misplaced confidence or imperfect knowledge of yourguests, would have required some strong excuse; but if you did itas I nowbelieveyoudidknowingthemwell,itwasmostdastardlyandcruel.'

Ralphdrewbackinutteramazementatthisplainspeaking,andregardedKatewiththesternestlook.Butshemethisgazeproudlyandfirmly,andalthoughher facewasverypale, it lookedmorenobleandhandsome, lightedupas itwas,thanithadeverappearedbefore.

'There is someof thatboy'sblood inyou, I see,' saidRalph,speaking inhisharshesttones,assomethingintheflashingeyeremindedhimofNicholasat

theirlastmeeting.

'Ihopethereis!'repliedKate.'Ishouldbeproudtoknowit.Iamyoung,uncle,andall thedifficultiesandmiseriesofmysituationhavekept itdown,but Ihavebeen roused todaybeyondall endurance, andcomewhatmay, IWILLNOT,asIamyourbrother'schild,beartheseinsultslonger.'

'Whatinsults,girl?'demandedRalph,sharply.

'Rememberwhat took place here, and ask yourself,' repliedKate, colouringdeeply. 'Uncle, you mustI am sure you willrelease me from such vile anddegradingcompanionshipasIamexposedtonow.Idonotmean,'saidKate,hurryingtotheoldman,andlayingherarmuponhisshoulder;'IdonotmeantobeangryandviolentIbegyourpardonifIhaveseemedso,dearuncle,butyou do not knowwhat I have suffered, you do not indeed.You cannot tellwhattheheartofayounggirlisIhavenorighttoexpectyoushould;butwhenItellyouthatIamwretched,andthatmyheartisbreaking,Iamsureyouwillhelpme.Iamsure,Iamsureyouwill!'

Ralphlookedatherforaninstant;thenturnedawayhishead,andbeathisfootnervouslyupontheground.

'I have gone on day after day,' said Kate, bending over him, and timidlyplacingherlittlehandinhis,'inthehopethatthispersecutionwouldcease;Ihave gone on day after day, compelled to assume the appearance ofcheerfulness,whenIwasmostunhappy.Ihavehadnocounsellor,noadviser,noonetoprotectme.Mamasupposesthatthesearehonourablemen,richanddistinguished,andhowCANIhowcanIundeceiveherwhensheissohappyinthese little delusions, which are the only happiness she has? The ladywithwhomyouplacedme,isnotthepersontowhomIcouldconfidemattersofsomuch delicacy, and I have come at last to you, the only friend I have athandalmosttheonlyfriendIhaveatalltoentreatandimploreyoutoassistme.'

'HowcanIassistyou,child?'saidRalph,risingfromhischair,andpacingupanddowntheroominhisoldattitude.

'You have influence with one of these men, I KNOW,' rejoined Kate,emphatically. 'Would not a word from you induce them to desist from thisunmanlycourse?'

'No,'saidRalph,suddenlyturning;'atleastthatIcan'tsayit,ifitwould.'

'Can'tsayit!'

'No,' saidRalph,coming toadeadstop,andclaspinghishandsmore tightlybehindhim.'Ican'tsayit.'

Katefellbackasteportwo,andlookedathim,asifindoubtwhethershehadheardaright.

'Weareconnectedinbusiness,'saidRalph,poisinghimselfalternatelyonhistoesandheels,andlookingcoollyinhisniece'sface,'inbusiness,andIcan'tafford tooffend them.What is itafterall?Wehaveallour trials,and this isoneofyours.Somegirlswouldbeproudtohavesuchgallantsattheirfeet.'

'Proud!'criedKate.

'I don't say,' rejoined Ralph, raising his forefinger, 'but that you do right todespisethem;no,youshowyourgoodsenseinthat,asindeedIknewfromthefirstyouwould.Well.Inallotherrespectsyouarecomfortablybestowed.It'snotmuchtobear.Ifthisyounglorddoesdogyourfootsteps,andwhisperhisdrivellinginanitiesinyourears,whatofit?It'sadishonourablepassion.Sobeit;itwon'tlastlong.Someothernoveltywillspringuponeday,andyouwillbereleased.Inthemeantime'

'In themean time,' interruptedKate,withbecomingprideand indignation, 'Iamtobethescornofmyownsex,andthetoyoftheother;justlycondemnedbyallwomenofrightfeeling,anddespisedbyallhonestandhonourablemen;sunkeninmyownesteem,anddegradedineveryeyethatlooksuponme.No,not if Iworkmy fingers to thebone,not if I amdriven to the roughest andhardestlabour.Donotmistakeme.Iwillnotdisgraceyourrecommendation.Iwillremaininthehouseinwhichitplacedme,untilIamentitledtoleaveitbythetermsofmyengagement;though,mind,Iseethesemennomore.WhenIquit it, I will hide myself from them and you, and, striving to support mymotherbyhardservice,Iwilllive,atleast,inpeace,andtrustinGodtohelpme.'

With thesewords, shewavedherhand,andquitted the room, leavingRalphNicklebymotionlessasastatue.

The surprise with which Kate, as she closed the roomdoor, beheld, closebesideit,NewmanNoggsstandingboltuprightinalittlenicheinthewalllikesomescarecroworGuyFauxlaidupinwinterquarters,almostoccasionedherto call aloud. But, Newman laying his finger upon his lips, she had thepresenceofmindtorefrain.

'Don't,'saidNewman,glidingoutofhisrecess,andaccompanyingheracrossthe hall. 'Don't cry, don't cry.'Twovery large tears, bythebye,were runningdownNewman'sfaceashespoke.

'Iseehowitis,'saidpoorNoggs,drawingfromhispocketwhatseemedtobeaveryoldduster,andwipingKate'seyeswithit,asgentlyasifshewerean

infant.'You'regivingwaynow.Yes,yes,verygood;that'sright,Ilikethat.Itwas right not to giveway before him. Yes, yes! Ha, ha, ha! Oh, yes. Poorthing!'

With these disjointed exclamations, Newman wiped his own eyes with theaforementionedduster,and,limpingtothestreetdoor,openedittoletherout.

'Don't cryanymore,'whisperedNewman. 'I shall seeyousoon.Ha!ha!ha!Andsoshallsomebodyelsetoo.Yes,yes.Ho!ho!'

'Godblessyou,'answeredKate,hurryingout,'Godblessyou.'

'Sametoyou,'rejoinedNewman,openingthedooragainalittlewaytosayso.'Ha,ha,ha!Ho!ho!ho!'

And Newman Noggs opened the door once again to nod cheerfully, andlaughandshutit,toshakehisheadmournfully,andcry.

Ralphremainedinthesameattitudetillheheardthenoiseoftheclosingdoor,whenheshruggedhisshoulders,andafterafewturnsabouttheroomhastyatfirst, but gradually becoming slower, as he relapsed into himselfsat downbeforehisdesk.

It isoneof thoseproblemsofhumannature,whichmaybenoteddown,butnot solved;although Ralph felt no remorse at that moment for his conducttowardstheinnocent, trueheartedgirl;althoughhislibertineclientshaddonepreciselywhathehadexpected,preciselywhathemostwished,andpreciselywhatwouldtendmosttohisadvantage,stillhehatedthemfordoingit,fromtheverybottomofhissoul.

'Ugh!'saidRalph,scowlinground,andshakinghisclenchedhandasthefacesofthetwoprofligatesroseupbeforehismind;'youshallpayforthis.Oh!youshallpayforthis!'

As theusurer turned forconsolation tohisbooksandpapers,aperformancewasgoingonoutsidehis office door,whichwouldhaveoccasionedhimnosmallsurprise,ifhecouldbyanymeanshavebecomeacquaintedwithit.

NewmanNoggswasthesoleactor.Hestoodatalittledistancefromthedoor,withhis face towards it; andwith the sleevesof his coat turnedback at thewrists, was occupied in bestowing the most vigorous, scientific, andstraightforwardblowsupontheemptyair.

Atfirstsight,thiswouldhaveappearedmerelyawiseprecautioninamanofsedentary habits, with the view of opening the chest and strengthening themusclesofthearms.ButtheintenseeagernessandjoydepictedinthefaceofNewmanNoggs,whichwassuffusedwithperspiration;thesurprisingenergy

withwhich he directed a constant succession of blows towards a particularpanelaboutfivefeeteightfromtheground,andstillworkedawayinthemostuntiring and persevering manner, would have sufficiently explained to theattentiveobserver,thathisimaginationwasthrashing,towithinaninchofhislife,hisbody'smostactiveemployer,MrRalphNickleby.

CHAPTER29

OftheProceedingsofNicholas,andcertainInternalDivisionsintheCompanyofMrVincentCrummles

TheunexpectedsuccessandfavourwithwhichhisexperimentatPortsmouthhadbeenreceived,inducedMrCrummlestoprolonghisstayinthattownforafortnightbeyondtheperiodhehadoriginallyassignedforthedurationofhisvisit,duringwhichtimeNicholaspersonatedavastvarietyofcharacterswithundiminished success, and attracted somany people to the theatrewho hadneverbeenseentherebefore,thatabenefitwasconsideredbythemanageravery promising speculation. Nicholas assenting to the terms proposed, thebenefitwashad,andbyitherealisednolessasumthantwentypounds.

Possessedofthisunexpectedwealth,hisfirstactwastoenclosetohonestJohnBrowdie the amountof his friendly loan,whichhe accompaniedwithmanyexpressions of gratitude and esteem, and many cordial wishes for hismatrimonialhappiness.ToNewmanNoggsheforwardedonehalfofthesumhehadrealised,entreatinghimtotakeanopportunityofhandingittoKateinsecret,andconveyingtoherthewarmestassurancesofhisloveandaffection.Hemadenomentionof theway inwhichhehademployedhimself;merelyinformingNewmanthataletteraddressedtohimunderhisassumednameatthe Post Office, Portsmouth, would readily find him, and entreating thatworthyfriendtowritefullparticularsofthesituationofhismotherandsister,andanaccountofallthegrandthingsthatRalphNicklebyhaddoneforthemsincehisdeparturefromLondon.

'You are out of spirits,' said Smike, on the night after the letter had beendispatched.

'NotI!'rejoinedNicholas,withassumedgaiety,fortheconfessionwouldhavemadetheboymiserableallnight;'Iwasthinkingaboutmysister,Smike.'

'Sister!'

'Ay.'

'Isshelikeyou?'inquiredSmike.

'Why,sotheysay,'repliedNicholas,laughing,'onlyagreatdealhandsomer.'

'ShemustbeVERYbeautiful,'saidSmike,afterthinkingalittlewhilewithhishandsfoldedtogether,andhiseyesbentuponhisfriend.

'Anybodywhodidn'tknowyouaswellasIdo,mydearfellow,wouldsayyouwereanaccomplishedcourtier,'saidNicholas.

'Idon'tevenknowwhatthatis,'repliedSmike,shakinghishead.'ShallIeverseeyoursister?'

'Tobesure,'criedNicholas;'weshallallbetogetheroneofthesedayswhenwearerich,Smike.'

'Howisitthatyou,whoaresokindandgoodtome,havenobodytobekindtoyou?'askedSmike.'Icannotmakethatout.'

'Why, it is a long story,' replied Nicholas, 'and one you would have somedifficultyincomprehending,Ifear.Ihaveanenemyyouunderstandwhatthatis?'

'Oh,yes,Iunderstandthat,'saidSmike.

'Well, it is owing to him,' returned Nicholas. 'He is rich, and not so easilypunishedasYOURoldenemy,MrSqueers.Heismyuncle,butheisavillain,andhasdonemewrong.'

'Hashe though?' askedSmike,bendingeagerly forward. 'What ishisname?Tellmehisname.'

'RalphRalphNickleby.'

'RalphNickleby,'repeatedSmike.'Ralph.I'llgetthatnamebyheart.'

Hehadmuttereditovertohimselfsometwentytimes,whenaloudknockatthe door disturbed him from his occupation. Before he could open it, MrFolair,thepantomimist,thrustinhishead.

MrFolair'sheadwasusuallydecoratedwithaveryroundhat,unusuallyhighinthecrown,andcurledupquitetightinthebrims.Onthepresentoccasionheworeitverymuchononeside,withthebackpartforwardinconsequenceofits being the least rusty; round his neck he wore a flaming red worstedcomforter, whereof the straggling ends peeped out beneath his threadbareNewmarketcoat,whichwasverytightandbuttonedallthewayup.Hecarriedinhishandoneverydirtyglove,andacheapdresscanewithaglasshandle;in

short, his whole appearancewas unusually dashing, and demonstrated a farmorescrupulousattention tohis toilet thanhewas in thehabitofbestowinguponit.

'Goodevening, sir,' said Mr Folair, taking off the tall hat, and running hisfingersthroughhishair.'Ibringacommunication.Hem!'

'From whom and what about?' inquired Nicholas. 'You are unusuallymysterioustonight.'

'Cold, perhaps,' returned Mr Folair; 'cold, perhaps. That is the fault of mypositionnotofmyself,MrJohnson.Mypositionasamutualfriendrequiresit,sir.'Mr Folair pausedwith amost impressive look, and diving into the hatbeforenoticed,drewfromthenceasmallpieceofwhitybrownpapercuriouslyfolded,whencehebroughtforthanotewhichithadservedtokeepclean,andhandingitovertoNicholas,said

'Havethegoodnesstoreadthat,sir.'

Nicholas, in a state of much amazement, took the note and broke the seal,glancingatMrFolairashedidso,who,knittinghisbrowandpursinguphismouth with great dignity, was sitting with his eyes steadily fixed upon theceiling.

ItwasdirectedtoblankJohnson,Esq.,byfavourofAugustusFolair,Esq.;andtheastonishmentofNicholaswasinnodegreelessened,whenhefoundittobecouchedinthefollowinglaconicterms:

"MrLenvillepresentshiskindregardstoMrJohnson,andwillfeelobligedifhewillinformhimatwhathourtomorrowmorningitwillbemostconvenienttohimtomeetMrL.attheTheatre,forthepurposeofhavinghisnosepulledinthepresenceofthecompany.

"MrLenville requestsMrJohnsonnot toneglectmakinganappointment,ashehasinvitedtwoorthreeprofessionalfriendstowitnesstheceremony,andcannotdisappointthemuponanyaccountwhatever.

"PORTSMOUTH,TUESDAYNIGHT."

Indignantashewasat this impertinence, therewassomethingsoexquisitelyabsurd in suchacartelofdefiance, thatNicholaswasobliged tobitehis lipand read the note over two or three times before he couldmuster sufficientgravityandsternnesstoaddressthehostilemessenger,whohadnottakenhiseyes from the ceiling, nor altered the expression of his face in the slightestdegree.

'Doyouknowthecontentsofthisnote,sir?'heasked,atlength.

'Yes,' rejoined Mr Folair, looking round for an instant, and immediatelycarryinghiseyesbackagaintotheceiling.

'Andhowdareyoubringithere,sir?'askedNicholas,tearingitintoverylittlepieces,andjerkingitinashowertowardsthemessenger.'Hadyounofearofbeingkickeddownstairs,sir?'

Mr Folair turned his headnow ornamented with several fragments of thenotetowardsNicholas,andwiththesameimperturbabledignity,brieflyreplied'No.'

'Then,' saidNicholas, taking up the tall hat and tossing it towards the door,'youhadbetterfollowthatarticleofyourdress,sir,oryoumayfindyourselfverydisagreeablydeceived,andthatwithinadozenseconds.'

'Isay,Johnson,'remonstratedMrFolair,suddenlylosingallhisdignity,'noneofthat,youknow.Notrickswithagentleman'swardrobe.'

'Leavetheroom,'returnedNicholas.'Howcouldyoupresumetocomehereonsuchanerrand,youscoundrel?'

'Pooh!pooh!' saidMrFolair,unwindinghiscomforter,andgraduallygettinghimselfoutofit.'Therethat'senough.'

'Enough!'criedNicholas,advancingtowardshim.'Takeyourselfoff,sir.'

'Pooh!pooh!Itellyou,'returnedMrFolair,wavinghishandindeprecationofanyfurtherwrath;'Iwasn'tinearnest.Ionlybroughtitinjoke.'

'Youhadbetterbecarefulhowyouindulgeinsuchjokesagain,'saidNicholas,'oryoumayfindanallusiontopullingnosesratheradangerousreminderforthesubjectofyourfacetiousness.Wasitwritteninjoke,too,pray?'

'No, no, that's the best of it,' returned the actor; 'right down earnesthonourbright.'

Nicholascouldnotrepressasmileattheoddfigurebeforehim,which,atalltimesmorecalculated toprovokemirth thananger,wasespecially soat thatmoment,whenwithonekneeupontheground,MrFolairtwirledhisoldhatround upon his hand, and affected the extremest agony lest any of the napshouldhavebeenknockedoffanornamentwhich it is almost superfluous tosay,ithadnotboastedformanymonths.

'Come,sir,'saidNicholas,laughinginspiteofhimself.'Havethegoodnesstoexplain.'

'Why, I'll tell you how it is,' saidMrFolair, sitting himself down in a chairwith great coolness. 'Since you came here Lenville has done nothing but

secondbusiness,and,insteadofhavingareceptioneverynightasheusedtohave,theyhavelethimcomeonasifhewasnobody.'

'Whatdoyoumeanbyareception?'askedNicholas.

'Jupiter!' exclaimed Mr Folair, 'what an unsophisticated shepherd you are,Johnson!Why, applause from thehousewhenyou first comeon.Sohehasgoneonnight afternight, nevergettingahand, andyougettinga coupleofroundsatleast,andsometimesthree,tillatlengthhegotquitedesperate,andhadhalfamindlastnight toplayTybaltwitharealsword,andpinkyounotdangerously,butjustenoughtolayyouupforamonthortwo.'

'Veryconsiderate,'remarkedNicholas.

'Yes,Ithinkitwasunderthecircumstances;hisprofessionalreputationbeingatstake,'saidMrFolair,quiteseriously.'Buthisheartfailedhim,andhecastaboutforsomeotherwayofannoyingyou,andmakinghimselfpopularatthesametimeforthat'sthepoint.Notoriety,notoriety,isthething.Blessyou,ifhehadpinkedyou,'saidMrFolair,stoppingtomakeacalculationinhismind,'itwouldhavebeenworthah, itwouldhavebeenwortheightor ten shillingsaweektohim.Allthetownwouldhavecometoseetheactorwhonearlykilleda man by mistake; I shouldn't wonder if it had got him an engagement inLondon.However,hewasobligedtotrysomeothermodeofgettingpopular,and this one occurred to him. It's clever idea, really. If you had shown thewhitefeather,andlethimpullyournose,he'dhavegotitintothepaper;ifyouhadswornthepeaceagainsthim,itwouldhavebeeninthepapertoo,andhe'dhavebeenjustasmuchtalkedaboutasyoudon'tyousee?'

'Oh,certainly,' rejoinedNicholas; 'but suppose Iwere to turn the tables, andpullHISnose,whatthen?Wouldthatmakehisfortune?'

'Why,Idon't thinkitwould,' repliedMrFolair,scratchinghishead, 'becausetherewouldn'tbeanyromanceaboutit,andhewouldn'tbefavourablyknown.To tell you the truth though, he didn't calculatemuch upon that, for you'realways somildspoken,andare sopopularamong thewomen, thatwedidn'tsuspectyouofshowingfight.Ifyoudid,however,hehasawayofgettingoutofiteasily,dependuponthat.'

'Hashe?'rejoinedNicholas.'Wewilltry,tomorrowmorning.Inthemeantime,youcangivewhateveraccountofourinterviewyoulikebest.Goodnight.'

AsMrFolairwasprettywellknownamonghis fellowactors foramanwhodelighted in mischief, and was by no means scrupulous, Nicholas had notmuchdoubtbut thathehadsecretlyprompted the tragedian in thecoursehehadtaken,and,moreover,thathewouldhavecarriedhismissionwithaveryhigh hand if he had not been disconcerted by the very unexpected

demonstrationswithwhichithadbeenreceived.Itwasnotworthhiswhiletobeseriouswithhim,however,sohedismissedthepantomimist,withagentlehintthatifheoffendedagainitwouldbeunderthepenaltyofabrokenhead;andMrFolair, taking the caution in exceedinglygoodpart,walked away toconferwithhisprincipal,andgivesuchanaccountofhisproceedingsashemightthinkbestcalculatedtocarryonthejoke.

HehadnodoubtreportedthatNicholaswasinastateofextremebodilyfear;forwhen that young gentlemanwalkedwithmuch deliberation down to thetheatrenextmorningattheusualhour,hefoundallthecompanyassembledinevident expectation, and Mr Lenville, with his severest stage face, sittingmajesticallyonatable,whistlingdefiance.

Now the ladies were on the side of Nicholas, and the gentlemen (beingjealous) were on the side of the disappointed tragedian; so that the latterformedalittlegroupabouttheredoubtableMrLenville,andtheformerlookedonatalittledistanceinsometrepidationandanxiety.OnNicholasstoppingtosalute them,Mr Lenville laughed a scornful laugh, andmade some generalremarktouchingthenaturalhistoryofpuppies.

'Oh!'saidNicholas,lookingquietlyround,'areyouthere?'

'Slave!' returned Mr Lenville, flourishing his right arm, and approachingNicholas with a theatrical stride. But somehow he appeared just at thatmomentalittlestartled,asifNicholasdidnot lookquitesofrightenedashehadexpected,andcameallatoncetoanawkwardhalt,atwhichtheassembledladiesburstintoashrilllaugh.

'Objectofmyscornandhatred!'saidMrLenville,'Iholdyeincontempt.'

Nicholaslaughedinveryunexpectedenjoymentofthisperformance;andtheladies, by way of encouragement, laughed louder than before; whereat MrLenvilleassumedhisbitterestsmile,andexpressedhisopinionthattheywere'minions'.

'But they shall not protect ye!' said the tragedian, taking an upward look atNicholas,beginningathisbootsandendingatthecrownofhishead,andthena downward one, beginning at the crown of his head, and ending at hisbootswhich two looks, as everybody knows, express defiance on the stage.'Theyshallnotprotectyeboy!'

Thus speaking, Mr Lenville folded his arms, and treated Nicholas to thatexpressionof facewithwhich, inmelodramaticperformances,hewas in thehabitofregardingthetyrannicalkingswhentheysaid,'Awaywithhimtothedeepest dungeon beneath the castle moat;' and which, accompanied with alittlejinglingoffetters,hadbeenknowntoproducegreateffectsinitstime.

Whether it was the absence of the fetters or not, it made no very deepimpressiononMrLenville'sadversary,however,butratherseemedtoincreasethegoodhumourexpressedinhiscountenance;inwhichstageofthecontest,oneortwogentlemen,whohadcomeoutexpresslytowitnessthepullingofNicholas'snose,grewimpatient,murmuringthatifitweretobedoneatallithadbetterbedoneatonce,andthatifMrLenvilledidn'tmeantodoithehadbetter say so, and not keep them waiting there. Thus urged, the tragedianadjustedthecuffofhisrightcoatsleevefortheperformanceoftheoperation,and walked in a very stately manner up to Nicholas, who suffered him toapproach to within the requisite distance, and then, without the smallestdiscomposure,knockedhimdown.

Before the discomfited tragedian could raise his head from the boards,MrsLenville (who,ashasbeenbeforehinted,was inan interestingstate) rushedfromtherearrankofladies,andutteringapiercingscreamthrewherselfuponthebody.

'Doyousee this,monster?DoyouseeTHIS?'criedMrLenville, sittingup,andpointingtohisprostratelady,whowasholdinghimverytightroundthewaist.

'Come,'saidNicholas,noddinghishead, 'apologisefor the insolentnoteyouwrotetomelastnight,andwastenomoretimeintalking.'

'Never!'criedMrLenville.

'Yesyesyes!'screamedhiswife. 'Formysakeformine,Lenvilleforegoall idleforms,unlessyouwouldseemeablightedcorseatyourfeet.'

'Thisisaffecting!'saidMrLenville,lookingroundhim,anddrawingthebackofhishandacrosshiseyes. 'Thetiesofnaturearestrong.Theweakhusbandandthefatherthefatherthatisyettoberelents.Iapologise.'

'Humblyandsubmissively?'saidNicholas.

'Humbly and submissively,' returned the tragedian, scowling upwards. 'Butonlytosaveher,foratimewillcome'

'Very good,' saidNicholas; 'I hopeMrsLenvillemay have a good one; andwhen itdoescome,andyouarea father,youshall retract it ifyouhave thecourage. There. Be careful, sir, to what lengths your jealousy carries youanothertime;andbecareful,also,beforeyouventuretoofar,toascertainyourrival'stemper.'WiththispartingadviceNicholaspickedupMrLenville'sashstickwhichhadflownoutofhishand,andbreakingitinhalf,threwhimthepiecesandwithdrew,bowingslightlytothespectatorsashewalkedout.

The profoundest deference was paid to Nicholas that night, and the people

whohadbeenmostanxioustohavehisnosepulledinthemorning,embracedoccasions of taking him aside, and telling himwith great feeling, howveryfriendlytheytookitthatheshouldhavetreatedthatLenvillesoproperly,whowas amost unbearable fellow, and onwhom they had all, by a remarkablecoincidence, at one time or other contemplated the infliction of condignpunishment, which they had only been restrained from administering byconsiderationsofmercy; indeed, to judge from the invariable terminationofall these stories, there never was such a charitable and kindhearted set ofpeopleasthemalemembersofMrCrummles'scompany.

Nicholas bore his triumph, as he had his success in the little world of thetheatre, with the utmost moderation and good humour. The crestfallen MrLenvillemadeanexpiringefforttoobtainrevengebysendingaboyintothegallerytohiss,buthefellasacrificetopopularindignation,andwaspromptlyturnedoutwithouthavinghismoneyback.

'Well,Smike,'saidNicholaswhenthefirstpiecewasover,andhehadalmostfinisheddressingtogohome,'isthereanyletteryet?'

'Yes,'repliedSmike,'Igotthisonefromthepostoffice.'

'From Newman Noggs,' said Nicholas, casting his eye upon the crampeddirection;'it'snoeasymattertomakehiswritingout.Letmeseeletmesee.'

Bydintofporingovertheletterforhalfanhour,hecontrivedtomakehimselfmasterofthecontents,whichwerecertainlynotofanaturetosethismindatease.Newmantookuponhimselftosendbackthetenpounds,observingthathehadascertainedthatneitherMrsNicklebynorKatewasinactualwantofmoney at the moment, and that a time might shortly come when Nicholasmightwantitmore.Heentreatedhimnottobealarmedatwhathewasaboutto say;there was no bad newsthey were in good healthbut he thoughtcircumstances might occur, or were occurring, which would render itabsolutelynecessarythatKateshouldhaveherbrother'sprotection,andifso,Newmansaid,hewouldwritetohimtothateffect,eitherbythenextpostorthenextbutone.

Nicholasreadthispassageveryoften,andthemorehethoughtofitthemorehebegantofearsometreacheryuponthepartofRalph.OnceortwicehefelttemptedtorepairtoLondonatallhazardswithoutanhour'sdelay,butalittlereflectionassuredhimthatifsuchastepwerenecessary,Newmanwouldhavespokenoutandtoldhimsoatonce.

'AtalleventsIshouldpreparethemhereforthepossibilityofmygoingawaysuddenly,'saidNicholas; 'Ishouldlosenotimeindoingthat.'Asthethoughtoccurredtohim,hetookuphishatandhurriedtothegreenroom.

'Well,Mr Johnson,' saidMrsCrummles,whowas seated there in full regalcostume, with the phenomenon as the Maiden in her maternal arms, 'nextweekforRyde,thenforWinchester,thenfor'

'Ihavesomereasontofear,' interruptedNicholas, 'thatbeforeyouleaveheremycareerwithyouwillhaveclosed.'

'Closed!'criedMrsCrummles,raisingherhandsinastonishment.

'Closed!' cried Miss Snevellicci, trembling so much in her tights that sheactuallylaidherhandupontheshoulderofthemanageressforsupport.

'Whyhedon'tmean tosayhe'sgoing!'exclaimedMrsGrudden,makingherwaytowardsMrsCrummles.'Hoitytoity!Nonsense.'

The phenomenon, being of an affectionate nature and moreover excitable,raisedaloudcry,andMissBelvawneyandMissBravassaactuallyshedtears.Eventhemaleperformersstoppedintheirconversation,andechoedtheword'Going!' although some among them (and theyhadbeen the loudest in theircongratulations that day)winked at each other as though theywould not besorry to losesucha favouredrival;anopinion, indeed,which thehonestMrFolair,whowasreadydressedforthesavage,openlystatedinsomanywordstoademonwithwhomhewassharingapotofporter.

Nicholasbrieflysaidthathefeareditwouldbeso,althoughhecouldnotyetspeakwithanydegreeofcertainty;andgettingawayassoonashecould,wenthometoconNewman'sletteroncemore,andspeculateuponitafresh.

How trifling all that had been occupying his time and thoughts for manyweeks seemed to him during that sleepless night, and how constantly andincessantlypresenttohisimaginationwastheoneideathatKateinthemidstofsomegreattroubleanddistressmighteventhenbelookingandvainlytooforhim!

CHAPTER30

Festivities are held in honour ofNicholas,who suddenlywithdrawshimselffromtheSocietyofMrVincentCrummlesandhisTheatricalCompanions

Mr Vincent Crummles was no sooner acquainted with the publicannouncement which Nicholas had made relative to the probability of hisshortlyceasingtobeamemberofthecompany,thanheevincedmanytokens

ofgriefandconsternation;and,intheextremityofhisdespair,evenheldoutcertainvaguepromisesofaspeedyimprovementnotonlyintheamountofhisregular salary, but also in the contingent emoluments appertaining to hisauthorship. Finding Nicholas bent upon quitting the societyfor he had nowdeterminedthat,evenifnofurthertidingscamefromNewman,hewould,atallhazards,easehismindby repairing toLondonandascertaining theexactpositionofhissisterMrCrummleswasfaintocontenthimselfbycalculatingthe chances of his coming back again, and taking prompt and energeticmeasurestomakethemostofhimbeforehewentaway.

'Let me see,' said Mr Crummles, taking off his outlaw's wig, the better toarriveatacoolheadedviewofthewholecase.'Letmesee.ThisisWednesdaynight. We'll have posters out the first thing in the morning, announcingpositivelyyourlastappearancefortomorrow.'

'But perhaps it may not be my last appearance, you know,' said Nicholas.'Unless I am summoned away, I should be sorry to inconvenience you byleavingbeforetheendoftheweek.'

'Somuchthebetter,'returnedMrCrummles.'Wecanhavepositivelyyourlastappearance, on Thursdayreengagement for one night more, on Fridayand,yieldingtothewishesofnumerousinfluentialpatrons,whoweredisappointedinobtainingseats,onSaturday.Thatoughttobringthreeverydecenthouses.'

'ThenIamtomakethreelastappearances,amI?'inquiredNicholas,smiling.

'Yes,'rejoinedthemanager,scratchinghisheadwithanairofsomevexation;'threeisnotenough,andit'sverybunglingandirregularnottohavemore,butifwecan'thelp itwecan't, so there'snouse in talking.Anoveltywouldbeverydesirable.Youcouldn'tsingacomicsongonthepony'sback,couldyou?'

'No,'repliedNicholas,'Icouldn'tindeed.'

'It has drawn money before now,' said Mr Crummles, with a look ofdisappointment.'Whatdoyouthinkofabrilliantdisplayoffireworks?'

'Thatitwouldberatherexpensive,'repliedNicholas,drily.

'Eighteenpencewoulddoit,'saidMrCrummles. 'Youonthe topofapairofsteps with the phenomenon in an attitude; "Farewell!" on a transparencybehind;andninepeopleat thewingswithasquib ineachhandall thedozenandahalfgoingoffatonceitwouldbeverygrandawfulfromthefront,quiteawful.'

As Nicholas appeared by no means impressed with the solemnity of theproposed effect, but, on the contrary, received the proposition in a mostirreverentmanner, and laughed at it very heartily,MrCrummles abandoned

theprojectinitsbirth,andgloomilyobservedthattheymustmakeupthebestbill they could with combats and hornpipes, and so stick to the legitimatedrama.

Forthepurposeofcarryingthisobjectintoinstantexecution,themanageratonce repaired to a small dressingroom, adjacent,whereMrsCrummleswasthenoccupied in exchanging thehabiliments of amelodramatic empress forthe ordinary attire of matrons in the nineteenth century. And with theassistanceof this lady,and theaccomplishedMrsGrudden(whohadquiteagenius formaking out bills, being a great hand at throwing in the notes ofadmiration, and knowing from long experience exactly where the largestcapitalsought togo),he seriouslyappliedhimself to the compositionof theposter.

'Heigho!' sighedNicholas, as he threwhimself back in the prompter's chair,after telegraphing the needful directions to Smike, who had been playing ameagre tailor in the interlude, with one skirt to his coat, and a littlepockethandkerchiefwithalargeholeinit,andawoollennightcap,andarednose, and other distinctivemarks peculiar to tailors on the stage. 'Heigho! Iwishallthiswereover.'

'Over,MrJohnson!'repeatedafemalevoicebehindhim,inakindofplaintivesurprise.

'Itwasanungallantspeech,certainly,'saidNicholas,lookinguptoseewhothespeakerwas,andrecognisingMissSnevellicci. 'IwouldnothavemadeitifIhadknownyouhadbeenwithinhearing.'

'WhatadearthatMrDigbyis!'saidMissSnevellicci,asthetailorwentoffonthe opposite side, at the end of the piece, with great applause. (Smike'stheatricalnamewasDigby.)

'I'lltellhimpresently,forhisgratification,thatyousaidso,'returnedNicholas.

'Ohyounaughtything!'rejoinedMissSnevellicci.'Idon'tknowthough,thatIshouldmuchmindHISknowingmyopinionofhim;withsomeotherpeople,indeed, itmight be'HereMiss Snevellicci stopped, as thoughwaiting to bequestioned, but no questioning came, forNicholaswas thinking aboutmoreseriousmatters.

'Howkinditisofyou,'resumedMissSnevellicci,afterashortsilence,'tositwaitinghere forhimnightafternight,nightafternight,nomatterhow tiredyou are; and taking somuch painswith him, and doing it allwith asmuchdelightandreadinessasifyouwerecoininggoldbyit!'

'HewelldeservesallthekindnessIcanshowhim,andagreatdealmore,'said

Nicholas.'Heisthemostgrateful,singlehearted,affectionatecreaturethateverbreathed.'

'Soodd,too,'remarkedMissSnevellicci,'isn'the?'

'God help him, and those who have made him so; he is indeed,' rejoinedNicholas,shakinghishead.

'He is such a devilish close chap,' saidMrFolair,whohad comeup a littlebefore,andnowjoinedintheconversation.'Nobodycanevergetanythingoutofhim.'

'What SHOULD they get out of him?' asked Nicholas, turning round withsomeabruptness.

'Zooks!whatafireeateryouare,Johnson!'returnedMrFolair,pullinguptheheelofhisdancingshoe.'I'monlytalkingofthenaturalcuriosityofthepeoplehere,toknowwhathehasbeenaboutallhislife.'

'Poor fellow! it isprettyplain, Ishould think, thathehasnot the intellect tohavebeenaboutanythingofmuchimportancetothemoranybodyelse,'saidNicholas.

'Ay,'rejoinedtheactor,contemplatingtheeffectofhisfaceinalampreflector,'butthatinvolvesthewholequestion,youknow.'

'Whatquestion?'askedNicholas.

'Why, thewhohe isandwhathe is,andhowyoutwo,whoaresodifferent,came to be such close companions,' replied Mr Folair, delighted with theopportunityofsayingsomethingdisagreeable.'That'sineverybody'smouth.'

'The"everybody"ofthetheatre,Isuppose?'saidNicholas,contemptuously.

'Initandoutofittoo,'repliedtheactor.'Why,youknow,Lenvillesays'

'IthoughtIhadsilencedhimeffectually,'interruptedNicholas,reddening.

'Perhaps youhave,' rejoined the immovableMrFolair; 'if you have, he saidthis before he was silenced: Lenville says that you're a regular stick of anactor,andthatit'sonlythemysteryaboutyouthathascausedyoutogodownwiththepeoplehere,andthatCrummleskeepsitupforhisownsake;thoughLenvillesayshedon'tbelievethere'sanythingatallinit,exceptyourhavinggotintoascrapeandrunawayfromsomewhere,fordoingsomethingorother.'

'Oh!'saidNicholas,forcingasmile.

'That'sapartofwhathesays,'addedMrFolair. 'Imentionitasthefriendofboth parties, and in strict confidence. I don't agreewith him, youknow.He

sayshetakesDigbytobemoreknavethanfool;andoldFluggers,whodoesthe heavy business you know,HE says thatwhen he deliveredmessages atCoventGardentheseasonbeforelast,thereusedtobeapickpockethoveringabout thecoachstandwhohadexactly thefaceofDigby; though,asheveryproperlysays,Digbymaynotbethesame,butonlyhisbrother,orsomenearrelation.'

'Oh!'criedNicholasagain.

'Yes,' said Mr Folair, with undisturbed calmness, 'that's what they say. IthoughtI'dtellyou,becausereallyyououghttoknow.Oh!here'sthisblessedphenomenonatlast.Ugh,youlittleimposition,Ishouldliketoquiteready,mydarling,humbugRingup,MrsG.,andletthefavouritewake'em.'

Utteringinaloudvoicesuchofthelatterallusionsaswerecomplimentarytothe unconscious phenomenon, andgiving the rest in a confidential 'aside' toNicholas,MrFolairfollowedtheascentofthecurtainwithhiseyes,regardedwithasneerthereceptionofMissCrummlesastheMaiden,and,fallingbackasteportwotoadvancewiththebettereffect,utteredapreliminaryhowl,and'wenton'chatteringhisteethandbrandishinghistintomahawkastheIndianSavage.

'Sothesearesomeofthestoriestheyinventaboutus,andbandyfrommouthtomouth!' thoughtNicholas. 'If amanwould commit an inexpiable offenceagainst any society, large or small, let him be successful. Theywill forgivehimanycrimebutthat.'

'You surely don't mind what that malicious creature says, Mr Johnson?'observedMissSnevellicciinhermostwinningtones.

'NotI,'repliedNicholas.'IfIweregoingtoremainhere,Imightthinkitworthmywhile to embroilmyself.As it is, let them talk till they are hoarse.Buthere,' added Nicholas, as Smike approached, 'here comes the subject of aportionoftheirgoodnature,soletheandIsaygoodnighttogether.'

'No, I will not let either of you say anything of the kind,' returned MissSnevellicci. 'You must come home and see mama, who only came toPortsmouth today, and is dying to behold you. Led, my dear, persuadeMrJohnson.'

'Oh, I'm sure,' returned Miss Ledrook, with considerable vivacity, 'if YOUcan'tpersuadehim'MissLedrooksaidnomore,butintimated,byadexterousplayfulness,thatifMissSnevelliccicouldn'tpersuadehim,nobodycould.

'Mr and Mrs Lillyvick have taken lodgings in our house, and share oursittingroomforthepresent,'saidMissSnevellicci.'Won'tthatinduceyou?'

'Surely,'returnedNicholas,'Icanrequirenopossibleinducementbeyondyourinvitation.'

'Ohno!Idaresay,'rejoinedMissSnevellicci.AndMissLedrooksaid,'Uponmyword!'UponwhichMissSnevelliccisaidthatMissLedrookwasagiddything;andMissLedrooksaidthatMissSnevelliccineedn'tcolourupquitesomuch;andMissSnevelliccibeatMissLedrook,andMissLedrookbeatMissSnevellicci.

'Come,'saidMissLedrook,'it'shightimewewerethere,orweshallhavepoorMrs Snevellicci thinking that you have run away with her daughter, MrJohnson;andthenweshouldhaveaprettytodo.'

'MydearLed,'remonstratedMissSnevellicci,'howyoudotalk!'

MissLedrookmadenoanswer,buttakingSmike'sarminhers,leftherfriendand Nicholas to follow at their pleasure; which it pleased them, or ratherpleased Nicholas, who had no great fancy for a TETEATETE under thecircumstances,todoatonce.

Therewerenotwantingmattersofconversationwhentheyreachedthestreet,for it turnedout thatMissSnevelliccihadasmallbasket tocarryhome,andMiss Ledrook a small bandbox, both containing such minor articles oftheatrical costume as the lady performers usually carried to and fro everyevening.Nicholaswouldinsistuponcarryingthebasket,andMissSnevellicciwouldinsistuponcarryingitherself,whichgaverise toastruggle, inwhichNicholascaptured thebasket and thebandbox likewise.ThenNicholas said,thathewonderedwhatcouldpossiblybe inside thebasket,andattempted topeepin,whereatMissSnevellicciscreamed,anddeclaredthat ifshethoughthe had seen, she was sure she should faint away. This declaration wasfollowedbyasimilarattemptonthebandbox,andsimilardemonstrationsonthepartofMissLedrook,andthenbothladiesvowedthattheywouldn'tmoveastepfurtheruntilNicholashadpromisedthathewouldn'toffertopeepagain.At last Nicholas pledged himself to betray no further curiosity, and theywalkedon:bothladiesgigglingverymuch,anddeclaringthattheyneverhadseensuchawickedcreatureinalltheirborndaysnever.

Lightening thewaywith such pleasantry as this, they arrived at the tailor'shouseinnotime;andheretheymadequitealittleparty, therebeingpresentbesidesMrLillyvickandMrsLillyvick,notonlyMissSnevellicci'smama,buther papa also. And an uncommonly fine manMiss Snevellicci's papa was,withahooknose,andawhiteforehead,andcurlyblackhair,andhighcheekbones, and altogether quite a handsome face, only a little pimply as thoughwithdrinking.HehadaverybroadchesthadMissSnevellicci'spapa,andheworeathreadbarebluedresscoatbuttonedwithgiltbuttonstightacrossit;and

he no sooner saw Nicholas come into the room, than he whipped the twoforefingersofhis righthand inbetween the twocentrebuttons,andstickinghisotherarmgracefullyakimboseemedtosay,'Now,hereIam,mybuck,andwhathaveyougottosaytome?'

Suchwas,andinsuchanattitudesatMissSnevellicci'spapa,whohadbeeninthe profession ever since he had first played the tenyearold imps in theChristmaspantomimes;whocouldsingalittle,dancealittle,fencealittle,actalittle,anddoeverythingalittle,butnotmuch;whohadbeensometimesintheballet,andsometimesinthechorus,ateverytheatreinLondon;whowasalways selected in virtue of his figure to play the military visitors and thespeechlessnoblemen;whoalwaysworeasmartdress,andcameonarminarmwithasmartladyinshortpetticoats,andalwaysdidittoowithsuchanairthatpeople in thepithadbeenseveral timesknowntocryout 'Bravo!'under theimpression that he was somebody. Such wasMiss Snevellicci's papa, uponwhom some envious persons cast the imputation that he occasionally beatMissSnevellicci'smama,whowasstilladancer,withaneatlittlefigureandsomeremainsofgoodlooks;andwhonowsat,asshedanced,beingrathertoooldforthefullglareofthefootlights,inthebackground.

To these good people Nicholas was presented with much formality. Theintroductionbeingcompleted,MissSnevellicci'spapa(whowasscentedwithrumandwater) said that he was delighted to make the acquaintance of agentlemansohighlytalented;andfurthermoreremarked,thattherehadn'tbeensuchahitmadeno,notsincethefirstappearanceofhisfriendMrGlavormelly,attheCoburg.

'Youhaveseenhim,sir?'saidMissSnevellicci'spapa.

'No,reallyIneverdid,'repliedNicholas.

'You never saw my friend Glavormelly, sir!' said Miss Snevellicci's papa.'Thenyouhaveneverseenactingyet.Ifhehadlived'

'Oh,heisdead,ishe?'interruptedNicholas.

'He is,' saidMr Snevellicci, 'but he isn't inWestminster Abbey, more's theshame.Hewasa.Well,nomatter.Heisgonetothatbournefromwhencenotravellerreturns.IhopeheisappreciatedTHERE.'

So saying Miss Snevellicci's papa rubbed the tip of his nose with a veryyellow silk handkerchief, and gave the company to understand that theserecollectionsovercamehim.

'Well,MrLillyvick,'saidNicholas,'andhowareyou?'

'Quitewell,sir,'repliedthecollector. 'Thereisnothinglikethemarriedstate,

sir,dependuponit.'

'Indeed!'saidNicholas,laughing.

'Ah! nothing like it, sir,' repliedMrLillyvick solemnly. 'Howdoyou think,'whispered the collector, drawing him aside, 'how do you think she lookstonight?'

'Ashandsomeasever,'repliedNicholas,glancingatthelateMissPetowker.

'Why, there's air about her, sir,'whispered the collector, 'that I never saw inanybody. Look at her now she moves to put the kettle on. There! Isn't itfascination,sir?'

'You'realuckyman,'saidNicholas.

'Ha,ha,ha!'rejoinedthecollector.'No.DoyouthinkIamthough,eh?PerhapsImaybe,perhapsImaybe. Isay, Icouldn'thavedonemuchbetter if Ihadbeen a young man, could I? You couldn't have done much better yourself,could youehcould you?' With such inquires, and many more such, MrLillyvick jerked his elbow into Nicholas's side, and chuckled till his facebecamequitepurpleintheattempttokeepdownhissatisfaction.

Bythistimetheclothhadbeenlaidunderthejointsuperintendenceofalltheladies,upontwotablesputtogether,onebeinghighandnarrow,andtheotherlowandbroad.Therewereoystersatthetop,sausagesatthebottom,apairofsnuffersinthecentre,andbakedpotatoeswhereveritwasmostconvenienttoput them. Two additional chairs were brought in from the bedroom: MissSnevellicci sat at the head of the table, and Mr Lillyvick at the foot; andNicholas had not only the honour of sitting next Miss Snevellicci, but ofhavingMissSnevellicci'smamaonhisrighthand,andMissSnevellicci'spapaover theway. Inshort,hewas theheroof thefeast;andwhen the tablewascleared and somethingwarm introduced,MissSnevellicci's papagotup andproposed his health in a speech containing such affecting allusions to hiscomingdeparture,thatMissSnevellicciwept,andwascompelledtoretireintothebedroom.

'Hush!Don't take any notice of it,' saidMiss Ledrook, peeping in from thebedroom.'Say,whenshecomesback,thatsheexertsherselftoomuch.'

MissLedrookekedoutthisspeechwithsomanymysteriousnodsandfrownsbefore she shut the door again, that a profound silence came upon all thecompany,duringwhichMissSnevellicci'spapalookedverybigindeedseveralsizeslargerthanlifeateverybodyinturn,butparticularlyatNicholas,andkepton perpetually emptying his tumbler and filling it again, until the ladiesreturnedinacluster,withMissSnevellicciamongthem.

'Youneedn'talarmyourselfabit,MrSnevellicci,'saidMrsLillyvick. 'Sheisonlyalittleweakandnervous;shehasbeensoeversincethemorning.'

'Oh,'saidMrSnevellicci,'that'sall,isit?'

'Ohyes,that'sall.Don'tmakeafussaboutit,'criedalltheladiestogether.

Now this was not exactly the kind of reply suited to Mr Snevellicci'simportance as a man and a father, so he picked out the unfortunate MrsSnevellicci,andaskedherwhatthedevilshemeantbytalkingtohiminthatway.

'Dearme,mydear!'saidMrsSnevellicci.

'Don'tcallmeyourdear,ma'am,'saidMrSnevellicci,'ifyouplease.'

'Pray,pa,don't,'interposedMissSnevellicci.

'Don'twhat,mychild?'

'Talkinthatway.'

'Whynot?'saidMrSnevellicci.'Ihopeyoudon'tsupposethere'sanybodyherewhoistopreventmytalkingasIlike?'

'Nobodywantsto,pa,'rejoinedhisdaughter.

'Nobodywouldiftheydidwantto,'saidMrSnevellicci.'Iamnotashamedofmyself,Snevellicciismyname;I'mtobefoundinBroadCourt,BowStreet,whenI'mintown.IfI'mnotathome,letanymanaskformeatthestagedoor.Damme, theyknowmeat thestagedoor I suppose.Mostmenhaveseenmyportrait at the cigar shop round the corner. I've been mentioned in thenewspapersbeforenow,haven'tI?Talk!I'lltellyouwhat;ifIfoundoutthatanymanhadbeen tamperingwith the affectionsofmydaughter, Iwouldn'ttalk.I'dastonishhimwithouttalking;that'smyway.'

Sosaying,MrSnevelliccistruckthepalmofhis lefthandthreesmartblowswith his clenched fist; pulled a phantom nose with his right thumb andforefinger, and swallowed another glassful at a draught. 'That's my way,'repeatedMrSnevellicci.

Mostpubliccharactershavetheirfailings;andthetruthisthatMrSnevellicciwasalittleaddictedtodrinking;or,ifthewholetruthmustbetold,thathewasscarcely ever sober. He knew in his cups three distinct stages ofintoxication,the dignifiedthe quarrelsomethe amorous. When professionallyengagedhenevergotbeyondthedignified;inprivatecircleshewentthroughallthree,passingfromonetoanotherwitharapidityoftransitionoftenratherperplexingtothosewhohadnotthehonourofhisacquaintance.

ThusMrSnevelliccihadnosoonerswallowedanotherglassfulthanhesmiledupon all present in happy forgetfulness of having exhibited symptoms ofpugnacity, andproposed 'The ladies!Bless theirhearts!' in amostvivaciousmanner.

'I love 'em,' saidMr Snevellicci, looking round the table, 'I love 'em, everyone.'

'Noteveryone,'reasonedMrLillyvick,mildly.

'Yes,everyone,'repeatedMrSnevellicci.

'Thatwouldincludethemarriedladies,youknow,'saidMrLillyvick.

'Ilovethemtoo,sir,'saidMrSnevellicci.

The collector looked into the surrounding faces with an aspect of graveastonishment, seeming to say, 'This is a nice man!' and appeared a littlesurprised that Mrs Lillyvick's manner yielded no evidences of horror andindignation.

'Onegood turndeservesanother,' saidMrSnevellicci. 'I love themand theylove me.' And as if this avowal were not made in sufficient disregard anddefiance of all moral obligations, what did Mr Snevellicci do? Hewinkedwinked openly and undisguisedly; winked with his right eyeuponHenriettaLillyvick!

The collector fell back in his chair in the intensity of his astonishment. Ifanybody had winked at her as Henrietta Petowker, it would have beenindecorousinthelastdegree;butasMrsLillyvick!Whilehethoughtofitinacold perspiration, and wondered whether it was possible that he could bedreaming,MrSnevelliccirepeatedthewink,anddrinkingtoMrsLillyvickindumb show, actually blew her a kiss! Mr Lillyvick left his chair, walkedstraightup to theotherendof the table, and felluponhimliterally felluponhiminstantaneously.MrLillyvickwasnolightweight,andconsequentlywhenhefelluponMrSnevellicci,MrSnevelliccifellunderthetable.MrLillyvickfollowedhim,andtheladiesscreamed.

'Whatisthematterwiththemen!Aretheymad?'criedNicholas,divingunderthe table, dragging up the collector by main force, and thrusting him, alldoubledup,intoachair,asifhehadbeenastuffedfigure.'Whatdoyoumeantodo?Whatdoyouwanttodo?Whatisthematterwithyou?'

WhileNicholasraisedupthecollector,SmikehadperformedthesameofficeforMrSnevellicci,whonowregardedhislateadversaryintipsyamazement.

'Lookhere,sir,'repliedMrLillyvick,pointingtohisastonishedwife, 'hereis

purity and elegance combined, whose feelings have been outragedviolated,sir!'

'Lor, what nonsense he talks!' exclaimed Mrs Lillyvick in answer to theinquiringlookofNicholas.'Nobodyhassaidanythingtome.'

'Said,Henrietta!' cried the collector. 'Didn't I see him'MrLillyvick couldn'tbringhimselftouttertheword,buthecounterfeitedthemotionoftheeye.

'Well!'criedMrsLillyvick.'Doyousupposenobodyisevertolookatme?Aprettythingtobemarriedindeed,ifthatwaslaw!'

'Youdidn'tmindit?'criedthecollector.

'Mind it!' repeatedMrsLillyvickcontemptuously. 'Youought togodownonyourkneesandbegeverybody'spardon,thatyouought.'

'Pardon,mydear?'saidthedismayedcollector.

'Yes, andmine first,' repliedMrsLillyvick. 'Do you suppose I ain't the bestjudgeofwhat'sproperandwhat'simproper?'

'Tobesure,'criedalltheladies.'DoyousupposeWEshouldn'tbethefirsttospeak,iftherewasanythingthatoughttobetakennoticeof?'

'DoyousupposeTHEYdon'tknow,sir?'saidMissSnevellicci'spapa,pullinguphiscollar,andmutteringsomethingaboutapunchingofheads,andbeingonlywithheld by considerations of age.WithwhichMissSnevellicci's papalookedsteadilyandsternlyatMrLillyvickforsomeseconds,andthenrisingdeliberately from his chair, kissed the ladies all round, beginningwithMrsLillyvick.

Theunhappycollectorlookedpiteouslyathiswife,asiftoseewhethertherewas any one trait of Miss Petowker left in Mrs Lillyvick, and finding toosurely that there was not, begged pardon of all the company with greathumility, and sat down such a crestfallen, dispirited, disenchantedman, thatdespiteallhisselfishnessanddotage,hewasquiteanobjectofcompassion.

Miss Snevellicci's papa being greatly exalted by this triumph, andincontestableproofofhispopularitywiththefairsex,quicklygrewconvivial,not tosayuproarious;volunteeringmore thanonesongofno inconsiderablelength, and regaling the social circle betweenwhiles with recollections ofdivers splendid women who had been supposed to entertain a passion forhimself,severalofwhomhetoastedbyname,takingoccasiontoremarkatthesametimethatifhehadbeenalittlemorealivetohisowninterest,hemighthavebeen rollingat thatmoment inhischariotandfour.These reminiscencesappearedtoawakennoverytorturingpangsinthebreastofMrsSnevellicci,

whowas sufficiently occupied in descanting toNicholas upon themanifoldaccomplishmentsandmeritsofherdaughter.Norwastheyoungladyherselfatallbehindhandindisplayingherchoicestallurements;butthese,heightenedas they were by the artifices of Miss Ledrook, had no effect whatever inincreasingtheattentionsofNicholas,who,withtheprecedentofMissSqueersstill fresh in his memory, steadily resisted every fascination, and placed sostrictaguarduponhisbehaviourthatwhenhehadtakenhisleavetheladieswereunanimousinpronouncinghimquiteamonsterofinsensibility.

Nextdaythepostersappearedinduecourse,andthepublicwereinformed,inall the colours of the rainbow, and in letters afflicted with every possiblevariationofspinaldeformity,howthatMrJohnsonwouldhavethehonourofmakinghislastappearancethatevening,andhowthatanearlyapplicationforplaceswasrequested,inconsequenceoftheextraordinaryoverflowattendanton his performances,it being a remarkable fact in theatrical history, but onelongsinceestablishedbeyonddispute,thatitisahopelessendeavourtoattractpeople to a theatre unless they canbe first brought to believe that theywillnevergetintoit.

Nicholaswassomewhatataloss,onenteringthetheatreatnight,toaccountfortheunusualperturbationandexcitementvisibleinthecountenancesofallthecompany,buthewasnotlongindoubtastothecause,forbeforehecouldmakeany inquiryrespecting itMrCrummlesapproached,and inanagitatedtoneofvoice,informedhimthattherewasaLondonmanagerintheboxes.

'It's thephenomenon,dependuponit,sir,'saidCrummles,draggingNicholasto the little hole in the curtain that he might look through at the Londonmanager. 'Ihavenotthesmallestdoubtit'sthefameofthephenomenonthat'stheman;him in thegreatcoatandnoshirtcollar.Sheshallhave tenpoundaweek,Johnson;sheshallnotappearontheLondonboardsforafarthingless.They shan't engage her either, unless they engageMrsCrummles tootwentypoundaweekforthepair;orI'lltellyouwhat,I'llthrowinmyselfandthetwoboys,andtheyshallhavethefamilyforthirty.Ican'tsayfairerthanthat.Theymusttakeusall,ifnoneofuswillgowithouttheothers.That'sthewaysomeoftheLondonpeopledo,anditalwaysanswers.Thirtypoundaweekit'stoocheap,Johnson.It'sdirtcheap.'

Nicholas replied, that it certainly was; and Mr Vincent Crummles takingseveralhugepinchesofsnufftocomposehisfeelings,hurriedawaytotellMrsCrummlesthathehadquitesettledtheonlytermsthatcouldbeaccepted,andhadresolvednottoabateonesinglefarthing.

When everybody was dressed and the curtain went up, the excitementoccasionedbythepresenceoftheLondonmanagerincreasedathousandfold.Everybody happened to know that the London manager had come down

specially towitnesshisorherownperformance,andallwere ina flutterofanxiety and expectation. Some of thosewhowere not on in the first scene,hurried to thewings, and there stretched their necks to have a peep at him;othersstoleupintothetwolittleprivateboxesoverthestagedoors,andfromthat position reconnoitred the London manager. Once the London managerwas seen to smilehe smiledat thecomiccountryman'spretending tocatchabluebottle,whileMrsCrummleswasmakinghergreatesteffect. 'Verygood,myfinefellow,'saidMrCrummles,shakinghisfistatthecomiccountrymanwhenhecameoff,'youleavethiscompanynextSaturdaynight.'

Inthesameway,everybodywhowasonthestagebeheldnoaudiencebutoneindividual;everybodyplayedtotheLondonmanager.WhenMrLenvilleinasudden burst of passion called the emperor amiscreant, and then biting hisglove,said, 'ButImustdissemble,' insteadoflookinggloomilyattheboardsand sowaiting forhis cue, as isproper in suchcases, hekepthis eye fixedupon theLondonmanager.WhenMissBravassa sangher songather lover,who according to custom stood ready to shake handswith her between theverses, they looked, not at each other, but at the London manager. MrCrummlesdiedpointblankathim;andwhenthetwoguardscameintotakethebodyoffafteraveryharddeath,itwasseentoopenitseyesandglanceatthe London manager. At length the London manager was discovered to beasleep, and shortly after that hewokeup andwent away,whereupon all thecompany fell foul of the unhappy comic countryman, declaring that hisbuffoonerywasthesolecause;andMrCrummlessaid,thathehadputupwithit a long time, but that he really couldn't stand it any longer, and thereforewouldfeelobligedbyhislookingoutforanotherengagement.

AllthiswastheoccasionofmuchamusementtoNicholas,whoseonlyfeelinguponthesubjectwasoneofsinceresatisfactionthatthegreatmanwentawaybeforeheappeared.Hewentthroughhispartinthetwolastpiecesasbrisklyas he could, and having been received with unbounded favour andunprecedentedapplausesosaidthebillsfornextday,whichhadbeenprintedanhourortwobeforehetookSmike'sarmandwalkedhometobed.

With the post nextmorning came a letter fromNewmanNoggs, very inky,very short, very dirty, very small, and very mysterious, urging Nicholas toreturn to London instantly; not to lose an instant; to be there that night ifpossible.

'Iwill,'saidNicholas. 'HeavenknowsIhaveremainedherefor thebest,andsorelyagainstmyownwill;butevennowImayhavedalliedtoolong.Whatcanhavehappened?Smike,mygoodfellow,heretakemypurse.Putourthingstogether,andpaywhat littledebtsweowequick,andweshallbe in timeforthemorningcoach.Iwillonlytellthemthatwearegoing,andwillreturnto

youimmediately.'

So saying, he took his hat, and hurrying away to the lodgings of MrCrummles,appliedhishandtotheknockerwithsuchheartygoodwill,thatheawakenedthatgentleman,whowasstillinbed,andcausedMrBulphthepilottotakehismorning'spipeverynearlyoutofhismouthintheextremityofhissurprise.

The door being opened, Nicholas ran upstairs without any ceremony, andburstingintothedarkenedsittingroomontheonepairfront,foundthatthetwoMasterCrummleseshadsprungoutof thesofabedsteadandwereputtingontheirclotheswithgreatrapidity,undertheimpressionthatitwasthemiddleofthenight,andthenexthousewasonfire.

Beforehecouldundeceivethem,MrCrummlescamedowninaflannelgownand nightcap; and to himNicholas briefly explained that circumstances hadoccurredwhichrendereditnecessaryforhimtorepairtoLondonimmediately.

'Sogoodbye,'saidNicholas;'goodbye,goodbye.'

Hewas halfway downstairs beforeMrCrummles had sufficiently recoveredhissurprisetogaspoutsomethingabouttheposters.

'I can'thelp it,' repliedNicholas. 'Setwhatever Imayhaveearned thisweekagainst them, or if that will not repay you, say at once what will. Quick,quick.'

'We'll cry quits about that,' returned Crummles. 'But can't we have one lastnightmore?'

'Notanhournotaminute,'repliedNicholas,impatiently.

'Won't you stop to say something to Mrs Crummles?' asked the manager,followinghimdowntothedoor.

'I couldn't stop if it were to prolong my life a score of years,' rejoinedNicholas.'Here,takemyhand,andwithitmyheartythanks.Oh!thatIshouldhavebeenfoolinghere!'

Accompanyingthesewordswithanimpatientstampupontheground,hetorehimself from the manager's detaining grasp, and darting rapidly down thestreetwasoutofsightinaninstant.

'Dearme,dearme,'saidMrCrummles,lookingwistfullytowardsthepointatwhichhehadjustdisappeared;'ifheonlyactedlikethat,whatadealofmoneyhe'ddraw!Heshouldhavekeptuponthiscircuit;he'dhavebeenveryusefultome.Buthedon'tknowwhat'sgoodforhim.Heisanimpetuousyouth.Youngmenarerash,veryrash.'

MrCrummlesbeinginamoralisingmood,mightpossiblyhavemoralisedforsome minutes longer if he had not mechanically put his hand towards hiswaistcoatpocket,wherehewasaccustomedtokeephissnuff.Theabsenceofanypocket at all in theusualdirection, suddenly recalled tohis recollectionthefactthathehadnowaistcoaton;andthisleadinghimtoacontemplationofthe extreme scantiness of his attire, he shut the door abruptly, and retiredupstairswithgreatprecipitation.

Smike hadmade good speedwhile Nicholas was absent, andwith his helpeverythingwassoonreadyfortheirdeparture.Theyscarcelystoppedtotakeamorselofbreakfast, and in less thanhalfanhourarrivedat thecoachoffice:quiteoutofbreathwiththehastetheyhadmadetoreachitintime.Therewereyetafewminutestospare,so,havingsecuredtheplaces,Nicholashurriedintoaslopseller'shardby,andboughtSmikeagreatcoat.Itwouldhavebeenratherlarge for a substantial yeoman, but the shopman averring (and withconsiderable truth) that it was a most uncommon fit, Nicholas would havepurchaseditinhisimpatienceifithadbeentwicethesize.

As they hurried up to the coach,whichwas now in the open street and allreadyforstarting,Nicholaswasnotalittleastonishedtofindhimselfsuddenlyclutched inacloseandviolentembrace,whichnearly tookhimoffhis legs;norwashisamazementatalllessenedbyhearingthevoiceofMrCrummlesexclaim,'Itishemyfriend,myfriend!'

'Blessmyheart,' criedNicholas, struggling in themanager's arms, 'what areyouabout?'

Themanagermadenoreply,butstrainedhimtohisbreastagain,exclaimingashedidso,'Farewell,mynoble,mylionheartedboy!'

Infact,MrCrummles,whocouldneverloseanyopportunityforprofessionaldisplay,hadturnedoutfortheexpresspurposeoftakingapublicfarewellofNicholas; and to render it the more imposing, he was now, to that younggentleman'smostprofoundannoyance,inflictinguponhimarapidsuccessionof stage embraces, which, as everybody knows, are performed by theembracer'slayinghisorherchinontheshoulderoftheobjectofaffection,andlooking over it. ThisMr Crummles did in the highest style of melodrama,pouringforthatthesametimeallthemostdismalformsoffarewellhecouldthink of, out of the stock pieces. Nor was this all, for the elder MasterCrummleswasgoing througha similar ceremonywithSmike;whileMasterPercyCrummles,withaverylittlesecondhandcamletcloak,worntheatricallyoverhisleftshoulder,stoodby,intheattitudeofanattendantofficer,waitingtoconveythetwovictimstothescaffold.

Thelookersonlaughedveryheartily,andasitwasaswelltoputagoodface

uponthematter,Nicholaslaughedtoowhenhehadsucceededindisengaginghimself;andrescuingtheastonishedSmike,climbeduptothecoachroofafterhim,andkissedhishandinhonouroftheabsentMrsCrummlesastheyrolledaway.

CHAPTER31

Of Ralph Nickleby and Newman Noggs, and some wise Precautions, thesuccessorfailureofwhichwillappearintheSequel

Inblissfulunconsciousnessthathisnephewwashasteningattheutmostspeedof four good horses towards his sphere of action, and that every passingminute diminished the distance between them, Ralph Nickleby sat thatmorningoccupiedinhiscustomaryavocations,andyetunabletopreventhisthoughtswanderingfromtimetotimebacktotheinterviewwhichhadtakenplace between himself and his niece on the previous day.At such intervals,after a few moments of abstraction, Ralph would mutter some peevishinterjection, and apply himself with renewed steadiness of purpose to theledgerbeforehim,butagainandagain the same trainof thoughtcamebackdespite all his efforts to prevent it, confusing him in his calculations, andutterlydistractinghisattentionfromthefiguresoverwhichhebent.AtlengthRalphlaiddownhispen,andthrewhimselfbackinhischairasthoughhehadmadeuphismindtoallowtheobtrusivecurrentofreflectiontotakeitsowncourse,and,bygivingitfullscope,toridhimselfofiteffectually.

'Iamnotamantobemovedbyaprettyface,'mutteredRalphsternly.'Thereisa grinning skull beneath it, andmen likemewho look andwork below thesurfaceseethat,andnotitsdelicatecovering.AndyetIalmostlikethegirl,orshould if shehadbeen less proudly and squeamishlybrought up. If theboyweredrownedorhanged,andthemotherdead,thishouseshouldbeherhome.Iwishtheywere,withallmysoul.'

NotwithstandingthedeadlyhatredwhichRalphfelttowardsNicholas,andthebittercontemptwithwhichhe sneeredatpoorMrsNicklebynotwithstandingthebasenesswithwhichhehadbehaved,andwasthenbehaving,andwouldbehaveagainifhisinterestpromptedhim,towardsKateherselfstilltherewas,strange though it may seem, something humanising and even gentle in histhoughtsatthatmoment.HethoughtofwhathishomemightbeifKatewerethere;heplacedherintheemptychair,lookeduponher,heardherspeak;hefeltagainuponhisarmthegentlepressureofthetremblinghand;hestrewedhis costly rooms with the hundred silent tokens of feminine presence and

occupation; he came back again to the cold fireside and the silent drearysplendour;andinthatoneglimpseofabetternature,bornasitwasinselfishthoughts, the richmanfelthimself friendless,childless,andalone.Gold, fortheinstant,lostitslustreinhiseyes,fortherewerecountlesstreasuresoftheheartwhichitcouldneverpurchase.

Averyslightcircumstancewassufficient tobanishsuchreflectionsfromthemindofsuchaman.AsRalphlookedvacantlyoutacrosstheyardtowardsthewindow of the other office, he became suddenly aware of the earnestobservation ofNewmanNoggs,who,with his red nose almost touching theglass,feignedtobemendingapenwitharustyfragmentofaknife,butwasinreality staring at his employer with a countenance of the closest and mosteagerscrutiny.

Ralphexchangedhisdreamypostureforhisaccustomedbusinessattitude:theface of Newman disappeared, and the train of thought took to flight, allsimultaneously,andinaninstant.

After a fewminutes, Ralph rang his bell.Newman answered the summons,andRalphraisedhiseyesstealthilytohisface,asifhealmostfearedtoreadthere,aknowledgeofhisrecentthoughts.

There was not the smallest speculation, however, in the countenance ofNewmanNoggs.Ifitbepossibletoimagineaman,withtwoeyesinhishead,and both wide open, looking in no direction whatever, and seeing nothing,NewmanappearedtobethatmanwhileRalphNicklebyregardedhim.

'Hownow?'growledRalph.

'Oh!'saidNewman,throwingsomeintelligenceintohiseyesallatonce,anddroppingthemonhismaster,'Ithoughtyourang.'WithwhichlaconicremarkNewmanturnedroundandhobbledaway.

'Stop!'saidRalph.

Newmanstopped;notatalldisconcerted.

'Ididring.'

'Iknewyoudid.'

'Thenwhydoyouoffertogoifyouknowthat?'

'Ithoughtyourangtosayyoudidn'tring,'repliedNewman.'Youoftendo.'

'Howdareyoupry,andpeer,andstareatme,sirrah?'demandedRalph.

'Stare!' cried Newman, 'at YOU! Ha, ha!' which was all the explanationNewmandeignedtooffer.

'Becareful,sir,'saidRalph,lookingsteadilyathim.'Letmehavenodrunkenfoolinghere.Doyouseethisparcel?'

'It'sbigenough,'rejoinedNewman.

'Carry it into thecity; toCross, inBroadStreet, and leave it therequick.Doyouhear?'

Newman gave a dogged kind of nod to express an affirmative reply, and,leaving the room for a few seconds, returned with his hat. Having madevariousineffectiveattemptstofittheparcel(whichwassometwofeetsquare)intothecrownthereof,Newmantookitunderhisarm,andafterputtingonhisfingerlessgloveswithgreatprecisionandnicety,keepinghiseyesfixeduponMr RalphNickleby all the time, he adjusted his hat upon his headwith asmuch care, real or pretended, as if it were a brannew one of the mostexpensivequality,andatlastdepartedonhiserrand.

Heexecutedhiscommissionwithgreatpromptitudeanddispatch,onlycallingatonepublichouseforhalfaminute,andeventhatmightbesaidtobeinhisway,forhewentinatonedoorandcameoutattheother;butashereturnedandhadgotsofarhomewardsastheStrand,Newmanbegantoloiterwiththeuncertainairofamanwhohasnotquitemadeuphismindwhethertohaltorgostraight forwards.Afteravery shortconsideration, the former inclinationprevailed, and making towards the point he had had in his mind, Newmanknocked amodest doubleknock, or rather a nervous singleone, atMissLaCreevy'sdoor.

Itwasopenedbyastrangeservant,onwhomtheoddfigureofthevisitordidnotappeartomakethemostfavourableimpressionpossible,inasmuchasshenosoonersawhim thansheverynearlyclosed it, andplacingherself in thenarrow gap, inquired what he wanted. But Newman merely uttering themonosyllable 'Noggs,' as if itwere somecabalisticword, at soundofwhichboltswouldflybackanddoorsopen,pushedbrisklypastandgainedthedoorofMissLaCreevy'ssittingroom,beforetheastonishedservantcouldofferanyopposition.

'Walkinifyouplease,'saidMissLaCreevyinreplytothesoundofNewman'sknuckles;andinhewalkedaccordingly.

'Blessus!'criedMissLaCreevy,startingasNewmanboltedin;'whatdidyouwant,sir?'

'You have forgotten me,' said Newman, with an inclination of the head. 'Iwonderatthat.Thatnobodyshouldremembermewhoknewmeinotherdays,isnatural enough;but there are fewpeoplewho, seeingmeonce, forgetmeNOW.'Heglanced,ashespoke,athisshabbyclothesandparalyticlimb,and

slightlyshookhishead.

'Idid forgetyou, Ideclare,' saidMissLaCreevy, rising to receiveNewman,whometherhalfway,'andIamashamedofmyselffordoingso;foryouareakind,goodcreature,MrNoggs.SitdownandtellmeallaboutMissNickleby.Poordearthing!Ihaven'tseenherforthismanyaweek.'

'How'sthat?'askedNewman.

'Why,thetruthis,MrNoggs,'saidMissLaCreevy,'thatIhavebeenoutonavisitthefirstvisitIhavemadeforfifteenyears.'

'Thatisalongtime,'saidNewman,sadly.

'So it is a very long time to look back upon in years, though, somehow orother, thank Heaven, the solitary days roll away peacefully and happilyenough,' replied the miniature painter. 'I have a brother,Mr Noggsthe onlyrelation I haveand all that time I never saw him once. Not that we everquarrelled, but hewas apprenticed down in the country, and he gotmarriedthere; and new ties and affections springing up about him, he forgot a poorlittlewoman likeme, as itwas very reasonable he should, youknow.Don'tsupposethatIcomplainaboutthat,becauseIalwayssaidtomyself,"Itisverynatural;poordearJohnismakinghiswayintheworld,andhasawifetotellhis caresand troubles to, andchildrennow toplayabouthim, soGodblesshimandthem,andsendwemayallmeettogetheronedaywhereweshallpartno more." But what do you think, Mr Noggs,' said the miniature painter,brighteningupandclappingherhands, 'ofthatverysamebrothercominguptoLondonatlast,andneverrestingtillhefoundmeout;whatdoyouthinkofhis coming here and sitting down in that very chair, and crying like a childbecausehewassogladtoseemewhatdoyouthinkofhisinsistingontakingmedown all theway into the country to his ownhouse (quite a sumptuousplace,MrNoggs,withalargegardenandIdon'tknowhowmanyfields,andamaninliverywaitingattable,andcowsandhorsesandpigsandIdon'tknowwhatbesides), andmakingmestayawholemonth,andpressingme to stopthereallmylifeyes,allmylifeandsodidhiswife,andsodidthechildrenandtherewerefourofthem,andone,theeldestgirlofall,theytheyhadnamedheraftermeeightgoodyearsbefore,theyhadindeed.Ineverwassohappy;inallmy life Ineverwas!'Theworthy soulhidher face inherhandkerchief, andsobbedaloud;foritwasthefirstopportunityshehadhadofunburdeningherheart,anditwouldhaveitsway.

'Butblessmylife,'saidMissLaCreevy,wipinghereyesafterashortpause,andcrammingherhandkerchiefintoherpocketwithgreatbustleanddispatch;'whatafoolishcreatureImustseemtoyou,MrNoggs!Ishouldn'thavesaidanything about it, only Iwanted to explain to you how itwas I hadn't seen

MissNickleby.'

'Haveyouseentheoldlady?'askedNewman.

'YoumeanMrsNickleby?' saidMiss La Creevy. 'Then I tell youwhat,MrNoggs,ifyouwanttokeepinthegoodbooksinthatquarter,youhadbetternotcallhertheoldladyanymore,forIsuspectshewouldn'tbebestpleasedtohearyou.Yes,Iwenttherethenightbeforelast,butshewasquiteonthehighropesaboutsomething,andwassograndandmysterious,thatIcouldn'tmakeanythingofher:so,totellyouthetruth,Itookitintomyheadtobegrandtoo,andcameaway in state. I thought shewouldhavecome roundagainbeforethis,butshehasn'tbeenhere.'

'AboutMissNickleby'saidNewman.

'Why,shewasheretwicewhileIwasaway,'returnedMissLaCreevy.'Iwasafraidshemightn'tliketohavemecallingonheramongthosegreatfolksinwhat'sitsnamePlace,soIthoughtI'dwaitadayortwo,andifIdidn'tseeher,write.'

'Ah!'exclaimedNewman,crackinghisfingers.

'However, I want to hear all the news about them from you,' saidMiss LaCreevy.'HowistheoldroughandtoughmonsterofGoldenSquare?Well,ofcourse;suchpeoplealwaysare.Idon'tmeanhowisheinhealth,buthowishegoingon:howishebehavinghimself?'

'Damnhim!'criedNewman,dashinghischerishedhatonthefloor;'likeafalsehound.'

'Gracious, Mr Noggs, you quite terrify me!' exclaimed Miss La Creevy,turningpale.

'IshouldhavespoilthisfeaturesyesterdayafternoonifIcouldhaveaffordedit,'saidNewman,movingrestlesslyabout,andshakinghisfistataportraitofMrCanningoverthemantelpiece.'Iwasverynearit.Iwasobligedtoputmyhandsinmypockets,andkeep'emthereverytight.Ishalldoitsomedayinthat littlebackparlour, IknowI shall. I shouldhavedone itbeforenow, if Ihadn'tbeenafraidofmakingbadworse.IshalldoublelockmyselfinwithhimandhaveitoutbeforeIdie,I'mquitecertainofit.'

'I shall scream if you don't compose yourself, Mr Noggs,' said Miss LaCreevy;'I'msureIshan'tbeabletohelpit.'

'Nevermind,'rejoinedNewman,dartingviolentlytoandfro.'He'scominguptonight: I wrote to tell him. He little thinks I know; he little thinks I care.Cunningscoundrel!hedon'tthinkthat.Nothe,nothe.Nevermind,I'llthwart

himI,NewmanNoggs.Ho,ho,therascal!'

Lashing himself up to an extravagant pitch of fury, NewmanNoggs jerkedhimselfabouttheroomwiththemosteccentricmotioneverbeheldinahumanbeing: now sparring at the little miniatures on the wall, and now givinghimself violent thumps on the head, as if to heighten the delusion, until hesankdowninhisformerseatquitebreathlessandexhausted.

'There,' said Newman, picking up his hat; 'that's done me good. Now I'mbetter,andI'lltellyouallaboutit.'

It took some little time to reassure Miss La Creevy, who had been almostfrightenedoutofhersensesbythisremarkabledemonstration;butthatdone,Newman faithfully relatedall thathadpassed in the interviewbetweenKateand her uncle, prefacing his narrative with a statement of his previoussuspicionson thesubject, andhis reasons for forming them;andconcludingwithacommunicationofthestephehadtakeninsecretlywritingtoNicholas.

ThoughlittleMissLaCreevy'sindignationwasnotsosingularlydisplayedasNewman's,itwasscarcelyinferiorinviolenceandintensity.Indeed,ifRalphNicklebyhadhappened tomakehisappearance in theroomat thatmoment,thereissomedoubtwhetherhewouldnothavefoundMissLaCreevyamoredangerousopponentthanevenNewmanNoggshimself.

'God forgiveme for saying so,' saidMissLaCreevy, as awindup to allherexpressions of anger, 'but I really feel as if I could stick this into himwithpleasure.'

It was not a very awful weapon thatMiss La Creevy held, it being in factnothingmorenorlessthanablackleadpencil;butdiscoveringhermistake,thelittleportraitpainterexchangedit foramotherofpearl fruitknife,wherewith,in proof of her desperate thoughts, she made a lunge as she spoke, whichwouldhavescarcelydisturbedthecrumbofahalfquarternloaf.

'Shewon'tstopwheresheisaftertonight,'saidNewman.'That'sacomfort.'

'Stop!'criedMissLaCreevy,'sheshouldhaveleftthere,weeksago.'

'If we had known of this,' rejoinedNewman. 'Butwe didn't. Nobody couldproperly interfere but her mother or brother. The mother's weakpoorthingweak.Thedearyoungmanwillbeheretonight.'

'Heart alive!' cried Miss La Creevy. 'He will do something desperate, MrNoggs,ifyoutellhimallatonce.'

Newmanleftoffrubbinghishands,andassumedathoughtfullook.

'Dependuponit,'saidMissLaCreevy,earnestly,'ifyouarenotverycarefulin

breakingoutthetruthtohim,hewilldosomeviolenceuponhisuncleoroneof thesemen thatwill bring some terrible calamity uponhis ownhead, andgriefandsorrowtousall.'

'Ineverthoughtofthat,'rejoinedNewman,hiscountenancefallingmoreandmore.'Icametoaskyoutoreceivehissisterincasehebroughtherhere,but'

'Butthisisamatterofmuchgreaterimportance,'interruptedMissLaCreevy;'thatyoumighthavebeensureofbeforeyoucame,buttheendofthis,nobodycanforesee,unlessyouareveryguardedandcareful.'

'What CAN I do?' cried Newman, scratching his head with an air of greatvexation and perplexity. 'If he was to talk of pistoling 'em all, I should beobligedtosay,"Certainlyserve'emright."'

Miss La Creevy could not suppress a small shriek on hearing this, andinstantlysetaboutextortingasolemnpledgefromNewmanthathewouldusehis utmost endeavours to pacify the wrath of Nicholas; which, after somedemur,was conceded.They then consulted togetheron the safest and surestmode of communicating to him the circumstances which had rendered hispresencenecessary.

'Hemusthavetimetocoolbeforehecanpossiblydoanything,'saidMissLaCreevy.'Thatisofthegreatestconsequence.Hemustnotbetolduntillateatnight.'

'Buthe'llbeintownbetweensixandseventhisevening,'repliedNewman.'Ican'tkeepitfromhimwhenheasksme.'

'Thenyoumustgoout,MrNoggs,'saidMissLaCreevy.'Youcaneasilyhavebeenkeptawaybybusiness,andmustnotreturntillnearlymidnight.'

'Thenhewillcomestraighthere,'retortedNewman.

'SoIsuppose,'observedMissLaCreevy;'buthewon'tfindmeathome,forI'llgo straight to the city the instant you leaveme,make upmatterswithMrsNickleby, and take her away to the theatre, so that he may not even knowwherehissisterlives.'

Upon further discussion, this appeared the safest andmost feasiblemodeofproceedingthatcouldpossiblybeadopted.Thereforeitwasfinallydeterminedthat matters should be so arranged, and Newman, after listening to manysupplementarycautionsandentreaties,tookhisleaveofMissLaCreevyandtrudgedbacktoGoldenSquare;ruminatingashewentuponavastnumberofpossibilitiesandimpossibilitieswhichcrowdeduponhisbrain,andaroseoutoftheconversationthathadjustterminated.

CHAPTER32

Relating chiefly to some remarkable Conversation, and some remarkableProceedingstowhichitgivesrise

'London at last!' cried Nicholas, throwing back his greatcoat and rousingSmikefromalongnap.'Itseemedtomeasthoughweshouldneverreachit.'

'Andyetyoucamealongatatidypacetoo,'observedthecoachman,lookingoverhisshoulderatNicholaswithnoverypleasantexpressionofcountenance.

'Ay, I know that,'was the reply; 'but I have been very anxious to be atmyjourney'send,andthatmakesthewayseemlong.'

'Well,' remarked the coachman, 'if theway seemed longwith such cattle asyou've sat behind, youMUST have beenmost uncommon anxious;' and sosaying,heletouthiswhiplashandtouchedupalittleboyonthecalvesofhislegsbywayofemphasis.

They rattled on through the noisy, bustling, crowded street of London, nowdisplaying longdouble rowsofbrightlyburning lamps,dottedhereand therewith the chemists' glaring lights, and illuminated besides with the brilliantfloodthatstreamedfromthewindowsoftheshops,wheresparklingjewellery,silksandvelvetsoftherichestcolours,themostinvitingdelicacies,andmostsumptuous articles of luxurious ornament, succeeded each other in rich andglitteringprofusion.Streamsofpeopleapparentlywithoutendpouredonandon,jostlingeachotherinthecrowdandhurryingforward,scarcelyseemingtonotice the riches that surrounded them on every side; while vehicles of allshapes and makes, mingled up together in one moving mass, like runningwater,lenttheirceaselessroartoswellthenoiseandtumult.

Astheydashedbythequicklychangingandevervaryingobjects,itwascuriousto observe in what a strange procession they passed before the eye.Emporiumsof splendiddresses, thematerials brought fromeveryquarter ofthe world; tempting stores of everything to stimulate and pamper the satedappetiteandgivenewrelishtotheoftrepeatedfeast;vesselsofburnishedgoldand silver,wrought into every exquisite formof vase, and dish, and goblet;guns,swords,pistols,andpatentenginesofdestruction;screwsandironsforthecrooked,clothesforthenewlyborn,drugsforthesick,coffinsforthedead,and churchyards for the buriedall these jumbled each with the other andflocking side by side, seemed to flit by in motley dance like the fantasticgroups of the old Dutch painter, and with the same stern moral for theunheedingrestlesscrowd.

Nor were there wanting objects in the crowd itself to give new point andpurposetotheshiftingscene.Theragsofthesqualidballadsingerflutteredintherichlightthatshowedthegoldsmith'streasures,paleandpinchedupfaceshoveredaboutthewindowswherewastemptingfood,hungryeyeswanderedover the profusion guarded by one thin sheet of brittle glassan ironwall tothem; halfnaked shivering figures stopped to gaze at Chinese shawls andgolden stuffs of India. There was a christening party at the largestcoffinmaker'sandafuneralhatchmenthadstoppedsomegreatimprovementsinthebravestmansion.Lifeanddeathwenthandinhand;wealthandpovertystoodsidebyside;repletionandstarvationlaidthemdowntogether.

ButitwasLondon;andtheoldcountryladyinside,whohadputherheadoutof the coachwindow amile or two this side Kingston, and cried out to thedriverthatshewassurehemusthavepasseditandforgottentosetherdown,wassatisfiedatlast.

Nicholas engaged beds for himself and Smike at the inn where the coachstopped,andrepaired,withoutthedelayofanothermoment,tothelodgingsofNewman Noggs; for his anxiety and impatience had increased with everysucceedingminute,andwerealmostbeyondcontrol.

TherewasafireinNewman'sgarret;andacandlehadbeenleftburning;thefloorwascleanlyswept,theroomwasascomfortablyarrangedassucharoomcouldbe,andmeatanddrinkwereplacedinorderuponthetable.Everythingbespoke theaffectionatecareandattentionofNewmanNoggs,butNewmanhimselfwasnotthere.

'Doyouknowwhattimehewillbehome?'inquiredNicholas,tappingatthedoorofNewman'sfrontneighbour.

'Ah,Mr Johnson!' said Crowl, presenting himself. 'Welcome, sir. Howwellyou'relooking!Inevercouldhavebelieved'

'Pardon me,' interposed Nicholas. 'My questionI am extremely anxious toknow.'

'Why,hehasatroublesomeaffairofbusiness,'repliedCrowl,'andwillnotbehomebeforetwelveo'clock.Hewasveryunwillingtogo,Icantellyou,buttherewasnohelpforit.However,heleftwordthatyouweretomakeyourselfcomfortabletillhecameback,andthatIwastoentertainyou,whichIshallbeverygladtodo.'

In proof of his extreme readiness to exert himself for the generalentertainment,MrCrowl drew a chair to the table as he spoke, and helpinghimselfplentifullytothecoldmeat,invitedNicholasandSmiketofollowhisexample.

Disappointedanduneasy,Nicholascouldtouchnofood,so,afterhehadseenSmike comfortably established at the table, he walked out (despite a greatmanydissuasionsutteredbyMrCrowlwithhismouthfull),andleftSmiketodetainNewmanincasehereturnedfirst.

AsMissLaCreevy had anticipated,Nicholas betook himself straight to herhouse. Finding her from home, he debated within himself for some timewhetherheshouldgotohismother'sresidence,andsocompromiseherwithRalph Nickleby. Fully persuaded, however, that Newman would not havesolicitedhimtoreturnunlesstherewassomestrongreasonwhichrequiredhispresence at home, he resolved to go there, and hastened eastwardswith allspeed.

MrsNicklebywouldnotbeathome,thegirlsaid,untilpast twelve,or later.ShebelievedMissNicklebywaswell,butshedidn'tliveathomenow,nordidshecomehomeexceptveryseldom.Shecouldn'tsaywhereshewasstopping,butitwasnotatMadameMantalini's.Shewassureofthat.

Withhisheartbeatingviolently,andapprehendingheknewnotwhatdisaster,Nicholas returned towherehehad leftSmike.Newmanhadnotbeenhome.Hewouldn't be, till twelveo'clock; therewasno chanceof it.Was therenopossibilityofsendingtofetchhimifitwereonlyforaninstant,orforwardingtohimonelineofwritingtowhichhemightreturnaverbalreply?Thatwasquiteimpracticable.HewasnotatGoldenSquare,andprobablyhadbeensenttoexecutesomecommissionatadistance.

Nicholas tried to remain quietly where he was, but he felt so nervous andexcitedthathecouldnotsitstill.Heseemedtobelosingtimeunlesshewasmoving.Itwasanabsurdfancy,heknew,buthewaswhollyunabletoresistit.So,hetookuphishatandrambledoutagain.

Hestrolledwestwardthistime,pacingthelongstreetswithhurriedfootsteps,andagitatedbyathousandmisgivingsandapprehensionswhichhecouldnotovercome.HepassedintoHydePark,nowsilentanddeserted,andincreasedhis rate of walking as if in the hope of leaving his thoughts behind. Theycrowdeduponhimmorethickly,however,nowtherewerenopassingobjectsto attract his attention; and the one idea was always uppermost, that somestrokeofillfortunemusthaveoccurredsocalamitousinitsnaturethatallwerefearful of disclosing it to him.The old question arose again and againWhatcoulditbe?Nicholaswalkedtillhewasweary,butwasnotonebitthewiser;and indeed he came out of the Park at last a great dealmore confused andperplexedthanwhenhewentin.

Hehadtakenscarcelyanythingtoeatordrinksinceearlyinthemorning,andfeltquitewornoutandexhausted.Ashereturnedlanguidlytowardsthepoint

fromwhichhehadstarted,alongoneofthethoroughfareswhichliebetweenPark Lane and Bond Street, he passed a handsome hotel, before which hestoppedmechanically.

'Anexpensiveplace, Idare say,' thoughtNicholas; 'butapintofwineandabiscuitarenogreatdebauchwherevertheyarehad.AndyetIdon'tknow.'

He walked on a few steps, but looking wistfully down the long vista ofgaslampsbeforehim,andthinkinghowlongitwouldtaketoreachtheendofitandbeingbesidesinthatkindofmoodinwhichamanismostdisposedtoyieldtohisfirstimpulseandbeing,besides,stronglyattractedtothehotel, inpartbycuriosity,andinpartbysomeoddmixtureoffeelingswhichhewouldhavebeentroubledtodefineNicholasturnedbackagain,andwalkedintothecoffeeroom.

It was very handsomely furnished. The walls were ornamented with thechoicestspecimensofFrenchpaper,enrichedwithagildedcorniceofelegantdesign.Thefloorwascoveredwitharichcarpet;andtwosuperbmirrors,oneabove the chimneypiece and one at the opposite end of the room reachingfromfloortoceiling,multipliedtheotherbeautiesandaddednewonesoftheirown to enhance the general effect. There was a rather noisy party of fourgentlemen inaboxby the fireplace,andonly twootherpersonspresentbothelderlygentlemen,andbothalone.

Observing all this in the first comprehensive glance with which a strangersurveysaplacethatisnewtohim,Nicholassathimselfdownintheboxnexttothenoisyparty,withhisbacktowardsthem,andpostponinghisorderforapintof claretuntil such timeas thewaiter andoneof theelderlygentlemenshouldhavesettledadisputedquestionrelativetothepriceofaniteminthebilloffare,tookupanewspaperandbegantoread.

Hehadnotreadtwentylines,andwasin truthhimselfdozing,whenhewasstartled by themention of his sister's name. 'LittleKateNickleby'were thewordsthatcaughthisear.Heraisedhisheadinamazement,andashedidso,sawby the reflection in theoppositeglass, that twoof thepartybehindhimhad risenandwerestandingbefore the fire. 'Itmusthavecomefromoneofthem,'thoughtNicholas.Hewaitedtohearmorewithacountenanceofsomeindignation, for the toneofspeechhadbeenanythingbutrespectful,and theappearanceoftheindividualwhomhepresumedtohavebeenthespeakerwascoarseandswaggering.

ThispersonsoNicholasobservedinthesameglanceat themirrorwhichhadenabledhimtoseehisfacewasstandingwithhisback to thefireconversingwithayoungerman,whostoodwithhisback to thecompany,worehishat,and was adjusting his shirtcollar by the aid of the glass. They spoke in

whispers,nowand thenbursting intoa loud laugh,butNicholascouldcatchnorepetitionofthewords,noranythingsoundingatalllikethewords,whichhadattractedhisattention.

Atlengththetworesumedtheirseats,andmorewinebeingordered,thepartygrewlouderintheirmirth.Stilltherewasnoreferencemadetoanybodywithwhom he was acquainted, and Nicholas became persuaded that his excitedfancy had either imagined the sounds altogether, or converted some otherwordsintothenamewhichhadbeensomuchinhisthoughts.

'It is remarkable too,' thought Nicholas: 'if it had been "Kate" or "KateNickleby," I should not have been so much surprised: but "little KateNickleby!"'

The wine coming at the moment prevented his finishing the sentence. Heswallowedaglassfulandtookupthepaperagain.Atthatinstant

'LittleKateNickleby!'criedthevoicebehindhim.

'Iwasright,'mutteredNicholasasthepaperfellfromhishand.'AnditwasthemanIsupposed.'

'As therewas aproperobjection todrinkingher inheeltaps,' said thevoice,'we'llgiveherthefirstglassinthenewmagnum.LittleKateNickleby!'

'LittleKateNickleby,' cried the other three.And the glasseswere set downempty.

Keenlyalivetothetoneandmannerofthisslightandcarelessmentionofhissister's name in a public place, Nicholas fired at once; but he kept himselfquietbyagreateffort,anddidnoteventurnhishead.

'The jade!' said the same voice which had spoken before. 'She's a trueNicklebyaworthy imitatorofherolduncleRalphshehangsback tobemoresoughtaftersodoeshe;nothingtobegotoutofRalphunlessyoufollowhimup,andthenthemoneycomesdoublywelcome,andthebargaindoublyhard,foryou'reimpatientandheisn't.Oh!infernalcunning.'

'Infernalcunning,'echoedtwovoices.

Nicholaswas inaperfectagonyas the twoelderlygentlemenopposite, roseoneaftertheotherandwentaway,lesttheyshouldbethemeansofhislosingone word of what was said. But the conversation was suspended as theywithdrew, and resumed with even greater freedom when they had left theroom.

'I am afraid,' said the younger gentleman, 'that the old woman has grownjeaalous,andlockedherup.Uponmysoulitlookslikeit.'

'If they quarrel and little Nickleby goes home to her mother, so much thebetter,' said the first. 'I can do anything with the old lady. She'll believeanythingItellher.'

'Egadthat'strue,'returnedtheothervoice.'Ha,ha,ha!Poordeyvle!'

Thelaughwastakenupbythetwovoiceswhichalwayscameintogether,andbecamegeneralatMrsNickleby'sexpense.Nicholasturnedburninghotwithrage,buthecommandedhimselfforthemoment,andwaitedtohearmore.

What he heard need not be repeated here. Suffice it that as the wine wentround he heard enough to acquaint him with the characters and designs ofthosewhoseconversationheoverhead;topossesshimwiththefullextentofRalph's villainy, and the real reason of his own presence being required inLondon.Heheardall thisandmore.Heheardhissister'ssufferingsderided,and her virtuous conduct jeered at and brutally misconstrued; he heard hernamebandied frommouth tomouth, andherselfmade the subjectof coarseandinsolentwagers,freespeech,andlicentiousjesting.

The man who had spoken first, led the conversation, and indeed almostengrossed it, being only stimulated from time to time by some slightobservation from one or other of his companions. To him then Nicholasaddressed himself when he was sufficiently composed to stand before theparty,andforcethewordsfromhisparchedandscorchingthroat.

'Letmehaveawordwithyou,sir,'saidNicholas.

'Withme,sir?'retortedSirMulberryHawk,eyeinghimindisdainfulsurprise.

'I said with you,' replied Nicholas, speaking with great difficulty, for hispassionchokedhim.

'A mysterious stranger, upon my soul!' exclaimed Sir Mulberry, raising hiswineglasstohislips,andlookingrounduponhisfriends.

'Will you step apart with me for a few minutes, or do you refuse?' saidNicholassternly.

SirMulberrymerelypausedintheactofdrinking,andbadehimeithernamehisbusinessorleavethetable.

Nicholasdrewacardfromhispocket,andthrewitbeforehim.

'There,sir,'saidNicholas;'mybusinessyouwillguess.'

Amomentaryexpressionofastonishment,notunmixedwithsomeconfusion,appearedinthefaceofSirMulberryashereadthename;buthesubdueditinan instant, and tossing the card toLordVerisopht,who satopposite, drewa

toothpickfromaglassbeforehim,andveryleisurelyappliedittohismouth.

'Yournameandaddress?'saidNicholas,turningpalerashispassionkindled.

'Ishallgiveyouneither,'repliedSirMulberry.

'Ifthereisagentlemaninthisparty,'saidNicholas,lookingroundandscarcelyabletomakehiswhitelipsformthewords,'hewillacquaintmewiththenameandresidenceofthisman.'

Therewasadeadsilence.

'Iamthebrotheroftheyoungladywhohasbeenthesubjectofconversationhere,' saidNicholas. 'Idenounce thispersonasa liar, and impeachhimasacoward. If he has a friend here, hewill save him the disgrace of the paltryattempt to conceal his nameand utterly useless onefor Iwill find it out, norleavehimuntilIhave.'

SirMulberrylookedathimcontemptuously,and,addressinghiscompanions,said

'Letthefellowtalk,Ihavenothingserioustosaytoboysofhisstation;andhisprettysistershallsavehimabrokenhead,ifhetalkstillmidnight.'

'You are a base and spiritless scoundrel!' said Nicholas, 'and shall beproclaimedsototheworld.IWILLknowyou;Iwillfollowyouhomeifyouwalkthestreetstillmorning.'

SirMulberry'shandinvoluntarilycloseduponthedecanter,andheseemedforaninstantabouttolaunchitattheheadofhischallenger.Butheonlyfilledhisglass,andlaughedinderision.

Nicholassathimselfdown,directlyoppositetotheparty,and,summoningthewaiter,paidhisbill.

'Doyouknowthatperson'sname?'heinquiredofthemaninanaudiblevoice;pointingoutSirMulberryasheputthequestion.

Sir Mulberry laughed again, and the two voices which had always spokentogether,echoedthelaugh;butratherfeebly.

'That gentleman, sir?' replied thewaiter, who, no doubt, knew his cue, andansweredwithjustaslittlerespect,andjustasmuchimpertinenceashecouldsafelyshow:'no,sir,Idonot,sir.'

'Here, you sir,' cried Sir Mulberry, as the man was retiring; 'do you knowTHATperson'sname?'

'Name,sir?No,sir.'

'Thenyou'llfinditthere,'saidSirMulberry,throwingNicholas'scardtowardshim; 'and when you have made yourself master of it, put that piece ofpasteboardinthefiredoyouhearme?'

The man grinned, and, looking doubtfully at Nicholas, compromised thematterbystickingthecardinthechimneyglass.Havingdonethis,heretired.

Nicholas folded his arms, and biting his lip, sat perfectly quiet; sufficientlyexpressingbyhismanner,however,afirmdeterminationtocarryhisthreatoffollowingSirMulberryhome,intosteadyexecution.

It was evident from the tone in which the younger member of the partyappeared to remonstrate with his friend, that he objected to this course ofproceeding, and urged him to comply with the request which Nicholas hadmade. SirMulberry, however, who was not quite sober, and who was in asullenanddoggedstateofobstinacy,soonsilencedtherepresentationsofhisweakyoungfriend,andfurtherseemedasiftosavehimselffromarepetitionofthemtoinsistonbeingleftalone.Howeverthismighthavebeen,theyounggentlemanand the twowhohadalways spoken together, actually rose togoafter a short interval, and presently retired, leaving their friend alone withNicholas.

Itwillbeveryreadilysupposed that toone in theconditionofNicholas, theminutesappeared tomovewith leadenwings indeed,and that theirprogressdidnotseemthemorerapidfromthemonotonoustickingofaFrenchclock,ortheshrillsoundofitslittlebellwhichtoldthequarters.Buttherehesat;andinhisoldseatontheoppositesideoftheroomreclinedSirMulberryHawk,withhislegsuponthecushion,andhishandkerchiefthrownnegligentlyoverhis knees: finishing his magnum of claret with the utmost coolness andindifference.

ThustheyremainedinperfectsilenceforupwardsofanhourNicholaswouldhavethoughtforthreehoursatleast,butthatthelittlebellhadonlygonefourtimes.Twiceorthricehelookedangrilyandimpatientlyround;buttherewasSirMulberry in the same attitude, putting his glass to his lips from time totime, and lookingvacantly at thewall, as if hewerewholly ignorant of thepresenceofanylivingperson.

Atlengthheyawned,stretchedhimself,androse;walkedcoollytotheglass,and having surveyed himself therein, turned round and honoured Nicholaswithalongandcontemptuousstare.Nicholasstaredagainwithrightgoodwill;Sir Mulberry shrugged his shoulders, smiled slightly, rang the bell, andorderedthewaitertohelphimonwithhisgreatcoat.

Themandidso,andheldthedooropen.

'Don'twait,'saidSirMulberry;andtheywerealoneagain.

SirMulberrytookseveralturnsupanddowntheroom,whistlingcarelesslyallthe time;stoppedtofinish the lastglassofclaretwhichhehadpouredoutafewminutesbefore,walkedagain,putonhishat,adjusteditbytheglass,drewonhisgloves,and,atlast,walkedslowlyout.Nicholas,whohadbeenfumingandchafinguntilhewasnearlywild,dartedfromhisseat,andfollowedhim:soclosely,thatbeforethedoorhadswunguponitshingesafterSirMulberry'spassingout,theystoodsidebysideinthestreettogether.

There was a private cabriolet in waiting; the groom opened the apron, andjumpedouttothehorse'shead.

'Willyoumakeyourselfknowntome?'askedNicholasinasuppressedvoice.

'No,'repliedtheotherfiercely,andconfirmingtherefusalwithanoath.'No.'

'If you trust to your horse's speed, you will find yourself mistaken,' saidNicholas. 'I will accompany you. By Heaven I will, if I hang on to thefootboard.'

'Youshallbehorsewhippedifyoudo,'returnedSirMulberry.

'Youareavillain,'saidNicholas.

'YouareanerrandboyforaughtIknow,'saidSirMulberryHawk.

'Iamthesonofacountrygentleman,'returnedNicholas, 'yourequalinbirthandeducation,andyoursuperiorItrustineverythingbesides.Itellyouagain,MissNicklebyismysister.Willyouorwillyounotanswerforyourunmanlyandbrutalconduct?'

'Toaproperchampionyes.Toyouno,'returnedSirMulberry,takingthereinsinhishand.'Standoutoftheway,dog.William,letgoherhead.'

'You had better not,' cried Nicholas, springing on the step as Sir Mulberryjumped in, and catching at the reins. 'He has no command over the horse,mind.Youshallnotgoyoushallnot,Isweartillyouhavetoldmewhoyouare.'

The groom hesitated, for the mare, who was a highspirited animal andthoroughbred,plungedsoviolentlythathecouldscarcelyholdher.

'Leavego,Itellyou!'thunderedhismaster.

Themanobeyed.Theanimalrearedandplungedasthoughitwoulddashthecarriageintoathousandpieces,butNicholas,blindtoallsenseofdanger,andconsciousofnothingbuthisfury,stillmaintainedhisplaceandhisholduponthereins.

'Willyouunclaspyourhand?'

'Willyoutellmewhoyouare?'

'No!'

'No!'

In less time than the quickest tongue could tell it, these words wereexchanged,andSirMulberryshorteninghiswhip,applied it furiously to theheadandshouldersofNicholas.Itwasbrokeninthestruggle;Nicholasgainedtheheavyhandle,andwithitlaidopenonesideofhisantagonist'sfacefromtheeyetothelip.Hesawthegash;knewthatthemarehaddartedoffatawildmad gallop; a hundred lights danced in his eyes, and he felt himself flungviolentlyupontheground.

Hewasgiddyandsick,butstaggeredtohisfeetdirectly,rousedbythe loudshouts of the men who were tearing up the street, and screaming to thoseahead to clear the way. He was conscious of a torrent of people rushingquickly bylooking up, could discern the cabriolet whirled along thefootpavement with frightful rapiditythen heard a loud cry, the smashing ofsomeheavybody,andthebreakingofglassandthenthecrowdclosedininthedistance,andhecouldseeorhearnomore.

Thegeneralattentionhadbeenentirelydirectedfromhimselftothepersoninthe carriage, and he was quite alone. Rightly judging that under suchcircumstances itwouldbemadness to follow,he turneddownabyestreet insearch of the nearest coachstand, finding after aminute or two that hewasreelinglikeadrunkenman,andawareforthefirsttimeofastreamofbloodthatwastricklingdownhisfaceandbreast.

CHAPTER33

InwhichMrRalphNicklebyisrelieved,byaveryexpeditiousProcess,fromallCommercewithhisRelations

Smike andNewmanNoggs,who in his impatience had returned home longbefore the timeagreedupon,satbefore the fire, listeninganxiously toeveryfootsteponthestairs,andtheslightestsoundthatstirredwithinthehouse,fortheapproachofNicholas.Timehadwornon,anditwasgrowinglate.Hehadpromised to be back in an hour; and his prolonged absence began to exciteconsiderable alarm in theminds of both, aswas abundantly testified by theblanklookstheycastuponeachotherateverynewdisappointment.

Atlengthacoachwasheardtostop,andNewmanranouttolightNicholasupthe stairs.Beholding him in the trim described at the conclusion of the lastchapter,hestoodaghastinwonderandconsternation.

'Don'tbealarmed,'saidNicholas,hurryinghimbackintotheroom. 'Thereisnoharmdone,beyondwhatabasinofwatercanrepair.'

'Noharm!'criedNewman,passinghishandshastilyoverthebackandarmsofNicholas,asiftoassurehimselfthathehadbrokennobones.'Whathaveyoubeendoing?'

'I knowall,' interruptedNicholas; 'I haveheard apart, andguessed the rest.ButbeforeIremoveonejotofthesestains,Imusthearthewholefromyou.YouseeIamcollected.Myresolution is taken.Now,mygoodfriend,speakout; for the time for any palliation or concealment is past, and nothingwillavailRalphNicklebynow.'

'Your dress is torn in several places; youwalk lame, and I am sure you aresufferingpain,'saidNewman.'Letmeseetoyourhurtsfirst.'

'Ihavenohurtstoseeto,beyondalittlesorenessandstiffnessthatwillsoonpass off,' said Nicholas, seating himself with some difficulty. 'But if I hadfracturedevery limb,and stillpreservedmysenses,you shouldnotbandageonetillyouhadtoldmewhatIhavetherighttoknow.Come,'saidNicholas,givinghishand toNoggs. 'Youhada sisterofyourown,you toldmeonce,who died before you fell into misfortune. Now think of her, and tell me,Newman.'

'Yes,Iwill,Iwill,'saidNoggs.'I'lltellyouthewholetruth.'

Newman did so. Nicholas nodded his head from time to time, as itcorroboratedtheparticularshehadalreadygleaned;buthefixedhiseyesuponthefire,anddidnotlookroundonce.

His recitalended,Newman insisteduponhisyoungfriend's strippingoffhiscoat and allowingwhatever injuries he had received to be properly tended.Nicholas,after someopposition,at lengthconsented,and,whilesomeprettysevere bruises on his arms and shoulders were being rubbed with oil andvinegar, and various other efficacious remedies which Newman borrowedfromthedifferentlodgers,relatedinwhatmannertheyhadbeenreceived.Therecitalmade a strong impression on thewarm imagination ofNewman; forwhenNicholascametotheviolentpartofthequarrel,herubbedsohard,astooccasion him the most exquisite pain, which he would not have exhibited,however,fortheworld,itbeingperfectlyclearthat,forthemoment,Newmanwas operating on Sir Mulberry Hawk, and had quite lost sight of his realpatient.

This martyrdom over, Nicholas arranged with Newman that while he wasotherwise occupied next morning, arrangements should be made for hismother's immediatelyquittingherpresentresidence,andalsofordispatchingMissLaCreevytobreaktheintelligencetoher.Hethenwrappedhimself inSmike'sgreatcoat,andrepairedtotheinnwheretheyweretopassthenight,andwhere(afterwritingafewlinestoRalph,thedeliveryofwhichwastobeintrustedtoNewmannextday),heendeavouredtoobtainthereposeofwhichhestoodsomuchinneed.

Drunkenmen,theysay,mayrolldownprecipices,andbequiteunconsciousofany serious personal inconvenience when their reason returns. The remarkmaypossiblyapply to injuries received inotherkindsofviolentexcitement:certainitis,thatalthoughNicholasexperiencedsomepainonfirstawakeningnextmorning,hesprungoutofbedastheclockstruckseven,withverylittledifficulty,andwassoonasmuchonthealertasifnothinghadoccurred.

MerelylookingintoSmike'sroom,andtellinghimthatNewmanNoggswouldcall for him very shortly, Nicholas descended into the street, and calling ahackney coach, bade the man drive to Mrs Wititterly's, according to thedirectionwhichNewmanhadgivenhimonthepreviousnight.

ItwantedaquartertoeightwhentheyreachedCadoganPlace.Nicholasbegantofearthatnoonemightbestirringatthatearlyhour,whenhewasrelievedbythe sight of a female servant, employed in cleaning the doorsteps. By thisfunctionary he was referred to the doubtful page, who appeared withdishevelledhairandaverywarmandglossyface,asofapagewhohadjustgotoutofbed.

BythisyounggentlemanhewasinformedthatMissNicklebywasthentakinghermorning's walk in the gardens before the house. On the question beingpropoundedwhetherhecouldgoandfindher,thepagedespondedandthoughtnot;butbeingstimulatedwithashilling,thepagegrewsanguineandthoughthecould.

'Say toMissNickleby thatherbrother ishere,and ingreathaste toseeher,'saidNicholas.

The plated buttons disappeared with an alacrity most unusual to them, andNicholaspacedtheroominastateoffeverishagitationwhichmadethedelayevenofaminuteinsupportable.Hesoonheardalightfootstepwhichhewellknew,andbeforehecouldadvance tomeether,Katehadfallenonhisneckandburstintotears.

'Mydarlinggirl,'saidNicholasasheembracedher.'Howpaleyouare!'

'Ihavebeensounhappyhere,dearbrother,'sobbedpoorKate; 'sovery,very

miserable. Do not leaveme here, dear Nicholas, or I shall die of a brokenheart.'

'I will leave you nowhere,' answered Nicholas'never again, Kate,' he cried,movedinspiteofhimselfashefoldedhertohisheart.'TellmethatIactedforthebest.TellmethatwepartedbecauseIfearedtobringmisfortuneonyourhead;thatitwasatrialtomenolessthantoyourself,andthatifIdidwrongitwasinignoranceoftheworldandunknowingly.'

'Why should I tell you what we know so well?' returned Kate soothingly.'NicholasdearNicholashowcanyougivewaythus?'

'It issuchbitterreproachtometoknowwhatyouhaveundergone,' returnedherbrother;'toseeyousomuchaltered,andyetsokindandpatientGod!'criedNicholas, clenching his fist and suddenly changing his tone andmanner, 'itsetsmywholebloodonfireagain.Youmustleaveherewithmedirectly;youshouldnothavesleptherelastnight,butthatIknewallthistoolate.TowhomcanIspeak,beforewedriveaway?'

This question was most opportunely put, for at that instant Mr Wititterlywalkedin,andtohimKateintroducedherbrother,whoatonceannouncedhispurpose,andtheimpossibilityofdeferringit.

'Thequarter'snotice,'saidMrWititterly,withthegravityofamanontherightside,'isnotyethalfexpired.Therefore'

'Therefore,'interposedNicholas,'thequarter'ssalarymustbelost,sir.Youwillexcusethisextremehaste,butcircumstancesrequirethatIshouldimmediatelyremove my sister, and I have not a moment's time to lose. Whatever shebroughthereIwillsendfor,ifyouwillallowme,inthecourseoftheday.'

MrWititterlybowed,butofferednooppositiontoKate'simmediatedeparture;with which, indeed, he was rather gratified than otherwise, Sir TumleySnuffim having given it as his opinion, that she rather disagreed withMrsWititterly'sconstitution.

'Withregardtothetrifleofsalarythatisdue,'saidMrWititterly,'Iwill'herehewasinterruptedbyaviolentfitofcoughing'IwilloweittoMissNickleby.'

MrWititterly,itshouldbeobserved,wasaccustomedtoowesmallaccounts,andtoleavethemowing.Allmenhavesomelittlepleasantwayoftheirown;andthiswasMrWititterly's.

'Ifyouplease,'saidNicholas.Andoncemoreofferingahurriedapologyforsosuddenadeparture,hehurriedKateintothevehicle,andbadethemandrivewithallspeedintothecity.

Tothecitytheywentaccordingly,withallthespeedthehackneycoachcouldmake;andasthehorseshappenedtoliveatWhitechapelandtobeinthehabitof taking their breakfast there,when theybreakfasted at all, theyperformedthejourneywithgreaterexpeditionthancouldreasonablyhavebeenexpected.

Nicholas sentKate upstairs a fewminutes before him, that his unlookedforappearancemight not alarmhismother, andwhen thewayhadbeenpaved,presentedhimselfwithmuchdutyandaffection.Newmanhadnotbeen idle,fortherewasalittlecartatthedoor,andtheeffectswerehurryingoutalready.

Now,MrsNicklebywasnotthesortofpersontobetoldanythinginahurry,orrathertocomprehendanythingofpeculiardelicacyorimportanceonashortnotice.Wherefore,althoughthegoodladyhadbeensubjectedtoafullhour'spreparation by littleMiss LaCreevy, andwas now addressed inmost lucidterms both by Nicholas and his sister, she was in a state of singularbewildermentandconfusion,andcouldbynomeansbemadetocomprehendthenecessityofsuchhurriedproceedings.

'Whydon'tyouaskyouruncle,mydearNicholas,whathecanpossiblymeanbyit?'saidMrsNickleby.

'Mydearmother,'returnedNicholas,'thetimefortalkinghasgoneby.Thereisbutonesteptotake,andthatistocasthimoffwiththescornandindignationhe deserves. Your own honour and good name demand that, after thediscoveryofhisvileproceedings,youshouldnotbebeholdentohimonehour,evenfortheshelterofthesebarewalls.'

'Tobesure,'saidMrsNickleby,cryingbitterly, 'heisabrute,amonster;andthe walls are very bare, and want painting too, and I have had this ceilingwhitewashed at the expense of eighteenpence, which is a very distressingthing, considering that it is somuch gone into your uncle's pocket. I nevercouldhavebelieveditnever.'

'NorI,noranybodyelse,'saidNicholas.

'Lordblessmylife!'exclaimedMrsNickleby.'TothinkthatthatSirMulberryHawk should be such an abandoned wretch asMiss La Creevy says he is,Nicholas,mydear;whenIwascongratulatingmyselfeverydayonhisbeinganadmirerofourdearKate's,and thinkingwhata thing itwouldbe for thefamilyifhewastobecomeconnectedwithus,andusehisinteresttogetyousomeprofitablegovernmentplace.Thereareverygoodplacestobegotaboutthecourt,Iknow;forafriendofours(MissCropley,atExeter,mydearKate,yourecollect),hehadone,andIknowthatitwasthechiefpartofhisdutytowearsilkstockings,andabagwiglikeablackwatchpocket;andtothinkthatitshouldcometothisafteralloh,dear,dear,it'senoughtokillone,thatitis!'Withwhichexpressionsofsorrow,MrsNicklebygavefreshventtohergrief,

andweptpiteously.

As Nicholas and his sister were by this time compelled to superintend theremovalofthefewarticlesoffurniture,MissLaCreevydevotedherselftotheconsolation of thematron, and observedwith great kindness ofmanner thatshemustreallymakeaneffort,andcheerup.

'OhIdaresay,MissLaCreevy,'returnedMrsNickleby,withapetulancenotunnaturalinherunhappycircumstances,'it'sveryeasytosaycheerup,butifyou had as many occasions to cheer up as I have hadand there,' said MrsNickleby, stoppingshort. 'ThinkofMrPykeandMrPluck, twoof themostperfectgentlementhateverlived,whatamItoosaytothemwhatcanIsaytothem?Why, if Iwas to say to them, "I'm toldyour friendSirMulberry is abasewretch,"they'dlaughatme.'

'Theywill laugh nomore at us, I take it,' saidNicholas, advancing. 'Come,mother, thereisacoachat thedoor,anduntilMonday,atallevents,wewillreturntoouroldquarters.'

'Where everything is ready, and a hearty welcome into the bargain,' addedMissLaCreevy.'Now,letmegowithyoudownstairs.'

ButMrs Nickleby was not to be so easily moved, for first she insisted ongoingupstairstoseethatnothinghadbeenleft,andthenongoingdownstairstoseethateverythinghadbeentakenaway;andwhenshewasgettingintothecoachshehadavisionofa forgottencoffeepoton thebackkitchenhob,andaftershewasshut in,adismalrecollectionofagreenumbrellabehindsomeunknowndoor.AtlastNicholas,inaconditionofabsolutedespair,orderedthecoachmantodriveaway,andintheunexpectedjerkofasuddenstarting,MrsNickleby lost a shilling among the straw, which fortunately confined herattentiontothecoachuntilitwastoolatetorememberanythingelse.

Having seen everything safely out, discharged the servant, and locked thedoor,NicholasjumpedintoacabrioletanddrovetoabyeplacenearGoldenSquarewherehehadappointedtomeetNoggs;andsoquicklyhadeverythingbeen done, that it was barely halfpast nine when he reached the place ofmeeting.

'HereistheletterforRalph,'saidNicholas,'andherethekey.Whenyoucometomethisevening,notawordoflastnight.Illnewstravelsfast,andtheywillknowitsoonenough.Haveyouheardifhewasmuchhurt?'

Newmanshookhishead.

'Iwillascertainthatmyselfwithoutlossoftime,'saidNicholas.

'Youhadbettertakesomerest,'returnedNewman.'Youarefeveredandill.'

Nicholaswavedhishandcarelessly,andconcealingtheindispositionhereallyfelt,nowthattheexcitementwhichhadsustainedhimwasover,tookahurriedfarewellofNewmanNoggs,andlefthim.

Newmanwasnotthreeminutes'walkfromGoldenSquare,butinthecourseofthatthreeminuteshetooktheletteroutofhishatandputitinagaintwentytimes at least. First the front, then the back, then the sides, then thesuperscription, then theseal,wereobjectsofNewman'sadmiration.Thenheheld itatarm's lengthas if to take in thewholeatonedelicioussurvey,andthenherubbedhishandsinaperfectecstasywithhiscommission.

Hereachedtheoffice,hunghishatonitsaccustomedpeg,laidtheletterandkeyuponthedesk,andwaitedimpatientlyuntilRalphNicklebyshouldappear.After a fewminutes, thewellknowncreakingof his bootswasheardon thestairs,andthenthebellrung.

'Hasthepostcomein?'

'No.'

'Anyotherletters?'

'One.'Newmaneyedhimclosely,andlaiditonthedesk.

'What'sthis?'askedRalph,takingupthekey.

'Leftwiththeletter;aboybroughtthemquarterofanhourago,orless.'

Ralphglancedatthedirection,openedtheletter,andreadasfollows:

'Youareknowntomenow.TherearenoreproachesIcouldheapuponyourhead which would carry with them one thousandth part of the grovellingshamethatthisassurancewillawakeneveninyourbreast.

'Yourbrother'swidowandherorphanchildspurntheshelterofyourroof,andshunyouwithdisgustandloathing.Yourkindredrenounceyou,fortheyknownoshamebutthetiesofbloodwhichbindtheminnamewithyou.

'Youareanoldman,andIleaveyoutothegrave.Mayeveryrecollectionofyourlifeclingtoyourfalseheart,andcasttheirdarknessonyourdeathbed.'

RalphNicklebyread this letter twice,and frowningheavily, fell intoa fitofmusing;thepaperflutteredfromhishandanddroppeduponthefloor,butheclaspedhisfingers,asifhehelditstill.

Suddenly, he started from his seat, and thrusting it all crumpled into hispocket, turned furiously to Newman Noggs, as though to ask him why helingered.ButNewmanstoodunmoved,withhisbacktowardshim,followingup, with the worn and blackened stump of an old pen, some figures in an

Interesttable which was pasted against the wall, and apparently quiteabstractedfromeveryotherobject.

CHAPTER34

WhereinMrRalphNicklebyisvisitedbyPersonswithwhomtheReaderhasbeenalreadymadeacquainted

'Whatademnitionlongtimeyouhavekeptmeringingatthisconfoundedoldcrackedteakettleofabell,everytinkleofwhichisenoughtothrowastrongman into blue convulsions, upon my life and soul, oh demmit,'said MrMantalini to Newman Noggs, scraping his boots, as he spoke, on RalphNickleby'sscraper.

'Ididn'thearthebellmorethanonce,'repliedNewman.

'Thenyouaremostimmenselyandoutrigeouslydeaf,'saidMrMantalini, 'asdeafasademnitionpost.'

MrMantalinihadgotbythistimeintothepassage,andwasmakinghiswaytothedoorofRalph'sofficewithverylittleceremony,whenNewmaninterposedhisbody;andhintingthatMrNicklebywasunwillingtobedisturbed,inquiredwhethertheclient'sbusinesswasofapressingnature.

'Itismostdemneblyparticular,'saidMrMantalini.'Itistomeltsomescrapsofdirtypaperintobright,shining,chinking,tinkling,demdmintsauce.'

Newmanutteredasignificantgrunt,andtakingMrMantalini'sprofferedcard,limpedwithitintohismaster'soffice.Ashethrusthisheadinatthedoor,hesaw thatRalphhad resumed the thoughtfulposture intowhichhehad fallenafterperusinghisnephew'sletter,andthatheseemedtohavebeenreadingitagain, as he once more held it open in his hand. The glance was butmomentary, for Ralph, being disturbed, turned to demand the cause of theinterruption.

AsNewmanstatedit,thecausehimselfswaggeredintotheroom,andgraspingRalph'shornyhandwithuncommonaffection,vowedthathehadneverseenhimlookingsowellinallhislife.

'There is quite a bloom upon your demd countenance,' said Mr Mantalini,seatinghimselfunbidden,andarranginghishairandwhiskers.'Youlookquitejuvenileandjolly,demmit!'

'Wearealone,'returnedRalph,tartly.'Whatdoyouwantwithme?'

'Good!' criedMrMantalini, displayinghis teeth. 'Whatdid Iwant!Yes.Ha,ha!Verygood.WHATdidIwant.Ha,ha.Ohdem!'

'WhatDOyouwant,man?'demandedRalph,sternly.

'Demnitiondiscount,'returnedMrMantalini,withagrin,andshakinghisheadwaggishly.

'Moneyisscarce,'saidRalph.

'Demdscarce,orIshouldn'twantit,'interruptedMrMantalini.

'Thetimesarebad,andonescarcelyknowswhomtotrust,'continuedRalph.'Idon'twanttodobusinessjustnow,infactIwouldrathernot;butasyouareafriendhowmanybillshaveyouthere?'

'Two,'returnedMrMantalini.

'Whatisthegrossamount?'

'Demdtriflingfiveandseventy.'

'Andthedates?'

'Twomonths,andfour.'

'I'll do them for youmind, for YOU; I wouldn't for many peopleforfiveandtwentypounds,'saidRalph,deliberately.

'Ohdemmit!'criedMrMantalini,whosefacelengthenedconsiderablyat thishandsomeproposal.

'Why,thatleavesyoufifty,'retortedRalph.'Whatwouldyouhave?Letmeseethenames.'

'Youaresodemdhard,Nickleby,'remonstratedMrMantalini.

'Letmeseethenames,'repliedRalph,impatientlyextendinghishandforthebills.'Well!Theyarenotsure,buttheyaresafeenough.Doyouconsenttotheterms,andwillyoutakethemoney?Idon'twantyoutodoso.Iwouldratheryoudidn't.'

'Demmit,Nickleby,can'tyou'beganMrMantalini.

'No,' repliedRalph, interruptinghim. 'Ican't.Willyou take themoneydown,mind;nodelay,nogoingintothecityandpretendingtonegotiatewithsomeotherpartywhohasnoexistence,andneverhad.Isitabargain,orisitnot?'

Ralph pushed some papers from him as he spoke, and carelessly rattled hiscashbox, as though by mere accident. The sound was too much for Mr

Mantalini.Heclosed thebargaindirectly it reachedhis ears, andRalph toldthemoneyoutuponthetable.

He had scarcely done so, andMrMantalini had not yet gathered it all up,when a ring was heard at the bell, and immediately afterwards Newmanushered in no less a person thanMadameMantalini, at sight of whomMrMantalini evinced considerable discomposure, and swept the cash into hispocketwithremarkablealacrity.

'Oh,youAREhere,'saidMadameMantalini,tossingherhead.

'Yes,mylifeandsoul,Iam,'repliedherhusband,droppingonhisknees,andpouncingwith kittenlike playfulness upon a stray sovereign. 'I am here,mysoul'sdelight,uponTomTiddler'sground,pickingupthedemnitiongoldandsilver.'

'Iamashamedofyou,'saidMadameMantalini,withmuchindignation.

'AshamedofME,myjoy?Itknowsitistalkingdemdcharmingsweetness,butnaughty fibs,' returnedMrMantalini. 'It knows it is not ashamedof its ownpopolorumtibby.'

Whateverwere thecircumstanceswhichhad led tosucha result, itcertainlyappeared as though the popolorum tibby had rather miscalculated, for thenonce, the extent of his lady's affection. Madame Mantalini only lookedscornfulinreply;and,turningtoRalph,beggedhimtoexcuseherintrusion.

'Which is entirely attributable,' said Madame, 'to the gross misconduct andmostimproperbehaviourofMrMantalini.'

'Ofme,myessentialjuiceofpineapple!'

'Of you,' returned hiswife. 'But I will not allow it. I will not submit to beruinedbytheextravaganceandprofligacyofanyman.IcallMrNicklebytowitnessthecourseIintendtopursuewithyou.'

'Praydon'tcallmetowitnessanything,ma'am,'saidRalph.'Settleitbetweenyourselves,settleitbetweenyourselves.'

'No,butImustbegyouasafavour,'saidMadameMantalini,'tohearmegivehim notice of what it is my fixed intention to domy fixed intention, sir,'repeatedMadameMantalini,dartinganangrylookatherhusband.

'Will she call me "Sir"?' cried Mantalini. 'Me who dote upon her with thedemdestardour!She,whocoilsherfascinationsroundmelikeapureangelicrattlesnake!Itwillbeallupwithmyfeelings;shewillthrowmeintoademdstate.'

'Don't talk of feelings, sir,' rejoinedMadameMantalini, seating herself, andturningherbackuponhim.'Youdon'tconsidermine.'

'Idonotconsideryours,mysoul!'exclaimedMrMantalini.

'No,'repliedhiswife.

And notwithstanding various blandishments on the part of Mr Mantalini,Madame Mantalini still said no, and said it too with such determined andresoluteilltemper,thatMrMantaliniwasclearlytakenaback.

'His extravagance,MrNickleby,' saidMadameMantalini, addressingherselfto Ralph, who leant against his easychair with his hands behind him, andregarded the amiable couple with a smile of the supremest and mostunmitigatedcontempt,'hisextravaganceisbeyondallbounds.'

'Ishouldscarcelyhavesupposedit,'answeredRalph,sarcastically.

'Iassureyou,MrNickleby,however,thatitis,'returnedMadameMantalini.'Itmakes me miserable! I am under constant apprehensions, and in constantdifficulty.Andeventhis,'saidMadameMantalini,wipinghereyes,'isnottheworst. He took some papers of value out ofmy desk thismorningwithoutaskingmypermission.'

MrMantalinigroanedslightly,andbuttonedhistrouserspocket.

'I am obliged,' continuedMadameMantalini, 'since our latemisfortunes, topayMissKnagagreatdealofmoneyforhavinghernameinthebusiness,andIreallycannotaffordtoencouragehiminallhiswastefulness.AsIhavenodoubt that he came straight here,MrNickleby, to convert the papers I havespokenof,intomoney,andasyouhaveassistedusveryoftenbefore,andareverymuchconnectedwithusinthiskindofmatters,Iwishyoutoknowthedeterminationatwhichhisconducthascompelledmetoarrive.'

MrMantalinigroanedoncemorefrombehindhiswife'sbonnet,andfittingasovereign into one of his eyes, winked with the other at Ralph. Havingachieved thisperformancewithgreatdexterity,hewhipped thecoin intohispocket,andgroanedagainwithincreasedpenitence.

'Ihavemadeupmymind,' saidMadameMantalini, as tokensof impatiencemanifestedthemselvesinRalph'scountenance,'toallowancehim.'

'Todothat,myjoy?'inquiredMrMantalini,whodidnotseemtohavecaughtthewords.

'To put him,' said Madame Mantalini, looking at Ralph, and prudentlyabstaining from the slightest glance at her husband, lest his many gracesshould induce her to falter in her resolution, 'to put him upon a fixed

allowance;andIsaythatifhehasahundredandtwentypoundsayearforhisclothesandpocketmoney,hemayconsiderhimselfaveryfortunateman.'

MrMantaliniwaited,withmuchdecorum,toheartheamountoftheproposedstipend,butwhenitreachedhisears,hecasthishatandcaneuponthefloor,anddrawingouthispockethandkerchief,gaveventtohisfeelingsinadismalmoan.

'Demnition!' criedMrMantalini, suddenly skipping out of his chair, and assuddenlyskippingintoitagain,tothegreatdiscomposureofhislady'snerves.'Butno.Itisademdhorriddream.Itisnotreality.No!'

Comforting himself with this assurance, Mr Mantalini closed his eyes andwaitedpatientlytillsuchtimeasheshouldwakeup.

'Averyjudiciousarrangement,'observedRalphwithasneer,'ifyourhusbandwillkeepwithinit,ma'amasnodoubthewill.'

'Demmit!'exclaimedMrMantalini,openinghiseyesat thesoundofRalph'svoice,'itisahorridreality.Sheissittingtherebeforeme.Thereisthegracefuloutline of her form; it cannot be mistakenthere is nothing like it. The twocountesseshadnooutlinesatall,andthedowager'swasademdoutline.WhyisshesoexcruciatinglybeautifulthatIcannotbeangrywithher,evennow?'

'You have brought it upon yourself,Alfred,' returnedMadameMantalinistillreproachfully,butinasoftenedtone.

'Iamademdvillain!'criedMrMantalini,smitinghimselfonthehead.'IwillfillmypocketswithchangeforasovereigninhalfpenceanddrownmyselfintheThames;butIwillnotbeangrywithher,eventhen,forIwillputanoteinthe twopennypostas Igoalong, to tellherwhere thebody is.Shewillbealovelywidow. I shall be a body. Some handsomewomenwill cry; shewilllaughdemnebly.'

'Alfred, you cruel, cruel creature,' said Madame Mantalini, sobbing at thedreadfulpicture.

'Shecallsmecruelmemewhoforhersakewillbecomeademd,damp,moist,unpleasantbody!'exclaimedMrMantalini.

'Youknowitalmostbreaksmyheart,even tohearyou talkofsucha thing,'repliedMadameMantalini.

'Can I live tobemistrusted?' criedherhusband. 'Have I cutmyheart intoademdextraordinarynumberoflittlepieces,andgiventhemallaway,oneafteranother,tothesamelittleengrossingdemnitioncaptivater,andcanIlivetobesuspectedbyher?Demmit,noIcan't.'

'AskMr Nickleby whether the sum I have mentioned is not a proper one,'reasonedMadameMantalini.

'I don't want any sum,' replied her disconsolate husband; 'I shall require nodemdallowance.Iwillbeabody.'

OnthisrepetitionofMrMantalini'sfatalthreat,MadameMantaliniwrungherhands, and implored the interference of Ralph Nickleby; and after a greatquantityoftearsandtalking,andseveralattemptsonthepartofMrMantalinito reach the door, preparatory to straightway committing violence uponhimself,thatgentlemanwasprevailedupon,withdifficulty,topromisethathewouldn'tbeabody.Thisgreatpoint attained,MadameMantalini argued thequestionoftheallowance,andMrMantalinididthesame,takingoccasiontoshow that he could livewith uncommon satisfaction upon bread andwater,andgocladinrags,butthathecouldnotsupportexistencewiththeadditionalburdenofbeingmistrustedbytheobjectofhismostdevotedanddisinterestedaffection. This brought fresh tears into Madame Mantalini's eyes, whichhavingjustbeguntoopentosomefewofthedemeritsofMrMantalini,wereonlyopenaverylittleway,andcouldbeeasilyclosedagain.Theresultwas,that without quite giving up the allowance question, Madame Mantalini,postponed its further consideration; andRalph saw, clearly enough, thatMrMantalini had gained a fresh lease of his easy life, and that, for some timelongeratallevents,hisdegradationanddownfallwerepostponed.

'Butitwillcomesoonenough,'thoughtRalph;'alllovebah!thatIshouldusethecantofboysandgirlsisfleetingenough;thoughthatwhichhasitssolerootintheadmirationofawhiskeredfacelikethatofyonderbaboon,perhapslaststhe longest, as it originates in the greater blindness and is fed by vanity.Meantimethefoolsbringgristtomymill,soletthemliveouttheirday,andthelongeritis,thebetter.'

These agreeable reflections occurred to Ralph Nickleby, as sundry smallcaresses and endearments, supposed to be unseen,were exchanged betweentheobjectsofhisthoughts.

'If you have nothing more to say, my dear, toMr Nickleby,' saidMadameMantalini,'wewilltakeourleaves.Iamsurewehavedetainedhimmuchtoolongalready.'

MrMantalini answered, in the first instance, by tappingMadameMantaliniseveraltimesonthenose,andthen,byremarkinginwordsthathehadnothingmoretosay.

'Demmit!Ihave,though,'headdedalmostimmediately,drawingRalphintoacorner. 'Here's an affair about your friend Sir Mulberry. Such a demdextraordinaryoutofthewaykindofthingasneverwaseh?'

'Whatdoyoumean?'askedRalph.

'Don'tyouknow,demmit?'askedMrMantalini.

'I see by the paper that he was thrown from his cabriolet last night, andseverely injured, and that his life is in some danger,' answered Ralph withgreat composure; 'but I see nothing extraordinary in thataccidents are notmiraculousevents,whenmenlivehard,anddriveafterdinner.'

'Whew!'criedMrMantaliniinalongshrillwhistle.'Thendon'tyouknowhowitwas?'

'Not unless it was as I have just supposed,' replied Ralph, shrugging hisshoulderscarelessly,asiftogivehisquestionertounderstandthathehadnocuriosityuponthesubject.

'Demmit,youamazeme,'criedMantalini.

Ralph shruggedhis shoulders again, as if itwerenogreat feat toamazeMrMantalini,andcastawistfulglanceatthefaceofNewmanNoggs,whichhadseveraltimesappearedbehindacoupleofpanesofglassintheroomdoor;itbeing a part of Newman's duty, when unimportant people called, to makevariousfeintsofsupposingthatthebellhadrungforhimtoshowthemout:bywayofagentlehinttosuchvisitorsthatitwastimetogo.

'Don'tyouknow,'saidMrMantalini,takingRalphbythebutton,'thatitwasn'tanaccidentatall,butademd,furious,manslaughteringattackmadeuponhimbyyournephew?'

'What!'snarledRalph,clenchinghisfistsandturningalividwhite.

'Demmit,Nickleby,you'reasgreatatigerasheis,'saidMantalini,alarmedatthesedemonstrations.

'Goon,' criedRalph. 'Tellmewhatyoumean.What is this story?Who toldyou?Speak,'growledRalph.'Doyouhearme?'

''Gad, Nickleby,' said Mr Mantalini, retreating towards his wife, 'what ademneblefierceoldevilgeniusyouare!You'reenoughtofrightenthelifeandsoul out of her little delicious witsflying all at once into such a blazing,ravaging,ragingpassionasneverwas,demmit!'

'Pshaw,'rejoinedRalph,forcingasmile.'Itisbutmanner.'

'It is a demd uncomfortable, privatemadhousesort of a manner,' said MrMantalini,pickinguphiscane.

Ralphaffectedtosmile,andoncemoreinquiredfromwhomMrMantalinihadderivedhisinformation.

'From Pyke; and a demd, fine, pleasant, gentlemanly dog it is,' repliedMantalini.'Demnitionpleasant,andatiptopsawyer.'

'Andwhatsaidhe?'askedRalph,knittinghisbrows.

'That it happened this waythat your nephewmet him at a coffeehouse, felluponhimwiththemostdemnebleferocity,followedhimtohiscab,sworehewouldridehomewithhim,ifherodeuponthehorse'sbackorhookedhimselfon to the horse's tail; smashed his countenance, which is a demd finecountenanceinitsnaturalstate;frightenedthehorse,pitchedoutSirMulberryandhimself,and'

'Andwaskilled?'interposedRalphwithgleamingeyes.'Washe?Ishedead?'

Mantalinishookhishead.

'Ugh,' saidRalph, turningaway. 'Thenhehasdonenothing.Stay,'headded,looking round again. 'He broke a leg or an arm, or put his shoulder out, orfracturedhiscollarbone,orgroundaribor two?Hisneckwassavedfor thehalter,buthegotsomepainfulandslowhealinginjuryforhistrouble?Didhe?Youmusthaveheardthat,atleast.'

'No,' rejoinedMantalini, shakinghisheadagain. 'Unlesshewasdashed intosuchlittlepiecesthattheyblewaway,hewasn'thurt,forhewentoffasquietand comfortable asasas demnition,' saidMrMantalini, rather at a loss for asimile.

'Andwhat,'saidRalph,hesitatingalittle,'whatwasthecauseofquarrel?'

'You are the demdest, knowing hand,' repliedMrMantalini, in an admiringtone, 'the cunningest, rummest, superlativest old foxoh dem!to pretend nownottoknowthatitwasthelittlebrighteyedniecethesoftest,sweetest,prettiest'

'Alfred!'interposedMadameMantalini.

'Sheisalwaysright,'rejoinedMrMantalinisoothingly,'andwhenshesaysitistimetogo,itistime,andgosheshall;andwhenshewalksalongthestreetswithherowntulip, thewomenshallsay,withenvy,shehasgotademdfinehusband;andthemenshallsaywithrapture,hehasgotademdfinewife;andtheyshallbothberightandneitherwrong,uponmylifeandsoulohdemmit!'

Withwhichremarks,andmanymore,nolessintellectualandtothepurpose,MrMantalinikissedthefingersofhisglovestoRalphNickleby,anddrawinghislady'sarmthroughhis,ledhermincinglyaway.

'So,so,'mutteredRalph,droppingintohischair;'thisdevilislooseagain,andthwarting me, as he was born to do, at every turn. He told me once thereshouldbeadayofreckoningbetweenus,soonerorlater.I'llmakehimatrue

prophet,foritshallsurelycome.'

'Areyouathome?'askedNewman,suddenlypoppinginhishead.

'No,'repliedRalph,withequalabruptness.

Newmanwithdrewhishead,butthrustitinagain.

'You'requitesureyou'renotathome,areyou?'saidNewman.

'Whatdoestheidiotmean?'criedRalph,testily.

'Hehasbeenwaitingnearlyeversincetheyfirstcamein,andmayhaveheardyourvoicethat'sall,'saidNewman,rubbinghishands.

'Who has?' demandedRalph,wrought by the intelligence he had just heard,andhisclerk'sprovokingcoolness,toanintensepitchofirritation.

Thenecessityofareplywassupersededbytheunlookedforentranceofathirdpartytheindividualinquestionwho,bringinghisoneeye(forhehadbutone)to bear on Ralph Nickleby, made a great many shambling bows, and sathimselfdowninanarmchair,withhishandsonhisknees,andhisshortblacktrousersdrawnupsohighinthelegsbytheexertionofseatinghimself, thattheyscarcelyreachedbelowthetopsofhisWellingtonboots.

'Why, this IS a surprise!' saidRalph, bendinghis gazeupon the visitor, andhalf smiling as he scrutinisedhimattentively; 'I shouldknowyour face,MrSqueers.'

'Ah!'repliedthatworthy,'andyou'dhaveknow'ditbetter,sir,ifithadn'tbeenforallthatI'vebeenagoingthrough.Justliftthatlittleboyoffthetallstoolinthebackoffice,andtellhimtocomeinhere,willyou,myman?'saidSqueers,addressinghimself toNewman. 'Oh,he's liftedhisselfoff.Myson, sir, littleWackford.What do you think of him, sir, for a specimen of theDotheboysHall feeding?Ain'the fit tobustoutofhisclothes,andstart theseams,andmake the very buttons fly offwith his fatness?Here's flesh!' cried Squeers,turning the boy about, and indenting the plumpest parts of his figure withdivers pokes and punches, to the great discomposure of his son and heir.'Here'sfirmness,here'ssolidness!Whyyoucanhardlygetupenoughofhimbetweenyourfingerandthumbtopinchhimanywheres.'

InhowevergoodconditionMasterSqueersmighthavebeen,hecertainlydidnotpresentthisremarkablecompactnessofperson,foronhisfather'sclosinghisfingerandthumbinillustrationofhisremark,heutteredasharpcry,andrubbedtheplaceinthemostnaturalmannerpossible.

'Well,' remarked Squeers, a little disconcerted, 'I had him there; but that'sbecausewe breakfasted early thismorning, and he hasn't had his lunch yet.

Whyyoucouldn'tshutabitofhiminadoor,whenhe'shadhisdinner.Lookatthemtears,sir,'saidSqueers,withatriumphantair,asMasterWackfordwipedhiseyeswiththecuffofhisjacket,'there'soiliness!'

'He lookswell, indeed,' returnedRalph,who, forsomepurposesofhisown,seemeddesiroustoconciliatetheschoolmaster.'ButhowisMrsSqueers,andhowareyou?'

'Mrs Squeers, sir,' replied the proprietor ofDotheboys, 'is as she always isamother to themlads,andablessing,andacomfort,anda joy toall themasknowsher.Oneof our boysgorginghisselfwithvittles, and then turning in;that'stheirwaygotaabscessonhimlastweek.Toseehowsheoperateduponhimwithapenknife!OhLor!'saidSqueers,heavingasigh,andnoddinghisheadagreatmanytimes,'whatamemberofsocietythatwomanis!'

MrSqueersindulgedinaretrospectivelook,forsomequarterofaminute,asif this allusion to his lady's excellences had naturally led his mind to thepeacefulvillageofDotheboysnearGretaBridgeinYorkshire;andthenlookedatRalph,asifwaitingforhimtosaysomething.

'Haveyouquiterecoveredthatscoundrel'sattack?'askedRalph.

'I'veonlyjustdoneit,ifI'vedoneitnow,'repliedSqueers.'Iwasoneblessedbruise,sir,'saidSqueers,touchingfirsttherootsofhishair,andthenthetoesofhisboots, 'fromHEREtoTHERE.Vinegarandbrownpaper,vinegarandbrownpaper, frommorning to night. I suppose therewas amatter of half areamofbrownpaperstuckuponme,fromfirsttolast.AsIlaidallofaheapinour kitchen, plastered all over, you might have thought I was a largebrownpaper parcel, chock full of nothing but groans. Did I groan loud,Wackford,ordidIgroansoft?'askedMrSqueers,appealingtohisson.

'Loud,'repliedWackford.

'Wastheboyssorrytoseemeinsuchadreadfulcondition,Wackford,orwastheyglad?'askedMrSqueers,inasentimentalmanner.

'Gl'

'Eh?'criedSqueers,turningsharpround.

'Sorry,'rejoinedhisson.

'Oh!'saidSqueers,catchinghimasmartboxontheear.'Thentakeyourhandsout of your pockets, anddon't stammerwhenyou're asked a question.Holdyournoise, sir, inagentleman'soffice,or I'll runaway frommy familyandnevercomebackanymore;andthenwhatwouldbecomeofallthempreciousandforlornladsaswouldbeletlooseontheworld,withouttheirbestfriendat

theirelbers?'

'Wereyouobligedtohavemedicalattendance?'inquiredRalph.

'Ay,wasI,'rejoinedSqueers,'andapreciousbillthemedicalattendantbroughtintoo;butIpaiditthough.'

Ralphelevatedhiseyebrowsinamannerwhichmightbeexpressiveofeithersympathyorastonishmentjustasthebeholderwaspleasedtotakeit.

'Yes,Ipaidit,everyfarthing,'repliedSqueers,whoseemedtoknowthemanhe had to deal with, too well to suppose that any blinking of the questionwouldinducehimtosubscribetowardstheexpenses;'Iwasn'toutofpocketbyitafterall,either.'

'No!'saidRalph.

'Notahalfpenny,' repliedSqueers. 'The fact is,wehaveonlyoneextrawithourboys,andthatisfordoctorswhenrequiredandnotthen,unlesswe'resureofourcustomers.Doyousee?'

'Iunderstand,'saidRalph.

'Verygood,'rejoinedSqueers. 'Then,aftermybillwasrunup,wepickedoutfivelittleboys(sonsofsmalltradesmen,aswassurepay)thathadneverhadthescarletfever,andwesentonetoacottagewherethey'dgotit,andhetookit,andthenweputthefourotherstosleepwithhim,andTHEYtookit,andthenthedoctorcameandattended'emonceallround,andwedividedmytotalamong'em,andaddeditontotheirlittlebills,andtheparentspaidit.Ha!ha!ha!'

'Andagoodplantoo,'saidRalph,eyeingtheschoolmasterstealthily.

'I believeyou,' rejoinedSqueers. 'Wealwaysdo it.Why,whenMrsSqueerswas brought to bed with little Wackford here, we ran the hoopingcoughthroughhalfadozenboys,andchargedherexpensesamong'em,monthlynurseincluded.Ha!ha!ha!'

Ralphneverlaughed,butonthisoccasionheproducedthenearestapproachtoit that he could, andwaiting untilMr Squeers had enjoyed the professionaljoketohisheart'scontent,inquiredwhathadbroughthimtotown.

'Some bothering law business,' replied Squeers, scratching his head,'connectedwith an action, forwhat they call neglect of a boy. I don't knowwhattheywouldhave.Hehadasgoodgrazing,thatboyhad,asthereisaboutus.'

Ralphlookedasifhedidnotquiteunderstandtheobservation.

'Grazing,'saidSqueers, raisinghisvoice,under the impression thatasRalphfailedtocomprehendhim,hemustbedeaf.'Whenaboygetsweakandillanddon'trelishhismeals,wegivehimachangeofdietturnhimout,foranhourorso every day, into a neighbour's turnip field, or sometimes, if it's a delicatecase,aturnipfieldandapieceofcarrotsalternately,andlethimeatasmanyashelikes.Therean'tbetterlandinthecountrythanthisperwerseladgrazedon,andyethegoesandcatchescoldandindigestionandwhatnot,andthenhis friends brings a lawsuit againstME!Now, you'd hardly suppose,' addedSqueers, moving in his chair with the impatience of an illused man, 'thatpeople'singratitudewouldcarrythemquiteasfarasthat;wouldyou?'

'Ahardcase,indeed,'observedRalph.

'Youdon'tsaymorethanthetruthwhenyousaythat,'repliedSqueers.'Idon'tsuppose there's aman going, as possesses the fondness for youth that I do.There'syouthtotheamountofeighthundredpoundayearatDotheboysHallat thispresent time.I'd takesixteenhundredpoundworth if Icouldget 'em,andbeasfondofeveryindividualtwentypoundamong'emasnothingshouldequalit!'

'Areyoustoppingatyouroldquarters?'askedRalph.

'Yes,weareattheSaracen,'repliedSqueers,'andasitdon'twantverylongtotheendofthehalfyear,weshallcontinneytostoptheretillI'vecollectedthemoney, and somenewboys too, I hope. I've brought littleWackford up, onpurposetoshowtoparentsandguardians.Ishallputhimintheadvertisement,thistime.Lookatthatboyhimselfapupil.Whyhe'samiracleofhighfeeding,thatboyis!'

'Ishouldliketohaveawordwithyou,'saidRalph,whohadbothspokenandlistenedmechanicallyforsometime,andseemedtohavebeenthinking.

'Asmanywordsasyoulike,sir,'rejoinedSqueers.'Wackford,yougoandplayinthebackoffice,anddon'tmoveabouttoomuchoryou'llgetthin,andthatwon'tdo.Youhaven'tgotsuchathingastwopence,MrNickleby,haveyou?'said Squeers, rattling a bunch of keys in his coat pocket, and mutteringsomethingaboutitsbeingallsilver.

'IthinkIhave,'saidRalph,veryslowly,andproducing,aftermuchrummaginginanolddrawer,apenny,ahalfpenny,andtwofarthings.

'Thankee,' saidSqueers,bestowing ituponhisson. 'Here!YougoandbuyatartMr Nickleby's man will show you whereand mind you buy a rich one.Pastry,'addedSqueers,closingthedooronMasterWackford,'makeshisfleshshineagooddeal,andparentsthinksthatahealthysign.'

Withthisexplanation,andapeculiarlyknowinglooktoekeitout,MrSqueersmovedhischairsoastobringhimselfoppositetoRalphNicklebyatnogreatdistanceoff;andhavingplantedittohisentiresatisfaction,satdown.

'Attendtome,'saidRalph,bendingforwardalittle.

Squeersnodded.

'Iamnottosuppose,'saidRalph,'thatyouaredoltenoughtoforgiveorforget,veryreadily,theviolencethatwascommitteduponyou,ortheexposurewhichaccompaniedit?'

'Devilabit,'repliedSqueers,tartly.

'Or to loseanopportunityofrepaying itwith interest, ifyoucouldgetone?'saidRalph.

'Showmeone,andtry,'rejoinedSqueers.

'Somesuchobjectitwas,thatinducedyoutocallonme?'saidRalph,raisinghiseyestotheschoolmaster'sface.

'Nnno, I don't know that,' replied Squeers. 'I thought that if it was in yourpowertomakeme,besidesthetrifleofmoneyyousent,anycompensation'

'Ah!'criedRalph,interruptinghim.'Youneedn'tgoon.'

Afteralongpause,duringwhichRalphappearedabsorbedincontemplation,heagainbrokesilencebyasking:

'Whoisthisboythathetookwithhim?'

Squeersstatedhisname.

'Was he young or old, healthy or sickly, tractable or rebellious? Speak out,man,'retortedRalph.

'Why,hewasn'tyoung,'answeredSqueers; 'that is,notyoungforaboy,youknow.'

'Thatis,hewasnotaboyatall,Isuppose?'interruptedRalph.

'Well,' returnedSqueers, briskly, as if he felt relieved by the suggestion, 'hemight have been nigh twenty.Hewouldn't seem so old, though, to them asdidn't know him, for he was a little wanting here,' touching his forehead;'nobodyathome,youknow,ifyouknockedeversooften.'

'AndyouDIDknockprettyoften,Idaresay?'mutteredRalph.

'Prettywell,'returnedSqueerswithagrin.

'Whenyouwrotetoacknowledgethereceiptofthistrifleofmoneyasyoucallit,' saidRalph, 'you toldmehis friendshaddesertedhim long ago, and thatyouhadnotthefaintestclueortracetotellyouwhohewas.Isthatthetruth?'

'Itis,worseluck!'repliedSqueers,becomingmoreandmoreeasyandfamiliarin his manner, as Ralph pursued his inquiries with the less reserve. 'It'sfourteenyearsago,bytheentryinmybook,sinceastrangemanbroughthimtomyplace,oneautumnnight,andlefthimthere;payingfivepoundfive,forhis first quarter in advance.Hemight havebeen fiveor sixyear old at thattimenotmore.'

'Whatmoredoyouknowabouthim?'demandedRalph.

'Devilish little, I'm sorry to say,' replied Squeers. 'Themoney was paid forsome six or eight year, and then it stopped. He had given an address inLondon, had this chap; but when it came to the point, of course nobodyknowedanythingabouthim.SoIkepttheladoutofoutof'

'Charity?'suggestedRalphdrily.

'Charity,tobesure,'returnedSqueers,rubbinghisknees,'andwhenhebeginstobeusefulinacertainsortofway,thisyoungscoundrelofaNicklebycomesandcarrieshimoff.Butthemostvexatiousandaggeravatingpartofthewholeaffairis,'saidSqueers,droppinghisvoice,anddrawinghischairstillclosertoRalph,'thatsomequestionshavebeenaskedabouthimatlastnotofme,but,inaroundaboutkindofway,ofpeopleinourvillage.So,thatjustwhenImighthave had all arrears paid up, perhaps, and perhapswho knows? such thingshavehappenedinourbusinessbeforeapresentbesidesforputtinghimouttoafarmer,orsendinghimtosea,so thathemightnever turnuptodisgracehisparents,supposinghimtobeanaturalboy,asmanyofourboysaredamme,ifthatvillainofaNicklebydon'tcollarhiminopenday,andcommitasgoodashighwayrobberyuponmypocket.'

'Wewillbothcryquitswithhimbeforelong,'saidRalph,layinghishandonthearmoftheYorkshireschoolmaster.

'Quits!'echoedSqueers.'Ah!andIshouldliketoleaveasmallbalanceinhisfavour,tobesettledwhenhecan.IonlywishMrsSqueerscouldcatchholdofhim.Blessherheart!She'dmurderhim,MrNicklebyshewould,assoonaseatherdinner.'

'Wewill talk of this again,' saidRalph. 'Imust have time to think of it. Towound him through his own affections and fancies. If I could strike himthroughthisboy'

'Strikehimhowyoulike,sir,'interruptedSqueers,'onlyhithimhardenough,

that's allandwith that, I'll saygoodmorning.Here!just chuck that littleboy'shatoffthatcornerpeg,andlifthimoffthestoolwillyou?'

BawlingtheserequeststoNewmanNoggs,MrSqueersbetookhimselftothelittle backoffice, and fitted on his child's hat with parental anxiety, whileNewman,withhispenbehindhisear,sat,stiffand immovable,onhisstool,regardingthefatherandsonbyturnswithabroadstare.

'He'safineboy,an'the?'saidSqueers,throwinghisheadalittleononeside,and falling back to the desk, the better to estimate the proportions of littleWackford.

'Very,'saidNewman.

'Pretty well swelled out, an't he?' pursued Squeers. 'He has the fatness oftwentyboys,hehas.'

'Ah!' replied Newman, suddenly thrusting his face into that of Squeers, 'hehas;thefatnessof twenty!more!He'sgot itall.Godhelpthatothers.Ha!ha!OhLord!'

Having uttered these fragmentary observations, Newman dropped upon hisdeskandbegantowritewithmostmarvellousrapidity.

'Why,whatdoesthemanmean?'criedSqueers,colouring.'Ishedrunk?'

Newmanmadenoreply.

'Ishemad?'saidSqueers.

But, stillNewmanbetrayednoconsciousnessofanypresencesavehisown;so,Mr Squeers comforted himself by saying that he was both drunk ANDmad;and,withthispartingobservation,heledhishopefulsonaway.

InexactproportionasRalphNicklebybecameconsciousofastrugglingandlingeringregardforKate,hadhisdetestationofNicholasaugmented.Itmightbe, that to atone for theweaknessof inclining to anyoneperson,heheld itnecessary tohate someothermore intensely thanbefore; but suchhadbeenthecourseofhisfeelings.Andnow,tobedefiedandspurned,tobehelduptoher in theworst andmost repulsive colours, toknow that shewas taught tohateanddespisehim:tofeelthattherewasinfectioninhistouch,andtaintinhiscompanionshiptoknowall this,and toknowthat themoverof itallwasthat same boyish poor relation who had twitted him in their very firstinterview, and openly bearded and braved him since,wrought his quiet andstealthymalignitytosuchapitch, that therewasscarcelyanythinghewouldnot have hazarded to gratify it, if he could have seen his way to someimmediateretaliation.

But, fortunately forNicholas,RalphNickleby did not; and although he castaboutallthatday,andkeptacornerofhisbrainworkingontheoneanxioussubjectthroughalltheroundofschemesandbusinessthatcamewithit,nightfoundhimatlast,stillharpingonthesametheme,andstillpursuingthesameunprofitablereflections.

'Whenmy brother was such as he,' said Ralph, 'the first comparisons weredrawnbetweenusalwaysinmydisfavour.HEwasopen,liberal,gallant,gay;Iacraftyhunksofcoldandstagnantblood,withnopassionbutloveofsaving,andnospiritbeyondathirstforgain.IrecollecteditwellwhenIfirstsawthiswhipster;butIrememberitbetternow.'

HehadbeenoccupiedintearingNicholas'sletterintoatoms;andashespoke,hescattereditinatinyshowerabouthim.

'Recollections like these,' pursued Ralph, with a bitter smile, 'flock uponmewhenIresignmyselftothemincrowds,andfromcountlessquarters.Asaportionoftheworldaffecttodespisethepowerofmoney,Imusttryandshowthemwhatitis.'

And being, by this time, in a pleasant frame of mind for slumber, RalphNicklebywenttobed.

CHAPTER35

Smikebecomesknown toMrsNicklebyandKate.NicholasalsomeetswithnewAcquaintances.BrighterDaysseemtodawnupontheFamily

Havingestablishedhismotherandsisterintheapartmentsofthekindheartedminiaturepainter,andascertainedthatSirMulberryHawkwasinnodangeroflosing his life, Nicholas turned his thoughts to poor Smike, who, afterbreakfastingwithNewmanNoggs, had remained, in a disconsolate state, atthat worthy creature's lodgings, waiting, with much anxiety, for furtherintelligenceofhisprotector.

'Ashewillbeoneofourownlittlehousehold,whereverwelive,orwhateverfortuneisinreserveforus,'thoughtNicholas,'Imustpresentthepoorfellowindue form.Theywill bekind tohim forhisown sake, and ifnot (on thataccountsolely)tothefullextentIcouldwish,theywillstretchapoint,Iamsure,formine.'

Nicholassaid 'they',buthismisgivingswereconfinedtooneperson.Hewassure of Kate, but he knew his mother's peculiarities, and was not quite so

certainthatSmikewouldfindfavourintheeyesofMrsNickleby.

'However,' thought Nicholas as he departed on his benevolent errand; 'shecannot fail to become attached to him, when she knows what a devotedcreatureheis,andasshemustquicklymakethediscovery,hisprobationwillbeashortone.'

'I was afraid,' said Smike, overjoyed to see his friend again, 'that you hadfallenintosomefreshtrouble; thetimeseemedsolong,at last, thatIalmostfearedyouwerelost.'

'Lost!' repliedNicholasgaily. 'Youwillnotberidofmesoeasily, Ipromiseyou. I shall rise to the surfacemany thousand times yet, and the harder thethrust that pushes me down, the more quickly I shall rebound, Smike. Butcome;myerrandhereistotakeyouhome.'

'Home!'falteredSmike,drawingtimidlyback.

'Ay,'rejoinedNicholas,takinghisarm.'Whynot?'

'Ihadsuchhopesonce,'saidSmike; 'dayandnight,dayandnight,formanyyears.IlongedforhometillIwasweary,andpinedawaywithgrief,butnow'

'Andwhatnow?'askedNicholas, lookingkindly inhis face. 'Whatnow,oldfriend?'

'Icouldnotpartfromyoutogotoanyhomeonearth,'repliedSmike,pressinghis hand; 'except one, except one. I shall never be an oldman; and if yourhandplacedmeinthegrave,andIcouldthink,beforeIdied,thatyouwouldcome and look upon it sometimeswith one of your kind smiles, and in thesummerweather,wheneverythingwasalivenotdeadlikemeIcouldgotothathomealmostwithoutatear.'

'Whydoyou talk thus, poor boy, if your life is a happyonewithme?' saidNicholas.

'BecauseIshouldchange;notthoseaboutme.Andiftheyforgotme,Ishouldnever know it,' replied Smike. 'In the churchyardwe are all alike, but heretherearenonelikeme.Iamapoorcreature,butIknowthat.'

'Youareafoolish,sillycreature,'saidNicholascheerfully.'Ifthatiswhatyoumean, I grant you that. Why, here's a dismal face for ladies' company!mypretty sister too, whom you have so often asked me about. Is this yourYorkshiregallantry?Forshame!forshame!'

Smikebrightenedupandsmiled.

'When I talk of home,' pursued Nicholas, 'I talk of minewhich is yours of

course.Ifitweredefinedbyanyparticularfourwallsandaroof,GodknowsIshouldbesufficientlypuzzledtosaywhereaboutsitlay;butthatisnotwhatImean. When I speak of home, I speak of the place wherein default of abetterthoseIlovearegatheredtogether;andifthatplacewereagypsy'stent,orabarn,Ishouldcallitbythesamegoodnamenotwithstanding.Andnow,forwhatismypresenthome,which,howeveralarmingyourexpectationsmaybe,willneitherterrifyyoubyitsextentnoritsmagnificence!'

Sosaying,Nicholas tookhiscompanionby thearm,andsayingagreatdealmore to the same purpose, and pointing out various things to amuse andinteresthimastheywentalong,ledthewaytoMissLaCreevy'shouse.

'Andthis,Kate,'saidNicholas,enteringtheroomwherehissistersatalone,'isthe faithful friend and affectionate fellowtraveller whom I prepared you toreceive.'

Poor Smikewas bashful, and awkward, and frightened enough, at first, butKate advanced towardshim sokindly, and said, in sucha sweetvoice, howanxious shehadbeen to seehimafter all herbrotherhad toldher, andhowmuchshehadtothankhimforhavingcomfortedNicholassogreatlyintheirverytryingreverses,thathebegantobeverydoubtfulwhetherheshouldshedtearsornot,andbecamestillmoreflurried.However,hemanagedtosay,inabrokenvoice,thatNicholaswashisonlyfriend,andthathewouldlaydownhis life to help him; and Kate, although she was so kind and considerate,seemedtobesowhollyunconsciousofhisdistressandembarrassment,thatherecoveredalmostimmediatelyandfeltquiteathome.

Then,MissLaCreevy came in; and to herSmike had to be presented also.AndMiss La Creevy was very kind too, and wonderfully talkative: not toSmike,forthatwouldhavemadehimuneasyatfirst,buttoNicholasandhissister. Then, after a time, shewould speak to Smike himself now and then,askinghimwhetherhewasajudgeoflikenesses,andwhetherhethoughtthatpicture in the corner was like herself, andwhether he didn't think it wouldhavelookedbetterifshehadmadeherselftenyearsyounger,andwhetherhedidn'tthink,asamatterofgeneralobservation,thatyoungladieslookedbetternotonlyinpictures,butoutofthemtoo,thanoldones;withmanymoresmalljokesandfacetiousremarks,whichweredeliveredwithsuchgoodhumourandmerriment,thatSmikethought,withinhimself,shewasthenicestladyhehadever seen;evennicer thanMrsGrudden,ofMrVincentCrummles's theatre;and shewas anice lady too, and talked,perhapsmore,but certainly louder,thanMissLaCreevy.

At length the door opened again, and a lady in mourning came in; andNicholas kissing the lady in mourning affectionately, and calling her hismother, led her towards the chair from which Smike had risen when she

enteredtheroom.

'You are always kindhearted, and anxious to help the oppressed, my dearmother,' said Nicholas, 'so you will be favourably disposed towards him, Iknow.'

'Iamsure,mydearNicholas,'repliedMrsNickleby,lookingveryhardathernew friend, and bending to him with something more of majesty than theoccasionseemed to require: 'Iamsureanyfriendofyourshas,as indeedhenaturally ought to have, andmust have, of course, you know, a great claimuponme,andofcourse, it isaverygreatpleasuretometobeintroducedtoanybodyyoutakeaninterestin.Therecanbenodoubtaboutthat;noneatall;not the least in theworld,' saidMrsNickleby. 'At the same time Imust say,Nicholas,mydear,asIusedtosaytoyourpoordearpapa,whenheWOULDbringgentlemenhometodinner,andtherewasnothinginthehouse,thatifhehadcomethedaybeforeyesterdayno,Idon'tmeanthedaybeforeyesterdaynow; I should have said, perhaps, the year before lastwe should have beenbetterabletoentertainhim.'

Withwhichremarks,MrsNicklebyturnedtoherdaughter,andinquired,inanaudiblewhisper,whetherthegentlemanwasgoingtostopallnight.

'Because, if he is, Kate, my dear,' said Mrs Nickleby, 'I don't see that it'spossibleforhimtosleepanywhere,andthat'sthetruth.'

Kate stepped gracefully forward, and without any show of annoyance orirritation,breathedafewwordsintohermother'sear.

'La, Kate, my dear,' saidMrs Nickleby, shrinking back, 'how you do tickleone!Ofcourse,IunderstandTHAT,mylove,withoutyour tellingme;andIsaid thesametoNicholas,andIAMverymuchpleased.Youdidn't tellme,Nicholas, my dear,' addedMrs Nickleby, turning round with an air of lessreservethanshehadbeforeassumed,'whatyourfriend'snameis.'

'Hisname,mother,'repliedNicholas,'isSmike.'

Theeffectofthiscommunicationwasbynomeansanticipated;butthenamewasnosoonerpronounced,thanMrsNicklebydroppeduponachair,andburstintoafitofcrying.

'Whatisthematter?'exclaimedNicholas,runningtosupporther.

'It'ssolikePyke,'criedMrsNickleby;'soexactlylikePyke.Oh!don'tspeaktomeIshallbebetterpresently.'

Andafterexhibitingeverysymptomofslowsuffocationinallitsstages,anddrinking about a teaspoonful of water from a full tumbler, and spilling the

remainder,MrsNicklebyWASbetter,andremarked,withafeeblesmile,thatshewasveryfoolish,sheknew.

'It's aweakness in our family,' saidMrsNickleby, 'so, of course, I can't beblamed for it. Your grandmama, Kate, was exactly the sameprecisely. Theleastexcitement, theslightestsurpriseshefaintedawaydirectly. Ihaveheardhersay,oftenandoften,thatwhenshewasayounglady,andbeforeshewasmarried, shewas turning a corner intoOxfordStreet oneday,when she ranagainstherownhairdresser,who,itseems,wasescapingfromabear;themeresuddenness of the encounter made her faint away directly. Wait, though,'addedMrsNickleby,pausingtoconsider.'LetmebesureI'mright.Wasitherhairdresserwhohadescaped fromabear,orwas it abearwhohadescapedfromherhairdresser's?IdeclareIcan'trememberjustnow,butthehairdresserwasaveryhandsomeman,Iknow,andquiteagentlemaninhismanners;sothatithasnothingtodowiththepointofthestory.'

MrsNicklebyhavingfallenimperceptiblyintooneofherretrospectivemoods,improvedin temperfromthatmoment,andglided,byaneasychangeof theconversationoccasionally,intovariousotheranecdotes,nolessremarkablefortheirstrictapplicationtothesubjectinhand.

'Mr Smike is fromYorkshire, Nicholas, my dear?' saidMrs Nickleby, afterdinner,andwhenshehadbeensilentforsometime.

'Certainly, mother,' replied Nicholas. 'I see you have not forgotten hismelancholyhistory.'

'Odearno,'criedMrsNickleby. 'Ah!melancholy, indeed.Youdon'thappen,MrSmike,evertohavedinedwiththeGrimblesofGrimbleHall,somewhereintheNorthRiding,doyou?'saidthegoodlady,addressingherselftohim.'Avery proud man, Sir Thomas Grimble, with six grownup and most lovelydaughters,andthefinestparkinthecounty.'

'My dear mother,' reasoned Nicholas, 'do you suppose that the unfortunateoutcast of aYorkshire schoolwas likely to receivemanycardsof invitationfromthenobilityandgentryintheneighbourhood?'

'Really,mydear, I don't knowwhy it should be so very extraordinary,' saidMrsNickleby.'IknowthatwhenIwasatschool,Ialwayswentatleasttwiceevery halfyear to theHawkinses at TauntonVale, and they aremuch richerthantheGrimbles,andconnectedwiththeminmarriage;soyouseeit'snotsoveryunlikely,afterall.'

Having put down Nicholas in this triumphant manner, Mrs Nickleby wassuddenlyseizedwithaforgetfulnessofSmike'srealname,andanirresistibletendencytocallhimMrSlammons;whichcircumstancesheattributedtothe

remarkablesimilarityofthetwonamesinpointofsoundbothbeginningwithanS,andmoreoverbeingspeltwithanM.Butwhateverdoubttheremightbeonthispoint, therewasnoneastohisbeingamostexcellentlistener;whichcircumstance had considerable influence in placing them on the very bestterms,andinducingMrsNicklebytoexpressthehighestopinionofhisgeneraldeportmentanddisposition.

Thus, the littlecircle remained,on themostamicableandagreeable footing,until the Monday morning, when Nicholas withdrew himself from it for ashorttime,seriouslytoreflectuponthestateofhisaffairs,andtodetermine,ifhecould,uponsomecourseoflife,whichwouldenablehimtosupportthosewhoweresoentirelydependentuponhisexertions.

Mr Crummles occurred to him more than once; but although Kate wasacquaintedwith thewholehistoryofhisconnectionwith thatgentleman,hismotherwasnot;andheforesawathousandfretfulobjections,onherpart,tohis seeking a livelihood upon the stage. There were graver reasons, too,againsthisreturningtothatmodeoflife.Independentlyofthosearisingoutofitsspareandprecariousearnings,andhisowninternalconvictionthathecouldneverhopetoaspiretoanygreatdistinction,evenasaprovincialactor,howcouldhecarryhissisterfromtowntotown,andplacetoplace,anddebarherfrom any other associates than those with whom he would be compelled,almostwithoutdistinction,tomingle?'Itwon'tdo,'saidNicholas,shakinghishead;'Imusttrysomethingelse.'

Itwasmucheasiertomakethisresolutionthantocarryitintoeffect.Withnogreaterexperienceof theworldthanhehadacquiredforhimself inhisshorttrials;withasufficientshareofheadlongrashnessandprecipitation(qualitiesnot altogether unnatural at his time of life); with a very slender stock ofmoney,andastillmorescantystockoffriends;whatcouldhedo?'Egad!'saidNicholas,'I'lltrythatRegisterOfficeagain.'

He smiled at himself as he walked away with a quick step; for, an instantbefore,hehadbeeninternallyblaminghisownprecipitation.Hedidnotlaughhimselfoutoftheintention,however,foronhewent:picturingtohimself,asheapproachedtheplace,allkindsofsplendidpossibilities,andimpossibilitiestoo, for that matter, and thinking himself, perhaps with good reason, veryfortunatetobeendowedwithsobuoyantandsanguineatemperament.

Theofficelookedjustthesameaswhenhehadleftitlast,and,indeed,withone or two exceptions, there seemed to be the very same placards in thewindowthathehadseenbefore.Therewerethesameunimpeachablemastersandmistressesinwantofvirtuousservants,andthesamevirtuousservantsinwant of unimpeachable masters and mistresses, and the same magnificentestates for the investment of capital, and the same enormous quantities of

capital to be invested in estates, and, in short, the same opportunities of allsortsforpeoplewhowantedtomaketheirfortunes.Andamostextraordinaryproofitwasofthenationalprosperity,thatpeoplehadnotbeenfoundtoavailthemselvesofsuchadvantageslongago.

AsNicholasstoppedtolookinatthewindow,anoldgentlemanhappenedtostop too;andNicholas,carryinghiseyealong thewindowpanes fromleft toright insearchofsomecapitaltextplacardwhichshouldbeapplicable tohisown case, caught sight of this old gentleman's figure, and instinctivelywithdrewhiseyesfromthewindow,toobservethesamemoreclosely.

Hewasasturdyoldfellowinabroadskirtedbluecoat,madeprettylarge,tofiteasily, andwith no particularwaist; his bulky legs clothed in drab breechesandhighgaiters,andhisheadprotectedbyalowcrownedbroadbrimmedwhitehat,suchasawealthygraziermightwear.Heworehiscoatbuttoned;andhisdimpleddoublechinrestedinthefoldsofawhiteneckerchiefnotoneofyourstiffstarchedapoplecticcravats,butagood,easy,oldfashionedwhiteneckcloththatamanmightgotobedinandbenonetheworsefor.ButwhatprincipallyattractedtheattentionofNicholaswastheoldgentleman'seye,neverwassucha clear, twinkling, honest, merry, happy eye, as that. And there he stood,lookingalittleupward,withonehandthrustintothebreastofhiscoat,andtheotherplayingwithhisoldfashionedgoldwatchchain:hisheadthrownalittleononeside,andhishatalittlemoreononesidethanhishead,(butthatwasevidentlyaccident;nothisordinarywayofwearing it,)withsuchapleasantsmile playing about his mouth, and such a comical expression of mingledslyness,simplicity,kindheartedness,andgoodhumour,lightinguphisjollyoldface,thatNicholaswouldhavebeencontenttohavestoodthereandlookedathim until evening, and to have forgotten,meanwhile, that therewas such athingasasouredmindoracrabbedcountenancetobemetwithinthewholewideworld.

But,evenaveryremoteapproachtothisgratificationwasnottobemade,foralthough he seemed quite unconscious of having been the subject ofobservation, he looked casually atNicholas; and the latter, fearful of givingoffence,resumedhisscrutinyofthewindowinstantly.

Still, the old gentleman stood there, glancing from placard to placard, andNicholascouldnotforbearraisinghiseyestohisfaceagain.Grafteduponthequaintness and oddity of his appearance, was something so indescribablyengaging,andbespeakingsomuchworth,andthereweresomanylittlelightshovering about the corners of his mouth and eyes, that it was not a mereamusement,butapositivepleasureanddelighttolookathim.

Thisbeing thecase, it isnowonder that theoldmancaughtNicholas in thefact, more than once. At such times, Nicholas coloured and looked

embarrassed:forthetruthis,thathehadbeguntowonderwhetherthestrangercould,byanypossibility,belookingforaclerkorsecretary;andthinkingthis,hefeltasiftheoldgentlemanmustknowit.

Long as all this takes to tell, it was not more than a couple of minutes inpassing.Asthestrangerwasmovingaway,Nicholascaughthiseyeagain,and,intheawkwardnessofthemoment,stammeredoutanapology.

'Nooffence.Ohnooffence!'saidtheoldman.

This was said in such a hearty tone, and the voice was so exactly what itshouldhavebeenfromsuchaspeaker,andtherewassuchacordialityinthemanner,thatNicholaswasemboldenedtospeakagain.

'A great many opportunities here, sir,' he said, half smiling as hemotionedtowardsthewindow.

'A great many people willing and anxious to be employed have seriouslythought so very often, I dare say,' replied the old man. 'Poor fellows, poorfellows!'

Hemovedawayashesaidthis;butseeingthatNicholaswasabouttospeak,goodnaturedly slackened his pace, as if hewere unwilling to cut him short.Afteralittleofthathesitationwhichmaybesometimesobservedbetweentwopeopleinthestreetwhohaveexchangedanod,andarebothuncertainwhethertheyshallturnbackandspeak,ornot,Nicholasfoundhimselfattheoldman'sside.

'Youwereabouttospeak,younggentleman;whatwereyougoingtosay?'

'Merely that I almost hopedI mean to say, thoughtyou had some object inconsultingthoseadvertisements,'saidNicholas.

'Ay,ay?whatobjectnowwhatobject?'returnedtheoldman,lookingslylyatNicholas.'DidyouthinkIwantedasituationnoweh?DidyouthinkIdid?'

Nicholasshookhishead.

'Ha!ha!'laughedtheoldgentleman,rubbinghishandsandwristsasifhewerewashingthem.'Averynaturalthought,atallevents,afterseeingmegazingatthosebills.Ithoughtthesameofyou,atfirst;uponmywordIdid.'

'Ifyouhadthoughtsoat last, too,sir,youwouldnothavebeenfarfromthetruth,'rejoinedNicholas.

'Eh?'criedtheoldman,surveyinghimfromheadtofoot.'What!Dearme!No,no.Wellbehavedyounggentlemanreducedtosuchanecessity!Nono,nono.'

Nicholasbowed,andbiddinghimgoodmorning,turneduponhisheel.

'Stay,' said the oldman, beckoning him into a bye street, where they couldconversewithlessinterruption.'Whatd'yemean,eh?'

'Merely that your kind face and mannerboth so unlike any I have everseentemptedmeintoanavowal,which,toanyotherstrangerinthiswildernessofLondon,Ishouldnothavedreamtofmaking,'returnedNicholas.

'Wilderness!Yes, it is, it is.Good!It ISawilderness,'said theoldmanwithmuchanimation.'Itwasawildernesstomeonce.Icameherebarefoot.Ihaveneverforgottenit.ThankGod!'andheraisedhishatfromhishead,andlookedverygrave.

'What'sthematter?Whatisit?Howdiditallcomeabout?'saidtheoldman,layinghishandon the shoulderofNicholas, andwalkinghimup the street.'You'reEh?'layinghisfingeronthesleeveofhisblackcoat.'Who'sitfor,eh?'

'Myfather,'repliedNicholas.

'Ah!' said theoldgentlemanquickly. 'Bad thing forayoungman to losehisfather.Widowedmother,perhaps?'

Nicholassighed.

'Brothersandsisterstoo?Eh?'

'Onesister,'rejoinedNicholas.

'Poor thing,poor thing!Youareascholar too, Idaresay?'said theoldman,lookingwistfullyintothefaceoftheyoungone.

'Ihavebeentolerablywelleducated,'saidNicholas.

'Fine thing,' said the old gentleman, 'education a great thing: a very greatthing!Ineverhadany.Iadmireitthemoreinothers.Averyfinething.Yes,yes. Tell me more of your history. Let me hear it all. No impertinentcuriosityno,no,no.'

Therewassomethingsoearnestandguilelessinthewayinwhichallthiswassaid, and such a complete disregard of all conventional restraints andcoldnesses,thatNicholascouldnotresistit.Amongmenwhohaveanysoundandsterlingqualities,thereisnothingsocontagiousaspureopennessofheart.Nicholastooktheinfectioninstantly,andranoverthemainpointsofhislittlehistorywithoutreserve:merelysuppressingnames,andtouchingaslightlyaspossibleuponhisuncle's treatmentofKate.Theoldman listenedwithgreatattention,andwhenhehadconcluded,drewhisarmeagerlythroughhisown.

'Don'tsayanotherword.Notanotherword'saidhe.'Comealongwithme.Wemustn'tloseaminute.'

Sosaying,theoldgentlemandraggedhimbackintoOxfordStreet,andhailingan omnibus on its way to the city, pushed Nicholas in before him, andfollowedhimself.

Asheappearedinamostextraordinaryconditionofrestlessexcitement,andwheneverNicholasofferedtospeak, immediatelyinterposedwith: 'Don'tsayanotherword,mydear sir,onanyaccountnotanotherword,' theyoungmanthoughtitbettertoattemptnofurtherinterruption.Intothecitytheyjourneyedaccordingly, without interchanging any conversation; and the farther theywent, the more Nicholas wondered what the end of the adventure couldpossiblybe.

Theoldgentlemangotout,withgreatalacrity,when they reached theBank,andoncemore takingNicholasby thearm,hurriedhimalongThreadneedleStreet,andthroughsomelanesandpassagesontheright,untilthey,atlength,emerged in a quiet shady little square. Into the oldest and cleanestlookinghouseofbusiness in the square,he led theway.Theonly inscriptionon thedoorpostwas'Cheeryble,Brothers;'butfromahastyglanceatthedirectionsofsomepackageswhichwere lyingabout,Nicholas supposed that thebrothersCheeryblewereGermanmerchants.

Passing through awarehousewhichpresented every indicationof a thrivingbusiness, Mr Cheeryble (for such Nicholas supposed him to be, from therespectwhichhadbeenshownhimby thewarehousemenandporterswhomtheypassed)ledhimintoalittlepartitionedoffcountinghouselikealargeglasscase, inwhichcountinghousetheresatasfreefromdustandblemishas ifhehadbeen fixed into theglasscasebefore the topwasputon, andhadnevercome out sincea fat, elderly, largefaced clerk, with silver spectacles and apowderedhead.

'Ismybrotherinhisroom,Tim?'saidMrCheeryble,withnolesskindnessofmannerthanhehadshowntoNicholas.

'Yes,he is, sir,' replied the fatclerk, turninghisspectacleglasses towardshisprincipal,andhiseyestowardsNicholas,'butMrTrimmersiswithhim.'

'Ay!Andwhathashecomeabout,Tim?'saidMrCheeryble.

'Heisgettingupasubscriptionforthewidowandfamilyofamanwhowaskilledin theEastIndiaDocksthismorning,sir,' rejoinedTim. 'Smashed,sir,byacaskofsugar.'

'He is a good creature,' saidMrCheeryble, with great earnestness. 'He is akindsoul.IamverymuchobligedtoTrimmers.Trimmersisoneofthebestfriendswehave.Hemakesathousandcasesknowntousthatweshouldneverdiscoverofourselves.IamVERYmuchobligedtoTrimmers.'Sayingwhich,

Mr Cheeryble rubbed his hands with infinite delight, and Mr Trimmershappeningtopassthedoorthatinstant,onhiswayout,shotoutafterhimandcaughthimbythehand.

'I oweyoua thousand thanks,Trimmers, ten thousand thanks. I take it veryfriendlyofyou,veryfriendlyindeed,'saidMrCheeryble,dragginghimintoacornertogetoutofhearing. 'Howmanychildrenarethere,andwhathasmybrotherNedgiven,Trimmers?'

'Therearesixchildren,'repliedthegentleman,'andyourbrotherhasgivenustwentypounds.'

'MybrotherNed is a good fellow, andyou're a good fellow too,Trimmers,'said theoldman, shakinghimbybothhandswith tremblingeagerness. 'Putmedownforanother twentyorstopaminute,stopaminute.Wemustn't lookostentatious; put me down ten pound, and Tim Linkinwater ten pound. AchequefortwentypoundforMrTrimmers,Tim.Godblessyou,Trimmersandcome and dinewith us some day thisweek; you'll always find a knife andfork,andweshallbedelighted.Now,mydearsirchequefromMrLinkinwater,Tim.Smashedbyacaskofsugar,andsixpoorchildrenohdear,dear,dear!'

Talking on in this strain, as fast as he could, to prevent any friendlyremonstrancesfromthecollectorofthesubscriptiononthelargeamountofhisdonation,MrCheerybleledNicholas,equallyastonishedandaffectedbywhathehadseenandheard in thisshort space, to thehalfopeneddoorofanotherroom.

'BrotherNed,'saidMrCheeryble,tappingwithhisknuckles,andstoopingtolisten,'areyoubusy,mydearbrother,orcanyousparetimeforawordortwowithme?'

'BrotherCharles,mydearfellow,'repliedavoicefromtheinside,solikeinitstonestothatwhichhadjustspoken,thatNicholasstarted,andalmostthoughtitwasthesame,'don'taskmesuchaquestion,butcomeindirectly.'

Theywent in,without further parley.Whatwas the amazement ofNicholaswhenhis conductor advanced, and exchanged awarmgreetingwith anotherold gentleman, the very type andmodel of himselfthe same face, the samefigure, the same coat, waistcoat, and neckcloth, the same breeches andgaitersnay,therewastheverysamewhitehathangingagainstthewall!

Astheyshookeachotherbythehand:thefaceofeachlightedupbybeaminglooksofaffection,whichwouldhavebeenmostdelightfultobeholdininfants,andwhich,inmensoold,wasinexpressiblytouching:Nicholascouldobservethatthelastoldgentlemanwassomethingstouterthanhisbrother;this,andaslightadditionalshadeofclumsiness inhisgaitandstature, formed theonly

perceptibledifferencebetweenthem.Nobodycouldhavedoubtedtheirbeingtwinbrothers.

'BrotherNed,' saidNicholas's friend, closing the roomdoor, 'here is a youngfriendofminewhomwemustassist.Wemustmakeproperinquiriesintohisstatements, in justice to him as well as to ourselves, and if they areconfirmedasIfeelassuredtheywillbewemustassisthim,wemustassisthim,brotherNed.'

'It is enough, my dear brother, that you say we should,' returned the other.'Whenyousay that,no further inquiriesareneeded.HeSHALLbeassisted.What are his necessities, and what does he require? Where is TimLinkinwater?Letushavehimhere.'

Boththebrothers,itmaybehereremarked,hadaveryemphaticandearnestdelivery; both had lost nearly the same teeth, which imparted the samepeculiaritytotheirspeech;andbothspokeasif,besidespossessingtheutmostserenityofmindthatthekindliestandmostunsuspectingnaturecouldbestow,theyhad,incollectingtheplumsfromFortune'schoicestpudding,retainedafewforpresentuse,andkeptthemintheirmouths.

'WhereisTimLinkinwater?'saidbrotherNed.

'Stop,stop,stop!'saidbrotherCharles,takingtheotheraside.'I'veaplan,mydear brother, I've a plan. Tim is getting old, and Tim has been a faithfulservant,brotherNed;andIdon'tthinkpensioningTim'smotherandsister,andbuyingalittletombforthefamilywhenhispoorbrotherdied,wasasufficientrecompenseforhisfaithfulservices.'

'No,no,no,'repliedtheother.'Certainlynot.Nothalfenough,nothalf.'

'Ifwe could lightenTim's duties,' said the old gentleman, 'and prevail uponhimtogointo thecountry,nowandthen,andsleepin thefreshair,besides,twoorthreetimesaweek(whichhecould,ifhebeganbusinessanhourlaterin themorning),oldTimLinkinwaterwouldgrowyoungagain in time;andhe'sthreegoodyearsourseniornow.OldTimLinkinwateryoungagain!Eh,brotherNed,eh?Why,IrecollectoldTimLinkinwaterquitealittleboy,don'tyou?Ha,ha,ha!PoorTim,poorTim!'

And the fine old fellows laughed pleasantly together: each with a tear ofregardforoldTimLinkinwaterstandinginhiseye.

'Buthearthisfirsthearthisfirst,brotherNed,'saidtheoldman,hastily,placingtwochairs,oneoneachsideofNicholas: 'I'lltellityoumyself,brotherNed,becausetheyounggentlemanismodest,andisascholar,Ned,andIshouldn'tfeelitrightthatheshouldtellushisstoryoverandoveragainasifhewasa

beggar,orasifwedoubtedhim.No,nono.'

'No,no,no,'returnedtheother,noddinghisheadgravely.'Veryright,mydearbrother,veryright.'

'Hewill tellme I'mwrong, if Imakeamistake,' saidNicholas's friend. 'ButwhetherIdoornot,you'llbeverymuchaffected,brotherNed,rememberingthetimewhenweweretwofriendlesslads,andearnedourfirstshillinginthisgreatcity.'

The twins pressed each other's hands in silence; and in his own homelymanner, brotherCharles related the particulars he had heard fromNicholas.Theconversationwhichensuedwasalongone,andwhenitwasover,asecretconferenceofalmostequaldurationtookplacebetweenbrotherNedandTimLinkinwater inanother room. It isnodisparagement toNicholas to say, thatbeforehehadbeenclosetedwiththetwobrotherstenminutes,hecouldonlywavehishand at every fresh expressionofkindness and sympathy, and soblikealittlechild.

At length brotherNed andTimLinkinwater came back together,whenTiminstantly walked up to Nicholas and whispered in his ear in a very briefsentence(forTimwasordinarilyamanoffewwords),thathehadtakendownthe address in the Strand, and would call upon him that evening, at eight.Havingdonewhich,Timwipedhisspectaclesandputthemon,preparatorytohearingwhatmorethebrothersCheeryblehadgottosay.

'Tim,'saidbrotherCharles,'youunderstandthatwehaveanintentionoftakingthisyounggentlemanintothecountinghouse?'

Brother Ned remarked that Tim was aware of that intention, and quiteapprovedofit;andTimhavingnodded,andsaidhedid,drewhimselfupandlookedparticularlyfat,andveryimportant.Afterwhich,therewasaprofoundsilence.

'I'mnotcominganhour later in themorning,youknow,' saidTim,breakingoutallatonce,andlookingveryresolute. 'I'mnotgoingtosleepinthefreshair;no,norI'mnotgoingintothecountryeither.Aprettythingatthistimeofday,certainly.Pho!'

'Damnyourobstinacy,TimLinkinwater,'saidbrotherCharles,lookingathimwithout the faintest spark of anger, and with a countenance radiant withattachmenttotheoldclerk. 'Damnyourobstinacy,TimLinkinwater,whatdoyoumean,sir?'

'It'sfortyfouryear,'saidTim,makingacalculationintheairwithhispen,anddrawinganimaginarylinebeforehecastitup,'fortyfouryear,nextMay,since

I first kept the books of Cheeryble, Brothers. I've opened the safe everymorningall that time (Sundaysexcepted)as theclockstrucknine,andgoneoverthehouseeverynightathalfpastten(exceptonForeignPostnights,andthentwentyminutesbeforetwelve)toseethedoorsfastened,andthefiresout.I've never slept out of the backattic one single night. There's the samemignonettebox in themiddleof thewindow, and the same four flowerpots,twooneachside,thatIbroughtwithmewhenIfirstcame.Therean'tI'vesaidit again and again, and I'llmaintain itthere an't such a square as this in theworld.IKNOWtherean't,'saidTim,withsuddenenergy,andlookingsternlyabouthim.'Notone.Forbusinessorpleasure,insummertimeorwinterIdon'tcarewhichthere'snothinglike it.There'snotsuchaspringinEnglandas thepumpunderthearchway.There'snotsuchaviewinEnglandastheviewoutof my window; I've seen it everymorning before I shaved, and I ought toknow something about it. I have slept in that room,' addedTim, sinkinghisvoicea little, 'for fourandfortyyear;and if itwasn't inconvenient,anddidn'tinterferewithbusiness,Ishouldrequestleavetodiethere.'

'Damnyou,TimLinkinwater,howdareyoutalkaboutdying?'roaredthetwinsbyoneimpulse,andblowingtheiroldnosesviolently.

'That'swhatI'vegottosay,MrEdwinandMrCharles,'saidTim,squaringhisshoulders again. 'This isn't the first timeyou've talked about superannuatingme; but, if you please, we'll make it the last, and drop the subject forevermore.'

With these words, Tim Linkinwater stalked out, and shut himself up in hisglass case,with the air of amanwho had had his say, andwas thoroughlyresolvednottobeputdown.

Thebrothers interchangedlooks,andcoughedsomehalfdozentimeswithoutspeaking.

'Hemustbedone somethingwith, brotherNed,' said theother,warmly; 'wemustdisregardhisoldscruples;theycan'tbetolerated,orborne.Hemustbemadeapartner,brotherNed;andifhewon'tsubmittoitpeaceably,wemusthaverecoursetoviolence.'

'Quite right,' replied brother Ned, nodding his head as a man thoroughlydetermined;'quiteright,mydearbrother.Ifhewon'tlistentoreason,wemustdo it against his will, and show him that we are determined to exert ourauthority.Wemustquarrelwithhim,brotherCharles.'

'Wemust.Wecertainlymusthave aquarrelwithTimLinkinwater,' said theother.'Butinthemeantime,mydearbrother,wearekeepingouryoungfriend;andthepoorladyandherdaughterwillbeanxiousforhisreturn.Soletussaygoodbye for the present, andthere, theretake care of that box, my dear

sirandno,no,notawordnow;butbecarefulofthecrossingsand'

And with any disjointed and unconnected words which would preventNicholasfrompouringforthhisthanks,thebrothershurriedhimout:shakinghandswithhimall theway,andaffectingveryunsuccessfullytheywerepoorhands at deception!tobewhollyunconsciousof the feelings that completelymasteredhim.

Nicholas'sheartwastoofulltoallowofhisturningintothestreetuntilhehadrecovered somecomposure.Whenheat lastglidedoutof thedarkdoorwaycorner inwhich he had been compelled to halt, he caught a glimpse of thetwinsstealthilypeepinginatonecorneroftheglasscase,evidentlyundecidedwhether they should follow up their late attack without delay, or for thepresentpostponelayingfurthersiegetotheinflexibleTimLinkinwater.

To recount all the delight andwonderwhich the circumstances just detailedawakenedatMissLaCreevy's,andallthethingsthatweredone,said,thought,expected,hoped,andprophesiedinconsequence,isbesidethepresentcourseand purpose of these adventures. It is sufficient to state, in brief, that MrTimothyLinkinwaterarrived,punctual tohisappointment; that,oddityashewas, and jealous, as he was bound to be, of the proper exercise of hisemployers'mostcomprehensiveliberality,hereportedstronglyandwarmlyinfavourofNicholas;andthat,nextday,hewasappointedtothevacantstoolinthe countinghouse of Cheeryble, Brothers, with a present salary of onehundredandtwentypoundsayear.

'AndIthink,mydearbrother,'saidNicholas'sfirstfriend, 'thatifweweretolet them that little cottage at Bow which is empty, at something under theusualrent,now?Eh,brotherNed?'

'Fornothingatall,'saidbrotherNed. 'Wearerich,andshouldbeashamedtotouchtherentundersuchcircumstancesasthese.WhereisTimLinkinwater?fornothingatall,mydearbrother,fornothingatall.'

'Perhapsitwouldbebettertosaysomething,brotherNed,'suggestedtheother,mildly; 'itwouldhelp topreservehabitsof frugality,youknow,and removeanypainfulsenseofoverwhelmingobligations.Wemightsayfifteenpound,or twentypound, and if itwaspunctuallypaid,make it up to them in someotherway.AndImightsecretlyadvanceasmallloantowardsalittlefurniture,and youmight secretly advance another small loan, brotherNed; and ifwefind them doingwellas we shall; there's no fear, no fearwe can change theloansintogifts.Carefully,brotherNed,andbydegrees,andwithoutpressinguponthemtoomuch;whatdoyousaynow,brother?'

BrotherNedgavehishandupon it,andnotonlysaid it shouldbedone,buthaditdonetoo;and,inoneshortweek,Nicholastookpossessionofthestool,

andMrsNicklebyandKate tookpossessionof thehouse,andallwashope,bustle,andlightheartedness.

Theresurelyneverwassuchaweekofdiscoveriesandsurprisesas the firstweekofthatcottage.EverynightwhenNicholascamehome,somethingnewhad been found out. One day it was a grapevine, and another day it was aboiler,andanotherdayitwasthekeyofthefrontparlourclosetatthebottomof the waterbutt, and so on through a hundred items. Then, this roomwasembellishedwithamuslincurtain,and that roomwasrenderedquiteelegantbyawindowblind,andsuchimprovementsweremade,asnoonewouldhavesupposedpossible.ThentherewasMissLaCreevy,whohadcomeoutintheomnibustostopadayortwoandhelp,andwhowasperpetuallylosingaverysmall brownpaper parcel of tin tacks and a very large hammer, and runningaboutwithhersleevestuckedupatthewrists,andfallingoffpairsofstepsandhurtingherselfverymuchandMrsNickleby,who talked incessantly,anddidsomething now and then, but not oftenand Kate, who busied herselfnoiselessly everywhere, and was pleased with everythingand Smike, whomadethegardenaperfectwondertolookuponandNicholas,whohelpedandencouraged them every oneall the peace and cheerfulness of home restored,with such new zest imparted to every frugal pleasure, and such delight toeveryhourofmeeting,asmisfortuneandseparationalonecouldgive!

Inshort, thepoorNicklebysweresocialandhappy;while the richNicklebywasaloneandmiserable.

CHAPTER36

Private and confidential; relating to Family Matters. Showing how MrKenwigsunderwentviolentAgitation,andhowMrsKenwigswasaswellascouldbeexpected

Itmighthavebeenseveno'clock in theevening,and itwasgrowingdark inthenarrowstreetsnearGoldenSquare,whenMrKenwigssentoutforapairof the cheapest white kid glovesthose at fourteenpenceand selecting thestrongest,whichhappenedtobetherighthandone,walkeddownstairswithanair of pompandmuch excitement, andproceeded tomuffle theknobof thestreetdoor knocker therein. Having executed this task with great nicety,MrKenwigspulledthedoorto,afterhim,andjuststeppedacrosstheroadtotrythe effect from the opposite side of the street. Satisfied that nothing couldpossibly look better in its way, Mr Kenwigs then stepped back again, andcalling through thekeyhole toMorleena toopen thedoor, vanished into the

house,andwasseennolonger.

Now, considered as an abstract circumstance, there was no more obviouscause or reason why Mr Kenwigs should take the trouble of muffling thisparticularknocker,thantherewouldhavebeenforhismufflingtheknockerofany nobleman or gentleman resident ten miles off; because, for the greaterconvenienceofthenumerouslodgers,thestreetdooralwaysstoodwideopen,andtheknockerwasneverusedatall.Thefirstfloor,thesecondfloor,andthethirdfloor,hadeachabellofitsown.Astotheattics,nooneevercalledonthem;ifanybodywantedtheparlours,theywerecloseathand,andallhehadtodowastowalkstraightintothem;whilethekitchenhadaseparateentrancedowntheareasteps.Asaquestionofmerenecessityandusefulness,therefore,thismufflingoftheknockerwasthoroughlyincomprehensible.

But knockers may be muffled for other purposes than those of mereutilitarianism,as,inthepresentinstance,wasclearlyshown.Therearecertainpolite forms and ceremonies which must be observed in civilised life, ormankind relapse into their original barbarism.Nogenteel ladywas ever yetconfinedindeed, no genteel confinement can possibly take placewithout theaccompanyingsymbolofamuffledknocker.MrsKenwigswasaladyofsomepretensions to gentility; Mrs Kenwigs was confined. And, therefore, MrKenwigstiedupthesilentknockeronthepremisesinawhitekidglove.

'I'mnotquitecertainneither,'saidMrKenwigs,arranginghisshirtcollar,andwalkingslowlyupstairs,'whether,asit'saboy,Iwon'thaveitinthepapers.'

Ponderingupontheadvisabilityofthisstep,andthesensationitwaslikelytocreate in theneighbourhood,MrKenwigsbetookhimself to thesittingroom,wherevariousextremelydiminutivearticlesofclothingwereairingonahorsebeforethefire,andMrLumbey,thedoctor,wasdandlingthebabythatis,theoldbabynotthenewone.

'It'safineboy,MrKenwigs,'saidMrLumbey,thedoctor.

'Youconsiderhimafineboy,doyou,sir?'returnedMrKenwigs.

'It'sthefinestboyIeversawinallmylife,'saidthedoctor.'Ineversawsuchababy.'

Itisapleasantthingtoreflectupon,andfurnishesacompleteanswertothosewho contend for the gradual degeneration of the human species, that everybabybornintotheworldisafineronethanthelast.

'Ineversawsuchababy,'saidMrLumbey,thedoctor.

'Morleenawasa finebaby,' remarkedMrKenwigs; as if thiswere rather anattack,byimplication,uponthefamily.

'Theywereallfinebabies,'saidMrLumbey.AndMrLumbeywentonnursingthebabywithathoughtfullook.Whetherhewasconsideringunderwhatheadhecouldbestchargethenursinginthebill,wasbestknowntohimself.

Duringthisshortconversation,MissMorleena,astheeldestofthefamily,andnatural representative of her mother during her indisposition, had beenhustling and slapping the three younger Miss Kenwigses, withoutintermission;whichconsiderateandaffectionateconductbroughttearsintotheeyes ofMr Kenwigs, and caused him to declare that, in understanding andbehaviour,thatchildwasawoman.

'She will be a treasure to the man she marries, sir,' saidMr Kenwigs, halfaside;'Ithinkshe'llmarryaboveherstation,MrLumbey.'

'Ishouldn'twonderatall,'repliedthedoctor.

'Youneverseeherdance,sir,didyou?'askedMrKenwigs.

Thedoctorshookhishead.

'Ay!'saidMrKenwigs,asthoughhepitiedhimfromhisheart,'thenyoudon'tknowwhatshe'scapableof.'

Allthistimetherehadbeenagreatwhiskinginandoutoftheotherroom;thedoorhadbeenopenedandshutverysoftlyabouttwentytimesaminute(foritwasnecessarytokeepMrsKenwigsquiet);andthebabyhadbeenexhibitedtoascoreor twoofdeputationsfromaselectbodyoffemalefriends,whohadassembledinthepassage,andaboutthestreetdoor,todiscusstheeventinallitsbearings.Indeed,theexcitementextendeditselfoverthewholestreet,andgroupsofladiesmightbeseenstandingatthedoors,(someintheinterestingcondition inwhichMrsKenwigs had last appeared in public,) relating theirexperiences of similar occurrences. Some few acquired great credit fromhavingprophesied, thedaybeforeyesterday,exactlywhen itwouldcome topass;others,again, related,how that theyguessedwhat itwas,directly theysawMrKenwigsturnpaleandrunupthestreetashardaseverhecouldgo.Somesaidonething,andsomeanother;butalltalkedtogether,andallagreedupontwopoints:first,thatitwasverymeritoriousandhighlypraiseworthyinMrsKenwigstodoasshehaddone:andsecondly,thatthereneverwassuchaskilfulandscientificdoctorasthatDrLumbey.

Inthemidstof thisgeneralhubbub,DrLumbeysat in thefirstfloorfront,asbeforerelated,nursingthedeposedbaby,andtalkingtoMrKenwigs.Hewasastoutblufflookinggentleman,withnoshirtcollartospeakof,andabeardthathadbeengrowingsinceyesterdaymorning;forDrLumbeywaspopular,andtheneighbourhoodwasprolific; and there hadbeenno less than threeotherknockersmuffled,oneaftertheotherwithinthelastfortyeighthours.

'Well,MrKenwigs,'saidDrLumbey,'thismakessix.You'llhaveafinefamilyintime,sir.'

'Ithinksixisalmostenough,sir,'returnedMrKenwigs.

'Pooh!pooh!'saidthedoctor.'Nonsense!nothalfenough.'

With this, thedoctor laughed;buthedidn't laughhalfasmuchasamarriedfriend of Mrs Kenwigs's, who had just come in from the sick chamber toreportprogress,and takeasmallsipofbrandyandwater:andwhoseemed toconsideritoneofthebestjokeseverlauncheduponsociety.

'They're not altogether dependent upon good fortune, neither,' said MrKenwigs,takinghisseconddaughteronhisknee;'theyhaveexpectations.'

'Oh,indeed!'saidMrLumbey,thedoctor.

'Andverygoodonestoo,Ibelieve,haven'tthey?'askedthemarriedlady.

'Why,ma'am,'saidMrKenwigs,'it'snotexactlyformetosaywhattheymaybe,orwhattheymaynotbe.It'snotformetoboastofanyfamilywithwhichIhavethehonourtobeconnected;atthesametime,MrsKenwigs'sisIshouldsay,' saidMrKenwigs, abruptly, and raisinghis voice as he spoke, 'thatmychildren might come into a matter of a hundred pound apiece, perhaps.Perhapsmore,butcertainlythat.'

'Andaveryprettylittlefortune,'saidthemarriedlady.

'TherearesomerelationsofMrsKenwigs's,'saidMrKenwigs,takingapinchofsnufffromthedoctor'sbox,andthensneezingveryhard,forhewasn'tusedtoit,'thatmightleavetheirhundredpoundapiecetotenpeople,andyetnotgobeggingwhentheyhaddoneit.'

'Ah!Iknowwhoyoumean,'observedthemarriedlady,noddingherhead.

'Imadementionofnonames,andIwishtomakementionofnonames,'saidMrKenwigs,withaportentouslook.'ManyofmyfriendshavemetarelationofMrsKenwigs's in this very room, as would do honour to any company;that'sall.'

'I'vemethim,'saidthemarriedlady,withaglancetowardsDrLumbey.

'It'snaterallyverygratifyingtomyfeelingsasafather, toseesuchamanasthat, a kissing and taking notice ofmy children,' pursuedMrKenwigs. 'It'snaterallyverygratifyingtomyfeelingsasaman,toknowthatman.Itwillbenaterally very gratifying to my feelings as a husband, to make that manacquaintedwiththisewent.'

Havingdeliveredhissentimentsinthisformofwords,MrKenwigsarranged

hisseconddaughter'sflaxentail,andbadeherbeagoodgirlandmindwhathersister,Morleena,said.

'Thatgirlgrowsmorelikehermothereveryday,'saidMrLumbey,suddenlystrickenwithanenthusiasticadmirationofMorleena.

'There!'rejoinedthemarriedlady.'WhatIalwayssay;whatIalwaysdidsay!She'stheverypicterofher.'Havingthusdirectedthegeneralattentiontotheyoungladyinquestion, themarried ladyembracedtheopportunityof takinganothersipofthebrandyandwaterandaprettylongsiptoo.

'Yes!thereisalikeness,'saidMrKenwigs,aftersomereflection. 'ButsuchawomanasMrsKenwigswas,afore shewasmarried!Goodgracious, suchawoman!'

MrLumbeyshookhisheadwithgreatsolemnity,as thoughto imply thathesupposedshemusthavebeenratheradazzler.

'Talkof fairies!'criedMrKenwigs 'Ineverseeanybodyso light tobealive,never.Suchmanners too; soplayful,andyet sosewerelyproper!As forherfigure!Itisn'tgenerallyknown,'saidMrKenwigs,droppinghisvoice;'butherfigure was such, at that time, that the sign of the Britannia, over in theHollowayRoad,waspaintedfromit!'

'Butonlyseewhatitisnow,'urgedthemarriedlady.'DoesSHElooklikethemotherofsix?'

'Quiteridiculous,'criedthedoctor.

'Shelooksadealmorelikeherowndaughter,'saidthemarriedlady.

'Soshedoes,'assentedMrLumbey.'Agreatdealmore.'

MrKenwigswasabouttomakesomefurtherobservations,mostprobablyinconfirmationofthisopinion,whenanothermarriedlady,whohadlookedintokeepupMrsKenwigs'sspirits,andhelptoclearoffanythingintheeatinganddrinkingwaythatmightbegoingabout,putinherheadtoannouncethatshehadjustbeendowntoanswerthebell,andthattherewasagentlemanatthedoorwhowantedtoseeMrKenwigs'mostparticular.'

Shadowyvisionsofhisdistinguishedrelationflitted throughthebrainofMrKenwigs, as this message was delivered; and under their influence, hedispatchedMorleenatoshowthegentlemanupstraightway.

'Why,Idodeclare,'saidMrKenwigs,standingoppositethedoorsoastogettheearliestglimpseofthevisitor,ashecameupstairs, 'it'sMrJohnson!Howdoyoufindyourself,sir?'

Nicholasshookhands,kissedhisoldpupilsallround,intrustedalargeparceloftoystotheguardianshipofMorleena,bowedtothedoctorandthemarriedladies,andinquiredafterMrsKenwigsinatoneofinterest,whichwenttotheveryheartandsoulofthenurse,whohadcomeintowarmsomemysteriouscompound,inalittlesaucepanoverthefire.

'Ioughttomakeahundredapologiestoyouforcallingatsuchaseason,'saidNicholas,'butIwasnotawareofituntilIhadrungthebell,andmytimeissofullyoccupiednow,thatIfeareditmightbesomedaysbeforeIcouldpossiblycomeagain.'

'No time like the present, sir,' said Mr Kenwigs. 'The sitiwation of MrsKenwigs, sir, is no obstacle to a little conversation between you andme, Ihope?'

'Youareverygood,'saidNicholas.

At this juncture, proclamation was made by another married lady, that thebaby had begun to eat like anything; whereupon the two married ladies,alreadymentioned,rushedtumultuouslyintothebedroomtobeholdhimintheact.

'The fact is,' resumedNicholas, 'that before I left the country,where I havebeenforsometimepast,Iundertooktodeliveramessagetoyou.'

'Ay,ay?'saidMrKenwigs.

'And I have been,' addedNicholas, 'already in town for some days,withouthavinghadanopportunityofdoingso.'

'It'snomatter,sir,'saidMrKenwigs.'Idaresayit'snonetheworseforkeepingcold.Messagefromthecountry!'saidMrKenwigs,ruminating;'that'scurious.Idon'tknowanybodyinthecountry.'

'MissPetowker,'suggestedNicholas.

'Oh!fromher,isit?'saidMrKenwigs.'Ohdear,yes.Ah!MrsKenwigswillbeglad tohear fromher.HenriettaPetowker, eh?Howodd thingscomeabout,now!Thatyoushouldhavemetherinthecountry!Well!'

Hearing this mention of their old friend's name, the four Miss KenwigsesgatheredroundNicholas,openeyedandmouthed,tohearmore.MrKenwigslookedalittlecurioustoo,butquitecomfortableandunsuspecting.

'Themessagerelatestofamilymatters,'saidNicholas,hesitating.

'Oh,nevermind,'saidKenwigs,glancingatMrLumbey,who,havingrashlytakenchargeof littleLillyvick, foundnobodydisposed to relievehimofhis

preciousburden.'Allfriendshere.'

Nicholas hemmed once or twice, and seemed to have some difficulty inproceeding.

'AtPortsmouth,HenriettaPetowkeris,'observedMrKenwigs.

'Yes,'saidNicholas,'MrLillyvickisthere.'

Mr Kenwigs turned pale, but he recovered, and said, THAT was an oddcoincidencealso.

'Themessageisfromhim,'saidNicholas.

MrKenwigsappearedtorevive.Heknewthathisniecewasinadelicatestate,andhad,nodoubt, sentword that theywere to forward fullparticulars.Yes.Thatwasverykindofhim;solikehimtoo!

'Hedesiredmetogivehiskindestlove,'saidNicholas.

'Verymuch obliged to him, I'm sure.Your greatuncle, Lillyvick,my dears!'interposedMrKenwigs,condescendinglyexplainingittothechildren.

'Hiskindestlove,'resumedNicholas;'andtosaythathehadnotimetowrite,butthathewasmarriedtoMissPetowker.'

Mr Kenwigs started from his seat with a petrified stare, caught his seconddaughterbyherflaxentail,andcoveredhisfacewithhispockethandkerchief.Morleena fell, all stiff and rigid, into the baby's chair, as she had seen hermother fall when she fainted away, and the two remaining littleKenwigsesshriekedinaffright.

'Mychildren,mydefrauded,swindledinfants!'criedMrKenwigs,pullingsohard,inhisvehemence,attheflaxentailofhisseconddaughter,thatheliftedherupontiptoe,andkepther,forsomeseconds,inthatattitude.'Villain,ass,traitor!'

'Drattheman!'criedthenurse,lookingangrilyaround.'Whatdoeshemeanbymakingthatnoisehere?'

'Silence,woman!'saidMrKenwigs,fiercely.

'Iwon'tbesilent,'returnedthenurse.'Besilentyourself,youwretch.Haveyounoregardforyourbaby?'

'No!'returnedMrKenwigs.

'Moreshameforyou,'retortedthenurse.'Ugh!youunnaturalmonster.'

'Lethimdie,'criedMrKenwigs,inthetorrentofhiswrath. 'Lethimdie!He

hasnoexpectations,nopropertytocomeinto.Wewantnobabieshere,'saidMrKenwigsrecklessly.'Take'emaway,take'emawaytotheFondling!'

Withtheseawfulremarks,MrKenwigssathimselfdowninachair,anddefiedthenurse,whomadethebestofherwayintotheadjoiningroom,andreturnedwithastreamofmatrons:declaringthatMrKenwigshadspokenblasphemyagainsthisfamily,andmustberavingmad.

Appearanceswere certainly not inMrKenwigs's favour, for the exertion ofspeakingwithsomuchvehemence,andyet insucha toneasshouldpreventhislamentationsreachingtheearsofMrsKenwigs,hadmadehimveryblackin the face;besideswhich, theexcitementof theoccasion,andanunwontedindulgence invariousstrongcordials tocelebrate it,hadswollenanddilatedhis features to amost unusual extent.But,Nicholas and the doctorwho hadbeen passive at first, doubting verymuchwhetherMrKenwigs could be inearnestinterfering to explain the immediate cause of his condition, theindignationofthematronswaschangedtopity,andtheyimploredhim,withmuchfeeling,togoquietlytobed.

'The attention,' said Mr Kenwigs, looking around with a plaintive air, 'theattentionthatI'veshowntothatman!Thehysetershehaseat,andthepintsofalehehasdrank,inthishouse!'

'It's very trying, and very hard to bear, we know,' said one of the marriedladies;'butthinkofyourdeardarlingwife.'

'Oh yes, and what she's been a undergoing of, only this day,' cried a greatmanyvoices.'There'sagoodman,do.'

'Thepresentsthathavebeenmadetohim,'saidMrKenwigs,revertingtohiscalamity, 'the pipes, the snuffboxesa pair of indiarubber goloshes, that costsixandsix'

'Ah!itwon'tbearthinkingof,indeed,'criedthematronsgenerally;'butit'llallcomehometohim,neverfear.'

MrKenwigslookeddarklyupontheladies,asifhewouldpreferitsallcominghometoHIM,as therewasnothing tobegotby it;buthesaidnothing,andrestinghisheaduponhishand,subsidedintoakindofdoze.

Then, the matrons again expatiated on the expediency of taking the goodgentlemantobed;observingthathewouldbebettertomorrow,andthattheyknewwhatwasthewearandtearofsomemen'smindswhentheirwivesweretakenasMrsKenwigshadbeenthatday,andthatitdidhimgreatcredit,andtherewasnothingtobeashamedofinit;farfromit;theylikedtoseeit,theydid,foritshowedagoodheart.Andoneladyobserved,asacasebearingupon

the present, that her husband was often quite lightheaded from anxiety onsimilar occasions, and that once, when her little Johnny was born, it wasnearly aweek before he came to himself again, during thewhole ofwhichtimehedidnothingbutcry'Isitaboy,isitaboy?'inamannerwhichwenttotheheartsofallhishearers.

At length,Morleena (whoquite forgot she had fainted,when she found shewasnotnoticed)announcedthatachamberwasreadyforherafflictedparent;and Mr Kenwigs, having partially smothered his four daughters in thecloseness of his embrace, accepted the doctor's arm on one side, and thesupport ofNicholas on the other, andwas conducted upstairs to a bedroomwhichbeensecuredfortheoccasion.

Having seenhimsoundasleep, andheardhimsnoremost satisfactorily, andhaving further presided over the distribution of the toys, to the perfectcontentmentofallthelittleKenwigses,Nicholastookhisleave.Thematronsdroppedoffonebyone,with theexceptionofsixoreightparticularfriends,who had determined to stop all night; the lights in the houses graduallydisappeared; the last bulletin was issued that Mrs Kenwigs was as well ascouldbeexpected;andthewholefamilywerelefttotheirrepose.

CHAPTER37

Nicholas finds furtherFavour in theEyesof thebrothersCheeryble andMrTimothy Linkinwater. The brothers give a Banquet on a great AnnualOccasion. Nicholas, on returning Home from it, receives a mysterious andimportantDisclosurefromtheLipsofMrsNickleby

ThesquareinwhichthecountinghouseofthebrothersCheeryblewassituated,although itmight notwholly realise thevery sanguine expectationswhich astranger would be disposed to form on hearing the fervent encomiumsbestowed upon it by Tim Linkinwater, was, nevertheless, a sufficientlydesirable nook in the heart of a busy town like London, and one whichoccupied a high place in the affectionate remembrances of several gravepersonsdomiciledintheneighbourhood,whoserecollections,however,datedfromamuchmore recent period, andwhose attachment to the spotwas farlessabsorbing,thanweretherecollectionsandattachmentoftheenthusiasticTim.

Andletnotthosewhoseeyeshavebeenaccustomedtothearistocraticgravityof Grosvenor Square and Hanover Square, the dowager barrenness and

frigidityofFitzroySquare,orthegravelwalksandgardenseatsoftheSquaresofRussellandEuston,supposethattheaffectionsofTimLinkinwater,ortheinferiorloversofthisparticularlocality,hadbeenawakenedandkeptalivebyanyrefreshingassociationswithleaves,howeverdingy,orgrass,howeverbareand thin.Thecitysquarehasnoenclosure,save the lamppost in themiddle:and no grass, but the weeds which spring up round its base. It is a quiet,littlefrequented,retiredspot,favourabletomelancholyandcontemplation,andappointmentsof longwaiting; andupanddown its every side theAppointedsauntersidlybythehourtogetherwakeningtheechoeswiththemonotonoussound of his footsteps on the smooth worn stones, and counting, first thewindows,andthentheverybricksofthetallsilenthousesthathemhimroundabout.Inwintertime,thesnowwilllingerthere,longafterithasmeltedfromthebusystreetsandhighways.Thesummer'ssunholdsitinsomerespect,andwhilehedartshischeerfulrayssparinglyintothesquare,keepshisfieryheatand glare for noisier and lessimposing precincts. It is so quiet, that you canalmost hear the ticking of your own watch when you stop to cool in itsrefreshingatmosphere.Thereisadistanthumofcoaches,notofinsectsbutnoother sound disturbs the stillness of the square. The ticket porter leans idlyagainstthepostatthecorner:comfortablywarm,butnothot,althoughthedayis broiling. His white apron flaps languidly in the air, his head graduallydroopsuponhisbreast,hetakesverylongwinkswithbotheyesatonce;evenheisunabletowithstandthesoporificinfluenceoftheplace,andisgraduallyfallingasleep.Butnow,hestarts intofullwakefulness,recoilsastepor two,andgazesoutbeforehimwitheagerwildnessinhiseye.Isitajob,oraboyatmarbles?Does he see a ghost, or hear an organ?No; sightmore unwontedstillthere isabutterfly in thesquareareal, livebutterfly!astrayfromflowersandsweets,andflutteringamongtheironheadsofthedustyarearailings.

But if there were not many matters immediately without the doors ofCheeryble Brothers, to engage the attention or distract the thoughts of theyoung clerk, therewere not a fewwithin, to interest and amuse him.Therewas scarcely an object in the place, animate or inanimate, which did notpartake in some degree of the scrupulous method and punctuality of MrTimothy Linkinwater. Punctual as the countinghouse dial, which hemaintainedtobethebesttimekeeperinLondonnextaftertheclockofsomeold, hidden, unknown church hard by, (forTimheld the fabled goodness ofthat at the Horse Guards to be a pleasant fiction, invented by jealousWestenders,) the old clerk performed the minutest actions of the day, andarrangedtheminutestarticlesinthelittleroom,inapreciseandregularorder,whichcouldnothavebeenexceededifithadactuallybeenarealglasscase,fittedwiththechoicestcuriosities.Paper,pens,ink,ruler,sealingwax,wafers,pouncebox, stringbox, firebox, Tim's hat, Tim's scrupulouslyfolded gloves,Tim's other coatlooking precisely like a back view of himself as it hung

against the wallall had their accustomed inches of space. Except the clock,therewasnotsuchanaccurateandunimpeachableinstrumentinexistenceasthe little thermometerwhich hung behind the door.Therewas not a bird ofsuch methodical and businesslike habits in all the world, as the blindblackbird,whodreamedanddozed awayhis days in a large snug cage, andhadlosthisvoice,fromoldage,yearsbeforeTimfirstboughthim.Therewasnot suchaneventful story in thewhole rangeofanecdote,asTimcould tellconcerningtheacquisitionofthatverybird;how,compassionatinghisstarvedand suffering condition, he had purchased him, with the view of humanelyterminatinghiswretched life;howhedetermined towait threedaysandseewhether the bird revived; how, before half the time was out, the bird didrevive; and how hewent on reviving and picking up his appetite and goodlooksuntilhegraduallybecamewhat'whatyou seehimnow, sir,'Timwouldsay,glancingproudlyatthecage.Andwiththat,Timwouldutteramelodiouschirrup,andcry'Dick;'andDick,who,foranysignoflifehehadpreviouslygiven, might have been a wooden or stuffed representation of a blackbirdindifferently executed, would come to the side of the cage in three smalljumps,and,thrustinghisbillbetweenthebars,turnhissightlessheadtowardshisoldmasterandatthatmomentitwouldbeverydifficulttodeterminewhichofthetwowasthehappier,thebirdorTimLinkinwater.

Norwasthisall.Everythinggaveback,besides,somereflectionofthekindlyspiritof thebrothers.Thewarehousemenandportersweresuchsturdy, jollyfellows, that itwasa treat to see them.Among the shippingannouncementsand steampacket listswhichdecorated thecountinghousewall,weredesignsfor almshouses, statements of charities, and plans for new hospitals. Ablunderbuss and two swordshung above the chimneypiece, for the terror ofevildoers, but theblunderbusswas rusty and shattered, and the swordswerebrokenandedgeless.Elsewhere,theiropendisplayinsuchaconditionwouldhave realised a smile; but, there, it seemed as though even violent andoffensiveweaponspartookofthereigninginfluence,andbecameemblemsofmercyandforbearance.

Such thoughts as these occurred to Nicholas very strongly, on themorningwhenhefirsttookpossessionofthevacantstool,andlookedabouthim,morefreely and at ease, than he had before enjoyed an opportunity of doing.Perhapstheyencouragedandstimulatedhimtoexertion,for,duringthenexttwoweeks, all his spare hours, late at night and early in themorning,wereincessantlydevotedtoacquiringthemysteriesofbookkeepingandsomeotherformsofmercantileaccount.Tothese,heappliedhimselfwithsuchsteadinessand perseverance that, although he brought no greater amount of previousknowledge to thesubject thancertaindimrecollectionsof twoor threeverylong sums entered into a cipheringbook at school, and relieved for parental

inspection by the effigy of a fat swan tastefully flourished by thewritingmaster's own hand, he found himself, at the end of a fortnight, in aconditiontoreporthisproficiencytoMrLinkinwater,andtoclaimhispromisethathe,NicholasNickleby,shouldnowbeallowedtoassisthiminhisgraverlabours.

Itwas a sight tobeholdTimLinkinwater slowlybringout amassive ledgeranddaybook,and,afterturningthemoverandover,andaffectionatelydustingtheirbacksandsides,open the leaveshereand there,andcasthiseyes,halfmournfully,halfproudly,uponthefairandunblottedentries.

'Fourandforty year, next May!' said Tim. 'Many new ledgers since then.Fourandfortyyear!'

Timclosedthebookagain.

'Come,come,'saidNicholas,'Iamallimpatiencetobegin.'

TimLinkinwatershookhisheadwithanairofmildreproof.MrNicklebywasnotsufficientlyimpressedwiththedeepandawfulnatureofhisundertaking.Supposethereshouldbeanymistakeanyscratchingout!

Young men are adventurous. It is extraordinary what they will rush upon,sometimes.Withouteventaking theprecautionofsittinghimselfdownuponhis stool, but standing leisurely at the desk, and with a smile upon hisfaceactually a smilethere was no mistake about it; Mr Linkinwater oftenmentioneditafterwardsNicholasdippedhispenintotheinkstandbeforehim,andplungedintothebooksofCheerybleBrothers!

TimLinkinwater turnedpale,and tiltinguphisstoolon the twolegsnearestNicholas,lookedoverhisshoulderinbreathlessanxiety.BrotherCharlesandbrotherNedenteredthecountinghousetogether;butTimLinkinwater,withoutlookinground,impatientlywavedhishandasacautionthatprofoundsilencemustbeobserved,andfollowedtheniboftheinexperiencedpenwithstrainedandeagereyes.

Thebrothers lookedonwith smiling faces,butTimLinkinwater smilednot,normovedforsomeminutes.Atlength,hedrewalongslowbreath,andstillmaintaininghispositiononthetiltedstool,glancedatbrotherCharles,secretlypointedwiththefeatherofhispentowardsNicholas,andnoddedhisheadinagraveandresolutemanner,plainlysignifying'He'lldo.'

Brother Charles nodded again, and exchanged a laughing lookwith brotherNed; but, just then,Nicholas stopped to refer to some other page, and TimLinkinwater,unabletocontainhissatisfactionanylonger,descendedfromhisstool,andcaughthimrapturouslybythehand.

'He has done it!' said Tim, looking round at his employers and shaking hisheadtriumphantly.'HiscapitalB'sandD'sareexactlylikemine;hedotsallhissmall i'sandcrossesevery tashewrites it.Therean't suchayoungmanasthis inallLondon,' saidTim,clappingNicholason theback; 'notone.Don'ttellme!Thecitycan'tproducehisequal.Ichallengethecitytodoit!'

Withthiscastingdownofhisgauntlet,TimLinkinwaterstruckthedesksuchablowwithhisclenchedfist,thattheoldblackbirdtumbledoffhisperchwiththestartitgavehim,andactuallyutteredafeeblecroak,intheextremityofhisastonishment.

'Wellsaid,Timwellsaid,TimLinkinwater!'criedbrotherCharles,scarcelylesspleasedthanTimhimself,andclappinghishandsgentlyashespoke.'Iknewour young friendwould take great pains, and I was quite certain he wouldsucceed,innotime.Didn'tIsayso,brotherNed?'

'You did,my dear brother; certainly,my dear brother, you said so, and youwerequiteright,'repliedNed.'Quiteright.TimLinkinwaterisexcited,butheis justly excited, properly excited. Tim is a fine fellow. Tim Linkinwater,siryou'reafinefellow.'

'Here'sapleasantthingtothinkof!'saidTim,whollyregardlessofthisaddresstohimself,andraisinghisspectaclesfromtheledgertothebrothers.'Here'sapleasantthing.DoyousupposeIhaven'toftenthoughtofwhatwouldbecomeofthesebookswhenIwasgone?DoyousupposeIhaven'toftenthoughtthatthings might go on irregular and untidy here, after I was taken away? Butnow,' said Tim, extending his forefinger towards Nicholas, 'now, when I'veshownhimalittlemore,I'msatisfied.Thebusinesswillgoon,whenI'mdead,aswellasitdidwhenIwasalivejustthesameandIshallhavethesatisfactionofknowingthatthereneverweresuchbooksneverweresuchbooks!No,norneverwillbesuchbooksasthebooksofCheerybleBrothers.'

Having thus expressed his sentiments,Mr Linkinwater gave vent to a shortlaugh, indicative of defiance to the cities of London andWestminster, and,turningagain tohisdesk,quietlycarriedseventysix fromthe lastcolumnhehadaddedup,andwentonwithhiswork.

'TimLinkinwater, sir,' said brotherCharles; 'giveme your hand, sir. This isyour birthday. How dare you talk about anything else till you have beenwishedmanyhappyreturnsoftheday,TimLinkinwater?Godblessyou,Tim!Godblessyou!'

'My dear brother,' said the other, seizing Tim's disengaged fist, 'TimLinkinwaterlookstenyearsyoungerthanhedidonhislastbirthday.'

'BrotherNed,mydearboy,'returnedtheotheroldfellow, 'IbelievethatTimLinkinwaterwasbornahundredandfiftyyearsold,andisgraduallycomingdowntofiveandtwenty;forhe'syoungereverybirthdaythanhewastheyearbefore.'

'Soheis,brotherCharles,soheis,'repliedbrotherNed. 'There'snotadoubtaboutit.'

'Remember, Tim,' said brother Charles, 'that we dine at halfpast five todayinstead of two o'clock; we always depart from our usual custom on thisanniversary,asyouverywellknow,TimLinkinwater.MrNickleby,mydearsir, you will make one. Tim Linkinwater, give me your snuffbox as aremembrancetobrotherCharlesandmyselfofanattachedandfaithfulrascal,and take that, in exchange, as a feeblemarkof our respect and esteem, anddon'topenituntilyougotobed,andneversayanotherworduponthesubject,orI'llkilltheblackbird.Adog!Heshouldhavehadagoldencagehalfadozenyears ago, if itwould havemade him or hismaster a bit the happier.Now,brother Ned, my dear fellow, I'm ready. At halfpast five, remember, MrNickleby! Tim Linkinwater, sir, take care of Mr Nickleby at halfpast five.Now,brotherNed.'

Chatteringaway thus, according to custom, toprevent thepossibilityof anythanksoracknowledgmentbeingexpressedontheotherside,thetwinstrottedoff,arminarm;havingendowedTimLinkinwaterwithacostlygoldsnuffbox,enclosingabanknoteworthmorethanitsvaluetentimestold.

At a quarter past five o'clock, punctual to theminute, arrived, according toannual usage,TimLinkinwater's sister; and agreat todo therewas, betweenTim Linkinwater's sister and the old housekeeper, respecting TimLinkinwater'ssister'scap,whichhadbeendispatched,perboy,fromthehouseofthefamilywhereTimLinkinwater'ssisterboarded,andhadnotyetcometohand: notwithstanding that it had been packed up in a bandbox, and thebandboxinahandkerchief,andthehandkerchieftiedontotheboy'sarm;andnotwithstanding,too,thattheplaceofitsconsignmenthadbeendulysetforth,atfulllength,onthebackofanoldletter,andtheboyenjoined,underpainofdivers horrible penalties, the full extent ofwhich the eye ofman could notforesee, todeliver the samewith all possible speed, andnot to loiter by theway.TimLinkinwater's sister lamented; thehousekeepercondoled;andbothkeptthrustingtheirheadsoutofthesecondfloorwindowtoseeiftheboywas'coming'which would have been highly satisfactory, and, upon the whole,tantamounttohisbeingcome,asthedistancetothecornerwasnotquitefiveyardswhen,allofasudden,andwhenhewas leastexpected, themessenger,carryingthebandboxwithelaboratecaution,appearedinanexactlyoppositedirection,puffingandpantingforbreath,andflushedwithrecentexercise;as

well he might be; for he had taken the air, in the first instance, behind ahackney coach that went to Camberwell, and had followed two Punchesafterwards and had seen theStilts home to their owndoor.The capwas allsafe, howeverthat was one comfortand it was no use scolding himthat wasanother;sotheboywentuponhiswayrejoicing,andTimLinkinwater'ssisterpresented herself to the company belowstairs, just five minutes after thehalfhourhadstruckbyTimLinkinwater'sowninfallibleclock.

The company consisted of the brothers Cheeryble, Tim Linkinwater, aruddyfaced whiteheaded friend of Tim's (who was a superannuated bankclerk), and Nicholas, who was presented to Tim Linkinwater's sister withmuch gravity and solemnity. The party being now completed, brother Nedrang for dinner, and, dinner being shortly afterwards announced, led TimLinkinwater's sister into the next room, where it was set forth with greatpreparation.Then,brotherNedtooktheheadofthetable,andbrotherCharlesthefoot;andTimLinkinwater'ssistersatonthelefthandofbrotherNed,andTim Linkinwater himself on his right: and an ancient butler of apoplecticappearance, and with very short legs, took up his position at the back ofbrotherNed'sarmchair,and,wavinghisrightarmpreparatorytotakingoffthecoverswithaflourish,stoodboltuprightandmotionless.

'Fortheseandallotherblessings,brotherCharles,'saidNed.

'Lord,makeustrulythankful,brotherNed,'saidCharles.

Whereupontheapoplecticbutlerwhiskedoff the topof thesouptureen,andshot,allatonce,intoastateofviolentactivity.

Therewasabundanceofconversation,andlittle fearof itseverflagging,forthe goodhumour of the glorious old twins drew everybody out, and TimLinkinwater's sister went off into a long and circumstantial account of TimLinkinwater's infancy, immediately after the very first glass ofchampagnetaking care to premise that shewas verymuchTim's junior, andhad only become acquainted with the facts from their being preserved andhandeddowninthefamily.Thishistoryconcluded,brotherNedrelatedhowthat, exactly thirtyfive years ago, Tim Linkinwater was suspected to havereceivedaloveletter,andhowthatvagueinformationhadbeenbroughttothecountinghouse of his having been seen walking down Cheapside with anuncommonly handsome spinster; atwhich therewas a roar of laughter, andTim Linkinwater being charged with blushing, and called upon to explain,denied that the accusationwas true; and further, that therewouldhavebeenanyharminitifithadbeen;whichlastpositionoccasionedthesuperannuatedbankclerktolaughtremendously,andtodeclarethatitwastheverybestthinghehadeverheardinhislife,andthatTimLinkinwatermightsayagreatmanythingsbeforehesaidanythingwhichwouldbeatTHAT.

Therewasonelittleceremonypeculiartotheday,boththematterandmannerofwhichmadeaverystrongimpressionuponNicholas.Theclothhavingbeenremoved and the decanters sent round for the first time, a profound silencesucceeded, and in the cheerful faces of the brothers there appeared anexpression, not of absolute melancholy, but of quiet thoughtfulness veryunusualata festive table.AsNicholas, struckby this suddenalteration,waswonderingwhatitcouldportend,thebrothersrosetogether,andtheoneatthetopofthetableleaningforwardtowardstheother,andspeakinginalowvoiceasifhewereaddressinghimindividually,said:

'BrotherCharles,mydearfellow,thereisanotherassociationconnectedwiththis daywhichmust neverbe forgotten, andnever canbe forgotten, byyouandme.Thisday,whichbroughtintotheworldamostfaithfulandexcellentandexemplary fellow, took from it thekindest andverybestofparents, thevery best of parents to us both. I wish that she could have seen us in ourprosperity, and shared it, and had the happiness of knowing how dearlywelovedherinit,aswedidwhenweweretwopoorboys;butthatwasnottobe.MydearbrotherTheMemoryofourMother.'

'GoodLord!' thoughtNicholas, 'and there are scores of people of their ownstation,knowingall this,andtwentythousandtimesmore,whowouldn'taskthese men to dinner because they eat with their knives and never went toschool!'

Buttherewasnotimetomoralise,forthejovialityagainbecameverybrisk,andthedecanterofportbeingnearlyout,brotherNedpulledthebell,whichwasinstantlyansweredbytheapoplecticbutler.

'David,'saidbrotherNed.

'Sir,'repliedthebutler.

'A magnum of the doublediamond, David, to drink the health of MrLinkinwater.'

Instantly,byafeatofdexterity,whichwastheadmirationofallthecompany,andhadbeen,annually,forsomeyearspast,theapoplecticbutler,bringinghisleft hand from behind the small of his back, produced the bottle with thecorkscrewalreadyinserted;uncorkeditatajerk;andplacedthemagnumandthecorkbeforehismasterwiththedignityofconsciouscleverness.

'Ha!' said brother Ned, first examining the cork and afterwards filling hisglass,whiletheoldbutlerlookedcomplacentlyandamiablyon,asifitwereallhisownproperty,butthecompanywerequitewelcometomakefreewithit,'thislookswell,David.'

'Itoughtto,sir,'repliedDavid.'You'dbetroubledtofindsuchaglassofwineasisourdoublediamond,andthatMrLinkinwaterknowsverywell.ThatwaslaiddownwhenMrLinkinwaterfirstcome:thatwinewas,gentlemen.'

'Nay,David,nay,'interposedbrotherCharles.

'Iwrotetheentryinthecellarbookmyself,sir,ifyouplease,'saidDavid,inthetoneofaman,quiteconfidentinthestrengthofhisfacts.'MrLinkinwaterhadonly been here twenty year, sir, when that pipe of doublediamondwas laiddown.'

'David is quite right, quite right, brother Charles,' saidNed: 'are the peoplehere,David?'

'Outsidethedoor,sir,'repliedthebutler.

'Show'emin,David,show'emin.'

Atthisbidding,theolderbutlerplacedbeforehismasterasmalltrayofcleanglasses, and opening the door admitted the jolly porters andwarehousemenwhomNicholashadseenbelow.Theywerefour inall,andas theycamein,bowing, and grinning, and blushing, the housekeeper, and cook, andhousemaid,broughtuptherear.

'Seven,'saidbrotherNed,fillingacorrespondingnumberofglasseswith thedoublediamond,'andDavid,eight.There!Now,you'reallofyoutodrinkthehealthofyourbestfriendMrTimothyLinkinwater,andwishhimhealthandlonglifeandmanyhappyreturnsofthisday,bothforhisownsakeandthatofyouroldmasters,whoconsiderhimaninestimabletreasure.TimLinkinwater,sir,yourhealth.Deviltakeyou,TimLinkinwater,sir,Godblessyou.'

Withthissingularcontradictionofterms,brotherNedgaveTimLinkinwateraslapontheback,whichmadehimlook,forthemoment,almostasapoplecticasthebutler:andtossedoffthecontentsofhisglassinatwinkling.

The toastwas scarcelydrunkwith all honour toTimLinkinwater,when thesturdiest and jolliest subordinate elbowed himself a little in advance of hisfellows, and exhibiting a very hot and flushed countenance, pulled a singlelock of grey hair in themiddle of his forehead as a respectful salute to thecompany,anddeliveredhimselfasfollowsrubbingthepalmsofhishandsveryhardonabluecottonhandkerchiefashedidso:

'We'reallowedtotakealibertyonceayear,gen'lemen,andifyoupleasewe'lltakeitnow;therebeingnotimelikethepresent,andnotwobirdsinthehandworthoneinthebush,asiswellknownleastwaysinacontrairysense,whichthemeaningisthesame.(Apausethebutlerunconvinced.)Whatwemeantosay is, that there neverwas (looking at the butler)such(looking at the cook)

nobleexcellent(lookingeverywhereandseeingnobody)free,generousspiritedmastersasthemashastreatedussohandsomethisday.Andhere'sthankingof'em for all their goodness as is so constancy a diffusing of itself overeverywhere,andwishingtheymaylivelonganddiehappy!'

When the foregoing speech was overand it might have been much moreelegant andmuch less to the purposethe whole body of subordinates undercommand of the apoplectic butler gave three soft cheers; which, to thatgentleman'sgreatindignation,werenotveryregular,inasmuchasthewomenpersisted in giving an immense number of little shrill hurrahs amongthemselves, inutterdisregardof the time.Thisdone, theywithdrew; shortlyafterwards,TimLinkinwater's sisterwithdrew; in reasonable time after that,thesittingwasbrokenupforteaandcoffee,andaroundgameofcards.

At halfpast tenlate hours for the squarethere appeared a little tray ofsandwiches and a bowl of bishop, which bishop coming on the top of thedoublediamond, and other excitements, had such an effect upon TimLinkinwater, that he drew Nicholas aside, and gave him to understand,confidentially,thatitwasquitetrueabouttheuncommonlyhandsomespinster,andthatshewastothefullasgoodlookingasshehadbeendescribedmoreso,indeedbut that shewas in toomuchof ahurry to changeher condition, andconsequently,whileTimwas courtingher and thinkingof changinghis, gotmarriedtosomebodyelse.'Afterall,Idaresayitwasmyfault,'saidTim.'I'llshow you a print I have got upstairs, one of these days. It cost mefiveandtwenty shillings. I bought it soon after we were cool to each other.Don'tmention it,but it's themostextraordinaryaccidental likenessyoueversawherveryportrait,sir!'

Bythistimeitwaspasteleveno'clock;andTimLinkinwater'ssisterdeclaringthat sheought tohavebeenathomea fullhour ago, a coachwasprocured,intowhichshewashandedwithgreatceremonybybrotherNed,whilebrotherCharles imparted the fullest directions to the coachman, and besides payingtheman a shilling over and above his fare, in order that hemight take theutmost care of the lady, all but choked him with a glass of spirits ofuncommonstrength,andthennearlyknockedallthebreathoutofhisbodyinhisenergeticendeavourstoknockitinagain.

Atlengththecoachrumbledoff,andTimLinkinwater'ssisterbeingnowfairlyon her way home, Nicholas and Tim Linkinwater's friend took their leavestogether,andleftoldTimandtheworthybrotherstotheirrepose.

AsNicholashadsomedistancetowalk,itwasconsiderablypastmidnightbythetimehereachedhome,wherehefoundhismotherandSmikesittinguptoreceive him. It was long after their usual hour of retiring, and they hadexpected him, at the very latest, two hours ago; but the time had not hung

heavily on their hands, for Mrs Nickleby had entertained Smike with agenealogical account of her family by the mother's side, comprisingbiographicalsketchesoftheprincipalmembers,andSmikehadsatwonderingwhat itwasall about, andwhether itwas learnt fromabook,or saidoutofMrsNickleby'sownhead;sothattheygotontogetherverypleasantly.

Nicholas could not go to bed without expatiating on the excellences andmunificence of the brothersCheeryble, and relating the great successwhichhadattendedhisefforts thatday.Butbeforehehadsaidadozenwords,MrsNickleby, with many sly winks and nods, observed, that she was sure MrSmikemustbequite tiredout, and that shepositivelymust insistonhisnotsittingupaminutelonger.

'Amostbiddablecreaturehe is, tobesure,' saidMrsNickleby,whenSmikehad wished them goodnight and left the room. 'I know you'll excuse me,Nicholas,my dear, but I don't like to do this before a third person; indeed,before a youngman it would not be quite proper, though really, after all, Idon't know what harm there is in it, except that to be sure it's not a verybecomingthing,thoughsomepeoplesayitisverymuchso,andreallyIdon'tknowwhyitshouldnotbe,ifit'swellgotup,andthebordersaresmallplaited;ofcourse,agooddealdependsuponthat.'

Withwhichpreface,MrsNicklebytookhernightcapfrombetweentheleavesofaverylargeprayerbookwhereithadbeenfoldedupsmall,andproceededtotieiton:talkingawayinherusualdiscursivemanner,allthetime.

'Peoplemay saywhat they like,' observedMrsNickleby, 'but there's a greatdeal of comfort in a nightcap, as I'm sure youwould confess,Nicholasmydear, if youwould only have strings to yours, andwear it like a Christian,insteadofstickingitupontheverytopofyourheadlikeabluecoatboy.Youneedn't think it an unmanly or quizzical thing to be particular about yournightcap, for I have often heard your poor dear papa, and theReverendMrWhat'shisname,whousedtoreadprayersinthatoldchurchwiththecuriouslittle steeple that theweathercockwas blownoff the nightweekbefore youwere born,I have often heard them say, that the young men at college areuncommonly particular about their nightcaps, and that theOxford nightcapsarequitecelebratedfortheirstrengthandgoodness;somuchso,indeed,thatthe youngmen never dream of going to bedwithout 'em, and I believe it'sadmitted on all hands that THEY know what's good, and don't coddlethemselves.'

Nicholas laughed,andenteringno further into thesubjectof this lengthenedharangue,revertedtothepleasanttoneofthelittlebirthdayparty.AndasMrsNickleby instantly became very curious respecting it, and made a greatnumberofinquiriestouchingwhattheyhadhadfordinner,andhowitwasput

ontable,andwhetheritwasoverdoneorunderdone,andwhowasthere,andwhat 'the Mr Cherrybles' said, and what Nicholas said, and what the MrCherrybles said when he said that; Nicholas described the festivities at fulllength,andalsotheoccurrencesofthemorning.

'Lateasitis,'saidNicholas,'IamalmostselfishenoughtowishthatKatehadbeenuptohearallthis.Iwasallimpatience,asIcamealong,totellher.'

'Why,Kate,'saidMrsNickleby,puttingherfeetuponthefender,anddrawingher chair close to it, as if settling herself for a long talk. 'Kate has been inbedoh!acoupleofhoursandI'mveryglad,Nicholasmydear,thatIprevaileduponhernottositup,forIwishedverymuchtohaveanopportunityofsayingafewwordstoyou.Iamnaturallyanxiousaboutit,andofcourseit'saverydelightful and consoling thing to have a grownup son that one can putconfidencein,andadvisewith;indeedIdon'tknowanyusetherewouldbeinhavingsonsatall,unlesspeoplecouldputconfidenceinthem.'

Nicholas stopped in the middle of a sleepy yawn, as his mother began tospeak:andlookedatherwithfixedattention.

'Therewasaladyinourneighbourhood,'saidMrsNickleby,'speakingofsonsputsmeinmindofitaladyinourneighbourhoodwhenwelivednearDawlish,I think her namewasRogers; indeed I am sure it was if it wasn'tMurphy,whichistheonlydoubtIhave'

'Isitabouther,mother,thatyouwishedtospeaktome?'saidNicholasquietly.

'About HER!' criedMrs Nickleby. 'Good gracious, Nicholas, my dear, howCANyoubesoridiculous!Butthatwasalwaysthewaywithyourpoordearpapa,justhiswayalwayswandering,neverabletofixhisthoughtsonanyonesubject for twominutes together. I think I seehimnow!' saidMrsNickleby,wipinghereyes, 'lookingatmewhile Iwas talking tohimabouthisaffairs,just as if his ideaswere in a stateofperfect conglomeration!Anybodywhohad come in upon us suddenly, would have supposed I was confusing anddistractinghiminsteadofmakingthingsplainer;uponmywordtheywould.'

'I am very sorry, mother, that I should inherit this unfortunate slowness ofapprehension,'saidNicholas,kindly;'butI'lldomybesttounderstandyou,ifyou'llonlygostraighton:indeedIwill.'

'Yourpoorpa!'saidMrsNickleby,pondering. 'Heneverknew,till itwastoolate,whatIwouldhavehadhimdo!'

Thiswas undoubtedly the case, inasmuch as the deceasedMrNickleby hadnotarrivedattheknowledge.Thenhedied.NeitherhadMrsNicklebyherself;whichis,insomesort,anexplanationofthecircumstance.

'However,'saidMrsNickleby,dryinghertears,'thishasnothingtodocertainlynothingwhatevertodowiththegentlemaninthenexthouse.'

'Ishouldsupposethatthegentlemaninthenexthousehasaslittletodowithus,'returnedNicholas.

'Therecanbenodoubt,'saidMrsNickleby, 'thatheISagentleman,andhasthemannersofagentleman,andtheappearanceofagentleman,althoughhedoeswearsmallsandgreyworstedstockings.Thatmaybeeccentricity,orhemaybeproudofhislegs.Idon'tseewhyheshouldn'tbe.ThePrinceRegentwasproudofhis legs,andsowasDanielLambert,whowasalsoa fatman;HE was proud of his legs. So was Miss Biffin: she wasno,' added MrsNickleby,correcting,herself,'Ithinkshehadonlytoes,buttheprincipleisthesame.'

Nicholas looked on, quite amazed at the introduction of this new theme.WhichseemedjustwhatMrsNicklebyhadexpectedhimtobe.

'Youmaywellbesurprised,Nicholas,mydear,'shesaid, 'IamsureIwas.Itcameuponmelikeaflashoffire,andalmostfrozemyblood.Thebottomofhisgardenjoinsthebottomofours,andofcourseIhadseveraltimesseenhimsitting among the scarletbeans in his little arbour, or working at his littlehotbeds.Iusedtothinkhestaredrather,butIdidn'ttakeanyparticularnoticeofthat,aswewerenewcomers,andhemightbecurioustoseewhatwewerelike.Butwhenhebegantothrowhiscucumbersoverourwall'

'To throw his cucumbers over our wall!' repeated Nicholas, in greatastonishment.

'Yes, Nicholas, my dear,' replied Mrs Nickleby in a very serious tone; 'hiscucumbersoverourwall.Andvegetablemarrowslikewise.'

'Confoundhis impudence!' saidNicholas, firing immediately. 'What does hemeanbythat?'

'Idon'tthinkhemeansitimpertinentlyatall,'repliedMrsNickleby.

'What!'saidNicholas, 'cucumbersandvegetablemarrowsflyingat theheadsofthefamilyastheywalkintheirowngarden,andnotmeantimpertinently!Why,mother'

Nicholas stopped short; for there was an indescribable expression of placidtriumph,mingledwithamodestconfusion, lingeringbetween thebordersofMrsNickleby'snightcap,whicharrestedhisattentionsuddenly.

'He must be a very weak, and foolish, and inconsiderate man,' said MrsNickleby;'blamableindeedatleastIsupposeotherpeoplewouldconsiderhim

so; of course I can't be expected to express any opinion on that point,especially after always defending your poor dear papa when other peopleblamedhimformakingproposalstome;andtobesuretherecanbenodoubtthathehastakenaverysingularwayofshowingit.Stillatthesametime,hisattentions arethat is, as far as it goes, and to a certain extent of courseaflatteringsortofthing;andalthoughIshouldneverdreamofmarryingagainwithadeargirllikeKatestillunsettledinlife'

'Surely, mother, such an idea never entered your brain for an instant?' saidNicholas.

'Blessmyheart,Nicholasmydear,'returnedhismotherinapeevishtone,'isn'tthatpreciselywhatIamsaying,ifyouwouldonlyletmespeak?Ofcourse,Inever gave it a second thought, and I am surprised and astonished that youshouldsupposemecapableofsuchathing.AllIsayis,whatstepisthebesttotake,soastorejecttheseadvancescivillyanddelicately,andwithouthurtinghis feelings toomuch, anddrivinghim todespair, or anythingof that kind?My goodnessme!' exclaimedMrsNickleby, with a halfsimper, 'suppose hewas to go doing anything rash to himself. Could I ever be happy again,Nicholas?'

Despitehisvexationandconcern,Nicholascouldscarcelyhelpsmiling,asherejoined, 'Now, do you think, mother, that such a result would be likely toensuefromthemostcruelrepulse?'

'Uponmyword,mydear,Idon'tknow,'returnedMrsNickleby;'really,Idon'tknow.Iamsuretherewasacaseinthedaybeforeyesterday'spaper,extractedfromoneoftheFrenchnewspapers,aboutajourneymanshoemakerwhowasjealous of a young girl in an adjoining village, because she wouldn't shutherself up in an airtight threepairofstairs, and charcoal herself to deathwithhim;andwhowentandhidhimselfinawoodwithasharppointedknife,andrushedout,asshewaspassingbywithafewfriends,andkilledhimselffirst,and then all the friends, and thenherno, killed all the friends first, and thenherself, and thenHIMselfwhich it isquite frightful to thinkof.Somehoworother,' added Mrs Nickleby, after a momentary pause, 'they always AREjourneyman shoemakers who do these things in France, according to thepapers.Idon'tknowhowitissomethingintheleather,Isuppose.'

'Butthisman,whoisnotashoemakerwhathashedone,mother,whathashesaid?'inquiredNicholas,frettedalmostbeyondendurance,butlookingnearlyas resigned and patient as Mrs Nickleby herself. 'You know, there is nolanguageofvegetables,whichconvertsacucumberintoaformaldeclarationofattachment.'

'Mydear,'repliedMrsNickleby,tossingherheadandlookingattheashesin

thegrate,'hehasdoneandsaidallsortsofthings.'

'Istherenomistakeonyourpart?'askedNicholas.

'Mistake!'criedMrsNickleby.'Lord,Nicholasmydear,doyousupposeIdon'tknowwhenaman'sinearnest?'

'Well,well!'mutteredNicholas.

'EverytimeIgotothewindow,'saidMrsNickleby, 'hekissesonehand,andlaystheotheruponhisheartofcourseit'sveryfoolishofhimtodoso,andIdare say you'll say it's very wrong, but he does it very respectfullyveryrespectfully indeedandvery tenderly, extremely tenderly.So far,hedeservesthe greatest credit; there can be no doubt about that. Then, there are thepresents which come pouring over the wall every day, and very fine theycertainlyare,veryfine;wehadoneofthecucumbersatdinneryesterday,andthink of pickling the rest for next winter. And last evening,' added MrsNickleby,with increasedconfusion, 'hecalledgentlyover thewall, as Iwaswalkinginthegarden,andproposedmarriage,andanelopement.Hisvoiceisas clear as a bell or a musical glassvery like a musical glass indeedbut ofcourseIdidn'tlistentoit.Then,thequestionis,Nicholasmydear,whatamItodo?'

'DoesKateknowofthis?'askedNicholas.

'Ihavenotsaidawordaboutityet,'answeredhismother.

'Then,forHeaven'ssake,'rejoinedNicholas,rising,'donot,foritwouldmakeherveryunhappy.Andwithregardtowhatyoushoulddo,mydearmother,dowhatyourgoodsenseandfeeling,andrespectformyfather'smemory,wouldprompt. There are a thousandways inwhich you can show your dislike ofthesepreposterousanddotingattentions.Ifyouactasdecidedlyasyououghtandtheyarestillcontinued,andtoyourannoyance,Icanspeedilyputastopto them. But I should not interfere in a matter so ridiculous, and attachimportancetoit,untilyouhavevindicatedyourself.Mostwomencandothat,but especially one of your age and condition, in circumstances like these,whichareunworthyofaseriousthought.Iwouldnotshameyoubyseemingtotakethemtoheart,ortreatthemearnestlyforaninstant.Absurdoldidiot!'

So saying, Nicholas kissed his mother, and bade her goodnight, and theyretiredtotheirrespectivechambers.

To do Mrs Nickleby justice, her attachment to her children would haveprevented her seriously contemplating a secondmarriage, even if she couldhave so far conquered her recollections of her late husband as to have anystrong inclinations that way. But, although there was no evil and little real

selfishnessinMrsNickleby'sheart,shehadaweakheadandavainone;andthere was something so flattering in being sought (and vainly sought) inmarriage at this time of day, that she could not dismiss the passion of theunknown gentleman quite so summarily or lightly as Nicholas appeared todeembecoming.

'As to its being preposterous, and doting, and ridiculous,' thought MrsNickleby,communingwithherselfinherownroom,'Idon'tseethat,atall.It'shopeless on his part, certainly; butwhy he should be an absurd old idiot, Iconfess I don't see. He is not to be supposed to know it's hopeless. Poorfellow!Heistobepitied,Ithink!'

Havingmadethesereflections,MrsNicklebylookedinherlittledressingglass,andwalkingbackwardafewstepsfromit,triedtorememberwhoitwaswhoused to say thatwhenNicholaswas oneandtwenty hewould havemore theappearanceofherbrotherthanherson.Notbeingabletocalltheauthoritytomind,sheextinguishedhercandle,anddrewupthewindowblindtoadmitthelightofmorning,whichhad,bythistime,beguntodawn.

'It'sabadlighttodistinguishobjectsin,'murmuredMrsNickleby,peeringintothegarden,'andmyeyesarenotverygoodIwasshortsightedfromachildbut,uponmyword,Ithinkthere'sanotherlargevegetablemarrowsticking,atthismoment,onthebrokenglassbottlesatthetopofthewall!'

CHAPTER38

ComprisescertainParticularsarisingoutofaVisitofCondolence,whichmayproveimportanthereafter.SmikeunexpectedlyencountersaveryoldFriend,whoinviteshimtohisHouse,andwilltakenoDenial

Quiteunconsciousofthedemonstrationsoftheiramorousneighbour,ortheireffectsuponthesusceptiblebosomofhermama,KateNicklebyhad,bythistime,beguntoenjoyasettledfeelingoftranquillityandhappiness,towhich,even in occasional and transitory glimpses, she had long been a stranger.Livingunderthesameroofwiththebelovedbrotherfromwhomshehadbeenso suddenly and hardly separated: with a mind at ease, and free from anypersecutionswhichcouldcallablushintohercheek,orapangintoherheart,sheseemedtohavepassedintoanewstateofbeing.Herformercheerfulnesswas restored, her step regained its elasticity and lightness, the colourwhichhadforsakenhercheekvisiteditonceagain,andKateNicklebylookedmorebeautifulthanever.

SuchwastheresulttowhichMissLaCreevy'sruminationsandobservationsledher,whenthecottagehadbeen,assheemphaticallysaid, 'thoroughlygotto rights, from thechimneypots to the streetdoor scraper,' and thebusy littlewomanhadatlengthamoment'stimetothinkaboutitsinmates.

'Which I declare I haven't had since I first came down here,' saidMiss LaCreevy; 'forIhavethoughtofnothingbuthammers,nails,screwdrivers,andgimlets,morning,noon,andnight.'

'You never bestowed one thought upon yourself, I believe,' returned Kate,smiling.

'Uponmyword,mydear,whentherearesomanypleasanterthingstothinkof,IshouldbeagooseifIdid,'saidMissLaCreevy.'Bythebye,IHAVEthoughtofsomebody too.Doyouknow, that Iobserveagreatchange inoneof thisfamilyaveryextraordinarychange?'

'Inwhom?'askedKate,anxiously.'Notin'

'Notinyourbrother,mydear,'returnedMissLaCreevy,anticipatingthecloseof the sentence, 'for he is always the same affectionate goodnatured clevercreature,withaspiceoftheIwon'tsaywhoinhimwhenthere'sanyoccasion,that hewaswhen I first knewyou.No.Smike, as heWILLbe called, poorfellow!forhewon'thearofaMRbeforehisname,isgreatlyaltered,eveninthisshorttime.'

'How?'askedKate.'Notinhealth?'

'Nno;perhapsnotinhealthexactly,'saidMissLaCreevy,pausingtoconsider,'althoughhe is aworn and feeble creature, andhas that inhis facewhich itwouldwringmyhearttoseeinyours.No;notinhealth.'

'Howthen?'

'Iscarcelyknow,'saidtheminiaturepainter. 'ButIhavewatchedhim,andhehasbroughtthetearsintomyeyesmanytimes.Itisnotaverydifficultmattertodothat,certainly,forIameasilymelted;stillIthinkthesecamewithgoodcauseandreason.Iamsurethatsincehehasbeenhere,hehasgrown,fromsomestrongcause,moreconsciousofhisweakintellect.Hefeels itmore.Itgives him greater pain to know that he wanders sometimes, and cannotunderstandverysimple things. Ihavewatchedhimwhenyouhavenotbeenby, my dear, sit brooding by himself, with such a look of pain as I couldscarcelybeartosee,andthengetupandleavetheroom:sosorrowfully,andinsuchdejection,thatIcannottellyouhowithashurtme.Notthreeweeksago,hewasalightheartedbusycreature,overjoyedtobeinabustle,andashappyas the day was long. Now, he is another beingthe same willing, harmless,

faithful,lovingcreaturebutthesameinnothingelse.'

'Surelythiswillallpassoff,'saidKate.'Poorfellow!'

'Ihope,'returnedherlittlefriend,withagravityveryunusualinher,'itmay.Ihope, for the sake of that poor lad, itmay.However,' saidMissLaCreevy,relapsingintothecheerful,chatteringtone,whichwashabitualtoher,'Ihavesaidmysay,andavery longsay it is,andaverywrongsay too, Ishouldn'twonderatall.Ishallcheerhimuptonight,atallevents,forifheistobemysquireallthewaytotheStrand,Ishalltalkon,andon,andon,andneverleaveoff,tillIhaverousedhimintoalaughatsomething.Sothesoonerhegoes,thebetterforhim,andthesoonerIgo,thebetterforme,Iamsure,orelseIshallhave my maid gallivanting with somebody who may rob the housethoughwhatthereistotakeaway,besidestablesandchairs,Idon'tknow,excepttheminiatures: and he is a clever thief who can dispose of them to any greatadvantage,forIcan't,Iknow,andthat'sthehonesttruth.'

Sosaying,littleMissLaCreevyhidherfaceinaveryflatbonnet,andherselfin a verybig shawl; and fixingherself tightly into the latter, bymeansof alargepin,declaredthattheomnibusmightcomeassoonasitpleased,forshewasquiteready.

But therewasstillMrsNicklebyto take leaveof;and longbefore thatgoodladyhadconcludedsomereminiscencesbearingupon,andappropriateto,theoccasion, theomnibusarrived.ThisputMissLaCreevyinagreatbustle, inconsequence whereof, as she secretly rewarded the servant girl witheighteenpence behind the streetdoor, she pulled out of her reticuletenpennyworth of halfpence, which rolled into all possible corners of thepassage, and occupied some considerable time in the picking up. Thisceremonyhad,ofcourse,tobesucceededbyasecondkissingofKateandMrsNickleby, and a gathering together of the little basket and the brownpaperparcel,duringwhichproceedings,'theomnibus,'asMissLaCreevyprotested,'sworesodreadfully,thatitwasquiteawfultohearit.'Atlengthandatlast,itmadeafeintofgoingaway,andthenMissLaCreevydartedout,anddartedin, apologisingwithgreatvolubility toall thepassengers, anddeclaring thatshe wouldn't purposely have kept them waiting on any account whatever.While she was looking about for a convenient seat, the conductor pushedSmikein,andcriedthatitwasallrightthoughitwasn'tandawaywentthehugevehicle,withthenoiseofhalfadozenbrewers'draysatleast.

Leaving it to pursue its journey at the pleasure of the conductoraforementioned,wholoungedgracefullyonhislittleshelfbehind,smokinganodoriferouscigar;andleavingittostop,orgoon,orgallop,orcrawl,asthatgentleman deemed expedient and advisable; this narrativemay embrace the

opportunityofascertainingtheconditionofSirMulberryHawk,andtowhatextenthehad,by this time, recoveredfromthe injuriesconsequentonbeingflungviolentlyfromhiscabriolet,underthecircumstancesalreadydetailed.

Withashatteredlimb,abodyseverelybruised,afacedisfiguredbyhalfhealedscars, andpallid from the exhaustionof recentpain and fever,SirMulberryHawklaystretcheduponhisback,onthecouchtowhichhewasdoomedtobeaprisoner for someweeksyet tocome.MrPykeandMrPlucksatdrinkinghardinthenextroom,nowandthenvaryingthemonotonousmurmursoftheirconversation with a halfsmothered laugh, while the young lordthe onlymember of the partywhowas not thoroughly irredeemable, andwho reallyhadakindheartsatbesidehisMentor,withacigarinhismouth,andreadtohim,bythelightofalamp,suchscrapsofintelligencefromapaperoftheday,asweremostlikelytoyieldhiminterestoramusement.

'Cursethosehounds!'saidtheinvalid,turninghisheadimpatientlytowardstheadjoiningroom;'willnothingstoptheirinfernalthroats?'

Messrs Pyke and Pluck heard the exclamation, and stopped immediately:winkingtoeachotheras theydidso,andfillingtheirglasses to thebrim,assomerecompenseforthedeprivationofspeech.

'Damn!'mutteredthesickmanbetweenhisteeth,andwrithingimpatientlyinhisbed. 'Isn't thismattresshardenough,andtheroomdullenough,andpainbadenough,butTHEYmusttortureme?What'sthetime?'

'Halfpasteight,'repliedhisfriend.

'Here, draw the table nearer, and let us have the cards again,' said SirMulberry.'Morepiquet.Come.'

Itwascurioustoseehoweagerlythesickman,debarredfromanychangeofposition save themere turningof his head from side to side,watched everymotionofhisfriendintheprogressofthegame;andwithwhateagernessandinterestheplayed,andyethowwarilyandcoolly.Hisaddressandskillweremorethantwentytimesamatchforhisadversary,whocouldmakelittleheadagainstthem,evenwhenfortunefavouredhimwithgoodcards,whichwasnotoftenthecase.SirMulberrywoneverygame;andwhenhiscompanionthrewdownthecards,andrefusedtoplayanylonger,thrustforthhiswastedarmandcaughtupthestakeswithaboastfuloath,andthesamehoarselaugh,thoughconsiderably lowered in tone, that had resounded in Ralph Nickleby'sdiningroom,monthsbefore.

While hewas thus occupied, hisman appeared, to announce thatMrRalphNicklebywasbelow,andwishedtoknowhowhewas,tonight.

'Better,'saidSirMulberry,impatiently.

'MrNicklebywishestoknow,sir'

'Itellyou,better,'repliedSirMulberry,strikinghishanduponthetable.

Themanhesitatedforamomentortwo,andthensaidthatMrNicklebyhadrequestedpermissiontoseeSirMulberryHawk,ifitwasnotinconvenient.

'ItISinconvenient.Ican'tseehim.Ican'tseeanybody,'saidhismaster,moreviolentlythanbefore.'Youknowthat,youblockhead.'

'Iamverysorry,sir,'returnedtheman.'ButMrNicklebypressedsomuch,sir'

Thefactwas,thatRalphNicklebyhadbribedtheman,who,beinganxioustoearnhismoneywithaviewtofuturefavours,heldthedoorinhishand,andventuredtolingerstill.

'Did he say whether he had any business to speak about?' inquired SirMulberry,afteralittleimpatientconsideration.

'No,sir.Hesaidhewishedtoseeyou,sir.Particularly,MrNicklebysaid,sir.'

'Tellhim tocomeup.Here,' criedSirMulberry, calling themanback,ashepassedhis handover his disfigured face, 'move that lamp, andput it on thestand behindme.Wheel that table away, and place a chair therefurther off.Leaveitso.'

Themanobeyedthesedirectionsasifhequitecomprehendedthemotivewithwhich they were dictated, and left the room. Lord Frederick Verisopht,remarking that he would look in presently, strolled into the adjoiningapartment,andclosedthefoldingdoorbehindhim.

Thenwasheardasubduedfootsteponthestairs;andRalphNickleby,hat inhand,creptsoftlyintotheroom,withhisbodybentforwardasifinprofoundrespect,andhiseyesfixeduponthefaceofhisworthyclient.

'Well,Nickleby,' saidSirMulberry,motioninghim to thechairby thecouchside,andwavinghishandinassumedcarelessness,'Ihavehadabadaccident,yousee.'

'Isee,' rejoinedRalph,with thesamesteadygaze. 'Bad, indeed!Ishouldnothaveknownyou,SirMulberry.Dear,dear!ThisISbad.'

Ralph'smannerwasoneofprofoundhumilityandrespect;andthelowtoneofvoicewas that,which the gentlest consideration for a sickmanwould havetaughtavisitortoassume.Buttheexpressionofhisface,SirMulberry'sbeingaverted,was inextraordinarycontrast; andashestood, inhisusualattitude,calmly lookingon theprostrate formbeforehim,all thatpartofhis features

whichwasnotcastintoshadowbyhisprotrudingandcontractedbrows,boretheimpressofasarcasticsmile.

'Sit down,' said Sir Mulberry, turning towards him, as though by a violenteffort.'AmIasight,thatyoustandgazingthere?'

Asheturnedhisface,Ralphrecoiledasteportwo,andmakingasthoughhewereirresistiblyimpelledtoexpressastonishment,butwasdeterminednottodoso,satdownwithwellactedconfusion.

'Ihaveinquiredatthedoor,SirMulberry,everyday,'saidRalph,'twiceaday,indeed, at firstand tonight, presuming upon old acquaintance, and pasttransactionsbywhichwehavemutuallybenefitedinsomedegree,Icouldnotresist soliciting admission to your chamber. Have youhave you sufferedmuch?' said Ralph, bending forward, and allowing the same harsh smile togatheruponhisface,astheotherclosedhiseyes.

'More than enough to please me, and less than enough to please somebrokendownhacksthatyouandIknowof,andwholaytheirruinbetweenus,Idaresay,'returnedSirMulberry,tossinghisarmrestlesslyuponthecoverlet.

Ralph shrugged his shoulders in deprecation of the intense irritation withwhichthishadbeensaid;fortherewasanaggravating,colddistinctnessinhisspeech andmannerwhich so grated on the sickman that he could scarcelyendureit.

'Andwhat is it in these "past transactions," that brought you here tonight?'askedSirMulberry.

'Nothing,' replied Ralph. 'There are some bills of my lord's which needrenewal;butletthembetillyouarewell.IIcame,'saidRalph,speakingmoreslowly,andwithharsheremphasis, 'IcametosayhowgrievedIamthatanyrelative of mine, although disowned by me, should have inflicted suchpunishmentonyouas'

'Punishment!'interposedSirMulberry.

'Iknowithasbeenasevereone,'saidRalph,wilfullymistakingthemeaningoftheinterruption, 'andthathasmademethemoreanxioustotellyouthatIdisownthisvagabondthatIacknowledgehimasnokinofmineandthatIleavehimtotakehisdesertsfromyou,andeverymanbesides.Youmaywringhisneckifyouplease.Ishallnotinterfere.'

'This story that they tell me here, has got abroad then, has it?' asked SirMulberry,clenchinghishandsandteeth.

'Noisedinalldirections,'repliedRalph.'Everyclubandgamingroomhasrung

withit.Therehasbeenagoodsongmadeaboutit,asIamtold,'saidRalph,lookingeagerlyathisquestioner.'Ihavenothearditmyself,notbeingintheway of such things, but I have been told it's even printedfor privatecirculationbutthat'sallovertown,ofcourse.'

'It'salie!'saidSirMulberry;'Itellyouit'sallalie.Themaretookfright.'

'TheySAYhefrightenedher,'observedRalph,inthesameunmovedandquietmanner. 'Somesayhe frightenedyou,butTHAT'Sa lie, Iknow. Ihavesaidthatboldlyoh,ascoreoftimes!Iamapeaceableman,butIcan'thearfolkstellthatofyou.No,no.'

WhenSirMulberryfoundcoherentwordstoutter,Ralphbentforwardwithhishand tohisear,anda faceascalmas if itsevery lineofsternnesshadbeencastiniron.

'WhenIamoffthiscursedbed,'saidtheinvalid,actuallystrikingathisbrokenlegintheecstasyofhispassion,'I'llhavesuchrevengeasnevermanhadyet.ByGod,Iwill.Accidentfavouringhim,hehasmarkedmeforaweekortwo,butI'llputamarkonhimthatheshallcarrytohisgrave.I'llslithisnoseandears,floghim,maimhimforlife.I'lldomorethanthat;I'lldragthatpatternofchastity,thatpinkofprudery,thedelicatesister,through'

Itmighthavebeen thatevenRalph'scoldblood tingled inhischeeksat thatmoment. Itmighthavebeen thatSirMulberry remembered, that, knaveandusurerashewas,hemust,insomeearlytimeofinfancy,havetwinedhisarmabouther father'sneck.Hestopped,andmenacingwithhishand,confirmedtheunutteredthreatwithatremendousoath.

'Itisagallingthing,'saidRalph,afterashorttermofsilence,duringwhichhehadeyedthesuffererkeenly, 'to thinkthat themanabout town,therake, theROUE, therookof twentyseasonsshouldbebrought to thispassbyamereboy!'

SirMulberrydartedawrathfullookathim,butRalph'seyeswerebentupontheground,andhisfaceworenootherexpressionthanoneofthoughtfulness.

'A raw, slight stripling,' continuedRalph, 'against amanwhose veryweightmightcrushhim;tosaynothingofhisskillinIamright,Ithink,'saidRalph,raisinghiseyes,'youWEREapatronoftheringonce,wereyounot?'

The sickmanmade an impatient gesture,whichRalph chose to consider asoneofacquiescence.

'Ha!'hesaid,'Ithoughtso.ThatwasbeforeIknewyou,butIwasprettysureIcouldn'tbemistaken.Heislightandactive,Isuppose.Butthosewereslightadvantagescomparedwithyours.Luck,luck!Thesehangdogoutcastshaveit.'

'He'llneedthemosthehas,whenIamwellagain,'saidSirMulberryHawk,'lethimflywherehewill.'

'Oh!' returnedRalphquickly, 'hedoesn'tdreamof that.He ishere,good sir,waiting your pleasure, here in London, walking the streets at noonday;carrying it off jauntily; looking for you, I swear,' said Ralph, his facedarkening,andhisownhatredgettingtheupperhandofhim,forthefirsttime,asthisgaypictureofNicholaspresenteditself; 'ifwewereonlycitizensofacountry where it could be safely done, I'd give good money to have himstabbedtotheheartandrolledintothekennelforthedogstotear.'

AsRalph,somewhattothesurpriseofhisoldclient,ventedthislittlepieceofsound family feeling, and took up his hat preparatory to departing, LordFrederickVerisophtlookedin.

'Whywhatinthedeyvle'sname,Hawk,haveyouandNicklebybeentalkingabout?'saidtheyoungman. 'Ineyverheardsuchaninsufferableriot.Croak,croak,croak.Bow,wow,wow.Whathasitallbeenabout?'

'Sir Mulberry has been angry, my Lord,' said Ralph, looking towards thecouch.

'Not about money, I hope? Nothing has gone wrong in business, has it,Nickleby?'

'No, my Lord, no,' returned Ralph. 'On that point we always agree. SirMulberryhasbeencallingtomindthecauseof'

There was neither necessity nor opportunity for Ralph to proceed; for SirMulberrytookupthetheme,andventedhisthreatsandoathsagainstNicholas,almostasferociouslyasbefore.

Ralph,whowasnocommonobserver,wassurprisedtoseethatasthistiradeproceeded, the manner of Lord Frederick Verisopht, who at thecommencement had been twirling his whiskers with a most dandified andlistlessair,underwentacompletealteration.Hewasstillmoresurprisedwhen,Sir Mulberry ceasing to speak, the young lord angrily, and almostunaffectedly,requestednevertohavethesubjectrenewedinhispresence.

'Mindthat,Hawk!'headded,withunusualenergy.'Ineverwillbeapartyto,orpermit,ifIcanhelpit,acowardlyattackuponthisyoungfellow.'

'Cowardly!'interruptedhisfriend.

'Yees,' said the other, turning full upon him. 'If you had told himwho youwere; if you had given him your card, and found out, afterwards, that hisstation or character prevented your fighting him, it would have been bad

enoughthen;uponmysoulitwouldhavebeenbadenoughthen.Asitis,youdid wrong. I did wrong too, not to interfere, and I am sorry for it. Whathappened to you afterwards, was as much the consequence of accident asdesign,andmoreyourfaultthanhis;anditshallnot,withmyknowledge,becruellyvisiteduponhim,itshallnotindeed.'

Withthisemphaticrepetitionofhisconcludingwords,theyounglordturneduponhisheel;butbeforehehad reached theadjoining roomhe turnedbackagain,andsaid,withevengreatervehemencethanhehaddisplayedbefore,

'Idobelieve,now;uponmyhonourIdobelieve,thatthesisterisasvirtuousandmodestayoungladyassheisahandsomeone;andofthebrother,Isaythis,thatheactedasherbrothershould,andinamanlyandspiritedmanner.AndIonlywish,withallmyheartandsoul, thatanyoneofuscameoutofthismatterhalfaswellashedoes.'

So saying,LordFrederickVerisophtwalkedout of the room, leavingRalphNicklebyandSirMulberryinmostunpleasantastonishment.

'Is this your pupil?' asked Ralph, softly, 'or has he come fresh from somecountryparson?'

'Greenfoolstakethesefitssometimes,'repliedSirMulberryHawk,bitinghislip,andpointingtothedoor.'Leavehimtome.'

Ralph exchanged a familiar look with his old acquaintance; for they hadsuddenlygrownconfidentialagaininthisalarmingsurprise;andtookhiswayhome,thoughtfullyandslowly.

While these things were being said and done, and long before they wereconcluded, the omnibus had disgorgedMiss La Creevy and her escort, andtheyhadarrivedatherowndoor.Now,thegoodnatureofthelittleminiaturepainterwouldbynomeansallowofSmike'swalkingbackagain,untilhehadbeen previously refreshed with just a sip of something comfortable and amixedbiscuitorso;andSmike,entertainingnoobjectioneithertothesipofsomethingcomfortable,orthemixedbiscuit,but,consideringonthecontrarythat theywouldbeaverypleasantpreparation forawalk toBow, it felloutthathedelayedmuchlongerthanheoriginallyintended,andthatitwassomehalfhourafterduskwhenhesetforthonhisjourneyhome.

Therewasnolikelihoodofhislosinghisway,forit layquitestraightbeforehim,andhehadwalkedintotownwithNicholas,andbackalone,almosteveryday. So,Miss LaCreevy and he shook handswithmutual confidence, and,being charged with more kind remembrances to Mrs and Miss Nickleby,Smikestartedoff.

At the foot of LudgateHill, he turned a little out of the road to satisfy hiscuriositybyhavinga lookatNewgate.Afterstaringupat thesombrewalls,fromtheoppositesideoftheway,withgreatcareanddreadforsomeminutes,he turnedbackagain into theold track,andwalkedbriskly throughthecity;stoppingnowandthentogazeinatthewindowofsomeparticularlyattractiveshop,thenrunningforalittleway,thenstoppingagain,andsoon,asanyothercountryladmightdo.

Hehadbeengazingforalongtimethroughajeweller'swindow,wishinghecould take some of the beautiful trinkets home as a present, and imaginingwhat delight they would afford if he could, when the clocks struckthreequarters past eight; roused by the sound, he hurried on at a very quickpace,andwascrossingthecornerofabystreetwhenhefelthimselfviolentlybroughtto,withajerksosuddenthathewasobligedtoclingtoalampposttosavehimselffromfalling.Atthesamemoment,asmallboyclungtightroundhisleg,andashrillcryof'Hereheis,father!Hooray!'vibratedinhisears.

Smike knew that voice too well. He cast his despairing eyes downwardtowardstheformfromwhichithadproceeded,and,shudderingfromheadtofoot, looked round.Mr Squeers had hooked him in the coat collarwith thehandleofhisumbrella,andwashangingonattheotherendwithallhismightand main. The cry of triumph proceeded from Master Wackford, who,regardlessof allhiskicksand struggles, clung tohimwith the tenacityof abulldog!

One glance showed him this; and in that one glance the terrified creaturebecameutterlypowerlessandunabletoutterasound.

'Here's a go!' cried Mr Squeers, gradually coming handoverhand down theumbrella, and only unhooking itwhen he had got tight hold of the victim'scollar.'Here'sadeliciousgo!Wackford,myboy,calluponeofthemcoaches.'

'Acoach,father!'criedlittleWackford.

'Yes,acoach,sir,'repliedSqueers,feastinghiseyesuponthecountenanceofSmike.'Damntheexpense.Let'shavehiminacoach.'

'What's he been a doing of?' asked a labourerwith a hod of bricks, againstwhomand a fellowlabourerMrSqueers had backed, on the first jerk of theumbrella.

'Everything!'repliedMrSqueers, lookingfixedlyathisoldpupil inasortofrapturous trance. 'Everythingrunning away, sirjoining in bloodthirsty attacksupon his masterthere's nothing that's bad that he hasn't done. Oh, what adeliciousgoisthishere,goodLord!'

ThemanlookedfromSqueerstoSmike;butsuchmentalfacultiesasthepoorfellow possessed, had utterly deserted him. The coach came up; MasterWackford entered; Squeers pushed in his prize, and following close at hisheels,pulleduptheglasses.Thecoachmanmountedhisboxanddroveslowlyoff, leaving the two bricklayers, and an old applewoman, and a townmadelittleboyreturningfromaneveningschool,whohadbeentheonlywitnessesofthescene,tomeditateuponitattheirleisure.

MrSqueers sathimselfdownon theopposite seat to theunfortunateSmike,and, planting his hands firmly on his knees, looked at him for some fiveminutes,when, seeming to recover fromhis trance, heuttered a loud laugh,and slapped his old pupil's face several timestaking the right and left sidesalternately.

'Itisn'tadream!'saidSqueers.'That'srealfleshandblood!Iknowthefeelofit!' and being quite assured of his good fortune by these experiments, MrSqueers administered a fewboxes on the ear, lest the entertainments shouldseemtopartakeofsameness,andlaughedlouderandlongerateveryone.

'Yourmotherwillbe fit to jumpoutofher skin,myboy,whenshehearsofthis,'saidSqueerstohisson.

'Oh,won'tshethough,father?'repliedMasterWackford.

'Tothink,'saidSqueers,'thatyouandmeshouldbeturningoutofastreet,andcomeuponhimattheverynick;andthatIshouldhavehimtight,atonlyonecastoftheumbrella,asifIhadhookedhimwithagrapplingiron!Ha,ha!'

'Didn'tIcatchholdofhisleg,neither,father?'saidlittleWackford.

'Youdid;likeagood'un,myboy,'saidMrSqueers,pattinghisson'shead,'andyoushallhavethebestbuttonoverjacketandwaistcoatthatthenextnewboybringsdown,asarewardofmerit.Mindthat.Youalwayskeeponinthesamepath,anddothemthingsthatyouseeyourfatherdo,andwhenyoudieyou'llgorightslaptoHeavenandnoquestionsasked.'

Improving the occasion in these words, Mr Squeers patted his son's headagain,andthenpattedSmike'sbutharder;andinquiredinabanteringtonehowhefoundhimselfbythistime.

'Imustgohome,'repliedSmike,lookingwildlyround.

'Tobesureyoumust.You'reaboutrightthere,'repliedMrSqueers.'You'llgohome very soon, you will. You'll find yourself at the peaceful village ofDotheboys,inYorkshire,insomethingunderaweek'stime,myyoungfriend;and the next time you get away from there, I give you leave to keep away.Where'stheclothesyourunoffin,youungratefulrobber?'saidMrSqueers,in

aseverevoice.

Smikeglancedat theneatattirewhichthecareofNicholashadprovidedforhim;andwrunghishands.

'DoyouknowthatIcouldhangyouup,outsideoftheOldBailey,formakingawaywith themarticlesofproperty?' saidSqueers. 'Doyouknow that it's ahangingmatterandIan'tquitecertainwhetheritan'tananatomyonebesidestowalkoffwithup'ardsofthevalleyoffivepoundfromadwellinghouse?Eh?Doyouknowthat?Whatdoyousupposewastheworthofthemclothesyouhad?Doyouknow that thatWellingtonbootyouwore, cost eightandtwentyshillingswhenitwasapair,and theshoesevenandsix?Butyoucameto therightshopformercywhenyoucametome,andthankyourstarsthatitISmeashasgottoserveyouwiththearticle.'

Anybody not inMr Squeers's confidencewould have supposed that hewasquite out of the article in question, instead of having a large stock on handready for all comers; nor would the opinion of sceptical persons haveundergonemuchalterationwhenhefolloweduptheremarkbypokingSmikein the chestwith the ferrule of his umbrella, anddealing a smart shower ofblows,withtheribsofthesameinstrument,uponhisheadandshoulders.

'Ineverthreshedaboyinahackneycoachbefore,'saidMrSqueers,whenhestoppedtorest. 'There'sinconveniencyinit,butthenoveltygivesitasortofrelish,too!'

PoorSmike!Hewardedoff theblows,aswellashecould,andnowshrunkintoacornerofthecoach,withhisheadrestingonhishands,andhiselbowsonhisknees;hewasstunnedandstupefied,andhadnomoreideathatanyactofhis,wouldenablehimtoescapefromtheallpowerfulSqueers,nowthathehadnofriendtospeaktoortoadvisewith, thanhehadhadinall thewearyyearsofhisYorkshirelifewhichprecededthearrivalofNicholas.

The journey seemed endless; street after streetwas entered and left behind;andstilltheywentjoltingon.AtlastMrSqueersbegantothrusthisheadoutof the widow every halfminute, and to bawl a variety of directions to thecoachman; and after passing, with some difficulty, through several meanstreets which the appearance of the houses and the bad state of the roaddenotedtohavebeenrecentlybuilt,MrSqueerssuddenlytuggedatthecheckstringwithallhismight,andcried,'Stop!'

'Whatareyoupullingaman'sarmofffor?'saidthecoachmanlookingangrilydown.

'That'sthehouse,'repliedSqueers.'Thesecondofthemfourlittlehouses,onestoryhigh,with thegreen shutters.There'sbrassplateon thedoor,with the

nameofSnawley.'

'Couldn'tyousaythatwithoutwrenchingaman'slimbsoffhisbody?'inquiredthecoachman.

'No!'bawledMrSqueers.'Sayanotherword,andI'llsummonsyouforhavingabrokenwinder.Stop!'

Obedient to this direction, the coach stopped at Mr Snawley's door. MrSnawley may be remembered as the sleek and sanctified gentleman whoconfidedtwosons(inlaw)totheparentalcareofMrSqueers,asnarratedinthe fourth chapter of this history. Mr Snawley's house was on the extremebordersofsomenewsettlementsadjoiningSomersTown,andMrSqueershadtakenlodgingsthereinforashorttime,ashisstaywaslongerthanusual,andtheSaracen,havingexperienceofMasterWackford'sappetite,haddeclinedtoreceivehimonanyothertermsthanasafullgrowncustomer.

'Hereweare!'saidSqueers,hurryingSmike into the littleparlour,whereMrSnawley and his wife were taking a lobster supper. 'Here's the vagrantthefelontherebelthemonsterofunthankfulness.'

'What! The boy that run away!' cried Snawley, resting his knife and forkuprightonthetable,andopeninghiseyestotheirfullwidth.

'The very boy', said Squeers, putting his fist close to Smike's nose, anddrawingitawayagain,andrepeatingtheprocessseveraltimes,withaviciousaspect.'Iftherewasn'taladypresent,I'dfetchhimsucha:nevermind,I'lloweithim.'

AndhereMrSqueersrelatedhow,andinwhatmanner,andwhenandwhere,hehadpickeduptherunaway.

'It'sclearthattherehasbeenaProvidenceinit,sir,'saidMrSnawley,castingdown his eyeswith an air of humility, and elevating his fork,with a bit oflobsteronthetopofit,towardstheceiling.

'Providenceisagainsthim,nodoubt,'repliedMrSqueers,scratchinghisnose.'Ofcourse;thatwastobeexpected.Anybodymighthaveknownthat.'

'Hardheartednessandevildoingwillneverprosper,sir,'saidMrSnawley.

'Neverwassuchathingknown,'rejoinedSqueers,takingalittlerollofnotesfromhispocketbook,toseethattheywereallsafe.

'I have been,Mr Snawley,' saidMr Squeers, when he had satisfied himselfupon this point, 'I have been that chap's benefactor, feeder, teacher, andclother. I have been that chap's classical, commercial, mathematical,philosophical, and trigonomical friend. My sonmy only son, Wackfordhas

beenhisbrother;MrsSqueershasbeenhismother,grandmother,aunt,ah!andImaysayuncle too,all inone.Shenevercottoned toanybody,except themtwo engaging and delightful boys of yours, as she cottoned to this chap.What'smyreturn?What'scomeofmymilkofhumankindness?ItturnsintocurdsandwheywhenIlookathim.'

'Wellitmay,sir,'saidMrsSnawley.'Oh!Wellitmay,sir.'

'Wherehashebeenallthistime?'inquiredSnawley.'Hashebeenlivingwith?'

'Ah,sir!' interposedSqueers,confrontinghimagain. 'Haveyoubeena livingwiththattheredevilishNickleby,sir?'

But no threats or cuffs could elicit from Smike one word of reply to thisquestion; for he had internally resolved that he would rather perish in thewretchedprisontowhichhewasagainabouttobeconsigned,thanutteronesyllablewhichcouldinvolvehisfirstandtruefriend.Hehadalreadycalledtomind thestrict injunctionsofsecrecyas tohispast life,whichNicholashadlaid upon him when they travelled from Yorkshire; and a confused andperplexedideathathisbenefactormighthavecommittedsometerriblecrimeinbringinghimaway,whichwouldrenderhimliabletoheavypunishmentifdetected,hadcontributed,insomedegree,toreducehimtohispresentstateofapathyandterror.

Suchwerethethoughtsiftovisionssoimperfectandundefinedasthosewhichwandered through his enfeebled brain, the term can be appliedwhich werepresenttothemindofSmike,andrenderedhimdeafaliketointimidationandpersuasion.Findingeveryeffortuseless,MrSqueersconductedhimtoalittlebackroomupstairs,wherehewastopassthenight;and,takingtheprecautionofremovinghisshoes,andcoatandwaistcoat,andalsooflockingthedoorontheoutside, lestheshouldmusterupsufficientenergytomakeanattemptatescape,thatworthygentlemanlefthimtohismeditations.

What thosemeditationswere, andhow thepoorcreature'sheart sunkwithinhimwhen he thoughtwhen did he, for amoment, cease to think?of his latehome, and the dear friends and familiar faceswithwhich itwas associated,cannotbetold.Topreparethemindforsuchaheavysleep,itsgrowthmustbestoppedbyrigourandcrueltyinchildhood;theremustbeyearsofmiseryandsuffering, lightenedbyno rayofhope; thechordsof theheart,whichbeataquickresponsetothevoiceofgentlenessandaffection,musthaverustedandbroken in their secret places, andbear the lingering echoof nooldwordofloveorkindness.Gloomy,indeed,musthavebeentheshortday,anddullthelong,longtwilight,precedingsuchanightofintellectashis.

There were voices which would have roused him, even then; but theirwelcometonescouldnotpenetratethere;andhecrepttobedthesamelistless,

hopeless,blightedcreature,thatNicholashadfirstfoundhimattheYorkshireschool.

CHAPTER39

InwhichanotheroldFriendencountersSmike,veryopportunelyandtosomePurpose

Thenight,fraughtwithsomuchbitternesstoonepoorsoul,hadgivenplacetoa bright and cloudless summer morning, when a northcountry mailcoachtraversed,with cheerful noise, the yet silent streets of Islington, and, givingbrisknoteofitsapproachwiththelivelywindingoftheguard'shorn,clatteredonwardtoitshaltingplacehardbythePostOffice.

The only outside passenger was a burly, honestlooking countryman on thebox,who,withhiseyesfixeduponthedomeofStPaul'sCathedral,appearedso wrapt in admiring wonder, as to be quite insensible to all the bustle ofgetting out the bags and parcels, until one of the coach windows being letsharplydown,he looked round, andencounteredapretty female facewhichwasjustthenthrustout.

'See there, lass!' bawled the countryman, pointing towards the object of hisadmiration.'TherebePaul'sChurch.'Ecod,hebeasoizable'un,hebe.'

'Goodness, John! I shouldn't have thought it could have been half the size.Whatamonster!'

'Monsther!Ye'reabootrighttheer,Ireckon,MrsBrowdie,'saidthecountrymangoodhumouredly,ashecameslowlydowninhishugetopcoat;'andwa'atdosttheetakyonplacetobenoothot'unoworthewa'?Ye'dnevercoomnearit'ginyouthriedfortwolvemoonths.It'sna'butaPoastOffice!Ho!ho!Theyneedto charge for dooblelatthers. A Poast Office!Wa'at dost thee think o' thot?'Ecod, if thot'son'yaPoastOffice, I'd loike toseewhere theLordMayoro'Lunnunlives.'

Sosaying,JohnBrowdieforheitwasopenedthecoachdoor,andtappingMrsBrowdie,lateMissPrice,onthecheekashelookedin,burstintoaboisterousfitoflaughter.

'Weel!'saidJohn.'Dangmybootunsifshebean'tasleepagean!'

'She'sbeenasleepallnight,andwas,allyesterday,exceptforaminuteortwonowandthen,'repliedJohnBrowdie'schoice,'andIwasverysorrywhenshe

woke,forshehasbeenSOcross!'

Thesubjectoftheseremarkswasaslumberingfigure,somuffledinshawlandcloak,thatitwouldhavebeenmatterofimpossibilitytoguessatitssexbutforabrownbeaverbonnetandgreenveilwhichornamentedthehead,andwhich,having been crushed and flattened, for two hundred and fiftymiles, in thatparticular angleof thevehicle fromwhich the lady's snoresnowproceeded,presented an appearance sufficiently ludicrous to have moved less risiblemusclesthanthoseofJohnBrowdie'sruddyface.

'Hollo!'criedJohn,twitchingoneendofthedraggedveil.'Coom,wakkenoop,will'ee?'

After several burrowings into the old corner, and many exclamations ofimpatienceand fatigue, the figure struggled intoa sittingposture; and there,under a mass of crumpled beaver, and surrounded by a semicircle of bluecurlpapers,werethedelicatefeaturesofMissFannySqueers.

'Oh, 'Tilda!' criedMissSqueers, 'howyouhavebeenkickingofme throughthisblessednight!'

'Well,Idolikethat,' repliedherfriend, laughing, 'whenyouhavehadnearlythewholecoachtoyourself.'

'Don'tdenyit,'Tilda,'saidMissSqueers,impressively,'becauseyouhave,andit'snousetogoattemptingtosayyouhaven't.Youmightn'thaveknownitinyour sleep, 'Tilda, but I haven't closedmy eyes for a singlewink, and so ITHINKIamtobebelieved.'

Withwhichreply,MissSqueersadjusted thebonnetandveil,whichnothingbut supernatural interference and an utter suspension of nature's laws couldhave reduced to any shape or form; and evidently flattering herself that itlookeduncommonlyneat,brushedoffthesandwichcrumbsandbitsofbiscuitwhich had accumulated in her lap, and availing herself of John Browdie'sprofferedarm,descendedfromthecoach.

'Noo,'saidJohn,whenahackneycoachhadbeencalled,andtheladiesandtheluggagehurriedin,'gangtotheSarah'sHead,mun.'

'TotheVERE?'criedthecoachman.

'Lawk,MrBrowdie!'interruptedMissSqueers.'Theidea!Saracen'sHead.'

'Surely,'saidJohn,'Iknow'ditwassomethingabootSarah'sSon'sHead.Dostthouknowthot?'

'Oh,ah!Iknowthat,'repliedthecoachmangruffly,ashebangedthedoor.

''Tilda,dear,really,'remonstratedMissSqueers, 'weshallbetakenforIdon'tknowwhat.'

'Let them tak' us as they foind us,' said John Browdie; 'we dean't come toLunnuntodonoughtbut'joyoursel,dowe?'

'Ihopenot,MrBrowdie,'repliedMissSqueers,lookingsingularlydismal.

'Well, then,' said John, 'it's nomatther. I've only been amarriedman fowerdays, 'accountofpooroldfeytherdeein,andputtin'itoff.Herebeaweddin'partybroideandbroide'smaid,and thegroomifamundean't 'joyhimselnoo,whenoughthe,hey?Dratitall,thot'swhatIwanttoknow.'

So,inorderthathemightbegintoenjoyhimselfatonce,andlosenotime,MrBrowdiegavehiswifeaheartykiss,andsucceededinwrestinganotherfromMissSqueers,afteramaidenlyresistanceofscratchingandstrugglingonthepart of that young lady, which was not quite over when they reached theSaracen'sHead.

Here, the party straightway retired to rest; the refreshment of sleep beingnecessary after so long a journey; andhere theymet again aboutnoon, to asubstantial breakfast, spread by direction of Mr John Browdie, in a smallprivateroomupstairscommandinganuninterruptedviewofthestables.

TohaveseenMissSqueersnow,divestedofthebrownbeaver,thegreenveil,and the blue curlpapers, and arrayed in all the virgin splendour of a whitefrockandspencer,withawhitemuslinbonnet,andanimitativedamaskroseinfullbloomontheinsidethereofherluxuriantcropofhairarrangedincurlssotight that itwas impossible theycouldcomeoutbyanyaccident,andherbonnetcaptrimmedwithlittledamaskroses,whichmightbesupposedtobesomanypromisingscionsof thebigrosetohaveseenall this,andtohaveseenthe broad damask belt, matching both the family rose and the little roses,whichencircledherslenderwaist,andbyahappyingenuitytookofffromtheshortness of the spencer behind,to have beheld all this, and to have takenfurtherintoaccountthecoralbracelets(rathershortofbeads,andwithaveryvisible black string)which clasped herwrists, and the coral necklacewhichrested on her neck, supporting, outside her frock, a lonely cornelian heart,typicalofherowndisengagedaffectionstohavecontemplatedall thesemutebutexpressiveappealstothepurestfeelingsofournature,mighthavethawedthefrostofage,andaddednewandinextinguishablefueltothefireofyouth.

The waiter was touched. Waiter as he was, he had human passions andfeelings,andhelookedveryhardatMissSqueersashehandedthemuffins.

'Ismypain,doyouknow?'askedMissSqueerswithdignity.

'Begyourpardon,miss?'

'Mypa,'repeatedMissSqueers;'ishein?'

'Inwhere,miss?'

'Inherein thehouse!' repliedMissSqueers. 'MypaMrWackfordSqueershe'sstoppinghere.Isheathome?'

'Ididn'tknowtherewasanygen'l'manofthatnameinthehouse,miss'repliedthewaiter.'Theremaybe,inthecoffeeroom.'

MAYBE. Very pretty this, indeed! Here wasMiss Squeers, who had beendepending, all the way to London, upon showing her friends howmuch athome she would be, and how much respectful notice her name andconnectionswouldexcite,toldthatherfatherMIGHTbethere!'Asifhewasafeller!'observedMissSqueers,withemphaticindignation.

'Ye'd betther inquire, mun,' said John Browdie. 'An' hond up anotherpigeonpie, will 'ee? Dang the chap,' muttered John, looking into the emptydish as the waiter retired; 'does he ca' this a piethree yoong pigeons and atroiflingmatthero'steak,andacrustsoloightthatyoudoantknowwhenit'sin your mooth and when it's gane? I wonder hoo many pies goes to abreakfast!'

Afterashortinterval,whichJohnBrowdieemployeduponthehamandacoldroundofbeef, thewaiter returnedwithanotherpie,and the information thatMrSqueerswasnotstopping in thehouse,but thathecamethereeverydayandthatdirectlyhearrived,heshouldbeshownupstairs.Withthis,heretired;andhehadnotretiredtwominutes,whenhereturnedwithMrSqueersandhishopefulson.

'Why,who'dhavethoughtofthis?'saidMrSqueers,whenhehadsalutedthepartyandreceivedsomeprivatefamilyintelligencefromhisdaughter.

'Who, indeed, pa!' replied that young lady, spitefully. 'But you see 'Tilda ISmarriedatlast.'

'And I stond threat for a soight o' Lunnun, schoolmeasther,' said John,vigorouslyattackingthepie.

'One of them things that young men do when they get married,' returnedSqueers;'andasrunsthroughwiththeirmoneylikenothingatall!Howmuchbetterwouldn'titbenow,tosaveitupfortheeddicationofanylittleboys,forinstance! They come on you,' saidMr Squeers in amoralisingway, 'beforeyou'reawareofit;minediduponme.'

'Will'eepickabit?'saidJohn.

'Iwon'tmyself,' returned Squeers; 'but if you'll just let littleWackford tuckintosomethingfat, I'llbeobliged toyou.Give ithiminhis fingers,else thewaiterchargesiton,andthere'slotofprofitonthissortofvittleswithoutthat.Ifyouhearthewaitercoming,sir,shoveitinyourpocketandlookoutofthewindow,d'yehear?'

'I'mawake,father,'repliedthedutifulWackford.

'Well,'saidSqueers,turningtohisdaughter,'it'syourturntobemarriednext.Youmustmakehaste.'

'Oh,I'minnohurry,'saidMissSqueers,verysharply.

'No,Fanny?'criedheroldfriendwithsomearchness.

'No,'Tilda,'repliedMissSqueers,shakingherheadvehemently.'Icanwait.'

'Socantheyoungmen,itseems,Fanny,'observedMrsBrowdie.

'Theyan'tdraw'dintoitbyME,'Tilda,'retortedMissSqueers.

'No,'returnedherfriend;'that'sexceedinglytrue.'

The sarcastic tone of this reply might have provoked a rather acrimoniousretort from Miss Squeers, who, besides being of a constitutionally vicioustemperaggravated,justnow,bytravelandrecentjoltingwassomewhatirritatedbyoldrecollectionsandthefailureofherowndesignsuponMrBrowdie;andthe acrimonious retort might have led to a great many other retorts, whichmighthaveledtoHeavenknowswhat,ifthesubjectofconversationhadnotbeen,atthatprecisemoment,accidentallychangedbyMrSqueershimself

'Whatdoyouthink?'saidthatgentleman; 'whodoyousupposewehavelaidhandson,Wackfordandme?'

'Pa!notMr?'MissSqueerswasunabletofinishthesentence,butMrsBrowdiediditforher,andadded,'Nickleby?'

'No,'saidSqueers.'Butnextdoortohimthough.'

'Youcan'tmeanSmike?'criedMissSqueers,clappingherhands.

'Yes,Icanthough,'rejoinedherfather.'I'vegothim,hardandfast.'

'Wa'at!'exclaimedJohnBrowdie,pushingawayhisplate.'Gotthatpoordom'dscoondrel?Where?'

'Why,inthetopbackroom,atmylodging,'repliedSqueers,'withhimononeside,andthekeyontheother.'

'At thy loodgin'! Thee'st gotten him at thy loodgin'? Ho! ho! The

schoolmeasther agin all England.Give us thee hond,mun; I'm darned but Imustshaktheebythehondforthot.Gottenhimatthyloodgin'?'

'Yes,'repliedSqueers,staggeringinhischairunderthecongratulatoryblowonthechestwhichthestoutYorkshiremandealthim;'thankee.Don'tdoitagain.Youmeanitkindly,Iknow,butithurtsrather.Yes,thereheis.That'snotsobad,isit?'

'Ba'ad!'repeatedJohnBrowdie.'It'seneaftoscareamuntoheartellon.'

'Ithoughtitwouldsurpriseyouabit,'saidSqueers,rubbinghishands.'Itwasprettyneatlydone,andprettyquicktoo.'

'Hoowor it?' inquired John, sitting down close to him. 'Tell us all aboot it,mun;coom,quick!'

AlthoughhecouldnotkeeppacewithJohnBrowdie'simpatience,MrSqueersrelatedtheluckychancebywhichSmikehadfallenintohishands,asquicklyashecould,and,exceptwhenhewasinterruptedbytheadmiringremarksofhisauditors,pausednotintherecitaluntilhehadbroughtittoanend.

'Forfearheshouldgivemetheslip,byanychance,'observedSqueers,whenhehadfinished,lookingverycunning,'I'vetakenthreeoutsidesfortomorrowmorningforWackfordandhimandmeandhavearrangedtoleavetheaccountsand the new boys to the agent, don't you see? So it's very lucky you cometoday, or you'dhavemissedus; and as it is, unless you could comeand teawithmetonight,weshan'tseeanythingmoreofyoubeforewegoaway.'

'Dean't say anoother wurd,' returned the Yorkshireman, shaking him by thehand.'We'dcoom,ifitwastwontymile.'

'No, would you though?' returnedMr Squeers, who had not expected quitesuchareadyacceptanceofhisinvitation,orhewouldhaveconsideredtwicebeforehegaveit.

JohnBrowdie'sonlyreplywasanothersqueezeofthehand,andanassurancethattheywouldnotbegintoseeLondontilltomorrow,sothattheymightbeatMrSnawley'satsixo'clockwithoutfail;andaftersomefurtherconversation,MrSqueersandhissondeparted.

Duringtheremainderoftheday,MrBrowdiewasinaveryoddandexcitablestate;burstingoccasionally intoanexplosionof laughter,and then takinguphishatandrunningintothecoachyardtohaveitoutbyhimself.Hewasveryrestless too, constantly walking in and out, and snapping his fingers, anddancingscrapsofuncouthcountrydances,and,inshort,conductinghimselfinsuch a very extraordinary manner, that Miss Squeers opined he was goingmad, and, begging her dear 'Tilda not to distress herself, communicated her

suspicionsinsomanywords.MrsBrowdie,however,withoutdiscoveringanygreatalarm,observedthatshehadseenhimsooncebefore,andthatalthoughhewasalmostsuretobeillafterit,itwouldnotbeanythingveryserious,andthereforehewasbetterleftalone.

Theresultprovedhertobeperfectlycorrectfor,whiletheywereallsittinginMrSnawley'sparlourthatnight,andjustasitwasbeginningtogetdusk,JohnBrowdiewas taken so ill, and seizedwith suchanalarmingdizziness in thehead,thatthewholecompanywerethrownintotheutmostconsternation.Hisgoodlady,indeed,wastheonlypersonpresent,whoretainedpresenceofmindenoughtoobservethatifhewereallowedtoliedownonMrSqueers'sbedforanhourorso,andleftentirelytohimself,hewouldbesuretorecoveragainalmost as quickly as he had been taken ill. Nobody could refuse to try theeffectofsoreasonableaproposal,beforesendingforasurgeon.Accordingly,Johnwassupportedupstairs,withgreatdifficulty;beingamonstrousweight,andregularlytumblingdowntwostepseverytimetheyhoistedhimupthree;and,being laidon thebed,was left inchargeofhiswife,who,afterashortinterval,reappearedintheparlour,withthegratifyingintelligencethathehadfallenfastasleep.

Now,thefactwas,thatatthatparticularmoment,JohnBrowdiewassittingonthebedwiththereddestfaceeverseen,crammingthecornerofthepillowintohismouth, to prevent his roaring out loudwith laughter.He had no soonersucceeded in suppressing this emotion, than he slipped off his shoes, andcreeping to the adjoining roomwhere the prisonerwas confined, turned thekey,whichwasontheoutside,anddartingin,coveredSmike'smouthwithhishugehandbeforehecouldutterasound.

'Odsbobs,dost theenotknowme,mun?'whispered theYorkshireman to thebewildered lad. 'Browdie. Chap as met thee efther schoolmeasther wasbanged?'

'Yes,yes,'criedSmike.'Oh!helpme.'

'Helpthee!'repliedJohn,stoppinghismouthagain,theinstanthehadsaidthismuch. 'Theedidn'tneedhelp, if theewarn'tassillyyoongsteraseverdraw'dbreath.Wa'atdid'eecomeherefor,then?'

'Hebroughtme;oh!hebroughtme,'criedSmike.

'Broutthee!'repliedJohn.'Whydidn't'eepunchhishead,orlaytheeselfdoonandkick, and squeal out for the pollis? I'd ha' licked a doozen such as himwhenIwasyoongasthee.Buttheebe'estapoorbrokendoonchap,'saidJohn,sadly,'andGodforgi'meforbraggingoweryano'hisweakestcreeturs!'

Smikeopenedhismouthtospeak,butJohnBrowdiestoppedhim.

'Stan' still,' said theYorkshireman, 'anddoant'ee speak amorsel o' talk till Itell'ee.'

With thiscaution,JohnBrowdieshookhisheadsignificantly,anddrawingascrewdriverfromhispocket,tookofftheboxofthelockinaverydeliberateand workmanlike manner, and laid it, together with the implement, on thefloor.

'Seethot?'saidJohn'Thotbethydoin'.Noo,cootawa'!'

Smikelookedvacantlyathim,asifunabletocomprehendhismeaning.

'I say, coot awa',' repeated John, hastily. 'Dost thee knowwhere thee livest?Theedost?Weel.Areyonthyclothes,orschoolmeasther's?'

'Mine,'repliedSmike,astheYorkshiremanhurriedhimtotheadjoiningroom,andpointedoutapairofshoesandacoatwhichwerelyingonachair.

'On wi' 'em,' said John, forcing the wrong arm into the wrong sleeve, andwinding the tails of the coat round the fugitive's neck. 'Noo, follerme, andwhentheeget'stootsidedoor,turntotheright,andtheywean'tseetheepass.'

'Butbuthe'llhearmeshutthedoor,'repliedSmike,tremblingfromheadtofoot.

'Thendean'tshutitatall,'retortedJohnBrowdie.'Dangit,theebean'tafeardo'schoolmeasther'stakkincold,Ihope?'

'Nno,' saidSmike, his teeth chattering inhis head. 'But hebroughtmebackbefore,andwillagain.Hewill,hewillindeed.'

'Hewull,hewull!'repliedJohnimpatiently.'Hewean't,hewean't.Look'ee!Iwont to do this neighbourly loike, and let them think thee's gotten awa' o'theeself, but if he cooms oot o' thot parlour awhiles theer't clearing off, hemun'havemercyonhisounboans,forIwean't.Ifhefoindsitoot,soonefther,I'll put 'un on awrong scent, Iwarrant 'ee. But if thee keep'st a good hart,thee'ltbeatwhoamaforetheyknowthee'stgottenoff.Coom!'

Smike, who comprehended just enough of this to know it was intended asencouragement,preparedtofollowwithtotteringsteps,whenJohnwhisperedinhisear.

'Thee'lt just tell yoongMeasther that I'm sploiced to 'Tilly Price, and to beheerdonattheSaracenbylatther,andthatIbean't jealousof 'undangit,I'mloike to boost when I think o' that neight! 'Cod, I think I see 'un now, apowderin'awa'atthethinbreadan'butther!'

ItwasratheraticklishrecollectionforJohnjustthen,forhewaswithinanaceofbreakingoutintoaloudguffaw.Restraininghimself,however,justintime,

byagreateffort,heglideddownstairs,haulingSmikebehindhim;andplacinghimselfclosetotheparlourdoor,toconfrontthefirstpersonthatmightcomeout,signedtohimtomakeoff.

Havinggotsofar,Smikeneedednosecondbidding.Opening thehousedoorgently,andcastinga lookofmingledgratitudeandterrorathisdeliverer,hetook the directionwhichhadbeen indicated to him, and sped away like thewind.

TheYorkshireman remainedonhispost for a fewminutes,but, finding thattherewasnopauseintheconversationinside,creptbackagainunheard,andstood, listening over the stairrail, for a full hour. Everything remainingperfectly quiet, he got into Mr Squeers's bed, once more, and drawing theclothesoverhishead,laughedtillhewasnearlysmothered.

Iftherecouldonlyhavebeensomebodyby,toseehowthebedclothesshook,andtoseetheYorkshireman'sgreatredfaceandroundheadappearabovethesheets,everynowandthen,likesomejovialmonstercomingtothesurfacetobreathe, and oncemore dive down convulsedwith the laughterwhich cameburstingforthafreshthatsomebodywouldhavebeenscarcelylessamusedthanJohnBrowdiehimself.

CHAPTER40

InwhichNicholasfallsinLove.HeemploysaMediator,whoseProceedingsarecrownedwithunexpectedSuccess,exceptinginonesolitaryParticular

Once more out of the clutches of his old persecutor, it needed no freshstimulation to call forth the utmost energy and exertion that Smike wascapable of summoning to his aid.Without pausing for a moment to reflectupon the course he was taking, or the probability of its leading himhomewards or the reverse, he fled away with surprising swiftness andconstancy of purpose, borne upon such wings as only Fear can wear, andimpelledbyimaginaryshoutsinthewellrememberedvoiceofSqueers,who,withahostofpursuers,seemedtothepoorfellow'sdisorderedsensestopressharduponhistrack;nowleftatagreaterdistanceintherear,andnowgainingfasterandfasteruponhim,asthealternationsofhopeandterroragitatedhimby turns. Long after he had become assured that these soundswere but thecreationofhisexcitedbrain,hestillheldon,atapacewhichevenweaknessandexhaustioncouldscarcelyretard.Itwasnotuntilthedarknessandquietofacountryroad,recalledhimtoasenseofexternalobjects,andthestarrysky,

above, warned him of the rapid flight of time, that, covered with dust andpantingforbreath,hestoppedtolistenandlookabouthim.

Allwasstillandsilent.Aglareoflightinthedistance,castingawarmglowupon the sky, marked where the huge city lay. Solitary fields, divided byhedgesandditches,throughmanyofwhichhehadcrashedandscrambledinhisflight,skirtedtheroad,bothbythewayhehadcomeandupontheoppositeside.Itwaslatenow.Theycouldscarcelytracehimbysuchpathsashehadtaken, and ifhe couldhope to regainhisowndwelling, itmust surelybeatsuchatimeasthat,andundercoverofthedarkness.This,bydegrees,becamepretty plain, even to the mind of Smike. He had, at first, entertained somevagueandchildishideaoftravellingintothecountryfortenoradozenmiles,andthenreturninghomewardsbyawidecircuit,whichshouldkeephimclearofLondonsogreatwashisapprehensionoftraversingthestreetsalone,lestheshould again encounter his dreaded enemybut, yielding to the convictionwhich these thoughts inspired, he turned back, and taking the open road,thoughnotwithoutmanyfearsandmisgivings,madeforLondonagain,withscarcely less speed of foot than that with which he had left the temporaryabodeofMrSqueers.

By the timehe reentered it, at thewestern extremity, the greater part of theshopswere closed.Of the throngs of peoplewho had been tempted abroadafter the heat of the day, but few remained in the streets, and they werelounginghome.Butoftheseheaskedhiswayfromtimetotime,andbydintofrepeatedinquiries,heatlengthreachedthedwellingofNewmanNoggs.

All that evening, Newman had been hunting and searching in byways andcornersfortheverypersonwhonowknockedathisdoor,whileNicholashadbeen pursuing the same inquiry in other directions. He was sitting, with amelancholy air, at his poor supper, when Smike's timorous and uncertainknock reached his ears.Alive to every sound, in his anxious and expectantstate, Newman hurried downstairs, and, uttering a cry of joyful surprise,draggedthewelcomevisitorintothepassageandupthestairs,andsaidnotaword until he had him safe in his owngarret and the doorwas shut behindthem, when he mixed a great mugfull of ginandwater, and holding it toSmike's mouth, as one might hold a bowl of medicine to the lips of arefractorychild,commandedhimtodrainittothelastdrop.

NewmanlookeduncommonlyblankwhenhefoundthatSmikedidlittlemorethanputhislipstothepreciousmixture;hewasintheactofraisingthemugto his own mouth with a deep sigh of compassion for his poor friend'sweakness,whenSmike,beginningtorelatetheadventureswhichhadbefallenhim,arrestedhimhalfway,andhestoodlistening,withthemuginhishand.

It was odd enough to see the change that came over Newman as Smike

proceeded.Atfirsthestood,rubbinghis lipswith thebackofhishand,asapreparatoryceremony towardscomposinghimself foradraught; then,at thementionofSqueers,hetookthemugunderhisarm,andopeninghiseyesverywide,lookedon,intheutmostastonishment.WhenSmikecametotheassaultupon himself in the hackney coach, he hastily deposited themug upon thetable,andlimpedupanddowntheroominastateofthegreatestexcitement,stopping himself with a jerk, every now and then, as if to listen moreattentively.WhenJohnBrowdiecame tobe spokenof,hedropped,by slowand gradual degrees, into a chair, and rubbing, his hands upon hiskneesquicker andquicker as the story reached its climaxburst, at last, into alaughcomposedofone loudsonorous 'Ha!ha!'havinggivenvent towhich,his countenance immediately fell again as he inquired, with the utmostanxiety,whetheritwasprobablethatJohnBrowdieandSqueershadcometoblows.

'No!I thinknot,' repliedSmike. 'Idon't thinkhecouldhavemissedmetill Ihadgotquiteaway.'

Newman scratched his headwith a shout of great disappointment, and oncemoreliftingupthemug,appliedhimselftothecontents;smilingmeanwhile,overtherim,withagrimandghastlysmileatSmike.

'You shall stay here,' saidNewman; 'you're tiredfagged. I'll tell them you'recomeback.Theyhavebeenhalfmadaboutyou.MrNicholas'

'Godblesshim!'criedSmike.

'Amen!' returnedNewman. 'Hehasn't had aminute's rest or peace; nomorehastheoldlady,norMissNickleby.'

'No, no.HasSHE thought aboutme?' saidSmike. 'Has she though?oh, hasshe,hasshe?Don'ttellmesoifshehasnot.'

'Shehas,'criedNewman.'Sheisasnobleheartedassheisbeautiful.'

'Yes,yes!'criedSmike.'Wellsaid!'

'Somildandgentle,'saidNewman.

'Yes,yes!'criedSmike,withincreasingeagerness.

'Andyetwithsuchatrueandgallantspirit,'pursuedNewman.

Hewasgoingon,inhisenthusiasm,when,chancingtolookathiscompanion,hesawthathehadcoveredhisfacewithhishands,andthattearswerestealingoutbetweenhisfingers.

Amomentbefore,theboy'seyesweresparklingwithunwontedfire,andevery

featurehadbeen lightedupwithanexcitementwhichmadehimappear, forthemoment,quiteadifferentbeing.

'Well,well,'mutteredNewman,as ifhewerea littlepuzzled. 'Ithas touchedME,morethanonce,tothinksuchanatureshouldhavebeenexposedtosuchtrials;thispoorfellowyes,yes,hefeelsthattooitsoftenshimmakeshimthinkofhisformermisery.Hah!That'sit?Yes,that'shum!'

It was by no means clear, from the tone of these broken reflections, thatNewman Noggs considered them as explaining, at all satisfactorily, theemotion which had suggested them. He sat, in a musing attitude, for sometime, regarding Smike occasionally with an anxious and doubtful glance,whichsufficiently showed thathewasnotvery remotelyconnectedwithhisthoughts.

AtlengthherepeatedhispropositionthatSmikeshouldremainwherehewasforthatnight,andthathe(Noggs)shouldstraightwayrepairtothecottagetorelieve the suspense of the family. But, as Smike would not hear ofthispleading his anxiety to see his friends againthey eventually sallied forthtogether; and the night being, by this time, far advanced, and Smike being,besides,sofootsorethathecouldhardlycrawlalong,itwaswithinanhourofsunrisewhentheyreachedtheirdestination.

Atthefirstsoundoftheirvoicesoutsidethehouse,Nicholas,whohadpassedasleeplessnight,devisingschemesfortherecoveryofhislostcharge,startedfrom his bed, and joyfully admitted them. There was so much noisyconversation, and congratulation, and indignation, that the remainder of thefamily were soon awakened, and Smike received a warm and cordialwelcome,notonlyfromKate,butfromMrsNicklebyalso,whoassuredhimof her future favour and regard, and was so obliging as to relate, for hisentertainment and that of the assembled circle, a most remarkable accountextracted from some work the name of which she had never known, of amiraculous escape from some prison, but what one she couldn't remember,effectedbyanofficerwhosenameshehadforgotten,confinedforsomecrimewhichshedidn'tclearlyrecollect.

AtfirstNicholaswasdisposedtogivehisunclecreditforsomeportionofthisboldattempt(whichhadsonearlyprovedsuccessful)tocarryoffSmike;butonmorematureconsideration,hewasinclinedtothinkthatthefullmeritofitrestedwithMr Squeers. Determined to ascertain, if he could, through JohnBrowdie,howthecasereallystood,hebetookhimselftohisdailyoccupation:meditating,ashewent,onagreatvarietyofschemesforthepunishmentoftheYorkshire schoolmaster, all of which had their foundation in the strictestprinciplesofretributivejustice,andhadbuttheonedrawbackofbeingwhollyimpracticable.

'Afinemorning,MrLinkinwater!'saidNicholas,enteringtheoffice.

'Ah!'repliedTim,'talkofthecountry,indeed!Whatdoyouthinkofthis,now,foradayaLondondayeh?'

'It'salittlecleareroutoftown,'saidNicholas.

'Clearer!' echoed Tim Linkinwater. 'You should see it from my bedroomwindow.'

'YoushouldseeitfromMINE,'repliedNicholas,withasmile.

'Pooh!pooh!'saidTimLinkinwater,'don'ttellme.Country!'(BowwasquitearusticplacetoTim.)'Nonsense!Whatcanyougetinthecountrybutnewlaideggsandflowers?IcanbuynewlaideggsinLeadenhallMarket,anymorningbefore breakfast; and as to flowers, it's worth a run upstairs to smell mymignonette,ortoseethedoublewallflowerinthebackatticwindow,atNo.6,inthecourt.'

'ThereisadoublewallfloweratNo.6,inthecourt,isthere?'saidNicholas.

'Yes, is there!' replied Tim, 'and planted in a cracked jug, without a spout.Therewerehyacinthsthere,thislastspring,blossoming,inbutyou'lllaughatthat,ofcourse.'

'Atwhat?'

'Attheirblossominginoldblackingbottles,'saidTim.

'NotI,indeed,'returnedNicholas.

Timlookedwistfullyathim,foramoment,as ifhewereencouragedby thetone of this reply to be more communicative on the subject; and stickingbehindhisear,apenthathehadbeenmaking,andshuttinguphisknifewithasmartclick,said,

'Theybelongtoasicklybedriddenhumpbackedboy,andseemtobetheonlypleasure,MrNickleby,ofhissadexistence.Howmanyyearsisit,'saidTim,pondering,'sinceIfirstnoticedhim,quitealittlechild,dragginghimselfabouton a pair of tiny crutches?Well! Well! Not many; but though they wouldappearnothing,ifIthoughtofotherthings,theyseemalong,longtime,whenIthinkofhim.Itisasadthing,'saidTim,breakingoff,'toseealittledeformedchildsittingapartfromotherchildren,whoareactiveandmerry,watchingthegamesheisdeniedthepowertosharein.Hemademyheartacheveryoften.'

'It is a good heart,' said Nicholas, 'that disentangles itself from the closeavocationsofeveryday,toheedsuchthings.Youweresaying'

'That the flowersbelonged to thispoorboy,' saidTim; 'that's all.When it is

fine weather, and he can crawl out of bed, he draws a chair close to thewindow,andsitsthere,lookingatthemandarrangingthem,alldaylong.Heused tonod,at first,and thenwecame tospeak.Formerly,when Icalled tohim of a morning, and asked him how he was, he would smile, and say,"Better!"butnowhe shakeshishead,andonlybendsmorecloselyoverhisoldplants.Itmustbedulltowatchthedarkhousetopsandtheflyingclouds,forsomanymonths;butheisverypatient.'

'Istherenobodyinthehousetocheerorhelphim?'askedNicholas.

'Hisfatherlivesthere,Ibelieve,'repliedTim,'andotherpeopletoo;butnooneseemstocaremuchforthepoorsicklycripple.Ihaveaskedhim,veryoften,ifIcandonothingforhim;hisanswerisalwaysthesame."Nothing."Hisvoiceisgrowingweakof late,butIcanSEEthathemakestheoldreply.Hecan'tleavehisbednow,sotheyhavemoveditclosebesidethewindow,andtherehelies,allday:nowlookingatthesky,andnowathisflowers,whichhestillmakesshifttotrimandwater,withhisownthinhands.Atnight,whenheseesmy candle, he draws back his curtain, and leaves it so, till I am in bed. Itseems such company to him to know that I am there, that I often sit atmywindowforanhourormore,thathemayseeIamstillawake;andsometimesIgetupinthenighttolookatthedullmelancholylightinhislittleroom,andwonderwhetherheisawakeorsleeping.

'Thenightwillnotbelongcoming,'saidTim,'whenhewillsleep,andneverwakeagainonearth.Wehaveneversomuchasshakenhandsinallourlives;andyetIshallmisshimlikeanoldfriend.Arethereanycountryflowersthatcould interest me like these, do you think? Or do you suppose that thewitheringofahundredkindsofthechoicestflowersthatblow,calledbythehardestLatinnames thatwereever invented,wouldgivemeone fractionofthe pain that I shall feelwhen these old jugs andbottles are swept away aslumber?Country!'criedTim,withacontemptuousemphasis;'don'tyouknowthatIcouldn'thavesuchacourtundermybedroomwindow,anywhere,butinLondon?'

Withwhichinquiry,Timturnedhisback,andpretendingtobeabsorbedinhisaccounts, took an opportunity of hastilywiping his eyeswhen he supposedNicholaswaslookinganotherway.

Whether it was that Tim's accounts were more than usually intricate thatmorning,orwhetheritwasthathishabitualserenityhadbeenalittledisturbedby these recollections, it so happened that when Nicholas returned fromexecutingsomecommission,andinquiredwhetherMrCharlesCheeryblewasaloneinhisroom,Timpromptly,andwithoutthesmallesthesitation,repliedin the affirmative, although somebody had passed into the room not tenminutesbefore,andTimtookespecialandparticularprideinpreventingany

intrusionon either of thebrotherswhen theywere engagedwith anyvisitorwhatever.

'I'lltakethislettertohimatonce,'saidNicholas,'ifthat'sthecase.'Andwiththat,hewalkedtotheroomandknockedatthedoor.

Noanswer.

Anotherknock,andstillnoanswer.

'Hecan'tbehere,'thoughtNicholas.'I'lllayitonhistable.'

So,Nicholas opened the door andwalked in; andveryquickly he turned towalk out again,when he saw, to his great astonishment and discomfiture, ayoung lady upon her knees at Mr Cheeryble's feet, and Mr Cheeryblebeseechinghertorise,andentreatingathirdperson,whohadtheappearanceof theyoung lady's femaleattendant, toaddherpersuasions tohis to inducehertodoso.

Nicholasstammeredoutanawkwardapology,andwasprecipitately retiring,when the young lady, turning her head a little, presented to his view thefeaturesof the lovelygirlwhomhehadseenat theregisterofficeonhisfirstvisitlongbefore.Glancingfromhertotheattendant,herecognisedthesameclumsyservantwhohadaccompaniedherthen;andbetweenhisadmirationofthe young lady's beauty, and the confusion and surprise of this unexpectedrecognition, he stood stockstill, in such a bewildered state of surprise andembarrassmentthat,forthemoment,hewasquitebereftofthepowereithertospeakormove.

'Mydearma'ammydearyounglady,'criedbrotherCharlesinviolentagitation,'praydon'tnotanotherword,Ibeseechandentreatyou!IimploreyouIbegofyoutorise.Wewearenotalone.'

Ashespoke,heraisedtheyounglady,whostaggeredtoachairandswoonedaway.

'Shehasfainted,sir,'saidNicholas,dartingeagerlyforward.

'Poordear,poordear!'criedbrotherCharles'WhereismybrotherNed?Ned,mydearbrother,comeherepray.'

'BrotherCharles,mydearfellow,'repliedhisbrother,hurryingintotheroom,'whatistheah!what'

'Hush!hush!notawordforyourlife,brotherNed,'returnedtheother.'Ringforthe housekeeper, my dear brothercall Tim Linkinwater! Here, TimLinkinwater,sirMrNickleby,mydearsir,leavetheroom,Ibegandbeseechofyou.'

'Ithinksheisbetternow,'saidNicholas,whohadbeenwatchingthepatientsoeagerly,thathehadnotheardtherequest.

'Poorbird!'criedbrotherCharles,gentlytakingherhandinhis,andlayingherhead upon his arm. 'Brother Ned, my dear fellow, you will be surprised, Iknow, towitness this, inbusinesshours;but'herehewasagain remindedofthe presence ofNicholas, and shaking himby the hand, earnestly requestedhimtoleavetheroom,andtosendTimLinkinwaterwithoutaninstant'sdelay.

Nicholas immediately withdrew and, on his way to the countinghouse, metboth the old housekeeper and Tim Linkinwater, jostling each other in thepassage,andhurryingtothesceneofactionwithextraordinaryspeed.Withoutwaiting to hear his message, Tim Linkinwater darted into the room, andpresentlyafterwardsNicholasheardthedoorshutandlockedontheinside.

Hehadabundanceoftimetoruminateonthisdiscovery,forTimLinkinwaterwasabsentduringthegreaterpartofanhour,duringthewholeofwhichtimeNicholasthoughtofnothingbuttheyounglady,andherexceedingbeauty,andwhat could possibly have brought her there, and why they made such amysteryofit.Themorehethoughtofallthis,themoreitperplexedhim,andthemoreanxioushebecametoknowwhoandwhatshewas. 'I shouldhaveknownheramong ten thousand,' thoughtNicholas.Andwith thathewalkedupanddowntheroom,andrecallingherfaceandfigure(ofwhichhehadapeculiarlyvivid remembrance),discardedallother subjectsof reflectionanddweltuponthatalone.

AtlengthTimLinkinwatercamebackprovokinglycool,andwithpapersinhishand,andapeninhismouth,asifnothinghadhappened.

'Isshequiterecovered?'saidNicholas,impetuously.

'Who?'returnedTimLinkinwater.

'Who!'repeatedNicholas.'Theyounglady.'

'Whatdoyoumake,MrNickleby,'saidTim,takinghispenoutofhismouth,'whatdoyoumakeoffourhundredandtwentyseventimesthreethousandtwohundredandthirtyeight?'

'Nay,'returnedNicholas,'whatdoyoumakeofmyquestionfirst?Iaskedyou'

'Abouttheyounglady,'saidTimLinkinwater,puttingonhisspectacles.'Tobesure.Yes.Oh!she'sverywell.'

'Verywell,isshe?'returnedNicholas.

'Verywell,'repliedMrLinkinwater,gravely.

'Willshebeabletogohometoday?'askedNicholas.

'She'sgone,'saidTim.

'Gone!'

'Yes.'

'Ihopeshehasnotfartogo?'saidNicholas,lookingearnestlyattheother.

'Ay,'repliedtheimmovableTim,'Ihopeshehasn't.'

Nicholas hazarded one or two further remarks, but it was evident that TimLinkinwater had his own reasons for evading the subject, and that he wasdeterminedtoaffordnofurtherinformationrespectingthefairunknown,whohad awakened somuch curiosity in the breast of his young friend.Nothingdauntedbythisrepulse,Nicholasreturnedtothechargenextday,emboldenedby the circumstance of Mr Linkinwater being in a very talkative andcommunicativemood;but,directlyheresumedthetheme,Timrelapsedintoastate of most provoking taciturnity, and from answering in monosyllables,came to returning no answers at all, save such aswere to be inferred fromseveral grave nods and shrugs, which only served to whet that appetite forintelligence in Nicholas, which had already attained a most unreasonableheight.

Foiledintheseattempts,hewasfaintocontenthimselfwithwatchingfortheyoung lady's next visit, but here again he was disappointed. Day after daypassed,andshedidnotreturn.Helookedeagerlyat thesuperscriptionofallthenotesandletters,buttherewasnotoneamongthemwhichhecouldfancyto be in her handwriting. On two or three occasions he was employed onbusinesswhich tookhim toadistance, andhad formerlybeen transactedbyTimLinkinwater.Nicholascouldnothelpsuspectingthat,forsomereasonorother, hewas sent out of theway on purpose, and that the young ladywasthere inhis absence.Nothing transpired,however, to confirm this suspicion,andTimcouldnotbeentrapped intoanyconfessionoradmission tending tosupportitinthesmallestdegree.

Mysteryanddisappointmentarenotabsolutelyindispensabletothegrowthoflove, but they are, very often, its powerful auxiliaries. 'Out of sight, out ofmind,' iswell enoughas aproverb applicable to casesof friendship, thoughabsenceisnotalwaysnecessarytohollownessofheart,evenbetweenfriends,andtruthandhonesty,likepreciousstones,areperhapsmosteasilyimitatedatadistance,when thecounterfeitsoftenpass for real.Love,however, isverymaterially assisted by a warm and active imagination: which has a longmemory, andwill thrive, for a considerable time,onvery slight and sparingfood.Thusitis,thatitoftenattainsitsmostluxuriantgrowthinseparationand

under circumstancesof theutmost difficulty; and thus itwas, thatNicholas,thinkingofnothingbut theunknownyoung lady, fromday todayand fromhourtohour,began,atlast,tothinkthathewasverydesperatelyinlovewithher,andthatneverwassuchanillusedandpersecutedloverashe.

Still,thoughhelovedandlanguishedafterthemostorthodoxmodels,andwasonlydeterredfrommakingaconfidanteofKatebytheslightconsiderationsofhavingnever, in all his life, spoken to theobject ofhis passion, andhavingneverseteyesuponher,excepton twooccasions,onbothofwhichshehadcome and gone like a flash of lightningor, as Nicholas himself said, in thenumerous conversations he held with himself, like a vision of youth andbeautymuch too bright to lasthis ardour and devotion remainedwithout itsreward.Theyoungladyappearednomore;sotherewasagreatdealof lovewasted(enoughindeedtohavesetuphalfadozenyounggentlemen,as timesgo,withtheutmostdecency),andnobodywasabitthewiserforit;notevenNicholas himself,who, on the contrary, becamemore dull, sentimental, andlackadaisical,everyday.

Whilematterswereinthisstate,thefailureofacorrespondentofthebrothersCheeryble, in Germany, imposed upon Tim Linkinwater and Nicholas thenecessity of going through some very long and complicated accounts,extending over a considerable space of time. To get through themwith thegreater dispatch, Tim Linkinwater proposed that they should remain at thecountinghouse,foraweekorso,untilteno'clockatnight;tothis,asnothingdamped the zeal of Nicholas in the service of his kind patronsnot evenromance,whichhasseldombusinesshabitshecheerfullyassented.Ontheveryfirstnightoftheselaterhours,atnineexactly,therecame:nottheyoungladyherself, but her servant, who, being closetedwith brother Charles for sometime,went away, and returnednextnight at the samehour, andon thenext,andonthenextagain.

These repeated visits inflamed the curiosity ofNicholas to the very highestpitch. Tantalised and excited, beyond all bearing, and unable to fathom themysterywithoutneglectinghisduty,heconfidedthewholesecrettoNewmanNoggs,imploringhimtobeonthewatchnextnight;tofollowthegirlhome;tosetonfootsuchinquiriesrelativetothename,condition,andhistoryofhermistress, as he could,without exciting suspicion; and to report the result tohimwiththeleastpossibledelay.

Beyond allmeasure proud of this commission,NewmanNoggs took up hispost, in the square, on the following evening, a full hourbefore theneedfultime,andplantinghimselfbehindthepumpandpullinghishatoverhiseyes,began his watch with an elaborate appearance of mystery, admirablycalculatedtoexcitethesuspicionofallbeholders.Indeed,diversservantgirls

whocame todrawwater,andsundry littleboyswhostopped todrinkat theladle,were almost scared out of their senses, by the apparition ofNewmanNoggslookingstealthilyroundthepump,withnothingofhimvisiblebuthisface,andthatwearingtheexpressionofameditativeOgre.

Punctual to her time, themessenger came again, and, after an interview ofrather longer duration than usual, departed. Newman had made twoappointments with Nicholas: one for the next evening, conditional on hissuccess: and one the next night following, which was to be kept under allcircumstances. The first night hewas not at the place ofmeeting (a certaintavernabouthalfwaybetweenthecityandGoldenSquare),butonthesecondnighthewastherebeforeNicholas,andreceivedhimwithopenarms.

'It's all right,'whisperedNewman. 'Sitdown.Sitdown, there's adearyoungman,andletmetellyouallaboutit.'

Nicholas needed no second invitation, and eagerly inquired what was thenews.

'There'sagreatdealofnews,'saidNewman,inaflutterofexultation.'It'sallright.Don'tbeanxious.Idon'tknowwheretobegin.Nevermindthat.Keepupyourspirits.It'sallright.'

'Well?'saidNicholaseagerly.'Yes?'

'Yes,'repliedNewman.'That'sit.'

'What'sit?'saidNicholas.'Thenamethename,mydearfellow!'

'Thename'sBobster,'repliedNewman.

'Bobster!'repeatedNicholas,indignantly.

'That'sthename,'saidNewman.'Irememberitbylobster.'

'Bobster!'repeatedNicholas,moreemphaticallythanbefore.'Thatmustbetheservant'sname.'

'No, it an't,' said Newman, shaking his head with great positiveness. 'MissCeciliaBobster.'

'Cecilia, eh?' returnedNicholas,muttering the two names together over andoveragainineveryvarietyoftone,totrytheeffect. 'Well,Ceciliaisaprettyname.'

'Very.Andaprettycreaturetoo,'saidNewman.

'Who?'saidNicholas.

'MissBobster.'

'Why,wherehaveyouseenher?'demandedNicholas.

'Nevermind,mydearboy,' retortedNoggs, clappinghimon the shoulder. 'IHAVEseenher.Youshallseeher.I'vemanageditall.'

'MydearNewman,'criedNicholas,graspinghishand,'areyouserious?'

'Iam,'repliedNewman.'Imeanitall.Everyword.Youshallseehertomorrownight.Sheconsentstohearyouspeakforyourself.Ipersuadedher.Sheisallaffability,goodness,sweetness,andbeauty.'

'I know she is; I know shemust be, Newman!' saidNicholas, wringing hishand.

'Youareright,'returnedNewman.

'Wheredoesshe live?'criedNicholas. 'Whathaveyou learntofherhistory?Hassheafathermotheranybrotherssisters?Whatdidshesay?Howcameyoutoseeher?Wasshenotverymuchsurprised?DidyousayhowpassionatelyIhavelongedtospeaktoher?DidyoutellherwhereIhadseenher?Didyoutell her how, and when, and where, and how long, and how often, I havethoughtofthatsweetfacewhichcameuponmeinmybitterestdistresslikeaglimpseofsomebetterworlddidyou,Newmandidyou?'

PoorNoggsliterallygaspedforbreathasthisfloodofquestionsrusheduponhim, andmoved spasmodically in his chair at every fresh inquiry, staring atNicholasmeanwhilewithamostludicrousexpressionofperplexity.

'No,'saidNewman,'Ididn'ttellherthat.'

'Didn'ttellherwhich?'askedNicholas.

'About the glimpse of the betterworld,' saidNewman. 'I didn't tell herwhoyouwere,either,orwhereyou'dseenher.Isaidyoulovedhertodistraction.'

'That's true, Newman,' replied Nicholas, with his characteristic vehemence.'HeavenknowsIdo!'

'Isaidtoo,thatyouhadadmiredherforalongtimeinsecret,'saidNewman.

'Yes,yes.Whatdidshesaytothat?'askedNicholas.

'Blushed,'saidNewman.

'Tobe sure.Of course shewould,' saidNicholas approvingly.Newman thenwent on to say, that the young ladywas an only child, that hermotherwasdead,thatsheresidedwithherfather,andthatshehadbeeninducedtoallowherloverasecret interview,at theintercessionofherservant,whohadgreatinfluencewithher.Hefurtherrelatedhowitrequiredmuchmovingandgreat

eloquence to bring the young lady to this pass; how it was expresslyunderstoodthatshemerelyaffordedNicholasanopportunityofdeclaringhispassion;andhowshebynomeanspledgedherselftobefavourablyimpressedwith his attentions. The mystery of her visits to the brothers Cheerybleremainedwhollyunexplained,forNewmanhadnotalludedtothem,eitherinhis preliminary conversations with the servant or his subsequent interviewwiththemistress,merelyremarkingthathehadbeeninstructedtowatchthegirlhomeandpleadhisyoungfriend'scause,andnotsayinghowfarhehadfollowed her, or from what point. But Newman hinted that from what hadfallenfromtheconfidante,hehadbeenledtosuspectthattheyoungladyledaverymiserable andunhappy life, under the strict control of her onlyparent,who was of a violent and brutal temper; a circumstance which he thoughtmightinsomedegreeaccount,bothforherhavingsoughttheprotectionandfriendship of the brothers, and her suffering herself to be prevailed upon togrant thepromisedinterview.Thelastheheldtobeaverylogicaldeductionfrom the premises, inasmuch as it was but natural to suppose that a younglady, whose present condition was so unenviable, would be more thancommonlydesiroustochangeit.

Itappeared,onfurtherquestioningforitwasonlybyaverylongandarduousprocess that all this could be got out of Newman Noggsthat Newman, inexplanation of his shabby appearance, had represented himself as being, forcertain wise and indispensable purposes connected with that intrigue, indisguise;and,beingquestionedhowhehadcometoexceedhiscommissionsofarastoprocureaninterview,heresponded,thattheladyappearingwillingtogrant it, he considered himself bound, both in duty and gallantry, to availhimself of such a golden means of enabling Nicholas to prosecute hisaddresses.Aftertheseandallpossiblequestionshadbeenaskedandansweredtwentytimesover,theyparted,undertakingtomeetonthefollowingnightathalfpast ten, for the purpose of fulfilling the appointment; which was foreleveno'clock.

'Thingscomeaboutverystrangely!' thoughtNicholas,ashewalkedhome. 'Inevercontemplatedanythingofthiskind;neverdreamtofthepossibilityofit.ToknowsomethingofthelifeofoneinwhomIfeltsuchinterest;toseeherinthestreet,topassthehouseinwhichshelived,tomeethersometimesinherwalks,tohopethatadaymightcomewhenImightbeinaconditiontotellherofmy love, thiswas the utmost extent ofmy thoughts.Now, howeverbut Ishouldbeafool,indeed,torepineatmyowngoodfortune!'

Still,Nicholaswasdissatisfied;andtherewasmoreinthedissatisfactionthanmere revulsion of feeling. He was angry with the young lady for being soeasilywon,'because,'reasonedNicholas,'itisnotasifsheknewitwasI,butitmighthavebeenanybody,'whichwascertainlynotpleasant.Thenextmoment,

hewasangrywithhimselfforentertainingsuchthoughts,arguingthatnothingbut goodness could dwell in such a temple, and that the behaviour of thebrotherssufficientlyshowedtheestimationinwhichtheyheldher.'Thefactis,she'samysteryaltogether,'saidNicholas.Thiswasnotmoresatisfactorythanhispreviouscourseof reflection,andonlydrovehimoutuponanewseaofspeculationandconjecture,wherehetossedandtumbled,ingreatdiscomfortofmind,untiltheclockstruckten,andthehourofmeetingdrewnigh.

Nicholashaddressedhimselfwithgreatcare,andevenNewmanNoggshadtrimmed himself up a little; his coat presenting the phenomenon of twoconsecutive buttons, and the supplementary pins being inserted at tolerablyregular intervals. He wore his hat, too, in the newest taste, with apockethandkerchiefinthecrown,andatwistedendofitstragglingoutbehindafter the fashion of a pigtail, though he could scarcely lay claim to theingenuity of inventing this latter decoration, inasmuch as he was utterlyunconscious of it: being in a nervous and excited conditionwhich renderedhimquiteinsensibletoeverythingbutthegreatobjectoftheexpedition.

They traversed the streets in profound silence; and afterwalking at a roundpaceforsomedistance,arrivedinone,ofagloomyappearanceandverylittlefrequented,neartheEdgewareRoad.

'Numbertwelve,'saidNewman.

'Oh!'repliedNicholas,lookingabouthim.

'Goodstreet?'saidNewman.

'Yes,'returnedNicholas.'Ratherdull.'

Newman made no answer to this remark, but, halting abruptly, plantedNicholaswithhisbacktosomearearailings,andgavehimtounderstandthathewas towait there,withoutmovinghandorfoot,until itwassatisfactorilyascertainedthatthecoastwasclear.Thisdone,Noggslimpedawaywithgreatalacrity; looking over his shoulder every instant, tomake quite certain thatNicholaswasobeyinghisdirections;and,ascendingthestepsofahousesomehalfdozendoorsoff,waslosttoview.

After a short delay, he reappeared, and limping back again, haltedmidway,andbeckonedNicholastofollowhim.

'Well?'saidNicholas,advancingtowardshimontiptoe.

'Allright,'repliedNewman,inhighglee.'Allready;nobodyathome.Couldn'tbebetter.Ha!ha!'

With this fortifying assurance, he stolepast a streetdoor, onwhichNicholas

caughtaglimpseofabrassplate,with'BOBSTER,'inverylargeletters;and,stopping at the areagate, which was open, signed to his young friend todescend.

'What the devil!' cried Nicholas, drawing back. 'Are we to sneak into thekitchen,asifwecameaftertheforks?'

'Hush!'repliedNewman.'OldBobsterferociousTurk.He'dkill 'emallboxtheyounglady'searshedoesoften.'

'What!' criedNicholas, inhighwrath, 'doyoumean to tellme thatanymanwoulddaretoboxtheearsofsucha'

Hehadnotimetosingthepraisesofhismistress,justthen,forNewmangavehimagentlepushwhichhadnearlyprecipitatedhimtothebottomoftheareasteps. Thinking it best to take the hint in good part, Nicholas descended,without further remonstrance, but with a countenance bespeaking anythingrather than the hope and rapture of a passionate lover.Newman followedhewouldhavefollowedheadfirst,butforthetimelyassistanceofNicholasand,taking his hand, led him through a stone passage, profoundly dark, into abackkitchen or cellar, of the blackest andmost pitchy obscurity,where theystopped.

'Well!'saidNicholas,inadiscontentedwhisper,'thisisnotall,Isuppose,isit?'

'No,no,'rejoinedNoggs;'they'llbeheredirectly.It'sallright.'

'Iamgladtohearit,'saidNicholas.'Ishouldn'thavethoughtit,Iconfess.'

Theyexchangedno furtherwords, and thereNicholas stood, listening to theloud breathing of Newman Noggs, and imagining that his nose seemed toglowlikearedhotcoal,evenin themidstof thedarknesswhichenshroudedthem.Suddenlythesoundofcautiousfootstepsattractedhisear,anddirectlyafterwardsafemalevoiceinquiredifthegentlemanwasthere.

'Yes,' replied Nicholas, turning towards the corner from which the voiceproceeded.'Whoisthat?'

'Onlyme,sir,'repliedthevoice.'Nowifyouplease,ma'am.'

Agleamoflightshoneintotheplace,andpresentlytheservantgirlappeared,bearing a light, and followed by her young mistress, who seemed to beoverwhelmedbymodestyandconfusion.

Atsightoftheyounglady,Nicholasstartedandchangedcolour;hisheartbeatviolently, and he stood rooted to the spot. At that instant, and almostsimultaneouslywithherarrivalandthatofthecandle,therewasheardaloudandfuriousknockingatthestreetdoor,whichcausedNewmanNoggstojump

up,withgreatagility,fromabeerbarrelonwhichhehadbeenseatedastride,and to exclaim abruptly, andwith a face of ashy paleness, 'Bobster, by theLord!'

Theyoungladyshrieked,theattendantwrungherhands,Nicholasgazedfromone to the other in apparent stupefaction, and Newman hurried to and fro,thrusting his hands into all his pockets successively, and drawing out theliningsofeveryoneintheexcessofhisirresolution.Itwasbutamoment,buttheconfusioncrowdedintothatonemomentnoimaginationcanexaggerate.

'Leavethehouse,forHeaven'ssake!Wehavedonewrong,wedeserveitall,'criedtheyounglady.'Leavethehouse,orIamruinedandundoneforever.'

'Will you hearme say but oneword?' criedNicholas. 'Only one. I will notdetainyou.Willyouhearmesayoneword,inexplanationofthismischance?'

ButNicholasmightaswellhavespokentothewind,fortheyounglady,withdistracted looks, hurried up the stairs. He would have followed her, butNewman,twistinghishandinhiscoatcollar,draggedhimtowardsthepassagebywhichtheyhadentered.

'Letmego,Newman,intheDevil'sname!'criedNicholas.'Imustspeaktoher.Iwill!Iwillnotleavethishousewithout.'

'Reputationcharacterviolenceconsider,'saidNewman,clingingroundhimwithbotharms,andhurryinghimaway. 'Let themopen thedoor.We'llgo,aswecame,directlyit'sshut.Come.Thisway.Here.'

OverpoweredbytheremonstrancesofNewman,andthetearsandprayersofthe girl, and the tremendous knocking above, which had never ceased,Nicholasallowedhimselftobehurriedoff;and,preciselyasMrBobstermadehisentrancebythestreetdoor,heandNoggsmadetheirexitbytheareagate.

Theyhurriedaway, throughseveralstreets,withoutstoppingorspeaking.Atlast,theyhaltedandconfrontedeachotherwithblankandruefulfaces.

'Nevermind,' saidNewman,gasping forbreath. 'Don't be cast down. It's allright.Morefortunatenexttime.Itcouldn'tbehelped.IdidMYpart.'

'Excellently,' repliedNicholas, takinghishand. 'Excellently,andlikethetrueandzealous friendyouare.Onlymind, I amnotdisappointed,Newman,andfeeljustasmuchindebtedtoyouonlyITWASTHEWRONGLADY.'

'Eh?'criedNewmanNoggs.'Takeninbytheservant?'

'Newman,Newman,'saidNicholas,layinghishanduponhisshoulder:'itwasthewrongservanttoo.'

Newman's underjawdropped, and he gazed atNicholas,with his sound eyefixedfastandmotionlessinhishead.

'Don't takeit toheart,'saidNicholas; 'it'sofnoconsequence;youseeIdon'tcareaboutit;youfollowedthewrongperson,that'sall.'

ThatWAS all. Whether Newman Noggs had looked round the pump, in aslantingdirection,solong,thathissightbecameimpaired;orwhether,findingthat there was time to spare, he had recruited himself with a few drops ofsomething stronger than the pump could yieldby whatsoever means it hadcometopass,thiswashismistake.AndNicholaswenthometobrooduponit,and to meditate upon the charms of the unknown young lady, now as farbeyondhisreachasever.

CHAPTER41

Containing some Romantic Passages between Mrs Nickleby and theGentlemanintheSmallclothesnextDoor

Eversinceher lastmomentousconversationwithherson,MrsNicklebyhadbegun to display unusual care in the adornment of her person, graduallysuperadding to those staid andmatronly habiliments, which had, up to thattime,formedherordinaryattire,avarietyofembellishmentsanddecorations,slight perhaps in themselves, but, taken together, and considered withreference to the subject of her disclosure, of nomean importance.Evenherblackdressassumedsomethingofadeadlylivelyair fromthe jauntystyle inwhichitwasworn;and,ekedoutasitslingeringattractionswere;byaprudentdisposal, here and there, of certain juvenile ornaments of little or no value,which had, for that reason alone, escaped the general wreck and beenpermitted to slumber peacefully in odd corners of old drawers and boxeswhere daylight seldom shone, hermourning garments assumed quite a newcharacter.Frombeingtheoutwardtokensofrespectandsorrowforthedead,they became converted into signals of very slaughterous and killing designsupontheliving.

MrsNicklebymighthavebeenstimulatedtothisproceedingbyaloftysenseofduty,and impulsesofunquestionableexcellence.Shemight,by this time,havebecome impressedwith thesinfulnessof long indulgence inunavailingwoe,orthenecessityofsettingaproperexampleofneatnessanddecorumtoher blooming daughter. Considerations of duty and responsibility apart, thechange might have taken its rise in feelings of the purest and most

disinterestedcharity.ThegentlemannextdoorhadbeenvilifiedbyNicholas;rudely stigmatised as a dotard and an idiot; and for these attacks upon hisunderstanding,MrsNicklebywas,insomesort,accountable.ShemighthavefeltthatitwastheactofagoodChristiantoshowbyallmeansinherpower,thattheabusedgentlemanwasneithertheonenortheother.Andwhatbettermeanscouldsheadopt,towardssovirtuousandlaudableanend,thanprovingto all men, in her own person, that his passion was the most rational andreasonableintheworld,andjusttheveryresult,ofallothers,whichdiscreetand thinking personsmight have foreseen, from her incautiously displayingher matured charms, without reserve, under the very eye, as it were, of anardentandtoosusceptibleman?

'Ah!'saidMrsNickleby,gravelyshakingherhead;'ifNicholasknewwhathispoordearpapasufferedbeforewewereengaged,whenIusedtohatehim,hewould have a little more feeling. Shall I ever forget the morning I lookedscornfullyathimwhenheofferedtocarrymyparasol?Orthatnight,whenIfrownedathim?Itwasamercyhedidn'temigrate.Itverynearlydrovehimtoit.'

Whetherthedeceasedmightnothavebeenbetteroffifhehademigratedinhisbachelor days,was a questionwhich his relict did not stop to consider; forKateenteredtheroom,withherworkbox,inthisstageofherreflections;andamuchslighterinterruption,ornointerruptionatall,wouldhavedivertedMrsNickleby'sthoughtsintoanewchannelatanytime.

'Kate,mydear,' saidMrsNickleby; 'Idon'tknowhowit is,buta finewarmsummerdaylikethis,withthebirdssingingineverydirection,alwaysputsmeinmindofroastpig,withsageandonionsauce,andmadegravy.'

'That'sacuriousassociationofideas,isitnot,mama?'

'Uponmyword,mydear,Idon'tknow,'repliedMrsNickleby. 'Roastpig;letmesee.On theday fiveweeksafteryouwerechristened,wehada roastno,thatcouldn'thavebeenapig,either,because I recollect therewereapairofthemtocarve,andyourpoorpapaandIcouldneverhave thoughtofsittingdowntotwopigstheymusthavebeenpartridges.Roastpig!Ihardlythinkweevercouldhavehadone,nowIcometoremember,foryourpapacouldneverbearthesightofthemintheshops,andusedtosaythattheyalwaysputhiminmindofverylittlebabies,onlythepigshadmuchfairercomplexions;andhehad a horror of little babies, too, because he couldn't very well afford anyincrease to his family, andhad a natural dislike to the subject. It's veryoddnow, what can have put that in my head! I recollect dining once at MrsBevan's,inthatbroadstreetroundthecornerbythecoachmaker's,wherethetipsymanfellthroughthecellarflapofanemptyhousenearlyaweekbeforethequarterday,andwasn't foundtill thenewtenantwent inandwehadroast

pigthere.Itmustbethat,Ithink,thatremindsmeofit,especiallyastherewasa little bird in the room thatwould keepon singing all the timeof dinneratleast, not a little bird, for itwas a parrot, and he didn't sing exactly, for hetalkedand sworedreadfully: but I think itmustbe that. Indeed I am sure itmust.Shouldn'tyousayso,mydear?'

'I should say there was not a doubt about it, mama,' returned Kate, with acheerfulsmile.

'No;butDOyouthinkso,Kate?'saidMrsNickleby,withasmuchgravityasifitwereaquestionofthemostimminentandthrillinginterest.'Ifyoudon't,saysoatonce,youknow;becauseit'sjustaswelltobecorrect,particularlyonapointof thiskind,which isverycuriousandworthsettlingwhileone thinksaboutit.'

Kate laughingly replied that shewasquiteconvinced;andashermamastillappearedundeterminedwhetheritwasnotabsolutelyessentialthatthesubjectshould be renewed, proposed that they should take their work into thesummerhouse, and enjoy the beauty of the afternoon.MrsNickleby readilyassented,andtothesummerhousetheyrepaired,withoutfurtherdiscussion.

'Well,Iwillsay,'observedMrsNickleby,asshetookherseat,'thatthereneverwassuchagoodcreatureasSmike.Uponmyword,thepainshehastakeninputting this littlearbour to rights, and training the sweetest flowersabout it,are beyond anything I could haveIwish hewouldn't putALL the gravel onyourside,Kate,mydear,though,andleavenothingbutmouldforme.'

'Dearmama,'returnedKate,hastily,'takethisseatdotoobligeme,mama.'

'No, indeed,mydear. I shallkeepmyownside,' saidMrsNickleby. 'Well! Ideclare!'

Katelookedupinquiringly.

'If he hasn't been,' saidMrsNickleby, 'andgot, from somewhere or other, acoupleofrootsofthoseflowersthatIsaidIwassofondof, theothernight,andaskedyou ifyouwerenotno, thatYOUsaidYOUwereso fondof, theothernight,andaskedmeifIwasn'tit'sthesamething.Now,uponmyword,Itakethatasverykindandattentiveindeed!Idon'tsee,'addedMrsNickleby,lookingnarrowlyabouther,'anyofthemonmyside,butIsupposetheygrowbest near the gravel. Youmay depend upon it they do, Kate, and that's thereasontheyareallnearyou,andhehasput thegravel there,becauseit's thesunnyside.Uponmyword,that'sveryclevernow!Ishouldn'thavehadhalfasmuchthoughtmyself!'

'Mama,'saidKate,bendingoverherworksothatherfacewasalmosthidden,

'beforeyouweremarried'

'Dear me, Kate,' interrupted Mrs Nickleby, 'what in the name of goodnessgraciousnessmakes you fly off to the time before Iwasmarried,when I'mtalkingtoyouabouthisthoughtfulnessandattentiontome?Youdon'tseemtotakethesmallestinterestinthegarden.'

'Oh!mama,'saidKate,raisingherfaceagain,'youknowIdo.'

'Well then, my dear, why don't you praise the neatness and prettiness withwhichit'skept?'saidMrsNickleby.'Howveryoddyouare,Kate!'

'Idopraiseit,mama,'answeredKate,gently.'Poorfellow!'

'Iscarcelyeverhearyou,mydear,'retortedMrsNickleby;'that'sallI'vegottosay.'Bythistimethegoodladyhadbeenalongwhileupononetopic,soshefellatonceintoherdaughter'slittletrap,iftrapitwere,andinquiredwhatshehadbeengoingtosay.

'About what, mama?' said Kate, who had apparently quite forgotten herdiversion.

'Lor,Kate,mydear,'returnedhermother,'why,you'reasleeporstupid!AboutthetimebeforeIwasmarried.'

'Ohyes!'saidKate, 'Iremember.Iwasgoingtoask,mama,beforeyouweremarried,hadyoumanysuitors?'

'Suitors, my dear!' cried Mrs Nickleby, with a smile of wonderfulcomplacency.'Firstandlast,Kate,Imusthavehadadozenatleast.'

'Mama!'returnedKate,inatoneofremonstrance.

'Ihadindeed,mydear,'saidMrsNickleby;'notincludingyourpoorpapa,orayounggentlemanwhousedtogo,atthattime,tothesamedancingschool,andwho WOULD send gold watches and bracelets to our house in giltedgedpaper,(whichwerealwaysreturned,)andwhoafterwardsunfortunatelywentouttoBotanyBayinacadetshipaconvictshipImeanandescapedintoabushandkilledsheep,(Idon'tknowhowtheygotthere,)andwasgoingtobehung,onlyheaccidentallychokedhimself,andthegovernmentpardonedhim.ThentherewasyoungLukin,'saidMrsNickleby,beginningwithherleftthumbandcheckingoffthenamesonherfingers'MogleyTipslarkCabberySmifser'

Havingnowreachedherlittlefinger,MrsNicklebywascarryingtheaccountovertotheotherhand,whenaloud'Hem!'whichappearedtocomefromthevery foundation of the gardenwall, gave both herself and her daughter aviolentstart.

'Mama!whatwasthat?'saidKate,inalowtoneofvoice.

'Upon my word, my dear,' returned Mrs Nickleby, considerably startled,'unlessitwasthegentlemanbelongingtothenexthouse,Idon'tknowwhatitcouldpossibly'

'Ahem!'criedthesamevoice;andthat,notinthetoneofanordinaryclearingof the throat, but in a kind of bellow,whichwoke up all the echoes in theneighbourhood, andwas prolonged to an extentwhichmust havemade theunseenbellowerquiteblackintheface.

'Iunderstanditnow,mydear,'saidMrsNickleby,layingherhandonKate's;'don't be alarmed, my love, it's not directed to you, and is not intended tofrightenanybody.Letusgiveeverybody theirdue,Kate; I ambound to saythat.'

So saying, Mrs Nickleby nodded her head, and patted the back of herdaughter'shand,agreatmanytimes,andlookedasifshecouldtellsomethingvastlyimportantifshechose,buthadselfdenial,thankHeaven;andwouldn'tdoit.

'Whatdoyoumean,mama?'demandedKate,inevidentsurprise.

'Don't be flurried, my dear,' replied Mrs Nickleby, looking towards thegardenwall,'foryouseeI'mnot,andifitwouldbeexcusableinanybodytobeflurried,itcertainlywouldunderallthecircumstancesbeexcusableinme,butIamnot,Katenotatall.'

'Itseemsdesignedtoattractourattention,mama,'saidKate.

'It is designed to attract our attention, my dear; at least,' rejoined MrsNickleby, drawing herself up, and patting her daughter's handmore blandlythanbefore, 'toattract theattentionofoneofus.Hem!youneedn'tbeatalluneasy,mydear.'

Katelookedverymuchperplexed,andwasapparentlyabouttoaskforfurtherexplanation,whenashoutingandscufflingnoise,asofanelderlygentlemanwhooping,andkickinguphis legson loosegravel,withgreatviolence,washeard to proceed from the same direction as the former sounds; and beforetheyhadsubsided,alargecucumberwasseentoshootupintheairwiththevelocityofaskyrocket,whenceitdescended,tumblingoverandover,untilitfellatMrsNickleby'sfeet.

This remarkableappearancewassucceededbyanotherofapreciselysimilardescription;thenafinevegetablemarrow,ofunusuallylargedimensions,wasseentowhirlaloft,andcometopplingdown;then,severalcucumbersshotuptogether; and, finally, the air was darkened by a shower of onions,

turnipradishes, and other small vegetables,which fell rolling and scattering,andbumpingabout,inalldirections.

AsKate rose fromherseat, insomealarm,andcaughthermother'shand torunwithherintothehouse,shefeltherselfratherretardedthanassistedinherintention; and following the direction of Mrs Nickleby's eyes, was quiteterrifiedbytheapparitionofanoldblackvelvetcap,which,byslowdegrees,as if itswearerwereascendinga ladderorpairofsteps,roseabovethewalldividingtheirgardenfromthatofthenextcottage,(which,liketheirown,wasadetachedbuilding,)andwasgraduallyfollowedbyaverylargehead,andanoldface,inwhichwereapairofmostextraordinarygreyeyes:verywild,verywideopen,androllingintheirsockets,withadull,languishing,leeringlook,mostuglytobehold.

'Mama!'criedKate,reallyterrifiedforthemoment,'whydoyoustop,whydoyouloseaninstant?Mama,praycomein!'

'Kate,mydear,' returnedhermother, still holdingback, 'howcanyoube sofoolish?I'mashamedofyou.Howdoyousupposeyouareevertogetthroughlife, if you're such a coward as this? What do you want, sir?' said MrsNickleby, addressing the intruderwitha sortof simperingdispleasure. 'Howdareyoulookintothisgarden?'

'Queenofmysoul,'repliedthestranger,foldinghishandstogether,'thisgobletsip!'

'Nonsense,sir,'saidMrsNickleby.'Kate,mylove,praybequiet.'

'Won't you sip the goblet?' urged the stranger,with his head imploringly ononeside,andhisrighthandonhisbreast.'Oh,dosipthegoblet!'

'Ishallnotconsent todoanythingof thekind,sir,' saidMrsNickleby. 'Pray,begone.'

'Why is it,' said theoldgentleman,comingupastephigher,and leaninghiselbowson thewall,withasmuchcomplacencyas ifhewere lookingoutofwindow,'whyisitthatbeautyisalwaysobdurate,evenwhenadmirationisashonourable and respectful as mine?' Here he smiled, kissed his hand, andmadeseverallowbows.'Isitowingtothebees,who,whenthehoneyseasonisover,andtheyaresupposedtohavebeenkilledwithbrimstone,inrealityflytoBarbaryandlullthecaptiveMoorstosleepwiththeirdrowsysongs?Orisit,' headded,droppinghisvoicealmost toawhisper, 'inconsequenceof thestatue at Charing Cross having been lately seen, on the Stock Exchange atmidnight,walkingarminarmwiththePumpfromAldgate,inaridinghabit?'

'Mama,'murmuredKate,'doyouhearhim?'

'Hush,mydear!'repliedMrsNickleby,inthesametoneofvoice, 'heisverypolite,andI think thatwasaquotationfromthepoets.Pray,don'tworrymesoyou'llpinchmyarmblackandblue.Goaway,sir!'

'Quiteaway?'saidthegentleman,withalanguishinglook.'Oh!quiteaway?'

'Yes,' returnedMrs Nickleby, 'certainly. You have no business here. This isprivateproperty,sir;yououghttoknowthat.'

'Idoknow,'saidtheoldgentleman,layinghisfingeronhisnose,withanairoffamiliarity,mostreprehensible,'thatthisisasacredandenchantedspot,wherethe most divine charms'here he kissed his hand and bowed again'waftmellifluousness over the neighbours' gardens, and force the fruit andvegetablesintoprematureexistence.ThatfactIamacquaintedwith.Butwillyoupermitme,fairestcreature,toaskyouonequestion,intheabsenceoftheplanet Venus, who has gone on business to the Horse Guards, and wouldotherwisejealousofyoursuperiorcharmsinterposebetweenus?'

'Kate,' observedMrs Nickleby, turning to her daughter, 'it's very awkward,positively.Ireallydon'tknowwhattosaytothisgentleman.Oneoughttobecivil,youknow.'

'Dearmama,' rejoinedKate, 'don'tsayaword tohim,but letusrunawayasfastaswecan,andshutourselvesuptillNicholascomeshome.'

MrsNicklebylookedverygrand,nottosaycontemptuous,atthishumiliatingproposal; and, turning to the old gentleman, who hadwatched them duringthesewhisperswithabsorbingeagerness,said:

'Ifyouwillconductyourself,sir, likethegentlemanIshouldimagineyoutobe, from your language andandappearance, (quite the counterpart of yourgrandpapa,Kate,mydear,inhisbestdays,)andwillputyourquestiontomeinplainwords,Iwillanswerit.'

IfMrsNickleby'sexcellentpapahadborne,inhisbestdays,aresemblancetotheneighbournowlookingoverthewall,hemusthavebeen,tosaytheleast,averyqueerlookingold gentleman in his prime.PerhapsKate thought so, forsheventuredtoglanceathislivingportraitwithsomeattention,ashetookoffhisblackvelvetcap,and,exhibitingaperfectlybaldhead,madealongseriesof bows, each accompaniedwith a fresh kiss of the hand.After exhaustinghimself, to all appearance, with this fatiguing performance, he covered hisheadoncemore, pulled the cap very carefully over the tips of his ears, andresuminghisformerattitude,said,

'Thequestionis'

Herehebrokeofftolookroundineverydirection,andsatisfyhimselfbeyondall doubt that there were no listeners near. Assured that there were not, hetappedhisnoseseveral times,accompanyingtheactionwithacunninglook,as thoughcongratulatinghimselfonhiscaution;andstretchingouthisneck,saidinaloudwhisper,

'Areyouaprincess?'

'Youaremockingme,sir,' repliedMrsNickleby,makingafeintofretreatingtowardsthehouse.

'No,butareyou?'saidtheoldgentleman.

'YouknowIamnot,sir,'repliedMrsNickleby.

'ThenareyouanyrelationtotheArchbishopofCanterbury?'inquiredtheoldgentlemanwithgreatanxiety,'ortothePopeofRome?OrtheSpeakeroftheHouseofCommons?Forgiveme,ifIamwrong,butIwastoldyouwerenieceto theCommissioners of Paving, and daughterinlaw to theLordMayor andCourtofCommonCouncil,whichwouldaccountforyourrelationship toallthree.'

'Whoever has spread such reports, sir,' returned Mrs Nickleby, with somewarmth,'hastakengreatlibertieswithmyname,andonewhichIamsuremysonNicholas,ifhewasawareofit,wouldnotallowforaninstant.Theidea!'said Mrs Nickleby, drawing herself up, 'niece to the Commissioners ofPaving!'

'Pray,mama,comeaway!'whisperedKate.

'"Praymama!"Nonsense,Kate,'saidMrsNickleby,angrily,'butthat'sjusttheway.IftheyhadsaidIwasniecetoapipingbullfinch,whatwouldyoucare?ButIhavenosympathy,'whimperedMrsNickleby.'Idon'texpectit,that'sonething.'

'Tears!'criedtheoldgentleman,withsuchanenergeticjump,thathefelldowntwo or three steps and grated his chin against the wall. 'Catch the crystalglobulescatch'embottle'emupcork'emtightputsealingwaxonthetopseal'emwithacupidlabel 'em"Bestquality"andstow 'emaway in thefourteenbinn,withabarofirononthetoptokeepthethunderoff!'

Issuing these commands, as if there were a dozen attendants all activelyengagedintheirexecution,heturnedhisvelvetcapinsideout,putitonwithgreatdignitysoas toobscurehis righteyeand threefourthsofhisnose,andstickinghis arms akimbo, lookedvery fiercely at a sparrowhardby, till thebird flew away, when he put his cap in his pocket with an air of greatsatisfaction, and addressed himself with respectful demeanour to Mrs

Nickleby.

'Beautiful madam,' such were his words, 'if I have made any mistake withregardtoyourfamilyorconnections,Ihumblybeseechyoutopardonme.IfIsupposedyoutoberelatedtoForeignPowersorNativeBoards,itisbecauseyouhaveamanner,acarriage,adignity,whichyouwillexcusemysayingthatnonebutyourself(withthesingleexceptionperhapsofthetragicmuse,whenplayingextemporaneouslyonthebarrelorganbeforetheEastIndiaCompany)canparallel.Iamnotayouth,ma'am,asyousee;andalthoughbeingslikeyoucannevergrowold,Iventuretopresumethatwearefittedforeachother.'

'Really,Kate,mylove!'saidMrsNicklebyfaintly,andlookinganotherway.

'I have estates, ma'am,' said the old gentleman, flourishing his right handnegligently,asifhemadeverylightofsuchmatters,andspeakingveryfast;'jewels, lighthouses, fishponds, awhalery ofmy own in theNorth Sea, andseveral oysterbeds of great profit in the PacificOcean. If youwill have thekindnesstostepdowntotheRoyalExchangeandtotakethecockedhatoffthestoutest beadle's head, you will find my card in the lining of the crown,wrappedup in apieceofbluepaper.Mywalkingstick is also tobe seenonapplication to the chaplain of the House of Commons, who is strictlyforbiddentotakeanymoneyforshowingit.Ihaveenemiesaboutme,ma'am,'he looked towards his house and spoke very low, 'who attack me on alloccasions,andwishtosecuremyproperty.Ifyoublessmewithyourhandandheart, you can apply to the Lord Chancellor or call out the military ifnecessarysendingmytoothpicktothecommanderinchiefwillbesufficientandsoclearthehouseofthembeforetheceremonyisperformed.Afterthat,love,blissandrapture;rapture,loveandbliss.Bemine,bemine!'

Repeating these last words with great rapture and enthusiasm, the oldgentlemanputonhisblackvelvetcapagain,andlookingupintotheskyinahasty manner, said something that was not quite intelligible concerning aballoonheexpected,andwhichwasratherafteritstime.

'Bemine,bemine!'repeatedtheoldgentleman.

'Kate,mydear,'saidMrsNickleby,'Ihavehardlythepowertospeak;butitisnecessaryforthehappinessofallpartiesthatthismattershouldbesetatrestforever.'

'Surelythereisnonecessityforyoutosayoneword,mama?'reasonedKate.

'You will allowme, my dear, if you please, to judge for myself,' saidMrsNickleby.

'Bemine,bemine!'criedtheoldgentleman.

'Itcanscarcelybeexpected,sir,'saidMrsNickleby,fixinghereyesmodestlyontheground,'thatIshouldtellastrangerwhetherIfeelflatteredandobligedby such proposals, or not. They certainly are made under very singularcircumstances;stillatthesametime,asfarasitgoes,andtoacertainextentofcourse'(MrsNickleby'scustomaryqualification),'theymustbegratifyingandagreeabletoone'sfeelings.'

'Be mine, be mine,' cried the old gentleman. 'Gog and Magog, Gog andMagog.Bemine,bemine!'

'Itwill be sufficient forme to say, sir,' resumedMrsNickleby,with perfectseriousness'andI'msureyou'llseetheproprietyoftakingananswerandgoingawaythatIhavemadeupmymindtoremainawidow,andtodevotemyselftomy children. Youmay not suppose I am the mother of two childrenindeedmanypeoplehavedoubtedit,andsaidthatnothingonearthcouldevermake'embelieveitpossiblebutitisthecase,andtheyarebothgrownup.Weshallbeveryglad tohaveyouforaneighbourveryglad;delighted, I'msurebut inanyothercharacterit'squiteimpossible,quite.Astomybeingyoungenoughtomarryagain,thatperhapsmaybeso,oritmaynotbe;butIcouldn'tthinkofitforaninstant,notonanyaccountwhatever.IsaidIneverwould,andIneverwill. It's a verypainful thing to have to reject proposals, and Iwouldmuchrather that none were made; at the same time this is the answer that Ideterminedlongagotomake,andthisistheanswerIshallalwaysgive.'

Theseobservationswerepartlyaddressedtotheoldgentleman,partlytoKate,andpartlydeliveredinsoliloquy.Towardstheirconclusion,thesuitorevincedaveryirreverentdegreeofinattention,andMrsNicklebyhadscarcelyfinishedspeaking, when, to the great terror both of that lady and her daughter, hesuddenlyflungoffhiscoat,andspringingonthetopofthewall,threwhimselfinto an attitude which displayed his smallclothes and grey worsteds to thefullest advantage, and concluded by standing on one leg, and repeating hisfavouritebellowwithincreasedvehemence.

While he was still dwelling on the last note, and embellishing it with aprolonged flourish, adirtyhandwasobserved toglide stealthily and swiftlyalongthe topof thewall,as if inpursuitofa fly,and then toclaspwith theutmostdexterityoneoftheoldgentleman'sankles.Thisdone,thecompanionhandappeared,andclaspedtheotherankle.

Thusencumberedtheoldgentlemanliftedhislegsawkwardlyonceortwice,as if they were very clumsy and imperfect pieces of machinery, and thenlookingdownonhisownsideofthewall,burstintoaloudlaugh.

'It'syou,isit?'saidtheoldgentleman.

'Yes,it'sme,'repliedagruffvoice.

'How'stheEmperorofTartary?'saidtheoldgentleman.

'Oh!he'smuchthesameasusual,'wasthereply.'Nobetterandnoworse.'

'TheyoungPrinceofChina,'saidtheoldgentleman,withmuchinterest.'Ishereconciledtohisfatherinlaw,thegreatpotatosalesman?'

'No,'answeredthegruffvoice;'andhesaysheneverwillbe,that'smore.'

'Ifthat'sthecase,'observedtheoldgentleman,'perhapsI'dbettercomedown.'

'Well,'saidthemanontheotherside,'Ithinkyouhad,perhaps.'

Oneofthehandsbeingthencautiouslyunclasped,theoldgentlemandroppedinto a sitting posture, and was looking round to smile and bow to MrsNickleby,whenhedisappearedwithsomeprecipitation,asifhislegshadbeenpulledfrombelow.

Verymuch relieved by his disappearance,Katewas turning to speak to hermama, when the dirty hands again became visible, and were immediatelyfollowed by the figure of a coarse squat man, who ascended by the stepswhichhadbeenrecentlyoccupiedbytheirsingularneighbour.

'Begyourpardon,ladies,'saidthisnewcomer,grinningandtouchinghishat.'Hashebeenmakinglovetoeitherofyou?'

'Yes,'saidKate.

'Ah!' rejoinedtheman, takinghishandkerchiefoutofhishatandwipinghisface,'healwayswill,youknow.Nothingwillpreventhismakinglove.'

'Ineednotaskyouifheisoutofhismind,poorcreature,'saidKate.

'Whyno,'repliedtheman,lookingintohishat,throwinghishandkerchiefinatonedab,andputtingitonagain.'That'sprettyplain,thatis.'

'Hashebeenlongso?'askedKate.

'Alongwhile.'

'Andistherenohopeforhim?'saidKate,compassionately

'Notabit,anddon'tdeservetobe,'repliedthekeeper. 'He'sadealpleasanterwithout his senses than with 'em. He was the cruellest, wickedest,outandouterestoldflintthateverdrawedbreath.'

'Indeed!'saidKate.

'ByGeorge!'repliedthekeeper,shakinghisheadsoemphaticallythathewasobligedtofrowntokeephishaton.'Inevercomeacrosssuchavagabond,and

mymatesaysthesame.Brokehispoorwife'sheart,turnedhisdaughtersoutofdoors,drovehissonsintothestreets;itwasablessinghewentmadatlast,through evil tempers, and covetousness, and selfishness, and guzzling, anddrinking,orhe'dhavedrovemanyothersso.HopeforHIM,anoldrip!Thereisn'ttoomuchhopegoing,butI'llbetacrownthatwhatthereis,issavedformoredeservingchapsthanhim,anyhow.'

Withwhichconfessionofhisfaith,thekeepershookhisheadagain,asmuchastosaythatnothingshortofthiswoulddo,ifthingsweretogoonatall;andtouchinghishat sulkilynot thathewas inan illhumour,but thathis subjectruffledhimdescendedtheladder,andtookitaway.

During thisconversation,MrsNicklebyhad regarded themanwitha severeandsteadfastlook.Shenowheavedaprofoundsigh,andpursingupherlips,shookherheadinaslowanddoubtfulmanner.

'Poorcreature!'saidKate.

'Ah! poor indeed!' rejoined Mrs Nickleby. 'It's shameful that such thingsshouldbeallowed.Shameful!'

'How can they be helped,mama?' saidKate,mournfully. 'The infirmities ofnature'

'Nature!'saidMrsNickleby. 'What!DoYOUsupposethispoorgentlemanisoutofhismind?'

'Cananybodywhoseeshimentertainanyotheropinion,mama?'

'Whythen,Ijusttellyouthis,Kate,'returnedMrsNickleby,'that,heisnothingofthekind,andIamsurprisedyoucanbesoimposedupon.It'ssomeplotofthesepeopletopossessthemselvesofhispropertydidn'thesaysohimself?Hemaybea littleoddand flighty,perhaps,manyofus are that; butdownrightmad! and express himself as he does, respectfully, and in quite poeticallanguage,andmakingofferswithsomuchthought,andcare,andprudencenotasifheranintothestreets,andwentdownuponhiskneestothefirstchitofagirlhemet,asamadmanwould!No,no,Kate,there'sagreatdealtoomuchmethodinHISmadness;dependuponthat,mydear.'

CHAPTER42

IllustrativeoftheconvivialSentiment,thatthebestofFriendsmustsometimespart

ThepavementofSnowHillhadbeenbakingandfryingalldayintheheat,andthetwainSaracens'headsguardingtheentrancetothehostelryofwhosenameandsigntheyaretheduplicatepresentments,lookedorseemed,intheeyesofjadedandfootsorepassersby, to lookmorevicious thanusual,afterblisteringand scorching in the sun, when, in one of the inn's smallest sittingrooms,through whose open window there rose, in a palpable steam, wholesomeexhalations from reeking coachhorses, the usual furniture of a teatable wasdisplayedinneatandinvitingorder,flankedbylargejointsofroastandboiled,atongue,apigeonpie,acoldfowl,atankardofale,andotherlittlemattersofthelikekind,which,indegeneratetownsandcities,aregenerallyunderstoodtobelongmoreparticularlytosolidlunches,stagecoachdinners,orunusuallysubstantialbreakfasts.

MrJohnBrowdie,withhishandsinhispockets,hoveredrestlesslyaboutthesedelicacies,stoppingoccasionallytowhiskthefliesoutofthesugarbasinwithhiswife'spockethandkerchief,ortodipateaspooninthemilkpotandcarryittohismouth,ortocutoffalittleknobofcrust,andalittlecornerofmeat,andswallow them at two gulps like a couple of pills. After every one of theseflirtations with the eatables, he pulled out his watch, and declared with anearnestnessquitepathetic thathecouldn'tundertake toholdout twominuteslonger.

'Tilly!' said John to his lady,whowas reclining half awake and half asleepuponasofa.

'Well,John!'

'Well,John!'retortedherhusband,impatiently.'Dostthoufeelhoongry,lass?'

'Notvery,'saidMrsBrowdie.

'Notvary!'repeatedJohn,raisinghiseyestotheceiling.'Hearhersaynotvary,andusdiningatthree,andloonchingoffpasthrythotaggravatesamon'steadofpacifyinghim!Notvary!'

'Here'sagen'l'manforyou,sir,'saidthewaiter,lookingin.

'Awa'at forme?' cried John, as though he thought itmust be a letter, or aparcel.

'Agen'l'man,sir.'

'Starsandgarthers,chap!'saidJohn,'wa'atdostthoucoomandsaythotfor?Inwi''un.'

'Areyouathome,sir?'

'Atwhoam!'criedJohn, 'IwishIwur;I'dhatea'dtwohourago.Why,I told

t'ootherchaptolooksharpootsidedoor,andtell'und'rectlyhecoom,thotwewarfaintwi'hoonger. Inwi' 'un.Aha!Theehond,MistherNickleby.This isnightobetheproodestdayo'mylife,sir.Hoobeallwi'ye?Ding!But,I'mglodo'this!'

Quite forgetting even his hunger in the heartiness of his salutation, JohnBrowdieshookNicholasbythehandagainandagain,slappinghispalmwithgreatviolencebetweeneachshake,toaddwarmthtothereception.

'Ah! there she be,' said John, observing the look which Nicholas directedtowardshiswife.'Thereshebeweshan'tquarrelabouthernooeh?Ecod,whenIthinko'thotbutthouwant'stsoom'attoeat.Fallto,mun,fallto,andforwa'atwe'reaboottoreceive'

No doubt the gracewas properly finished, but nothingmorewas heard, forJohnhadalreadybeguntoplaysuchaknifeandfork,thathisspeechwas,forthetime,gone.

'Ishalltaketheusuallicence,MrBrowdie,'saidNicholas,asheplacedachairforthebride.

'Tak'whateverthoulike'st,'saidJohn,'andwhena'sgane,ca'formore.'

Withoutstoppingtoexplain,Nicholaskissed theblushingMrsBrowdie,andhandedhertoherseat.

'I say,' said John, rather astounded for the moment, 'mak' theeself quite atwhoam,will'ee?'

'Youmaydependuponthat,'repliedNicholas;'ononecondition.'

'Andwa'atmaythotbe?'askedJohn.

'Thatyoumakemeagodfathertheveryfirsttimeyouhaveoccasionforone.'

'Eh!d'yehearthot?'criedJohn,layingdownhisknifeandfork.'Agodfeyther!Ha!ha!ha!Tillyheartill'unagodfeyther!Divn'tsayawordmore,ye'llneverbeatthot.Occasionfor'unagodfeyther!Ha!ha!ha!'

Neverwasmanso tickledwitha respectableold joke,asJohnBrowdiewaswith this. He chuckled, roared, half suffocated himself by laughing largepiecesofbeefintohiswindpipe,roaredagain,persistedineatingatthesametime,gotredinthefaceandblackintheforehead,coughed,cried,gotbetter,wentoffagain laughinginwardly,gotworse,choked,hadhisback thumped,stampedabout,frightenedhiswife,andatlastrecoveredinastateofthelastexhaustion and with the water streaming from his eyes, but still faintlyejaculating, 'A godfeythera godfeyther, Tilly!' in a tone bespeaking anexquisiterelishofthesally,whichnosufferingcoulddiminish.

'Yourememberthenightofourfirstteadrinking?'saidNicholas.

'ShallIe'erforgetit,mun?'repliedJohnBrowdie.

'Hewasadesperatefellowthatnightthough,washenot,MrsBrowdie?'saidNicholas.'Quiteamonster!'

'Ifyouhadonlyheardhimasweweregoinghome,MrNickleby,you'dhavesaidsoindeed,'returnedthebride.'Ineverwassofrightenedinallmylife.'

'Coom, coom,' said John,with a broad grin; 'thou know'st betther than thot,Tilly.'

'SoIwas,'repliedMrsBrowdie.'Ialmostmadeupmymindnevertospeaktoyouagain.'

'A'most!' said John, with a broader grin than the last. 'A'mostmade up hermind!Andshewurcoaxin', andcoaxin', andwheedlin', andwheedlin' a' theblessedwa'. "Wa'at didst thou let yon chapmak' oop tiv'ee for?" says I. "Ideedn't, John," says she,a squeedginmyarm."Youdeedn't?" says I. "Noa,"saysshe,asqueedginofmeagean.'

'Lor,John!'interposedhisprettywife,colouringverymuch.'Howcanyoutalksuchnonsense?AsifIshouldhavedreamtofsuchathing!'

'I dinnot knowwhether thou'd ever dreamt of it, though I think that's loikeeneaf, mind,' retorted John; 'but thou didst it. "Ye're a feeckle, changeableweathercock, lass," says I. "Not feeckle, John," says she. "Yes," says I,"feeckle, dom'd feeckle. Dinnot tell me thou bean't, efther yon chap atschoolmeasther's,"saysI."Him!"saysshe,quitescreeching."Ah!him!"saysI. "Why, John," says sheand she coom a deal closer and squeedged a dealharderthanshe'ddeaneafore"dostthouthinkit'snat'ralnoo,thathavingsuchapropermunasthoutokeepcompanywi',I'devertak'oppwi'suchaleetlescanty whippersnapper as yon?" she says. Ha! ha! ha! She saidwhippersnapper!"Ecod!"Isays,"eftherthot,neametheday,andlet'shaveitower!"Ha!ha!ha!'

Nicholas laughed very heartily at this story, both on account of its tellingagainsthimself,andhisbeingdesiroustosparetheblushesofMrsBrowdie,whoseprotestationsweredrownedinpealsoflaughterfromherhusband.Hisgoodnaturesoonputheratherease;andalthoughshestilldeniedthecharge,she laughed so heartily at it, that Nicholas had the satisfaction of feelingassuredthatinallessentialrespectsitwasstrictlytrue.

'This is the second time,' said Nicholas, 'that we have ever taken a mealtogether,andonlythirdIhaveeverseenyou;andyetitreallyseemstomeasifIwereamongoldfriends.'

'Weel!'observedtheYorkshireman,'soIsay.'

'AndIamsureIdo,'addedhisyoungwife.

'Ihavethebestreasontobeimpressedwiththefeeling,mind,'saidNicholas;'forifithadnotbeenforyourkindnessofheart,mygoodfriend,whenIhadnorightorreasontoexpectit,IknownotwhatmighthavebecomeofmeorwhatplightIshouldhavebeeninbythistime.'

'Talkabootsoom'atelse,'repliedJohn,gruffly,'anddinnotbother.'

'Itmustbeanewsong to thesame tune then,' saidNicholas,smiling. 'I toldyouinmyletterthatIdeeplyfeltandadmiredyoursympathywiththatpoorlad, whom you released at the risk of involving yourself in trouble anddifficulty;butIcannevertellyouhowgratefulheandI,andotherswhomyoudon'tknow,aretoyoufortakingpityonhim.'

'Ecod!'rejoinedJohnBrowdie,drawinguphischair;'andIcannevertellYOUhoogratfulsoomfolksthatwedoknowwouldbeloikewise,ifTHEYknow'dIhadtakkenpityonhim.'

'Ah!'exclaimedMrsBrowdie,'whatastateIwasinthatnight!'

'Were they at all disposed to give you credit for assisting in the escape?'inquiredNicholasofJohnBrowdie.

'Not a bit,' replied the Yorkshireman, extending his mouth from ear to ear.'ThereIlay,snooginschoolmeasther'sbedlongeftheritwasdark,andnobodycoomnighthepleace."Weel!"thinksI,"he'sgotaprettygoodstart,andifhebean'twhoam by noo, he neverwill be; so youmay coom as quick as youloike,andfoindusreddy"thatis,youknow,schoolmeasthermightcoom.'

'Iunderstand,'saidNicholas.

'Presently,'resumedJohn,'heDIDcoom.Iheerddoorshutdoonstairs,andhimawarking,oop in thedaark. "Slowand steddy," I says tomyself, "tak'yourtime,sirnohurry."Hecoomstothedoor,turnsthekeyturnsthekeywhentherewarn't nothing to hoold the lockand ca's oot "Hallo, there!""Yes," thinks I,"youmaydothotagean,andnotwakkenanybody,sir.""Hallo,there,"hesays,and then he stops. "Thou'd betther not aggravateme," says schoolmeasther,eftheralittletime."I'llbrak'everyboaninyourboddy,Smike,"hesays,eftheranotherlittletime.Thenallofasoodden,hesingsootforaloight,andwhenitcoomsecod, such a hoorlyboorly! "Wa'at's the matter?" says I. "He's gane,"sayshe,starkmadwi'vengeance."Haveyouheerdnought?""Ees,"saysI,"Iheerd streetdoor shut, no time at a' ago. I heerd a person run doon there"(pointing t'otherwa'eh?) "Help!"hecries. "I'llhelpyou," says I; andoffwesetthewrongwa'!Ho!ho!ho!'

'Didyougofar?'askedNicholas.

'Far!'repliedJohn;'Irunhimcleanoffhislegsinquartherofanhoor.Toseeold schoolmeastherwi'out his hat, skimming alongoop to his knees inmudandwather, tumblingover fences,androwling intoditches,andbawlingootlikemad,wi'hisoneeyelookingsharpoutforthelad,andhiscoattailsflyingoutbehind,andhimspatteredwi'mudallower,faceandall!I tho'tIshouldha'droppeddoon,andkilledmyselfwi'laughing.'

John laughed so heartily at themere recollection, that he communicated thecontagiontobothhishearers,andallthreeburstintopealsoflaughter,whichwererenewedagainandagain,untiltheycouldlaughnolonger.

'He'sabad'un,'saidJohn,wipinghiseyes;'averybad'un,isschoolmeasther.'

'Ican'tbearthesightofhim,John,'saidhiswife.

'Coom,' retortedJohn, 'thot's tidy inyou, thot is. If itwa'ntalongo'you,weshouldn'tknownoughtaboot'un.Thouknow'd'unfirst,Tilly,didn'tthou?'

'Icouldn'thelpknowingFannySqueers,John,'returnedhiswife;'shewasanoldplaymateofmine,youknow.'

'Weel,'repliedJohn,'dean'tIsayso,lass?It'sbesttobeneighbourly,andkeepupoldacquaintanceloike;andwhatIsayis,dean'tquarrel if 'eecanhelpit.Dinnotthinkso,MrNickleby?'

'Certainly,'returnedNicholas;'andyouacteduponthatprinciplewhenImeetyouonhorsebackontheroad,afterourmemorableevening.'

'Surely,'saidJohn.'Wa'atIsay,Istickby.'

'And that's a fine thing todo, andmanly too,' saidNicholas, 'though it'snotexactlywhatweunderstandby"comingYorkshireoverus" inLondon.MissSqueersisstoppingwithyou,yousaidinyournote.'

'Yes,'repliedJohn,'Tilly'sbridesmaid;andaqueerbridesmaidshebe,too.Shewean'tbeabrideinahurry,Ireckon.'

'For shame, John,' saidMrs Browdie; with an acute perception of the jokethough,beingabrideherself.

'Thegroomwillbeablessedmun,'saidJohn,hiseyestwinklingat theidea.'He'llbeinluck,hewill.'

'Yousee,MrNickleby,'saidhiswife,'thatitwasinconsequenceofherbeinghere, that John wrote to you and fixed tonight, because we thought that itwouldn'tbepleasantforyoutomeet,afterwhathaspassed.'

'Unquestionably.Youwerequiterightinthat,'saidNicholas,interrupting.

'Especially,' observed Mrs Browdie, looking very sly, 'after what we knowaboutpastandgonelovematters.'

'We know, indeed!' said Nicholas, shaking his head. 'You behaved ratherwickedlythere,Isuspect.'

'O'courseshedid,'saidJohnBrowdie,passinghishugeforefingerthroughoneofhiswife'sprettyringlets,andlookingveryproudofher.'Shewuralwaysasskittishandfullo'tricksasa'

'Well,asawhat?'saidhiswife.

'Asawoman,'returnedJohn.'Ding!ButIdinnotknowoughtelsethatcoomsnearit.'

'You were speaking about Miss Squeers,' said Nicholas, with the view ofstoppingsomeslightconnubialitieswhichhadbeguntopassbetweenMrandMrsBrowdie,andwhichrenderedthepositionofathirdpartyinsomedegreeembarrassing,asoccasioninghimtofeelratherinthewaythanotherwise.

'Oh yes,' rejoinedMrsBrowdie. 'John ha' done. John fixed tonight, becauseshehadsettledthatshewouldgoanddrinkteawithherfather.Andtomakequitesureoftherebeingnothingamiss,andofyourbeingquitealonewithus,hesettledtogooutthereandfetchherhome.'

'Thatwasaverygoodarrangement,' saidNicholas, 'though Iamsorry tobetheoccasionofsomuchtrouble.'

'Not the least in the world,' returned Mrs Browdie; 'for we have lookedforwardtoseeyouJohnandIhavewiththegreatestpossiblepleasure.Doyouknow,MrNickleby,' saidMrsBrowdie,withher archest smile, 'that I reallythinkFannySqueerswasveryfondofyou?'

'I amverymuch obliged to her,' saidNicholas; 'but uponmyword, I neveraspiredtomakinganyimpressionuponhervirginheart.'

'How you talk!' tittered Mrs Browdie. 'No, but do you know thatreallyseriously now and without any jokingI was given to understand byFannyherself,thatyouhadmadeanoffertoher,andthatyoutwoweregoingtobeengagedquitesolemnandregular.'

'Was you, ma'amwas you?' cried a shrill female voice, 'was you given tounderstandthatIIwasgoingtobeengagedtoanassassinatingthiefthatshedthegoreofmypa?Doyoudoyou think,ma'amthat Iwasveryfondofsuchdirt beneathmy feet, as I couldn't condescend to touchwith kitchen tongs,

withoutblackingandcrockingmyselfbythecontract?Doyou,ma'amdoyou?Oh!baseanddegrading'Tilda!'

WiththesereproachesMissSqueersflungthedoorwideopen,anddisclosedto the eyes of the astonished Browdies and Nicholas, not only her ownsymmetrical form, arrayed in the chastewhite garments before described (alittledirtier),buttheformofherbrotherandfather,thepairofWackfords.

'Thisisthehend,isit?'continuedMissSqueers,who,beingexcited,aspiratedherh'sstrongly;'thisisthehend,isit,ofallmyforbearanceandfriendshipforthatdoublefacedthingthatviper, thatthatmermaid?' (MissSqueershesitatedalongtimefor this lastepithet,andbrought itout triumphantlyat last,as if itquiteclinchedthebusiness.)'Thisisthehend,isit,ofallmybearingwithherdeceitfulness, her lowness, her falseness, her laying herself out to catch theadmirationofvulgarminds,inawaywhichmademeblushformyformy'

'Gender,' suggestedMr Squeers, regarding the spectators with a malevolenteyeliterallyAmalevolenteye.

'Yes,'saidMissSqueers;'butIthankmystarsthatmymaisofthesame'

'Hear,hear!'remarkedMrSqueers;'andIwishshewasheretohaveascratchatthiscompany.'

'This is the hend, is it,' said Miss Squeers, tossing her head, and lookingcontemptuouslyat thefloor, 'ofmytakingnoticeof that rubbishingcreature,anddemeaningmyselftopatroniseher?'

'Oh, come,' rejoined Mrs Browdie, disregarding all the endeavours of herspouse to restrain her, and forcing herself into a front row, 'don't talk suchnonsenseasthat.'

'HaveInotpatronisedyou,ma'am?'demandedMissSqueers.

'No,'returnedMrsBrowdie.

'Iwillnotlookforblushesinsuchaquarter,'saidMissSqueers,haughtily,'forthat countenance is a stranger to everything but hignominiousness andredfacedboldness.'

'I say,' interposedJohnBrowdie,nettledby theseaccumulatedattacksonhiswife,'dra'itmild,dra'itmild.'

'You,MrBrowdie,' saidMissSqueers, takinghimupveryquickly, 'I pity. Ihavenofeelingforyou,sir,butoneofunliquidatedpity.'

'Oh!'saidJohn.

'No,' said Miss Squeers, looking sideways at her parent, 'although I AM a

queer bridesmaid, and SHAN'T be a bride in a hurry, and although myhusband WILL be in luck, I entertain no sentiments towards you, sir, butsentimentsofpity.'

HereMissSqueerslookedsidewaysatherfatheragain,wholookedsidewaysather,asmuchastosay,'Thereyouhadhim.'

'Iknowwhatyou'vegot togothrough,'saidMissSqueers,shakinghercurlsviolently. 'I knowwhat life is before you, and if you wasmy bitterest anddeadliestenemy,Icouldwishyounothingworse.'

'Couldn't you wish to be married to him yourself, if that was the case?'inquiredMrsBrowdie,withgreatsuavityofmanner.

'Oh, ma'am, how witty you are,' retorted Miss Squeers with a low curtsy,'almost as witty, ma'am, as you are clever. How very clever it was in you,ma'am,tochooseatimewhenIhadgonetoteawithmypa,andwassurenottocomebackwithoutbeingfetched!Whatapityyouneverthoughtthatotherpeoplemightbeascleverasyourselfandspoilyourplans!'

'Youwon't vexme, child,with such airs as these,' said the lateMiss Price,assumingthematron.

'Don'tMISSISme,ma'am,ifyouplease,'returnedMissSqueers,sharply. 'I'llnotbearit.IsTHISthehend'

'Dang it a',' cried John Browdie, impatiently. 'Say thee say out, Fanny, andmak'sureit'stheend,anddinnotasknobodywhetheritisornot.'

'Thankingyouforyouradvicewhichwasnotrequired,MrBrowdie,'returnedMissSqueers,withlaboriouspoliteness,'havethegoodnessnottopresumetomeddlewithmyChristian name. Evenmy pity shall nevermakeme forgetwhat's due to myself, Mr Browdie. 'Tilda,' said Miss Squeers, with such asuddenaccessionofviolencethatJohnstartedinhisboots,'Ithrowyouoffforever,miss.Iabandonyou.Irenounceyou.Iwouldn't,'criedMissSqueersinasolemnvoice,'haveachildnamed'Tilda,nottosaveitfromitsgrave.'

'As for thematthero' that,' observed John, 'it'll be timeeneaf to thinkabootneamingofitwhenitcooms.'

'John!'interposedhiswife,'don'tteaseher.'

'Oh!Tease, indeed!' criedMissSqueers,bridlingup. 'Tease, indeed!He,he!Tease,too!No,don'tteaseher.Considerherfeelings,pray!'

'Ifit'sfatedthatlistenersarenevertohearanygoodofthemselves,'saidMrsBrowdie,'Ican'thelpit,andIamverysorryforit.ButIwillsay,Fanny,thattimesout of number I have spoken sokindlyof youbehindyour back, that

evenyoucouldhavefoundnofaultwithwhatIsaid.'

'Oh, I dare say not, ma'am!' criedMiss Squeers, with another curtsy. 'Bestthankstoyouforyourgoodness,andbeggingandprayingyounottobeharduponmeanothertime!'

'Idon'tknow,' resumedMrsBrowdie, 'that Ihave saidanythingverybadofyou,evennow.Atallevents,whatIdidsaywasquitetrue;butifIhave,Iamvery sorry for it, and I begyour pardon.Youhave saidmuchworse ofme,scoresoftimes,Fanny;butIhaveneverborneanymalicetoyou,andIhopeyou'llnotbearanytome.'

Miss Squeers made no more direct reply than surveying her former friendfromtop to toe,andelevatinghernose in theairwith ineffabledisdain.Butsomeindistinctallusionstoa'puss,'anda'minx,'anda'contemptiblecreature,'escapedher;andthis,togetherwithaseverebitingofthelips,greatdifficultyin swallowing, and very frequent comings and goings of breath, seemed toimply that feelings were swelling in Miss Squeers's bosom too great forutterance.

While the foregoingconversationwasproceeding,MasterWackford, findinghimself unnoticed, and feeling his preponderating inclinations strong uponhim,hadby littleand littlesidledup to the tableandattacked the foodwithsuchslightskirmishingasdrawinghis fingers roundandround the insideoftheplates,andafterwardssuckingthemwithinfiniterelish;pickingthebread,and dragging the pieces over the surface of the butter; pocketing lumps ofsugar,pretendingallthetimetobeabsorbedinthought;andsoforth.Findingthat no interference was attempted with these small liberties, he graduallymounted to greater, and, after helping himself to a moderately good coldcollation,was,bythistime,deepinthepie.

Nothing of this had been unobserved by Mr Squeers, who, so long as theattention of the company was fixed upon other objects, hugged himself tothink that his son and heir should be fattening at the enemy's expense. Buttherebeingnowanappearanceofatemporarycalm,inwhichtheproceedingsoflittleWackfordcouldscarcelyfailtobeobserved,hefeignedtobeawareofthecircumstancefor the first time,and inflictedupon thefaceof thatyounggentlemanaslapthatmadetheveryteacupsring.

'Eating!'criedMrSqueers, 'ofwhathisfather'senemieshasleft!It'sfittogoandpoisonyou,youunnat'ralboy.'

'Itwean'thurthim,'saidJohn,apparentlyverymuchrelievedbytheprospectofhavingamaninthequarrel;'let'uneat.Iwishthewholeschoolwashere.I'd give'em soom'at to stay their unfort'nate stomachswi', if I spent the lastpennyIhad!'

Squeers scowled at him with the worst and most malicious expression ofwhichhisfacewascapableitwasafaceofremarkablecapability,too,inthatwayandshookhisfiststealthily.

'Coom,coom,schoolmeasther,'saidJohn,'dinnotmakeafoolo'thyself;forifIwastosheakemineonlyoncethou'dfa'doonwi'thewindo'it.'

'Itwasyou,wasit,'returnedSqueers,'thathelpedoffmyrunawayboy?Itwasyou,wasit?'

'Me!'returnedJohn,inaloudtone.'Yes,itwa'me,coom;wa'ato'that?Itwa'me.Noothen!'

'Youhearhimsayhedidit,mychild!'saidSqueers,appealingtohisdaughter.'Youhearhimsayhedidit!'

'Did it!' cried John. 'I'll tell 'ee more; hear this, too. If thou'd got anotherroonawayboy, I'ddo itagean. If thou'dgot twonty roonawayboys, I'ddo ittwontytimesower,andtwontymoretothot;andItelltheemore,'saidJohn,'noomyblood isoop, that thou'rtanoldra'ascal;and that it'sweel for thou,thoube'estanold'un,orI'dha'poondedtheetoflourwhenthoutoldanhonestmunhoothou'dlickedthatpoorchapint'coorch.'

'Anhonestman!'criedSqueers,withasneer.

'Ah!anhonestman,'repliedJohn;'honestinoughtbuteverputtinglegsunderseametablewi'suchasthou.'

'Scandal!'saidSqueers,exultingly. 'Twowitnessestoit;Wackfordknowsthenature of an oath, he does; we shall have you there, sir. Rascal, eh?' MrSqueers tookouthispocketbookandmadeanoteof it. 'Verygood.Ishouldsaythatwasworthfulltwentypoundatthenextassizes,withoutthehonesty,sir.'

''Soizes,'criedJohn,'thou'dbetthernottalktomeo''Soizes.Yorkshireschoolshavebeenshownupat 'Soizesaforenoo,mun,andit'sa ticklishsoobjact torevive,Icantellye.'

MrSqueersshookhisheadinathreateningmanner,lookingverywhitewithpassion; and taking his daughter's arm, and dragging littleWackford by thehand,retreatedtowardsthedoor.

'Asforyou,'saidSqueers,turningroundandaddressingNicholas,who,ashehad caused him to smart pretty soundly on a former occasion, purposelyabstainedfromtakinganypartinthediscussion,'seeifIain'tdownuponyoubeforelong.You'llgoakidnappingofboys,willyou?Takecaretheirfathersdon'tturnupmarkthattakecaretheirfathersdon'tturnup,andsend'emback

tometodoasIlikewith,inspiteofyou.'

'I am not afraid of that,' replied Nicholas, shrugging his shoulderscontemptuously,andturningaway.

'Ain'tyou!'retortedSqueers,withadiabolicallook.'Nowthen,comealong.'

'I leave such society, with my pa, for Hever,' said Miss Squeers, lookingcontemptuouslyandloftilyround.'Iamdefiledbybreathingtheairwithsuchcreatures. Poor Mr Browdie! He! he! he! I do pity him, that I do; he's sodeluded.He!he!he!Artfulanddesigning'Tilda!'

With this sudden relapse into the sternest and most majestic wrath, MissSqueerssweptfromtheroom;andhavingsustainedherdignityuntil the lastpossiblemoment,washeardtosobandscreamandstruggleinthepassage.

JohnBrowdie remained standing behind the table, looking from hiswife toNicholas, and back again, with his mouth wide open, until his handaccidentally fell upon the tankard of ale, when he took it up, and havingobscuredhisfeatures therewithforsometime,drewa longbreath,handeditovertoNicholas,andrangthebell.

'Here,waither,'saidJohn,briskly.'Lookalivehere.Tak'thesethingsawa',andlet's have soomat broiled for soopervary comfortable and plenty o' itat teno'clock.Bringsoombrandyandsoomwather,andapairo'slippersthelargestpair inthehouseandbequickabootit.Dashmawig!'saidJohn,rubbinghishands, 'there's nogangingoot toneeght, noo, to fetch anybodywhoam, andecod,we'llbegintospendtheeveninginairnest.'

CHAPTER43

OfficiatesasakindofGentlemanUsher,inbringingvariousPeopletogether

Thestormhadlonggivenplacetoacalmthemostprofound,andtheeveningwasprettyfaradvancedindeedsupperwasover,andtheprocessofdigestionproceeding as favourably as, under the influence of complete tranquillity,cheerful conversation, and a moderate allowance of brandyandwater, mostwisemenconversantwiththeanatomyandfunctionsofthehumanframewillconsider that it ought to have proceeded, when the three friends, or as onemightsay,bothinacivilandreligioussense,andwithproperdeferenceandregardtotheholystateofmatrimony,thetwofriends,(MrandMrsBrowdiecountingasnomore thanone,)werestartledby thenoiseof loudandangrythreateningsbelowstairs,whichpresentlyattainedsohighapitch,andwere

conveyedbesides in language so towering, sanguinary, and ferocious, that itcouldhardlyhavebeensurpassed,iftherehadactuallybeenaSaracen'sheadthenpresentintheestablishment,supportedontheshouldersandsurmountingthetrunkofareal,live,furious,andmostunappeasableSaracen.

Thisturmoil,insteadofquicklysubsidingafterthefirstoutburst,(asturmoilsnotunfrequentlydo,whetherintaverns,legislativeassemblies,orelsewhere,)intoameregrumblingandgrowlingsquabble, increasedeverymoment;andalthoughthewholedinappearedtoberaisedbybutonepairoflungs,yetthatonepairwasofsopowerfulaquality,andrepeatedsuchwordsas'scoundrel,''rascal,' 'insolent puppy,' and a variety of expletives no less flattering to theparty addressed, with such great relish and strength of tone, that a dozenvoices raised inconcertunderanyordinarycircumstanceswouldhavemadefarlessuproarandcreatedmuchsmallerconsternation.

'Why,what'sthematter?'saidNicholas,movinghastilytowardsthedoor.

JohnBrowdiewas striding in the same directionwhenMrsBrowdie turnedpale,and, leaningback inherchair, requestedhimwithafaintvoice to takenotice,thatifheranintoanydangeritwasherintentiontofallintohystericsimmediately,andthattheconsequencesmightbemoreseriousthanhethoughtfor. John looked rather disconcertedby this intelligence, though therewas alurkinggrinonhisfaceatthesametime;but,beingquiteunabletokeepoutofthefray,hecompromisedthematterbytuckinghiswife'sarmunderhisown,and,thusaccompanied,followingNicholasdownstairswithallspeed.

The passage outside the coffeeroomdoorwas the scene of disturbance, andherewere congregated the coffeeroom customers andwaiters, togetherwithtwoorthreecoachmenandhelpersfromtheyard.ThesehadhastilyassembledroundayoungmanwhofromhisappearancemighthavebeenayearortwoolderthanNicholas,andwho,besideshavinggivenutterancetothedefiancesjustnowdescribed, seemed tohaveproceeded toevengreater lengths inhisindignation, inasmuch as his feet had no other covering than a pair ofstockings,whileacoupleofslipperslayatnogreatdistancefromtheheadofaprostratefigureinanoppositecorner,whoboretheappearanceofhavingbeenshotintohispresentretreatbymeansofakick,andcomplimentedbyhavingtheslippersflungabouthisearsafterwards.

The coffeeroom customers, and the waiters, and the coachmen, and thehelpersnot tomention a barmaidwhowas looking on from behind an opensash windowseemed at that moment, if a spectator might judge from theirwinks,nods,andmutteredexclamations,stronglydisposedtotakepartagainstthe young gentleman in the stockings. Observing this, and that the younggentlemanwasnearlyofhisownageandhadinnothingtheappearanceofanhabitualbrawler,Nicholas,impelledbysuchfeelingsaswillinfluenceyoung

mensometimes, felt avery strongdisposition to sidewith theweakerparty,and so thrust himself at once into the centre of the group, and in a moreemphatictone,perhaps,thancircumstancesmightseemtowarrant,demandedwhatallthatnoisewasabout.

'Hallo!'saidoneofthemenfromtheyard,'thisissomebodyindisguise,thisis.'

'RoomfortheeldestsonoftheEmperorofRoosher,gen'l'men!'criedanotherfellow.

Disregardingthesesallies,whichwereuncommonlywellreceived,assalliesatthe expense of the bestdressed persons in a crowd usually are, Nicholasglanced carelessly round, and addressing the young gentleman,who had bythis time picked up his slippers and thrust his feet into them, repeated hisinquirieswithacourteousair.

'Amerenothing!'hereplied.

Atthisamurmurwasraisedbythelookerson,andsomeoftheboldestcried,'Oh, indeed!Wasn't it though?Nothing, eh?He called that nothing, did he?Lucky forhim ifhe found itnothing.'Theseandmanyother expressionsofironicaldisapprobationhavingbeenexhausted, twoor threeof theoutofdoorfellowsbegantohustleNicholasandtheyounggentlemanwhohadmadethenoise:stumblingagainst thembyaccident,andtreadingontheir toes,andsoforth.Butthisbeingaroundgame,andonenotnecessarilylimitedtothreeorfour players, was open to John Browdie too, who, bursting into the littlecrowdtothegreatterrorofhiswifeandfallingaboutinalldirections,nowtothe right, now to the left, now forwards, now backwards, and accidentallydriving his elbow through the hat of the tallest helper, who had beenparticularly active, speedily caused the odds to wear a very differentappearance; while more than one stout fellow limped away to a respectfuldistance,anathematisingwithtearsinhiseyestheheavytreadandponderousfeetoftheburlyYorkshireman.

'Letme see him do it again,' said hewho had been kicked into the corner,rising as he spoke, apparently more from the fear of John Browdie'sinadvertently treading upon him, than from any desire to place himself onequaltermswithhislateadversary.'Letmeseehimdoitagain.That'sall.'

'Let me hear you make those remarks again,' said the young man, 'and I'llknockthatheadofyoursinamongthewineglassesbehindyouthere.'

Hereawaiterwhohadbeenrubbinghishandsinexcessiveenjoymentofthescene, so long as only the breaking of heads was in question, adjured thespectatorswithgreatearnestness tofetch thepolice,declaring thatotherwise

murderwouldbesurelydone,andthathewasresponsibleforalltheglassandchinaonthepremises.

'Nooneneedtroublehimselftostir,'saidtheyounggentleman,'Iamgoingtoremaininthehouseallnight,andshallbefoundhereinthemorningifthereisanyassaulttoanswerfor.'

'Whatdidyoustrikehimfor?'askedoneofthebystanders.

'Ah!whatdidyoustrikehimfor?'demandedtheothers.

The unpopular gentleman looked coolly round, and addressing himself toNicholas,said:

'You inquired just nowwhatwas thematter here.Thematter is simply this.Yonderperson,whowasdrinkingwithafriendinthecoffeeroomwhenItookmyseatthereforhalfanhourbeforegoingtobed,(forIhavejustcomeoffajourney,andpreferredstoppingheretonight,togoinghomeatthishour,whereI was not expected until tomorrow,) chose to express himself in verydisrespectful, and insolently familiar terms, of a young lady, whom Irecognisedfromhisdescriptionandothercircumstances,andwhomIhavethehonourtoknow.Ashespokeloudenoughtobeoverheardbytheotherguestswhowere present, I informed himmost civilly that hewasmistaken in hisconjectures,whichwereofanoffensivenature,andrequestedhimtoforbear.He did so for a little time, but as he chose to renewhis conversationwhenleaving the room, in amoreoffensive strain thanbefore, I couldnot refrainfrommakingafterhim,andfacilitatinghisdeparturebyakick,whichreducedhimtothepostureinwhichyousawhimjustnow.Iamthebestjudgeofmyown affairs, I take it,' said the young man, who had certainly not quiterecovered from his recent heat; 'if anybody here thinks proper tomake thisquarrelhisown,Ihavenotthesmallestearthlyobjection,Idoassurehim.'

Ofallpossiblecoursesofproceedingunderthecircumstancesdetailed, therewascertainlynotonewhich, inhis then stateofmind, couldhaveappearedmorelaudabletoNicholasthanthis.Therewerenotmanysubjectsofdisputewhich at that moment could have come home to his own breast morepowerfully, for having the unknown uppermost in his thoughts, it naturallyoccurred to him that he would have done just the same if any audaciousgossiperdursthavepresumedinhishearingtospeaklightlyofher.Influencedbytheseconsiderations,heespousedtheyounggentleman'squarrelwithgreatwarmth,protestingthathehaddonequiteright,andthatherespectedhimforit;which JohnBrowdie (albeit not quite clear as to themerits) immediatelyprotestedtoo,withnotinferiorvehemence.

'Lethim takecare, that's all,' said thedefeatedparty,whowasbeing rubbeddownbyawaiter,afterhisrecentfallonthedustyboards.'Hedon'tknockme

aboutfornothing,Icantellhimthat.Aprettystateofthings,ifamanisn'ttoadmireahandsomegirlwithoutbeingbeattopiecesforit!'

Thisreflectionappearedtohavegreatweightwiththeyoungladyinthebar,who(adjustinghercapasshespoke,andglancingatamirror)declaredthatitwouldbe a verypretty state of things indeed; and that if peoplewere to bepunished for actions so innocent and natural as that, there would be morepeopletobeknockeddownthantherewouldbepeopletoknockthemdown,andthatshewonderedwhatthegentlemanmeantbyit,thatshedid.

'Mydeargirl,'saidtheyounggentlemaninalowvoice,advancingtowardsthesashwindow.

'Nonsense, sir!' replied theyoung ladysharply, smiling thoughasshe turnedaside,andbitingherlip,(whereatMrsBrowdie,whowasstillstandingonthestairs,glancedatherwithdisdain,andcalledtoherhusbandtocomeaway).

'No,butlistentome,'saidtheyoungman.'Ifadmirationofaprettyfacewerecriminal,Ishouldbethemosthopelesspersonalive,forIcannotresistone.Ithasthemostextraordinaryeffectuponme,checksandcontrolsmeinthemostfurious andobstinatemood.You seewhat an effect yours has haduponmealready.'

'Oh,that'sverypretty,'repliedtheyounglady,tossingherhead,'but'

'Yes, I know it's very pretty,' said the young man, looking with an air ofadmirationin thebarmaid'sface; 'Isaidso,youknow,just thismoment.Butbeautyshouldbespokenofrespectfullyrespectfully,andinproperterms,andwithabecomingsenseofitsworthandexcellence,whereasthisfellowhasnomorenotion'

The young lady interrupted the conversation at this point, by thrusting herhead out of the barwindow, and inquiring of the waiter in a shrill voicewhether thatyoungmanwhohadbeenknockeddownwasgoing tostand inthe passage all night, orwhether the entrancewas to be left clear for otherpeople.Thewaiterstakingthehint,andcommunicatingittothehostlers,werenot slow to change their tone too, and the result was, that the unfortunatevictimwasbundledoutinatwinkling.

'IamsureIhaveseenthatfellowbefore,'saidNicholas.

'Indeed!'repliedhisnewacquaintance.

'I am certain of it,' said Nicholas, pausing to reflect. 'Where can Ihavestop!yes,tobesurehebelongstoaregisterofficeupatthewestendofthetown.IknewIrecollectedtheface.'

Itwas,indeed,Tom,theuglyclerk.

'That's odd enough!' said Nicholas, ruminating upon the strange manner inwhichtheregisterofficeseemedtostartupandstarehiminthefaceeverynowandthen,andwhenheleastexpectedit.

'Iammuchobligedtoyouforyourkindadvocacyofmycausewhenitmostneededanadvocate,'saidtheyoungman,laughing,anddrawingacardfromhispocket.'Perhapsyou'lldomethefavourtoletmeknowwhereIcanthankyou.'

Nicholas took the card, and glancing at it involuntarily as he returned thecompliment,evincedverygreatsurprise.

'Mr Frank Cheeryble!' said Nicholas. 'Surely not the nephew of CheerybleBrothers,whoisexpectedtomorrow!'

'I don't usually call myself the nephew of the firm,' returned Mr Frank,goodhumouredly; 'butof thetwoexcellent individualswhocomposeit, IamproudtosayIAMthenephew.Andyou,Isee,areMrNickleby,ofwhomIhave heard so much! This is a most unexpected meeting, but not the lesswelcome,Iassureyou.'

Nicholas responded to these complimentswithothersof the samekind, andthey shook hands warmly. Then he introduced John Browdie, who hadremained in a stateofgreat admirationever since theyoung lady in thebarhadbeensoskilfullywonovertotherightside.ThenMrsJohnBrowdiewasintroduced, and finally they all went upstairs together and spent the nexthalfhourwithgreatsatisfactionandmutualentertainment;MrsJohnBrowdiebeginningtheconversationbydeclaringthatofallthemadeupthingssheeversaw,thatyoungwomanbelowstairswasthevainestandtheplainest.

ThisMr Frank Cheeryble, although, to judge fromwhat had recently takenplace, a hotheaded young man (which is not an absolute miracle andphenomenoninnature),wasasprightly,goodhumoured,pleasantfellow,withmuch both in his countenance and disposition that reminded Nicholas verystronglyofthekindheartedbrothers.Hismannerwasasunaffectedastheirs,and his demeanour full of that heartiness which, to most people who haveanything generous in their composition, is peculiarly prepossessing. Add tothis,thathewasgoodlookingandintelligent,hadaplentifulshareofvivacity,wasextremelycheerful,andaccommodatedhimselfinfiveminutes'timetoallJohnBrowdie's odditieswith asmuch ease as if he had known him from aboy;anditwillbeasourceofnogreatwonderthat,whentheypartedforthenight, he had produced a most favourable impression, not only upon theworthyYorkshiremanandhiswife,butuponNicholasalso,who,revolvingallthesethingsinhismindashemadethebestofhiswayhome,arrivedat the

conclusion thathehad laid thefoundationofamostagreeableanddesirableacquaintance.

'But it's amost extraordinary thing about that registeroffice fellow!' thoughtNicholas.'Isitlikelythatthisnephewcanknowanythingaboutthatbeautifulgirl?WhenTimLinkinwatergavemetounderstandtheotherdaythathewascoming to take a share in the business here, he said he had beensuperintending it in Germany for four years, and that during the last sixmonths he had been engaged in establishing an agency in the north ofEngland.That'sfouryearsandahalffouryearsandahalf.Shecan'tbemorethanseventeensayeighteenattheoutside.Shewasquiteachildwhenhewentaway,then.Ishouldsayheknewnothingaboutherandhadneverseenher,soHEcangivemeno information.Atall events,' thoughtNicholas, coming totherealpointinhismind, 'therecanbenodangerofanyprioroccupationofheraffectionsinthatquarter;that'squiteclear.'

Isselfishnessanecessaryingredientinthecompositionofthatpassioncalledlove,ordoesitdeserveallthefinethingswhichpoets,intheexerciseoftheirundoubted vocation, have said of it? There are, no doubt, authenticatedinstances of gentlemen having given up ladies and ladies having given upgentlementomeritoriousrivals,undercircumstancesofgreathighmindedness;butisitquiteestablishedthatthemajorityofsuchladiesandgentlemenhavenot made a virtue of necessity, and nobly resigned what was beyond theirreach;asaprivatesoldiermightregisteravownevertoaccepttheorderoftheGarter,orapoorcurateofgreatpietyandlearning,butofnofamilysaveaverylargefamilyofchildrenmightrenounceabishopric?

HerewasNicholasNickleby,whowouldhavescornedthethoughtofcountinghow the chances stood of his rising in favour or fortune with the brothersCheeryble,now that theirnephewhad returned, alreadydeep incalculationswhetherthatsamenephewwaslikelytorivalhimintheaffectionsofthefairunknowndiscussingthematterwithhimselftoo,asgravelyasif,withthatoneexception,itwereallsettled;andrecurringtothesubjectagainandagain,andfeelingquiteindignantandillusedatthenotionofanybodyelsemakinglovetoonewithwhomhehadneverexchangedawordinallhislife.Tobesure,heexaggerated rather than depreciated themerits of his new acquaintance; butstillhetookitasakindofpersonaloffencethatheshouldhaveanymeritsatallintheeyesofthisparticularyounglady,thatis;forelsewherehewasquitewelcometohaveasmanyashepleased.Therewasundoubtedselfishnessinallthis,andyetNicholaswasofamostfreeandgenerousnature,withasfewmeanorsordidthoughts,perhaps,aseverfelltothelotofanyman;andthereisnoreasontosupposethat,beinginlove,hefeltandthoughtdifferentlyfromotherpeopleinthelikesublimecondition.

Hedidnotstop tosetonfootan inquiry intohis trainof thoughtorstateoffeeling, however; butwent thinking on all theway home, and continued todreamoninthesamestrainallnight.For,havingsatisfiedhimselfthatFrankCheeryblecouldhavenoknowledgeof,oracquaintancewith,themysteriousyounglady,itbegantooccurtohimthatevenhehimselfmightneverseeheragain; upon which hypothesis he built up a very ingenious succession oftormentingideaswhichansweredhispurposeevenbetterthanthevisionofMrFrankCheeryble,andtantalisedandworriedhim,wakingandsleeping.

Notwithstanding all that has been said and sung to the contrary, there is nowellestablished case of morning having either deferred or hastened itsapproachbythetermofanhourorsoforthemeregratificationofaspleneticfeelingagainstsomeunoffendinglover:thesunhaving,inthedischargeofhispublicduty,asthebooksofprecedentreport,invariablyrisenaccordingtothealmanacs, and without suffering himself to be swayed by any privateconsiderations. So, morning came as usual, and with it businesshours, andwith them Mr Frank Cheeryble, and with him a long train of smiles andwelcomes from the worthy brothers, and a more grave and clerklike, butscarcelylessheartyreceptionfromMrTimothyLinkinwater.

'That Mr Frank and Mr Nickleby should have met last night,' said TimLinkinwater,gettingslowlyoffhisstool,andlookingroundthecountinghousewith his back planted against the desk, as was his custom when he hadanythingveryparticular to say: 'that those twoyoungmen shouldhavemetlast night in thatmanner is, I say, a coincidence, a remarkable coincidence.Why,Idon'tbelievenow,'addedTim,takingoffhisspectacles,andsmilingaswithgentlepride,'thatthere'ssuchaplaceinalltheworldforcoincidencesasLondonis!'

'Idon'tknowaboutthat,'saidMrFrank;'but'

'Don'tknowaboutit,MrFrancis!'interruptedTim,withanobstinateair.'Well,butletusknow.Ifthereisanybetterplaceforsuchthings,whereisit?IsitinEurope?No,thatitisn't.IsitinAsia?Why,ofcourseit'snot.IsitinAfrica?Notabitofit.IsitinAmerica?YOUknowbetterthanthat,atallevents.Well,then,'saidTim,foldinghisarmsresolutely,'whereisit?'

'Iwasnotabouttodisputethepoint,Tim,'saidyoungCheeryble,laughing.'Iamnotsuchahereticas that.AllIwasgoingtosaywas, thatIholdmyselfunderanobligationtothecoincidence,that'sall.'

'Oh!ifyoudon'tdisputeit,'saidTim,quitesatisfied, 'that'sanotherthing.I'lltellyouwhatthough.Iwishyouhad.Iwishyouoranybodywould.Iwouldso put that man down,' said Tim, tapping the forefinger of his left handemphaticallywithhisspectacles,'soputthatmandownbyargument'

It was quite impossible to find language to express the degree of mentalprostrationtowhichsuchanadventurouswightwouldbereducedinthekeenencounterwithTimLinkinwater,soTimgaveuptherestofhisdeclarationinpurelackofwords,andmountedhisstoolagain.

'Wemay consider ourselves, brotherNed,' said Charles, after he had pattedTimLinkinwaterapprovinglyontheback,'veryfortunateinhavingtwosuchyoungmen about us as our nephewFrank andMrNickleby. It should be asourceofgreatsatisfactionandpleasuretous.'

'Certainly,Charles,certainly,'returnedtheother.

'OfTim,'addedbrotherNed, 'Isaynothingwhatever,becauseTimisamerechildaninfantanobodythatweneverthinkofortakeintoaccountatall.Tim,youvillain,whatdoyousaytothat,sir?'

'I am jealous of both of 'em,' said Tim, 'and mean to look out for anothersituation;soprovideyourselves,gentlemen,ifyouplease.'

Timthoughtthissuchanexquisite,unparalleled,andmostextraordinaryjoke,thathe laidhispenuponthe inkstand,andrather tumblingoffhisstool thangetting down with his usual deliberation, laughed till he was quite faint,shakinghisheadall the time so that littleparticlesofpowder flewpalpablyabout the office. Norwere the brothers at all behindhand, for they laughedalmost as heartily at the ludicrous idea of anyvoluntary separationbetweenthemselves andoldTim.Nicholas andMrFrank laughedquite boisterously,perhapstoconcealsomeotheremotionawakenedbythislittleincident,(andso,indeed,didthethreeoldfellowsafterthefirstburst,)soperhapstherewasasmuch keen enjoyment and relish in that laugh, altogether, as the politestassembly ever derived from themost poignantwitticism uttered at any oneperson'sexpense.

'MrNickleby,'saidbrotherCharles,callinghimaside,andtakinghimkindlyby the hand, 'IIam anxious, my dear sir, to see that you are properly andcomfortablysettledinthecottage.Wecannotallowthosewhoserveuswelltolabourunderanyprivationordiscomfort that it is inourpower toremove. Iwish,too,toseeyourmotherandsister:toknowthem,MrNickleby,andhavean opportunity of relieving their minds by assuring them that any triflingservicewehavebeenabletodothemisagreatdealmorethanrepaidbythezeal and ardour you display.Not a word, my dear sir, I beg. Tomorrow isSunday. I shall make bold to come out at teatime, and take the chance offinding you at home; if you are not, you know, or the ladies should feel adelicacyinbeingintrudedon,andwouldrathernotbeknowntomejustnow,why I cancomeagainanother time, anyother timewoulddo forme.Let itremainuponthatunderstanding.BrotherNed,mydearfellow, letmehavea

wordwithyouthisway.'

Thetwinswentoutoftheofficearminarm,andNicholas,whosawinthisactofkindness,andmanyothersofwhichhehadbeenthesubjectthatmorning,only so many delicate renewals on the arrival of their nephew of the kindassurancewhichthebrothershadgivenhiminhisabsence,couldscarcelyfeelsufficientadmirationandgratitudeforsuchextraordinaryconsideration.

The intelligence that they were to have visitorand such a visitornext day,awakened in the breast ofMrsNicklebymingled feelings of exultation andregret; forwhereas on the one hand she hailed it as an omenof her speedyrestorationtogoodsocietyandthealmostforgottenpleasuresofmorningcallsand evening teadrinkings, she could not, on the other, but reflect withbitternessofspiritontheabsenceofasilverteapotwithanivoryknobonthelid,andamilkjugtomatch,whichhadbeentheprideofherheartindaysofyore, and had been kept from year's end to year's end wrapped up inwashleatheronacertaintopshelfwhichnowpresenteditselfinlivelycolourstohersorrowingimagination.

'Iwonderwho's got that spicebox,' saidMrsNickleby, shaking her head. 'Itused tostand in the lefthandcorner,nextbut twoto thepickledonions.Yourememberthatspicebox,Kate?'

'Perfectlywell,mama.'

'I shouldn't thinkyoudid,Kate,' returnedMrsNickleby, inaseveremanner,'talkingaboutitinthatcoldandunfeelingway!Ifthereisanyonethingthatvexesme in these lossesmore than the losses themselves, I do protest anddeclare,'saidMrsNickleby,rubbinghernosewithanimpassionedair,'thatitistohavepeopleaboutmewhotakethingswithsuchprovokingcalmness.'

'Mydearmama,'saidKate,stealingherarmroundhermother'sneck,'whydoyou saywhat I knowyou cannot seriouslymean or think, orwhy be angrywithmeforbeinghappyandcontent?YouandNicholasarelefttome,wearetogether once again, andwhat regard can I have for a few trifling things ofwhichweneverfeelthewant?WhenIhaveseenallthemiseryanddesolationthat death can bring, and known the lonesome feeling of being solitary andaloneincrowds,andalltheagonyofseparationingriefandpovertywhenwemostneededcomfortandsupportfromeachother,canyouwonderthatIlookuponthisasaplaceofsuchdeliciousquietandrest,thatwithyoubesidemeIhavenothingtowishfororregret?Therewasatime,andnotlongsince,whenall the comforts of our old home did come back upon me, I own, veryoftenoftener than youwould think perhapsbut I affected to care nothing forthem,inthehopethatyouwouldsobebroughttoregretthemtheless.Iwasnot insensible, indeed. Imight have felt happier if I hadbeen.Dearmama,'

saidKate,ingreatagitation,'Iknownodifferencebetweenthishomeandthatinwhichwewereallsohappyforsomanyyears,exceptthatthekindestandgentlestheartthateverachedonearthhaspassedinpeacetoheaven.'

'Katemydear,Kate,'criedMrsNickleby,foldingherinherarms.

'Ihavesooftenthought,'sobbedKate,'ofallhiskindwordsofthelasttimehelookedintomylittleroom,ashepassedupstairstobed,andsaid"Godblessyou,darling."Therewasapalenessinhisface,mamathebrokenheartIknowitwasIlittlethoughtsothen'

Agushof tearscametoherrelief,andKatelaidherheaduponhermother'sbreast,andweptlikealittlechild.

It is an exquisite and beautiful thing in our nature, that when the heart istouchedand softenedby some tranquilhappinessor affectionate feeling, thememoryof thedeadcomesover itmostpowerfullyandirresistibly.Itwouldalmost seem as though our better thoughts and sympathieswere charms, invirtue of which the soul is enabled to hold some vague and mysteriousintercoursewiththespiritsofthosewhomwedearlylovedinlife.Alas!howoftenandhowlongmaythosepatientangelshoveraboveus,watchingforthespellwhichissoseldomuttered,andsosoonforgotten!

Poor Mrs Nickleby, accustomed to give ready utterance to whatever cameuppermostinhermind,hadneverconceivedthepossibilityofherdaughter'sdwellinguponthesethoughtsinsecret,themoreespeciallyasnohardtrialorquerulous reproach had ever drawn them from her. But now, when thehappiness of all that Nicholas had just told them, and of their new andpeacefullife,broughttheserecollectionssostronglyuponKatethatshecouldnot suppress them,MrsNickleby began to have a glimmering that she hadbeen rather thoughtless now and then, andwas conscious of something likeselfreproachassheembracedherdaughter,andyieldedtotheemotionswhichsuchaconversationnaturallyawakened.

Therewasamightybustlethatnight,andavastquantityofpreparationfortheexpectedvisitor,andaverylargenosegaywasbroughtfromagardener'shardby, and cut up into a number of very small ones,withwhichMrsNicklebywouldhavegarnishedthelittlesittingroom,inastylethatcertainlycouldnothavefailedtoattractanybody'sattention,ifKatehadnotofferedtospareherthetrouble,andarrangedthemintheprettiestandneatestmannerpossible.Ifthecottageeverlookedpretty,itmusthavebeenonsuchabrightandsunshinydayasthenextdaywas.ButSmike'sprideinthegarden,orMrsNickleby'sintheconditionofthefurniture,orKate'sineverything,wasnothingtothepridewithwhichNicholaslookedatKateherself;andsurelythecostliestmansionin all Englandmight have found in her beautiful face and graceful form its

mostexquisiteandpeerlessornament.

About six o'clock in the afternoon Mrs Nickleby was thrown into a greatflutterofspiritsbythelongexpectedknockatthedoor,norwasthisflutteratallcomposedbytheaudibletreadoftwopairofbootsinthepassage,whichMrsNicklebyaugured,inabreathlessstate,mustbe'thetwoMrCheerybles;'asitcertainlywas,thoughnotthetwoMrsNicklebyexpected,becauseitwasMr Charles Cheeryble, and his nephew, Mr Frank, who made a thousandapologiesforhisintrusion,whichMrsNickleby(havingteaspoonsenoughandto spare for all) most graciously received. Nor did the appearance of thisunexpectedvisitoroccasion the least embarrassment, (save inKate, and thatonlytotheextentofablushortwoatfirst,)fortheoldgentlemanwassokindandcordial,andtheyounggentlemanimitatedhiminthisrespectsowell,thatthe usual stiffness and formality of a first meeting showed no signs ofappearing,andKatereallymorethanoncedetectedherselfintheveryactofwonderingwhenitwasgoingtobegin.

Attheteatabletherewasplentyofconversationonagreatvarietyofsubjects,norwere therewanting jocosematters of discussion, such as theywere; foryoungMrCheeryble'srecentstayinGermanyhappeningtobealludedto,oldMrCheeryble informed thecompany that theaforesaidyoungMrCheeryblewas suspected to have fallen deeply in love with the daughter of a certainGermanburgomaster.ThisaccusationyoungMrCheeryblemost indignantlyrepelled,uponwhichMrsNicklebyslylyremarked, thatshesuspected, fromthe very warmth of the denial, there must be something in it. Young MrCheeryblethenearnestlyentreatedoldMrCheerybletoconfessthatitwasallajest,whicholdMrCheerybleatlastdid,youngMrCheeryblebeingsomuchinearnestaboutit,thatasMrsNicklebysaidmanythousandtimesafterwardsin recalling the scenehe 'quite coloured,' which she rightly considered amemorablecircumstance,andoneworthyofremark,youngmennotbeingasaclassremarkableformodestyorselfdenial,especiallywhenthereisaladyinthe case,when, if they colour at all, it is rather their practice to colour thestory,andnotthemselves.

Afterteatherewasawalkinthegarden,andtheeveningbeingveryfinetheystrolledoutatthegardengateintosomelanesandbyeroads,andsaunteredupanddownuntilitgrewquitedark.Thetimeseemedtopassveryquicklywithalltheparty.Katewentfirst,leaninguponherbrother'sarm,andtalkingwithhim and Mr Frank Cheeryble; and Mrs Nickleby and the elder gentlemanfollowedatashortdistance,thekindnessofthegoodmerchant,hisinterestinthe welfare of Nicholas, and his admiration of Kate, so operating upon thegoodlady'sfeelings,thattheusualcurrentofherspeechwasconfinedwithinvery narrow and circumscribed limits. Smike (who, if he had ever been anobjectofinterestinhislife,hadbeenonethatday)accompaniedthem,joining

sometimesonegroupandsometimestheother,asbrotherCharles,layinghishand upon his shoulder, bade him walk with him, or Nicholas, lookingsmilingly round, beckoned him to come and talk with the old friend whounderstoodhimbest,andwhocouldwinasmileintohiscarewornfacewhennoneelsecould.

Prideisoneofthesevendeadlysins;butitcannotbetheprideofamotherinherchildren,forthatisacompoundoftwocardinalvirtuesfaithandhope.Thiswas thepridewhichswelledMrsNickleby'sheart thatnight,and this itwaswhich left upon her face, glistening in the light when they returned home,tracesofthemostgratefultearsshehadevershed.

Therewasaquietmirthaboutthelittlesupper,whichharmonisedexactlywiththis toneof feeling, andat length the twogentlemen took their leave.Therewas one circumstance in the leavetaking which occasioned a vast deal ofsmiling and pleasantry, and that was, that Mr Frank Cheeryble offered hishand toKate twiceover,quite forgetting thathehadbadeheradieualready.ThiswasheldbytheelderMrCheerybletobeaconvincingproofthathewasthinkingofhisGermanflame,and the jestoccasioned immense laughter.Soeasyisittomovelighthearts.

In short, it was a day of serene and tranquil happiness; and aswe all havesomebrightdaymanyofus,letushope,amongacrowdofotherstowhichwerevertwithparticulardelight,sothisonewasoftenlookedbacktoafterwards,asholdingaconspicuousplaceinthecalendarofthosewhosharedit.

Was there one exception, and that one he who needed to have been mosthappy?

Whowasthatwho,inthesilenceofhisownchamber,sunkuponhiskneestopray as his first friendhad taught him, and foldinghis hands and stretchingthemwildlyintheair,felluponhisfaceinapassionofbittergrief?

CHAPTER44

MrRalphNicklebycutsanoldAcquaintance. Itwouldalsoappear fromtheContents hereof, that a Joke, even between Husband and Wife, may besometimescarriedtoofar

Therearesomemenwho,livingwiththeoneobjectofenrichingthemselves,nomatterbywhatmeans,andbeingperfectlyconsciousof thebasenessandrascalityofthemeanswhichtheywilluseeverydaytowardsthisend,affect

neverthelesseventothemselvesahightoneofmoralrectitude,andshaketheirheads and sigh over the depravity of the world. Some of the craftiestscoundrelsthateverwalkedthisearth,orratherforwalkingimplies,atleast,anerectpositionandthebearingofamanthatevercrawledandcreptthroughlifebyitsdirtiestandnarrowestways,willgravelyjotdownindiariestheeventsof every day, and keep a regular debtor and creditor account with Heaven,whichshallalwaysshowafloatingbalanceintheirownfavour.Whetherthisisagratuitous(theonlygratuitous)partofthefalsehoodandtrickeryofsuchmen's lives, or whether they really hope to cheat Heaven itself, and lay uptreasureinthenextworldbythesameprocesswhichhasenabledthemtolayup treasure in thisnot to question how it is, so it is. And, doubtless, suchbookkeeping(likecertainautobiographieswhichhaveenlightenedtheworld)cannot fail to prove serviceable, in the one respect of sparing the recordingAngelsometimeandlabour.

RalphNicklebywasnotamanof thisstamp.Stern,unyielding,dogged,andimpenetrable, Ralph cared for nothing in life, or beyond it, save thegratificationoftwopassions,avarice,thefirstandpredominantappetiteofhisnature,andhatred,thesecond.Affectingtoconsiderhimselfbutatypeofallhumanity,hewasatlittlepainstoconcealhistruecharacterfromtheworldingeneral,andinhisownheartheexultedoverandcherishedeverybaddesignasithadbirth.TheonlyscripturaladmonitionthatRalphNicklebyheeded,intheletter,was'knowthyself.'Heknewhimselfwell,andchoosingtoimaginethatallmankindwerecastinthesamemould,hatedthem;for,thoughnomanhates himself, the coldest among us having too much selflove for that, yetmostmenunconsciouslyjudgetheworldfromthemselves,anditwillbeverygenerallyfoundthatthosewhosneerhabituallyathumannature,andaffecttodespiseit,areamongitsworstandleastpleasantsamples.

ButthepresentbusinessoftheseadventuresiswithRalphhimself,whostoodregardingNewmanNoggswithaheavyfrown,whilethatworthytookoffhisfingerlessgloves,andspreading themcarefullyon thepalmofhis lefthand,and flattening themwith his right to take the creases out, proceeded to rollthemupwithanabsentairasifhewereutterlyregardlessofallthingselse,inthedeepinterestoftheceremonial.

'Goneoutoftown!'saidRalph,slowly.'Amistakeofyours.Gobackagain.'

'Nomistake,'returnedNewman.'Notevengoing;gone.'

'Hasheturnedgirlorbaby?'mutteredRalph,withafretfulgesture.

'Idon'tknow,'saidNewman,'buthe'sgone.'

The repetition of the word 'gone' seemed to afford Newman Noggsinexpressibledelight, inproportionasitannoyedRalphNickleby.Heuttered

thewordwithafullroundemphasis,dwellinguponitaslongashedecentlycould, andwhenhecouldholdoutno longerwithoutattractingobservation,stoodgaspingittohimselfasifeventhatwereasatisfaction.

'AndWHEREhashegone?'saidRalph.

'France,' replied Newman. 'Danger of another attack of erysipelasa worseattackinthehead.Sothedoctorsorderedhimoff.Andhe'sgone.'

'AndLordFrederick?'beganRalph.

'He'sgonetoo,'repliedNewman.

'And he carries his drubbingwith him, does he?' said Ralph, turning away;'pockets his bruises, and sneaks off without the retaliation of a word, orseekingthesmallestreparation!'

'He'stooill,'saidNewman.

'Tooill!'repeatedRalph. 'WhyIwouldhaveitifIweredying;inthatcaseIshouldonlybethemoredeterminedtohaveit,andthatwithoutdelayImeanifIwerehe.Buthe'stooill!PoorSirMulberry!Tooill!'

Uttering thesewordswith supreme contempt and great irritation ofmanner,RalphsignedhastilytoNewmantoleavetheroom;andthrowinghimselfintohischair,beathisfootimpatientlyupontheground.

'There is some spell about that boy,' said Ralph, grinding his teeth.'Circumstancesconspiretohelphim.Talkoffortune'sfavours!WhatisevenmoneytosuchDevil'sluckasthis?'

He thrust his hands impatiently into his pockets, but notwithstanding hisprevious reflection therewas some consolation there, for his face relaxed alittle;andalthough therewasstilladeepfrownupon thecontractedbrow, itwasoneofcalculation,andnotofdisappointment.

'ThisHawkwillcomeback,however,'mutteredRalph;'andifIknowtheman(andIshouldbythistime)hiswrathwillhavelostnothingofitsviolenceinthemeanwhile.Obligedtoliveinretirementthemonotonyofasickroomtoamanofhishabitsnolifenodrinknoplaynothingthathelikesandlivesby.Heisnotlikelytoforgethisobligationstothecauseofallthis.Fewmenwould;butheofallothers?No,no!'

He smiled and shook his head, and resting his chin upon his hand, fell amusing,andsmiledagain.Afteratimeheroseandrangthebell.

'ThatMrSqueers;hashebeenhere?'saidRalph.

'Hewasherelastnight.IlefthimherewhenIwenthome,'returnedNewman.

'I know that, fool, do I not?' saidRalph, irascibly. 'Has he been here since?Washeherethismorning?'

'No,'bawledNewman,inaveryloudkey.

'IfhecomeswhileIamoutheisprettysuretobeherebyninetonightlethimwait.Andifthere'sanothermanwithhim,astherewillbeperhaps,'saidRalph,checkinghimself,'lethimwaittoo.'

'Let'embothwait?'saidNewman.

'Ay,' repliedRalph, turninguponhimwith an angry look. 'Helpmeonwiththisspencer,anddon'trepeatafterme,likeacroakingparrot.'

'IwishIwasaparrot,'Newman,sulkily.

'I wish you were,' rejoined Ralph, drawing his spencer on; 'I'd have wrungyournecklongago.'

Newman returned no answer to this compliment, but looked over Ralph'sshoulderforaninstant,(hewasadjustingthecollarofthespencerbehind,justthen,) as if he were strongly disposed to tweak him by the nose. MeetingRalph'seye,however,hesuddenlyrecalledhiswanderingfingers,andrubbedhisownrednosewithavehemencequiteastonishing.

Bestowing no further notice upon his eccentric follower than a threateninglook,andanadmonitiontobecarefulandmakenomistake,Ralphtookhishatandgloves,andwalkedout.

Heappearedtohaveaveryextraordinaryandmiscellaneousconnection,andvery odd calls hemade, some at great rich houses, and some at small poorones,butallupononesubject:money.Hisfacewasatalismantotheportersandservantsofhismoredashingclients,andprocuredhimreadyadmission,thoughhetrudgedonfoot,andothers,whoweredenied,rattledtothedoorincarriages.Herehewasallsoftnessandcringingcivility;hisstepsolight,thatit scarcelyproduceda soundupon the thickcarpets;hisvoice so soft that itwas not audible beyond the person to whom it was addressed. But in thepoorerhabitationsRalphwasanotherman;hisbootscreakeduponthepassagefloorashewalkedboldlyin;hisvoicewasharshandloudashedemandedthemoneythatwasoverdue;histhreatswerecoarseandangry.Withanotherclassof customers, Ralphwas again anotherman. Thesewere attorneys ofmorethan doubtful reputation, who helped him to new business, or raised freshprofits uponold.With themRalphwas familiar and jocose, humorous uponthetopicsoftheday,andespeciallypleasantuponbankruptciesandpecuniarydifficultiesthatmadegoodfortrade.Inshort,itwouldhavebeendifficulttohaverecognisedthesamemanunderthesevariousaspects,butforthebulky

leather case full of bills and noteswhich he drew from his pocket at everyhouse,andtheconstantrepetitionofthesamecomplaint,(variedonlyintoneand style of delivery,) that theworld thought him rich, and that perhaps hemightbe ifhehadhisown;but therewasnogettingmoney inwhen itwasonceout,eitherprincipalorinterest,anditwasahardmattertolive;eventolivefromdaytoday.

Itwaseveningbeforealongroundofsuchvisits(interruptedonlybyascantydinner at an eatinghouse) terminated atPimlico, andRalphwalked alongStJames'sPark,onhiswayhome.

There were some deep schemes in his head, as the puckered brow andfirmlyset mouth would have abundantly testified, even if they had beenunaccompanied by a complete indifference to, or unconsciousness of, theobjects about him. So complete was his abstraction, however, that Ralph,usuallyasquicksightedasanyman,didnotobservethathewasfollowedbyashamblingfigure,whichatonetimestolebehindhimwithnoiselessfootsteps,at another crept a fewpaces before him, and at another glided alongbyhisside;atalltimesregardinghimwithaneyesokeen,andalooksoeagerandattentive, that it wasmore like the expression of an intrusive face in somepowerfulpictureorstronglymarkeddream,thanthescrutinyevenofamostinterestedandanxiousobserver.

Theskyhadbeenloweringanddarkforsometime,andthecommencementofaviolentstormofraindroveRalphforsheltertoatree.Hewasleaningagainstitwithfoldedarms,stillburiedinthought,when,happeningtoraisehiseyes,hesuddenlymetthoseofamanwho,creepingroundthetrunk,peeredintohisfacewithasearchinglook.Therewassomethingintheusurer'sexpressionatthemoment,which themanappeared to rememberwell, for it decidedhim;andsteppingcloseuptoRalph,hepronouncedhisname.

Astonished for themoment,Ralph fellbackacoupleofpacesandsurveyedhim fromhead to foot.A spare, dark,witheredman, of about his own age,with a stooping body, and a very sinister face renderedmore illfavoured byhollowandhungrycheeks,deeplysunburnt,andthickblackeyebrows,blackerin contrastwith theperfectwhitenessofhishair; roughly clothed in shabbygarments,ofastrangeanduncouthmake;andhavingabouthimanindefinablemannerofdepressionanddegradationthis,foramoment,wasallhesaw.Buthe looked again, and the face and person seemed gradually to grow lessstrange; to change as he looked, to subside and soften into lineaments thatwere familiar, until at last they resolved themselves, as if by some strangeoptical illusion, into thoseof onewhomhehadknown formanyyears, andforgottenandlostsightoffornearlyasmanymore.

Themansawthattherecognitionwasmutual,andbeckoningtoRalphtotake

hisformerplaceunderthetree,andnottostandinthefallingrain,ofwhich,inhisfirstsurprise,hehadbeenquiteregardless,addressedhiminahoarse,fainttone.

'Youwouldhardlyhaveknownmefrommyvoice,Isuppose,MrNickleby?'hesaid.

'No,' returned Ralph, bending a severe look upon him. 'Though there issomethinginthat,thatIremembernow.'

'Thereislittleinmethatyoucancalltomindashavingbeenthereeightyearsago,Idaresay?'observedtheother.

'Quite enough,' said Ralph, carelessly, and averting his face. 'More thanenough.'

'If I had remained in doubt about YOU,Mr Nickleby,' said the other, 'thisreception,andYOURmanner,wouldhavedecidedmeverysoon.'

'Didyouexpectanyother?'askedRalph,sharply.

'No!'saidtheman.

'You were right,' retorted Ralph; 'and as you feel no surprise, need expressnone.'

'MrNickleby,'saidtheman,bluntly,afterabriefpause,duringwhichhehadseemedtostrugglewithaninclinationtoanswerhimbysomereproach,'willyouhearafewwordsthatIhavetosay?'

'I am obliged to wait here till the rain holds a little,' said Ralph, lookingabroad. 'If you talk, sir, I shall not putmy fingers inmy ears, though yourtalkingmayhaveasmucheffectasifIdid.'

'I was once in your confidence' thus his companion began. Ralph lookedround,andsmiledinvoluntarily.

'Well,' said the other, 'asmuch in your confidence as you ever chose to letanybodybe.'

'Ah!' rejoined Ralph, folding his arms; 'that's another thing, quite anotherthing.'

'Don'tletusplayuponwords,MrNickleby,inthenameofhumanity.'

'Ofwhat?'saidRalph.

'Of humanity,' replied the other, sternly. 'I am hungry and in want. If thechangethatyoumustseeinmeaftersolonganabsencemustsee,forI,uponwhomithascomebyslowandharddegrees,seeitandknowitwellwillnot

move you to pity, let the knowledge that bread; not the daily bread of theLord's Prayer, which, as it is offered up in cities like this, is understood toincludehalftheluxuriesoftheworldfortherich,andjustasmuchcoarsefoodaswillsupportlifeforthepoornotthat,butbread,acrustofdryhardbread,isbeyondmyreachtodayletthathavesomeweightwithyou,ifnothingelsehas.'

'Ifthisistheusualforminwhichyoubeg,sir,'saidRalph, 'youhavestudiedyourpartwell;butifyouwilltakeadvicefromonewhoknowssomethingoftheworldanditsways,Ishouldrecommendalowertone;alittlelowertone,oryoustandafairchanceofbeingstarvedingoodearnest.'

Ashesaidthis,Ralphclenchedhisleftwrist tightlywithhisrighthand,andinclininghisheada littleononesideanddroppinghischinuponhisbreast,looked at him whom he addressed with a frowning, sullen face. The verypictureofamanwhomnothingcouldmoveorsoften.

'Yesterday was my first day in London,' said the old man, glancing at histravelstaineddressandwornshoes.

'Itwouldhavebeenbetterforyou,Ithink,ifithadbeenyourlastalso,'repliedRalph.

'Ihavebeenseekingyouthesetwodays,whereIthoughtyouweremostlikelytobefound,'resumedtheothermorehumbly,'andImetyouhereatlast,whenIhadalmostgivenupthehopeofencounteringyou,MrNickleby.'

Heseemedtowaitforsomereply,butRalphgivinghimnone,hecontinued:

'I am amostmiserable andwretched outcast, nearly sixty years old, and asdestituteandhelplessasachildofsix.'

'Iamsixtyyearsold,too,'repliedRalph,'andamneitherdestitutenorhelpless.Work.Don'tmakefineplayactingspeechesaboutbread,butearnit.'

'How?' cried theother. 'Where?Showme themeans.Will yougive them tomewillyou?'

'Ididonce,'repliedRalph,composedly; 'youscarcelyneedaskmewhetherIwillagain.'

'It'stwentyyearsago,ormore,'saidtheman,inasuppressedvoice,'sinceyouand I fell out.You remember that? I claimed a share in the profits of somebusiness I brought to you, and, as I persisted, you arrested me for an oldadvanceoftenpounds,oddshillings,includinginterestatfiftypercent,orso.'

'Iremembersomethingofit,'repliedRalph,carelessly.'Whatthen?'

'Thatdidn'tpartus,'saidtheman.'Imadesubmission,beingonthewrongside

oftheboltsandbars;andasyouwerenotthemademanthenthatyouarenow,youwere glad enough to take back a clerkwhowasn't over nice, andwhoknewsomethingofthetradeyoudrove.'

'Youbeggedandprayed,andIconsented,' returnedRalph. 'Thatwaskindofme.PerhapsIdidwantyou.Iforget.IshouldthinkIdid,oryouwouldhavebeggedinvain.Youwereuseful;nottoohonest,nottoodelicate,nottooniceofhandorheart;butuseful.'

'Useful,indeed!'saidtheman.'Come.Youhadpinchedandgroundmedownforsomeyearsbeforethat,butIhadservedyoufaithfullyuptothattime,inspiteofallyourdog'susage.HadI?'

Ralphmadenoreply.

'HadI?'saidthemanagain.

'Youhadhadyourwages,'rejoinedRalph,'andhaddoneyourwork.Westoodonequalgroundsofar,andcouldbothcryquits.'

'Then,butnotafterwards,'saidtheother.

'Notafterwards,certainly,noreventhen,for(asyouhavejustsaid)youowedmemoney,anddostill,'repliedRalph.

'That'snotall,'saidtheman,eagerly.'That'snotall.Markthat.Ididn'tforgetthatoldsore,trustme.Partlyinremembranceofthat,andpartlyinthehopeofmakingmoneysomedaybythescheme,Itookadvantageofmypositionaboutyou,andpossessedmyselfofaholduponyou,whichyouwouldgivehalfofallyouhavetoknow,andnevercanknowbutthroughme.Ileftyoulongafterthattime,rememberand,forsomepoortrickerythatcamewithinthelaw,butwasnothingtowhatyoumoneymakersdailypractisejustoutsideitsbounds,was sent away a convict for seven years. I have returnedwhat you seeme.Now,MrNickleby,'saidtheman,withastrangemixtureofhumilityandsenseofpower,'whathelpandassistancewillyougiveme;whatbribe,tospeakoutplainly?Myexpectationsarenotmonstrous,butImustlive,andtoliveImusteatanddrink.Moneyisonyourside,andhungerandthirstonmine.Youmaydriveaneasybargain.'

'Isthatall?'saidRalph,stilleyeinghiscompanionwiththesamesteadylook,andmovingnothingbuthislips.

'Itdependsonyou,MrNickleby,whetherthat'sallornot,'wastherejoinder.

'Why then, harkye,Mr, I don't know bywhat name I am to call you,' saidRalph.

'Bymyoldone,ifyoulike.'

'Whythen,harkye,MrBrooker,'saidRalph,inhisharshestaccents,'anddon'texpecttodrawanotherspeechfromme.Harkye,sir.Iknowyouofoldforareadyscoundrel,butyouneverhadastoutheart;andhardwork,with(maybe)chainsuponthoselegsofyours,andshorterfoodthanwhenI"pinched"and"ground"you,hasbluntedyourwits,oryouwouldnotcomewithsuchataleasthistome.Youaholduponme!Keepit,orpublishittotheworld,ifyoulike.'

'Ican'tdothat,'interposedBrooker.'Thatwouldn'tserveme.'

'Wouldn't it?' saidRalph. 'It will serve you asmuch as bringing it tome, Ipromiseyou.Tobeplainwithyou,Iamacarefulman,andknowmyaffairsthoroughly. I know the world, and the world knows me. Whatever yougleaned, or heard, or saw, when you served me, the world knows andmagnifies already. You could tell it nothing that would surprise it, unless,indeed,itredoundedtomycreditorhonour,andthenitwouldscoutyouforaliar. And yet I don't find business slack, or clients scrupulous. Quite thecontrary. I am reviled or threatened every day by oneman or another,' saidRalph;'butthingsrollonjustthesame,andIdon'tgrowpoorereither.'

'Ineitherrevilenorthreaten,'rejoinedtheman.'Icantellyouofwhatyouhavelostbymyact,what Ionlycan restore,andwhat, if Idiewithout restoring,dieswithme,andnevercanberegained.'

'Itellmymoneyprettyaccurately,andgenerallykeepitinmyowncustody,'saidRalph. 'I looksharplyaftermostmenthat Idealwith,andmostofall Ilookedsharplyafteryou.Youarewelcometoallyouhavekeptfromme.'

'Arethoseofyourownnamedeartoyou?'saidthemanemphatically.'Iftheyare'

'They are not,' returned Ralph, exasperated at this perseverance, and thethoughtofNicholas,whichthelastquestionawakened. 'Theyarenot.Ifyouhad come as a common beggar, I might have thrown a sixpence to you inremembranceof the cleverknaveyouused tobe; but sinceyou try topalmthesestale tricksupononeyoumighthaveknownbetter, I'llnotpartwithahalfpennynor would I to save you from rotting. And remember this,'scapegallows,'saidRalph,menacinghimwithhishand,'thatifwemeetagain,andyousomuchasnoticemebyonebegginggesture,youshallseetheinsideof a jail oncemore, and tighten this hold uponme in intervals of the hardlabourthatvagabondsareputto.There'smyanswertoyourtrash.Takeit.'

Withadisdainfulscowlattheobjectofhisanger,whomethiseyebututterednot a word, Ralph walked away at his usual pace, without manifesting theslightestcuriosity toseewhatbecameofhis latecompanion,or indeedoncelookingbehindhim.Themanremainedonthesamespotwithhiseyesfixed

uponhisretreatingfigureuntil itwaslost toview,andthendrawinghisarmabouthischest,asifthedampandlackoffoodstruckcoldlytohim,lingeredwithslouchingstepsbythewayside,andbeggedofthosewhopassedalong.

Ralph, in nowisemoved by what had lately passed, further than as he hadalreadyexpressedhimself,walkeddeliberatelyon,andturningoutoftheParkandleavingGoldenSquareonhisright,tookhiswaythroughsomestreetsatthewestendofthetownuntilhearrivedinthatparticularoneinwhichstoodtheresidenceofMadameMantalini.Thenameofthatladynolongerappearedontheflamingdoorplate,thatofMissKnagbeingsubstitutedinitsstead;butthebonnetsanddresseswerestilldimlyvisible in the firstfloorwindowsbythe decaying light of a summer's evening, and excepting this ostensiblealterationintheproprietorship,theestablishmentworeitsoldappearance.

'Humph!' muttered Ralph, drawing his hand across his mouth with aconnoisseurlikeair,andsurveyingthehousefromtoptobottom;'thesepeoplelook prettywell. They can't last long; but if I know of their going in goodtime,Iamsafe,andafairprofittoo.Imustkeepthemcloselyinview;that'sall.'

So,noddinghisheadverycomplacently,Ralphwasleavingthespot,whenhisquickearcaughtthesoundofaconfusednoiseandhubbubofvoices,mingledwithagreatrunningupanddownstairs,intheveryhousewhichhadbeenthesubjectofhis scrutiny; andwhilehewashesitatingwhether toknockat thedoor or listen at the keyhole a little longer, a female servant of MadameMantalini's (whom he had often seen) opened it abruptly and bounced out,withherbluecapribbonsstreamingintheair.

'Hallohere.Stop!'criedRalph.'What'sthematter?HereamI.Didn'tyouhearmeknock?'

'Oh!MrNickleby,sir,'saidthegirl.'Goup,fortheloveofGracious.Master'sbeenanddoneitagain.'

'Donewhat?'saidRalph,tartly;'whatd'yemean?'

'Iknewhewouldifhewasdrovetoit,'criedthegirl.'Isaidsoallalong.'

'Comehere,yousillywench,'saidRalph,catchingherbythewrist;'anddon'tcarry family matters to the neighbours, destroying the credit of theestablishment.Comehere;doyouhearme,girl?'

Without any further expostulation, he led or rather pulled the frightenedhandmaid into the house, and shut the door; then bidding herwalk upstairsbeforehim,followedwithoutmoreceremony.

Guidedby thenoiseofagreatmanyvoicesall talking together,andpassing

thegirlinhisimpatience,beforetheyhadascendedmanysteps,Ralphquicklyreachedtheprivatesittingroom,whenhewasratheramazedbytheconfusedandinexplicablesceneinwhichhesuddenlyfoundhimself.

Therewerealltheyoungladyworkers,somewithbonnetsandsomewithout,in various attitudes expressive of alarm and consternation; some gatheredroundMadameMantalini,whowasintearsupononechair;andothersroundMissKnag,whowas inopposition tearsuponanother; andothers roundMrMantalini,whowasperhaps themoststriking figure in thewholegroup, forMrMantalini'slegswereextendedatfulllengthuponthefloor,andhisheadandshouldersweresupportedbyaverytallfootman,whodidn'tseemtoknowwhattodowiththem,andMrMantalini'seyeswereclosed,andhisfacewaspaleandhishairwascomparativelystraight,andhiswhiskersandmoustachewerelimp,andhisteethwereclenched,andhehadalittlebottleinhisrighthand,andalittleteaspooninhisleft;andhishands,arms,legs,andshoulders,were all stiff and powerless. And yet MadameMantalini was not weepinguponthebody,butwasscoldingviolentlyuponherchair;andallthisamidstaclamour of tongues perfectly deafening, and which really appeared to havedriventheunfortunatefootmantotheutmostvergeofdistraction.

'Whatisthematterhere?'saidRalph,pressingforward.

At this inquiry, the clamour was increased twentyfold, and an astoundingstringof such shrill contradictions as 'He's poisonedhimself''Hehasn't''Sendforadoctor''Don't''He'sdying''Heisn't,he'sonlypretending'withvariousothercries, poured forthwithbewilderingvolubility, untilMadameMantaliniwasseen to address herself to Ralph, when female curiosity to know what shewouldsay,prevailed,and,asifbygeneralconsent,adeadsilence,unbrokenbyasinglewhisper,instantaneouslysucceeded.

'MrNickleby,'saidMadameMantalini;'bywhatchanceyoucamehere,Idon'tknow.'

Hereagurglingvoicewasheard toejaculate,aspartof thewanderingsofasickman, thewords 'Demnition sweetness!' butnobodyheeded themexceptthe footman,who, being startled to hear such awful tones proceeding, as itwere,frombetweenhisveryfingers,droppedhismaster'sheaduponthefloorwithapretty loudcrash,and then,withoutaneffort to lift itup,gazeduponthebystanders,asifhehaddonesomethingrathercleverthanotherwise.

'Iwill,however,'continuedMadameMantalini,dryinghereyes,andspeakingwithgreatindignation,'saybeforeyou,andbeforeeverybodyhere,forthefirsttime,andonce forall, that Ineverwill supply thatman'sextravagancesandviciousnessagain.Ihavebeenadupeandafooltohimlongenough.Infuture,he shall support himself if he can, and then hemay spend what money he

pleases, upon whom and how he pleases; but it shall not be mine, andthereforeyouhadbetterpausebeforeyoutrusthimfurther.'

Thereupon Madame Mantalini, quite unmoved by some most patheticlamentationsonthepartofherhusband,thattheapothecaryhadnotmixedtheprussic acid strong enough, and that he must take another bottle or two tofinish the work he had in hand, entered into a catalogue of that amiablegentleman'sgallantries,deceptions,extravagances,andinfidelities(especiallythe last), winding upwith a protest against being supposed to entertain thesmallestremnantofregardforhim;andadducing,inproofofthealteredstateofheraffections, thecircumstanceofhishavingpoisonedhimself inprivateno less than six times within the last fortnight, and her not having onceinterferedbywordordeedtosavehislife.

'And I insistonbeingseparatedand left tomyself,' saidMadameMantalini,sobbing. 'Ifhedarestorefusemeaseparation,I'llhaveoneinlawIcanandIhope this will be a warning to all girls who have seen this disgracefulexhibition.'

Miss Knag, who was unquestionably the oldest girl in company, said withgreat solemnity, that it would be a warning to HER, and so did the youngladiesgenerally,with theexceptionofoneor twowhoappeared toentertainsomedoubtswhethersuchwhisperscoulddowrong.

'Whydoyousayallthisbeforesomanylisteners?'saidRalph,inalowvoice.'Youknowyouarenotinearnest.'

'I AM in earnest,' repliedMadameMantalini, aloud, and retreating towardsMissKnag.

'Well,butconsider,'reasonedRalph,whohadagreatinterestinthematter.'Itwouldbewelltoreflect.Amarriedwomanhasnoproperty.'

'Not a solitary single individual dem, my soul,' and Mr Mantalini, raisinghimselfuponhiselbow.

'Iamquiteawareofthat,'retortedMadameMantalini,tossingherhead;'andIhavenone.Thebusiness,thestock,thishouse,andeverythinginit,allbelongtoMissKnag.'

'That's quite true,MadameMantalini,' saidMissKnag,withwhom her lateemployerhadsecretlycometoanamicableunderstandingonthispoint.'Verytrue, indeed,MadameMantalinihemvery true.AndIneverwasmoreglad inallmylife,thatIhadstrengthofmindtoresistmatrimonialoffers,nomatterhowadvantageous,thanIamwhenIthinkofmypresentpositionascomparedwithyourmostunfortunateandmostundeservedone,MadameMantalini.'

'Demmit!'criedMrMantalini, turninghishead towardshiswife. 'Will itnotslap and pinch the envious dowager, that dares to reflect upon its owndelicious?'

But thedayofMrMantalini's blandishmentshaddeparted. 'MissKnag, sir,'saidhiswife, 'ismyparticular friend;' andalthoughMrMantalini leered tillhis eyes seemed indangerofnever comingback to their rightplaces again,MadameMantalinishowednosignsofsoftening.

Todo the excellentMissKnag justice, she had beenmainly instrumental inbringingaboutthisalteredstateofthings,for,findingbydailyexperience,thattherewasnochanceofthebusinessthriving,orevencontinuingtoexist,whileMrMantalinihadanyhandintheexpenditure,andhavingnowaconsiderableinterestinitswelldoing,shehadsedulouslyappliedherselftotheinvestigationofsomelittlemattersconnectedwiththatgentleman'sprivatecharacter,whichshehadsowellelucidated,andartfullyimpartedtoMadameMantalini,astoopen her eyes more effectually than the closest and most philosophicalreasoningcouldhavedone inaseriesofyears.Towhichend, theaccidentaldiscovery byMissKnag of some tender correspondence, inwhichMadameMantalini was described as 'old' and 'ordinary,' had most providentiallycontributed.

However, notwithstanding her firmness, Madame Mantalini wept verypiteously;andassheleantuponMissKnag,andsignedtowardsthedoor,thatyoungladyandalltheotheryoungladieswithsympathisingfaces,proceededtobearherout.

'Nickleby,'saidMrMantalini in tears, 'youhavebeenmadeawitness to thisdemnition cruelty, on the part of the demdest enslaver and captivator thatneverwas,ohdem!Iforgivethatwoman.'

'Forgive!'repeatedMadameMantalini,angrily.

'Idoforgiveher,Nickleby,'saidMrMantalini.'Youwillblameme,theworldwill blameme, thewomenwill blameme; everybodywill laugh, and scoff,andsmile,andgrinmostdemnebly.Theywill say, "Shehadablessing.Shedid not know it. He was too weak; he was too good; he was a dem'd finefellow,buthelovedtoostrong;hecouldnotbearhertobecross,andcallhimwickednames.Itwasadem'dcase,thereneverwasademder."ButIforgiveher.'

WiththisaffectingspeechMrMantalinifelldownagainveryflat,andlaytoallappearancewithoutsenseormotion,untilallthefemaleshadlefttheroom,whenhecamecautiously intoasittingposture,andconfrontedRalphwithaveryblankface,andthelittlebottlestill inonehandandtheteaspoonintheother.

'You may put away those fooleries now, and live by your wits again,' saidRalph,coollyputtingonhishat.

'Demmit,Nickleby,you'renotserious?'

'Iseldomjoke,'saidRalph.'Goodnight.'

'No,butNickleby'saidMantalini.

'I am wrong, perhaps,' rejoined Ralph. 'I hope so. You should know best.Goodnight.'

Affectingnot tohear his entreaties that hewould stay and advisewithhim,Ralph left thecrestfallenMrMantalini tohismeditations,and left thehousequietly.

'Oho!'hesaid,'setsthewindthatwaysosoon?Halfknaveandhalffool,anddetectedinbothcharacters?Ithinkyourdayisover,sir.'

Ashesaidthis,hemadesomememoranduminhispocketbookinwhichMrMantalini'snamefiguredconspicuously,andfindingbyhiswatchthatitwasbetweennineandteno'clock,madeallspeedhome.

'Aretheyhere?'wasthefirstquestionheaskedofNewman.

Newmannodded.'Beenherehalfanhour.'

'Twoofthem?Oneafatsleekman?'

'Ay,'saidNewman.'Inyourroomnow.'

'Good,'rejoinedRalph.'Getmeacoach.'

'Acoach!What,yougoingtoeh?'stammeredNewman.

Ralph angrily repeated his orders, and Noggs, who might well have beenexcusedforwonderingatsuchanunusualandextraordinarycircumstance(forhe had never seenRalph in a coach in his life) departed on his errand, andpresentlyreturnedwiththeconveyance.

IntoitwentMrSqueers,andRalph,andthethirdman,whomNewmanNoggshad never seen. Newman stood upon the doorstep to see them off, nottroubling himself towonderwhere or uponwhat business theywere going,untilhechancedbymereaccidenttohearRalphnametheaddresswhitherthecoachmanwastodrive.

Quickaslightningandinastateofthemostextremewonder,Newmandartedinto his little office for his hat, and limped after the coach as if with theintentionofgettingupbehind;butinthisdesignhewasbalked,forithadtoomuchthestartofhimandwassoonhopelesslyahead,leavinghimgapingin

theemptystreet.

'Idon'tknowthough,'saidNoggs,stoppingforbreath,'anygoodthatIcouldhavedonebygoingtoo.HewouldhaveseenmeifIhad.DriveTHERE!Whatcan come of this? If I had only known it yesterday I could have tolddrivethere!There'smischiefinit.Theremustbe.'

His reflectionswere interrupted by a greyhairedman of a very remarkable,though far from prepossessing appearance, who, coming stealthily towardshim,solicitedrelief.

Newman,stillcogitatingdeeply,turnedaway;butthemanfollowedhim,andpressedhimwith sucha taleofmisery thatNewman (whomighthavebeenconsideredahopelesspersontobegfrom,andwhohadlittleenoughtogive)looked into his hat for some halfpence which he usually kept screwed up,whenhehadany,inacornerofhispockethandkerchief.

While he was busily untwisting the knot with his teeth, the man saidsomethingwhichattractedhisattention;whateverthatsomethingwas,itledtosomethingelse,andintheendheandNewmanwalkedawaysidebysidethestrangemantalkingearnestly,andNewmanlistening.

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