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Naval Safety Center Photo of the Week Favorites from the Caption Contest Well, you dont expect me to eat in the woods, too, do you? Slide 2 Wait Til I Get My Hands on That Recruiter! Hey, how are those new glasses working out? Couldn't I just peel potatoes like the rest of my buddies? How to become an Army of None. Why am I suddenly hungry for an apple? And you think your job sucks. I really need to get promoted. Slide 3 Last stopeveryone off! Now we'll demonstrate the new emergency evacuation device. Everybody lean left! Upon arriving at their favorite bar, members of Delta Chi quietly exit their vehicle. This is what I hate about economy class. Slide 4 Talk About an Overview How that new Airbus takes off. If you want to merge, please use the ramp. Ladies and gentlemen, please be careful as you exit the busthe first step is a doozy! I meant your other left. But my GPS said I could get on the freeway from here. Slide 5 Gesundheit! I knew I had to practice parallel parking more. Pilot: Now if you look out the right window, you will see the LA Aqueduct. Tower, I need clearance for ditch 13. Any landing you can walk away from is a good one. Did that landing seem a little rough? Slide 6 This Was Where They Wanted Them, Right? Ahh, so that's what that lever's for. Pardon me, do you have any Grey Poupon? They sure dont make tail gates like they used to! Hey, toss me a few bricks, I need to fill the cab and balance the load. Slide 7 Learning to Share My instincts, or my ORM training Hmmm. Why dogs beg for table scraps. Im going back to bed. See? I licked it. It's mine now! Slide 8 Not Only That, They're in Disguise The Bear Crossing scares the vandals away so they stop shooting our signs. No, honey, I think they are saying that if the deer are running, a bear is coming. I new I shuld have used spll chek. And they're driving tractors, too! Slide 9 At Least the Scooter Is O.K. Bart and Homer make a dash for the couch. What happened when Frank told his wife that she couldnt drive the Ferrari. Honey, I had to fire the chauffeur.... and then it got weird. What monster-truck drivers do when on their day off. So that's where little cars come from! Slide 10 Multitasking Gone Haywire "Of course I'm wearing my helmet! What kind of idiot do you think I am?" "Hello, is this the Emergency room? Do you take reservations?" "Hey, Mom! They took off the training wheels today!" "Hello? Yeah, I need some motorcycle insurance..." "Honey... where did you say the throttle was again"? Slide 11 Helmet--Check. Jacket--Check. Email--Check. This isn't my fault, my boss said to stay in contact with the office 24-7. Cool, my car just sent me an email. Coming up, the first Facebook face-plant. Microsoft's new Windows upgrade "Windshield" is getting some good reviews, but it still crashes periodically. Hmmm, let's see, www/whatsthedumbestthingIcando.com." Slide 12 Mr. and Mrs. Ballast Go To Town Dear, lean out a little fartherIm going to make a left. "They loaded up the tractor and moved to Beverly... Hills, that is." Hey! Excuse me, but did you see a front tractor tire rolling down the street? She said we needed to spend more time together. Yes, I'm buying this tractor on the installment plannext month, I get the right front fender. Slide 13 What, Me Worry? OK, guys, this is really cool and I'm only going to show you once. When I stick my tongue on this wire, watch where the fire shoots from. From his wife on the ground: "Honey? Why don't we just go with satellite instead?" Utility company's campaign slogan: "Doing our part to keep costs down." Darn, I forgot to take off my watch. Slide 14 Going with the Floe I'm going to kill my travel agent. Sorry I'm late honey, but you'll never guess what happened. This is the last time I buy Alaskan cruise tickets on a discount website Just as he thought the day couldnt get any worse, he heard the sounds of a waterfall. Meet the winner survivor of Survivor 29, Ice Island. Slide 15 The World's Worst Paint Shaker Why painters shouldn't go off-roading during their lunch breaks. The special effects vehicle for "Exorcist 4." Maybe Dad won't notice. Mr. Bean paints his SUV. Some men will do anything to get out of working around the house. Slide 16 Honey, the dogs in heat again! Why they lock their doors in Florida. Oh, what I'd give for opposable thumbs right now. Are you sure this isn't Steve Irwin's house? Come on out, Hook, I know you're in there. Slide 17 Why You Shouldn't Carry Fish in your Pockets Dang! Dropped my keys! The guy everybody had to run faster than. Chinese Fire Drill, Yukon-style. The one time you hope you forgot to lock the car door. Lunch on the go. Slide 18 How Wide Did You Say Our Van Was? Beam us up, Scotty, and don't forget the van. Hey, did you remember to leave pole seven for last? How long did you say it took this concrete to set? What was that conversion from centimeters to inches again? Slide 19 I'm Only Going to Be a Minute How is a Beemer like a hose caddy? Finally, a punishment that fits the crime. I've got to find a better place to park the getaway car. BMW really stands for "Break My Windows No problem, Admiral, I found you a great parking place. Slide 20 I Think I Found That Sinkhole Oh sure, let's take the backhoe mudding. This is another fine mess you've gotten me into! I know I dropped it around here somewhere. Much as the English-French Chunnel project suffered setbacks, so has the U.S.-China "Through-the-Center-of-the-Earth" Tunnel. Last year I planted a nut and bolt. I think I can, I think I can, I think....dang! Slide 21 Tonight's Top Story: Railroad-Crossing Hazards Don't worry, we're just having a little fun with this guy. There is no train. We're the ones controlling the lights and the gates. What do you mean, we have to wait? Everyone else is crossing. and when he passes me the baton, it's my turn. Hi, I'm Langley Green, welcome to "Jackass." Slide 22 You Shouldve Seen What Happened to #47 Well, it's not upside down in Australia. And they said it couldn't be done! Dang it Joe, look what you didyou left the lights on! The class prank at the 20-year reunion of the Engineering School. Isn't there an easier way to change the tires? This is better than cow tippin'! Slide 23 Hey, Chief, It's Your Turn to Do the Preflight You'd smile too, if you were on his side of the window. Who ordered these new replacements for the guard dogs? Oh, so thats why they call this the Cobra. I've got it-I'll charm him with my smile. Slide 24 Getting Back at Your Construction Supervisor Now if I could just get some freakin sharks with lasers, my truck would be theft-proof! I can get it out. Ill need some thin plywood and a flimsy ladder or two. Dear Post Office, I'm requesting a new zip code. Here is the map of the town. I can parallel park anywhere, 20 bucks--anybody taking the bet? Why you never ever make the guy with the back hoe angry. Slide 25 Visit the Naval Safety Center website Safety Tips, Photo of the Week, the Summary of Mishaps and more! www.public.navy.mil/navsafecen