New edition of Globe!

Monday April 23rd, 2012 Issue 12

JUSTIN BIEBER vs. ONE DIRECTION.The divide of a tween nation

Globe TeamcontentsEditorStephanie Rogers

DesignShannon BolandFiona Robertson

ContributorsLara WilkinsonPeng Tiong

RegularsErin BourneRebecca DuttonRiley MetcalfeJonathan Regan-BeasleyMarina SaundersTim Burn-Francis

THE GLOBE is published weekly by Stephanie Rogers on behalf of the International House Student Club.The material here is edited but uncensored and therefore the views expressed here do not reflect those of the editor.

Please share your ideas, your opinions, your ads and your skills with us by emailing us at [email protected]

THE GLOBE acknowledges the Wurundjeri people as the traditional owners of this land. We pay our respects to their elders past and present.

© 2012 The Globe. All rights reserved.

International House241 Royal ParadeParkville, VIC 3052AUSTRALIAihouse.unimelb.edu.au

2 THE GLOBE: April 23 2012

page 4feature:Justin Bieber vs. One Di-rection..Who will come out on top?

page 8College Town Life - The four No No’s

page 11Opinion Piece -

Riley Metcalfe

regulars

page 5 Restaurant Review! page 7 Marriage and More

page 10 Drink of the week + Sudoku International House Student Club The University of Melbourne

241 Royal Parade, Parkville Victoria 3052, Australia IHSC Communication Officer, Sita Carolina

Office: +61 (0) 3 9347 6655 Facsimile: +61 (0) 3 9349 1761 Email: [email protected]

IHSC Distillations of the week starting Monday 23rd April 2012

Issue Description

GENERAL MEETING Sunday, 29th of April. 4 Positions to vote/go for.

Panda Cup: Table Climb

9.30pm, Tuesday, 24th of April

Mr. IH Friday, 27th April, 7pm

Mothers Day Classic Sign up BEFORE the 1st of May. See details on Nexus

Ekiden Saturday, 28th April

Cafe QC 2pm, 28th April

Cafe Preview: 3rd May

Girls Soccer QF Tue, 24th April 7-7.55pm at Princess Park

Cultural Committee Meetings

Mondays at 6pm in the JCR

Student Club Committee Meetings

AC: 9.30pm Monday @CDR GC: 9.30pm Wednesday @CDR

More on Sports... Listen out to Gemma Kenna & Phil Tan on facebook!

For a more detailed report of the IHSC matters, please read the GC or AC minutes. GC and AC minutes can be found on Nexus.

the top two

editor's edict

THE GLOBE: April 23 2012 3

MARINA S & Bec D

Steph rogers

Hi Everyone!I am particularly excited about this week’s edition of the Globe, because it is

absolutely packed with new articles (like Riley’s opinon piece), restaurant reviews, and a whole host of other things that you will have to flip over to find out about! This past week was pretty busy, what with scholars dinner

(did anyone else find the dessert amazingly delicious? They actually made

and endured the torrential rain to watch the girls play.

Finally, we’d just like to remind everyone that it is not the responsibility of our lovely cleaners to clean up after party mess. Please pick up your bottles and clean up any mess you’ve made before you go to bed and please remember to keep the noise to a minimum late at night.

Thanks everyone for another awesome week!P & VP

Hi guys!

It’s been another busy week for everybody, with mid-sems, sports and a busy social calendar! Our many meetings have resulted in the crossover cable machine has being fixed, the door between Greycourt and the TV room being unlocked and there should be a hammock and swing appearing around the IH grounds in the next couple of weeks.

We hope everyone had a fantastic Scholars Dinner, congrats to all our scholarship winners! Well done to the hockey boys who fought valiant-ly but sadly lost, and congratulations to the soccer girls who beat UC in overtime! A special thanks goes out to Riyan and Afif who got up early

cups out of chocolate...!!!?) definitely didn’t see that one coming but hell yes thank you Cater Care!A massive congratulations to all the scholarship winners :) IH is awesome, nothing more to say. The wave

of One Direction fever has led to a particularly creative article this month...What do you guys think..can ANYONE be bigger than the little man himself, Mr Bieber?

We shall see. Rumour has it though One Direction has some competition coming from IH itself...ooOooo.......................

find us online, on your iPhone or on your iPad at:

.com/IHGlobe .com/IHGlobeor

feature: The Great Debate: The Biebs vs. One Direction


Who will survive the competition!?

One Direction, the UK’s latest boy band, reached Aus-tralia’s shores last week, stirring up a storm of contro-

versy over whether they could potentially be casting a shadow over the Canadian teenage heartthrob, Justin

Bieber (aka “Biebs”).

Biebs, the 5ft button-nosed brunette, brought the world to a standstill with his first hit “Baby” in 2008

and has been melting the hearts of tween girls ever since. But could the King of Tweens be facing the end of his reign? Cynics claimed he was a one hit wonder, but Bieber has proven himself a force to be reckoned

with, his catchy singles and boppy duets elevating him to the likes of Chris Brown (although half the size and white). Not just a cherub cheeked cutie, Bieber’s a triple threat..set to star alongside Mark Wahlberg in his upcoming movie. Wahlberg even stated ‘Justin Bieber has ‘it’. If by ‘it’ Wahlberg is referring to the wavy, lus-

cious side fringe that tweens over the world covet, then yes, Bieber most certainly has it. As for acting skills..that

remains to be seen.

His relationship with Disney star Selena Gomez (a full two years older than him, props to Mr Biebs), had reper-

cussions the world over. Average teenage girls turned into screaming lunatics, fighting, tweeting and stalking

the pint sized star. Bieber’s influence reached manic levels, with Time Magazine even naming him one of the top 100 most influential people, his power being traced

back to the dawn of his rule in 2008, causing analysts to question the possibility of the cult ‘Bieber side-swept

fringe’ being the catalyst for the GFC.

Bieber’s influence reached manic levels, with Time Magazine even naming him one of the top 100 most influential people, his power being traced back to the dawn of his rule in 2008, causing analysts to question the possibility of the cult ‘Bieber side-swept fringe’ be-

ing the catalyst for the GFC.

However the Bieber is facing some stiff competition, as One Direction are accruing a significant number of female fans within the UK market. Their rise to fame through the talent show ‘X-Factor’, saw them uniting

their assets - mainly their raw singing capabilities and notably ridiculously good looks, to captivate the hearts

of Great Britain. Their single ‘that’s what makes you Beautiful’ debuted on the English Charts last year and still remains a firm favourite worldwide. Currently One

Direction are carrying out their Promo tour, sending both males and females into a frenzy wherever they go. Scores of teenage girls lined up for over 14 hours

at Sydney Kingsford Smith Airport on the 10th of April in an attempt to spot these miniature cult like Gods, only to be sorely disappointed as it became known

they had slyly slipped out a side exit. The scene - dev-astated young tweens questioning the value of life was

remniscent of the total state of anarchy that occured during Bieber’s first visit. Sydney later set up a tempo-rary ‘One Direction’ store in its CBD, with merchandise

ranging from individual t shirts to dolls. One Direction’s immense popularity reflects upon their boyish appeal...

If anyone has heard Bieber’s new hit ‘Boyfriend’, it ap-pears as though his falsetto days are definitely over.

The longevity of the One Direction brand has yet to be seen, but from what can be ascertained, the Biebs is

certainly going to have to watch out. Loyal Bieber fans urge the little man to take an extremely aggressive and proactive approach against these English munchkins, in order to retain his coveted title. Only time will tell

whether the world has enough room for both of them...is just one Bieber enough to compete with five!?

Is this really the fate of Justin Bieber!?


Taco Bill’s on Collins - by Steph Rogers

REstaurant review:

HA HA - with Peng Tiong

Intellectual puns to laugh and cringe at… but seriously, in actual fact there are no corners in the

globe. It’s a sphere. Gawsh. Well, more an ellip-soid.. but you get the idea.

Q: Why do mathematicians stay indoors all the time?

A: They already have a tan from sine and cosine.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip?A: To get to the same side

Overcome with the urge for some quality guacamole, combined with the lure of a giant Margarita fishbowl, a few individuals and myself made the trek to Taco Bill

(yes Bill, not Bell) on Collins Street.

At only 7pm, the place was packed. Mexican music greeted us as we were seated at a table between a

massive hen’s night party (who were already well into their third and fourth rounds of Margaritas), and a fam-

ily attempting to have a quiet dinner.

The service - prompt. The Quesadillas - adequate, but sadly lacking anything apart from cheese, tortilla and beef. The Taquitos (tiny tacos, very cute) were crunchy and accampanied by guacamole (which you pay an extra $4.50 for). The giant fishbowl margaritas how-

ever? Absolutely amazing. Four giant slushie machines sit on the counter, an impressive sight, and the sheer

size of the giant drinking goblets make you feel almost dwarflike. At $30 a pop for a guestimate of 7 standard drinks they don’t come cheap, but they are absolutely

delicious AND you get a FREE SOMBRERO!!!! That’s right people! For that alone I plan to go back as soon as I can. With a free meal on your birthday, you can’t go

wrong.

$2 lunch and dinner tacos on Thursdays, half price Mar-garitas during happy hour Thursdays (5-7pm), Taco Bill

is a truly great man.

I would thoroughly recommend this place. Although the food is kinda sucky , the atmosphere is great and the table water comes in used tequila bottles (which really freaks you out when you watch a 10 year old

child downing glasses of the stuff). Come with a big group of friends for an awesome night. The challenge? Wearing the sombrero ALL the way home. A challenge

Kyle O’Neil was only too ready to accept.

Verdict?Go get your Mexican on!!


fresher of the week

Fresher of the week #1: Kyle ‘Kasanova’ O’Neil

Fresher of the week #2: (Grand Master) Seng Fu Wen

This feisty young thing from Victoria makes it his job to represent IH in the best possible way...By that I mean consuming an inordinately large amount of alcohol (he shares a common love of the goodness that is Fruity-Lexia with one of our past freshers of the week, Madi ‘Goon is God’ Nicholson), then making it his duty (and carrying it off with aplomb may I add) to pass out on the strip of grass directly outside IH.

Not only is this fifth floor Sheps-ian a smartie (bio-med!?), he is also the dashing recipient of a scholar-ship (woo)! He enjoys sombreros, rocking mustard coloured jeans, and even on the coldest of all days, wearing shorts with his boots. Always the first one on the dance floor, a little known fact about this Casa-nova is his extraordinary contemporary dance talent.

Just don’t expect him to remember things like shop shifts...chances are he will forget ;)They say two’s company, three’s a crowd...but I have a feeling Kyle might disagree with that particular state-ment :P His perfectly wavy hair and sweet disposition lures in the ladies...but this hottie’s a heartbreaker ;)

Congrats to this week’s winner, Cherisha ‘Cherish her’ Koshy...remember to vote online for YOUR favourite fresher!

You might think from his name that this Fresher is a mystical master trained in the secret art of kicking your ass. And you would be right. Seng Fu’s power is said to concentrate on his left eyebrow, which flicks up and brings to mind a flame; no word yet on his ability to form fire balls, although there are whispers of ru-mours of echoes of secrets that he can control minds.

Going from more concrete information, he comes to us from KL via Perth, and is thus a young’un. He’ll hit the big 18 in August, and from there we predict world dom-ination. Seng Fu studies Fine Arts at RMIT, which covers everything from visual design to life drawing. Ask if you can be his nude model sometime, it might be a fun “get to know you” exercise. Ask if he’ll show you his sketch books for extra awesome; Seng is one talented dude.

Make him laugh to hear his classic “fufufufufufufufu” chuckle, voted the world’s most satisfying sound. On a typical Saturday night you’ll find him staying in with a good book or drawing, apparently unlocking the se-crets of the universe. When asked about his life goals however, his remark isn’t about enlightenment or ulti-mate happiness, but more along the lines of “To find the damn eagle that stole my taco right out of my hand when I was walking down a street in Japan”. Now you know him, there’s only one question left; why hasn’t someone written a comic about this guy’s epic exploits?. .

cafe update columns


with your Cafe CoordinatorsShannon Boland & Kate Garrett

Marriage and Morewith Jonathan Regan-Beasley

The issue of marriage equality (otherwise known as gay marriage) has been in the news a lot lately. Opinion polls find the public widely in support, the Australian Labor Party finally decided to adopt marriage equality as part of their policy, and local representative Adam Bandt has tabled a bill in the House of Representa-tives. As a result, this week I present to you a special (and one-time-only renamed!) edition of my column in an analysis of the various arguments against marriage equality.Argument 1: Gay marriage is wrong because the Bible

says so! Rebuttal: After many hours of searching, I can-not yet find the part of the New Testament where Jesus suggests that entering a contract in which your assets become equally shared with someone of the same gender is “wrong”. I can, however, find plenty of refer-ences to something about “loving thy neighbour”. Irre-spective of this, a religious argument has absolutely no weight in Australia, as we are constitutionally non-reli-gious (see section 116 of the Australian Constitution).Argument 2: Marriage has always been between a

man and a woman. It should stay that way. Rebuttal: Many years ago, we lived in caves and utilized fire to keep ourselves warm. We also grunted and pointed rather than making coherent conversation. Years later, we traded Africans on the open market as tangible as-sets. Thankfully, times have changed. To make an argu-ment based on historical precedent is somewhat farci-cal if it is not backed up by tangible evidence.Argument 3: If we allow gay marriage, the gays are

going to be kissing and having sex everywhere, and that’s gross! I need to protect my children! Rebuttal: This “hide the children from sexual activities” is, once again, an absolute farce. As it stands, there is no pro-posal in the pipelines to allow homosexual men or women to undertake sexual activities in public. At the present moment, there are no restrictions on non-sex-ual displays of affection based on gender, but rather by situational factors. Regardless, this is not an argument about marriage equality, but about public decency, which is another matter entirely.

I suppose my point in all this is to not get lost in the rhetoric of it all. Marriage is a legally binding contract on the division of assets, and the debate is purely about whether we should be restricting the right to enter such a contract. If you do have a decent argu-ment against marriage equality, please let me know. I’m yet to hear a single one.

9 - 12 May 20125.30pm (Wed & Sat) / 7.30pm (Thu & Fri)

Union House TheatreGet your tickets at:

http://www.trybooking.com/BFGO

As college kids we are on top of all the latest trends, fads, and songs. However, I think we can all agree that certain trends have gottttttt to go. The following is a list of things that are over done, out played, and just plain ridiculous...

MacBook PicturesLadies we do not want to see these anymore. Nobody is interested in an album titled “Bored” full of 245 pictures of you

in a sepia filter. You’re not bored, you’re narcissistic. When normal people are bored they take shots, not pictures. Oh, and don’t get me started on couples that do this. If you take time out of your day to cozy up in front of your computer, then your relationship is probably about as entertaining as Sociology 101. HipstersHoly Urban Outfitters, you guys really nail it in the fashion department. If you’re so destined to be unique why are there

so many of you? We see you in your panda hats and metallic pleather leggings gallivanting through campus like the chic fashion icons that you are. I’m sorry to break it to you though, but buying clothes from a store that is as popular as Target does not make you an up-and-coming fashionista.

YOLODrake, I’m not sure if you knew what you were doing when you invented this acronym, but seriously. Kids everywhere

now storm through campus doing asinine things and yell out “YOLO!!!” Its almost like a spotlight on what is wrong with our generation. People like you only live once? Thank god. Now get it over with so we can move on with our own lives.

College Town Life: The Four No No’s

columns


These articles are taken from an American college blog site. The opinions contained within them are reflective of a few individuals, and are meant as

nothing more than humourous excerpts to laugh at while you eat your non hot breakfast Monday morning.

Call Me MaybeOkay, this song was cool for about a day, but now the world just needs

to let it die. Carly Rae Jepsen, you have single handedly ruined what people consider good music. Its impossible to go anywhere without hearing this song, and the worst part about it is you HAVE to sing along. How can you not? Nothing grinds my gears more than hearing a girl give out her number followed by a “call me maybe?” Not cute. Not clever. You’re quoting lyrics to a song designed for Hannah Montana idolizing 5 year olds. Give me a song with some raunchy and catchy verse and you’ll be instantly redeemed. Until then, Carly Rae Jepsen, just shut the hell up.


columns

First – an apology. A 50% essay and general forget-fulness puts me in the position of having to sum-marise almost a month’s worth of news into a sin-gle, 400-word column. So, without further ado:Peter Slipper, the Speaker of the House who contro-versially defected from the Liberal Party last year is caught in the middle of a political row. He has been accused by a former staffer of sexual harassment and abusing the Cabcharge scheme. Court documents claim that former Prime Minister John Howard was aware of an accusation that Peter Slipper was in a sexual relationship with another male staffer. This cre-ates yet another headache for Julia Gillard and more political ammunition for Tony Abbot. This is hardly good news – the polls look worse and worse for Gil-lard (without looking better for Abbot,) a gay sex scandal is the last thing on Gillard’s wishlist right now.Two Aboriginal teenagers were shot by police in Red-fern, Sydney this morning, something which threatens to stir up more racial tension in the suburb. Police fired at the teenagers in a stolen car, as they lost control and mounted the curb, almost killing several pedestrians. Aboriginal leaders have called for calm, and at pres-ent, the police seem to be handling the situation well.The US presidential race continues, with American voters looking to choose the most competent least incompetent of the two candidates, the Republican Mitt Romney and the incumbent Barack Obama. The campaign is turning dirty fast, with Democrats at-tacking Romney over his wealth (something which is becoming an issue in post-Occupy Wall Street days.) At the moment, polls show a very tight race.The High Court has made a significant (if underre-ported) ruling regarding internet piracy in Australia. The ISP iiNet had been taken to court by a coalition of American film companies (with a few token Austra-lian ones,) accused of ‘authorising’ piracy by allowing the use of programs such as Bittorrent. A victory for the film companies in the case would set a danger-ous precedent for all Commonwealth countries. For-tunately, the High Court rejected their appeal, stating that ISPs have no technical capability to stop piracy.Anders Breivik, the shooter responsible for the mass-shooting terrorist attack in Norway last year is currently facing a Norwegian court. He stirred up controversy by delivering a far-right salute to the court as soon as he was released from handcuffs, although he stopped doing this by day 4 (out of respect for the victims of his attack.)

funny stuffSerious S#*% You Missed this Weekwith Riley Metcalfe


Drink of the week

Sudoku

THE GLOBE: March 5 2012 11THE GLOBE: April 23 2012 10

Get yo Skittle on!

SKITTLES VODKAWhat you need: 1 Large bag of Skittles, 1 bottle of plain vodka

1. Pour out some of the vodka (about 1/4)

2. Add the Skittles

3. Put the cap back on and shake it

4. It takes hours to dissolve all the Skittles. To speed up the process some us-ers said you can put it in the dishwasher during the wash cycle. However, best results happen doing it naturally.

5. Don’t be alarmed once the Skittles have dissolved you will see a gross layer that formed. Just scrape it off, and you will be left with some gorgeous col-ored Vodka.

6. To help remove the layer pour the vodka through a coffee filter using a strainer.

Make sure it is very cold, pour skittle martinis, shots, or drinks!

Opinion piece: Riley Metcalfe

There is a large minority of people here – at IH, and in the wider community that don’t drink. We have vari-ous reasons for doing so – some of us religious, some of us personal, others just simply don’t like the taste. Each of these is as valid as each other, and all are as valid as not drinking. And yes, I’m one of those people who don’t drink. I’m not interested in encouraging a conflict between drinkers and non-drinkers – that would be stupid. By the way, this runs both ways – those who drink, respect the choice of your non-drinking peers.There’s nothing wrong with jokes – even somewhat offensive jokes, in the right context. The thing that we have to remember is that we’re in no position to judge how our words can affect other people, especially those that belong to a different group to us. Reading that ‘people who don’t drink have no friends’ may be humorous to those who drink, but, people who drink, you’re in no position to judge how such a statement can be read when you’re not the butt of the joke. I know that no matter what I write, I’ll be accused (or at least thought of,) as having a case of butthurt (to use a vulgar Internet expression.) But, consider your response if the Globe published something along these lines instead (yes, this is blatantly copied-and-pasted from a blog.)

Getting drunk is the number one social activity in this country [...] There is nothing social about stupidity, there is nothing impressive about behaving like a total moron. People do it out of either a puerile and vacuous idea of “fun”, or a pathetic craving for acceptance based not on value, but on doing what everyone else does (i.e. conformity).

Finally, such statements indirectly promote drinking as the only alternative to being boring and friendless is a subtle way of applying peer pressure. No college magazine should be doing such a thing – the strength of the IH community is its diversity of interests, cultures and backgrounds. Pressuring people – even subtly and indirectly, into fitting a single mould of ‘college student’ is bad, and should not be encouraged.

ED: Thanks Riley! If anyone out there has something else to say in response to this article, or to do with another issue, then send your opinons to [email protected].

Spotted! Ih schooling dem Ormond fools...

That’s right, from what I heard the Ormond chant rings true...they may be triumphant at hockey but IH trumps them at the important stuff...like knowing how to p a r t y.


Last week, the Globe published a column which included the following statement (obviously intended as a joke.)Fact: In America, there are 14 college students that do not drink. And they have no friends.Remember that, although drinking may be seen as a normal activity for col-lege students (even Australian adults in general,) it is not a universal one.


The boys hockey team had an early start at 8am for their game against Ormond on Tuesday, as much as they would like to blame the wake-up call, the superiorly trained opposition didn’t help. Employing some new fan-gled “full court press” Ormond dominate the entire match, with the highlight for IH making it over the centre line on 3 occasions! Well done to Kelso, Jordie and Sean for getting the ball into our offensive half. Final scores were 9-0 in a closely fought tussle.

The second game was on Friday morning, and after a very quite night on Thursday with most players being in bed by 7:30 pm, if they didn’t attend Scholar’s Dinner, IH was ready to play… about 2 mins before the start of the game. It may have been the pouring rain, or the dismal performance last game, but most players were hesitant to enter the coliseum. However the IH boys kept pace with St. Mary’s and should have taken the led but unfortunately Sean Carr missed an absolute sitter from directly in front with the goalie no where to be seen. This let Mary’s into the game eventually scoring a goal and winning the game 1-0. Not that we blame people for a loss at IH, but hypothetically Sean single handedly lost it.

Sports Reportwith Tim Burn-Francis

don't forget to buy your ball tickets!!!

New edition of Globe!

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