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Charity No: SC009963 JUNE 2017

NAIRN UNITED REFORMED CHURCH

CHRONICLE

For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgement, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you. Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. We have different gifts, according to the grace given us. Romans 12 3-6

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Hello Everyone!! For me this has been a very busy month! It’s strange how the world seems to wake up suddenly from the quiet months of winter and bursts into bloom in the spring! I suppose it is the same for everyone. We have been busy in the garden, and we have also redecorated the kitchen. I remember as a child my own mother doing her “spring cleaning” when the good weather came again. Perhaps now is the time for us all to “spring clean” our hearts and souls and make a really big effort to follow Christ more diligently. We tend to get stuck in a rut and forget about others when we are so busy tending to our own duties. There are many lonely people out there, who are unable to keep themselves busy due to aging, illness and disability. Perhaps we could share some of our spare time with them? Just a little thought as we look forward to a summer full of sunshine!! Virginia Innes (Babity)

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………………………..WHAT IS FAITH?

Faith is a belief in the trustworthiness of an idea that has not been proven, that is the

explanation according to the encyclopaedia.

Faith, in the Christian context is directed towards the Son of God, Jesus Christ.

In the limited English language, like love, we can have faith in many things. We can

have faith in God or faith in a chair. Faith is trust that someone or something will live

up to the promises it makes. We have faith that when we step off a pavement the

street is only a few inches down. We have faith in the other drivers on the road that

they will follow the law and stay on their side of the white line.

We have faith in the promise God made to offer up his Son for our sake, which was

made true in Jesus Christ.

Faith for us begins with encounter with the living God, the God whose purposes are

being fulfilled as the story of salvation continues to unfold, but most importantly the

God who reveals himself in the ministry, the life, death and resurrection of Christ. For

us, it is this event that stands at the centre of all history.

“Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not

see.” (Hebrews 11:1; New International Version)

Yours in the Lord Jesus Christ

Derek

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BUT WHAT DO YOU SEE WHEN YOU LOOK AT ME?

What do you see, nurse, who do you see? Are you thinking when you look at me:

A crabbit old woman, not very wise,

Uncertain of habit with faraway eyes; Who seems not to notice the things that you do,

And always is losing a stocking or shoe? Is that what you’re thinking? Is that who you see? Then open your eyes nurse – you’re not seeing me.

I’ll say who I am as I sit here so still,

As I move at your bidding, and eat at your will, Inside this old carcase, a young girl still dwells, And now and again, my battered heart swells.

I remember the joys, I remember the pain, And I’m loving and living life over again.

I think of the years, all too few, gone too fast, And accept the stark fact that nothing can last.

So open your eyes, nurse, open and see, Not a crabbit old woman – look closer, see me!!

Inserted by Alice Smith

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AFTERNOON TEA Monday the 15th May saw the Pastoral visitors providing an afternoon tea for 40 people.

The tea was enjoyed by everyone who was able to attend. Apart from enjoying a wonderful afternoon tea people were catching up with friends and acquaintances who they had not seen for some time. They were entertained by Jimmy Urqhart on the accordion who played Scottish tunes enabling them to have a good sing-a-long. We have some wonderful bakers within our Church and many of them contributed to the afternoon tea.

I would like to say how grateful I am to the Pastoral visitors. Not only for helping prepare the tea and clearing up afterwards but for going that extra mile making sure that people were taxied to and from the Church.

The visitors have made a difference to so many people and it was good to see that they were able to encourage so many to attend. Angela Quinn

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<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><> This is too funny - but I suspect the minister didn't appreciate it. A minister was completing a temperance sermon. With great emphasis he said, 'If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river.' With even greater emphasis he said, 'And if I had all the wine in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river.' And then finally, shaking his fist in the air, he said, 'And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river.' Sermon complete, he sat down... The song leader stood very cautiously and announced with a smile, nearly laughing, 'For our closing song, let us sing Hymn 365, 'Shall We Gather at the River.'

Smile - life is too short not to!!

Inserted by Sheena Main

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Sodom and Gomorrah

with the

Rev Dr John Langtocher

“How are you, John?”

‘I am in a terrible fix. I have been asked to speak to the Guild about

Sodom and Gomorrah. Doom and destruction is a hopeless topic for a

lively address.”

“I agree. God’s wrath is not easy to manage amongst pots of tea and

cucumber sandwiches. Can’t you change the subject?”

“They’ve put it in the programme. But no one I know has ever been

turned into a pillar of salt. Nor is there any record of this in Scottish

history, so far as I recollect. Not even for the most obstinate woman. We

must believe it, but …”

“Have you read the latest archeological research? That along with

modern theology can provide you with clues. But start with Abraham

negotiating with God over Sodom. It is a textbook example of how to get

the best bargain at the car boot sale or a foreign bazaar. If you can do it

with God any seller is a push over.”

“That sounds useful.”

“Each challenge by Abraham is presented with profuse apologies and

courtesy. Each offer about those who are not righteous is a final offer.

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Fifty is whittled down to ten. Skillful stuff. Great success and in the end

this does become four people saved, at first. Game, set and match to

Abraham.”

“But Lot is awkward. What is he, a man of God, doing living with his wife

and daughters in such a sinful place as Sodom?”

“You have made assumptions. Very common, I know, but Capernaum,

where Jesus frequently stayed,1 was worse than Sodom, according to

John the Baptist.2 Jesus described any town which rejected the 72 also

as being worse than Sodom.3 Sometimes we must go in amongst the

heathens. Lot could be an early example of outreach. Unusual in early

Jewish history, but God did save him.”

“So the good people of the Guild, trying to follow Christ, should live

beside brothels?”

“Eh. A rescue shop within a yard of hell is one possible example of

ministry but we all have different talents.”

“Yes, best to stick to making tea and sandwiches.”

“Lot is a great example of hospitality. Insisting on housing and feeding

the angels, who were prepared to spend the night in the street. Anyone

we wine and dine could be a messenger from God. So our finest food.

1 Matt.4:13; Matt. 17:24; Mark 1:21; Mark 2:1; Mark 9:33; Luke 4:31;Luke 7:1; John 2:12; John 6:24; John 6:59. 2 Matt.11:24. 3 Luke 10:12.

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They will like that. Also taking care of the stranger who is hungry and

thirsty brings in Jesus again.4”

“Yes, and it was freshly baked bread as well. Probably matzo. This is all

not too bad. The third meal with bread in the Bible - original

companionship. Fits in with the remit and interests of the Guild very

well. Almost all of them have a good relationship with food.”

“The awkward bit about Lot offering his daughters is really about saying

guests are so important that harming them would be worse than abuse

of his daughters, but pass over that. Instead talk about the mystery of

the missing man.

“The missing man?”

“Yes. The text is odd. Like the start of a novel. We start with three men

who visited Abraham and end up with two, with no explanation. Did an

angel go back to heaven and, if so, why? Did one of them chicken out on

visiting Sodom? Did something untoward happen?

“Unanswerable. They will want to know about Lot’s wife and her pillar

of salt. This is where I lose them.”

“Maybe. But read what Jesus said. Lot’s wife, who may have been

reluctant to leave anyway, turned back because she did not want to

leave her house and her belongings.5 Couldn’t leave her best pottery

behind. So she got caught up in the fire and brimstone which destroyed

4 Matt. 25:42-46. 5 Luke 17:31-33.

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Sodom. That is why her body was transformed. But not at her husband’s

side “looking” back. She went back. Her problem was not doing what her

husband said and following his example! And thinking of material things.

A warning to us all.”

“That makes sense. But what about burning sulphur or fire and

brimstone destroying the town?”

“Act of God or huge earthquake and landslide with showers of steaming

tar from the local asphalt. Area is an earthquake zone. There are salt hills

in the area to this day. Archaeology suggesting destruction and mass

graves. You choose. Describing archaeologist Steven Collins’ latest work

would be an interesting diversion.”

“So, as Groucho Marx said, the people had an excellent day. Only this

wasn’t it.”

“Something like that.”

“But the Guild are very respectable and they will want to know about

sin.”

“This is where you have to tread gently. Some of them may not have

read the Bible carefully enough. Genesis does not specify what the sin

of Sodom was only that it was very great.6 They may have believed that

it was the misuse of what my professor used to call the organs of

generation. That might have been a problem, many people have thought

6 Gen 13:13; 18:20.

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so, but they should be encouraged to read their Ezekiel. He suggested

that the issue was being too prosperous and not helping the poor and

the needy. That in Sodom they had an excess of food.7 No mention by

him of hanky panky or worse. It is true that there is one difficult incident

of men wanting the two angels in Lot’s house, which people have been

obsessed with, but the usual meaning and translation have been

disputed by scholars. You can read into that passage what you want to

see there. In any event the everyday sin was economic. Fits in better too

with what is known about Jesus’ teaching and healing in the village of

Capernaum and all its fish. Ezekiel, John the Baptist and Jesus are what

a lawyer with due reverence might call powerful authorities.”

“It might be awkward to talk to the Guild about destruction coming from

eating too much.”

“But it is true, John. Anyway tell them how to cope with their sin,

whatever it is. Sin is sweet at the beginning and bitter at the end.

Mention cakes. That the sin of love does not exist. That their sins aren’t

so many that they should stay away from Church or so few that they

shouldn’t go in.”

7 Ezekiel 16:49; cf. Jude 1:7.

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“I get the idea. But it is still difficult. Obeying husbands, cutting down on

the carbohydrates, not caring about their best china, avoiding hot tar. Is

there nothing more positive?”

“Where I started, John. Abraham has been described as the first and best

Jewish lawyer ever. Get a guy like that on your side and even God will do

a deal. Also feed angels well. Be hospitable. Share food with others.

Everything created by God is good. God invented eating! All this might

save your life.”

“Thank you. Let’s hope the Guild learn something and that we enjoy

ourselves.”

“Don’t eat too much!”

“Spoil sport.”

Written by Bill McBryde.

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Facts and Figures ... Got a pocketful of change? Did you know that shopkeepers are legally allowed to refuse to accept payment for items if you try to give them too much small change. If they want to, they can refuse to accept more than 20p in 1p and 2p coins, more than £5 in 5p and 10p coins and more than £10 in 20p and 50p coins. However, 'Helping Hands' jars for small change and 'Commitment for Life' mission boxes accept all coins (and notes), regardless of quantities. Just a wee reminder that the old style £1 coin ceases to be legal tender as from 15th October 2017. If you have old round £1 coins in your 'Helping Hands' jars or 'Commitment for Life' boxes please remember to bring them along to church before the October deadline. Earlier in May, work was completed to replace slipped and missing slates and to fit new gutters and down pipes. The total cost amounted to £10,210. Funds have been transferred from the General Fund to the Fabric Fund to meet the cost and we have applied to the National Synod of Scotland for grant assistance. Income in the General Fund for the period to 21st May stands at £28,295 against the budget figure of £26,856. Offerings, which is our main source of income, amount to £17,142 which is just ahead of the budget figure of £16,961. So far, our Gift Day total amounts to £2,408 with some envelopes still to be returned. This is a very gratifying response from the congregation and I wish to thank all of you who have contributed so generously. £2,387 has been claimed back from HMRC in respect of Gift Aid for the last quarter of 2016. A claim amounting to £2,645 has been submitted for the period 1st January to 5th April and should be received imminently. Fund raising events have been well supported resulting in a

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total of £2,914 being raised to date for the General Fund. Income from funerals and hall lettings amounts to £2,230 for the year to date. Total expenditure in the General Fund as at 21st May amounts to £24,642, resulting in a surplus of £3,653. Current assets total £80,068. On behalf of all of the elders I would like to thank you all for your loyal and generous support to the work of the church. Jean Innes Treasurer <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Please consider completing a Gift Aid Declaration if you pay UK Income Tax or Capital Gains Tax to enable the church to claim a further 25p in every pound that you give. Please speak to either Jean Innes or Irene Macdonald for more information. Also, if you have given the church a Gift Aid Declaration in the past but are no longer paying tax, please remember to let either Jean or Irene know.

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CHRISTIAN OUTREACH VOUCHER SYSTEM

"The Christian Outreach Voucher System was initially conceived as a means by which we might assist our friend James Shaw who occasionally sleeps rough in our fire escape doorway. It soon became apparent that there were others in need in Nairn and so we extended the System. Vouchers are now distributed by the Citizens' Advice Bureau and the Food Bank. Each has a value of £5 and can be exchanged for goods from Ashers the Bakers or The Dolphin Fish and Chip Shop. Blythswood Christian Care is reconsidering its position following the retirement of Jim Rae, the manager of the Leopold Street shop.

The System started in November 2016 and it would be fair to say that it got off to a slow start. But as at 6 May, a total of 41 vouchers had been redeemed which represents £205 distributed. 23 Vouchers were in circulation.

The CAB has provided an anonymised case study of the sort of people who are assisted by the System. A young mother of a child under one year old and pregnant with another had to leave her partner because of physical abuse. The bank account was in joint names and in any event had no money in it. The client could not access a Scottish Welfare Fund Crisis Grant until she made application for Universal Credit.. She could not make application for Universal Credit until she opened a bank account. She could not open a bank account because she had no address. On the day she went to the CAB for assistance, the Food Bank in Nairn was closed. She was given a voucher for the Co-Op and also one of the URC vouchers which enabled her to go to Ashers for a cup of tea,

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go to the toilet, rest, change and feed the baby in between trying to sort out her personal affairs. Through the Voucher System, we were able to assist in a very practical way. We are also indebted to George Asher for offering to reclaim only £4 for every £5 voucher redeemed at Asher’s. Part of the profits from the Jazz Concert being run by Gillian and Les Cameron on Sunday 28 May will be going to the Benevolent Fund which should enable this good work to continue. Should any member wish to support the System, please just speak to me or Jean Innes." Best James

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BABY JUMPERS FOR MALAWI

In Malawi, babies who are born with the ‘Aids’ virus are sent home from hospital wrapped in newspapers!! In order to help those innocent new born babies, we are asking you to knit a small jumper which will be sent to Malawi to keep them warm. Average knitters can complete a jumper in an evening. It’s an easy quick pattern, but we would ask that you do not use white wool in the making of your jerseys. They are made with double knitting and size 6/7 knitting needles(depending on the tension of your knitting). Bright, mixed colours are most suitable, so this means you can use up all those scraps! PATTERN: Cast on 44 stitches and work 18 rows in K2, P2 rib. Work 30 rows in stocking stitch (knit 1 row, purl 1 row), then cast on 12 stitches at the beginning of the next 2 rows and change to K2, P2 for the next 22 rows. Next row: for the neck rib 21, cast off 26, rib 21. Next row: rib 21, cast on 26, rib 21. Work 22 rows in K2, P2. Cast off 12 stitches at beginning of next 2 rows. Work 30 rows in stocking stitch, then 18 rows in K2, P2 rib. Cast off, then sew up the side seams. When completed please put them in the box in the Outer hall (conservatory). Many thanks. Babity

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STUDENT WHO GOT 0% IN AN EXAM!

Q1 In which battle did Napoleon die? - His last battle

Q2 Where was the Declaration of Independence signed? – at the

bottom of the page

Q3 River Ravi flows in which state? – Liquid

Q4 What is the main reason for divorce? – Marriage

Q5 What is the main reason for failure? – Exams

Q6 What can you never eat for breakfast? – Lunch and Dinner

Q7 What looks like half an apple? – The other half

Q8 If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what will it become? – Wet

Q9 How can a man go eight days without sleeping? – He sleeps at night

Q10 How can you lift an elephant with one hand? – You will never find an elephant

with one hand

Q11 If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three

Oranges in the other hand, what would you have? – Very large hands

Q12 If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to

build it? – no time at all, the wall is already built

Q13 How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it? – Any way

you want, concrete floors are very hard to crack!

Inserted by Angela Quinn

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SUDOKU

Inserted by Pam Gordon

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Reformed Ramblers It has been wonderful watching nature’s take on Spring colours. Most of the walks in this quarter have been through the woods. Sometimes there has been the added bonus of a river. There were plenty of birdsong to be heard, and we came across frog spawn in one or two places. There was some early rhododendrons under the walls of Cawdor Castle where it backed on to the river. By the end of March we were seeing cherry blossom. It wasn’t until half way through May that we came across an abundance of colour. A walk along the river at Beauly brought us face to face with carpets of bluebells. Blue was not the only colour to see. There were yellows, pinks, whites and purples. All contrasted beautifully against the greens of the trees. The other carpets of bluebells were to be found at Kilravock. We haven’t come across any four legged wildlife, but we had the pleasure of seeing an osprey leaving and returning to the nest on the day we went up to Dores. The other wildlife we saw were beautiful wooden carvings in various gardens in Carrbridge, and in several clearings in the Glencharnoch woods. There is also a lovely carved seat to be seen at the back of Cawdor Castle which we have seen before. The day we walked in the Culbin forest to Hill 99, we were rewarded with a magnificent view from the top. There was still snow on many mountain tops including the Cawdor Hills. So far we have been pretty lucky as regards the weather. Some days were a touch blustery, like the day we went to Findhorn. But keeping off the beach reduced the amount of wind we had to deal with. It was

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quite windy up on the Dava way, but mostly we have been blessed with the weather. One of our other beach walks was at Whiteness. The tide was far enough out that we didn’t have to worry about wet feet. There were plenty oyster catchers around, but the biggest “birds” we saw were two RAF jets flying very low. I don’t think you can get that view very often. Just as we were heading back to the cars we saw the lunchtime flight coming into to Inverness. Most of our walks have been very well attended and I believe we all enjoy chatting as we walk along. It’s certainly a good way of passing an hour or so. The reward being a lovely bowl of soup or a delicious scone washed down by a good cup of coffee. Maureen Smith <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

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CHILDREN’S CORNER

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A picture for you to colour:

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God is always there

We often feel as though God is far away

And we often feel that He Is distant when we pray

So often we feel lonely, Not knowing where to turn

Just a touch from God above, Our longing spirits yearn

So many times in our lives, God seems slow to act

We cry out in desperation, But it's faith we often lack

For God is not being slow In coming to our aid

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He comes through in His time, We just need to learn to wait

The Lord is never distant, He is there by our side

And continues to walk with us Through the storms in our lives

He always hears our hearts cry And answers all our prayers, He won't leave us all alone,

For God is always there

Inserted by Babity

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When you rearrange the letters you get: Presbyterian………………………………………….Best in prayer Astronomer…………………………………………..Moon starer The eyes………………………………………………..They see The Morse Code…………………………………….Here come dots Dormitory………………………………………………Dirty room Slot machines………………………………………..Cash lost in me Animosity………………………………………………Is no amity Election results………………………………………Lies-let’s recount Snooze alarms……………………………………….Alas! no more Z’s Decimal point…………………………………………I’m a dot in place The earthquakes…………………………………….That queer shake Eleven plus two………………………………………Twelve plus one Mother-in-law………………………………………..Woman Hitler Inserted by Leslie Brown

I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd

gives his life for the sheep.

John 10:11 Jesus described Himself as a good shepherd – one who would

protect and guide and feed his flock of sheep – that is, the

people who follow Him. He gave His life for them.

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Sunday 4th June Prof. Bill McBryde

Sunday 11th June Rev. Maureen Wilson

Sunday 18th June Minister from Priesthill

Sunday 25th June Derek Innes

Sunday 2nd July Prof. Bill McBryde

Sunday 9th July Derek Innes

Sunday 16th July Derek Innes

Sunday 23rd July Prof. Bill McBryde

Sunday 30th July Prof. Bill McBryde

Sunday 6th August Rev. Maureen Wilson

Sunday 13th August Derek Innes

Sunday 20th August Rev. Maureen Wilson

Sunday 27th August Derek Innes

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Mr Derek Innes – Locum 01667 451193 07791125954 dereklinnes@btinternet.com Church Secretary Mr James Taylor 01667 451676 Jtaylor210@btinternet.com Treasurer Mrs Jean Innes j.innes845@btinternet.com Hall Hire Pat MacMillan 01667 455692 Pat.broomcottage@mypostoffice.co.uk

Pastoral Group

Angela Quinn

01667 45655

07920195142

quinnie@btopenworld.com