Negotiation and Conflict Resolution

Presented by: Victoria Hargan

MA Forensic Psychology2007Presented By:

Amanda Hassing, Rose Velasco, and Victoria Hargan

GETTING PAST NO: DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE

OVERVIEW

GETTING READY

What is Negotiation? Breaking through barriers to cooperation Prepare, Prepare, Prepare

USING THE BREAKTHROUGH STRATEGY

Go to the Balcony Step to their side Reframe Build them a golden bridge Use power to Educate

CONCLUSION

WHAT IS NEGOTIATION?

Communication aimed at reaching agreement w/others when some interests are shared & some are not.

Informal activity engaged in whenever one tries to get something one wants from another person.

PREPARE, PREPARE, PREPARE

WHEN TO PREPARE: Before After Again to adapt strategies

Bottom line: PREPARE, PREPARE, PREPARE!!

USING THE BREAKTHROUGH STRATEGYDON’T REACT: GO TO THE BALCONY

DEFINE “GO TO THE BALCONY”

Thinking before reacting

Stepping back, collecting wits, & seeing objectively

Distancing oneself from natural impulses & emotions

USING THE BREAKTHROUGH STRATEGY

DON’T REACT: GO TO THE BALCONY

3 NATURAL REACTIONS (TO AVOID)

Striking Back – Fighting “fire with fire”

Giving In – Being done with it

Breaking Off – i.e., Getting a divorce, quitting a job, or dissolving relationship

USING THE BREAKTHROUGH STRATEGY

DON’T REACT: GO TO THE BALCONY

3 TACTICS USED FOR REACTION

Stone Walls – No Budging

Attacks – Pressure tactic; used to intimidate

Tricks – Fool you into giving in

USING THE BREAKTHROUGH STRATEGY

DON’T REACT: GO TO THE BALCONY

BUYING TIME TO THINK

Pause & Say Nothing – Helps both parties cool down

Rewind the Tape – Review the discussion

Take a Time Out – Take a break

Don’t Make Important Decisions on the Spot – Sleep on it

Don’t Get Mad, Don’t Get Even, Get What You Want –

Control your own behavior!

USING THE BREAKTHROUGH STRATEGY

DON'T ARGUE: STEP TO THE OTHER SIDE

WHAT TO DO:

Listen actively

Give other side a hearing

Paraphrase & ask for corrections

Acknowledge their point

Acknowledge their feelings

Offer an apology

Project confidence

USING THE BREAKTHROUGH STRATEGYDON'T ARGUE: STEP TO THE OTHER SIDE

WHAT TO DO (CONT’D):

Agree wherever you can

Agree w/o conceding

Accumulate yeses

Tune into their wavelength

Acknowledge the person

Acknowledge their authority & competence

Build working relationship

Express your views w/o provoking

USING THE BREAKTHROUGH STRATEGYDON'T ARGUE: STEP TO THE OTHER SIDE

OTHER TIPS:

Say “yes……and”, not “but”

Make “I” statements, not “you” statements

Stand up for yourself

Acknowledge differences with optimism

Create favorable climate for negotiation

USING THE BREAKTHROUGH STRATEGY DON’T REJECT: REFRAME

WHAT TO ASK:

Problem Solving Questions

Why?

Why not?

What if?

Their advice?

What makes that fair?

USING THE BREAKTHROUGH STRATEGY DON’T REJECT: REFRAME

WHAT TO DO:

Change the game by changing the frame

Tap the power of silence

Make your Q’s open-ended

USING THE BREAKTHROUGH STRATEGY DON’T REJECT: REFRAME

REFRAME TACTICS

Go around stone walls- example of stone walls include: The opponent taking an extreme position.

Tells you “Take it or leave it” Sets a rigid deadline

Ignore stone walls

Reinterpret stone walls as aspiration

Take stone walls seriously, but don’t test them

USING THE BREAKTHROUGH STRATEGY

DON’T REJECT: REFRAMEDEFLECT ATTACKS

Ignore attacks

Reframe attacks on you as attacks on problem

Reframe personal attacks as friendly

Reframe from past wrongs to future remedies- Ask “How do we make sure it never happens again?” Reframe the blame as joint responsibility for tackling the problem.“ (Ury).

Reframe from “you” & “me” to “we- "“We” creates a side-by-side stance, drawing attention to common interests and shared goals.“(Ury)

USING THE BREAKTHROUGH STRATEGY DON’T REJECT: REFRAME

EXPOSE TRICKS

Ask clarifying Q’s

Make a reasonable request-put them to the test

Turn trick to your advantage

USING THE BREAKTHROUGH STRATEGY DON’T REJECT: REFRAME

BRING IT UP If your opponent is using tactics that you’re aware of;

bring it up.

Calling them liars or cheats does not make them more receptive to the problem-solving process.

Make light of the tactic.

USING THE BREAKTHROUGH STRATEGY

DON’T REJECT: REFRAME

NEGOTIATE ABOUT THE NEGOTIATION

If your opponent continues to use stone walls, attacks, and tricks negotiate about the negotiation

Two negotiations factors

Negotiation about substance: the terms and conditions, dollars and cents.

Negotiation about the rules of the game. How is the negotiation to be conducted.

USING THE BREAKTHROUGH STRATEGY

DON’T REJECT: REFRAME

THE TURNING POINT

Change the game from positional bargaining to joint problem-solving.

Reframing will turn a positional confrontation into a problem-solving negotiation.

USING THE BREAKTHROUGH STRATEGY DON'T PUSH: BUILD THEM A GOLDEN

BRIDGE

Obstacles to agreement

Build a Golden Bridge

Involve the other side

Ask for & build on their ideas

Ask for constructive criticism

Offer them a choice

Satisfy unmet interests

Don’t dismiss them as irrational

Don’t overlook basic human needs

USING THE BREAKTHROUGH STRATEGY DON'T PUSH: BUILD THEM A GOLDEN BRIDGE

Building a golden bridge means making it easier for the other side to surmount the four common obstacles to agreement. (Ury)

It means actively involving them in devising a solution so that it becomes their idea, not just yours.

It means satisfying their unmet interests. It means helping them save face It means making the process of negotiation as easy as

possible.

USING THE BREAKTHROUGH STRATEGY DON'T PUSH: BUILD THEM A GOLDEN BRIDGE

DON’T ASSUME A FIXED PIE

Look for low-cost, high-benefit trades Identify items you could give the other side that are high

benefit to them, but low cost to you On the flip side, seek items that are of high benefit to

you, but low cost to them. Use an if-then formula

USING THE BREAKTHROUGH STRATEGY

DON'T PUSH: BUILD THEM A GOLDEN BRIDGE

HELP THEM SAVE FACE Help them back away w/o

backing down

Show how circumstances have changed

Ask for 3rd party recommendation

Point to standard of fairness

Go slow to go fast

Guide them step by step

Don’t ask for a final commitment until end

Don’t rush to the finish

Across the bridge

USING THE BREAKTHROUGH STRATEGY DON'T ESCALATE: USE POWER TO EDUCATE

Use power to bring them to their senses, not their knees

Let them know the consequences

Let reality be their teacher

USING THE BREAKTHROUGH STRATEGY DON’T ESCALATE: USE POWER TO EDUCATE

THE 3 MOST REALITY TESTING QUESTIONS

What do you think will happen if we don’t agree?

What do you think I will do?

What will you do?

USING THE BREAKTHROUGH STRATEGY

DON’T ESCALATE: USE POWER TO EDUCATE

WARN, DON’T THREATEN

Demonstrate your BATNA

Use your BATNA, Defuse their reaction

Deploy your BATNA w/o provoking

Use min. power

Use legitimate means

Neutralize their attacks

REMEMBER: Power contest is a 2-way street!

USING THE BREAKTHROUGH STRATEGY

DON’T ESCALATE: USE POWER TO EDUCATE

TAP THE THIRD FORCE

Build a coalition

Use 3rd parties to stop attacks

Use 3rd parties to promote negotiation

USING THE BREAKTHROUGH STRATEGY

DON’T ESCALATE: USE POWER TO EDUCATE

KEEP SHARPENING THEIR CHOICE

Let them know they have a way out

Let them choose

Even when you can win, negotiate

Forge a lasting agreement

Keep implementation in mind

Design the deal to minimize your risks

Build in a dispute resolution procedure

USING THE BREAKTHROUGH STRATEGY REAFFIRM THE RELATIONSHIP

Aim for mutual satisfaction, not victory

Gracious words & symbolic gestures helpful

Be generous at very end

Resist temptation to fight over last crumb

If appropriate, organize celebration for both sides

CONCLUSION:TURNING ADVERSARIES INTO

PARTNERS

Always respect your opponent

Change environment, not opponent’s mind

Identify both party’s BATNAs

Win them over, not win over them

Patience & persistent = successful negotiator

TH

E E

ND

REFERENCES

Ury, W. Getting Past No; Negotiating in

Difficult Situations. NY. Bantam Books