Negotiating With Difficult People Part One
-
Upload
victoria-pynchon -
Category
Business
-
view
17.788 -
download
0
description
Transcript of Negotiating With Difficult People Part One
Negotiating with Difficult PeopleNegotiating with Difficult PeopleVictoria Pynchon, ADR Services, IncVictoria Pynchon, ADR Services, Inc..
Businesses do not have legal problems
Only lawyers have legal problems
Businesses have business problems
With People concerns
And Justice Issues
Why do people seek the services of
Injustices that the law will rectify are dwarfed by the injustices it will not.
We generally consider non-actionable injustices to be frivolous claims.
The parties’ complaints almost always include non-actionable injustices which laws, rules, standards, best practices, policies, procedures, and even folkways cannot address.
World of
Injustice
Injustices the law will remedy
Relative Benefits v.
Absolute Numbers
• distributive justice, or the perceived fairness of outcomes
• procedural justice, or the perceived fairness of the procedures by which outcomes are determined
• interactional justice, the perceived fairness of the nuances of interpersonal treatment.
• We identify rights and responsibilities
• transform (nip, tuck, spin, frame, highlight, downplay, flatten) narratives of injustice into actionable causes of action
• monetize those injustices• sharpen the differences
between “our” story and our “opponent’s” story
• ask a third party (judge, arbitrator, jury) to choose a “side.
• Translate victories and defeats on the legal field of combat into a narrative our clients can understand
THE BASICS OF CONFLICT
“Time is what keeps everything
from happening at once”
Stephen Hawking
Conflict is a
Perceived divergence of interests or the belief that the current aspirations of the
parties cannot be simultaneously met
Scarce Resources• Contending
• Shirley Jackson’s “Lottery”• Logan’s Run• Strong survive/weak die
• Problem solving– Hunting/gathering to
agriculture/husbandry– Farming/hunting to
industry– Industry to technology– Material (steel, cars,
trains, planes) to Immaterial (knowledge)
“Innovate, don’t litigate (contend)” Jonathan Schwartz, CEO Sun Microsystems
Persuasion Exercise
• Object of the game– Get your partner to come
over to your side of the line
– The winners will each will $1.00
Relative deprivation
Injurious Event
Perceptions
Self interest/desireOther interest/desire
Conflict’s Source
ResourcesValues
Dispute = Immediate Manifestation of Conflict
NamingBlamingClaiming
Tactics
YieldingAvoiding
Contending
Problem Solving
Tit for TatStart niceBe ProvokableBe Forgiving
Tactics
Yielding/AvoidingNegative for yielder
Nothing changes for other
in a blind approach for landing through clouds where the first officer is convinced that the plane is heading against solid mountain rock all he says is “I am not sure if we have established our gliding path with necessary precision”.
Malcolm Gladwell, Outliers
Contentious TacticsIngratiation & gamesmanshipThreat, promises & arguments
ShamingCoercive Commitments
Physical Violence
Win-loseResolution unstable
Problem SolvingSatisfies some of both parties’
interestsResolution is stable
Malcolm Gladwell, Outliers
End of Part I