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Negotiating Effectively: What’s So Hard?

UM Women in Surgery SessionMay 8, 2018

Janet Dombrowski, PresidentJCD Advisors

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Negotiation/Negotiate •  Noun–  mutual discussion and arrangement of the terms of a

transaction or agreement

•  Verb–  obtain or bring about by discussion–  find a way over or through (an obstacle)

•  Not always a formal process

•  Small interactions/opportunities to practice each day

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Why Focus on Negotiation?

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©2017jcdadvisorshttps://womenintheworkplace.com/ReportbyMcKinseyandLeanIn.com2016

The Backlash is Real

Despite lobbying for promotions as often as men, women on average are less likely to be promoted.

Women are negotiating as often as men—but face pushback when they do

The good news is that women are negotiating for promotions and

raises as often as men, and it appears to be paying off. For example,

women who lobby for a promotion are 54 percent more likely to report

getting one than women who don’t.

The bad news is that women who negotiate10 are disproportionately

penalized for it. They are 30 percent more likely than men who

negotiate to receive feedback that they are “intimidating,” “too

aggressive,” or “bossy” and 67 percent more likely than women who

don’t negotiate to receive the same negative feedback. Moreover,

despite lobbying for promotions at similar rates, women are on average

less likely to be promoted than men.

HOW OFTEN WOMEN AND MEN NEGOTIATE—AND THE RESULTING PUSHBACK11 WOMEN MEN

% OF WOMEN AND MEN WHO . . .

39%36%

Lobbied for a promotion or new

assignment12

29%27%

Asked for an increase in compensation12

30

23

“BOSSY” “AGGRESSIVE”

“INTIMIDATING”

30%

23%

% OF WOMEN AND MEN WHO NEGOTIATED AND RECEIVED FEEDBACK THAT THEY WERE . . .

10 Women who say they lobbied for a promotion or an increase in their compensation in the last two years. 11 Based on employees’ self-reported experiences. 12 In the past 2 years.

12 | WOMEN IN THE WORKPLACE: EMPLOYEE EXPERIENCES

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Why Focus on Getting Better at Negotiation?

•  Stereotypes

•  Not part of Med School curriculum

•  Opportunities in Residency??

•  Crosby Grant interviews

•  Just in time learning!

•  Others?

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Action Steps for Effective Negotiation HANDOUT

•  Take stock•  Do your homework•  Set goals•  Consider your BATNA•  Appreciate THEIR situation•  Create proposal(s)•  Anticipate challenges

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1. Take Stock (Start from the Inside Out)

•  What’s Your WHY – compelling purpose, personal vision

•  Strengths and contributions; unique “selling” proposition

•  Vulnerabilities (in experience, approach)

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2. Do Your Homework

•  What is negotiable?

•  Benchmarking – position, geography, type of organization

•  Understanding the other party (organization, individual)

•  Inquire – of whom?

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3. Set Goals

•  Your professional interests

•  Your personal needs

•  Any “non-starters” or “must haves”

•  Best outcome possible

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4. Clarify your BATNA (Best Alternative to Negotiated Agreement)

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5. Appreciate THEIR Situation

•  What might be the other party’s needs?

•  Can you mitigate any of those needs without compromising your position?

•  Can you demonstrate empathy?

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6. Create a Proposal(s)

•  Prepare at least two proposals (written down)– Key elements to be negotiated

– Different mix of priority

– Alternative approaches

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7. Anticipate Challenges

•  What might resistance look like?

•  How can you anticipate resistance and how will you respond?

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Contract Evaluation Exercise

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Contract Evaluation Exercise •  Do you have any questions? Concerns?

•  Would you accept this contract?

– WHY?

– WHY NOT?

•  What would you negotiate?

– WHY?

– HOW?

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What Came Up for You in the Discussions?

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Being Even More Effective Requires More than Learning New Skills

Conditioned Thinking Mindset

Behaviors/Skillset

Results/Outcomes

Experiences Insights

Visible (to ourselves & others)

Invisible/Unknown (to ourselves & others)

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Goal - Challenge Your Mind Set about Negotiation

SELF AWARENESS u INTENTIONALITY u CHOICE

Conditioned Thinking Mindset

Behaviors/Skillset

Results/Outcomes

Experiences Insights

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“Womenoftensufferfromtiarasyndrome–weworkhardandwaitforsomeonetoplaceatiaraonourhead…

Intoday’senvironment,wecannotwaitforsomeonetonoticehardworkorrewarditappropriately.Wemustnegotiatetheconditionsforourownsuccess.”

CarolFrohlinger

PrincipalatNegotiatingWomenInc.Co-authorofHerPlaceattheTable

MINDSET EXAMPLE

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“How Women Rise: 12 Habits Holding You Back from Your Next Raise, Promotion or Job”

1.  Reluctance to claim your achievements2.  Expecting others to spontaneously notice and reward your

contributions3.  Overvaluing expertise4.  Just building rather than building and leveraging relationships5.  Failing to enlist allies from day one6.  Putting your job before your career7.  The perfection trap8.  The disease to please9.  Minimizing10.  Too much11.  Ruminating12.  Letting your radar distract you

"HowWomenRise"-bySallyHelgesenandMarshallGoldsmith,2018

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“Leadership belongs to those

who take it.”

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Some Things that Influence Women’s Mindsets in Negotiation

1.  Fear of backlash

2.  Traditional gender schemas

3.  Warmth v. competence conundrum

4.  Confidence/”Imposter Syndrome”

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2. Fight Gender Schemas: Leverage Our Strengths

•  Expressing concern and appreciation•  Drawing on common interests•  Approaching the negotiation as a

problem- solving task•  Combine niceness with insistence be

“RELENTLESSLY PLEASANT” - Mary Sue Coleman

Former UM President

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3. Walking the “Thin Pink Line”

COMPETENCE

WAR

MTH

HILO

LO

HI

ActiveEngagement

ActiveHarm

PassiveHarm

PassiveSupport

ConnectthenLead,byAmyJ.C.Cuddy,MatthewKohut,andJohnNeffingerHBRJuly–August2013

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4. Managing Imposter Syndrome: Creating Confidence…

•  Perfectionism •  Need to be “right”/good •  Risk aversion •  Apologetic

•  OK with mistakes •  Compassion •  Ownership of success •  Humility

•  Less assertive •  Downplay or mis-

attribute successes •  Overwork to “prevent”

failure

•  Be assertive •  Make accomplishments

visible •  Stay in connection with

others

Men

tal M

odel

s B

ehav

iors

“OLD” “NEW”

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...Claiming Effectiveness

Gender and Perceptions of Leadership Effectiveness: A Meta-Analysis of Contextual Moderators

Samantha C. Paustian-Underdahl Lisa Slattery Walker and David J. Woe Journal of Applied Psychology 2014, Vol. 99, No. 6, 1129–1145

Overall Org. Type Level

COMBINED SELF

rated significantly

more effective

No difference

rated significantly

more effective in lower level

Overall no difference

better in business better in gov’t

better in middle management

OTHERS

better

better in business & education

better in

middle & upper management

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Negotiation RESULTS by Gender

Where good information is available on the criteria upon which decisions are made

With clear information, women get BETTER

results than men when…

NEGOTIATINGONBEHALF

OFSOMEONEELSERATHERTHANFORTHEMSELVES

NODIFFERENCE

Bowles,HannahRiley,LindaBabcock,andKathleenL.McGinn."Constraintsandtriggers:situationalmechanicsofgenderinnegotiation."JournalofPersonalityandSocialPsychology89.6(2005):951

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SUMMARY – Some Shifts in Negotiation

•  Fear of & protection from backlash

•  Compare only to women, not men

•  Lack of ‘entitlement effect’

•  Negotiate with others (team/family) in mind

•  Think personally, act communally

•  Know what you really value

•  Stepping back/backing down

•  Less assertive in starting positions

•  Draw on all your sources of knowledge and influence

•  Use objective measures •  Anchor to wage gap

Men

tal M

odel

s B

ehav

iors

“OLD” “NEW”

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SUMMARY Sharpen Your Skill Set Challenge Your Mindset

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Resources •  “Negotiation Strategies for Women”, Harvard Law

School, Program on Negotiation, 2013 pon.harvard.edu/publications/

•  Connect then Lead, by Amy J.C. Cuddy, Matthew Kohut, and John Neffinger

•  HBR July –August 2013•  Bowles, Hannah Riley, Linda Babcock, and Kathleen L.

McGinn. "Constraints and triggers: situational mechanics of gender in negotiation." Journal of personality and social psychology 89.6 (2005): 951.

•  https://womenintheworkplace.com/ Report by McKinsey and LeanIn.com (2016)

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