NETWORKING IN THE 21ST CENTURY… · 3 For Declan, MC2, Conor, Libby, Ollie, Benjamin, Jacob, CJ,...
Transcript of NETWORKING IN THE 21ST CENTURY… · 3 For Declan, MC2, Conor, Libby, Ollie, Benjamin, Jacob, CJ,...
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NETWORKING IN THE 21ST CENTURY…FOR SALES PROFESSIONALS:
WHY YOUR NETWORK SUCKS AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT
By
David J.P. Fisher
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A RockStar Publishing Book
Copyright ©2016 David J.P. Fisher
All Rights Reserved
All rights reserved. Published in the United States by RockStar Publishing, Evanston, Illinois.
No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form
without written permission from the publisher. Please do not participate in or encourage piracy
of copyrighted material in violation of the author’s rights.
Cover Design by: Debbie O’Byrne & JetLaunch
Library of Congress Control Number:
ISBN Paperback: 978-1-944730-03-1
ISBN E-Book: 978-1-944730-04-8
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For Declan, MC2, Conor, Libby, Ollie,
Benjamin, Jacob, CJ, and Jackson.
Eventually you’ll need this book, but for now
the only sales skills you need are a smile and a hug.
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Contents Introduction ................................................................................................................................................... 6
Get More Information Online ....................................................................................................................... 9
Section 1 – Why Networking Matters......................................................................................................... 10
How 21st Century Networking Changed the Sales World ....................................................................... 11
What the Heck is Networking? ............................................................................................................... 17
Why Have We Sucked at Networking? ................................................................................................... 21
Section 2 – Cultivate a Strategic Approach ................................................................................................ 27
Invest in Yourself First ............................................................................................................................. 28
Develop Your Social Savvy ...................................................................................................................... 33
Embrace Technology the Right Way ....................................................................................................... 38
Act as a Profersonal™ Professional ......................................................................................................... 43
Section 3 –Action Steps for “Un-Sucking” Your Network ........................................................................ 48
Meet Our Fearless Hero .......................................................................................................................... 49
Tactic 1 – Creating a Plan ........................................................................................................................ 52
Jaime’s Plan for Success ...................................................................................................................... 56
Tactic 2 – Planting a Flag ......................................................................................................................... 58
Jaime the Expert in Digital Transformation for Business Success ....................................................... 61
Tactic 3 – Crafting an Intriguing Elevator Speech ................................................................................... 63
Jaime’s Introduction............................................................................................................................ 66
Tactic 4 – Balancing Relationships with Selling ....................................................................................... 67
Jaime Finds a New Balance ................................................................................................................. 71
Tactic 5 – Asking for Introductions and Opportunities ........................................................................... 73
Jaime Leverages His Network ............................................................................................................. 76
Tactic 6 - Talking Less, Connecting More…with Questions ..................................................................... 78
Jaime Becomes a Serial “Dater” .......................................................................................................... 81
Tactic 6.5 – Karma: Connections & Contributions .................................................................................. 83
Tactic 7 – Courting Champions and Centers of Influence ....................................................................... 85
Jaime Develops Brand Ambassadors .................................................................................................. 88
Tactic 8 – Integrating Your Offline and Online Networking .................................................................... 90
Jaime Connects His Online and Offline Brands ................................................................................... 93
Tactic 9 - Embracing Social Selling Activities for Networking ................................................................. 94
Jaime Rescues Social from Being a Waste of Time ............................................................................. 97
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Tactic 10 –Building Manageable Processes ............................................................................................ 99
Jaime’s Follow-Up Process ................................................................................................................ 102
Tactic 11 - Connect These Tactics to Your Larger Goals ....................................................................... 103
Concluding Thoughts ................................................................................................................................ 105
Additional Resources ................................................................................................................................ 106
About the Author ...................................................................................................................................... 107
Acknowledgments ..................................................................................................................................... 108
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Introduction
"Networking -- everybody has to do it, nobody has a good definition of what it is, and
most people dread it.” – from Daniel Pink’s blurb on Networking in the 21st Century.
I wrote this book because I want networking to be a key ingredient in your professional
success. If you are like most sales professionals, networking already holds an important place in
your daily business life. Unless you are simply a transactional order-taker, relationships are a
key part of business success. But I would hazard a guess that you aren’t getting all the results
that you want from your activity. Maybe you aren’t finding the right people to connect with, or
maybe your dance card is full but you are failing to realize any meaningful results from your
connections. What’s become clear is that networking in the 21st century is much more than
passing out business cards and then waiting for the orders to come rolling in.
Now more than ever, a focused and effective networking plan is critical for success as a
sales professional. Advancements in technology, new sources of customer knowledge, and
evolving economic forces have drastically altered the sales process over the course of just a few
years. You can’t treat your networking efforts as an afterthought that you’ll get to “if you have
time”. By engaging with your network consistently, you will be able to overcome challenges
and leverage new opportunities more easily. It’s one of the secret weapons that top salespeople
rely on. Luckily, you don’t have to be a networking maven or a “power networker” to be
successful. But you need to build the right connections, the right way, and for the right reasons.
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In Networking in the 21st Century: Why Your Network Sucks and What to Do About It
(Nit21C), I examine why networking gets such a bum rap. I start by looking at why
professionals struggle to get ongoing value from their networking. I explore the broad contours
of what does and doesn’t work in professional relationships, and I dive into the structural
problems that have caused countless individuals to fail. Not wanting to simply focus on the
negatives, I also offer long-term strategies to make networking an integral part of your career.
Then I translate those strategies into specific tactics that you can implement.
While writing, I ran into a challenge because “networking” is such a broad concept. Each
individual possesses varying strengths and weaknesses, and we each bring a wide assortment of
experiences, attributes, and skills to the party. And of course, we have different objectives that
we are pursuing. Whether it’s the differences between two attorneys with opposite personalities,
or the different career goals of a recent college graduate and a Fortune 500 CEO, everyone’s
networking path is unique. This diversity meant that the book had to keep the strategies and
tactics relatively high-level. I had to find a balance between providing information that would
be relevant to everyone and tactics that were specific enough to be usable in the field. Because
every networker has their own individual needs, I couldn’t dive into the minute details that
would apply to every individual situation.
I developed a “one-size-fits-all” approach to the strategies and tactics that I explored.
While Nit21C covers the bases well, I wasn’t able to drill down into the specific scenarios that
different professionals encounter in the course of their daily lives. This is unfortunate because
one of the most productive parts of any keynote or workshop I deliver on networking is the Q&A
section. That’s when participants get to ask for help with their personal situations, and they get
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feedback they can use immediately. It’s where the “rubber meets the road”. We connect
conceptual strategies to the very real circumstances that people are facing on a regular basis.
You are reading one of my solutions to this quandary: a series of companion books that
each focus on a specific group of professionals. I want to translate the strategies and tactics from
Nit21C into relevant and specific actions that are applicable to your situation. I wish that I could
write one for each person, but I don’t have that much time! This book doesn’t require you to
have read Nit21C, as it can stand on its own. However, there are ideas that we can’t explore here
in detail because of space limitations, so I encourage you to go and get the first book if you
haven’t yet (admittedly, I’m biased).
You will still want to personalize the ideas from this edition to make them align with
your personality, approach, and professional aspirations. I will do the heavy lifting for you; all
you have to do is tweak what you find here to fit with who you are and what you want to
accomplish. It’s not going to do all of the work for you, but it’s going to put you on your way to
becoming a networking rockstar.
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Get More Information Online
Networking in the 21st century is constantly evolving and changing. There are always
new questions to answer and new ideas to explore. To stay up-to-date, visit:
Networking for Sales Professionals
You can ask any questions you have about networking, get my latest tools and tips, and
join a community of other sales pros who see networking as a key ingredient in their personal
and professional success!
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Section 1 – Why Networking Matters
If we surveyed people for the top five words in business with negative connotations, we’d
probably get a smattering of the new buzzwords like synergy and iterate. But I’d bet that we’d
also see the classics: sales and networking. These perennial contenders are full of bad vibes for
most people. Ironically, at the same time that people gripe they also pay lip service to the
importance of both sales and networking in the current economy. So what gives?
There are some powerful misconceptions about both sales and networking that skew
professionals’ opinions, and it’s important that we clear these up. There are much more to these
activities than meets the eye and we want to develop a clear idea of what works and what
doesn’t. It’s critical to understand the hidden pitfalls that have caused so many salespeople to
struggle and fail when building their networks. If we know what challenges await us, we can
plan ways around them and we’re much more likely to succeed and reap the rewards.
Is networking really worth your time and attention? It absolutely is, and there are
important strategies and tactics that can take your networking from a random exercise in hope to
a valuable part of your business success. Before we dive into those, we have to look at why
you’ve struggled up to this point.
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How 21st Century Networking Changed the Sales World
Do salespeople really have the bandwidth for networking? Doesn’t it take their eyes off
the real prize: sales? In the end, is networking really that important for salespeople? I hear these
questions a lot, and for many sales professionals these days the knee-jerk responses are no, yes,
and... maybe. They might see the value of networking when they are looking for a new position,
or when they attend a national trade show, but on a day-to-day basis they have other things to
worry about. In fact, most salespeople fall into one of two camps. Many think that they are
already master networkers because they “talk to a lot of people”. When pressed, these
individuals are surprised to realize that they don’t get much business from their networking
partners. As a sales manager would say, they confuse their activity with actual accomplishment.
The other group doesn’t even want to be bothered about networking because they have a “quota
to fill”. They tend to be incredibly focused on their short-term goals and don’t have time for any
interaction which doesn’t directly get them closer to a sale.
I’m not surprised by these points of view, but they show a lack of understanding of how
the world is evolving and how the sales process is changing with it. For a long time, the sales
game was a numbers game. There were simple rules to the game and it was easily quantifiable.
It was assumed that if you put x amount of effort in, you’d get y results back. The percentages
might change, but the equations worked if you followed the normal path. Most salespeople in
the second half of the 20th
century followed a process that was relatively simple:
1. Find a prospect.
2. Provide some sort of sales presentation.
3. Close the deal.
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4. Repeat.
I’m sure that sounds familiar. There are many different variations and permutations of
the same process, and every sales organization, trainer, and management consultant has their
own spin on it. At their core though, they are all the same. The salesperson had to find someone
to sell to, create desire for what they were offering, and get a commitment to buy. It didn’t matter
if they were selling real estate or insurance to consumers, selling machine tools to factories, or
selling office supplies over the phone, they had to create as big a pipeline as possible and be as
efficient as possible when turning prospects into customers.
There is a huge advantage to this linear sales process: It depended mostly on a
salesperson’s effort. If a salesperson wanted to sell more, they just had to put in more effort. In
other words, the salesperson had control. And control makes us feel good, it makes us feel
secure. If you were in sales, the best way to improve your numbers was to spend time and
energy adding to your pipeline. When working within a linear sales model, networking is
important, but only in as much as it gives you access to new prospects. For a salesperson who
was continually hunting for potential customers, networking was synonymous with prospecting.
The image that most people have of networking, of the aggressive networker who comes right up
and hands out a business card and starts talking, is a byproduct of the approach that most
salespeople took.
This linear, quantifiable sales process was also highly transactional. It didn’t really matter
what other people thought of this obnoxious behavior, because salespeople weren’t looking to
build long-term relationships, they were looking for leads. Sure, many of the top salespeople
would realize that they could create more success by not being obnoxious and building
relationships over time. The rank-and-file, however, did not. We’ll see that there are powerful
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limiting factors on how many relationships a salesperson can manage at any given time. If a
business connection wasn’t going to lead to a sale, it made sense to let it go and find someone
else to talk to. That meant that even these top sales professionals who were “farming” for more
leads could only handle a small number of connections.
There are a lot of people who still focus on the old sales-funnel model. They are the sales
managers and trainers that insist that success comes solely from “pounding the phones” and
“making it happen”. It feels good to be able to hang our hat on very simple activities and feel that
our destinies are completely under our control. But is that approach still working? For example,
at my speaking gigs and in my workshops, I hear over and over how cold-calling has almost
completely lost its effectiveness. Sales reps share that nobody really picks up the phone cold
these days, and sending a cold email is like throwing a note off a cliff for all the good it does.
Yet you still find sales organizations that start their new representatives by handing them a
territory and a phone list (or a bunch of emails). They are just doing more of something that
doesn’t work.
A lot of things have changed since those old school tactics first developed. The most
important among these was a change in information asymmetry. “Information asymmetry” is a
fancy way of describing a situation where one side knows more than the other. When salespeople
had access to more information and knowledge, they held a lot more power and influence, and
their prospective clients knew that. Or rather, prospective clients knew that it was certainly
possible for a salesperson to call with a solution that they weren’t aware of. Because of that,
they were willing to give up some of their time and attention to that salesperson. In this world, it
made sense for a salesperson to cold call and reach out to as many people as possible because
there were opportunities waiting on the other end of the phone.
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The internet turned that world on its head. The balance shifted from the salespeople to the
customers. These days a quick Google search can provide a wealth of information for a prospect.
They can find product specification, pricing guidelines, product reviews, company information,
and even place an order online. They don’t need a salesperson to show up with a product
brochure and a pithy sales pitch. They can get all of that and more on their computer, or even on
their smartphone during their commute to the office.
And they could do it at their own time and pace, which was important because there was
a huge change in the amount of bandwidth that people had available to them. The likelihood of
someone taking a cold call goes way down (and continues to go down) when they have a full
inbox of emails and a to-do list that they never see the bottom of. These days, getting through all
of the other noise is a very real challenge if you are a salesperson trying to get a few minutes of a
prospect’s precious attention. It’s hard enough to get someone to listen to the voicemails we
leave, much less have a real-time conversation.
That doesn’t mean that people have stopped buying things. In fact, there’s just as much,
if not more, of a need for the services that salespeople provide. There is much more to buy and
more information about it, both in the business-to-consumer world and the business-to-business
world. It can be overwhelming to prospects, like walking down a grocery store aisle with fifty
brands of jams and jellies. Just because there is a lot of information available to customers
doesn’t mean that they know how to decipher all of it. The more complex the marketplace, and
the more options that are available, the more they need an expert who can lead them through the
process. They want to be able to access expertise and guidance when navigating the buying
process. They want that help, however, on their own terms and within their own framework.
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There was an old sales adage that people didn’t want to be sold, but they did want to buy. The
modern process doubles down on this concept.
Finding success in this new sales model requires new approaches. Salespeople aren’t
irrelevant, but their role has shifted. In a transactional model, the emphasis is on building many,
shallow connections as quickly as possible. After you decide that there’s no immediate sales
opportunity to be had, you drop the connection and move on to the next one. Since the process
is a linear “sales funnel”, the most successful salesreps pour as much as possible into the top.
Now, in a high-touch era of hyper-connectivity, just churning through sales prospects by
dumping all of them into your prospect funnel isn’t going to cut it. The most successful sales
professionals are becoming recognized as the problem-solving experts in their field. They are
the ones that help their customers translate modern information overload into a useable course of
action. Think of the role a doctor plays. Everyone could go on WebMD or look up their
symptoms in a book, but doctors are the ones that translate all of that information into something
that their patients (customers) can act on. The modern sales professionals’ goal is to develop
long-term relationships with their prospects to help them solve their problems. There might not
be an immediate need when they first start a relationship, but they cultivate that relationship over
time so they can help connect their solutions to the prospects’ problems. Then, when it’s time to
act, the salesperson is the first person they reach out to.
Modern networking fits into this 21st century sales world like a hand into a glove. Instead
of just building relationships with potential customers, what happens when you expand your
horizons? By incorporating potential referral partners, subject matter experts, and peers into
your relationship-building, you create a web of connections that provide you with the
opportunities and information that you need to be more successful. Instead of a “one-and-done”
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mentality, the goal is to nurture your relationships until they are ripe, and then harvest the fruits
that they bear. More prospects are a natural by-product of this web of relationships, but
opportunity can take a lot of forms. Instead of a purely linear process, the modern salesperson
sees their network as the path to finding new business leads, creating value for their clients, and
securing future partnerships. In this world, networking is an integral part of the sales process.
When I speak to audiences about networking, I ask if anyone has heard the saying, “It’s
not what you know, it’s who you know”. Invariably, the whole room nods their head. We all
intuitively understand that connections are a key component to making our way in the modern
business world. That saying used to be a negative comment that you would make when someone
got their job because of favoritism or nepotism. But these days, when we highlight the
importance of who we know for our professional success, it’s because we recognize an important
shift. Another way to say it: Who we know gives us the opportunities we need to act on what we
know.
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What the Heck is Networking?
You can see how the evolving sales process requires that we change our conception of
networking. For most professionals in and out of sales, the idea of “networking” evokes a very
specific image. Usually, it’s a networking mixer: a bunch of random people in the back room of
a local restaurant eating mediocre appetizers and eyeing each other up for business. Maybe you
like that idea because you mentally equate it with prospecting. Or maybe you have felt
uncomfortable with networking precisely because you associate it with having to hammer a
bunch of strangers in an attempt to find a lead. You’re not alone, there’s a good amount of
discomfort all around. In fact, the non-salespeople who hate networking usually blame it on a
salesperson who accosted them in an attempt to sell them something. If everyone involved in
this scenario dreads networking, we know that we need to find a new way to approach the
process.
And we can find a new approach. This outdated image of networking does us a huge
disservice. It prevents us from spending meaningful time and energy on building the
relationships that can connect us with ideas, partners, opportunities, and, most importantly,
clients. It’s time to leave behind the image of networking as nothing but an aggressive “business
card exchange”. A small shift in how you approach your connections can deepen and expand
your existing relationships, and make it more comfortable to add new ones.
We are going to approach networking as a relational process. For us, it’s not just about
acquiring a list of names or a random series of transactional encounters. It’s about a
relationship-based process that happens over time. Most people put little conscious thought into
building their relationships; our goal is to make your interactions much more intentional.
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Ideally, your network will consist of a broad landscape of connections that have information
flowing between the individuals within it. This leads us to the definition of networking that I
first put forth in Networking in the 21st Century:
Networking is building a web of relationships with others for mutual support in finding
business solutions.
Let’s dive into the components of this definition. The first is that your network is a web
– and to have a web you must have many interconnected strands. Size matters. You’ll see that
there isn’t a specific number to aim for, but a network obviously needs more than two people.
There are unprecedented opportunities to reach out to others in our world of global
communication and connectivity, and we want to leverage new tools and technologies to build
robust communities around us.
It’s important to develop reciprocity in your networking relationships. Good networkers
look to create a mutually beneficial exchange among the people they are connected with. The
entire process works better when both partners are helping each other. Even though networking
will be a key driver in your prospecting and sales, if you constantly look for ways to “get” from
your network without giving back, you’ll struggle. Just asking for business over and over again
isn’t going to cut it. The more you can connect your networking partners to the resources they
need, the more they will find ways to get you in touch with the help you need. It’s a positive
feedback cycle. When everyone in the network is looking for ways to support each other, the
benefits for everyone increase. It’s networking karma: what goes around comes around. The
more that you can add value to your networking connections, the more value they are going to
add to your career.
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When we consider the last part of the definition, we see the desired effects of networking.
“Business solutions” are why networking is worth diving into in the first place. While most
professionals only look at networking as a way to generate leads, we need to move past the
limiting idea of only looking for more business in the short-term. At its heart, networking is
about finding opportunity. Opportunity can be defined differently for different people; even for
the same person at different times. This doesn’t take away from using networking to generate
leads. Of course you are going to find new prospects through your network. The secret is to
expand your thinking beyond just finding a new person to call today. How about finding
partners that have influence over your prospects? What about connecting with colleagues or
even competitors? What would happen if you had great relationships with professionals in
complementary industries? Business information and knowledge can be the difference between
failure and success when you are trying to close a big deal. Your network can be a source of
ideas and wisdom that serve you well beyond a prospect you can call on tomorrow.
If there’s so much to be gained through a bigger network, why do sales professionals still
struggle to build connections and relationships? Even with the tremendous upside, most of them
aren’t taking the steps necessary to get any benefit from networking.
It’s easy to blame this on the short-term focus that many salespeople take to their
business activities. When you are looking at a quarterly sales quota, it’s easy to push networking
activities to the bottom of our to-do list. Networking is a long-play, and it takes time to see the
benefits. That makes it easy to ignore in the hyper-urgent environment that most salespeople
work in. But there’s a bigger obstacle that sales professionals face as well, one that has proven
hard to move past. When it comes right down to it, most professionals (not just salespeople)
have been set up to fail when it comes to networking. They don’t have the tools, they don’t have
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the training, and even worse, their internal wiring is completely wrong. The core of the problem
is simple: most people don’t know how to network in the first place.
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Why Have We Sucked at Networking?
If networking and sales are so intricately linked, and the skills that lead to success in both
so similar, why do so many sales professionals still struggle to build robust networks? What is
the missing link that continues to elude so many of us? Many of our challenges stem from the
way humans think and build relationships. Our internal makeup isn’t conducive to creating the
web of relationships that is necessary for networking success. Even if you think that you have a
knack for building connections with people, your networking has probably been pretty weak up
to this point.
That statement might have gotten you a bit defensive. Maybe you’re thinking that you
are a “people person”. You’re thinking that you already have the skills necessary for networking
stardom. That’s fine, but for just a moment, I need you to put aside your ego. This actually has
nothing to do with your individual abilities. I’ve worked with salespeople for decades. Heck,
I’ve been a salesperson for decades, and I know how we can be. We tend to have a lot of
confidence in ourselves. In fact, you might be thinking that other people’s networking might
suck but that you are the bee’s knees and have a killer network. And maybe you do. But when
we look at the science, we see that it doesn’t matter what kind of personality you have. The
problem isn’t in your social skills as such. The problem is that the social skills that humans are
good at were designed to solve completely different problems.
We struggle with networking because we’re not inherently wired for networking. Human
interaction developed in an environment that was much different than the one we find ourselves
in today. Our social skills come from an environment that required you to build strong
relationships with a few close people because you were hunting mastodons together – and you
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needed to be safe and successful. When we were hunter-gatherers traveling in small clans, it was
much more useful to build tight relationships with our family, tribe, or clan. Exposure to new
people and novel situations was a rare occurrence. It certainly didn’t happen on a constant and
consistent basis. You were surrounded by the same people your entire life, and that’s about it.
The challenges that we encountered in this world were much different than most of us face as we
walk into a cocktail reception at an industry conference. Our modern world, where we can go
into a local networking meeting with thirty people we’ve never met before or a conference with
hundreds of new faces, is a relatively new one.
There might be thousands of people in your contact list, but we just aren’t mentally
designed to build strong relationships with that many people. In fact, the average number of
close relationships a person can maintain is only 148. (See my discussion of Dunbar’s number in
Nit21C). You might think you know more than that, but do you really know them? You might
recognize most of the attendees at your local industry association meeting, but you might not
know much about them as individuals. My friends often call me the “mayor” of Evanston, the
town outside of Chicago where I live. It usually happens when I say hello to someone who just
walked into a restaurant or bar when we are out. I’ve met lots of people over the last decade
through my involvement in the Chamber of Commerce and local networking groups. But just
because I know a name and a face doesn’t mean that I have a close relationship with them. It
doesn’t mean that I’ve built up my relationship capitol with that person, at least not in a
meaningful way that I could leverage. I simply don’t have the brain space to handle the
information on that many people.
Having a gregarious personality isn’t necessarily going to help you have a bigger
network, because it’s the internal wiring of your brain that is holding you back. Even though the
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average sales person is confident with others and outgoing, the structure of how we manage
relationships in our brain has always been the limiting factor. It’s not because of a certain
personality type, lack of desire, or because we’re doing something wrong. We just don’t have
the capacity to manage the variables in a large number relationships.
For most of human history, that worked fine. In fact, for previous generations who had
limited access to places where they could meet new contacts, there was no need to handle more.
Even in the 20th
century, most professionals would spend their careers slowly accumulating
relationships because they could only interact with people in close geographic proximity. In the
old days you had to meet someone physically to connect with them. Then it took a lot of effort
to maintain a network because there weren’t that many communication tools available. Growing
your network was slow and steady. That also meant that the benefits of networking took a long
time to realize.
For sales professionals trying to find opportunities and build relationships, this mental
upper limit can be frustrating. It’s why the “power-networkers” in the 20th
century needed
elaborate programs to develop and maintain their networks. I knew salespeople who had piles of
files and notecards to remember who they talked to and when. They needed spreadsheets and
lists to keep track of everyone. This is why one of the earliest uses of the personal computer was
CRM software. There were sales trainers who espoused an exacting regimen of phone calls,
personal notes, and in-person visits to keep the relationships fresh. It was exhausting and most
people couldn’t keep up with it. I remember reading Keith Ferrazzi’s Never Eat Alone and
thinking to myself, “I’m not sure if I could keep up with his schedule!” Most professionals
couldn’t either and they failed or didn’t even bother trying. These networkers were fighting
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against their own internal inability to manage a lot of relationships at once. They were
struggling with that inherent upper limit.
This is another reason that most people have a severe distaste for networking. The whole
process sounds great on paper, but it was hard to translate it into actual results. There would be
situations where your network was valuable, when an introduction or idea from a colleague or
old school buddy would prove valuable, but it was sporadic and usually unplanned. It was hit-
or-miss. The energy required to get a regular pay-off seemed overwhelming. It was too
haphazard and inconsistent. If having a big network was helpful, but it is almost impossible to
maintain a large network, why bother?
There is a solution to this roadblock. There are two key understandings that we have to
internalize. In Nit21C we look at the power of weak connections as described by sociologist
Mark Granovetter. His definition of a weak connection is someone you see only occasionally –
less than once a week but more than once a year. In his research, he found that it’s not the
people you have super-close ties to that provide the power in your network. It’s more common
to get information, leads, and introductions when there is only a loose connection. These people
spend time in different spheres of information which means they have access to new and
different resources. That’s important because the opportunities from networking arise when you
are exposed to these new spheres of information.
We used to think that you had to create a strong bond with someone to get benefits from
the relationship. The true power comes from having earned the right to engage with them. Good
things happen when you have gained access to their spheres of information. That’s why you
don’t have to become BFFs with someone to create a valuable networking connection with them.
Just having the ability to keep in touch with someone, to cut through the “noise” that’s out there,
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can be enough. Think about many of the best leads and business opportunities that you’ve come
across. My guess is that they didn’t come from people that you knew well. Rather, they were
probably from people that you had only tangential relationships with. The value comes from
having periodic interactions and a base level of trust that allows you to pick up your conversation
easily.
This is where the second trend comes in: technology. We’ll explore the strategic ways
that technology changes the networking game in Section 2. But for now it’s enough to see how
technology can move us past the internal challenges that held back our networking in the past.
Granovetter’s work shows that our networking goal should be to maintain our weak connections
on a consistent basis. But we can’t do that alone. It’s the perfect job for social media, email,
texts, blogs, CRMs, smartphone apps, and the like. We aren’t going to be able to change how
our brains work, and what they can and can’t do. But we can outsource some of the mental work
that we weren’t able to manage. Now we have a means of communication which allows us to
interact with hundreds, if not thousands, of people in minutes a day. We can outsource our
memory to spreadsheets and CRMs. Instead of having to remember to call someone, we can
have a reminder pop up on our phone.
These tools open up new paths for the salesperson to be successful with networking, but
they don’t replace the traditional building blocks of relationships. In fact, understanding the
power of weak connections and technology should give you the basis for having better
relationships in the offline world, not replace them. We still want to engage with others in the
real world and the foundations of our interpersonal relationships are still important. That’s still
where business is going to come from. We need a way to put all of these pieces together. Now
we can see a path forward. The proper mindset and abilities will allow us to walk on that path.
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Our goal will be to combine these online tools and the offline skills so that our networking
relationships can become a main driver of our business.
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Section 2 – Cultivate a Strategic Approach
You network plays a key role in creating access to the resources and opportunities that
you need. Leveraging it correctly requires strategic planning as well as tactical execution. Like
a kid who wants to skip the instruction manual and start playing the video game right away (that
was totally me), it’s common for salespeople to just want to skip directly to executing on the
tactics. Talking strategy seems like a needless time-waster, but the right approach creates a
difference in how you implement these tactics. Ideally, your strategy will inform and influence
your tactics because you will know the “what” and “why” as you incorporate the “how”.
I want to cover four different strategic areas that will help you become more effective
with the tactics we cover in the Section 3. We’re going to look at:
1. The Power of Investing in Yourself
2. Developing Your Social Savvy
3. Embracing Technology
4. Acting as a Profersonal™ Professional
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Invest in Yourself First
Early in my sales career, my first sales manager pointed out that the most important
resource I had in a commission-based position was myself. The more I invested in my skills and
knowledge, the more I would realize a return on that investment. Learning new tools, reading
books, listening to audio programs, attending workshops and conferences, and sharpening my
skills were all ways to make myself more valuable. I noticed that all of the other top sales
professionals did the same. Since our abilities had a direct impact on our sales performance, and
our sales performance had a direct impact on our paychecks, it made sense to improve those
abilities.
Another piece of advice I got from that early sales manager was, “No matter what, no one
will ever care about your career more than you.” To this day, I love coaching salespeople
because they “get” the connection between their engagement in self-improvement and their
bottom line. I don’t have to convince them that time and effort used to cultivate their abilities is
well spent. This internal focus will also serve you well as you look to build your networking
skills. You are going to find very few formal opportunities to develop and hone them, so you are
going to have to do it on your own. Even if your employers have sales training and coaching,
they will rarely offer dedicated networking training. And it’s not like there was a Networking
101 class you could take in school. For all of the talk of the importance of networking in our
modern business world, there are very few chances for people to sit down and learn the
fundamentals. You can’t wait for someone else to come in and teach you these skills. You are
going to have to do it for yourself.
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As a salesperson, you have a limited supply of time and attention to put on your business.
It makes sense that improving your networking skills isn’t usually on the top of your to-do list,
and it’s hard to compete with the urgency of a customer email or the sales presentation you have
to prepare. It’s easy to let networking and your networking-skill development fall to the bottom
of your to-do list over and over. Stephen Covey of Seven Habits fame referred to non-urgent,
important activities as Quadrant 2 activities (if this is you first exposure to the idea, you really
should go look it up). These were the activities that were critical for success, but rarely made it
onto our radar without some serious discipline. It is for hard for them to compete with the
“fires” that we have to continually put out through the day. He pointed out that spending time
on self-improvement was like sharpening the saw. Just like a lumberjack could chop faster and
more effectively by taking care of his tools, so too could modern professionals get better by
sharpening their own saws. For the modern sales professional, those are their internal abilities
and skills.
In Nit21C, I address this when I look at the need to be an autodidact, someone who is
self-taught. The first step to developing your networking skills is acknowledging that it’s worth
putting into your schedule. Think of building your skill-sets the way a corporation would invest
in new equipment. It’s important to have the tools needed to get the job done, and that includes
the “soft skills” as much as the newest CRM or mobile app. Since no one will care about your
business more than you, no one will care more about your individual professional development
than you.
We’ll start looking at where to put that attention and energy in the next chapter. For now,
let’s look at how you can go about the process of investing in yourself and building your
networking skills. Luckily, building your capacity as a businessperson has a relatively low price
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tag. What it will cost is a little effort. You wouldn’t expect to get in better shape without going
to the gym or hitting the running trail, and you’ll need to put in the time to build your networking
muscles. Don’t expect to become a better networker overnight. It doesn’t have to be a huge time
commitment, just keep it consistent. Dedicate a specific amount of time each week to improving
your networking skills. Putting in 15 minutes a day, or even one hour a week, adds up.
There is no “right way” to learn. Instead, learn in the most effective way for you
personally. If you work best in a classroom-type setting, then find group learning opportunities.
It could be a half-day workshop or a longer conference on building social skills. There might
even be an ongoing course at a local college or university that you can take advantage of. If you
like to read (and based on the fact that you are reading this, you might), explore your local
library or Amazon for books on relationship-building. Take some of your internet surfing time
and read articles about communication, influence, and branding instead of watching kitten
videos. If you are a visual learner, YouTube, Lynda, Udemy, Coursera, and other sites are only a
few mouse clicks away and are chock-full of professional development courses. At any time you
can get access to premium information for only pennies.
You can also turn your existing activities into learning opportunities with some focus and
intention. Experiential learning is often one of the most powerful ways to develop new skills.
Let’s say you want to improve your rapport with your networking partners by asking better
questions. You are already interacting with a lot of people through your prospecting and sales
calls. Use those situations as a chance to practice how you are asking questions and then using
the answers to create new paths for your conversation to follow (see Asking the Next Question™
in Nit21C). If you think that you monopolize conversations too often, go to your next
conference and deliberately try to focus your attention on the people that you meet. The skills of
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a master networker aren’t complex, rather they are basic skills done very well. Find places to
practice those.
For some salespeople, traditional learning can only go so far. Many people go into sales
because they want to interact with others, not sit in front of a computer or spend time reading. If
you’re in this camp, a great way to learn is from your successful peers. Find a few of the
colleagues on your team who are better than you, and pick their brain. It’s common for sales
organizations to have some type of field training where less-experienced sales reps will tag along
and watch the veterans work. You can use this concept to get better at networking, too. Identify
the people in your organization who are great at building relationships with the people around
them and use them as role models. Whether or not you use the title “mentor”, you are looking
for people that you can observe and then ask questions. It’s just as valuable, maybe even more
valuable, than what you can learn sitting through a workshop.
You might think that your schedule won’t allow you to spend time on learning and
improving these skills. The average salesperson is bouncing from activity to activity with little
spare time, so when can you sit down and take time to invest in you? Look at ways to combine
your learning with your other responsibilities. Can you listen to audio courses in the car when
you are going to client meetings? Can you watch online training videos instead of the latest
syndicated sitcom while on the elliptical machine? Technology allows us to turn any
environment into a classroom. We consume a lot of information on a daily basis, look for ways
to improve the value of that information. For example, if you have 30 minutes of travel time
every day, that’s 2½ hours of podcasts you could listen to every week.
Pursue whatever approach works for you. Even though there aren’t degrees and
certificates in networking and relationship-building, you will notice over time that your ability to
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interact with your peers and teammates will improve. You might even put some of this
autodidactic focus on other parts of your career that you want to improve. It’s especially
beneficial in networking because you don’t have to wait to practice your improved skills,
networking is happening all the time. On a daily basis, you will not only build the relationships
themselves, you will be getting better at building those relationships. To paraphrase the popular
saying, you are both fishing and learning how to fish more effectively at the same time.
Now that you are excited to focus on building your skills, what should you actually work
to improve? For networking, there are fundamental skills that rest at the foundation of any good
professional relationship: basic social skills. Let’s start there.
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Develop Your Social Savvy
As a salesperson, you are a professional relationship builder. And if you are a pro, you
must be a master of all the necessary skills, right? Well…
You’re probably aware of the cliché of the obnoxious, pushy, overly-talkative, sleazy
salesperson. I’m sure that you aren’t one of those sales reps, but there’s a powerful truth we can
pull out of this stereotype. Talking a lot doesn’t equal success in sales. Many people go into
sales because they enjoy talking to others. In fact, I remember an aunt telling me I should be in
sales because I liked talking so much. While not inherently a bad thing, a problem crops up from
“good talkers” being pushed towards sales. While confidence when engaging with others is
important, you don’t close deals just because you are gregarious and talkative. Skills such as
listening, problem-solving, and value-building are just as, if not more, important. The
unfortunate side effect, though, is that even non-sleazy salespeople are often equated with the
fast-talking hustlers. The stereotype of the pushy salesperson hurts everyone who is selling.
This is compounded by the fact that the negative caricature doesn’t stem from poorly
educated salespeople. It’s not that pushy salespeople don’t know how to “sell”; it’s that they
don’t treat prospects and customers with consideration and respect. Basically, they fail to treat
the people they work with as people. These misconceptions arise, not because of a lack of
professional acumen, but a lack of basic personal communication skills. When dealing with
others, our technical skills and know-how matter a lot less than our ability to engage in a good
conversation. Interpersonal communication skills are of paramount importance, and we have to
accept that those skills rest on much more than just our ability to talk. Much of our success as
salespeople and as networkers comes after we build a solid relationship. Without that
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foundation, we’re just bouncing around from conversation to conversation, hoping something
good happens.
To grow as a networker, then, we need to be willing to put aside our egos for a moment.
I have yet to meet a salesperson who doesn’t think that they are already an expert in
interpersonal communication skills. You probably have a pretty high opinion of your own skills,
and that confidence is valuable. But I will put money on the fact that there are still some areas
you could improve. And that’s without me even meeting you. Why am I so confident? Because
we all have areas of opportunity.
Every time you build a relationship with someone, whether it’s a customer, a prospective
customer, or a networking partner, remember that the interpersonal component, the human
component, is the foundation that the rest of the relationship gets built on. In a very real way, it
is the relationship. That’s why continuing to refine and develop your communication skills is
key to building a strong business network. At its core, your network is nothing but a series of
interpersonal entanglements.
This isn’t an airy-fairy idea. This is the mechanics of engagement and interaction. The
old sales adage goes “people prefer to do business with those they know, like, and trust.” It’s a
great litmus test to use when building your network. Your first focus is to ensure that those you
meet can check these three boxes. They have to know who you are and what you do. They have
to like you as a person and enjoy spending time with you, even if it’s just a few moments at a
networking event. They have to be able to trust you. If they can’t, they aren’t going to pass
along your information and send referrals your way, or do business with you at all.
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I once managed a sales rep who was everything you would imagine a top performer to be.
He had hustle, perseverance, strong technical knowledge, and he knew how to close a sale. But
he was also abrasive and self-centered. He managed to irritate the entire service department and
struggled to build long-term relationships with key referral sources. Of course he had to hustle!
He was always chasing new leads because he’d burned chances to cultivate long term-
relationships. It took him taking a good look in the mirror before he was willing to make a few
changes in how he handled people. And lo and behold, once he stopped ticking people off, he
was able to create some great relationships with centers of influence that kept him busier than
ever. It wasn’t a lack of skill that had been holding him back, it was a lack of social awareness.
This foundation won’t be improved by learning a perfect sales script or developing the
exact right elevator pitch (although I will show you that in Section 3). It comes from developing
the social skills that you already have to an even higher degree. You networking will depend on
how easily others can interact with you. As we saw, you don’t have to become everyone’s best
friend to be successful, but you have to make it easy to engage with you. It’s worth looking at the
skills that allow this to happen,
Always remember: a business relationship starts as a relationship first.
In Networking in the 21st Century, I talk about the need to develop your social savvy.
Social savvy describes a whole range of skills that allow us to build relationships with the people
around us. Whether you call it social savvy, people skills, or soft skills, your networking
depends on your ability to relate to others. The sales rep that I mentioned earlier could have
spent hours trying to learn every closing technique in the book and it wouldn’t have made a
difference. He had to improve his ability to make people feel comfortable with him.
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Luckily, unless you are a hermit, you aren’t starting from scratch. We are social
creatures who live in a social world. You have a lifetime of experience in human interaction.
Our goal is to build upon the skills you already have and find ways to deliberately and
intentionally improve your ability to interact with others. How do you improve these basic
skills? In some ways, you could simply ask yourself: “How do you make friends?” There’s no
need to make this overly complex. In Networking in the 21st Century I cover a number of areas
that are important for interpersonal communication. It’s not an exhaustive list, but they include:
• Dress and Grooming (Presentation)
• Body Language
• Small Talk
• Sense of Humor
• Listening
All of these may sound simple and basic – and that’s the point. They are basic, meaning
they are the “base” that everything is built on. People ask me all of the time for the “secret” or
“trick” to being a successful networker. Not only do these shortcuts not exist, but it’s ironic
because most of the challenges that people face in their business relationships stem from a gap in
one of these much simpler areas. Over and over, I’ve run into salespeople who want more
clients and a better network, but they fail to realize that the path runs through their relationships.
They make no efforts to improve their interpersonal skills and their careers languish. It’s hard to
build a network if nobody enjoys being around you.
Give yourself a mental “check-up from the neck up”. Write down a quick list of your
strengths and weaknesses when you interact with people. Why do people enjoy being around
you, and what drives them nuts? We’re not looking for a comprehensive personality assessment.
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It could be as simple as jotting down that you are great at making people feel comfortable around
you…but you aren’t great at listening for details. Do you hog the conversation, or are you
missing out on chances to share? If you are struggling to identify the main areas of opportunity,
ask a trusted business associate or friend, “I’m trying to get better at networking, and I want to
improve my communication skills. What’s one area that you think I could improve to create
better conversations with others?” See what they say.
You don’t have to change who you are as a person to be successful. You should always
be yourself and be authentic. Build upon your current relationship skills. They are the bridge
that will create trust and rapport between you and your networking partners. For many
professionals, it’s a key step towards improving the benefits that they get from their networking
activities. There’s another saying that you might have heard, “People don’t care how much you
know until they know how much you care.” By improving your interpersonal communication
skills, you are setting yourself up for being successful in networking, sales, and so much more.
You are creating the foundation that will allow you to leverage some of the other tools available
to you. One of the most important of those: technology.
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Embrace Technology the Right Way
Technology is the secret weapon of a great networker. As we saw earlier, technology
provides a way for us to bypass the conflict between the value of many weak connections and the
inability of our brain to manage them. Now we have tools that enable us to maintain those weak
connections by outsourcing part of the process. We can connect with people beyond our
immediate geography and our networks can span the globe. Instead of having to physically visit
or call someone, we can shoot quick texts or emails to our connections that take moments and
keep the relationship on a low simmer. We can send a status update out on social media to
hundreds or thousands of people simultaneously and truly scale our reach. We can track all of
our relationships on our CRM software, which we can probably access anywhere because it’s
stored on the cloud. To check in on any of this activity, all we have to do is reach into our
pocket and pull out our personal computer that we carry with us…and occasionally make calls
from.
None of this should sound new to you. If you’re a salespro who is out hustling and
making business happen, this probably describes how you operate already. That’s not a bad
thing. Take away phones, computers, video-conferencing, global distribution, and all the rest,
and we’d be back to selling anvils door-to-door. Technology, and more importantly, its effective
use, is a critical ingredient in success for today’s sales professional. Whether you love
technology or you are completely annoyed with how it’s intruded into every moment of your life,
it’s here to say.
In the same way, technology is a necessary component for networking success in the 21st
century. It doesn’t replace your offline interactions, but we can harness technology to enhance
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your existing communication and expand the scope of your interactions. You don’t have to
change what you are already doing, but you want to add another layer. Instead of just narrowly
focusing on your prospects and clients, include your entire network in your on-going activities.
That might seem overwhelming and impossible when you think of your current level of
engagement. The only way that you are going to be able to manage these additional
relationships is by strategically leveraging the tools that you have available. That doesn’t mean
blindly shooting out messages, texts, and emails left and right. That doesn’t mean that you have
to use every new app that comes on the market. That doesn’t mean being “plugged-in” 24/7. It
does mean you have to be intentional with using technology to support your existing
communication process.
Being deliberate with your technology is critical, because it can easily be a source of
countless wasted time. You could spend hours doing market research that is little more than
glorified websurfing. Sales reps find it easy to check LinkedIn one more time instead of picking
up the phone or sending an email. You can get lazy and send texts that are poor substitutes for
in-person conversations and cause confusion and wasted time. It’s important to keep in mind
that technology is simply a tool, one that can help or hurt our efforts. Think of it as an
“enhancer”. Whatever you are doing well or doing poorly, it enhances the effect. It compounds
the results that you are already getting, regardless of whether they are good are bad.
In our case, the goal is to integrate these new tools into how we interact with our
network. The key is to connect each of the tools with a specific activity or function, especially if
you are struggling in a certain area. For example, if you have problems keeping your network
organized, consider using the CRM software that you use for your prospects to also track
networking conversations. If you are struggling to find ways to share content on social media,
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check out programs like Hootsuite or Buffer that allow you to collect and easily share articles
that you are reading. If you want to demonstrate your subject matter expertise, a blog might be
perfect. I go through a list of different ideas in Nit21C. Ultimately, you want these to be in
service of your business goals, and especially towards the goal of cultivating a stronger network.
Technology is a tool, just like a hammer, paint-brush, or circular saw. Though you might
be able to pick up a screwdriver and use it with little instruction, you might need a little help
learning how to use a mechanized jack-hammer. In the same way, there is a learning curve to
using technology. So after you decide what tools you are going to focus on, make sure you get
adequate training on optimizing its use. Whether it’s a new CRM system, social media platform,
or email response system, don’t expect to use it effectively without investing in some learning. I
remember taking a simple course on using Twitter that saved me hours of time and made me
much more efficient because I learned all of the shortcuts. Don’t shortchange yourself when
getting in the swing with technology. Think of it as another place to be an autodidact.
You’ll notice that I’m talking about all kinds of technology in this chapter. In most
people’s minds, however, technology for networking is equated with social media. While all
technology is critical success, it’s worth paying a little extra attention to how social networking
sites can help and hurt. Sites like LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, and Instagram have
become a staple in our lives. And those are just the well-known brands. There are also
platforms like Snapchat, Blab, Slack, and the one that is being invented as I write this paragraph.
If we want to look at the good and bad of technology’s impact on business and networking, you
don’t have to go any further than social media. There isn’t enough time to talk about social
selling and digital networking in depth here. That would take a book or three (In fact, I wrote
one. Check out Networking in the 21st Century…On LinkedIn). But whether you are in the
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camp that sees online networking as one of the best things since sliced bread or just a fad that
won’t go away, there are powerful ways to cultivate your network through social media that you
can’t ignore.
While social media can help with your networking, you don’t have to spend all of your
time tweeting and snapchatting. A networking friend once said about his social media use, “The
most important thing is mindfulness. You have to have enough awareness to know when you are
nurturing a relationship and when you are just sharing kitten videos.” Don’t get lost down the
rabbit hole of social media, dashboards, and data. You are going to struggle if you spend all of
your time staring at your cellphone instead of interacting with the people around you. Ask
yourself if your time on a digital platform is moving relationships forward. If it isn’t, either
change what you are doing or get off of the computer.
When you are using digital tools to move your relationships forward, they play an
important role in helping you scale your attention beyond Dunbar’s number. This is a key
component in maintaining contact with the wide range of weak connections that we mentioned
earlier. You can nurture these relationships with tools like LinkedIn, Twitter, Instagram, and the
latest site du jour. In just a few minutes a day, you can share information and find out what your
networking partners are up to. In the next section we’ll cover some tactical steps to bring social
media under your control, but always look to strike a balance in your social media use. Spend
enough time to cultivate your relationships, but not so much that other parts of your business
start hurting.
The average salesperson has a host of powerful tools at their fingertips. Whether you
need a database, personal assistant, or video studio, you have access to capabilities unheard of in
the past. Don’t fear technology, but don’t give it too much credit either. Let it be your servant,
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and you will find yourself nurturing your relationships easily and effectively. It opens up a way
to connect with a much larger sphere of influence with a relatively small investment of time, one
that earlier generations would have been jealous of. Finding the perfect place for technology in
your networking is a journey, but one with a great payoff.
One of the interesting effects of technology, especially social media, has been the erosion
of the carefully constructed walls between our personal and professional lives. In the next
chapter we’ll look at how to navigate a networking world where there isn’t a clear distinction
between our friends and our clients.
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Act as a Profersonal™ Professional
Who are your friends? Who are your clients? Who are your colleagues? If you went
down a list of people that you knew and put each of them into a specific relationship bucket, how
long would it be until you had a hiccup because you didn’t know where to put someone? It
might a customer that you’ve worked with for the last five years who shares your love of vintage
muscle cars. Or maybe you have a college friend who was a perfect fit for your sales team and
was brought on after you referred her. There are an almost unlimited number of scenarios where
the line between your personal and professional relationships gets crossed. You aren’t alone in
this. Most people are finding that they have more and more relationships that blend the different
parts of their lives, and in fact the dividing line itself is much blurrier than it’s ever been.
This is part of a larger social trend, and it shouldn’t come as a shock if you’ve been in
sales for any amount of time. The relationship between the salesperson and the customer was
always one that pulled from both the personal and professional side. Great salespeople have
always known the key to connecting with their prospects was to connect as people first.
Mediocre salespeople skirted the line of being inauthentic and just feigning friendship to get a
prospect to buy, but the best salespeople always spent time getting to know the people they
worked with. They learned their challenges and looked for ways to help them with those
problems. Consider the popular concept of solution-based selling which focuses on learning a
prospect’s pain points and providing them with the right solutions. During this process, it makes
sense that a salesperson would probably start to genuinely care about the success of their client.
Whether in a business-to-business or business-to-consumer environment, these relationships
were a key part of the sales process.
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What about the people that you spend hours and hours working with? Of course you’re
going to develop friendships with your colleagues and peers. I have been to many national sales
conferences as an outside speaker. Some of the attendees have known each other for years and
it’s clear that the relationships are about much more than business. The conversations tend to
revolve around family and personal matters as much as they focus on annual sales quotas. Being
in sales, and having some familiarity with these patterns and interactions gives you a huge head
start to building a great network. You just have to apply this process beyond your prospects and
colleagues.
In Networking in the 21st Century I write about a concept called profersonalism™. The
term was first coined by my friend Jason Seiden, the CEO of Brand Amper. It describes the
convergence and overlapping nature of our personal and professional lives in the modern world,
especially online. In the second half of the twentieth century, many professionals tried to
separate the different areas of their lives, and keep the people in those areas apart. The thought
was, “These are my work connections over here. Those are my personal connections. Here are
my friends, here are my co-workers, and here are my industry colleagues. I’m going to put them
all in neat little silos.” Of course, it never really worked out so cleanly. We’d still have
colleagues that became friends, and we brought our friends and family into our work sphere
when necessary (I got one of my first jobs when my dad’s coworker’s wife hired me to scoop ice
cream at Milwaukee’s Summerfest).
So the world was never black and white to begin with, and it continues to become grayer.
Younger professionals entering the workplace never had these clearly defined silos, and are
much more comfortable mixing the different parts of their lives. This runs parallel to the further
erosion of these neat and tidy categories by social media. It is actually a powerful feedback loop:
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social media sites make it clear that the various groups overlap, and then it makes it even easier
to bring those different groups together. It’s easy to think of LinkedIn as the place for your
clients and Facebook as the place for your friends, but a quick glance through your connections
on either of those sites will quickly dissuade you of that idea.
This profersonal process is evident everywhere in our business lives, and it’s continuing
to increase. We live in a fluid world, and a key step in modern networking is embracing this
concept. Networking isn’t confined to business conferences and formal networking meetups,
and friendships don’t have to stay out of the office. But that doesn’t mean that there aren’t some
important steps to make our profersonal relationships more constructive and comfortable.
It can be unsettling when the structure of the relationship is a little more loose and
informal. You don’t have formal patterns to rely on. How should you interact with someone that
you know on a personal level who becomes a client, or who could refer business to you or
connect you to someone else? The blurring of clearly defined lines makes it harder to navigate
the relationship when you can’t fall back on set expectations.
The best thing to do is to let the context of your interaction drive the dynamics of your
interaction. Instead of relying on the defined relationship to guide the conversation (client,
colleague, networking partner, etc.) you can let the environment you are currently in dictate how
you engage. Relationships don’t happen in a vacuum, and neither do conversations. The setting
of an interaction is one of the ways to determine how you are going to engage. Think back to the
last conference you went to. Maybe there was an industry expert that you approached after they
presented a seminar. My guess is that you would cover different topics and chat in a different
way if you were at a cocktail reception held by the hotel pool instead of in suits after a workshop.
You’re talking to the same person, but the context has changed. That’s something that most
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salespeople intuitively understand. Pay attention to this skill because it’s important in navigating
profersonal relationships. If you have become friends with someone in your network, be sure to
keep the conversations professional when you are in a business scenario and personal when you
are spending time outside of a formal setting. Let the situational context drives the
conversational context.
Using the environment to help guide our conversations can still leave a lot of gray area,
so there are two considerations that can help when building profersonal relationships. The first is
to keep the comfort level and goals of your networking partner in mind. If you meet someone in
a professional context, don’t avoid the personal, but bring it in slowly. They might not be as
comfortable with the profersonal concept, and you don’t want to make them feel like the
conversation is going into topics they don’t want to talk about. Be situationally aware and try to
see things from their point of view. This is one of the surest ways to avoid putting the other
person in an awkward position. (If you are looking for one of those basic social skills to
practice, this is definitely one of them).
That brings us to the second key to successful profersonal networking: being authentic
and genuine in all settings. To go from the personal to the professional and back, you have to be
the same person in all environments. Just because you engage differently in different settings,
doesn’t mean that you should change as a person. What if one of the project managers at a client
company is your brother-in-law? You probably won’t walk into a meeting and talk about what
your niece and nephew were doing at Thanksgiving. Conversely, the family dinner table might
not be the ideal place for contract negotiations. But who you are shouldn’t change. You don’t
want to feel that you have to put on a mask or be inauthentic. The goal is to make sure that at the
core you are the same person in every setting. That way you aren’t worrying about what to say
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or do, which can be exhausting. You can go from situation to situation and rely on that
foundation.
Let’s even tie this into the technology conversation we had in the last chapter. If you
keep these ideas in mind, you’ll find that the profersonal mindset acts as a powerful catalyst for
how to engage in a hyper-connected world. Using social media, email, and texts to stay in touch
with people will lead to a network that spans your personal and professional spheres. When you
come from a place that’s authentic, you can bounce from professional posts to personal posts and
not worry about how you are engaging. You will be the hub of an interconnected web of clients,
partners, and peers…who are also your friends. It’s an incredibly fun and rewarding way to live
your business life. You’ll have business meetings that don’t feel like business meetings and
conversations with your friends that help move your business forward.
But of course, we still have to apply these strategies or nothing will happen. So let’s look
at ways to get tactical with your networking.
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Section 3 –Action Steps for “Un-Sucking” Your Network
In Networking in the 21st Century, I cover 28 tactical tools that can immediately
improve your networking. As I mentioned earlier in the introduction, I had to look at these ideas
in general terms so they would be broadly applicable. My goal here is to narrow the focus and
look at how these guidelines apply specifically to the sales world. I know that salespeople love
actionable steps, so in this section we’ll customize a few of the tactics from the original book so
that you can go out and use them right away. We’ll also add a few special ones that are relevant
specifically to sales professionals.
I encourage you to look at all of the tactics in Nit21C. Also, remember to check out the
resource page online for even more ways that you can successfully execute your networking
strategies.
Sales Professional Networking
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Meet Our Fearless Hero
In the previous installments of the Nit21C series, we’ve watched a number of
professionals play out the strategies and tactics of modern networking. We’ve had Bob the
Accountant, Emily the Millennial, Bill the User-Experience Manager, and Lisa the Web
Designer. Let me introduce Jaime the Technology Sales Executive to this group.
Jaime has been in the sales trenches for a little over a decade. He started out in sales as
many people do: by accident. After graduating with a communications degree, he bumped
around in a number of positions until he found a job selling office equipment. It wasn’t
glamorous, but to his surprise, he liked it! And he was good at it. He loved working with
prospects and clients, he loved the chance to compete, and he loved being rewarded for his
hustle. He moved around to a number of sales positions until he landed in the software industry,
where he found a natural niche. The company focused on creating software solutions for the
expanding “Internet of Things” and was on the leading edge of changes in the field. He enjoyed
the intricacy of creating complex solutions, and he still liked that his hustle had an impact on his
results.
Jaime recently moved to the west suburbs of Chicago with his young family. It’s been a
shift from the condo he shared with his wife downtown. A new (bigger) house, two young
children, a minivan…it’s time for him to step up his game. He’s pretty sure that he doesn’t want
to go into management, but he wants to scale up his income. And with more demands on his
time leaving little extra, he knows he actually has to follow the old adage to “…work smarter and
not harder.”
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Instead of grinding away in hopes of being more successful, he wants to become more
strategic with how he builds his pipeline. He has always felt like he was a good networker, but
upon consideration, he sees how he has been pretty transactional in a lot of his relationships.
Looking around at the true superstars in his business, he sees that many of them have developed
deep and long-term relationships that create benefits over and over. He wants that. And he’s
willing to make some changes to make that happen.
Jaime has never had a problem with meeting people or starting a business relationship
with them. Like most salespeople, he views his people skills as above average. However, he’s
never put any thought into the larger context of his relationships. He just went with the flow, and
kept on the lookout for the next opportunity. Up until this point in his career, he has only paid
attention to his “networking” in bits and pieces. In fact, he purposefully thought about
networking only when he was looking for a job. He still went to a few local industry events and
association conferences every year, but that was about it. Truth be told, he was often the guy at
an event who was just looking for someone to sell to. He never thought of himself as greedy or
self-centered, he was just trying to do his job.
But now he doesn’t have a lot of strong relationships with customers, peers, or referral
partners, and he thinks it’s time for a change. If he wants to break into the upper echelon of sales
professionals in his industry, he knows that building a strong web of relationships is going to be
critical. His goal is to bring some focus and leverage to his long-term relationship building. He
wants to create stronger relationships with his current clients to develop more opportunities and
internal champions. He’d love to connect with other professionals in the industry to keep abreast
of new developments and stay in the know on industry trends. Connecting with other influencers
could also go a long way to helping establish credibility and get referrals to new customers.
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As we explore ways to leverage the strategies and tactics found in Networking in the 21st
Century and how they apply to sales professionals, we’ll see what Jaime can do to cultivate a
network that will move his career to the next level.
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Tactic 1 – Creating a Plan
One of the bits of wisdom I received from my first sales manager is something I’m sure
you’ve heard as well: “Failing to plan is like planning to fail.” It applies to many parts of your
career, and it definitely comes into play when developing a network that will benefit you now
and in the future. Before you invest the effort and attention, it’s a smart move to figure out the
best places to leverage that effort and attention. Your networking plan should be an integral part
of your business development plan (you have one of those, right?) and is key in helping you
create a vibrant pipeline. It will include methods of finding and cultivating new contacts, as well
as ways to nurture your relationships over time.
Instead of making it up as you go along (and getting haphazard results), you’ll want to
outline a clear path forward. A good networking plan acts as a map to direct your efforts.
Shooting from the hip only works in the movies! Another old sales adage fits well here: “Plan
your work, and then work your plan.”
Creating a networking plan doesn’t have to be a formal and tedious event. It can be as
simple as writing down ideas in a notebook or in a file on your computer or smartphone. Involve
your sales manager if you have one. If you don’t, it can be helpful to partner up with someone
who is already in your network and wants to improve their networking too. Just grab lunch or a
beverage with them while you talk through your networking plans and answer the questions
below. That way you have an accountability partner for your networking activities. Be sure to
jot down your ideas, though, because writing helps you clarify your thinking and gives you a
reference point to come back to. There aren’t necessarily “correct” answers to these questions,
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but the answers you do develop will inform and influence how you approach your networking
activities.
Once you create clarity around your networking efforts, it’s much easier to make
decisions about how to build your network. You will find that opportunities pop up with more
regularity because you know what to look for, and you will recognize a chance to build a
relationship when it appears.
1. What are you trying to accomplish in your career?
Start your plan by defining the overarching goals you are looking to accomplish. The
more specific you can be here, the better. Saying “I want more clients and referral
partners” isn’t very helpful. “I want my pipeline to grow by 50%” or “I need to
connect with 1 new potential client every month” or “I need to connect with 5 referral
partners who are influencers in the software industry in the next quarter” is much
clearer and more likely to happen. Clarity helps you identify the potential connection
opportunities right in front of you.
2. Who do you need in your network?
Based on your clearly defined networking goals, you should be able to identify the
gaps in your current network. These are the people that you need to actively search
out. You can identify general groups of people by job title or role, or you can create a
“wish list” of specific contacts to reach out to. Move beyond your potential clients,
because you already have them on your radar. How about identifying people who
influence your ideal customers? Are there suppliers, vendors, or subject matter
experts to engage with? No matter what your business goals, it helps to have other
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people that you can talk to, share ideas with, and get feedback from. Actively looking
to build these relationships now will create immediate benefits, but more importantly
you will also have a solid network to rely on down the road.
3. Where can you meet them?
Once you know who you want to connect with, you have to connect with them. You
have to put yourself in situations where you can start these relationships. More often
than not, this means identifying the environments where your ideal connections spend
their time and attention. Approach this like an advertising executive: Connect the
venue to the audience. There is a reason that beer and trucks are advertised during
football games, and diapers aren’t. Where do your ideal connections spend their time
and attention, both offline and online? Think of industry or civic groups,
associations, charitable organizations, hobby clubs. Also consider online settings like
Twitter chats, LinkedIn groups, or active blog communities. Pick 2 or 3 places to put
your attention, and focus on them for the next six months, because it takes time to get
up and running.
4. How will you maintain and develop your relationships?
Follow-up is critical to your networking success, and it is easier to have good follow-
up when you have a plan beforehand. Create a simple flowchart describing what will
happen when you meet someone. You probably have some form of CRM that you
are using with your clients and prospects. Is there a way to add your networking
partners? Write templates for follow-up emails or messages that you will send to new
connections (see Nit21C for ideas). Decide who you are going to contact for one-on-
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one meetings and the questions you can ask in those meetings. Look out to the future
6 months down the line, or even a year out. How do you want to interact with your
networking partners then? The clearer you are now, the more likely it will happen.
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Jaime’s Plan for Success
Jaime had never created a strategic plan for networking, and if he was honest, he never
planned a lot of his prospecting. He was much more interested in getting out there and talking to
people, so his habit was to do the minimum necessary to get a decent list to work with, and then
he was off. He realized that was why he was working harder than he needed to (because he was
working hard, not smart). Spending a little time up front to develop a game plan might feel a
little uncomfortable, but he didn’t have a lot of time to waste. If he was going to leverage the
extra time he had to build his network, he’d need a blueprint to follow.
He enlisted help to make it easier. His Director of Sales, Tony, was stretched pretty thin
as far as time and resources were concerned. But during one of their conversations, Jaime shared
his goal of creating a stronger network to help bring in more business. Tony was on board and
suggested a few key areas where Jaime could look for good networking partners. Jaime also
brought it up with one of his oldest buddies in the sales world, Phil. They had met when they
were both rookie salesmen and even though their paths had diverged, they had lunch together
every few weeks. Phil shared that he had also been thinking about meeting some new people to
turbocharge his career, so they decided to spend time during their lunches talking about new
connections they made.
The biggest opportunities for Jaime lay in forming relationships with the IT leadership of
prospective client organizations. Even when someone wasn’t directly involved in the buying
process, a thumbs-up from the powers that be went a long way towards influencing those
decisions. Also, it was a relatively interconnected industry so he knew they could be a good
source of referrals and testimonials. For the same reason, he also knew that it was worth looking
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for connections with the burgeoning crop of bloggers, reviewers, and other industry
“influencers”. They often had a finger on the pulse of the industry, and knew what was going on
with many of the players that he wanted to meet.
To improve his chances of connecting with these people, he created a “relationship
checklist”. He knew that he had a tendency to bounce from one activity to another, and that his
follow-up would get lost in the cracks if he didn’t have a specific program. He put an Evernote
document on his phone that outlined his process after meeting a new networking connection,
from his follow up email template to a message he would send 2 months later to check in. It was
similar to the process he used when working with his prospective clients and was easy to modify.
All he had to do was follow his checklist, instead of constantly reinventing the wheel. He
felt a lot more comfortable that he would stay in touch with people because he had a map to
follow. There would be a lot of moving parts, but Jaime knew that when he made these things
habitual, they’d happen. The more he invested up front, the more his business would improve.
It focused his conversations with Phil at their lunches, and it gave him some actionable, concrete
steps to take.
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Tactic 2 – Planting a Flag
It’s hard to stand out in our noisy world. The people in your network are exposed to
hundreds of messages a day. Any information you are trying to share will easily get lost in the
shuffle. It’s important to create a strong personal brand that your networking partners associate
with you. I call it “planting a flag”. If you can’t be clear about what you do and why you are
good at what you do, there’s no way that your network will be able to connect you with
opportunities and resources. Every time your message gets passed along, it becomes a little
fuzzier (like the children’s game Telephone). That’s why it’s important to start with a clear,
concise message. The more clarity you create from the beginning, the stronger and more
memorable your message will be.
You might think that your brand, and your company’s brand, is already super-solid and
super-clear. You may believe that your network thinks about what you do constantly and
consistently, but that’s because your perspective is skewed. You live in your brain 24 hours a
day, 7 days a week, and so you think that everyone has the same view of what you do as you.
However, your contacts think about you and your company a lot less than you believe. They
have just as many things going on in their lives and careers as you do, and you are rarely on the
top of their list. It’s especially common to assume that our network knows the value we provide
through our products and services. We think that everyone knows exactly what we sell and how
we help our customers and clients. But one of the most common things that salespeople hear is,
“I didn’t know that you did that!”
It’s also important to move beyond your company’s brand and create a brand that is
specific to you. People don’t buy from a company, they buy from an individual…and they also
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don’t network with an organization, they network with a person. Who are you beyond just a job
title is a key component in your networking relationships. Find ways to flesh out your
individual contributions to your clients. You should still find ways to align what you are saying
on a personal level with the overall company brand, because they are intertwined. If you want
your partners to refer business and resources to you, they have to understand what you are
looking for and how to facilitate the right introductions.
Personal branding is a complex topic that has many layers, but there are four simple ways
that you can start thinking about your personal brand:
1. Your mission—why do you work with your customers?
Is there a particular passion that you bring to your work? Are you motivated by more
than just a paycheck? Product conviction is an important success ingredient for sales
professionals. Share your story!
2. Your method—how do you work with your customers?
Do you approach your work from a different angle that benefits your customers? For
example, I know a small business attorney that doesn’t have an office. She makes
“house calls” to her clients at their offices. They love the attention and convenience
and she sets herself apart. What do you and your company do that is different?
3. The demographics—who are your customers?
“Trying to be everything to everyone makes you nothing to nobody.” That
grammatically incorrect but incredibly sage advice came from one of my sales
mentors. People want to know they are dealing with an expert in their field, someone
who understands their particular situation. The more focused and clear you are about
your ideal clients, the easier it will be to find them.
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4. Your service—what do you do for them?
What will they get from you that they can’t get from someone else? What is your
“special ingredient”? Look at the other people in your field and find a way to
separate yourself from the rest of the pack. While a “Unique Selling Proposition” is
rarely truly unique, it will often set you apart from the rest of your competitors.
Communicate that difference to your network.
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Jaime the Expert in Digital Transformation for Business Success
Jaime had always thought the idea of a personal brand was a little foolish. He felt his job
was to make his employer shine, and build value for his prospects so that they could move from
prospect to client. But he could see how the internet was changing all of that. He had noticed
two trends:
His prospects had a lot more information at their fingertips and were approaching
him later in their sales process. In fact, it was now common for his prospects to
be close to their final decisions when they reached out.
They were also more overwhelmed by the information. While they had access to
a lot of material, they weren’t necessarily prepared to make good decisions
because there was so much data.
If he wanted to stand out to the people he was doing business with, he had to find a
specific niche that would differentiate him. When interacting with a client or someone in his
network who could connect him with a potential client, Jaime had to clearly define where he
could bring value.
He truly loved working with technology, and while not a computer programmer, had
always kept in touch with what was happening on the technical side of the work the company
was doing. At the same time, he also enjoyed working with his clients to engineer solutions to
their challenges, and their challenges often had a lot of moving parts. While most people
assumed that a salesperson wasn’t the place to find an analytical mind, Jaime’s client loved
working with him because he could bring all of the pieces together. “Creating solutions” wasn’t
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just a buzzword for Jaime, it’s what he focused on. He could bring together information, people,
and ideas from different parts of the organization to figure out the best path forward.
That would be his niche: he was the guy who crafted digital transformation solutions for
the Internet of Things by understanding how the software fit into the larger business picture.
Other people might pay lip-service to the idea, but Jaime could position himself in his customers’
minds as they guy to talk to when they were looking at ways to manage digital transformation in
their business, even if they weren’t looking to buy something from him right then. He could be
their trusted advisor where software and IoT overlapped. This would make it easy for everyone
in his network to understand why and when they would recommend him. It would be much
easier to have networking conversations and share how he could help people. In the end, he
knew this would make him valuable to his contacts and help him create better conversations with
people. It would also help him get into the buying conversations that his prospects were having
earlier than he might otherwise.
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Tactic 3 – Crafting an Intriguing Elevator Speech
Because sales professionals are constantly introducing themselves to new people, the
much-maligned elevator speech already holds a special place in their toolbox. One of the key
tasks for a salesperson is starting relationships and getting people interested in finding out more.
My guess is that you have a whole stable of openings you can pull from when it comes to
elevator pitches that you use. You’ve probably used them already on potential sales prospects.
These are going to give you a great foundation when networking, but we need to look at some
important modifications.
Creating a networking elevator speech looks to achieve a different goal in the beginning.
You don’t need to be as assertive (or pushy) with a networking introduction because you aren’t
looking to sell something right away. What you are really “pitching” to your audience is the idea
of starting a relationship with you. A clear and concise introduction of yourself makes a strong
first impression and gives people the chance to be intrigued and interested when they hear what
you do. A confusing or vague introduction won’t work. Speak about what you and your
company do clearly, and speak in terms of what will interest your audience.
Sometimes you will use your introduction when you are in front of a room full of people
that you don’t know, for example a networking breakfast or your local Chamber of Commerce
lunch ‘n learn. You can also use a shortened and informal version if you are meeting someone
one-on-one for the first time at a conference or at a social event. It’s common for salespeople to
go too intense too soon. Remember that your elevator speech is simply an introduction to let
others know who you are and why they would want to get to know you. Trying to sell from the
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very first moment will just push people away. Salespeople are known for being pushy, so be the
opposite. Pull them in. Intrigue your audience and make them want to find out more about you.
Here’s the outline of an elevator speech that I introduce in Nit21C. When you are
introducing yourself, it’s important to remember that your listeners don’t know anything about
you. We often assume that everyone understands the nuances of our daily work, but that’s
because we do it every day. If I told someone I was a speaker, author, and business coach, they
wouldn’t know what it means. Or at least they wouldn’t know what it means to me. When in
doubt, err on the side of being too basic.
The Structure of a Great Introduction
1. Share your name and title (what you do).
2. Tell them your mission (or your main goal).
a. Come up with something consistent (brand yourself).
b. This is your hook—just like a song— find your refrain and repeat it.
3. Give them a relevant piece of information (pick one – this can/should change).
a. Here’s a fact you might not have known.
b. Here’s an important industry fact that has changed.
c. Here’s a new way I can support my networking partners.
d. Here’s a twist on a current product or service that you might not know.
4. Give them a reason/way to act now.
a. Talk to me afterwards.
b. Reach out to me if you have any questions.
c. Find more information from this online resource.
d. Connect with me on (insert social media platform) at _______.
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5. Repeat your name and title (what you do).
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Jaime’s Introduction
Hi, I’m Jaime, and I’m an account executive with SoftwareSolutions XYZ. We work to
bring the latest software to our industrial clients. Did you know that there are going to be over
6.4 billion devices connected in the Internet of Things in the next few years? That’s a lot of
devices and we’re bringing more automation, control, and feedback into our customers’ offices
and manufacturing plants. The goal is to increase efficiency and decrease bottom line costs. If
you are intrigued by the way the Internet of Things is changing the workplace, or you know
someone who is tasked with digital transformation in their business and is struggling with it, I’d
love to connect. Please come chat with me after the meeting or reach out to me on LinkedIn.
Again, my name is Jaime, and I’m connecting people and technology at SoftwareSolutions XYZ.
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Tactic 4 – Balancing Relationships with Selling
Many of the questions I get when talking to salespeople about networking revolves
around a disarmingly simple topic: control. Should they follow up right away or let their partner
choose the pace of the relationship? How will they know when it’s OK to make an “ask” for an
introduction or business connection? What should they do if the relationship doesn’t seem to be
going anywhere? When there aren’t simple guidelines on how to monitor and change the pacing
of the relationship, it creates a lot of uncertainty and apprehension. It’s one of the reasons why
so many salespeople simply avoid networking altogether.
Many salespeople liked the 20th
-century sales process we looked at in Section 1 because
they always felt like they were in control. They were making the outbound calls. They were
doing the follow up. They were controlling when they asked for the business. It feels nice to be
in control, it takes out a lot of the uncertainty and fear. But the 21st-century process works much
differently. It has evened the playing field quite a bit between the salesperson and their partners,
both in networking and in sales. It has become common for others to dictate the pace of the
relationship. For example, now prospects will reach out to the salesperson when they’re ready,
but not before. The salesperson has lost their preferred position as the repository of information,
and so they don’t command the same ability to control the relationship.
It’s crucial to pay attention to this new landscape when building your network. You’ll
want to find a new way to navigate through your relationships, one that balances everyone’s
input. Strong-arming your networking contacts into your funnel isn’t going to help you make
any friends. That lack of control shouldn’t scare you away from networking, though. There are
still relevant tools and techniques that you can use to make the relationships meaningful for both
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sides. Instead of putting your focus on controlling the conversation, put your focus on the
relationship itself and how to create value for both parties.
I once heard an expert on social selling admonish a group, “You don’t want to get caught
in the Friend Zone, because nothing ever happens there.” While clever, it misses out on the fact
that being friendly and establishing a relationship is the foundation for everything that comes
after it. You can be friendly and still focus on the business parts of the relationship. You can
still be goal-oriented, you’ll just get there in a different way. When you are in sales, your job is
to make things happen and move business forward. Losing control over relationships doesn’t
remove this goal. It simply expands the potential paths that you can take to reach the goal.
How do you navigate relationships where you don’t have control over the other person’s
engagement?
1. Give up the idea that control is necessary for success.
The first step is simple: stop bemoaning the fact that you don’t have control over the
pace of your relationships. In reality, you never did. Trying to force people to act
when and how you want is pretty challenging, and it’s very hard to do without
upsetting the other person. You can still focus on results – just make sure that you are
focused on the end goals that support everyone in your network.
2. Listen – really listen – to interest signals.
When you hear about improving your listening skills, it’s not just a “feel-good”
exercise. It’s a very practical way to key into what the other person is thinking and
feeling. Pay attention to the other person because empathy is one of the best tools the
modern networker has. People will constantly tell you how they can help you and
how you can help them. All you have to do is pay attention.
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3. Don’t force it
Some salespeople struggle by failing to ask for business. Many others fail by being
pushy and not taking ”no” for an answer. It’s important to strike a balance. Because
they fear missing a chance, salespeople often go too far, too fast. If you aren’t sure
that the relationship is ready for what you want to ask, pause. In networking, as long
as you don’t burn the bridge, there will be a chance to ask again.
4. Give, give, give.
This is the recurring theme of the book because it is really that important. I’m not
worried about your ability to ask for things (you are in sales after all). The problem
is, so few people truly invest in their relationships. If you haven’t laid a strong
foundation, there isn’t a clever trick I can teach you to get help from you network.
When in doubt, find a way to help your networking partner and worry about getting
something back later.
5. Always offer an out if you aren’t sure.
There are rarely a lot of easy black and white questions in relationships. So
sometimes you might not know where the relationship stands. It can make asking for
help a little daunting if you aren’t completely sure that the relationship is ready for it.
It’s hard to know sometimes if you have built up enough relationship capital to ask
because there isn’t an algorithm for relationships. When in doubt, give an “out”.
(See the Section 5 for specific ideas)
6. Don’t overemphasize every individual relationship.
You don’t have to be everyone’s best friend. You don’t have to make every
networking relationship an amazing one. Keep in mind that the power of your
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network is in the connections between all of the people in it. You don’t have to be in
control of all your relationships to be successful. They say that selling is a numbers
game. So is networking!
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Jaime Finds a New Balance
One of the reasons Jaime had stayed away from focusing on his network was that it was
messy. He couldn’t easily track and quantify his networking relationships so he couldn’t easily
point to the successes he was having. And he had quarterly numbers to worry about. It didn’t
seem like a good idea to focus any of his attention on activities that he couldn’t ramp up. Since
he felt he that he couldn’t leverage his networking relationships through hustling more, why
bother?
He found a lot of security in the feeling of control that the linear sales process gave him.
He liked opening up his Salesforce dashboard and seeing exactly who he needed to contact and
what he needed to talk to them about. He didn’t like having conversations where it wasn’t
completely obvious what the next step was. Upon reflection, though, he also admitted that
because he wasn’t having open-ended interactions, he wasn’t giving himself the chance to create
new and bigger opportunities for his sales pipeline (and his career).
A key step for him was shifting his need for control from his individual relationships to
his overall networking activities. He decided to apply the same focus that he put on attacking his
sales calls to managing his engagement with his network. He let the conversations flow
organically when he was interacting with his contacts, but he would hustle to make sure that he
was having enough conversations and that his follow up was impeccable.
When he was in a conversation with someone, he started playing a game with himself.
He had always prided himself on his ability to find out a prospect’s pain points during his sales
presentations. He decided to follow a similar approach to his networking conversations. Instead
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of controlling the direction of the conversation, he would be a detective and try to find out what
his partners’ challenges were and how he could help them.
It didn’t happen overnight, but changing his focus did allow Jaime to have more and
better conversations with people in his network. Where he would have closed down interactions
in the past, or where he would have tried to lead it to a sales opportunity even if it wasn’t
relevant, he kept an open approach. He noticed that he wasn’t losing out by doing so, and he
began to find ways to help his networking partners that wouldn’t have been apparent in the past.
He also found he was enjoying his conversations more because he didn’t have to put as much
energy into controlling their direction. He began to look forward to connecting with people, and
that was a huge step in the right direction.
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Tactic 5 – Asking for Introductions and Opportunities
Giving up control is a bit of a metaphysical process. It’s important to remember, though,
that this is networking, so you want to leverage these efforts when appropriate. Building
relationships is fun and rewarding in itself, but we start networking relationships to help solve
business challenges. There are specific techniques that make tapping into that easier. We want
to harness the “asking muscles” from the sales process and apply them to approaching our
network. Many salespeople still struggle when navigating the networking world because they
don’t know the right way to ask for help. It’s challenging because there isn’t a cookie cutter
approach that can be applied to every networking situation. Here’s a secret: If you’ve built up
enough relationship capital with a person, it doesn’t have to be awkward.
It can be hard to quantify exactly when it’s appropriate to ask for help, so often you’ll
have to go by feel. There are a lot of variables to keep in mind: how long you’ve known each
other, how often you’ve interacted, what your interactions were about, etc. It can be helpful to
have some internal guidelines that you use when approaching your partners. An easy rule of
thumb to keep in mind is that if you feel awkward asking, it’s probably too early to ask. Flip the
situation. If they were to ask you for an introduction to a new business contact, would you feel
that it was too early or would you feel comfortable making the connection. It’s not always based
on time. There are people who I’ve immediately hit it off with, and after an hour-long
conversation about old-school hip-hop and craft beer, I’d be completely comfortable asking for
or giving an introduction. On the other side of the spectrum, there have been times when it has
taken months and numerous conversation and social media posts before the comfort and
confidence were there.
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Having a simple structure to your networking “asks” can also make things easier. When
you do ask for an introduction, for example, let the person know what kind of help you need, and
why you need it. Be sure to leave them an “out,” so they can take a pass on your request without
feeling bad. You don’t know everything that is going on in your networking partner’s
professional life, and they might not be in a position to help you at that particular moment. These
same rules apply when you are asking for information, ideas, or feedback. Here are a few easy
scripts you can use:
1. How to Offer Help
“Hi, Jill. The last time we chatted you mentioned that you were looking to build up
your business with larger companies. I was having lunch with Bill Smith over at
Company ABC and it sounded like he would be a good person for you to talk to.
Would you like me to introduce you by email? If you don’t have the bandwidth right
now, I can hold off. I just thought you might have a good conversation.
2. How to ask for an introduction
“Jim, I saw on LinkedIn that you know Susan over at Company XYZ. I’ve worked
with other firms like hers and I would love to see if there is a way that I can help
them. Would you be OK with introducing us? It would be great to chat with her, and
if she isn’t in charge of that area, I’m hoping she can point me in the right direction. If
you don’t know her well enough, no worries. Thanks!”
3. How to ask for referrals
“I’m currently building my client base and am always on the lookout for new people I
can help. Who do you know that I might be able to work with? Do you know anyone
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who needs my services, particularly people who need _______? Even if you aren’t
sure of their specific needs, if they are in (a specific role or field), I’d love to talk to
them. If no one comes to mind right now, that’s totally okay.”
4. How to ask for business or a meeting
“You mentioned that you were looking to __________ the last time we were talking.
I think I might be able to help you with that. Do you have time for a quick meeting
next week by phone or over a cup of coffee? Let me know what works best for you.
We can also schedule it later down the line if you are too busy right now.”
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Jaime Leverages His Network
Asking for introductions was a key part of Jaime’s networking process. He had resisted
creating business relationships with non-prospects because it seemed like it would be a waste of
time. He hadn’t felt comfortable bridging the gap between creating a personal connection and
asking for help, and so if there wasn’t an obvious opportunity, he stayed away. To get over that
mental block, he wanted to create a way to ask for help when it was appropriate. He felt
confident that he would be able to identify any opportunities that arose, but he wanted to ensure
that he would approach his partners in a way that was comfortable to them. It didn’t make any
sense to put effort into his networking just to turn everyone off by being too aggressive or
annoying.
An early chance to ask for an introduction showed him the value of not asking for a
referral before he’d built a proper foundation. He met Susan, who was a project manager for a
large manufacturer in the Chicagoland area, at an industry conference. Normally, he would have
asked right away for an introduction to the potential buyers at her company, but he waited. He
followed up with her to set up a lunch and do some “networking”. At that lunch he found out
that Susan’s company was going through a massive restructuring and had ordered a 6-month
purchasing freeze. If he had asked for an introduction without that knowledge, she would have
been hard-pressed to set him up for success. As it was, when Jaime asked Susan if she could
introduce him later in the year after the buying freeze was done, she said, “Absolutely!”
He also looked closer to home. One of his new neighbors, Luke, worked at a large
electronic-goods manufacturer, and was likely connected to some great people for Jaime to talk
to. At a neighborhood barbeque, he started a conversation with Luke about what they were
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working on at his company. The old Jaime would have immediately looked for ways to get an
introduction, but now he looked for ways to help first. In the course of their conversation, Jaime
realized that he could introduce Luke to an accounting-software company that had helped
Jaime’s firm. Later, Luke messaged Jaime to thank him and ask how he could help in return.
Jaime shared that he would love an introduction to some of the decision-makers at Luke’s
company, highlighting specific people (that he had looked up on LinkedIn) and giving an out for
Luke as well. It was easy and comfortable, and led to some fantastic conversations that Luke
had prepped perfectly.
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Tactic 6 - Talking Less, Connecting More…with Questions
One way to practice letting go of the need for control is simple: talk less. Most
salespeople talk way too much. It’s ironic that the stereotype of a good salesperson is someone
who is a good at talking. In reality, those who are good at listening to their customers and
prospects are usually the most successful. This same dynamic applies to your networking.
We’ve seen that a powerful way to move your networking forward is to connect with
people who may or may not appear to be ideal prospects. It’s common for salespeople to identify
ideal prospects at a networking event and hone in on them. There’s nothing wrong with this, but
it prevents them from seeing and identifying candidates for long-term networking relationships.
One way to break out of this is to focus on setting up conversations which do not solely revolve
around trying to sell someone. As an aside, people know when you are only talking to them
because you want to sell them something, and they tend to put their guard up. (Can’t you tell
when someone is trying to sell you? In the same way, others can tell when you’re doing it to
them).
But what you should you talk about over a cup of coffee if you aren’t trying to sell the
other person? It’s the same apprehension that makes us hate first dates. In fact, you can think of
these one-on-one conversations as a business “first date”. It’s actually quite easy, and your sales
training is going to make this much simpler. Our goal is build rapport with the other person, to
create the foundation of a relationship. We want to be the listener, not the talker, and the best
way to get them talking is through sincere questions. That way you can learn about them, their
business, and how you can help them. As you show interest in them, they will usually reciprocate
and find out more about you in return. When you ask insightful questions, you’ll find that you
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have many similarities with your networking partner, and you’ll find ways to help each other
professionally. An hour will fly by!
It’s practically impossible to get to know someone in a big, crowded room, but it’s pretty
simple when you have a conversation at your local coffeehouse. You don’t have to follow up
with everyone you meet (and you don’t want to get in the way of your regular sales calls). Reach
out to the people with whom you think you could create a mutually beneficial connection or
those you simply enjoyed meeting. Take a look at the starter questions below, but don’t feel like
you have to go straight down the list and ask question after question. Just use them as a guide or
to prompt the conversation. The more you know about them and their business, the better your
professional relationship will be. And heck, you can probably pepper these in to your sales calls
to find out more about your prospects and clients.
1. Where are you from?
2. Where did you go to school?
3. What is your degree in?
4. How long have you lived where you live?
5. Why do you live there?
6. Why did you choose your current career?
7. What did you do before this position?
8. What do you like best about what you do?
9. What do you like least about what you do?
10. Where do you see your career in 5 years?
11. Why do you do what you do?
12. What are your favorite types of people to work with?
13. What’s the best quality of your company?
14. What is unique about your company and how you work?
15. What is your biggest obstacle in the next year?
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16. What is your biggest business opportunity this year?
17. What other organizations are you involved in?
18. What do you like about them?
19. What are your favorite hobbies?
20. What do you think of people in my line of work?
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Jaime Becomes a Serial “Dater”
One-on-one conversations were something that Jaime felt comfortable with. Over the
course of his sales career he had met thousands of people, so sitting down to have a cup of coffee
with someone seemed natural to him. That didn’t mean, however, that there weren’t some
adjustments he could make.
The biggest shift was in who he reached out to. He had become wired to think in binary
terms: either someone was a prospect or they weren’t. If they were a prospect, he would pursue
them. If they weren’t, he wouldn’t. It seemed to work, but he realized that he missed out on
starting long-term relationships that could be beneficial down the line. He was kicking people
out of his network based solely on whether they stood out as a prospect immediately. He was so
focused on the short-term that he wasn’t building a network that would support him in the future.
He began to take a more open-minded approach to his networking. He didn’t want to get
in the way of his existing sales schedule, but he realized there was an opportunity to add in one
or two meetings a week with other professionals who weren’t in his pipeline or already existing
clients. He decided to start by reaching out to some of the individuals he enjoyed speaking to at
industry conferences, but who weren’t direct customers. There were some influencers and well-
connected people that he could reach out to, and he realized he didn’t really know them that well.
He also explored other ways that he could improve the quality of the conversations that
he was having. He had learned to ask open-ended questions in his sales training, but if he was
honest, they were always aimed at leading someone down to a specific topic so he could turn the
conversation back to his products. There was an opportunity to focus more on discovery for
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discovery’s sake, without having an agenda. His networking conversations would be a good
place to practice these kinds of questions.
When he did open up the range of his questions, he actually found that he was having
more fun connecting with people. Ironically, when he stopped trying to direct his questions to a
specific purpose, he found the quality of his conversations improving. Part of that actually
meant that he was uncovering better ways that he could connect and help the people he was
talking to. He also added a simple question to his conversations, usually near the beginning:
“What’s the most exciting thing that’s happening in your business right now?” He was so used
to trying to uncover problems that he had forgotten the power of getting people jazzed about
things that were exciting and interesting to them. It went a long way to build a solid rapport
between them.
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Tactic 6.5 – Karma: Connections & Contributions
As you are going through these strategies and tactics, you may notice that many of these
ideas don’t strictly revolve around “sales” or even “professional” approaches. They aren’t just
about business conversations. They are really about the relationships that you develop with
people over time. That’s not by accident.
A powerful process I’ve observed is something I call networking karma. Many
professionals who struggle with networking think it’s a linear, tit-for-tat process. They view it as
a transactional process, and they think every bit of energy and attention they put into their
networking should get them something in return. E.g., one introduction given should directly
translate to another referral down the line. They think that there should always be a direct
correlation between what they do and what they get.
These aren’t necessarily stingy or small-minded people, they just want to see direct
results from their efforts. I understand that, but you need to know that it’s not how the
networking process works. Think of your network as a ball of energy. The more you put into
this ball of energy, the more likely something will shoot back out to help you. You aren’t always
going to know when or how. In fact, it’s common for our network to help us in completely
unexpected ways.
I first saw this in action as a young salesperson. I was lucky enough to be pretty
successful out of the gate which led me to hang around with other top representatives.
Something that stood out to me very quickly was that the successful reps, the ones that had real
staying power, didn’t act like I thought they would. They didn’t put their focus solely on their
own results; they were also generous with their time and knowledge so that the people around
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them could be successful as well. If I had a question for one of the veterans, all I had to do was
ask. They would even take me out on their sales calls so that I could watch them in action.
I tried to mirror that activity, because I soon learned what they already knew: the more
you give, the more you get.
In Nit21C, there’s a half chapter about the power of personal development in professional
networking. In it, I wrote:
“Personal development has to precede professional development.
You can only be as good a professional as you are a person.”
If you want to see more benefits from your networking, it helps to look at the overall
approach you take towards the people in your network. The more you focus on being a great
person – one that is helpful, loyal, and interested – the more likely you are to get professional
benefits.
Understanding networking karma means that you continue to plant seeds and nurture
them, even if you can’t see an immediate return. Just because you can’t see a causal relationship
between your activities and their effects doesn’t mean there isn’t one. Take a long-term and
generous approach to your networking and you will see more and more opportunities come your
way. Keep putting the “networking love” out there, and networking karma will take care of you.
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Tactic 7 – Courting Champions and Centers of Influence
Being a lone gun-slinger is an attractive idea to many salespeople. Being the go-to guy
or gal who can close any sale as easy as closing a door hangs out there like a perfect promise.
Our egos like to think that we can do everything on our own and that getting help isn’t necessary.
That image tends to be reinforced by sales cultures and contests that put us on a pedestal as a
way to motivate us and help us resist the negative impacts of rejection.
There’s just one problem: it’s a myth.
Successful sales professionals know that getting a signature on the dotted line requires a
lot more than just a prospect and a perfect sales pitch. There are a lot of variables and many
different actors in nearly every sales process. The decision-maker is usually enmeshed in their
own network of connections like bosses, colleagues, and industry influencers. Even from the
salesperson’s side, there can be a host of other actors like project managers, account
representatives, or engineers that are critical to getting business. When I was working in the
security business, the sales team’s best friends were the installation technicians who would do
the actual work. They could save or torpedo a sale.
Doesn’t it make sense to get these people on your side too?
This is one of the most powerful places that a strong network will support a sales
professional. By looking to build relationships beyond your prospects, you have a chance to
engage and connect with other centers of influence. Some of these people will be possible
referral partners. These are professionals who spend time in your prospects’ world, but aren’t a
prospect. For example, if you sell accounting software, you could pay attention to tax-attorneys
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that you might cross paths with. Any sales veteran knows that the best way to generate a lead is
through a warm referral. Cultivating these referral sources can be a great investment.
Also, the more complex your sales process, the more you should cultivate relationships
with the people around the decision-maker. This is simple to see in business-to-consumer sales,
where it’s important to get the buy-in of the spouse if you are only talking to one half of the pair.
In the business-to-business world there’s often up to five or ten other people who could influence
the process. Spend time connecting with those tangential actors who will influence the buying
decision. It can also be helpful to connect with industry experts who can give you credibility.
Every field has a small cadre of bloggers, social media personalities, and subject matter experts.
When possible, reach out them. You never know where a relationship with your industry’s top
blogger might lead you.
These centers of influence are your networking VIPs. These people are golden, and you
should always be looking for ways to add them to your network and find ways to take care of the
ones that you have. To find and nurture these VIP relationships, there are a few steps to keep in
mind.
1. Be clear about who you are looking for.
Who are the people that will have the most impact on your results? This will depend
a lot on your particular situation. A way to approach this is to ask yourself what kind
of people could impact your business the most if they were either raving fans or
stalwart opponents. If you have a relatively short, high-turnover sales process, then
referral partners might be worth focusing on. If you sell into the HR department at
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your prospective clients, but you know that Marketing gets involved, spend some
time cultivating relationships over there. A little strategy here will go a long way.
2. Create consistent and regular engagement with your centers of influence.
Since they can have a huge impact on your business, you don’t want to leave your
interactions up to chance. Don’t sit back and hope that they will think about you.
You also don’t want to be a pest and monopolize their time – that’s irritating. Find a
good balance where you can reach out to them consistently so that you stay top of
mind, but not so much that you are an annoyance.
3. Find ways to provide value to your VIPs.
This might take a little creativity on your part, because most of these people aren’t
going to be directly engaged in the same day-to-day activities like your prospects and
clients are. Creating value for these people can be as simple as sharing industry news
that might touch on their world. You could also be a connector and help introduce
them to people that can help them with the challenges they’re working on. Just be
open to helping and on the lookout for ways to be of service.
4. Make it really easy for them to support you.
Whether it’s sending a prospect your way, or giving a thumbs-up to your proposal,
you want to make it easy for them to support you. Make yourself available to them
when they reach out. It might not happen often, but when they do reach out, be easy
to work with. Be prompt in your communication and give that little bit extra. Taking
care of people who are not your direct customers is just good business…and it has a
tendency to get back to people who can buy from you.
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Jaime Develops Brand Ambassadors
If he approached this part of his business well, Jaime knew he would be able to justify the
investment of time and energy into his networking. There were a lot of moving parts in his
deals, so if he could strengthen his relationships with any of the players that were involved, it
would help.
When he first thought about the most important people in his network, he was surprised
to realize that they weren’t external professionals, they were internal. Whenever he got to a
certain point in working with a potential client, he would have to engage with his company’s
client-relations team. They would map out how the business process would unfold over time and
bring together the engineers and project managers on both sides of the table. There were a few
key leaders in that department that Jaime hadn’t spent a lot of time with, but if he got to know
them, it could only help.
He also thought about his biggest existing clients, the ones that represented the largest
percentages of his portfolio. Even though he had most of his conversations with the IT
departments, at some point, the finance team would get involved. He had always taken a
relatively defensive posture to prepare for their arrival, but he thought that there were a few key
people that he could reach out to proactively. This was especially critical because he did a lot of
business with their companies and he wanted to be around for a long time.
Looking at the influencers in his industry, he thought of a blogger that he had followed
for the past few years who had carved out a niche as a journalist on all topics Internet of Things
related. He thought that it would be great to connect, so he shot out an email. The worst that
could happen is that the blogger would ignore it. But instead, she returned his message and they
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started an online correspondence. It was great to get her perspective and she shared cutting-edge
information he could use on his sales presentations.
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Tactic 8 – Integrating Your Offline and Online Presence
The process of bringing social media into your sales process is relatively new, but it’s not
going away any time soon. “Social selling” is here to stay. Whether you are a 30-year sales
veteran or millennial saleswoman fresh onto the scene, digital communication is profoundly
altering how you engage and communicate. You better believe it is changing how we buy and
sell. There are a lot of definitions for social selling floating around. This isn’t the book to dive
into all of the nuances of how you should be using digital platforms in your sales and networking
processes, but at the very least you have to pay attention to how your presence online is
integrating with your real-world activities.
These days you can’t hide online. There’s no such thing as a digital ghost. Something
that will be important to consider is the brand message that you are sharing online. This will
have an impact on your sales process as well as your networking. How will people judge you
when they come across your online presence? Will your LinkedIn profile encourage them to
reach out or to take a pass? Will your tweets spark a dialog or leave the person wanting? Should
you even be on these platforms? How can you pick and choose which sites you want to
participate on?
The answers depend on what your overall goals are and how your online presence
interacts with your offline relationships. When we think about using social media for
networking, keep in mind that it hinges on human-to-human communication. Even when you are
connecting with people professionally, you are still connecting with other humans: individuals
who want to connect on an authentic level.
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Social media is a broad spectrum of tools and platforms, and you will use them
differently when you are marketing vs. recruiting vs. selling vs. networking. As far as building a
network of relationships, there are a few key places to leverage social media.
1. You need to have a robust, optimized LinkedIn profile.
It is the preeminent platform for online business networking. When people Google
you, your profile will likely come up on the first page, which means that they’ll click
through and gather their first impressions from what you have (or don’t have) on
LinkedIn. More and more, we are researching the people we engage with before we
reach out, whether it’s for sales or networking. Make sure that what you say on your
LinkedIn profile aligns with what you share in face-to-face conversations.
2. Create a cohesive message.
Use your LinkedIn profile, along with any other online properties, like a Twitter bio
or Pinterest board, to support the story that is shared through your company’s web
presence. When all of these sites align with each other, it reinforces your overall
message. You want to create a passive, self-referential online ecosystem. Passive:
always available for people to view without you actively engaging. Self-referential:
all of the material points to other online information that communicates your brand
message.
3. Focus where you can maintain.
You don’t have to join all of the platforms, but make sure you put time and attention
into any platform that you do join. Whether it’s LinkedIn, Instagram, Pinterest,
Facebook, Snapchat, or the new site du jour, avoid setting up an account that never
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gets used. If there’s a platform that is popular with your network, but you don’t have
the time to use it, create an account with one piece of information: “I don’t spend a lot
of time here. Come visit me at my LinkedIn profile at www.linkedin.com.”
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Jaime Connects His Online and Offline Brands
When you work in a high-tech field it’s embarrassing to realize that your digital footprint
is lacking, but that’s exactly what Jaime had to contend with. He heard more and more about
social media, but he didn’t know how he was supposed to put it into his sales conversations, and
he certainly didn’t know how to put it into his networking relationships. It was easier just to
avoid it and do the bare minimum. But he knew he had to change if he wanted to bring in new
connections…especially because he hadn’t even updated his LinkedIn profile since he had gotten
his new position.
He started by giving some needed attention to his LinkedIn profile. He had always just
looked at it as a resume. Most of his profile copy was left over from when he was looking for a
job and it was full of the sales numbers and statistics that had been important to potential
employers. It didn’t really speak to what he was currently focused on in his position, which was
probably a turn-off for his prospects and networking partners. He spent time rewriting his profile
so that it reflected the ways that he and his firm helped their clients, paying close attention to the
summary and headline. He also updated the photo (which was over five years old). When he
was finished, he had his company put his custom profile URL on his business card so the people
he met offline could find it easily.
Once he had a robust profile, he made sure to connect it with the company website. He
even brought in a paragraph from the company page and added it to his Current Experience
section on LinkedIn. He also added a line to his Twitter bio that referenced his sales position
and added the company URL. Since most of his network would be on these two platforms, he
was comfortable that he had his bases covered and felt a lot more confident in how he was
“showing up” online.
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Tactic 9 - Embracing Social Selling Activities for Networking
Updating your LinkedIn and other social media profiles is an important first step in the
networking process. With just a small investment in time and energy, however, social media
platforms can have a powerful impact on your relationships and the opportunities that arise from
them. Digital tools can be a great way to leverage your message and scale your conversations.
It’s a way to maintain a large number of weak connections over an extended period of time
without being swamped.
In developing an approach to online networking, it can be worthwhile to look at the
approaches that are used in “social selling”. Whether you are building relationships to drive a
sales process forward or create a web of trusted connections, there are important and simple
activities that can create long-term value. You don’t have to spend hours a day on social media
to make this process effective. It’s more important to be strategic and consistent with your
efforts, and there are a few key areas where online activities can help you leverage your time.
1. Replicate your network online.
Social media platforms are a great way to stay in touch with your network, but you
can only do that if you are connected online. Whenever possible, look to have your
online connections mirror your offline connections. Sites like LinkedIn even allow
you to import existing contact lists. You don’t have to keep separate networks. You
can let the offline and online world mix and mingle.
2. Use social media to listen.
Sharing content online is powerful, but listening to your network is just as important a
part of being “social”. Pay attention to what your network is talking about and use
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that information to have better conversations online and offline. Think of the old
adage “you have two ears and one mouth in that proportion for a reason” and apply
that to your online activity.
3. Use social media for research.
One of the biggest complaints about social media is that there is too much
information available and it can be overwhelming. That can certainly be true, but the
flipside is that it’s a great tool to research your networking partners because there is
so much information available. Use their social media profiles, their status updates,
and other online social activity to discover ways that you can help them, and ways
that they could help you.
4. Find new connections.
Digital platforms remove one of the biggest barriers that networkers faced in the past:
geography. Before digital communication, you could only connect with people that
you came into contact with in the course of your daily activities. Now, you can
connect with people around the globe. While you might not want to accept invites
from people you don’t know, it can be worthwhile to approach a few aspirational
connections, i.e. people that you don’t know offline that you would like to have in
your network. This is great chance to connect with people who are in the same
industry or niche that you are, no matter where they are.
5. Share content with your network.
When you have a robust network, and you’ve spent the time developing a strong
foundation, be sure to post material online. You don’t have to limit yourself to
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information about your products and services. You can open the door and share other
relevant information on your areas of interest or expertise, or simply information that
would be of value to your network. The key is to put your message out there in order
to stay on people’s radars and create new connections.
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Jaime Rescues Social from Being a Waste of Time
Once he had spent time optimizing his LinkedIn presence, Jaime realized that he was
missing out on some opportunities to stay in touch with his network. In the past, he had
rationalized his resistance to using social media for business as a way to keep from wasting time.
Now he saw ways to spend time with his network online that would actually lead to more
business opportunities. He still wasn’t completely comfortable using social media with his
clients and prospects, so he could practice his digital activities with his network instead. That
way, if he really screwed up, it wouldn’t hurt his business too much.
He knew that his time would be at a premium so he wanted to focus his online
networking on just a few sites. He decided that LinkedIn would be a good place to start because
Facebook was too personal for his comfort. He also created a Twitter account, but it wasn’t his
main focus area. He started by scheduling two 15-minute blocks of time every week to read
through his LinkedIn newsfeed and “like” a few posts. He thought it would be hard to do, but it
became something that he would do every day when he finished lunch. He also loaded the
LinkedIn and Twitter apps on his phone so that he could use his downtime to do some work
when waiting for clients or for his daughter to get out of ballet class. While he didn’t post much
on Twitter, he had his assistant show him how to create Twitter lists, so that he could just read
the updates from some of the experts in his field.
He had always been interested in industry news, so he decided to start sharing articles
that he thought were relevant to his network. He signed up for Buffer, which helped him parse
out his posts online (he tended to read a lot articles at once and didn’t want to overload his
connections). That way they would get a consistent drip of articles about the Internet of Things,
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digital transformation, software, and business. And every once in a while he would throw in
something about the Muscular Sclerosis Society, where he volunteered. This way, he had a
consistent presence online that kept him top of mind with his network. (For more ideas on how
to share online, see Networking in the 21st Century…on LinkedIn).
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Tactic 10 –Building Manageable Processes
A big obstacle that keeps salespeople from networking effectively is time, or rather, lack
of it. Jam-packed schedules not only keep them from finding and starting relationships, but they
get in the way of cultivating them. As you’ve seen, the biggest networking benefits come from
relationships that are long-term and do require some nurturing. If you are going to be successful
with your long-term follow-up, it’s imperative that you develop an easy to use follow-up system.
Instead of having to re-invent the wheel with every new contact you make, you can let the
process you’ve developed do the work for you.
Whatever system you create, there are a few key elements to keep in mind:
1. It has to be easy.
If each step takes you longer than 2-3 minutes, you aren’t going to execute on it.
Writing down extensive notes on each person you meet at a networking event might
seem great, but if it takes too long to do, you’ll put it off. And then you end up with a
stack of business cards on your desk and a lot of frustration.
2. It has to be integrated.
The best approaches to networking will incorporate activities and tools that you
already use. If you have to learn a new online platform, or buy a fancy gadget, it’s
probably not going to work. For example, if you don’t use Twitter at all, don’t force
it into your follow-up plan
3. It has to make things easier for you.
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The whole point of having a system is to automate the work for you. Whether it
makes your contact list more searchable or brings follow-up reminders to your
attention, you want to unload some of the mental work to your system and
technology. This is how you will be able to maintain your network and still get work
done.
When it’s created correctly, a good networking follow-up system allows you to leverage
your time. By putting in a little effort up front, it helps you in the long run. There are many
ways to structure a successful follow-up process. Here is a possible path:
1. Meet someone at a networking event or through a referral
2. Enter their information in your CRM system
3. Send them a follow-up email the next day saying it was nice to meet them (use a template
for this)
4. Unless there is a reason not to, send an invitation to connect on LinkedIn
5. Put them into one of three “categories”:
a) Schedule a coffee meeting or phone call with them
b) Create a reminder to touch base with them in 1-6 months
c) No follow-up needed
6. After coffee meetings and phone calls, send a 2-4 sentence hand-written note
7. Post 2-3 status updates a week on LinkedIn about client successes and other industry-
related information
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8. Every Thursday, send an email, LinkedIn message, or tweet to the people who popped up
on your “contact every 1-6 months” list (or just call them)
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Jaime’s Follow-Up Process
Follow-up. Now here was something that Jaime already had in place. Some days it
seemed that all he did was check in with prospects and clients. Adding this in for his networking
partners wouldn’t be a huge shift.
The first step was to bring them into his “pipeline”. Even though his networking partners
weren’t on the road to being clients, he knew that if he had a way to bring them into his process,
then he would have a way to keep in touch with them over time. He already had an effective
CRM in place; he just had to expand who he tracked in it. He created a new category that was
specifically for people he wanted to build relationships with who were not in the prospect or
client bucket. He then made sure that when he met someone new, he would enter them into the
system (with his handy business card reader). He would reach out on LinkedIn to invite them
into his network, and he would include a customized “nice to meet you” message. He also
created an email template that he could use to reach out to them if he didn’t have a chance to
connect through social media.
He wanted to make sure that he was having conversations with people on an on-going
basis, but he didn’t want to add in another hurdle that he would have to track down. He decided
that he would set a reminder to reach out to each contact either 1 month, 2 months, or 6 months
after he had met them, depending on the level of connection he had created. At the very least, he
would just send them a personalized email. Even just a few lines to say hello and stay connected
would be better than nothing. He would do all of his follow-up on Friday after lunch – it was a
slower time and it would be more fun (and probably more effective) than trying to hammer out
any last minute prospecting calls for the week.
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Tactic 11 - Connect These Tactics to Your Larger Goals
We’ve only unpacked a few of the tactics from Networking in the 21st Century, but you
now have a solid foundation for moving forward. There’s over 20 more that you can still dive
into! The most important thing to remember when networking: be intentional. Too often,
professionals throw their networking energy around willy-nilly, and have little to see for it.
Haphazard networking creates haphazard results. At the beginning of the book, we looked at a
simple definition of networking:
Networking is building a web of relationships with others for mutual support in finding
business solutions.
We started with that definition because I wanted you to be able to connect the strategies
and tactics with your overall networking goals. It’s the same reason we started the tactics section
by creating a networking plan; it helps to create a framework for all of your activity. My goal in
writing this book was to relate a few of the strategies and tactics I cover in Nit21C to the real-life
scenarios that we encounter as sales professionals. It’s not meant to be comprehensive, but
rather it’s designed to give you a place to start your journey.
To understand the larger context on why you’ve been struggling to build your network up
to this point, I encourage you to get a copy of Nit21C (it’ll be worth it, I promise). More
importantly, you’ll also find more information there on how to improve your network, including
key strategies such as:
1. Learning how you can succeed at networking whether you are an extrovert or an
introvert.
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2. Finding out about the key role that personal development plays in your networking.
3. Understanding how your brain is wired to work against building a large network and
how to change your approach to set yourself up for success.
You’ll also learn more tactics, including how to:
1. Have a conversation with anyone, anytime.
2. Network with your competition.
3. Reach out to ask for help comfortably and easily.
4. Ask questions to uncover new business opportunities.
5. Begin and end conversations at events.
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Concluding Thoughts
When I speak to audiences, I often finish by showing a picture of a field of ripe wheat,
and I talk about the approach that farmers take to growing crops. They don’t plant a seed and
then come back the next day expecting a full-grown harvest. They understand that it’s a process
that starts with the seeds, but requires cultivation and attention over time to see the true benefits.
Reading about networking without taking action would be like a farmer reading about
growing crops. It doesn’t create results by itself. You have to take action. You have to plant
seeds and then nourish what you’ve planted. You can have a fertile field of people to engage
with. You just need the faith of the farmer who knows that there will be a payoff in the end. The
more effort you put in now, the more rewards you can reap in the future.
So now it’s back on you – what are you going to do with this information? The fate of
your career now, and in the future, is in your hands. There are many things in life and business
that you don’t control, but your activities are one of things that you do. I wish you the best of
luck.
Happy Networking!
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Additional Resources
You can get your print, digital, or audio copy of Networking in the 21st Century:
Why Your Network Sucks and What to Do About It on Amazon.com:
Get it Here!
Another popular book from the series is Networking in the 21st Century…on LinkedIn. It is
filled with ideas on how to improve your online networking and it’s also on Amazon.com:
Learn LinkedIn!
Visit the exclusive home page for the readers of this book at:
Sales Professional Networking
It’s full of tools and tips for making networking a valuable part of your professional life. If you
have any questions for me, or networking ideas that I missed, I’d love to hear from you!
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About the Author
David J.P. Fisher lives in Evanston, Illinois, next to a beautiful cemetery, which acts as a
reminder every morning to not take life for granted (and be on the lookout for zombies). He is an
entrepreneur, coach, salesman, writer, meditator, marketer, musician, podcast, son, friend,
brother, slam poet, clairvoyant, comedian, salsa dancer, lover of life, teller of bad jokes, yoga
enthusiast, and an average cook—as long as it’s pancakes or hummus.
Known as D. Fish to everyone (except his mom), he is a sought-after speaker, author, and
business coach. His first full-length book, Networking in the 21st Century: Why Your Network
Sucks and What to Do About It, and its companion book series, have all been Amazon best-
sellers. His passion for growth and development has allowed him to influence thousands of
others during his professional career. As the current president of RockStar Consulting, he helps
individuals become RockStars both offline and online by building their networking, sales, and
entrepreneurial skills.
You can find him online at all the usual places:
Website: www.iamdfish.com
Linkedin: www.linkedin.com/in/iamdfish
Twitter: @dfishrockstar
Stop by and say hello!
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Acknowledgments
The first thank you as always goes to you the reader. There are a lot of things you could
do with your time, and I’m honored that you gave me a bit of your attention.
I’ve had many mentors on my sales journey, and Adam Stock, Mike Muriel, and Danny
Lewis all taught me how to sell by building great relationships…which made the transition to
networking even simpler. My early days selling Cutco knives continue to influence me and my
career, and I learned so much by hanging out with amazing salespeople like Jamie Zimbroff,
Sheryl Stahura, Katie Fingerhut, Demian Scopp, Mishelle Zeyda, Matt Long, Lukasz Wojcik,
and so many more.
Debbie O’Byrne created yet another awesome cover.
Colette, Chrissie, Amy, Rob, Brian, Joe, and all of my other friends continue to be a
fantastic network!
And Helen, thank you for being the best demanding flower, dainty trucker, whining
burrito, and partner I could ask for.